The Rise of the "Trauma Essay" in College Applications | Tina Yong | TED

翻译人员: Yip Yan Yeung 校对人员: sylvia feng

There's a story of mine that I've told about a million different times,

有一个故事我已经讲了几万遍，

and it goes a little something like this.

故事是这样的。

When I was 10, my family and I packed up our entire lives into large suitcases

我 10 岁的时候，我和我的家人 把我们的一切装入大行李箱，

and dragged them across the Pacific to a foreign land called Canada.

拖过太平洋，来到了 这个名叫加拿大的异国他乡。

I was put in a school where I was the only Asian kid in my grade,

我被送入了一所学校， 是这个年级中唯一一个亚洲小孩，

and I got teased for my broken English, Asian features

我因为我支离破碎的英语、亚洲特色

and funny smelling ethnic lunches.

和闻起来很奇怪的 民族风味餐受到嘲笑。

The racism was a real doozy.

种族歧视真是很奇特。

But don't feel bad.

但不要难过。

Through the magical healing powers of extracurricular activities

通过课外活动的神奇治愈力

and pure perseverance,

和坚持不懈，

I stand before you today, a new woman:

我现在作为一名全新 的女性站在各位面前：

healthy, healed and extremely employable.

我健康、痊愈、完全适宜雇用。

You wouldn't even be able to tell from just looking at me

光从表面上看，你根本看不出

that I was once the weird little immigrant girl

我曾经是个奇怪的移民小女孩，

who begged her mom to pack PB&J sandwiches

求着妈妈做花生酱果酱三明治，

so she wouldn't have to eat lunch alone in the bathroom.

这样她就可以不用 独自在卫生间里吃午餐了。

This is a story that I’ve told in academic essays, job interviews

我在学校的作文里、求职面试中，

and even in the very application that got me into this fine university.

甚至是把我送入这所优秀大学的 那一份申请中都说过这个故事。

It's also a story that, despite all of its truth,

虽然这个故事说的都是事实，

I've come to hate.

但它也是我讨厌的故事。

Now this is a story that I don't have copyright claim over.

我对这个故事没有什么独家版权。

It's one that continues to be regurgitated by immigrant kids

这个故事在全国各地的 移民儿童口中反复叙述，

all across the country

to be served on a silver platter to prestigious universities

它成为了顶级学府的敲门砖，

who chew these stories and spit out acceptance letters in return.

这些学校细细品味这些故事， 再丢出录取信作为回报。

The contents of the story may change.

故事的情节可能会有点差异。

Instead of a difficult immigration experience,

如果不写艰难的移民经历，

it might be the death of a loved one, a chronic illness or a racist encounter.

可能会写挚爱之人的逝去、 慢性疾病或者遭到种族歧视的经历。

But what remains constant is the moral:

不变的就是这个道理：

A bad thing happened to me, but it made me a good person.

我遭遇了不幸， 但不幸让我成为了一个好人。

This is part of a larger phenomenon that I'm here to talk about today.

这是我今天要说的 一个更加普遍的现象的其中一部分。

The overwhelming pressure being put on high school students

高中生在申请大学时需要

to write about their deepest traumas in their college applications

描述最深的创伤，身负重压，

with the hopes that they seem resilient and interesting enough to be given a spot.

还要抱着他们显得坚韧不拔、 很有趣、值得被录取的希望。

I believe that these are not only bad metrics

我相信这不仅仅是 评判申请人的不良标准，

by which to evaluate applicants,

but also incredibly harmful to the storyteller themselves

还会对故事作者造成巨大的伤害，

and risks reinforcing existing inequities in higher education.

有加深高等教育中 既有的不平等现象的风险。

There's also pressure that's being amplified

招生顾问本身也在加重这种压力，

by admissions counselors themselves

who play a huge role in influencing what applicants decide to write about.

他们会深深影响 申请人想写什么内容。

Take, for example, this tip from the MIT admissions blog,

比如，麻省理工的招生博客中 有这么一条小提示，

where the author compares two different introductions for a potential essay.

作者对比了一篇作文中可能采用的 两种不同的开头方式。

The first one reads:

第一种是这样的：

"I'm honored to apply for the Master of Library Science program

“我有幸能申请奥科博吉大学的 图书馆学硕士项目。

at the University of Okoboji.

For as long as I can remember, I've had a love affair with books.

从我记事起， 我就对书籍心心念念。

Since I was 11, I've wanted to be a librarian."

我从 11 岁起， 就一直想成为一名图书管理员。”

The second introduction reads:

第二种开头是这样的：

"When I was 11,

“在我 11 岁的时候，

my great aunt Gretchen passed away

我的姑姑格雷琴去世了，

and left me something that changed my life:

她为我留下了改变我一生的东西：

a library of about 5000 books.

包含约五千册书的图书馆。

Some of my best days were spent arranging and reading her books.

我最开心的日子就是 整理、阅读她的书。

Since then, I've wanted to become a librarian."

从那时起，我就一直 想成为一名图书管理员。”

The author notes that the second introduction

作者说，第二段开头

is much more striking and leaves a much better impression.

更直击心灵， 可以给读者留下更好的印象。

Consider another tip from collegeessayguy.com,

来看 collegeessayguy.com 网站的另一条提示，

where he advises students to “get personal.”

作者建议学生“说点私事”。

He says, "Weirdly, including painful memories

他说：“奇怪的是 如果你写了一些痛苦的回忆，

and what you learned from them

还有你从中得到的收获，

usually helps a personal statement

通常就能让你的个人陈述

meet the goals of a college application essay.

达到大学申请作文的目标。

You come off as humble, accessible, likable and mature.”

经历了这些，你谦逊、 平易近人、讨人喜欢、成熟。”

Confessions from admissions officers themselves can also be telling.

招生官的坦言也说明了问题。

Aya Waller-Bey, a former admissions officer

阿雅·沃勒-贝（Aya Waller-Bey）， 曾担任乔治城大学的招生官，

from Georgetown University,

said in a "Forbes" article that,

在《福布斯》杂志的一篇文章中写道：

"Within months on the job, I saw how the personal statements

“我在这个岗位上工作了几个月， 我看到了黑人学生和

of Black and other racially minoritized students

其他种族少数的学生的个人陈述

differed from those of white applicants.

和白人学生的文章有多大区别。

Black students highlighted resilience through stories of survival,

黑人学生通过他们的生存故事 彰显他们的坚韧不拔，

while their counterparts wrote casual essays about service abroad

白人学生就会随便写一些出国服役

and sporting championships.

或顶尖的体育成绩。

Black students shared their pain,

黑人学生传达他们的痛苦，

white students shared their passions.”

而白人学生传达他们的激情。”

Now, lastly, and perhaps the least reliable source is my own life.

最后一个，也有可能是最不靠谱的 依据，就是我自己的人生。

I remember feeling this way when I was applying to universities.

我记得我申请大学时的这种感觉。

Like I had no other choice, no other experiences worthy of mentioning

就像我没有别的选择， 没有其他值得一提的经历，

and no other merit beyond the fact

除了“我虽然经历了这些 但我挺过来了”以外

that I had thrived despite what I had gone through.

没有任何优点。

I even remember worrying that my tale wouldn't be harrowing enough

我甚至担心我的故事还不够惨，

after hearing from a counselor

因为一位顾问告诉我

that writing about immigration has become a bit of a cliche

移民的故事有点太老套了，

because of how overused it is.

这种故事说得太多了。

So what’s the universities’ role in all of this

那大学在其中扮演着什么角色呢？

and why are these stories even harmful to begin with?

到底为什么这些故事很伤人呢？

Well, I believe that using your college application essay

我认为通过你的大学申请作文

to discuss your trauma

讲述你的创伤

actually doesn't help you process it.

其实并不会帮你排解它。

And there are a couple different reasons why.

这有几个原因。

First, writing about a difficult experience is,

第一，写下你的痛苦经历，

as you may have guessed, difficult.

你也能猜到，是痛苦的。

Not only do you have to relive the event itself,

你不仅需要重现这个情景，

but you also have to actively suppress any negative emotions

还得主动压抑在此过程中 产生的负面情绪。

that arise during the process.

That kind of emotional labor can be taxing for anybody,

这种情绪劳动对每个人都是繁重的，

but perhaps especially so

尤其是对于年轻的申请人来说，

for these young applicants who haven't had enough time on this world

他们在这个世上 还没有足够的经验

to process the terrible things that have happened to them.

处理眼前的糟心事。

For that space to be one in which they're confessing to a faceless stranger

他们得对未曾谋面的 陌生人袒露心声，

who gets to make the most consequential decision

这个陌生人还会 为他们的青少年人生

of their adolescent life

做出最重要的决定，

imposes an incredibly heavy psychological burden.

这就为他们带来了巨大的心理负担。

I mean, imagine if you walked into your therapy appointment

想象一下你去接受治疗，

and your therapist tells you

治疗师告诉你

that they're not going to respond to anything you tell them

不管你说什么， 他/她都不会有任何反应，

except with a rejection or acceptance email sent months later.

只会在几个月后给你发一封 拒信或者录取邮件。

And also that whatever you tell them

你告诉他们的内容

will determine the trajectory of your entire academic and professional career.

会决定你未来所有学业和 职业发展的轨迹。

Hard to imagine that being therapeutic.

这哪能算是治疗啊。

Secondly, the trauma essay makes one assumption

第二，创伤作文有一个

that is extremely problematic.

很有问题的预设。

It's not always the learning opportunity

它不可能永远是个学习的机会，

through which you can gain more confidence or develop better time management skills.

让你借此取得更多的自信或者 培养更好的时间管理能力。

Sometimes it's just a sucky thing that really sucks.

有些烂事就是烂事。

And asking students to prove how they turn their pain into progress

让学生证明他们是如何 化痛苦为成长

ignores this truth and falls prey to the toxic positivity narrative

无视了这个事实， 也陷入了这种有毒的正能量故事，

that everything happens for a reason,

即万物皆有因，

ignoring the very valid resentment and anger that many victims still feel.

无视了很多受害者仍不能释怀的 非常正当的怨恨和愤怒。

Lastly, the things we write aren't just informed by our experiences,

最后一点，我们写下的内容 不仅仅来源于我们的经历，

they shape how we view those experiences as well.

还会影响我们对这些经历的看法。

And if we're writing about our trauma to prove to an admissions officer

如果我们写下自己的创伤， 是为了向招生官证明

that we are worthy of a decent education,

我们值得接受优质教育，

then it becomes necessary to sanitize our pain,

那就有必要净化痛苦、

to make it marketable and strategic,

让它很有市场、很有技巧、

to scrub away all the suffering,

抹消所有的磨难，

so all that's left is what will fit

这样剩下的就是符合

into the narrow margins of what is palatable.

“喜闻乐见”这一有限范围内的内容。

And this is what I see as being the fundamental contradiction

这就是我认为创伤作文 最核心的矛盾之处。

at the heart of the trauma essay.

It seems to give the writer free reign on vulnerability,

看似是让作者自由支配自己的脆弱，

but actually leaves them very little room to be vulnerable.

实则只为他们的脆弱 留下了一隅之地。

Your story has to be just sad enough that it gains sympathy,

你的故事得正好悲惨到 足以引发同情，

but not so sad that it makes you seem beyond help.

但不能悲惨到显得你无可救药。

Just critical enough to inspire change,

你的批判性想法 得正好足以促成改变，

but not so much that it actually criticizes systemic structures.

但不能过火到批判系统结构。

Just honest enough to seem real,

诚实到显得很真实，

but not so unfiltered that it creates discomfort.

但不能放飞到造成不适。

The protagonist also overcomes whatever struggle they're facing

故事的主角得在 500 字结束之前

by the end of the 500 word count,

克服他们眼前的困难，

instilling the reader with a sense of optimism

向读者传递乐观的情绪，

that despite our deeply unequal society,

认为就算我们的社会严重不平等，

it is possible to rise through the ranks and overcome all the “-isms.”

依旧有可能提高地位， 克服各种“主义”。

This, of course, is not the reality of our world today.

这当然不是当今世界中的现实情况。

And for me, this looked like settling

对我来说，这就像是自己咽下

for the familiar story of the stinky lunch,

我刚说的恶心午餐的故事，

one that's been told so many times that it's devoid of any real meaning,

翻来覆去都说烂了， 还没有任何真正的意义，

instead of talking

却没有人去讨论

about the ongoing social and political disenfranchisement of immigrants,

当下剥夺移民的 社会、政治权利问题，

the permanent loss of cultural identity that I suffered,

我永远痛失文化身份的问题，

or the sense of disbelonging that still haunts me

或是缺乏归属感问题，

every time I make a grammar mistake or someone mispronounces my name.

每当我犯了个语法错误，或者有人 读错我的名字时就会涌上我的心头。

These are all struggles that never really go away,

这些都是无法排遣的痛苦，

but are carefully tucked away in my essay

但在作文中，我都得 小心翼翼地把它们藏起来，

because they don't fit the linear narrative

因为它们无法融入 精心打造的流畅故事线里。

that is being constructed.

But how are universities to blame for all of this?

大学应该为此负什么责任呢？

I mean, they never explicitly asked students

它们从来没有明确要求学生

to trauma-dump in their essays,

在作文里大倒苦水，

and many admissions experts have actually come out

有很多招生专家其实站出来

and discouraged discussing explicit trauma in essays.

劝阻学生在作文里谈及明确的创伤。

However, I still don't think that universities are blameless.

但我不认为大学是无辜的。

The reason why the trauma essay is so ubiquitous

创伤作文之所以大行其道

is because it seems to be working.

是因为它似乎很有效。

Anne Trubek, who helped low-income high school students at Oberlin College

安妮·特鲁贝克（Anne Trubek） 帮助欧柏林学院的低收入高中生

write their essays,

撰写作文，

expresses the ethical dilemma that she faces.

她说出了她面临的道德困境。

"By pushing students to reveal their horror stories,

“要是我鼓励学生 展示他们可怕的故事，

I risk taking away their dignity,

我就冒着夺走他们尊严的风险，

but by not pushing, I could be hindering their chances

但如果我没有鼓励他们这么做，

我就在阻碍他们

of getting into their dream school."

被梦校录取的机会。”

Whether trauma essays and acceptance letters

创伤作文和录取信

are actually causally correlated

有没有严密的因果关系，

is impossible to tell from the outside.

从外部来看是无法断言的。

So this could all just be speculation and myth.

所以我们只能通过推断或者流言判断。

But in failing to resolutely clear up these speculations and myths

但是，大学并没有 坚决清除这些推测和流言，

about whether trauma essays are rewarded or discouraged,

讨论它们到底鼓励还是 不鼓励写创伤作文，

universities are indirectly enabling the rise of the trauma essay

所以它们间接导致了创伤作文

and all of its harmful implications.

和后续伤害的层出不穷。

So what are they to do about all of this?

那它们该做些什么呢？

Well, first of all, I think that this is a problem that goes much deeper

首先，我认为这不仅仅是

than individual universities,

某个大学的问题，

and even perhaps the institution of higher education itself.

甚至不是高等教育体系本身的问题。

It's rooted in the cultural obsession with appropriating trauma

它归根结底来源于挪用创伤、

让它为人津津乐道的文化执念，

and making it consumable,

as well as the systemic tendency

还有一个系统上的习惯，

to tokenize oppressed people and their experiences.

总是想标签化这些受压迫 的人和他们的经历。

But there are still things

但为了改善这个局面， 还是有大学能做的事的。

that universities can do to make things better.

First, they can be more transparent about their admissions guidelines.

首先，它们可以让招生标准 更加公开透明。

If it's really true that they don't want to reward trauma storytelling

如果它们确实不想 奖励无谓的创伤故事，

just for the sake of it,

then they should be more forthcoming about this expectation.

那就应该更直接地表明这个要求。

They could also restructure their prompts

它们也可以重新组织一下题目，

to avoid putting pressure on students

避免给学生施加压力，

to talk about past hardships and adversities

谈论过往的艰难和困境，

and instead refocus prompts

而是将题目聚焦在

to ask students about their goals for the future

要求学生谈一谈对未来的目标

and their academic interests.

和学术兴趣。

Secondly, admissions counselors should be trauma-informed

第二，招生顾问在与黑人、原住民 和有色人种（BIPOC）交流时，

and trained in working with BIPOC folk.

应更了解他们的创伤， 更加训练有素。

As the unofficial gatekeepers

作为保守踏入梦校秘密的 非官方守门人，

to the secrets of getting into your dream college,

they should wield their power responsibly

他们应该负责任地发挥他们的力量，

and not pressure students to talk about traumatic experiences

不要逼迫学生说出 他们还没准备好谈论的创伤经历。

that they're not yet ready to talk about.

Lastly -- and this one's for anyone who's actually applying

最后，也送给每一位在不久的将来

to a postsecondary institution sometime soon --

要申请高中后教育机会的申请人，

remember that you are more than the bad things that happened to you.

记住，你身上发生的坏事 不是你的一切。

I know that when it seems like every other classmate of yours

我知道，你的每个同学

is writing an essay that could be adapted for an HBO original drama,

都在写那种可以改编成 HBO 原创电视剧的作文，

that you may feel like your experiences are not worth talking about.

你可能会觉得你的经历 根本不值一提。

But I promise that they are.

但我可以向你保证， 它们值得一提。

You just have to find your voice and use it.

你只需要找到 你的发言权，去使用它。

Now as much as I don't want to live

虽然我不想再经历

that nail-bitingly stressful time of my life ever again,

那段神经紧绷的时光，

I can't help but wonder:

但我不禁想：

what would I have written about

如果我可以再申请一次 UBC （不列颠哥伦比亚大学），

if I got the chance to apply to UBC again?

我会写些什么呢？

This time absent the pressure

这次，不再有 巧妙利用我的移民背景

to strategically use my immigrant background

to gain sympathy points.

博取同情分的压力。

Maybe I would have written about how I overcame my fear of public speaking

也许我可以写一写 我如何克服公开发言的恐惧，

and became comfortable with being the loudest voice in the room.

适应成为在场最愿意发表意见的人。

Or I could have written about watching trashy reality television

我也可以写一写 看很烂的真人秀

is what first sparked my interest in political science.

是激起我对政治学的兴趣的 第一个火种。

Or maybe I still would have written about my immigrant story

也许我还是可以写一写我的移民故事，

because that was a big part of my life journey

但只是因为它是 我人生旅途中的一大篇章，

and still impacts me to this day.

时至今日依然在影响着我。

But I would have done it on my own terms.

但我会用我自己的方式 写下这个故事。

Instead of being written as a one-dimensional,

我不会把它写成单一维度的、

trauma-turned-triumph trauma drama,

“克服创伤，取得胜利”的创伤大戏，

I would have been able to tell a story that actually reflects who I am today

而是让它讲述现在的我是谁，

and acknowledge the fact that my journey is ongoing

证明我的旅程还在进行中，

and it doesn't begin or end with my racial identity.

它不会因我的种族身份 开始或结束。

This is the kind of ownership

这就是我希望每个人都能拥有的

that I wish for everyone to one day have over their story.

对他们自己故事的主导权。

And now it's up for universities to decide whether they get to tell it.

现在就取决于大学给不给他们机会 说出这个故事了。

Thank you.

谢谢。