Business English: Polite Expressions for Resolving Conflict

Hey, welcome back to my channel. Thanks for watching. Today is a business English lesson

looking at disagreements and negotiations and dealing with conflict at work. So, this

is not just relevant to those of you who are working in English, because some of these

phrases will be applicable to other areas of life outside of the office. Okay. So, let's

have an imaginary situation. Let's pretend that we've got a place of work, and the director

has decided that there is to be no tea-making facilities in the staff room. Okay? So, the

representative of the - of the workers goes to meet the director. Yeah? And the workers

are like, "Ah, what is this? We need to drink tea." Yeah? "It's important." And - so this

is the context. So, the director is going to say to the angry representative, "Can I

make sure we're on the same page, here? Can I make sure we are all talking about the same

situation and we have the correct information?" "We", "you" and "me". Now, if I say "we",

the collective "we", then it's inclusive, and it's saying we have a problem together.

It's not just you have a problem; we have a problem, and we're going to try and sort

it out. Next question. So, the director says, "Would I be right in thinking that you are

asking for some tea-making facilities?" "Would I be right in thinking", so it's a formal

and polite construction using "would". "Would I be right in thinking that you want the tea-making

facilities?" And the guy is like, "Yeah, yeah, of course we want it. How are we meant to

do our jobs without it?" And the director could reply, "Well, look, what I'm trying

to say is you can have the tea-making facilities, but just not in this room. Okay? What I'm

trying to say is this, but because the representative is so upset, they're not listening to anything

the director is saying, and they're being actually quite rude. So, the director might

want to say something like, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, let's try not to get personal here.

Yep. Let's not get over the top." Or, "Come on. Let's try to stick to the facts. What

are the facts? You want tea. You can have tea, but not in this room. So, let's try not

to get personal." So, getting personal is when you're being inappropriately offensive,

and that's not professional. "Let's try to stick to the facts. Let's not get all emotional.

Let's be - let's be clear, and thorough, and focused on the information." Okay. End of

that conversation, we're going to have a look at a different situation now, and we're going

to be thinking about a horse - a stud farm, a place for horses. Okay? And a mother has

come to see the owner of the - of the business, the horse training company, to say that she

doesn't feel like her child is safe in this environment. So, the mother is saying - these

are kind of our polite phrases here, and then if it's a bit more serious, then we go into

the black. "I have to say I'm a bit worried about Jimmy Bob's safety. It - it just - it's

chaos here, and I'm worried that something bad will happen." Okay. "I have to say", it

doesn't really mean anything, but it's - it's kind of an introduction to something important.

"I have to say I'm not happy." Okay? "I'm a bit worried about", again, we've got a sort

of filler that just pads out the conversation and makes it a little bit more polite. "I'm

not sure if you're aware, but the other day one of your dogs bit Jimmy Bob. I'm not sure

if you're aware", if you're aware, if you know about this, "but". Okay. And then if

the owner is not helpful after that, then the mother might want to get a little bit

more firm. "I'm really not happy with this. It's total chaos. It's very badly managed,

and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm really not happy." And then going into some reasons.

Or trying to make a point. "The real issue", issue meaning problem here, "is there's no

one in charge." Okay? So, nice and gentle and soft. If there's no response, going firmer.

Okay? I've got some more phrases for you. Now, if things get really heated between the

two sides, if it starts getting a bit nasty, then there needs to be someone in the middle.

A chair. Not a chair to sit on, a chairman or a chair... A chairsperson. Okay? Someone

to be the peacekeeper, really. And that person could ask questions to either side. So, we're

going back to our tea situation, with the tea not being allowed in the staff room, and

then there was an idea that it went into another room, but that idea fell through, so now the

staff are not happy because they want their tea making facilities. So, a chairperson is

asking the director, "How do you propose we deal with this issue?" How do you propose?

What's your idea? Yep, give me something, here. We deal. To deal with a problem, to

find a solution. "How do you propose we deal with this issue?" Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh.

Staff bring their own cups of tea in, she might say. And then the representative will

say, "Absolutely not. Duh-duh-duh, very rude." So, the chairperson has to say, "Okay, folks.

It might be better if we come back to this another day." That shouldn't be a question

mark; that's a statement. "It might be better if we come back to this another day if we

can't be civil to each other." "Can we please try and avoid shouting?" Yep. So, it's a little

bit heated; it's a little bit angry, this situation.

Now, phrases that the representative could use to show his or her upset at this situation.

"I just don't understand how you expect us to come to work and we can't make cups of

tea." "I just can't work if I don't have tea." And what might the director say? "Well, I

see what you mean, but you're under contract and it is a job." "I see what you mean, yeah,

I kind of understand, but you're wrong." And the representative again, "I just won't be

able to function and do my job well if I don't have my tea." I know this is a silly situation,

okay? I'm just trying to demonstrate using these phrases.

Now, we do need to find a compromise. Yep. It's no good just falling out with people

and, you know, we need to try and find solutions together. "I'm", so what the director might

say, "I'm prepared to let you have your tea-making facilities if we don't have a Christmas party

this year." "What? No Christmas party? That's not very fair." "Well, I don't know, maybe."

Or what about, "Look, would it help if I bought all of the staff their own thermos and then

they could bring their tea with them?" "Oh, that's a good idea, yeah, maybe. I'd be more

than happy to do that, so let me know." Okay? So, we've gone through it all now, yep. We've

looked at ways of making our point, of being quite sort of firm, of saying that there's

a problem. We've looked at ways of trying to get the two parties, the two different

people to listen to each other. And finally, we've kind of looked at ways of finding a

compromise. So, it remains time for you to do the quiz to make sure that you've absorbed

these phrases. And I'd really recommend just writing down a phrase or two that you can

use, and I'll see you in the next video. Okay? Thanks for watching.