Why paternity leave benefits everyone | The Way We Work, a TED series

- I remember the day:

my wife was three months pregnant,

and I knew that I wanted to take time off.

But when I walked in to ask my boss,

I was so nervous.

I was about to ask for seven months of paternity leave,

and I just didn't know how my boss would react to that.

(machine whirs) (playful music)

(drawer thuds)

Like most men in Japan,

I grew up being told that masculinity

is supposed to look a certain way.

You're supposed to be stoic and strong,

dominant and in control,

the breadwinner for your family.

But when I met my wife, she challenged me on that.

She pushed me on thinking

that men should always pay for dates,

on assuming that women should always do the childcare.

Japan offers both mothers and fathers,

12 months of paid parental leave.

It's been ranked number one in the world

in terms of length and compensation for paternity leave.

But here's the crazy thing:

In 2020, (footsteps patter)

only about 7% of fathers took it.

And of that 7%, 3/4 took a leave of two weeks or less.

With pressure at work,

most Japanese men just aren't at home

during this pivotal time.

And that's a shame,

because paternity leave, it benefits everyone.

Here is why normalizing it is so important:

I believe deeply in gender equality.

I took my wife's last name,

and even wrote a book about it.

And still, I was terrified asking for paternity leave.

I'd heard of bosses denying the request,

or questioning their employee's masculinity.

I was scared that, in asking for time off,

I might be replaced or left behind.

But my boss, he accepted my request right away,

which made me feel so valued,

and it let me focus on what was most important:

my family. (gentle piano music)

I can't describe how much joy I got

seeing my newborn son each day.

I especially loved my early morning shift with him,

so his mom could sleep in.

When he was a newborn, (birds chirping)

we'd just cuddle on the couch.

And when he got a little bigger,

he became my best workout buddy,

as a cheerleader during my morning runs,

in his stroller. (stroller wheels rattle)

Or, as a human dumbbell for squats and biceps curls.

I feel so close to my son now.

And it's not just me;

men who take paternity leave experience a stronger bond

with their babies.

Research shows that the longer the paternity leave,

the more engaged the father is

in the first few years of a child's life.

I was shocked to learn that over half

of all US fathers report feeling dissatisfied

with the amount of time they spend with their children.

Paternity leave is a chance to change that.

My relationship with my wife also deepened on my leave.

We went on a walk together every day,

and I became a better cook and cleaner

because I was able to spend more time

on household duties, (contents glub)

which made her happy. (steam hisses)

In a McKinsey & Company survey,

90% of fathers who took paternity leave

say it improved their relationship, too.

This happens along a few different dimensions:

First, because you gain a whole new respect

for what's involved in childcare and housework,

and it makes you step up and take on more.

And by being home, you're providing emotional support.

Statistics show (steam hisses)

that when a mother's partner is involved,

especially in the first few weeks after birth,

it reduces the risk of postpartum depression significantly.

But this is really just the start,

because paternity leave is also good for business.

Paternity leave can have a profound impact

on gender equality in the workforce.

There is an inherent imbalance

if women take childcare leave, and men don't.

Working mothers are often juggling two full-time jobs,

one at work, and one at home. (keys clack)

Many don't return to the workforce

or decide to take reduced roles.

(baby cries) By taking paternity leave,

(alarm clock rings)

men can give women more options,

and even boost their ability to rise into leadership roles.

A study in Sweden showed that for every month

of parental leave taken by the father,

the mother's earnings increased by approximately 7%.

It's interesting to note that 90% of female students

in Japan say they'd want their future partner

to take parental leave,

and nearly 80% of men entering the workforce here,

and I suspect in other countries too,

say they want to take paternity leave.

For employers to have that open, inclusive culture

where paternity leave is respected,

that can help companies attract and retain the best talent.

Workers are increasingly choosing the companies

based on the culture.

This is a space where any company

can give themselves a boost.

I've been back at my job for about three months now,

and I can already tell you, I feel so much more productive.

I'm very focused, (employees chatter)

and always looking for ways to be more efficient,

so I can get home to my family.

I've heard this from many mothers coming back

from maternity leave, too.

And studies confirm.

80% of companies that offer paid family leave

report a positive impact on morale,

and 70% notice a boost in productivity.

It's a positive for any company.

And that brings me to my final point:

Paternity leave, it's good for society.

Paternity leave is one of the big steps we can make

in giving partners the opportunity to share their work,

both at home and at work.

It's one of our best bets to bridge the gender gap, overall.

Research shows that when that gender gap gets smaller,

people report higher life satisfaction.

(people cheer)

Iceland, Norway, and Finland rank top three

in the Global Gender Gap Index,

and over 70% of fathers take paternity leave.

And if you take a look at their ranking

in the World Happiness Report,

they're very, very high.

This might be a coincidence,

but I don't think so.

That freedom to be yourself

and make choices without gender expectations,

it feels really good.

We live in a patriarchy, and what I've realized

is that the same world that systematically favors men,

it's also trapping us in a cage.

We need more countries to set up systems

that allow all parents to take paid childcare leave,

to give everyone new options.

We need to build a culture

that encourages and values men as caretakers,

because we can do it too.

(gentle music)