How to Break Through Fear and Become a Leader | Valerie Montgomery Rice | TED

翻译人员: Eric Ma 校对人员: Yanyan Hong

Let me tell you how a little pink house

让我告诉你一间粉红色的小屋

prepared me for my first workplace termination

是如何帮助我做好第一次被解雇的准备

and set me on a path of resilience, grit and fearlessness.

并让我踏上了 一条充满韧性、勇气和无畏的道路。

About 2.5 hours south of Atlanta

在亚特兰大以南约 2.5 小时车程的地方

is a little town of Wrens, Georgia,

有一个乔治亚州名叫雷恩斯的小镇，

about 2,000 people.

人口约两千。

My grandmother lived in Wrens, Georgia,

我的祖母就住在这个小镇，

in a pink house nested off a dirt road,

坐落于一条泥土小路边上的一栋粉色房子里

right off of East 88 highway.

紧靠着东 88 号公路。

It had a massive yard,

那里的院子非常大，

the kind of yard that was made for little five-year-old girls

正适合五岁的小女孩

who liked to make mud pies

玩泥巴饼

or run chicken races with their cousins to see who could run the fastest,

或和表兄弟一起跑鸡比赛，看看谁能跑得最快，

the chickens or the cousins.

是小鸡还是他们。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

That was summer at grandmother's house, and if I think about it,

那是祖母家的夏天，仔细想想，

I can remember and feel that Georgia sun on my face.

我还能记得和感受到乔治亚州的阳光 洒在我脸上的感觉。

I can remember when I was just tall enough to jump off the bed

我记得当时我刚刚个头够高

to use the pot next door to the bed,

可以从床上跳下来去旁边的便盆，

because the pink house didn't get indoor plumbing until 1968.

因为直到 1968 年， 那个粉红色的房子才有了室内下水道。

Those are the memories

那些记忆

that serve as my foundation.

构成了我的根基，

That's what helped me to become the woman that I am today.

这也让我成为了 像今天的这样一位女性。

In the midst of those challenges,

在这些挑战中，

I can hear my grandmother's voice

我仿佛还能听到祖母略带严厉的声音，

laced with a little bit of sternness when she said,

略带严厉的声音：

"Valerie, it's your time to go get the eggs out the chicken coop,"

“瓦莱丽，现在是你去鸡舍收鸡蛋的时候了。”

or sometimes even select the chicken for that day for dinner.

或者有时候，还要挑选当天的晚餐鸡。

I learned then that I would,

那时我明白了，我会去做，

I should and I could.

我应该去做，我也能够去做。

Now all of our memories are clearly not laced with warmth,

当然，所有回忆都不是充满温暖的，

because I can also remember when my family struggled.

因为我也记得家人曾经历过的艰难时光。

When my mother struggled.

当我母亲在艰难中挣扎时，

And I think about that pink house.

我常常想到那栋粉红色的房子。

That pink house was not only my classroom, but it was my mother's refuge.

那栋粉红色的房子不仅是我的课堂， 也是我母亲的避风港。

My mother was my sort of first view into leadership.

我母亲是我最初的领导力榜样。

And when I think about her

当我想起她

and all the other women who went through challenges

和所有其他经历过挑战的女性，

and how they used those challenges,

以及她们如何利用这些挑战时，

sort of to catapult them into becoming the women that they were to be.

以某种方式推动她们成为她们注定要成为的女性。

Lesson number one.

第一课。

Several years ago,

几年前，

I had to learn what it meant to accept loss, but not defeat.

我不得不学会接受失去，但不接受失败。

I was riding high on my career.

我的职业生涯一路高歌猛进。

I was a reproductive endocrinologist and fertility specialist

我曾是一名生殖内分泌学家和生育专家

who was clearly smoothly transitioning

显然正在顺利过渡到

to an academic administrative research career.

学术行政研究领域。

I became the chair of the department.

我成了系主任。

I founded the center for Women's Health Research at Meharry Medical College,

我在梅哈里医学院创立了女性健康 研究中心，

which was the first center of its kind,

这是同类中心中的第一个，

and then I became the dean of the School of Medicine.

然后我成为了医学院院长。

And at that time,

当时，

I was the youngest dean of a medical school in the country.

我是国内医学院中最年轻的院长。

(Applause)

（掌声）

Then it all came tumbling down.

然后一切都崩溃了。

When the new president of the school asked me to step down.

当学校的新校长要求我下台时。

He asked me to step down.

他要我下台，

I was devastated.

我当时大吃一惊。

I was embarrassed, I was ashamed.

我很尴尬，我很羞愧。

I was fearful.

我也很害怕。

Fear was what I felt most of all.

我感受到的最主要是恐惧。

Would I ever be able to get another job like this?

我还能再找到这样的工作吗？

What about this sense of loss, humiliation?

那这种失落感、羞辱感呢？

What would my family and my friends think about me?

我的家人和朋友会怎么看我？

Would they have a negative view of me as I went through?

在我经历的过程中， 他们会对我持负面看法吗？

I had to reach back to that pink house,

我不得不回到那个粉红色的房子里，

and I had to recall how my mother

我不得不回想起我的母亲

had gone through a similar crossroads in her life

在她的人生中是如何经历 这种类似的十字路口，

when she had to gather her four little daughters

当时她不得不在半夜唤醒

in the middle of the night to leave an abusive husband.

四个小女儿，离开她施暴的丈夫

Lost, but not defeated.

失去了，但没有被击败。

What did she do?

她做了什么？

First of all, she was accountable.

首先，她负有责任。

She actually said,

她实际上说：

"What of my actions potentially could have contributed

“我的哪些行为可能

to the situation that I find myself in?"

导致了我目前所处的境地？”

Then she took action because she was responsible,

然后她采取了行动，因为她应对此负责，

and she knew that she had to leave in order to protect her girls.

而且她知道 为了保护自己的女儿，她必须离开。

I had to do the same thing.

我也必须做同样的事情。

To paraphrase one of my favorite authors,

用我最喜欢的作家之一

Paulo Coelho,

保罗·科埃略（Paulo Coelho）的话来说，

he says that before a dream is realized,

在梦想实现之前，

the soul of the world tests everything that you have learned.

世界的灵魂会考验你所吸取的一切教训。

And it does this such that

正是这样，

when you are in pursuit of your dreams,

当你追求自己的梦想时，

you are also mastering the lessons learned in pursuit of that dream.

你也在掌握追求那个梦想过程中学到的经验教训。

I was being tested in the pursuit of my dreams,

我在追求梦想的过程中受到了考验，

and the lessons that I had learned from my mother

我从母亲那里吸取的教训

had prepared me for my circumstances,

使我为自己的处境做好了准备，

and I could move on

我可以继续前行

and move forward in my career.

并在我的职业生涯中迈步向前。

Lost but not defeated.

输了但没有被击败。

Now this leads me to leadership lesson number two.

现在，这使我想到了 第二堂领导力课。

Never fear, be fearless.

永远不要害怕，要无所畏惧。

Now, all of us know that fear is an unpleasant emotion, right?

现在，我们都知道恐惧 是一种不愉快的情绪，对吧？

It is often, though, a healthy one because it will cause you to take action,

但是，这通常是健康的， 因为它会促使你采取行动，

just like my mother did

就像我母亲不得不离开那个

when she had to leave that abusive relationship.

虐待关系时所做的那样。

Because it is an emotion and it is a biological response,

因为这是一种情绪，也是一种生物学反应

sometimes we think that the act of being fearless

所以，有时我们 认为无所畏惧的行为

means that we are not afraid.

意味着我们不害怕。

You can still be afraid,

你仍然可以害怕，

and so you may not be able to cancel that fear out completely,

因此你可能无法完全 消除这种恐惧，

but you can put it to sleep.

但你可以让它入睡。

You can learn how to lean into your fear.

你可以学会如何屈服于恐惧。

And I think the best way to do that

而且我认为做到这一点的最好方法

is to do something over and over and over again, successfully.

是一遍又一遍地、成功地做某件事。

I believe it's a superpower.

我相信这是一个超能力。

It's the superpower my mother had.

这是我妈妈拥有的超能力。

She could multitask, she could go to work,

她可以同时处理多项任务，可以去工作，

she could cook and clean,

可以做饭和打扫卫生，

she could go to work, she could run errands,

她可以去工作，她可以办事，

she could come back to work.

可以回去工作。

And then she still had empathy.

然后她还是有同情心的。

She failed, she succeeded.

她失败了，她成功了。

Not always, guys, to joy,

伙计们，并非总是为了快乐，

but to completion.

而是为了完成。

And I recognized that I had to do the same thing.

而且我意识 到我必须做同样的事情。

So when I put myself back out there, I had to interview,

因此，当我回到那里时， 我不得不去参加面试，

I had to be evaluated over and over again,

必须接受一次又一次的评估，

I was tested over and over again,

一次又一次地接受测试，

I heard “no,” I gave the word “no,”

我听到“不”，我说 “不”，

until I got to "yes,"

直到我得到 “是”，

until I got to the role

直到我找到一个

that allowed me to align my passion with my purpose.

使我的激情与我的目标保持一致的职位。

Turning your fear into being fearless allows you

将恐惧转化为无所畏惧，

to accept the challenges that you have, laced with risk,

可以让你接受充满风险的挑战，

leading you to a place that will be right for you.

带领你走向一个适合自己的地方。

Now this brings me to my third lesson.

现在我要上第三堂课。

Giving back and paying it forward.

回馈和传递善意。

As the president and CEO of Morehouse School of Medicine,

作为莫尔豪斯医学院的校长兼首席执行官

I get to sit at so many different tables,

我有机会坐在许多不同的桌子前，

tables where I'm actually able to use my voice

在这些桌子前，我能够用自己的声音

and talk about the things that are near and dear to me,

谈论我身边和珍惜的事情，

like diversifying the health care workforce

比如实现医疗队伍的多元化 ，

or working toward the elimination of health disparities,

努力消除健康差距，

or ensuring that we have culturally competent providers

或者确保我们有具备 文化能力的提供者

that are going to provide that highest quality of care.

来提供最高质量的医疗服务。

And yes, I learned from my mother

是的，我从妈妈那里学到了

how to give back in the traditional ways, community service, charity.

如何用传统的方式， 社区服务，慈善来回馈社会。

But I also believe it's important for women to tell their story.

但我也相信女性讲述自己的故事很重要。

I've told my story about watching my mother navigate

我讲过我看着妈妈度过

through an abusive relationship.

一段虐待关系的故事。

I was a child, that had an imprint on me.

我还是个孩子时，在我身上留下了印记。

I've told my story about the professional journeys

我讲了自己的故事， 讲述了职业生涯

and the challenges I've had to get to the point where I am today.

和我为成为今天的自己所面临的挑战。

We must do that for each other because women must be heard,

我们必须为彼此这样做， 因为必须听取妇女的意见，

but they also must listen.

但她们也必须倾听。

This is what gives us hope that we are not alone,

这给我们带来了希望，我们并不孤单

and that there is a light at the end of those dark tunnels.

黑暗的隧道尽头有曙光。

And of course, as a medical professional specializing in women's health,

当然，作为一名专门研究 女性健康的医疗专业人员，

I give back by staying on the forefront of reproductive rights.

我通过站在生殖权利的最前沿 来回馈社会。

(Applause)

（掌声）

Who has the right to tell me what's right for my body?

谁有权告诉我什么适合我的身体？

For my body --

为了我的身体——

(Applause)

（掌声）

for myself, for my mental well-being, for my family.

为了我自己，为了我的心理健康， 为了我的家人。

Women's reproductive rights

女性的生殖权利

and women's health rights

和妇女的健康权利

should have equal parity to any other choice

应与任何其他选择具有同等地位

I make about my health.

我对自己的健康做主。

And I really don't need anyone to tell me what's right for me.

而且我真的不需要 任何人告诉我什么适合我。

I need you to help me make the right choices with me,

我需要你帮我做出正确的选择，

but not for me.

但不是为我。

(Applause)

（掌声）

And I should have the ultimate say.

我应该有最终的发言权。

Now, I am fortunate that my job is to pay it forward.

现在，我很幸运，我的工作 是传递善意。

This means that I also must stand and raise my voice

这意味着，我也必须站出来并发声

when decisions like the recent Supreme Court decision

当最近最高法院关于

on affirmative action came out.

平权行动的裁决出台时。

It will impact the ability of people to have choice

它将影响人们做出选择

and to further their education.

和继续接受教育的能力。

Many of the women in this room,

在座的许多女性，

we know that we have benefited from affirmative action,

我们都知道平权行动使我们受益匪浅，

I clearly did.

我显然做到了。

Whether it was in college or the workplace,

无论是在大学，还是在工作场所，

and if we are honest,

说实话，如果没有平权行动，

many of us would not be where we are today if it wasn't for affirmative action.

我们中的许多人将不会有今天的样子。

So we should really be first in line talking about affirmative action,

因此，我们真的应该 将谈论平权行动排在第一位

particularly in higher ed and in the medical profession,

特别是在高等教育和医学界，

because we know that race and gender concordance impacts health outcomes.

因为我们知道种族和性别的一致性 会影响健康结果。

So how is it that we can have a military exemption

那么，我们怎么能获得军事豁免，

for the good of the country,

为了国家的利益，

but not a medical exemption for the good of the country?

却不能获得医疗豁免呢？

(Applause)

（掌声）

Particularly if we are interested in eliminating disparities

特别是如果我们有兴趣消除差距

and achieving health equity for all.

实现所有人的健康平等。

So I challenge you as leaders,

因此，我挑战你作为领导者，

I challenge you as women to raise your voices.

我挑战你作为女性来为女性发声。

We need more diversity in the future, not less.

未来我们需要更多的多样性，而不是更少。

I go back to that pink house

我回到那个粉红色的房子

because that pink house is where I learned to be vigilant.

是因为那个粉红色的房子 是我学会保持警惕的地方。

It's where I learned and understood that I had choice.

这是我了解和理解自己 有选择权的地方。

It's where I learned and understood

在这里，我学会并理解了

that I could be committed to my dreams, my aspirations.

自己可以致力于实现自己的梦想和抱负。

It's where I learned how to be fearless.

这是我学会如何无所畏惧的地方。

It's where I learned to take that fear

在这里，我学会了克服这种恐惧，

and turn it into a weapon of success that has allowed me to lead.

把它变成成功的武器， 让我能够发挥领导作用。

That little pink house is where I gained courage.

那个粉红色的小房子是我获得勇气的地方。

And I was surrounded by my sisters,

我的姐妹、母亲、

祖母、曾祖母包围着我，

my mother, my grandmother,

my great grandmother, all pushing me forward.

并都在推动我前进。

Great leaders are not produced through the number of titles

伟大的领导者不是 通过他们拥有的头衔

or degrees that they have,

或学位的数量来培养的，

but through life experiences,

而是通过生活经历，

through the distance traveled,

通过他们走过的路程，

the tables they sit,

所坐的桌子

the conversations they have,

参与的对话

and what ensues in those conversations.

以及对话中发生的事情来衡量的。

I learned from my time in that pink house

我从在那栋粉色房子里度过的时光中了解到

that for some of us, it starts early on.

对于我们中的一些人来说，这很早就开始了。

For others, though, the title may just be woman.

但是，对于其他人来说，头衔可能只是女性。

Remember, fearlessness, grit and resilience.

记住，无所畏惧、勇气和韧性。

And that you are enough.

而且这样的你已经足够了。

Thank you very much.

非常感谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）