Speak English BETTER than a native!! - English lesson!

You know this is?

This is you about five minutes

Because you're gonna speak English better than a native!

The average English person is terrible at grammar

spelling and you know being social

For example: If you hear any native English speaker

say the word "pronOUnciation"

instead of saying it "pronunciation"

Punch them in the face

Hard

True story: I used to work for someone

who would send emails to very high-profile clients in other companies

She was a native English

and her grammar and spelling were so so bad

A five-year-old could have done better

So today you're going to learn the very common mistakes that native English speakers make

Of course there are the annoying ones

Yes okay sometimes I have made that mistake

It can be a brain fart and generally we know that those are wrong

but these next five examples of mistakes that native English speakers make

make us sound so annoyingly stupid it makes me want to poke my eyes out

First some pronunciation, again it's not pronOUnciation.

That deserves a punch in the face

But how about this: Ask your native english-speaking friends how do you pronounce that letter

I guarantee you a large percentage of them will say:

it's not Haitch no it's Aitch

Punch in the face

For all you Italians, this will annoy you:

How do we say espresso?

We change the S for an X

Punch in the face!

I especially get annoyed at "eXpecially"

Where are these X's coming from?!

It's equally awful and definitely deserves a punch in the face and

defriending from Facebook forever

This you will see more in text and written things

but if you listen carefully sometimes you can hear it

What am I talking about? This:

These aren't things. Stop.

Why do British people do this you have to think of the contraction

say it enough times

Is it "would of"!?

No

I guarantee you, search on Twitter the term "would of"

you will find millions of examples of people using this incorrectly. It's nuts!

so just remember it's not would of its would have should have could have

Also native English speakers always get the third conditional wrong

In third conditionals, wishes or ifs about a past situation

You have to remember the order

The hypothetical result of that includes "would have" / "could have", sure!

but not with the "if" clause

OH what's that?! Trump isn't very good at grammar

Shocking!

So what did he want to say?

he wanted to say:

blah blah blah bullshit

But he's... an idiot

Much more commonly, you will hear this in conversation

and see it in text conversation

You can correct your friends now!

You know that this isn't the right way

What way should it be?

The next one is:

Subject pronouns!? yeah

Remember we're using subject pronouns

You wouldn't for example say "me went to the pub"

No you'd say "I went to the pub"

"I did a thing" not "me did a thing"

And it's the done thing to let the other person go first in the sentence

and finally:

Why would you pluralise something that's already plural!?

If anyone says that, you know what to do!

Hard!

And if you ever see your friends

on social media making any of these mistakes

you can be that really super popular friend

and correct their grammar

everyone loves that person

Are there any I've missed? What mistakes have you noticed that British or native English speakers make?

Let me know in the comments and I'll see you in the next class!