3 Skills Every Middle School Boy Needs | Jerome Hunter | TED

翻译人员: Florence Cai 校对人员: sylvia feng

Whenever I tell people I work at a middle school,

每当我告诉人们我在一所中学工作，

they often lean back and suck their teeth.

他们经常倒吸一口冷气。

It's like they're having a visceral reaction

简直像是只要提到了那些年

to the mere mention of those years,

他们就会产生应激反应

and it makes sense.

这是有一些道理的。

Middle school is a time like no other.

中学是一段非常特别的时光。

It's when significant biological, neurological and emotional changes

这是当生理、心理和情绪

are happening all at the same time.

同时发生重大的变化的时候。

So how do middle schoolers respond to these changes?

那么中学生如何应对这些变化呢？

Well, some might ignore deodorant but overuse Axe body spray.

好吧，有些人可能忽视除臭剂 但过度使用 Axe 身体喷雾剂。

You can find them holding up the walls during the school dance.

你会发现他们在 学校舞会期间缩在角落里。

And there's usually a desire to be treated like an adult,

他们通常都希望 被像成年人一样对待，

but they can't quite let go of their action figures.

但他们又不能完全放弃他们的手办，

You might imagine that it looks a little like this.

你可能会想象它看起来有点像这样。

This was me in sixth grade,

这是六年级的我，

and like many middle school students,

和许多中学生一样，

I was earnest, I was goofy,

我很认真，也很傻，

and I was just discovering who I wanted to be.

我才开始探索 自己想成为什么样的人。

Now I had no idea that I'd go on to teach middle school.

我完全不知道我会去教中学。

They say the grade levels you teach are most reflective of your personality.

他们说你教的年级 最能反映你的个性。

So I'm not quite sure what it says about me

所以我不太确定对我来说它指什么

that I later went on to found a middle school for boys.

因为我后来又创办了一所男子中学。

But in all seriousness,

但说真的，

it didn't take long as a teacher

当老师没多久

to realize that my male students were acting kind of strange.

我就意识到我的男学生们 表现得有点奇怪。

I remember there was this one year,

我记得有一年，

we were doing a get-to-know-you activity

我们正在做一个“介绍自己”的活动

where students would use old magazines

学生们会用旧杂志

to create collages representing who they were.

来创作代表了他们自己的拼贴画。

And many of the collages had all of the things

许多拼贴画

that typical middle schoolers like:

都有典型中学生喜欢的所有东西：

the outdoors, sports,

户外、运动、

the latest fashion, the hottest shoes, you know, all the important stuff.

新潮时尚、最热门的鞋子， 你懂的，所有重要的东西。

However, there were some that were not exactly what I had in mind.

但是，有些内容 并不完全符合我的想象。

A group of middle school boys created these collages that were comical,

一群中学生创作了这些有趣，

if not concerning.

但又有些令人担忧的拼贴画。

It was almost as if they had made templates

就好像他们已经为自己应该成为的人

of who they thought that they should be.

制作了模板。

Girls in bikinis, fast cars, professional wrestlers,

比基尼女孩、快车、职业摔跤手、

first-person shooter video games.

第一人称射击游戏。

You get the idea.

你知道的。

One collage actually had to have had

一所学校实际要有

至少25 种 对金·卡戴珊不同的印象

at least 25 different images of Kim Kardashian.

And this wasn't an isolated incident.

这不是一个单独的事件。

Whether it was going down a somewhat sketchy YouTube rabbit hole

无论是进入一个感觉哪里 都不太对的YouTube世界，

or mindlessly indulging in meme culture,

还是盲目地沉迷于那些

which we know can get really hairy really fast,

火得很快的梗文化，

I was noticing a pattern with my boys.

我开始注意到我 的孩子们的一种模式。

Instead of chalking it up as mindless activities

我并没有将其当作随意打闹

or typical middle school behavior,

或当作典型的中学行为，

I decided to investigate.

我决定进行调查。

I became a mentor for an afterschool program called My Brother's Keeper.

我成为了一个名为“兄弟的守护者” 的课后项目的导师。

And in this space, we could have more in-depth conversations.

在这个空间里， 我们可以进行更深入的对话。

Inspired by the 2016 presidential debates,

受到2016 年总统辩论的启发，

I asked this group of boys an age-old question:

我向这群男孩提出了 一个老生常谈的问题：

“Does absolute power corrupt absolutely?”

“绝对权力是否绝对腐败？”

Students began to discuss amongst themselves.

同学们开始议论纷纷。

And then I asked, "Now what would you do if you had this kind of power?

然后我问，

“如果你有这种权利，你会做什么？

And what if it was unchecked?"

如果它不受管理怎么办？”

Students continued talking and then they shared out.

学生们又继续开始讨论，然后分享。

Many of them said that they would use their power for good or even share it.

他们中的许多人表示，

他们会善用自己 的权利，甚至分享它。

And as I listened, I felt hopeful.

当我听的时候，我感到充满希望。

Realizing that young men could take a different path.

我意识到年轻人 可以选择走不同的道路。

And then I brought the group together and I just said,

然后我把大家召集在一起，我说，

"Does it have to be this way?"

“一定只能这样吗？”

Their collective light bulbs lit up,

他们的思维灯泡亮了起来，

realizing that they could reject this version of masculinity.

意识到他们可以拒绝这种男子气概。

And at the same time, I too had an “aha!” moment.

同时，我也有了一个“啊哈！”瞬间

It became clear to me that middle school boys

我越来越确定，中学男生是

are so impressionable and so full of potential.

如此易受影响，如此充满潜力。

But what if I told you those same middle school boys

但如果我告诉你， 同样是这些男中学生

could lead us to a more just and equitable society

只要通过重新定义男子气概

他们可以带领我们走向一个 更加公正和公平的社会？

by redefining masculinity?

Now in the days and weeks that followed,

在接下来的几天和几周里，

I continued to reflect on this idea.

我继续反思这个想法。

What actually is masculinity?

究竟什么是男子气概？

If we reject the gender binary and affirm people of all genders,

如果我们拒绝“性别二元论” 并肯定所有性别的人，

how does masculinity fit into that?

那么男子气概如何融入其中？

What are the expectations of masculinity

当涉及种族、 阶级和其他社会因素时，

when it comes to race, class and other social factors?

我们对男性气质的期望是什么？

I knew that middle school is fertile ground for this work.

我知道中学是这项工作的沃土。

And my reflection led me to identify three critical skills

我的反思让我确定了三项中学生可以

that middle schoolers can practice to redefine masculinity.

练习重新定义男子气概的关键技能

I call them the three C's.

我称它们为三个 C。

The first one is confidence,

第一个是信心（confidence），

the second is communication,

第二是沟通（communication），

and the third is community.

第三是社区（community）。

Now these three C's stand as the pillars of my school

现在，这三个 C 作为我学校的支柱，

to show people that middle schoolers can redefine masculinity.

向人们展示了中学生 可以重新定义男子气概。

Now number one, confidence is essential to teach in middle school.

第一，我们必须要在中学教自信。

Students are exploring their identities,

学生正在探索他们的身份，

and they're more open to abstract thinking.

他们更愿意接受抽象思维

I believe that having a healthy and balanced confidence

我相信拥有健康和平衡的自信

allows boys to feel good about who they are

可以让男孩们对自我感觉良好，

rather than feeling uncomfortable for trying to be someone they're not.

而不会因为试图成为他们不是 的人而感到不舒服。

It’s different than simply being praised or rewarded for achievements

这不同于简单地因成就 而受到表扬或奖励

but rather rooted in a deep sense of self.

而是源于深刻的自我意识。

And so what my school does is move away from either-or thinking.

所以我的学校所做的是 摆脱非此即彼的思考。

Instead of boys believing that they have to choose

男孩们不必再认为他们必须要选择

between being smart or athletic,

要么聪明要么运动、

poetic or pragmatic,

要么充满诗意要么务实

we guide our boys to a more holistic version of masculinity

我们引导我们的男孩们 去获得更全面的男子气概

that includes both-and.

这包括两者兼而有之。

And as bell hooks and Olga Silverstein said,

正如Bell Hooks 和 Olga Silverstein 所说，

we need men who are empathetic and strong;

我们需要有同情心和坚强的人；

autonomous and connected;

既能自理也能与他人相处；

responsible to self, friends, family,

对自己、朋友、家人、

和社区负责；

to community;

and capable of understanding

并且能够理解

how those responsibilities are ultimately inseparable.

这些责任始终是不可分割的。

And from a purely academic standpoint,

从纯粹的学术角度来看，

we provide opportunities to teach confidence

我们提供了学习自信的机会

through cross-curricular work and projects

通过跨学科的工作和项目，

that include math, science, the humanities, art, home ec, sports

包括数学、科学、人文、 艺术、家政、体育，

to show them that deep learning and critical thinking

向他们展示深度学习和批判性思维

often require an integration of all of these subjects.

通常需要整合所有这些学科。

Teaching confidence allows boys to understand

通过教会他们自信，男孩们明白

that there’s an entire spectrum of how they can express themselves,

他们有很多方式来表达自己，

and they can feel good and value the complexity of their identity

他们可以感觉良好 并重视他们身份的复杂性

and stand firm in it with confidence.

并怀着信心坚定地站在其中。

The second C represents communication.

第二个C代表交流

Now communication is key.

沟通是关键。

To counter the messages that society tells boys to constrict their emotions,

为了反驳这个告诉男孩们 要抑制情绪的社会，

my school practices a variety of communication methods,

我的学校会练习多种沟通方式，

both intrapersonally and interpersonally.

包括内省和人际交流。

Now intrapersonally is how you communicate with yourself,

内省是你与自己沟通的方式，

and interpersonally is how you communicate with others.

人际关系是你与他人沟通的方式。

One example of our intrapersonal communication methods

举例一个我们练习自省的方法

is we'll have students arrive at their desks

我们会在一天的开始

让学生坐在他们的桌前

at the beginning of the day.

They'll close their eyes, breathe evenly for about a minute

他们会闭上眼睛， 均匀地呼吸大约一分钟，

so they can just check in with themselves, see how they're doing,

这样他们就可以检查自己， 看看自己怎么样，

what they're thinking, how they're feeling.

在想什么，感觉如何。

It allows them to put a frame around their thoughts and emotions

它可以让他们为自己的想法和情绪 设定一个框架，

so they can focus on it a little more deeply throughout the day.

这样他们就可以在一天中 更深入地关注它。

Students also keep gratitude journals.

学生还会写感恩日记。

Research shows that when students express gratitude on a regular basis,

研究表明，当学生 定期表达感激之情时，

it increases positive emotions toward themselves and toward others.

它会增加对自己和他人的积极情绪。

An interpersonal practice that we like to do

而我们喜欢做的人际交往练习是

is at the end of the day, we'll have students gather in a circle

在一天结束时， 我们会让学生围成一圈，

to offer an appreciation for someone or something.

对某人或某事表示感谢

Open it up to an apology

敞开心扉的道歉

or talk about a social issue that might be on their hearts.

或者谈论他们可能关心的社会问题。

And we normalize these forms of communication

我们将这些交流形式规范化

to show boys that it is perfectly human

向男孩们表明，你完全可以

to open your minds and your hearts to your community.

向你的思想，你的心灵 以及你的社区敞开心扉。

Now the third C represents community,

现在第三个C代表社区

to counter this false sense of individualism

为了对抗这种错误的个人主义意识

and having to pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

导致人们觉得只能靠自己 的力量振作起来。

While we also know that there is great value in teaching our boys

尽管我们也知道教导我们的男孩

the importance of independence,

独立的重要性有很大的价值，

it can be stymied when taken to an extreme.

但如果走向极端， 它反而会变成阻碍。

And so what we do is we engage in an inquiry process

所以我们所做的是参与访问调查，

where we observe what's going on in our communities,

观察我们社区中发生的事情，

either locally, nationally or globally,

范围可以在地方、国家或全球

and then pose an essential question.

然后提出一个重点问题。

One year we posed an essential question to our students that asked,

有一年，我们向 学生提出了一个重点问题，

"How can we create a community where everyone feels a sense of belonging?"

“我们如何创建一个 让每个人都有归属感的社区？”

Students took this question. They generated initial thoughts.

学生们接受了这个问题。 并产生了一些的想法。

They sought multiple perspectives from their peers, their teachers,

他们从同龄人、老师

community leaders.

和社区领袖那里寻求多种观点。

And then they came back to us and said,

然后他们回来对我们说，

"We'd like to address homelessness in Seattle."

“我们想解决西雅图 的无家可归问题。”

We loved this idea.

我们很喜欢这个主意。

And so we partnered with a local construction company

因此，我们与当地一家建筑公司合作

to design, build and donate a tiny house.

设计、建造并捐赠了一座小房子。

Now what we realized is through this community learning process,

我们意识到， 通过这个社区学习过程，

students felt a greater sense of satisfaction with studying,

学生对学习、承担学术风险 感到更加满意。

taking academic risks and just valuing the overall learning process.

也更加重视整个学习过程

In addition, students felt more comfortable

此外，学生感觉更舒适

taking on leadership roles inside and outside of the classroom.

在课堂内外担任领导角色。

One thing to note that in each of these three C's

需要注意的是，在每一个C 中

the adults involved modeled this new version of masculinity

参与其中的成年人 都模仿了这种新的男性气质，

to prove to students that they don't have to fit into a stereotype.

以向学生证明 他们不必适应刻板印象。

And while I'm often impressed

虽然我经常钦佩于

by the vulnerability and kindness of each of my students,

每个学生的脆弱和善良，

it's still a middle school.

它仍然是一所中学。

It's this liminal space between childhood and adulthood.

这是童年和成年之间 的这个临界空间。

And amongst our sophisticated conversations,

在我们复杂的谈话中，

there's a lot of nonsensical humor.

有很多荒谬的幽默。

And very few of them have taken up regular usage of deodorant.

而且他们中很少有人 会长期使用除臭剂。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And I know that this is lifelong work and there's no quick fix,

我知道这是终生的工作， 没有快速解决办法，

but they show me that a better future is possible.

但它们告诉我， 一个更美好的未来是可能的。

What if masculinity meant having a healthy and balanced confidence,

如果男子气概意味着 拥有健康和平衡的自信、

communicating clearly, being connected to your community?

清晰的沟通、与社会紧密连接？

Just imagine how different our world would be.

想象一下我们的世界会有多么不同。

My students don't even show me that this future is possible,

我的学生甚至没有向我 证明这个未来是可能的，

but this future is here, with middle school boys leading the way.

但这个未来就在这里， 由中学男生带路。

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）