Why You Should Talk About Your Anxiety at Work | Adam Whybrew | TED

翻译人员: Tianxin Wang 校对人员: Lening Xu

So I lead teams of data scientists

我领导了一个数据科学家团队，

and we solve business problems using difficult analytics.

我们使用复杂的分析方法 来解决业务问题。

And when I start working with someone new,

当我开始与新人合作时，

I ask them how I will know if they're struggling.

我会问他们我如何知道 他们是否在挣扎。

And I don't mean struggling with a business problem

我并不是说要为商业问题或 复杂的分析而苦苦挣扎。

or with a difficult analytics.

They don't struggle with that.

他们在解决那些问题 并不会感到吃力。

I mean struggling with their mental health.

我的意思是 与他们的心理健康作斗争。

And to make them feel comfortable to tell me,

为了让他们在告知我时 感到舒服放心，

because I want them to tell me,

因为我想让他们告诉我，

I tell them how they will know if I'm struggling.

我告诉他们，如果我在挣扎， 他们会怎么知道。

So I might be just unrealistically calm,

我可能只是不切实际地保持平静，

or they might get any kind of message from me at all

或者他们可能会在早晨九点之前， 收到来自我的消息。

before nine in the morning.

Because I'm not a morning person,

因为我不是一个早起的人，

message before nine,

在九点之前发消息，

very bad sign.

是一个非常糟糕的信号。

Now, I do this because I have suffered from anxiety and depression

现在，我之所以这样做 是因为我受到焦虑和抑郁的折磨，

and it was horrible.

这太可怕了。

And if there was a magic button I could press

如果我能按下一个神奇的按钮

that would rid the world of those two things,

可以让世界摆脱这两个情绪，

I'd press it straight away.

我会马上按下它。

But if that button only worked for me,

但是如果那个按钮只是对我有用，

if all it meant is that I wouldn't have got depressed,

如果这仅仅只意味着我不会感到抑郁，

I'd leave it alone.

我不会用它。

And that's because of some things that happened

这是因为在我从抑郁症中恢复 那段时间里发生的一些事情，

in the weeks and months as I was recovering from depression,

but also things that happened years later

同时也包括几年后发生的事情

when I started talking about it at work,

在我开始在工作中谈到它时，

and it improved my relationships with colleagues.

它改善了我与同事们的关系。

So let's step back in time.

因此，让我们回到过去。

It's 2012,

那是 2012 年，

it's a Friday morning in May and the sun is out in London,

五月的一个星期五早晨 伦敦的太阳刚刚升起，

and I'm walking to work along the banks of the Thames.

我正沿着泰晤士河岸步行去工作。

And all around there are British flags flying.

到处都飞扬着英国国旗。

And there's this quiet excitement in the city.

这座城市弥漫着一种安静的兴奋之情。

And that's because the Olympics were coming there in two month's time.

这是因为奥运会将在两个月后举行。

And that morning, like every other morning at the time,

那天早上， 就像平常那个时间的早晨一样，

I'd woken up about three hours earlier than normal

我比平时早了大约三个小时醒来

thinking and worrying about work.

思考和担心工作。

And I'd got up just retching with anxiety

然后我起床时焦虑得干呕，

and gone to the bathroom and been sick.

去了洗手间就吐了。

And I felt a bit better after that, made my way to work.

之后我感觉好了一些， 就去上班了。

But by the time I got to work, I could barely speak.

但是当我开始工作时， 我几乎无法说话。

So I could just about order a cup of coffee.

所以我几乎只能点杯咖啡。

But apart from that, for the mornings, I was pretty much silent.

除此之外，一整个早上， 我几乎没怎么说话。

And coffee was about the extent of my diet,

咖啡几乎就是我饮食的全部，

so I'd pretty much given up eating.

所以我差不多放弃吃东西了。

And that's probably not what you would have expected

你可能都无法想象，

if you'd been walking past me on that sunny Friday morning

即使你在那个阳光明媚的星期五早上 从我身边走过，

with the flags flying and the Olympics coming.

即使周围旗帜飘扬， 奥运即将开幕。

And after a couple of weeks things hadn't got any better

几周后情况没有好转，

and so I decided I shouldn't go to work.

所以我决定不再去工作。

So I phoned the team and told them,

于是我给团队打电话告诉他们，

and a few days later, I got professional help.

几天后， 我得到了专业人员的帮助。

And what a difference that made.

这带来了多大的不同啊。

So my psychologist gave me really simple, practical advice.

我的心理学家给了我 非常简单实用的建议。

Things like, you really need to eat

比如说，你真的需要吃东西，

because feeling anxious and feeling hungry

因为在你的身体里， 焦虑和饥饿是非常相似的感觉。

are very similar feelings in your body.

Another bit of advice was,

另一个建议是，

don't get up and go to the bathroom and be sick.

不要起床后直接去洗手间吐。

Get up, go to the kitchen, make a cup of tea, read a book.

起床，去厨房， 泡杯茶，读一本书。

So I did that, helped a bit with the morning vomiting.

我这样做了， 这对早上的呕吐有所帮助。

I had to learn how to switch off from work.

我必须学会如何 从工作状态中切换出来。

Now anyone can stop working.

现在任何人都可以停止工作。

That's easy.

这很简单。

The difficult thing is stopping thinking about work.

困难的事情是停止思考工作。

And to do that,

要做到这一点，

I would imagine a green force field around the house

我会想象房子周围有一个绿色的力场

that would keep thoughts of work out.

可以让让大脑脱离工作。

And I still switch that force field on

我会时不时地开启这个力场。

from time to time.

It helps me put off until tomorrow things that I could do today.

它帮助我将今天可以做的事情 推迟到明天。

If I do them tomorrow, they'll be a bit rushed.

如果我明天去做， 会有点仓促。

They will be less good, but they'll be good enough.

那些事情就不会那么好， 但它们已经足够好了。

And my wife, who saw this change in my working patterns,

我的妻子看到了我工作模式的变化，

was convinced I was going to get fired.

确信我当时一定会被解雇。

I actually have been promoted twice since then.

事实上，从那以后我已经升职两次了。

Now I also had to learn how to enjoy spending time with my wife

现在我还必须学会如何享受 与妻子、家人和朋友相处的时光。

and with my family and friends.

And it sounds easy, but it really wasn't at first.

听起来很简单， 但起初真的不是。

So I remember going out for a pizza with the family,

所以我记得一次和家人 出去吃披萨，

and all I wanted to do was lie on the floor,

我想做的就是躺在地板上，

curl up into a ball and groan.

蜷缩成一团呻吟。

Now, fortunately for everyone in the pizza restaurant,

对于披萨餐厅里的所有人来说， 幸运的是，

I didn't do that.

我没有那样做。

But it was still really awkward

但还是很尴尬，

because all I could think of to talk about was how miserable I was.

因为我所能想到的就是我有多痛苦。

Anyway, with a bit of practice, it got less awkward.

无论如何，只要稍加练习， 就不那么尴尬了。

I got a bit less self-absorbed and I learned to enjoy other people again.

我变得不那么专注， 学会欣赏别人。

And one day, about a few weeks after I first got professional help,

有一天，在我第一次得到 专业帮助大约几周后，

I woke up in the morning feeling fine,

我早上醒来感觉很好，

just feeling normal.

感觉很正常。

And I have done every day since then.

从那以后，我每天都这么做。

Now, some people can do a really good job at work

有些人在焦虑或抑郁时， 依然能把工作做得很好。

when they're anxious or depressed.

And I am not one of those people.

但我不是这些人中的一员。

So I really did a terrible job.

所以我真的很糟糕。

The team had to carry me.

我的团队必须扶持着我。

It's really very difficult to contribute if you can't speak all morning.

如果你整天上午都不能说话， 要做出贡献真的很难。

It was the first time I'd ever really failed at anything.

这是我第一次 在某个事情上真正失败。

And I can't tell you how comforting it is now

我无法告诉你，

现在知道我可以在某些事情上失败，

to know that I can fail at something,

even something quite important,

甚至在一些非常重要的事情上 失败是多么令人欣慰，

life will go on and I'll be fine.

生活会继续，我会好起来。

And because I'd done such a terrible job at work,

因为我的工作做得太糟糕了，

I didn't want anyone to know about it.

我不想让任何人知道。

It was this kind of shameful secret.

这是个丢脸的秘密。

So the strange thing is

所以奇怪的是，

what happened when I did start talking about it at work,

当我在工作中开始谈论这件 非常私密的事时，发生了什么。

and it started very privately.

So if I was working with someone

因此，如果我和某人一起工作

and it seemed like they were struggling,

而他们似乎在挣扎，

I'd tell them some of my story.

我会给他们讲一些我的故事。

That seemed to help a bit.

这似乎有所帮助。

It wasn't as awkward and horrible as I thought it might be.

这并不像我想象的那么尴尬和可怕。

So I got a bit braver and I said to our HR team,

所以我变得更勇敢了， 我对我们的人力资源团队说：

"If you come across someone who's struggling with their mental health,

“如果你们遇到一个 正在与心理健康作斗争的人，

I'll be happy to talk to them one-on-one if you think it would help."

如果你认为有帮助的话， 我很乐意与他们进行一对一的交谈。”

I did that a few times and I still do.

我曾经这样做过几次， 现在仍然如此。

And what that meant was

那意味着，

when the HR team were putting together a booklet

当人力资源团队整理一本

about what to do if you're struggling with your mental health,

关于心理健康状况不佳 该怎么办的手册时，

they asked me and some other people to share our stories anonymously.

他们要求我和其他一些人 匿名分享我们的故事。

And I did that.

我同意了。

But when I sent the message,

但我提供信息时，

I asked them to print my name next to it.

我要求他们在旁边打印我的名字。

Now, have you ever sent a message and thought,

现在，你有没有 发过一条消息然后想：

"I wonder if that was a good idea?"

“我想知道这是否是个好主意？”

So that was what I felt.

所以这就是我的感受。

And I was quite scared, it was going to hundreds of people,

我当时很害怕， 它会面向数百人，

there was no going back. It was in writing.

这是没有退路的。 它是书面形式的。

And I was worried people would think it would happen again

而且我担心人们会 认为这种情况会再次发生，

and they wouldn't want to work with me.

他们不会想和我合作。

I was worried they'd think I was weak and self-indulgent,

我担心他们会认为 我很虚弱且自我放纵，

and maybe some people do.

也许有些人会这样做。

And I was worried

我也担心

that even if they didn't think either of those things,

即使他们没有想到这两件事，

it would just be on their minds when they were talking to me later on.

这些事情在他们以后和我说话时 也会浮现在脑海中。

That's not what happened.

事实并非如此。

What actually happened was people got in touch

实际发生的事情是， 人们动情地说，

to say there was really comforting to have someone quite senior say,

有一个相当资深的人发言 真的很令人欣慰，

"I had this experience.

“我有这样的经历。

It was horrible.

那太可怕了。

I got through it,

我度过了难关，

I'm still here and I'm doing fine."

我还在这里，我过得很好。”

And gradually I started talking about it to larger and larger audiences.

渐渐地，我开始 向越来越多的听众谈论这些事。

So there's a podcast about it.

所以做了一个关于它的播客。

We did a session for people who were struggling during lockdown,

我们为在封锁期间挣扎的人们 举行了一次会议，

and if you're not sick of hearing about me being sick in the mornings,

如果你不厌倦听到 我早上生病的消息，

you can read about it on two websites.

你可以在两个网站上阅读。

And one day, about ten years after that sunny day in London,

在伦敦那个阳光明媚的日子 大约十年后的某一天，

I stood up in front of 600 of my colleagues

我站在 600 名同事面前

and told them the full story.

向他们讲述了完整的故事。

And after that,

之后，

people from all levels of the company, right up to the very top,

公司各个层面的人们， 一直到最高层，

took me aside and shared

把我拉到一边，

that they had either been through something like that,

分享他们曾经历过这样的事情，

or they were going through something like that at the time.

或者他们当时正在经历类似的事情。

And then I'd say the most common emotion

然后我想说我从他们那里 得到的最常见的情绪

that I picked up from them was relief,

是松了一口气，

that they were just relieved that someone was talking about it openly.

有人公开谈论此事， 他们才松了一口气。

One person actually took me aside on the stairs more than a year later,

实际上，一年多以后， 有人把我带到楼梯旁边，

to say that it had given him that push he needed and wanted

说这件事给了他所需要的推动力，

to go and get some help for some things

而且他想去寻求帮助来解决

he was struggling with at the time.

他当时遇到的一些问题。

Now, one of the people in that audience of 600

600 名观众中，

was new to the company.

有一人是公司的新人。

And she said to me,

她对我说，

"Hearing that talk made me feel like this was my kind of place."

“听到那段谈话 让我觉得这里非常亲切。”

And I think she actually got to the bottom of what it made me feel like.

而且我认为她实际上 已经深入了解了那给我的感受。

So if I could stand up in front of all my colleagues

因此，如果我能站在所有同事面前

and tell them this story that had been terribly embarrassing

给他们讲这个故事，

曾经非常尴尬、令人沮丧和可耻，

and upsetting and shameful,

felt shameful at the time,

当时感觉很可耻，

and I was fine,

但现在我很好，

well, it made it feel like my kind of place too.

这也会让我感觉有一种归属感。

And we know from Amy Edmondson's work on psychological safety

我们从艾米·埃德蒙森的 心理安全研究中得知

that that feeling improves the performance of teams.

那种归属感会改善团队的表现。

Now, I didn't stand up and tell 600 people about vomiting in the morning

我没有站起来 告诉 600 人早上呕吐的事

to improve their performance,

以改善他们的表现，

but if it does, I'll take it, that's great.

但如果是的话， 我会接受的，这很好。

It is possible to go too far with this,

这可能会做的有点过火，

and I know that because I did.

我知道这是因为我做到了。

So I got some great anonymous feedback that said,

因此，我收到了一些很好的匿名反馈 上面写着：

"Adam is always talking to me

“亚当一直在和我聊

to make sure I'm not depressed or anxious.

以确保我不会感到抑郁或焦虑。

He never talks to me about work or my career."

他从不和我谈论工作或我的职业。”

So after that I changed a bit what I talk to people about.

所以在那之后，我稍微改变了 我和别人聊天的内容。

Now, I'm not saying that if you've suffered from mental illness,

现在，我并不是说 如果你患有精神疾病，

you should tell everyone at work all about it.

你应该把所有事情 都告诉工作中的每一个人。

If you're experiencing it now,

如果你现在正在经历，

you probably won't regret telling someone you trust.

你可能不会后悔告诉你信任的人。

If you've recovered, you may find, like me,

如果你已经康复， 你可能会像我一样

that telling people about it goes better than you expect.

告诉人们这件事比你预期的结果要好。

There's no guarantees and there's still plenty of prejudice around.

这并不能提供保证， 而且周围仍然存在很多偏见。

Nor am I saying that if you are suffering from anxiety or depression,

我也不是说 如果你患有焦虑或抑郁症，

you should be really thankful

你真的应该心存感激，

because of all these terrific benefits you're going to get that I got,

因为我给你带来了很多好处，

and it's good for your character.

这对你的性格也有好处。

I'm not saying that at all.

这不是我的本意。

It's really horrible

很可怕的是

and I feel for you.

我和你有同感。

If you are lucky enough to be able to get professional help,

如果你有幸获得专业帮助，

please do.

请务必这样做。

I cannot tell you how much of a difference that has made to my life.

我无法告诉你这对我的生活 产生了多大的影响。

If you can't get professional help, look for free resources online.

如果你无法获得专业帮助， 那就在线查找免费资源。

And in either case, remember

无论哪种情况，都要记住

that you're not the first person to have gone through something like this,

你不是第一个经历这样事情的人，

that depression and anxiety are treatable.

抑郁和焦虑是可以治疗的。

And that you are not alone.

你并不孤单。

Now on that sunny Friday morning in London,

在伦敦那个阳光明媚的星期五早晨，

I had no idea that within a few months

我不知道在几个月之内

I would have recovered to something better than I was

我会恢复到比我开始焦虑之前更好的状态。

before I started to get anxious.

And when I felt really worried,

当我感到非常担忧时，

sending the message to the HR team about printing my name next to my story,

我向人力资源团队发送了关于 在我的故事旁印上我的名字的信息，

I had no idea what would follow from that

我不知道这会带来什么

and how beneficial it would be for me and for other people.

也不知道这将 对我和其他人有多大好处。

There's no guarantees that anyone else will experience the same thing.

无法保证其他人 也会经历同样的事情。

And that's why if there was this magic button

这就是为什么 如果有这个神奇的按钮

for ridding the world of anxiety and depression,

可以让世界摆脱焦虑和抑郁，

I'd press it straight away.

我会马上按下它。

But unfortunately that button is still an imaginary button.

但不幸的是， 这个按钮仍然是一个虚构的按钮。

It's not real.

这不是真的。

And while it stays like that,

尽管情况一直如此，

I think we would all do better by talking about it.

但我认为谈论这个问题 会让我们做的更好。

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）