How to Live a Meaningful Life | Brian S. Lowery | TED

翻译人员: Yip Yan Yeung 校对人员: Yanyan Hong

Life is amazing. Life is incredible.

人生精彩绝伦，人生无与伦比。

The experiences we have, the possibilities of personal achievement.

我们的经历， 个人成就的可能性。

You could summit Everest.

你可以登上珠穆朗玛峰。

You could create a huge, successful business.

你可以创立一个庞大又成功的企业。

You could give a TED Talk.

你可以做一场 TED Talk。

And when you're successful, it feels incredible.

你成功的时候， 会感觉不可思议。

Success, the flush of excitement, the celebration.

成功、心潮澎湃、庆祝。

And you should celebrate.

你确实应该庆祝。

The congratulations, the posting on Instagram

恭喜的帖子， Instagram 发的贴子，

or wherever you put your stuff up.

或者你发在别处的帖子。

It all feels great.

一切都感觉很棒。

But when that fades, when that starts to fade,

但是，当它消失时， 当它开始消失时，

sometimes slowly, sometimes all at once,

有时是缓慢的， 有时是一下子消失的，

a question comes up: "Is this it? Is this all there is?"

就会出现一个问题： “就这样了吗？仅此而已吗？”

And so I'm going to tell you a little story about myself,

所以我要讲一个我自己的小故事，

to give you a sense of this.

让你感受一下。

For those of you who don't know, I'm a professor at Stanford.

如果你还不知道， 我是斯坦福大学的教授。

When I got my job, I was elated, elated,

当我找到这份工作时， 我兴高采烈、欣喜若狂，

and a little bit terrified.

还有点害怕。

And I was terrified because when you get a job like that,

我很害怕， 因为当你找到这样的工作时，

you know you’re going to be reviewed in about seven years.

你就知道你会在七年左右接受评审。

And either you’re going to get tenure, more or less a job for life,

你要么获得终身教职， 差不多是吃一辈子的工作，

or you're going to get fired.

要么被解雇。

(Laughs)

（笑）

It's a little bit like that movie "Glengarry Glen Ross,"

有点像那部电影《拜金一族》 （Glengarry Glen Ross）中，

the scene where Alec Baldwin's character goes in to give the motivational speech,

亚历克·鲍德温（Alec Baldwin）的角色 发表励志演讲的桥段，

and he says, "It's going to be a competition.

他说：“这将是一场竞赛。

First prize, Cadillac Eldorado.

一等奖，凯迪拉克埃尔多拉多。

Second prize, set of steak knives.

二等奖，牛排刀套装。

Third prize, you're fired."

三等奖，你被解雇了。”

It's a little bit like that, except there's no second prize.

有点类似，只是没有二等奖。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And it turns out, as you might imagine, that has a way of focusing your mind.

事实证明，你可以想象， 这会让你集中精力。

Right? So I was really, really focused on doing good research,

对吧？我真的非常、 非常专注于做好研究、

getting my papers published, doing well in the classroom

发表论文、在课堂上表现出色，

and all the other little things you need to do to get tenure.

还有为了获得终身教职的其他小事。

And seven years later, I made it.

七年后，我成功了。

(Applause)

（掌声）

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）

And it was a huge relief, and I was so excited.

我松了一大口气，很兴奋。

I was so excited.

我太激动了。

But that question came up, is this it?

但是问题出现了：就这样了吗？

Is this is this really all? All there is?

仅此而已吗？ 这就是全部了吗？

And I reflected back,

回顾往昔，

and I thought about the time I spent in undergrad ...

想起我读本科的时光……

five years in grad school, the tears.

读研究生五年，还有眼泪。

And there were a lot of tears.

流下了很多眼泪。

The seven years of trying to get tenure.

努力获得教职的七年。

And I had expected, I had hoped

我曾期待，我曾希望，

that when I made it past that, when I succeeded,

当我跨过那道坎时，当我成功时，

when I went through that threshold, life would feel different.

当我跨过那个门槛时， 人生会不一样。

I would feel fulfilled.

我会感到满足。

It would feel meaningful to me.

我会感到有意义。

My life would feel meaningful.

我会感觉人生有意义。

But it turns out that wasn't what happened.

但结果并非如此。

Now when psychologists talk about meaningfulness in life,

当心理学家说到人生的意义，

what they're talking about is a sense that our lives matter,

他们说的是我们的人生很重要，

that the world makes sense,

世界是有道理的，

that we are more than the sum of our minutes,

我们不仅仅是我们在这个星球上 几分钟、几天和几年的总和。

days and years on this planet.

The research on meaningfulness in life

关于人生意义的研究表明，

suggests there are three big ideas associated with meaningfulness in life.

有三个与人生意义相关的好主意。

The first big idea is coherence.

第一个好主意是连贯性。

The world needs to feel coherent.

世界需要保持连贯性。

After winter comes spring.

冬天之后就是春天。

After spring comes summer.

春天之后就是夏天。

You get up in the morning,

你早上起床，

brush your teeth, have breakfast,

刷牙，吃早餐，

get the kids off to school, go to work.

送孩子们去学校，去工作。

Those little routines make the world feel knowable,

这些小日常让世界变得可知、

predictable, coherent.

可预测、连贯一致。

Now when you think about personal achievement,

当你想到个人成就时，

it does create, sometimes, this experience of coherence,

它有时确实会创造这种连贯的体验，

because we achieve within a framework.

因为我们是在一个框架内达成的。

I understood what they expected of me for tenure.

我知道如果要得到教职， 他们会期待我有些什么。

I understood that if I got my papers published,

我知道，如果我发表论文，

I did well in the classroom,

我在课堂上表现良好，

talked to the right people, did all the networking,

和正确的人对话，进行各种社交，

there was a good chance I'd get tenure.

我就很有可能获得终身教职。

If you're trying to lose weight, you understand

如果你想减肥，你就知道

if you change your diet, you exercise, the weight will come off.

如果你改变饮食习惯、运动， 体重就会减轻。

Or at least we hope so.

至少我们希望如此。

(Laughs)

（笑）

Now those things,

这些东西，

that framework gives the world a sense of coherence.

这种框架给了世界一种连贯感。

Second big idea associated with meaningfulness in life:

与人生意义相关的第二个好主意：

purpose.

目的。

Now, sometimes, people use the term purpose as a synonym

有时候，人们会把“目的”一词 作为“人生意义”的同义词。

for meaning in life.

And that's not how I mean it here.

此处我不是这个意思。

Purpose is a way of thinking about what your life can be and should be

目的是一种思考未来生活 可以、应该是什么样的方式。

in the future.

It's a way of directing your actions.

是指导你行动的一种方式。

It gives you goals.

它为你提供了目标。

When you get up in the morning, you know what you need to do.

当你早上起床时， 你知道你需要做什么。

Here's where the drive for personal achievement is strongest.

这是追求个人成就的最强动力。

It's clearest.

这是最明显的。

When I was worried about tenure,

当我担心终身教职时，

I knew exactly what I needed to do when I got up in the morning.

我确切地知道早上起床后需要做什么。

When you have a goal, when you're trying to achieve something,

当你有了目标， 当你试图达成某件事时，

you have a clarity about what you should do, how to direct your behavior.

你就会清楚地知道自己应该做什么， 如何引导自己的行为。

So that's the second big idea, it's purpose.

这是第二个好主意，就是目的。

Now the third big idea,

第三个好主意，

by many considered to be the most important,

很多人都认为是最重要的， 那就是“重要性”。

is significance.

And the way I like to think about significance

我思考重要性的方式

is the sense that you can transcend yourself,

是感觉到你可以超越自我，

that you are more than what you are right now,

你比现在更进一步，

that you will continue to matter into the future,

你会超越此时此刻， 在未来依旧重要。

beyond this moment.

This is where I think personal achievement falls short.

这就是我认为个人成就不足的地方。

By definition, personal achievement focuses on you, to focus on the self.

个人成就的定义 围绕着你，围绕着你自己。

And if that's all there is, it's difficult to have significance.

如果仅此而已， 那就很难有什么分量。

OK.

好吧。

So now I want to think about meaningfulness in life

现在我想思考一下人生的意义，

and significance in particular.

尤其是重要性。

It brings to mind a quote attributed to Leonardo da Vinci.

它让我想起了 列奥纳多·达·芬奇的一句话。

Some of you might know it.

在座可能有人知道。

So Leonardo da Vinci was purported to have said, on his deathbed ...

据称列奥纳多·达·芬奇 临终前曾说过：

"I have offended God and mankind,

“我冒犯了上帝和人类，

because my work did not achieve the quality it should have."

因为我的作品没有达到应有的质量。”

Now I wasn’t there, so I don’t know if he said that exactly in that way.

当时我不在场，所以我不知道 他到底是不是这么说的。

But here’s the thing:

但问题是：

you can imagine it, you understand it.

你可以想象，你能理解。

You understand what it means to have even the most glorious achievements

你明白取得最光荣的成就意味着什么，

and still ask, is this enough?

但还会问，这就够了吗？

Is this it? Is this all I add up to?

就是这样吗？到头来就是这些吗？

When I look back and think about my time early on in my career,

当我回顾我的职业生涯早期，

I think about when did it feel meaningful.

我在想什么时候 是让我感到有意义的。

What gave me a sense of meaning?

是什么让我觉得有意义？

What I think about were my PhD students.

我想到的是我的博士生。

So one of the things that faculty do is train the next generation of faculty.

教师要做的一件事 就是培训下一代教师。

And so you have PhD students for a significant amount of time,

所以你的博士生 会呆在你身边很长一段时间，

often could be five to six years.

通常是五到六年。

And the relationships are pretty intense.

而且这种关系非常紧张。

So let me tell you about my first student, Miguel Unzueta.

我想说一说我的第一位学生 米格尔·昂苏埃塔（Miguel Unzueta）。

So Miguel was born in El Paso, Texas, in a relatively low-income area.

米格尔出生在德克萨斯州埃尔帕索的 一个相对低收入的地区。

Really smart kid. Does well in school,

真的很聪明的孩子。 在学校表现不错，

ends up at the University of Texas at Austin,

最终进入德克萨斯大学奥斯汀分校，

which is a great university.

这是一所很棒的大学。

Does well there, eventually ends up in the PhD program at Stanford.

在那里表现不错， 最终进入了斯坦福大学的博士项目。

So Miguel gets there the year before I do.

米格尔在我前一年进入斯坦福。

And by his own account, he's having a tough time.

根据他自己的说法， 他过得很艰难。

It's a little rough,

有点艰难，

in part because he doesn't have the cultural capital

部分原因是他没有 像入学斯坦福这样大学的许多人

that many people that go places like Stanford have.

拥有的文化资本。

He doesn't understand how the place works, so he's struggling a little bit.

他不明白这个地方是如何运作的， 所以他有点挣扎。

Now when I arrive, I’m really impressed, because he’s so smart, he’s ambitious,

当我入职时，我印象非常深刻， 因为他非常聪明，雄心勃勃，

and he's asking questions and interested in things that I'm interested in.

他会问问题， 也对我感兴趣的东西感兴趣。

So I'm really excited to work with him.

所以能和他共事， 我真的很兴奋。

And so we started to work together and again, it's really intense.

于是我们开始合作， 如我所说，非常紧张。

I'm working with him for four years.

我和他一起工作了四年。

We see each other almost every day for those four years.

在这四年里， 我们几乎每天都见面。

And some days, we're working together 10 to 12 hours a day.

有时候，我们每天要一起工作 10 到 12 个小时。

So it's a very intense experience.

强度相当大的一段经历。

And what I remember about that time

我记得当时，

was that I was really worried about doing enough

我真的很担心我做的够不够， 才能让他可以成功。

to make sure he would be successful.

I was concerned, "Am I being a good advisor?

我很担心， “我是一个好导师吗？

Am I giving him what he needs?

我在给他他需要的东西吗？

Am I helping him in his story?"

在他的故事里，我在帮他吗？”

Now keep in mind I want to get tenure.

请记住，我想获得终身教职。

I still think I'm going to get fired.

我还是觉得我会被解雇的。

So even with that fear,

尽管有这种恐惧，

I'm worried about what do I need to do

但我仍担心我需要做些什么

to make sure Miguel can continue in his story and his journey.

才能确保米格尔能够 继续他的故事和旅程。

And by the way, he did. He's been great. He got a job.

顺便说一句，他做到了。 他太棒了。他找到了工作。

He's been a professor now for over 15 years at UCLA.

他在加州大学洛杉矶分校 担任教授已超过 15 年。

He's had serious leadership roles at his university,

他在大学里 担任过重要的领导职务，

and I'm incredibly proud that I got a chance to be a little part of that.

我为有机会参与其中而感到非常自豪。

What do I take from that?

我从中得到了什么？

I take from that is that relationships are what provide us meaning.

我从中得出了 人际关系为我们提供了意义。

And my guess is you already knew that.

我猜你已经知道了。

I'm saying something a little bit more than that.

我想说的不止于此。

Not just that relationships provide meaning,

不只是人际关系提供了意义，

but that being a part of a story that is not your own provides meaning.

而且参与别人的故事也会带来意义。

Being a part of a story that is not your own provides meaning.

参与一个不是 你自己的故事会带来意义。

So where does this leave us?

这让我们得到了什么收获呢？

One, I think personal achievement is great.

第一，我认为个人成就很棒。

Like, I love my personal achievements.

我喜欢我的个人成就。

I'm really happy with my life. I think it's turned out OK.

我对自己的人生真的很满意。 我认为结果还可以。

I wish incredible personal achievements for all of you.

祝福你们所有人 都能取得极大的个人成就。

So I think that personal achievement is fantastic.

我认为个人成就太棒了。

However, sometimes ...

但是，有时候……

we replace the deep human need for meaning

我们用对个人成就的追求

取代了人类对意义的深刻需求，

with chasing of personal achievement,

and it's a problem when we confuse those two things.

当我们混淆这两件事时， 就会出现问题。

And the reason they get confused,

之所以混淆，

the reason it's easy to confuse them

之所以容易混淆，

is because personal achievement is easy to quantify.

是因为个人成就很容易量化。

You know if you got that job, if you bought that home,

你知道如果你找到了那份工作， 如果你买了那套房子，

you know what your salary is.

你就会知道你的薪水是多少。

It's easy to see and it feels comfortable to chase things you understand

很容易看到，而且追寻你理解

and you can achieve.

和可以实现的事情也很舒服。

That's one reason.

这是其中一个原因。

The other reason is that personal achievement feels good.

另一个原因是个人成就 让人感觉良好。

Personal achievement feels good.

个人成就让人感觉良好。

We think what we want is happiness,

我们以为自己想要的是快乐，

and personal achievement provides a hit of happiness.

而个人成就带来了快乐。

It feels fantastic when you make that achievement.

当你取得成就时，感觉太棒了。

Getting meaning doesn't necessarily feel that way.

获得意义未必是这种感觉。

For example, studies find that parents

例如，研究发现，

who spend more time parenting their children

花更多时间养育子女的父母

report more meaningfulness in life,

表示人生有更多的意义，

but not necessarily more happiness.

不一定是更多的快乐。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

So these things are not the same.

所以这些东西不一样。

So if you want more meaning in life, what is there to do?

如果你想要更多的人生意义， 那该怎么做呢？

One, look for opportunities to participate in others' stories.

第一，寻找机会参与他人的故事。

And it's funny I'm saying this

我站在舞台上这个红圈里 说这些很有意思，

as I'm standing on this stage in the circle,

but there's a lot of main character energy,

但我认为此刻的现场 有大量主角能量。

I would argue, in this room right now.

(Laughter)

（笑声）

It's fantastic, I love it.

太棒了，我很喜欢。

However, you might try a little supporting actor energy,

但是，如果你想要意义， 你可以试试一些配角能量。

if you want meaning.

Play a supporting role in other people’s lives.

在他人的人生中做配角。

That's number one.

这是第一点。

Two, accept that the pursuit of meaning

第二，接受对意义的追求

may not generate happiness.

可能不会产生快乐。

The pursuit of meaning might not generate happiness.

对意义的追求 可能不会带来幸福。

In fact, it might be uncomfortable.

其实可能会感觉不舒服。

It turns out that meaning is more associated

事实证明，意义更多地

with the self providing for others than providing for you, for yourself.

与为他人付出有关， 而不是为你，为你自己付出。

And that's sometimes a hard thing to do.

有时候这是一件很难做到的事情。

Expending effort, emotional energy

付出努力、情感能量，

on behalf of something that is not going to return happiness

花在不会回报快乐的事情上，

is not something that we tend to think of as a good use of our time.

并不是我们会认为 有效利用自己时间的事。

But it turns out it does produce meaning.

但它确实产生了意义。

So let me let me say just a couple more things

我再讲几点。

One ...

第一……

I think the human need and pursuit of meaning

我认为人类对意义的需求和追求

is both beautiful and profound,

既美好又深刻，

because when you have meaning in your life,

因为当你的人生有了意义，

that means that someone else gave you the opportunity

这意味着别人给了你一个机会，

to participate in a story that is not your own.

让你可以参与他人的故事。

And for the meaning you have in your life, you should feel a deep gratitude

对于你的人生意义，你应该

对那些让你参与 他人的故事的人深表感谢。

for the people who have allowed you to participate in the story

that it was not your own.

On the other side,

另一方面，

when you allow people to participate in your life,

当你让别人参与你的生活时，

you're giving them the opportunity to generate meaning.

你就是在给他们创造意义的机会。

And so in that way, the deep, deep human need for meaning connects us in a circle,

这样人类对意义的深刻需求 将我们联结成一个圈子，

I think a beautiful and profound circle of generosity and gratitude.

一个美好而有意义的圈子， 充满慷慨和感激之情。

And so right now here, I'm deeply grateful that you all have let me

此时此刻，我非常感谢你们让我

participate in your stories.

参与你们的故事。

And that's deeply meaningful for me.

这对我来说意义深远。

Thank you for that.

谢谢你们。

(Applause)

（掌声）

The theme of this conference is "The Brave and the Brilliant."

本次会议的主题是“勇敢与卓越”。

I think that one way that we can experience or be brave

我认为，我们可以 体验或变得勇敢的一种方式

is by accepting the fact that our personal achievements, what we're capable of,

是接受这样一个事实， 我们的个人成就、我们擅长的事、

the things that we've done,

我们所做的事，

pale in comparison to the effect we have on other people

比起我们对他人产生的影响 和这对世界的影响，显得微不足道。

and what that does in the world.

(Applause)

（掌声）

And that is, you go through the world with all of your brilliance,

你带着一身才华走遍世界，

and I mean that in terms of light,

如果用光打比方，

as you go through the world, lighting the world,

你走遍了世界，也点亮了世界，

when you interact with other people and you illuminate them

你与他人互动，点亮他们，

and help them shine more brightly,

帮助他们更闪耀，

that's how the world gets illuminated.

世界就是这样被照亮的。

That's how we bring up the lights.

我们就是这样闪耀的。

And the world, obviously, desperately needs that.

显然，世界迫切需要这一点。

And in return, what you get is meaning,

作为回报，你得到的是意义，

because when we're gone,

因为当我们离开时，

all of the accomplishments will mean nothing.

所有的成就都将毫无意义。

The only thing that will be left of you when you're gone --

你离开后唯一留下的东西……

and we all will be gone eventually --

我们最终都会离开……

the only thing will be left of you

你唯一留下的就是

is the role you played in other people's stories,

你在别人的故事中扮演的角色，

what you leave with other people,

你给他人留下了什么，

how that reverberates through time.

它又如何随着时间的推移而回响。

And that is a beautiful thing,

这是一件美好的事情，

and I wish all of that for you.

祝福你们都能拥有。

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Cheers and applause)

（欢呼和掌声）