Can music mend a broken heart? - 6 Minute English

Hello. This is 6 Minute

English from BBC Learning English.

I'm Sam. And I'm Neil.

There are a million songs about falling in love and just as

many about being broken-hearted. Do you remember the first time

you fell in love, Sam?

Ah, yes. I was 14 and it seemed like every word of every love song

had been written just for me.

Well, there's a strong connection between music and love -

as Shakespeare famously wrote,

"If music be the food of love, play on". In this programme,

we'll be meeting a singer-songwriter who used music to express her feelings

of falling in love, and

later to mend her broken heart when the relationship ended. And

as usual, we'll be learning some new vocabulary as well.

But first, I have a question for you, Neil.

Your mention of Shakespeare reminds me of Romeo and Juliet,

his famous lovers who fall in love,

despite their fighting families only to die tragically young.

But in which Italian city was Romeo and Juliet set?

Was it a) Florence, b) Venice or c) Verona?

I think it must be one of the world's most romantic cities: Florence.

OK, Neil.

I'll reveal the answer later in the programme. Julia

Jacklin is an Australian singer-songwriter

whose song, 'Don't know how to keep loving you' reached number eight

in the Australian pop charts. Her song lyrics

explore feelings of falling in love, as well as the pain of breaking up.

Julia's songs are written from experience. Several years ago,

she quit her banned in Australia and bought a one way ticket to London

to be with her boyfriend and soulmate -

the person who she felt a special romantic connection with.

But things didn't work out as she'd hoped

and she found herself alone and working in a depressing job.

Julia turned to music, pouring her feelings of lost love

into the songs which later became her first album as a successful musician.

So when BBC

World Service programme, The Conversation, spoke with her,

they asked Julia, what she would tell her younger self.

The one thing that was just very heartbreaking for me at that age

was kind of adult cynicism.

I guess. About love.

I found that really difficult. You know, now

when like a young person is like really in love at 14,

I know that as an adult, all your instincts are telling them

to like, you know, that it's probably not going to work, you know, and that

like, just relax or whatever,

but I remember at the time just desperately wanting

to be validated by adults and not be told that I was being stupid.

I don't know, I'd probably just be like

"Yeah, go for it."

Many teenagers have a romantic ideal of everlasting love, often in contrast

to the beliefs of adults, which Julia calls 'cynicism' -

the belief that something will not be successful,

or that the people involved are not sincere.

The young Julia wanted to feel 'validated' - to get confirmation

that her feelings were worthwhile and valued.

She wanted someone to tell her 'go for it' - a phrase used to encourage a person

to do whatever it takes to make something work.

Young love is delicate and it's easy to be pessimistic.

I mean, how many couples do you know,

Sam, who met as teenagers and stayed together for the rest of their lives?

I don't know many, it's true.

Neuro-scientist, Doctor Lucy Brown

is co-creator of The Anatomy of Love - a website

exploring the science of romance.

She thinks we need to be more realistic about falling in love,

as she explains here to BBC

World Service's The Conversation.

I wish someone had said, you know

love is wonderful. Yes, go for it.

But heartbreak happens.

You know, and maybe this isn't going to last.

Maybe it is, but maybe isn't, and

just realise that it can be one of the most devastating experiences

in you're life. But

you're going to get over it.

Doctor Brown thinks it is important to know that

relationships can end in 'heartbreak' - feelings of great sadness

as if your heart is broken -

especially after the end of a romantic affair.

But she also wants young people to know that, whatever happens, they can 'get

over it' - feel better again after something has made them unhappy.

Falling in love is one of the great experiences in life

and developing the strength to face whatever happens

makes it more likely that the story ends happily.

Unlike the tale of Romeo and Juliet.

I think it's time to reveal the answer to my question, Neil.

In which Italian city does the story of Romeo and Juliet take place?

I said it was Florence.

So, was I right?

Well, Florence is a romantic city.

But the correct answer is Verona.

Verona was little-known in Shakespeare's time, but nowadays,

thousands of tourists visit the sites connected with the story,

including the famous balcony where Romeo declared his eternal love.

OK, let's recap the vocabulary we've learned.

Starting with 'soulmate'.

The special person who you feel a strong, romantic bond to.

'Cynicism' describes the belief

that something will not work out successfully.

If you are 'validated',

you get external confirmation that your actions, ideas

or feelings are worthwhile and valued.

You can use the phrase 'go for it' to encourage someone

to make whatever efforts are necessary to get something done.

'Heartbreak' describes feelings of great sadness as if your heart is broken.

And finally, 'to get over something' means to feel better again

after something has made you unhappy.

Once again, our six minutes are up,

but there's time for one more famous saying,

and I think it is good advice:

'Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'.

Bye for now. Goodbye.