The Rise of the "Trauma Essay" in College Applications | Tina Yong | TED

970,030 views ・ 2023-05-02

TED


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翻译人员: Yip Yan Yeung 校对人员: sylvia feng
00:03
There's a story of mine that I've told about a million different times,
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有一个故事我已经讲了几万遍,
00:07
and it goes a little something like this.
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故事是这样的。
00:10
When I was 10, my family and I packed up our entire lives into large suitcases
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我 10 岁的时候,我和我的家人 把我们的一切装入大行李箱,
00:16
and dragged them across the Pacific to a foreign land called Canada.
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拖过太平洋,来到了 这个名叫加拿大的异国他乡。
00:20
I was put in a school where I was the only Asian kid in my grade,
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我被送入了一所学校, 是这个年级中唯一一个亚洲小孩,
00:24
and I got teased for my broken English, Asian features
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我因为我支离破碎的英语、亚洲特色
00:27
and funny smelling ethnic lunches.
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和闻起来很奇怪的 民族风味餐受到嘲笑。
00:30
The racism was a real doozy.
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种族歧视真是很奇特。
00:32
But don't feel bad.
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但不要难过。
00:34
Through the magical healing powers of extracurricular activities
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通过课外活动的神奇治愈力
00:37
and pure perseverance,
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和坚持不懈,
00:39
I stand before you today, a new woman:
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我现在作为一名全新 的女性站在各位面前:
00:42
healthy, healed and extremely employable.
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我健康、痊愈、完全适宜雇用。
00:47
You wouldn't even be able to tell from just looking at me
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光从表面上看,你根本看不出
00:49
that I was once the weird little immigrant girl
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我曾经是个奇怪的移民小女孩,
00:52
who begged her mom to pack PB&J sandwiches
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求着妈妈做花生酱果酱三明治,
00:54
so she wouldn't have to eat lunch alone in the bathroom.
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这样她就可以不用 独自在卫生间里吃午餐了。
00:59
This is a story that I’ve told in academic essays, job interviews
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我在学校的作文里、求职面试中,
01:03
and even in the very application that got me into this fine university.
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甚至是把我送入这所优秀大学的 那一份申请中都说过这个故事。
01:08
It's also a story that, despite all of its truth,
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虽然这个故事说的都是事实,
01:12
I've come to hate.
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但它也是我讨厌的故事。
01:15
Now this is a story that I don't have copyright claim over.
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我对这个故事没有什么独家版权。
01:18
It's one that continues to be regurgitated by immigrant kids
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这个故事在全国各地的 移民儿童口中反复叙述,
01:22
all across the country
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01:24
to be served on a silver platter to prestigious universities
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它成为了顶级学府的敲门砖,
01:27
who chew these stories and spit out acceptance letters in return.
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这些学校细细品味这些故事, 再丢出录取信作为回报。
01:32
The contents of the story may change.
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故事的情节可能会有点差异。
01:34
Instead of a difficult immigration experience,
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如果不写艰难的移民经历,
01:36
it might be the death of a loved one, a chronic illness or a racist encounter.
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可能会写挚爱之人的逝去、 慢性疾病或者遭到种族歧视的经历。
01:42
But what remains constant is the moral:
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不变的就是这个道理:
01:45
A bad thing happened to me, but it made me a good person.
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我遭遇了不幸, 但不幸让我成为了一个好人。
01:51
This is part of a larger phenomenon that I'm here to talk about today.
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这是我今天要说的 一个更加普遍的现象的其中一部分。
01:54
The overwhelming pressure being put on high school students
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高中生在申请大学时需要
01:58
to write about their deepest traumas in their college applications
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描述最深的创伤,身负重压,
02:02
with the hopes that they seem resilient and interesting enough to be given a spot.
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还要抱着他们显得坚韧不拔、 很有趣、值得被录取的希望。
02:07
I believe that these are not only bad metrics
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我相信这不仅仅是 评判申请人的不良标准,
02:10
by which to evaluate applicants,
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02:12
but also incredibly harmful to the storyteller themselves
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还会对故事作者造成巨大的伤害,
02:16
and risks reinforcing existing inequities in higher education.
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有加深高等教育中 既有的不平等现象的风险。
02:20
There's also pressure that's being amplified
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招生顾问本身也在加重这种压力,
02:23
by admissions counselors themselves
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02:25
who play a huge role in influencing what applicants decide to write about.
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他们会深深影响 申请人想写什么内容。
02:29
Take, for example, this tip from the MIT admissions blog,
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比如,麻省理工的招生博客中 有这么一条小提示,
02:32
where the author compares two different introductions for a potential essay.
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作者对比了一篇作文中可能采用的 两种不同的开头方式。
02:36
The first one reads:
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第一种是这样的:
02:37
"I'm honored to apply for the Master of Library Science program
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“我有幸能申请奥科博吉大学的 图书馆学硕士项目。
02:41
at the University of Okoboji.
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02:42
For as long as I can remember, I've had a love affair with books.
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从我记事起, 我就对书籍心心念念。
02:46
Since I was 11, I've wanted to be a librarian."
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我从 11 岁起, 就一直想成为一名图书管理员。”
02:49
The second introduction reads:
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第二种开头是这样的:
02:51
"When I was 11,
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“在我 11 岁的时候,
02:52
my great aunt Gretchen passed away
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我的姑姑格雷琴去世了,
02:54
and left me something that changed my life:
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她为我留下了改变我一生的东西:
02:57
a library of about 5000 books.
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包含约五千册书的图书馆。
02:59
Some of my best days were spent arranging and reading her books.
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我最开心的日子就是 整理、阅读她的书。
03:04
Since then, I've wanted to become a librarian."
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从那时起,我就一直 想成为一名图书管理员。”
03:07
The author notes that the second introduction
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作者说,第二段开头
03:10
is much more striking and leaves a much better impression.
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更直击心灵, 可以给读者留下更好的印象。
03:14
Consider another tip from collegeessayguy.com,
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来看 collegeessayguy.com 网站的另一条提示,
03:18
where he advises students to “get personal.”
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作者建议学生“说点私事”。
03:21
He says, "Weirdly, including painful memories
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他说:“奇怪的是 如果你写了一些痛苦的回忆,
03:25
and what you learned from them
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还有你从中得到的收获,
03:26
usually helps a personal statement
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通常就能让你的个人陈述
03:28
meet the goals of a college application essay.
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达到大学申请作文的目标。
03:30
You come off as humble, accessible, likable and mature.”
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经历了这些,你谦逊、 平易近人、讨人喜欢、成熟。”
03:36
Confessions from admissions officers themselves can also be telling.
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招生官的坦言也说明了问题。
03:40
Aya Waller-Bey, a former admissions officer
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阿雅·沃勒-贝(Aya Waller-Bey), 曾担任乔治城大学的招生官,
03:42
from Georgetown University,
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03:43
said in a "Forbes" article that,
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在《福布斯》杂志的一篇文章中写道:
03:46
"Within months on the job, I saw how the personal statements
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“我在这个岗位上工作了几个月, 我看到了黑人学生和
03:49
of Black and other racially minoritized students
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其他种族少数的学生的个人陈述
03:51
differed from those of white applicants.
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和白人学生的文章有多大区别。
03:54
Black students highlighted resilience through stories of survival,
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黑人学生通过他们的生存故事 彰显他们的坚韧不拔,
03:58
while their counterparts wrote casual essays about service abroad
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白人学生就会随便写一些出国服役
04:01
and sporting championships.
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或顶尖的体育成绩。
04:03
Black students shared their pain,
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黑人学生传达他们的痛苦,
04:05
white students shared their passions.”
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而白人学生传达他们的激情。”
04:09
Now, lastly, and perhaps the least reliable source is my own life.
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最后一个,也有可能是最不靠谱的 依据,就是我自己的人生。
04:13
I remember feeling this way when I was applying to universities.
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我记得我申请大学时的这种感觉。
04:17
Like I had no other choice, no other experiences worthy of mentioning
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就像我没有别的选择, 没有其他值得一提的经历,
04:21
and no other merit beyond the fact
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除了“我虽然经历了这些 但我挺过来了”以外
04:23
that I had thrived despite what I had gone through.
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没有任何优点。
04:27
I even remember worrying that my tale wouldn't be harrowing enough
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我甚至担心我的故事还不够惨,
04:31
after hearing from a counselor
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因为一位顾问告诉我
04:33
that writing about immigration has become a bit of a cliche
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移民的故事有点太老套了,
04:37
because of how overused it is.
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这种故事说得太多了。
04:40
So what’s the universities’ role in all of this
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那大学在其中扮演着什么角色呢?
04:44
and why are these stories even harmful to begin with?
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到底为什么这些故事很伤人呢?
04:47
Well, I believe that using your college application essay
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我认为通过你的大学申请作文
04:51
to discuss your trauma
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讲述你的创伤
04:52
actually doesn't help you process it.
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其实并不会帮你排解它。
04:55
And there are a couple different reasons why.
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这有几个原因。
04:58
First, writing about a difficult experience is,
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第一,写下你的痛苦经历,
05:02
as you may have guessed, difficult.
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你也能猜到,是痛苦的。
05:05
Not only do you have to relive the event itself,
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你不仅需要重现这个情景,
05:07
but you also have to actively suppress any negative emotions
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还得主动压抑在此过程中 产生的负面情绪。
05:11
that arise during the process.
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05:13
That kind of emotional labor can be taxing for anybody,
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这种情绪劳动对每个人都是繁重的,
05:17
but perhaps especially so
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尤其是对于年轻的申请人来说,
05:19
for these young applicants who haven't had enough time on this world
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他们在这个世上 还没有足够的经验
05:23
to process the terrible things that have happened to them.
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处理眼前的糟心事。
05:25
For that space to be one in which they're confessing to a faceless stranger
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他们得对未曾谋面的 陌生人袒露心声,
05:30
who gets to make the most consequential decision
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这个陌生人还会 为他们的青少年人生
05:32
of their adolescent life
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做出最重要的决定,
05:34
imposes an incredibly heavy psychological burden.
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这就为他们带来了巨大的心理负担。
05:37
I mean, imagine if you walked into your therapy appointment
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想象一下你去接受治疗,
05:40
and your therapist tells you
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治疗师告诉你
05:42
that they're not going to respond to anything you tell them
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不管你说什么, 他/她都不会有任何反应,
05:45
except with a rejection or acceptance email sent months later.
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只会在几个月后给你发一封 拒信或者录取邮件。
05:48
And also that whatever you tell them
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你告诉他们的内容
05:50
will determine the trajectory of your entire academic and professional career.
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会决定你未来所有学业和 职业发展的轨迹。
05:56
Hard to imagine that being therapeutic.
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这哪能算是治疗啊。
05:58
Secondly, the trauma essay makes one assumption
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第二,创伤作文有一个
06:01
that is extremely problematic.
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很有问题的预设。
06:03
It's not always the learning opportunity
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它不可能永远是个学习的机会,
06:05
through which you can gain more confidence or develop better time management skills.
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让你借此取得更多的自信或者 培养更好的时间管理能力。
06:10
Sometimes it's just a sucky thing that really sucks.
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有些烂事就是烂事。
06:14
And asking students to prove how they turn their pain into progress
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让学生证明他们是如何 化痛苦为成长
06:18
ignores this truth and falls prey to the toxic positivity narrative
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无视了这个事实, 也陷入了这种有毒的正能量故事,
06:23
that everything happens for a reason,
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即万物皆有因,
06:25
ignoring the very valid resentment and anger that many victims still feel.
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无视了很多受害者仍不能释怀的 非常正当的怨恨和愤怒。
06:32
Lastly, the things we write aren't just informed by our experiences,
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最后一点,我们写下的内容 不仅仅来源于我们的经历,
06:36
they shape how we view those experiences as well.
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还会影响我们对这些经历的看法。
06:40
And if we're writing about our trauma to prove to an admissions officer
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如果我们写下自己的创伤, 是为了向招生官证明
06:43
that we are worthy of a decent education,
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我们值得接受优质教育,
06:46
then it becomes necessary to sanitize our pain,
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那就有必要净化痛苦、
06:50
to make it marketable and strategic,
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让它很有市场、很有技巧、
06:52
to scrub away all the suffering,
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抹消所有的磨难,
06:54
so all that's left is what will fit
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这样剩下的就是符合
06:56
into the narrow margins of what is palatable.
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“喜闻乐见”这一有限范围内的内容。
07:00
And this is what I see as being the fundamental contradiction
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这就是我认为创伤作文 最核心的矛盾之处。
07:03
at the heart of the trauma essay.
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07:06
It seems to give the writer free reign on vulnerability,
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看似是让作者自由支配自己的脆弱,
07:09
but actually leaves them very little room to be vulnerable.
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实则只为他们的脆弱 留下了一隅之地。
07:13
Your story has to be just sad enough that it gains sympathy,
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你的故事得正好悲惨到 足以引发同情,
07:17
but not so sad that it makes you seem beyond help.
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但不能悲惨到显得你无可救药。
07:20
Just critical enough to inspire change,
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你的批判性想法 得正好足以促成改变,
07:23
but not so much that it actually criticizes systemic structures.
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但不能过火到批判系统结构。
07:28
Just honest enough to seem real,
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诚实到显得很真实,
07:31
but not so unfiltered that it creates discomfort.
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但不能放飞到造成不适。
07:36
The protagonist also overcomes whatever struggle they're facing
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故事的主角得在 500 字结束之前
07:40
by the end of the 500 word count,
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克服他们眼前的困难,
07:42
instilling the reader with a sense of optimism
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向读者传递乐观的情绪,
07:44
that despite our deeply unequal society,
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认为就算我们的社会严重不平等,
07:47
it is possible to rise through the ranks and overcome all the “-isms.”
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依旧有可能提高地位, 克服各种“主义”。
07:52
This, of course, is not the reality of our world today.
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这当然不是当今世界中的现实情况。
07:56
And for me, this looked like settling
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对我来说,这就像是自己咽下
07:58
for the familiar story of the stinky lunch,
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我刚说的恶心午餐的故事,
08:01
one that's been told so many times that it's devoid of any real meaning,
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翻来覆去都说烂了, 还没有任何真正的意义,
08:05
instead of talking
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却没有人去讨论
08:06
about the ongoing social and political disenfranchisement of immigrants,
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当下剥夺移民的 社会、政治权利问题,
08:10
the permanent loss of cultural identity that I suffered,
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我永远痛失文化身份的问题,
08:14
or the sense of disbelonging that still haunts me
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或是缺乏归属感问题,
08:17
every time I make a grammar mistake or someone mispronounces my name.
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每当我犯了个语法错误,或者有人 读错我的名字时就会涌上我的心头。
08:21
These are all struggles that never really go away,
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这些都是无法排遣的痛苦,
08:25
but are carefully tucked away in my essay
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但在作文中,我都得 小心翼翼地把它们藏起来,
08:27
because they don't fit the linear narrative
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因为它们无法融入 精心打造的流畅故事线里。
08:30
that is being constructed.
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08:33
But how are universities to blame for all of this?
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大学应该为此负什么责任呢?
08:36
I mean, they never explicitly asked students
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它们从来没有明确要求学生
08:38
to trauma-dump in their essays,
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在作文里大倒苦水,
08:40
and many admissions experts have actually come out
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有很多招生专家其实站出来
08:42
and discouraged discussing explicit trauma in essays.
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劝阻学生在作文里谈及明确的创伤。
08:47
However, I still don't think that universities are blameless.
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但我不认为大学是无辜的。
08:51
The reason why the trauma essay is so ubiquitous
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创伤作文之所以大行其道
08:54
is because it seems to be working.
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是因为它似乎很有效。
08:59
Anne Trubek, who helped low-income high school students at Oberlin College
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安妮·特鲁贝克(Anne Trubek) 帮助欧柏林学院的低收入高中生
09:03
write their essays,
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撰写作文,
09:05
expresses the ethical dilemma that she faces.
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她说出了她面临的道德困境。
09:07
"By pushing students to reveal their horror stories,
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“要是我鼓励学生 展示他们可怕的故事,
09:10
I risk taking away their dignity,
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我就冒着夺走他们尊严的风险,
09:12
but by not pushing, I could be hindering their chances
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但如果我没有鼓励他们这么做,
我就在阻碍他们
09:15
of getting into their dream school."
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被梦校录取的机会。”
09:19
Whether trauma essays and acceptance letters
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创伤作文和录取信
09:21
are actually causally correlated
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有没有严密的因果关系,
09:23
is impossible to tell from the outside.
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从外部来看是无法断言的。
09:26
So this could all just be speculation and myth.
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所以我们只能通过推断或者流言判断。
09:29
But in failing to resolutely clear up these speculations and myths
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但是,大学并没有 坚决清除这些推测和流言,
09:33
about whether trauma essays are rewarded or discouraged,
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讨论它们到底鼓励还是 不鼓励写创伤作文,
09:37
universities are indirectly enabling the rise of the trauma essay
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所以它们间接导致了创伤作文
09:40
and all of its harmful implications.
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和后续伤害的层出不穷。
09:45
So what are they to do about all of this?
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那它们该做些什么呢?
09:47
Well, first of all, I think that this is a problem that goes much deeper
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首先,我认为这不仅仅是
09:51
than individual universities,
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某个大学的问题,
09:52
and even perhaps the institution of higher education itself.
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甚至不是高等教育体系本身的问题。
09:57
It's rooted in the cultural obsession with appropriating trauma
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它归根结底来源于挪用创伤、
让它为人津津乐道的文化执念,
10:01
and making it consumable,
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10:03
as well as the systemic tendency
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还有一个系统上的习惯,
10:05
to tokenize oppressed people and their experiences.
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总是想标签化这些受压迫 的人和他们的经历。
10:09
But there are still things
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但为了改善这个局面, 还是有大学能做的事的。
10:10
that universities can do to make things better.
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10:14
First, they can be more transparent about their admissions guidelines.
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首先,它们可以让招生标准 更加公开透明。
10:18
If it's really true that they don't want to reward trauma storytelling
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如果它们确实不想 奖励无谓的创伤故事,
10:21
just for the sake of it,
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10:23
then they should be more forthcoming about this expectation.
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那就应该更直接地表明这个要求。
10:26
They could also restructure their prompts
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它们也可以重新组织一下题目,
10:28
to avoid putting pressure on students
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避免给学生施加压力,
10:30
to talk about past hardships and adversities
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谈论过往的艰难和困境,
10:33
and instead refocus prompts
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而是将题目聚焦在
10:35
to ask students about their goals for the future
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要求学生谈一谈对未来的目标
10:37
and their academic interests.
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和学术兴趣。
10:40
Secondly, admissions counselors should be trauma-informed
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第二,招生顾问在与黑人、原住民 和有色人种(BIPOC)交流时,
10:43
and trained in working with BIPOC folk.
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应更了解他们的创伤, 更加训练有素。
10:46
As the unofficial gatekeepers
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作为保守踏入梦校秘密的 非官方守门人,
10:48
to the secrets of getting into your dream college,
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10:50
they should wield their power responsibly
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他们应该负责任地发挥他们的力量,
10:53
and not pressure students to talk about traumatic experiences
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不要逼迫学生说出 他们还没准备好谈论的创伤经历。
10:56
that they're not yet ready to talk about.
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10:59
Lastly -- and this one's for anyone who's actually applying
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最后,也送给每一位在不久的将来
11:02
to a postsecondary institution sometime soon --
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要申请高中后教育机会的申请人,
11:05
remember that you are more than the bad things that happened to you.
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记住,你身上发生的坏事 不是你的一切。
11:09
I know that when it seems like every other classmate of yours
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我知道,你的每个同学
11:12
is writing an essay that could be adapted for an HBO original drama,
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都在写那种可以改编成 HBO 原创电视剧的作文,
11:17
that you may feel like your experiences are not worth talking about.
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你可能会觉得你的经历 根本不值一提。
11:20
But I promise that they are.
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但我可以向你保证, 它们值得一提。
11:23
You just have to find your voice and use it.
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你只需要找到 你的发言权,去使用它。
11:28
Now as much as I don't want to live
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虽然我不想再经历
11:30
that nail-bitingly stressful time of my life ever again,
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那段神经紧绷的时光,
11:33
I can't help but wonder:
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但我不禁想:
11:35
what would I have written about
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如果我可以再申请一次 UBC (不列颠哥伦比亚大学),
11:37
if I got the chance to apply to UBC again?
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我会写些什么呢?
11:39
This time absent the pressure
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这次,不再有 巧妙利用我的移民背景
11:41
to strategically use my immigrant background
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11:43
to gain sympathy points.
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博取同情分的压力。
11:46
Maybe I would have written about how I overcame my fear of public speaking
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也许我可以写一写 我如何克服公开发言的恐惧,
11:52
and became comfortable with being the loudest voice in the room.
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适应成为在场最愿意发表意见的人。
11:56
Or I could have written about watching trashy reality television
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我也可以写一写 看很烂的真人秀
12:00
is what first sparked my interest in political science.
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是激起我对政治学的兴趣的 第一个火种。
12:04
Or maybe I still would have written about my immigrant story
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也许我还是可以写一写我的移民故事,
12:07
because that was a big part of my life journey
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但只是因为它是 我人生旅途中的一大篇章,
12:10
and still impacts me to this day.
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时至今日依然在影响着我。
12:12
But I would have done it on my own terms.
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但我会用我自己的方式 写下这个故事。
12:15
Instead of being written as a one-dimensional,
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我不会把它写成单一维度的、
12:17
trauma-turned-triumph trauma drama,
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“克服创伤,取得胜利”的创伤大戏,
12:21
I would have been able to tell a story that actually reflects who I am today
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而是让它讲述现在的我是谁,
12:26
and acknowledge the fact that my journey is ongoing
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证明我的旅程还在进行中,
12:30
and it doesn't begin or end with my racial identity.
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它不会因我的种族身份 开始或结束。
12:34
This is the kind of ownership
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这就是我希望每个人都能拥有的
12:36
that I wish for everyone to one day have over their story.
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对他们自己故事的主导权。
12:40
And now it's up for universities to decide whether they get to tell it.
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现在就取决于大学给不给他们机会 说出这个故事了。
12:45
Thank you.
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谢谢。
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