How to make GREAT Small Talk | English Conversation Practice

3,018,388 views ・ 2019-11-15

mmmEnglish


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

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Hey there I'm Emma from mmmEnglish!
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We're coming up to that time of year again when there
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are lots of events and celebrations
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that means lots of mingling, lots of chatting to people
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that you don't know and making small talk.
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It happens at work,
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at gatherings with friends or friends of friends and
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families of friends,
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neighbours, even people that you bump into in the lift.
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We've got to practise these skills.
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With small talk, we can build rapport
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with our colleagues, make new friends
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and just generally feel more positive
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about the interactions that we have with other people.
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So today I'm going to take you through thirty questions
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to make small talk, to build to the confidence
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to start conversations in English.
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But before I do, I want to give a quick shout out
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I'll put the link to that in the description below.
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Small talk is an incredibly important function of English
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conversation. It's about comfort,
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it's about helping two people: you and
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the other person that you're talking to,
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to feel comfortable with each other.
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And the intention is to try and find some common
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interests, something that you can share together.
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So I want you to think of yourself as a detective.
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You're searching for some information and some clues
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to help you connect with someone, to find
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some common ground and some shared interests.
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A good way to approach small talk is to focus on a few
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broad categories:
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work,
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life,
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travel,
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food,
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and the weather.
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Now I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that
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about ninety per cent of all small talk conversations
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focus on these topics. Maybe even ninety five.
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But this is great because it allows us to focus on
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some really specific topics, right?
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And help you to prepare for conversations
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that you're very likely to actually experience.
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There's another thing that's useful to keep in mind
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with small talk and that's time.
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With all of these topics, we can ask questions
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that relate to the current situation now,
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any experience in the past or any future dreams
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or future plans, right?
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So pay close attention to the examples
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that I'm going to share because I'll be using
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some different time references in these questions.
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So let's get started with thirty questions
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to help you master small talk conversations.
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Starting with work. Now the most common question
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here is "What do you do?"
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So we're talking about now.
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What's their current job?
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Imagine that the person that you're talking to
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said they're a nurse but we want to ask some more
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detail, right? We want to find out how we can
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continue the conversation.
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So let's go back in time.
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What motivated you to become a nurse?
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Did you always want to be a nurse?
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What was your first-ever job? Did you like it?
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We can talk about the present as well.
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What does your typical work day look like?
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What do you love about your job?
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And you can get a little creative with some future
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questions as well.
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So is this your dream job
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or are you working towards something else?
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You want to be careful here that you don't say
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"working towards something bigger"
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or "something better"
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because it might be a little offensive, right?
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You're sort of saying that their job
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that they currently have isn't good enough.
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If money wasn't an issue, what job would you want?
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Some people might say that they don't want to work
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if they didn't have any issues with money, right?
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But you might have to rephrase that question and say
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"Well what would you do?"
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or "How would you spend your time?"
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Another really great small talk topic
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is just talking about life
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and there's a couple of ways that you can do this.
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You can pay attention to local news headlines,
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this is a really good way of, you know,
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finding things to talk about.
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Did you hear about
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the accident on the freeway last night?
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It sounded awful, I got stuck in traffic for over two hours
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Albeit you might end up talking a lot about
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all of the negative stuff that we see in the news, right?
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But you can also ask questions about what's happening
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in a person's life.
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So remember that your intention is to try and find some
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common interests right? Some things
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that you share, so that you can
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keep talking about those things together.
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Have you got much planned for the weekend?
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This is a great question, it's my go-to.
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Everyone loves talking about their plans on the weekend
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What do you like to do in your spare time?
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Now if they share something that you also like,
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that's great because you can keep talking about
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your shared interest
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or if they share something that you don't know anything
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about, ask them for more information.
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That's so interesting!
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I've never met anyone who keeps bees
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and makes their own honey.
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How much honey do you get each week?
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Have you ever been bitten by a bee?
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Is it easy to keep bees
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or do you have to be an expert?
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Have you read any good books lately?
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Have you seen any good movies?
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If you're a mum or you're a dad, you might even ask
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"So do you have any kids?"
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because this is a great way to connect with someone.
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You talk about your kid's
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ages, interests maybe even their naughty habits.
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Same thing with pets actually.
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Have you noticed that I've been using 'so' quite a bit
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to introduce a new idea to a conversation.
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This is really quite a natural way to introduce a new
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question. One that's unrelated to what you've been
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talking about previously.
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It's a really helpful conversation tool.
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So are you from here?
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This is a great question to help explore someone's
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past, go back in time.
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Where did you live before this?
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Is this city quite different to that city?
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Where did you grow up?
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Travel is a great small talk topic. It's something
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that we love talking about and we love sharing.
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So we can talk about our past experience
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or we can talk about travel plans and dreams
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for the future, right?
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If you're coming up to a holiday season
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you're heading into summer,
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then a great conversation starter is
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"So are you planning on getting away for the holidays?"
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Are you taking time off over Christmas?
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Or whatever holiday is coming up.
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But if it's not that time of year, you can easily
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start a conversation by introducing some context, right?
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By sharing your experience first
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and then inviting their input.
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So I've just got back from a trip to Japan.
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Have you ever been?
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Or maybe you might know something about
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their experience.
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You went to Peru last year, didn't you?
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I'm planning on taking my fiancee to South America
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in June. It's our first time
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and I'm not really sure
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which countries we're going to visit.
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Do you have any recommendations?
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Do you have any recommendations about which
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country to visit in South America?
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I am thinking about a trip next year.
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I love travelling.
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I hope to visit Kerala in the south of India
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at some point soon.
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What places are on your bucket list?
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I'm actually really keen to hear your answers
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to this question. What places are on your bucket list?
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What places are you dreaming about visiting?
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Make sure you let me know in the comments.
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Just like travel, food is another great small talk topic.
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It's something that we all have in common.
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We do it at least three times a day,
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so there are plenty of opportunities
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to start a conversation about food.
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I'm trying to decide where to go for lunch,
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do you know any good restaurants around here?
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I'm cooking lasagna for dinner tonight.
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What about you?
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Hey have you tried that new Thai restaurant
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on Church Street? I've heard it's amazing.
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Do you like Thai food?
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Now I just can't leave weather off the list.
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This is the absolute number one small talk topic.
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It can be used as a simple passing comment, right?
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It's a beautiful day today, isn't it?
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Can you believe all the rain we've been having lately?
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But you can also use the weather as a way to spark
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a conversation, by using it to introduce
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another topic or another activity.
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It's pouring out there! It's a shame I rode my bike today.
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How did you get to work?
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So there you have it! Thirty different questions, thirty
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ways to start a conversation with small talk in English.
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Now I'm going to set a little homework for you,
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a little challenge, okay?
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Because memorising and practising the questions
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that I've shared with you today is one thing,
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that's great practice but of course,
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what you need is to be ready to answer
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those questions as well
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so that you can keep the conversation going.
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So your homework is to think of your own answers
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to these questions too. Once you ask them
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and then you hear the answer, you want to be ready
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with your own experiences and your own opinions
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to share, right? To keep the small talk going.
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If you'd like me to make some conversation workouts
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about each of these topics just like this one,
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then make sure you tell me in the comments,
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that way we can practise asking questions
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and responding to them out loud together.
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We're going to focus on tone and pronunciation
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to help them come out really naturally.
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And don't forget to check out Lingoda,
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the link is in the description below.
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Remember to use my code to get 10 euros
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off your deposit, if you sign up before December 19th.
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You can find me on Facebook and on Instagram.
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If you don't follow me on Instagram yet
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then come and check it out, this is where I share
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a little bit of personal stuff about my life
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and about the amazing people that are in it.
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If you're ready to keep practising with me now,
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then come and check out these lessons here.
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I think you're going to love them. I'll see you in there.
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