How Film Captures the Space Between Hope and Despair | Mounia Akl | TED

28,368 views ・ 2022-03-14

TED


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譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Helen Chang
00:04
Hello.
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哈囉。
00:05
So as you know,
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各位知道,這裡不是我的舒適圈。
00:07
my comfort zone isn’t here.
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00:09
It’s usually on set,
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我的舒適圈通常是 在片場,在攝影機後面,
00:10
behind a camera,
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00:12
like him,
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就像他,或是他。
00:13
or him.
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00:14
But I’m very happy to be here.
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但我很高興來到這裡。
00:16
So yes, I was born in Beirut, Lebanon.
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是的,我是在黎巴嫩的貝魯特出生。
00:20
It’s what I call my home country.
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它是我的祖國。
00:23
It’s the place where my first memories are,
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我最早的記憶都是那裡的記憶,
00:25
where my parents live,
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我父母住在那裡,
00:27
where my first loves are,
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我最初的戀情在那裡, 最初的心碎也在那裡。
00:29
my first heartbreaks.
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00:31
I’ve lived in other places
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我住過其他地方, 也把那裡當成是家。
00:33
and I’ve made them home,
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00:35
like New York,
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比如紐約,我愛上了這個地方, 也在這個地方談了戀愛。
00:36
which I’ve fallen in love with --
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00:37
and in.
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00:39
But I always felt like my biggest strength
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但我一直都覺得,
我最強大的力量來自於
00:42
came from the fact that I knew exactly where I came from.
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我很清楚知道我來自何方。
00:47
And that knowledge was very important to me
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知道這一點,對我非常重要,
因為它真的定義了 我是什麼樣的女性。
00:50
because it really defines who I am as a woman.
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00:54
But growing up in Lebanon comes with a price.
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但在黎巴嫩長大是有代價的。
00:56
I think this tension and this --
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我認為這種緊張狀況和這——
01:00
what I have between my home country is something I cherish
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我和我祖國之間的關係,
我很珍惜,但也是一種擔子。
01:04
but it’s also a burden,
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01:06
because Lebanon is a place with a very contradicting soul.
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因為黎巴嫩這個地方 有著非常矛盾的靈魂。
01:09
It’s a place filled with chaos and poetry;
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這個地方充滿了混亂與詩意;
01:13
a place where hope and despair coexist in really strange ways.
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希望和絕望以非常奇怪的方式 在這個地方共存著。
01:18
It’s also a place where joy and sorrow are inseparable,
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在這個地方,喜悅與悲傷 也是不可分離的,
01:23
like Khalil Gibran --
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比如黎巴嫩詩人卡里‧紀伯倫 在我最愛的一首詩中,
01:25
in one of my favorite poems by our national poet,
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01:28
Khalil Gibran mentions “that well from which comes our laughter
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卡里‧紀伯倫寫道:
「那口井是我們笑聲的來源, 也蘊藏著我們的眼淚。」
01:32
is also the one that hosts our tears.”
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01:35
And I think today, more than ever, this is true in Lebanon,
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我想,現今的黎巴嫩 比以往更符合這樣的說法,
01:38
because after everything that happened,
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因為,在發生了這一切之後,
01:40
it feels like a land of broken dreams,
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它感覺就像是破碎夢想之地,
01:43
but filled with so many dreams nonetheless.
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但無論如何還是充滿了夢想。
01:46
And growing up in Lebanon,
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在黎巴嫩長大的過程中,我們經常
01:49
we were constantly on the verge of the worst.
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身在最糟糕的邊緣。
01:51
We felt like that silence between [one] crisis and the other
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我們覺得,在一次危機 和下一次危機之間的寂靜,
01:55
was almost more agonizing than the crisis itself.
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幾乎比危機本身還要讓人痛苦。
01:59
And that really defined us as human beings,
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那真的就是我們身為人類的特性,
02:01
because we really live every day as if it were our last,
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因為我們真的把每一天 用最好的方式和最糟的方式,
02:04
and that’s in the best and the worst kind of ways.
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當作我們的最後一天在過。
02:09
I think this is where the screenwriter in me was born:
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我想,我內心的劇作家 就是在這裡出生的:
02:12
at home in Lebanon,
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在黎巴嫩的家鄉,
02:14
in the streets at home
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在家鄉的街頭,
02:16
and the house I grew up in,
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在我長大的房子裡,
因為我迷上了
02:18
because I became fascinated with human flaws and vulnerabilities
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人類的瑕疵和脆弱,以及
02:22
and the truth that comes out of us in times of crisis
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在危機之中及在壓力之下,
02:26
and when we’re put under pressure.
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我們會展現出的真實性。
02:28
And when at home,
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在家裡,我看到我最愛的父母,
02:30
when I saw the people I loved the most,
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02:32
my parents,
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02:33
be real,
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他們很真實,不知怎麼的, 我就會感覺很自在。
02:34
I felt free somehow.
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02:36
It wasn’t always pretty but at least it felt safe,
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真實不見得都很美好, 但至少讓我感到安全,
02:38
like this is a place where we can be ourselves.
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在這個地方,我們可以做自己。
02:45
But in 2020,
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但,2020 年,
02:46
when the pandemic hit the planet,
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當疫情襲捲全球,
02:50
we all started questioning what home meant.
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我們都開始質疑家的意義是什麼。
02:53
My parents were architects --
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我的父母是建築師—— 現在仍然是,
02:54
are architects,
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02:56
so they also added to what I felt home was to my definition of home.
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所以他們也擴充了我對 家的感受、我對家的定義。
03:01
Because before following my own dreams --
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因為,在追尋我自己的夢想之前——
03:04
being a filmmaker --
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我夢想成為電影工作者——
03:06
I was a good daughter,
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我是個好女兒,好女孩, 追尋的是我爸爸的夢想,
03:07
a good girl,
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03:08
and I followed my father’s dreams
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我攻讀建築,也完成了學業。
03:10
and I studied architecture and finished.
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03:12
And what I learned in architecture school is how much you can learn about people,
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我在建築學校裡學到的是,
你可以了解很多關於人的事、
03:19
about their story,
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關於他們的故事、關於社會,
03:20
about societies through the spaces that they inhabit,
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這些都存在於他們居住的空間中、
03:24
through every object,
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在每樣物品、每個相框、每面牆中,
03:25
every frame, every wall,
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03:27
through the ground,
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在地面上,在街道上。
03:28
through the streets.
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03:29
But what do you do
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但,當你覺得你腳下的地板 或許撐不住時,你該怎麼做?
03:30
when you feel like the ground on which you’re standing might not hold?
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03:34
In the world of today,
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現今的世界充斥著政治的不穩定、
03:35
filled with political instability,
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03:38
climate disasters, where our spaces are constantly ravaged and threatened,
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氣候變遷,而我們的空間 經常被蹂躪及威脅,
03:42
how do you create a sense of home?
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你要如何創造出家的感覺?
2020 年,疫情爆發時,
03:45
In 2020 when the pandemic hit,
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03:47
we all felt --
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我們都覺得——或至少我們 當中很幸運有家的那些人——
03:48
or at least those of us lucky enough to have homes --
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03:51
we all went inside,
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我們都進到家中, 家變成我們的安全空間。
03:52
and that became our safe space.
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03:54
The outside world became the threat:
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外面的世界變成是威脅:
03:57
the air, the people.
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空氣、人,這隱形的怪獸就在外頭。
03:58
This invisible monster was outside.
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04:00
But as long as you were tucked in your bubble,
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但,只要躲在你的泡泡裡, 你就是安全的。
04:03
you were safe.
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04:04
And I’m talking about those of us
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我指的這些人是
04:05
who are lucky enough not to live locked with an abuser,
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被關在家裡時, 很幸運家中沒有虐待者,
04:09
victims of domestic abuse.
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不是家暴受害者。
04:11
So for those of us,
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對我們這些人而言, 安全泡泡是在家裡。
04:13
the safe bubble was inside.
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04:15
Or so we thought.
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或至少我們這樣認為。
04:17
On August 4, 2020 in Lebanon,
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2020 年八月四日,在黎巴嫩,
04:21
our lives changed.
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我們的人生改變了。
04:23
In a split of a second,
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在短短一瞬間,
04:24
one of the largest non-nuclear explosions pulverized our port
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最大的非核爆炸之一,
粉碎了我們的港口, 摧毀了我們的半個城市,
04:28
and destroyed half our city,
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04:30
killing many people
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導致許多人死亡,家園毀滅,
04:31
and destroying homes
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04:32
and creating losses that we can’t even count until today.
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造成的損失至今仍然難以計算。
04:36
And there still hasn’t been accountability for what happened,
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發生這種事,都還沒有人負責,
04:39
even though it was the result of years of political mismanagement and corruption.
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即使這是多年來政治 管理不善以及腐敗的結果。
04:44
I happened, on that day, to be in Beirut:
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那天,我剛好在貝魯特:
04:48
in the center of Beirut,
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在貝魯特的中心,在辦公室裡,
04:49
in the office,
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04:50
because I was in pre-production for my first feature film,
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我正在為我的第一部長片 《垃圾年代》進行前製。
04:53
“Costa Brava, Lebanon,”
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04:55
a film we had been working on for a few years really hard,
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我們為這部片努力投入了幾年時間,
05:00
and a film that, ironically, is the story of a family that decides to leave Beirut,
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諷刺的是,故事講的是一個家庭決定
要離開貝魯特,因為他們 在那裡不再感到安全,
05:05
a place that doesn’t feel safe to them anymore
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05:08
to create a utopic mountain home,
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他們要去山中創造烏托邦家園,
05:11
a self-sustainable mountain home
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在山中自給自足的家園,
05:13
away from a city that has broken their hearts.
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遠離讓他們心碎的城市。
05:16
This is the cast of the film.
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這些是電影的演員。
05:17
And then what happens
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接著發生的事是,
05:19
is that their utopia is completely destroyed
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他們的烏托邦被完全 摧毀了,因為政府決定
05:22
when the government decides
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05:23
to build an illegal garbage landfill right outside their home,
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建造一個非法的垃圾場, 剛好就在他們的家園外面。
05:27
bringing that reality to their front door --
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把那現實直接帶到他們的家門口——
05:30
the one they have been running away from for many years.
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多年來,他們一直在躲避的現實。
05:33
The family finds itself again confronted to this destruction
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這個家庭發現他們要再一次遭遇
他們一直想躲避的毀滅,
05:38
that it had been trying to avoid,
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05:41
facing everything it was trying to protect itself from.
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面對他們為了保護自己 而一直試圖躲開的一切。
05:45
I was with the crew, the cast and the crew of the film
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我當時和電影的工作人員 及演員在一起,
05:49
in the office in Gemmayze in Beirut,
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我們在貝魯特吉美扎的辦公室裡,
05:51
when at six or seven,
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在六、七點時,一瞬間,
05:52
in the split of a second,
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05:54
our lives were turned upside down.
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我們的人生成了一片混亂。
05:56
We went from a creative meeting filled with passion and love
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我們本來在開一場創意會議, 滿是熱情、愛,和興奮,
06:00
and excitement
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06:01
to looking for each other under rubble,
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突然變成在瓦礫堆下找尋彼此,
06:04
wondering if we had all made it alive.
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不知道是否大家都活下來了。
06:07
Luckily, we did,
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我們很幸運都活下來了,
06:09
and we were much luckier than a lot of people in the same street.
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且我們比同一條街上的 許多人都幸運很多。
06:13
My cinematographer, Joe, almost lost his eye
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我的攝影技師喬差點失去 一隻眼睛,大家都受傷了。
06:16
and everyone was injured.
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06:19
We got out of the street
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我們跑到街上,
06:21
and realized that the explosion was not just next to the office,
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發現爆炸不只是
在辦公室旁邊,而是每個地方,
06:26
but everywhere,
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06:27
and that’s when we understood how big it was.
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此時我們才知道事情有多嚴重。
06:30
Walking down the street like zombies around that time,
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那時,我們像是 喪屍一樣在街上走著,
06:32
surrounded by broken, confused, stunned faces,
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周邊都是破碎、困惑、嚇呆的面孔,
06:36
felt like walking in the set of a movie I don’t want to direct or be a part of.
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感覺就像是走在電影片場, 一部我不想要執導或參與的電影。
06:42
Everyone’s homes,
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每個人的家、他們的私人空間、 他們的相框、他們的牆壁,
06:43
their private spaces,
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06:44
their frames, their walls,
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06:47
were dust on which we were walking.
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都成了我們走過時腳下的塵土。
06:51
We stopped everything at that moment
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那一刻,我們的一切都停止了, 因為我們失去了所有的座標:
06:53
because we lost all of our coordinates:
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06:55
all of our sense of home,
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所有家的感覺,我們努力的一切。
06:56
everything that we had worked for.
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06:59
So what we did is we just took a moment for two months
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我們的做法是,休息兩個月的時間,
07:03
and each of us took time to grieve,
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每個人都花些時間 來哀悼,評估損失,
07:05
to assess the losses,
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07:07
whether it was the office or all of us.
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辦公室,或我們所有人,皆是如此。
07:09
Anyway, how can you even think about being creative
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你怎麼可能
去思考創意或製作什麼,
07:13
or making anything
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07:14
at a moment where you feel like you’re living hell --
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畢竟那時你根本覺得你在地獄——
07:17
in the middle of hell?
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身在地獄裡?
07:19
You cannot create amidst such chaos.
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在那樣的混亂當中,不可能創作。
07:22
At that moment,
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那時,我母親——我那天的英雄,
07:23
my mother --
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07:24
my hero on that day
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07:25
because it’s only thanks to her that some of us made it to a hospital,
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因為靠著她,我們當中的 一些人才有辦法到醫院,
07:29
who has lived civil wars --
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她是見過戰爭的人——
07:31
reminded me of a book I read in architecture school.
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這讓我想起我在 建築學校時讀的一本書。
07:34
“Invisible Cities” by Italo Calvino.
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《看不見的城市》,作者是 伊塔羅‧卡爾維諾。
07:37
I’ll read to you the quote that she read to me at that time
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讓我讀一段引述, 這是當她看到我和我的團隊
07:41
when she saw the despair me and my team were in.
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有多絕望時,讀給我聽的。
07:46
“The hell of the living is not something that will be.
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「活人的地獄並不會在將來。
07:49
If there is one,
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如果真有活人的地獄, 它已經在這裡了,
07:51
it is what is already here,
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07:52
the hell we live every day, that we make by being together.
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我們每天身處的地獄, 我們共同造成的地獄。
07:56
There are two ways to escape suffering it.
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有兩種方式可以脫離它的苦難。
07:59
The first is easy for many:
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第一種對許多人而言很容易:
08:01
accept the hell,
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接受地獄,變成它的一部分, 到你自己也看不見它的程度。
08:02
and become such a part of it that you can no longer see it.
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08:06
The second is risky
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第二種很冒險,需要經常提心吊膽,
08:07
and demands constant vigilance and apprehension:
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08:10
seek and learn to recognize who and what, in the midst of hell, are not hell,
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在地獄當中,尋找、了解 誰/什麼不是地獄的一部分,
08:15
then make them endure, give them space.”
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接著讓他/它們更持久, 給他/它們空間。」
08:18
Luckily, these people were not too far from me.
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幸運的是,這些人離我不遠,
08:21
There were the cast and the crew of this film,
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就是這部電影的演員和工作人員,
08:23
so we met all together and brainstormed.
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於是,我們聚在一起做腦力激盪。
08:27
We thought, should we make this film or not?
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我們在想,我們該不該完成這部片?
08:29
It seemed crazy to make anything around that time in Lebanon
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在黎巴嫩,要在那段時間 製作什麼都是很瘋狂的事,
08:33
because the country was experiencing, until now,
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因為這個國家到現在
都還在經歷立國以來 最慘烈的經濟危機,
08:36
its worst economic crisis since its inception,
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08:39
the loss and the destruction
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損失和毀滅,以及爆炸後 我們的創傷後壓力症候群,
08:41
and the PTSD we were all going through after the explosion
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08:44
and also the global pandemic,
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此外,全球疫情也重挫了黎巴嫩,
08:46
which was hitting the country really hard,
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08:49
which we had almost forgotten about
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不過發生這些其他的事, 讓我們幾乎都忘了疫情。
08:50
because of everything else that was happening.
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08:53
But at a moment where existing felt like an act of resistance,
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但在這樣的時刻,「存在」 感覺就像是種反抗行為,
08:57
we felt like making this movie was very important,
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我們覺得在此時製作 這部電影是很重要的事,
09:00
because it would mean regaining agency --
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因為那就意味著重新取得 能動性——重新取得能動性,
09:03
to regain agency
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09:04
and feel like they haven't taken everything from us.
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感覺我們並沒有完全失去一切。
09:08
And as Maya Angelou says,
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馬雅‧安傑洛所說,
09:09
there’s nothing more agonizing
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沒有什麼比心中放著一個 未訴說的故事更讓人痛苦了——
09:11
than an untold story hanging inside of you --
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09:14
not directly quoting.
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以上非一字不差的引述。
09:16
And I think we really needed to regain a sense of order,
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我認為我們真的需要 重新找回秩序感,
09:20
find our coordinate,
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找到我們的座標,家的感覺。
09:21
a sense of home.
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09:22
And like after World War I,
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就像一次大戰後,
09:24
a lot of European artists went back into classicism,
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許多歐洲藝術家回到古典主義,
09:27
trying to run away from this feeling of destruction
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試圖逃離
戰爭帶來的這種毀滅感,
09:31
that the war had brought in
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09:32
and stepped away from the experimentalism that came before,
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離開先前的實驗主義,
09:36
I think we used creativity to rebuild those pillars and that order.
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我認為我們是用創意 來重建那些支柱和秩序。
09:41
So it was a crazy decision,
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那是個很瘋狂的決定,但我們做了,
09:43
but we did it because we wanted to
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因為我們想做,因為 有某種力量推動著我們。
09:45
and because something was driving us.
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09:47
So we went and made the film against all odds.
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所以,我們克服萬難, 完成了那部電影。
09:51
And it was hard,
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過程很辛苦,障礙重重, 但同時也很美麗,
09:53
it was filled with obstacles,
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09:55
but it was beautiful,
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09:56
because at a moment where we had missed human connection
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因為,在我們失去人類連結的時刻,
09:59
and at a moment where our societies are becoming more fragile and loveless,
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在我們的社會變得 更脆弱且無愛的時刻,
10:05
we were able to recreate a moment of warmth,
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我們能夠重新創造出溫暖的一刻,
10:08
of love and magic,
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愛與魔法的一刻,
10:09
at a moment where it was hard to find any.
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這些,在此時都非常稀有。
10:12
And I think that that was very special
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我認為那段經歷非常特別, 因為一起說故事,
10:14
because telling the story together gave us ...
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讓我們……再次有家的感覺。
10:18
a sense of home again.
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10:19
It felt like the set became that safe space,
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感覺就像片場變成了 安全空間,變成了家庭。
10:22
that family.
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10:23
And it was as real and as raw as the home I was telling you about.
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且它和我剛才說的家 一樣真實、一樣自然。
10:27
Because we were all filled with creativity
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因為我們都充滿了 創意和創作的慾望,
10:30
and a desire to make something,
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10:32
but we are also grieving and broken.
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但我們也很悲傷、破碎。
10:35
So that was me again,
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所以,我又再一次發現,
10:37
realizing the beauty of being surrounded by people as real as me,
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身邊都是和我一樣 真實的人有多麼棒,
10:41
even if it was not always pretty,
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即使真實不見得都很美好,
10:44
but it was real.
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但,是真實的。
10:46
And I think that courage and --
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我認為那勇氣及——
10:49
we were always told to go to that place that is the place of great pain
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別人總是告訴我們,
要到那個巨大痛苦的地方,
10:54
because it’s also a place of great inspiration.
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因為那也是有強大靈感的地方。
10:58
I think that it’s easy to hear and to say,
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我認為,聽和說都很容易,
11:00
but it’s really hard to achieve.
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但要達成真的很難。
11:02
I think that courage to go there,
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我認為,到那裡的勇氣,
11:04
to go where it hurts when you’re so broken,
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在你如此破碎時, 要到那麼痛苦的地方,
11:07
came to me from those people,
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這些演員和工作人員
11:08
this cast and crew
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11:10
that really, really gave me the courage
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真的給了我
11:14
to want to tell the story
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想把故事說出來的勇氣, 並提醒我這有多麼重要。
11:15
and reminded me of the importance of it.
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11:18
And I want to mention also those two girls.
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我也想要提一下這兩個女孩。
11:21
I actually have twins who played the role of Rim,
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我讓雙胞胎來演出琳姆這個角色,
11:24
the protagonist of the film,
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電影的主角,她們兩人 一起演這個角色。
11:26
and they both shared the role.
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11:28
And I think working with them was a great learning experience for me,
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和她們共事對我而言 是很棒的學習經驗,因為
11:31
because that’s the beauty of being a filmmaker.
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拍電影的美好之處在於
11:35
You work with people from different ages
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總是能和各種不同年齡、 背景的人共事。
11:37
and different backgrounds all the time,
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11:39
and working with them,
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和她們共事,對我們 片場中的所有人而言,
11:40
for all of us on set,
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11:41
was a reminder of the importance of remaining hopeful
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是在提醒我們,保有希望
和保持驚奇感的重要性,
11:45
and keeping the sense of wonder,
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11:47
especially for their generation.
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特別是為了她們的世代,因為 不論現今我們在為什麼世界而戰,
11:49
Because whatever world we’re fighting for today,
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11:52
they will be able to benefit from.
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他們都會從中受益。
11:54
And so I know that we all deal with loss and rebuilding a home that we lost
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所以,我知道我們都用不同的方式
處理失去和重建家園。
11:59
in different ways.
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12:00
For me, it was through human connection
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我的做法是透過人類連結,
12:02
and understanding that it wasn't necessarily a space anymore.
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並了解到家不再只是一個空間了。
12:06
And I think for you it might be something else.
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對各位而言可能又不一樣。
12:08
We all channel that in different ways.
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我們用的方式都不同。
12:11
But for me,
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但,對我來說,在那
12:12
that moment of joy, of sorrow, of freedom,
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喜悅、悲傷、自由、創意的時刻,
12:16
of creativity,
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12:17
that moment between the “action” and the “cut,”
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在「開始」和「卡」之間的時刻,
12:20
that’s what felt like home.
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就有家的感覺。
12:22
And I’m very grateful for that.
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我對此非常感恩。
12:24
Thank you.
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謝謝。
12:25
(Applause and cheers)
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(掌聲及歡呼)
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