Steven Sharp Nelson: How to find peace with loss through music | TED

Transcriber:

譯者: Val Zhang 審譯者: Helen Chang

（演奏：巴哈的〈G大調第一號 無伴奏大提琴組曲──前奏曲 〉）

(Plays Bach's "Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major, Prelude")

（演奏：「酷音樂團」將前曲改編為 〈大提琴之歌 〉）

(Plays The Piano Guys' "Cello Song")

（歡呼和掌聲）

(Cheers and applause)

（掌聲結束）

謝謝大家。非常感謝。

正如維克托 · 伯厄曾說：

「感謝父母給我上台的能力，

(Applause ends)

感謝孩子是我上台的動力。」

Thank you. Thank you so much.

As Victor Borge used to say,

（笑聲）

"I'd like to thank my parents for making this performance possible,

許多人賦予我們能力 和動力去成就使命。

and my children for making it necessary."

(Laughter)

我想帶你踏上音樂之旅

So many people in our lives make our life purpose possible --

連結你與一位你深愛的人，

and necessary.

你想要有更多時間去愛的人、

I'd like to take you on a musical journey

你希望還在身邊的人。

that connects you with one of those people,

someone you love dearly,

這位是我的媽媽。

someone you wanted to have a little more time to love,

她是不是很美？

還有這傢伙。（清嗓子）

someone you wish was still with you.

This is my mom.

是的。這正是我。

Isn't she beautiful?

別被那孩子的笑容 和時尚的披頭四髮型騙了──

And then there's this guy. (Clears throat)

我是個小麻煩。

Yeah. I'm afraid that's me.

但如你所見，在媽媽 身邊，我很滿足。

Now, don't let that childlike grin and superstylish Beatles haircut fool you:

她是最優秀的抒情女高音之一，

I was trouble.

天賦的天使嗓音。

But as you could see, I was happy when I was with my mom.

她本能夠在世界各地登台──

She's one of the greatest lyrical sopranos that's ever lived,

但她放棄那些

ineffably gifted with the voice of an angel.

成為我的媽媽。

She could have had center stage anywhere -- anywhere in the world --

是她成就了我今日的登台。

當我特別緊張的時候 她總是在我身邊，

but she gave that up

不論是為了盛大的演出，

to be my mom.

或是與「酷音樂團」世界巡演，

She gave me this stage with you today.

或是下了舞台後

為了焦慮和低潮而掙扎。

She's been by my side when I've been particularly nervous

for a big performance,

touring the world with The Piano Guys,

或當我感覺像屈服在

or when I've been off the stage

自信不足的心魔之下──

and struggling and at the mercy of anxiety and depression.

我想許多人能感同身受。

Or when I felt like I'm under the thumb

每當我想放棄的時候

of this perniciously pervasive demon known as inadequacy

她輕輕地推我向前。

that so many of us are fighting.

今日我能成為音樂家， 除了她為我而放棄的，

She's gently nudged me forward

right at the moment when I've felt like giving up.

還有她持續為我付出的。

這種支持既深刻又強烈。

So I'm a musician today, not only because of what she gave up for me,

為何如此？

but also because of what she continues to give me.

因為它來自我們所知甚少之處。

And that support is profound and especially powerful.

在前張照片拍攝之後不久，

Why?

Because it comes from a place about which we know very little.

母親在家中突然摔倒， 非常嚴重的癲癇發作。

Not long after that first picture I showed you was taken,

非常緊張的時刻。

父親趕緊送她到急診室：

my mother fell to the floor of our home suddenly, in this really scary seizure.

腦瘤。

一顆大的腦瘤。

Such an intense moment.

醫生無法掌握預期壽命——

My dad rushed her to the ER:

也許一到三年。

brain tumor.

但由於她的力量 和一連串無法言喻的奇蹟，

A big one.

The doctors didn't know how long we'd have with her --

她無視預言並與腦瘤奮鬥了──

one, two, maybe three years before we'd lose her.

But due to her strength and a series of indescribable miracles,

18 年。

（掌聲）

she defied that prognosis and fought that brain tumor

謝謝你們的掌聲。

我會傳達給她。謝謝。

for 18 years.

(Applause)

Thank you.

她與腦瘤奮鬥了 18 年，但想想看：

I'll let her know. Thank you.

你可以想像有些日子真的不好過。

但我們學會珍惜每一天。

She fought that brain tumor for 18 years, but think about it:

some of those years were really rough, as you can imagine.

當她的生命謝幕時， 我無法為其喝采，

But we learned to be grateful for every day.

我還沒準備好面對母親離開。

她離世後，我有時會 生氣、憤怒、怨恨，

Now, when her final curtain call came, I couldn't applaud,

because I wasn't ready for it to end.

自問是否我強占了她的年華，

So after she passed away, I spent some time being angry, bitter, resentful,

代價是我從未能認識 這美人身為女高音的那面；

confused at these years that were stolen from me,

聽她用真音唱歌沒有痛苦；

at the chance I never had to know the soprano in this beautiful woman;

我會喜歡和她一起表演，

只要在她身邊拉大提琴，

to hear her sing in full voice without pain;

只要抬頭望著她唱歌時的動人神情。

哦，我多麼想要這樣的機會。

to perform with her -- oh, I would have loved that,

我從未有過這樣的機會。

just me playing the cello right next to her,

我為此苦苦掙扎，我真的很痛苦。

just looking up at her beautiful face singing.

Oh, I would have loved that chance.

但後來，我發現了一些事情，

I never got that chance.

是其推動我站在這個舞台上，

So I struggled with this, I really did.

今日與你們暢談。

But then, I discovered something,

生命中最美妙的旋律，是否往往

something that has compelled me to be on this stage,

寫在掙扎沉重的交響樂中？

talking with you today.

而在這沉重的交響樂中， 我找到治癒喪親的力量。

Isn't it true that our life's most sublime melodies tend to be written

during the dark symphonies of our struggle?

傷害我的和治癒我的，是同一件事：

And in this dark symphony, I found the healing for Mother --?

音樂的力量。

The very thing that had wounded me was the same thing that healed me:

從那之後我和媽媽共渡了 一段非常特別的時光。

the power of music.

透過音樂，我發現

我們以為失去的人仍與我們同在，

You see, since then, I've spent some very special time with my mom.

心中因他們的缺席留下的空缺

Through music, I've discovered

不是要被其他人或事填滿。

that the people we've lost aren't lost at all,

and the holes their absence leaves inside us

相反的這是值得留心的空間，

are not meant to be filled by someone or something else.

作為我們的庇護所，

重新連結和招集我們所愛的人，

Instead, they are intentional, mindful places,

發現祂們仍然在關心，仍然在付出，

meant for us to go to take refuge,

不知怎麼，仍然參與 在我們生活的細節中。

to reconnect and to reunite with our loved ones,

to find them there, still interested, still invested

在那，我發現媽媽仍與我同在。

and somehow, still involved in the details of our lives.

我無法用科學證明給你看；

沒有辦法。

That is where I found my mom.

靈性幫助我邁出第一步，

Now, I can't prove this to you with science;

但最終，你得獨自以自己的方式前往。

there's no chance.

And spirituality helped me take the first step,

而音樂的力量可作為你的嚮導

but ultimately, you just have to go there yourself in your own way.

在令人難以置信的重要旅程中。

And music, the power of music, can act as a guide for you

如果你願意，我現在 就想一起去那兒。

on this incredible, important journey.

我想示範給你看， 若你以後會用上它，

If you're willing, I'd like to go there together right now.

當你獨自在安靜的地方，

有一首對你很重要的歌，

And I want to show this to you because if you need to use this later on,

我想示範給你看：這可能如何運作。

如果你願意，我想請您閉上眼睛。

when you're on your own in a quiet place,

and you've got a song that's personal to you,

選擇一位你想聯繫且深愛的人。

I want to show you how this can work.

I'd like you to close your eyes if you would, please.

他可能是你一直在想的人。

Choose a loved one you want to connect with.

我要你描繪一個最喜歡的地方，

一個放鬆的地方。

It could be someone you've already been thinking about as I've been talking.

它可能是你們倆人都喜歡的地方。

I want you to picture a favorite place,

現在想像你所愛的人坐著 或站在你對面。

a relaxing place.

It could be a place that you both adored together.

盡可能地去描繪細節，這很重要。

他們穿什麼？

Now picture your loved one sitting or standing across from you.

他們的姿勢、表情是什麼？

Make this as detailed as you can; it's important.

是微笑嗎？

What are they wearing?

是擔心的樣子嗎？

What is their posture, their expression?

還是他們的眼中充滿了希望？

Is it a smile?

我要你帶著腦海中的畫面，

Is it a look of concern?

你可以閉著眼睛，持續地去想像，

Or is hope written in their eyes?

或你想睜開眼睛；由你決定。

但我邀你想像身處這情境，

I want you to hold this image in your mind,

當我再為你演奏一首曲目。

and you could do so continually with your eyes closed,

這是我從未公開演奏的曲目。

or you can open them; it's up to you.

為什麼？因為我怕 未能充分詮釋此作品。

But I want you to live in this place

while I play for you one more piece of music.

這是我媽媽的最愛。

It's a piece I've never performed in public.

當我演奏時，我想邀你──

Why? Because I feared that I wouldn't do it justice.

與眼前的這位美好的人對話。

我希望你牽著他們的手， 共享久久的擁抱，

It's my mom's favorite.

And as I play, I want you to have a conversation

with this beautiful person across from you.

請求原諒

或最終你得放手。

I want you to hold their hand, share a long hug,

尋求幫助你一直在掙扎的問題。

ask for forgiveness

or finally give of it freely if you need to.

至少為他們賦予你的 能力和動力而致謝。

Ask for help with something you're struggling with.

At the very least, express gratitude for how they've made you possible

表達愛意。

我母親是位女高音，

and necessary.

Express love.

有著天使的嗓音。

My mother is a soprano,

那個聲音對我來說甜美如昔

宏亮而深遠。

with the voice of an angel.

盼當我演奏時，你能 聽見你的天使之聲，

And that voice for me is still sweet

and rings with a resounding relevance.

讓音樂找到你失去的人。

And as I play, I hope you can hear the voice of your own angel

and let music find someone you've lost.

（演奏：普契尼的〈公主徹夜未眠〉）

(Plays Puccini's "Nessun dorma")

（演奏：普契尼的〈公主徹夜未眠〉）

(Plays Puccini's "Nessun dorma")

（演奏：普契尼的〈公主徹夜未眠〉）

(Plays Puccini's "Nessun dorma")

（歡呼和掌聲）

(Cheers and applause)