Steven Sharp Nelson: How to find peace with loss through music | TED

Transcriber:

翻译人员: Gracia Chew 校对人员: Helen Chang

(演奏巴赫的《G大调 第一无伴奏大提琴组曲：前奏曲》）

(Plays Bach's "Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major, Prelude")

（演奏 The Piano Guys 的《大提琴曲》）

(Plays The Piano Guys' "Cello Song")

（欢呼声和掌声）

(Cheers and applause)

（掌声结束）

谢谢大家。非常感谢大家。

就如维托·埔柱所言，

“我想感谢让这场演出能顺利进行的父母

(Applause ends)

和让它有必要进行的孩子们。”

Thank you. Thank you so much.

As Victor Borge used to say,

（笑声）

"I'd like to thank my parents for making this performance possible,

生活中有太多人 让我们得以找到人生目的，

and my children for making it necessary."

并给其目的赋予必要性。

(Laughter)

我想带你们踏上一趟音乐旅程，

So many people in our lives make our life purpose possible --

让你们能以此与

深爱的人、

and necessary.

想有更多时间爱的人

I'd like to take you on a musical journey

和希望能回到身边的人联系。

that connects you with one of those people,

someone you love dearly,

这是我母亲。

someone you wanted to have a little more time to love,

她漂亮吧？

还有这个男孩。（清嗓）

someone you wish was still with you.

This is my mom.

对，那恐怕是我。

Isn't she beautiful?

听好，别被那稚气的笑容 和时髦的披头士发式给骗了：

And then there's this guy. (Clears throat)

我总是闯祸。

Yeah. I'm afraid that's me.

但就如你们所看到的， 我与母亲相处时很快乐。

Now, don't let that childlike grin and superstylish Beatles haircut fool you:

她是史上歌声最动听的女高音之一，

I was trouble.

天生就拥有天使般的嗓音。

But as you could see, I was happy when I was with my mom.

她原本不管在哪儿都能成为社会的焦点，

She's one of the greatest lyrical sopranos that's ever lived,

但她为了当我母亲

ineffably gifted with the voice of an angel.

放弃了舞台。

She could have had center stage anywhere -- anywhere in the world --

今天，她把这个舞台送给了我。

当我在一场大型演出前

but she gave that up

或与 The Piano Guys 在

to be my mom.

世界各地巡回演出时感到紧张，

She gave me this stage with you today.

又或者离开舞台时

在焦虑和抑郁中挣扎，

She's been by my side when I've been particularly nervous

for a big performance,

touring the world with The Piano Guys,

又或者被众人

or when I've been off the stage

普遍在对抗的恶劣自卑感侵蚀，

and struggling and at the mercy of anxiety and depression.

她都会陪在我身边。

Or when I felt like I'm under the thumb

在我想放弃的那一刻，

of this perniciously pervasive demon known as inadequacy

她轻轻将我向前推。

that so many of us are fighting.

因此我今天能成为一名音乐人， 得归功于她为我做出的牺牲

She's gently nudged me forward

right at the moment when I've felt like giving up.

和她继续给予我的支持。

而那份支持既深沉又特别强劲。

So I'm a musician today, not only because of what she gave up for me,

为什么？

but also because of what she continues to give me.

因为它来自鲜为人知的地方。

And that support is profound and especially powerful.

我给你们看的第一个照片被拍了不久后，

Why?

Because it comes from a place about which we know very little.

我母亲忽然在家休克倒地。

Not long after that first picture I showed you was taken,

那是多么紧张的时刻。

我父亲急忙带她奔赴急诊室，

my mother fell to the floor of our home suddenly, in this really scary seizure.

结果发现她头脑长了肿瘤。

非常大的肿瘤。

Such an intense moment.

医生不知她还剩多少时间 --

My dad rushed her to the ER:

可能一、二或者三年的时间。

brain tumor.

但由于她的坚韧 和一系列难以形容的奇迹，

A big one.

The doctors didn't know how long we'd have with her --

母亲违逆了医生的预测

one, two, maybe three years before we'd lose her.

But due to her strength and a series of indescribable miracles,

并与脑肿瘤对抗了18年。

（掌声）

she defied that prognosis and fought that brain tumor

谢谢。

我会让她知道的。谢谢。

for 18 years.

(Applause)

Thank you.

她与脑肿瘤对抗了18年，但想想看：

I'll let her know. Thank you.

当中的部分岁月确实很艰苦， 就如你们能想象的。

可是我们从中学会感恩每一天。

She fought that brain tumor for 18 years, but think about it:

some of those years were really rough, as you can imagine.

当她逝世时，我无法鼓掌，因为我

But we learned to be grateful for every day.

还没准备好面对她生命的终结。

所以她过世后的那段期间， 我沉溺在愤怒、悲酸、怨恨的情绪里，

Now, when her final curtain call came, I couldn't applaud,

because I wasn't ready for it to end.

对从我身边被抢走的岁月感到困惑，

So after she passed away, I spent some time being angry, bitter, resentful,

对我从未有机会了解这 美丽女人的高音感到不解；

confused at these years that were stolen from me,

我多么想听她在 毫无疼痛的情况下放声歌唱，

at the chance I never had to know the soprano in this beautiful woman;

多么想与她表演，

就坐在她身边弹大提琴，

to hear her sing in full voice without pain;

就仰望着她唱歌时那美丽的脸庞。

噢，我肯定会珍爱那个机会的。

to perform with her -- oh, I would have loved that,

可我不曾有过那个机会。

just me playing the cello right next to her,

因此她的逝世让我受尽煎熬，难以释怀。

just looking up at her beautiful face singing.

Oh, I would have loved that chance.

但当时，我发现了某件事。

I never got that chance.

促使我踏上这舞台，

So I struggled with this, I really did.

与你们说话的事。

But then, I discovered something,

人生中最雄伟的旋律 岂不常在我们痛苦挣扎的

something that has compelled me to be on this stage,

黑暗交响中谱写的吗？

talking with you today.

而在这黑暗的交响中，被母亲的离世 折磨的我找到心灵上的疗愈。

Isn't it true that our life's most sublime melodies tend to be written

during the dark symphonies of our struggle?

让我受过伤却也治愈我的正是

And in this dark symphony, I found the healing for Mother --?

音乐之力。

The very thing that had wounded me was the same thing that healed me:

你们看，自那以后，我与母亲 度过了一些非常特别的时光。

the power of music.

通过音乐，我发现

我失去过的人其实并没真正离去，

You see, since then, I've spent some very special time with my mom.

而他们的离世给我们体内留下的空洞

Through music, I've discovered

不应被其他人或物填补。

that the people we've lost aren't lost at all,

and the holes their absence leaves inside us

反而，这些空洞是有意、经意的地方，

are not meant to be filled by someone or something else.

让我们避难，

与心爱的人重新联系和重聚，

Instead, they are intentional, mindful places,

并发现他们依然有兴趣

meant for us to go to take refuge,

投注于和参与我们的生活点滴。

to reconnect and to reunite with our loved ones,

to find them there, still interested, still invested

我就在那里找到了母亲。

and somehow, still involved in the details of our lives.

眼前，我无法利用科学将 音乐之力证明给你们看；

根本没机会。

That is where I found my mom.

精神性帮助我迈出第一步，

Now, I can't prove this to you with science;

但归根结底，你们须通过 各自的方式到达彼岸。

there's no chance.

And spirituality helped me take the first step,

而音乐，音乐之力，能在这趟荒诞、

but ultimately, you just have to go there yourself in your own way.

极其重要的路程上起到引导的作用。

And music, the power of music, can act as a guide for you

如果你们愿意，我想现在 带着你们一起到那里去。

on this incredible, important journey.

我想把这展现给你们，因为 若你们以后需用上它的话，

If you're willing, I'd like to go there together right now.

当你们在寂静的地方独处时，

并有让自己颇有感触的歌曲，

And I want to show this to you because if you need to use this later on,

我想给你们见识这将如何行得通。

请闭上眼睛。

when you're on your own in a quiet place,

and you've got a song that's personal to you,

选择一个你想联系的亲人。

I want to show you how this can work.

I'd like you to close your eyes if you would, please.

他可以是你在我说话时早已在想的人。

Choose a loved one you want to connect with.

我要你想象你喜欢的一个地方，

让你能放松的地方。

It could be someone you've already been thinking about as I've been talking.

它可以是你俩喜欢的地方。

I want you to picture a favorite place,

现在，想象你的亲人 正坐或站在你对面。

a relaxing place.

It could be a place that you both adored together.

尽可能详细地描绘整个画面， 这很重要。

他们穿着什么？

Now picture your loved one sitting or standing across from you.

他们有什么姿势、什么表情？

Make this as detailed as you can; it's important.

是笑容吗？

What are they wearing?

是一脸关心吗？

What is their posture, their expression?

还是眼中写着希望呢？

Is it a smile?

我要你把画面留在脑海中，

Is it a look of concern?

你可闭着眼睛或睁着眼睛做；

Or is hope written in their eyes?

都随你。

但在我弹奏最后一首曲目的当儿，

I want you to hold this image in your mind,

我要你继续待在这个地方。

and you could do so continually with your eyes closed,

那是我从未公开演奏的曲目。

or you can open them; it's up to you.

为什么？因为我怕 它得不到公平的待遇。

But I want you to live in this place

while I play for you one more piece of music.

那是我母亲喜欢的曲子。

It's a piece I've never performed in public.

而在演奏的当儿，我希望你们能

Why? Because I feared that I wouldn't do it justice.

与对面那美丽的人谈话。

我要你牵着他们的手，互相拥抱许久，

It's my mom's favorite.

And as I play, I want you to have a conversation

with this beautiful person across from you.

请求他们的原谅，

或必要的话慨然给予原谅。

I want you to hold their hand, share a long hug,

在某些问题上寻求帮助。

ask for forgiveness

or finally give of it freely if you need to.

最少对他们为了造就 今天的你所付出的一切

Ask for help with something you're struggling with.

表达感恩。

At the very least, express gratitude for how they've made you possible

表达爱。

我的母亲是个拥有天使般的

and necessary.

Express love.

嗓音的女高音。

My mother is a soprano,

而那个嗓音对我来说

依然甜美，依旧响亮耳熟。

with the voice of an angel.

而当我演奏时，我希望你们 能听到自己天使的声音

And that voice for me is still sweet

and rings with a resounding relevance.

并让音乐找寻失去过的人。

And as I play, I hope you can hear the voice of your own angel

and let music find someone you've lost.

（弹奏普契尼的《今夜无人入睡》）

(Plays Puccini's "Nessun dorma")

（弹奏普契尼的《今夜无人入睡》）

(Plays Puccini's "Nessun dorma")

（弹奏普契尼的《今夜无人入睡》）

(Plays Puccini's "Nessun dorma")

（欢呼声和掌声）

(Cheers and applause)