How to Set the Right Goals and Stay Motivated | Ayelet Fishbach | TED

翻译人员: Aria Li 校对人员: Yip Yan Yeung

A good friend has recently shared that she's feeling tired.

最近一位好朋友告诉我，她感到疲倦，

Like, really tired.

心力交瘁。

Not "I did not get enough sleep" tired,

不是“我睡得不够”的疲倦，

but something deeper than that.

而是比这更深层次的东西。

She said she feels, and I'm quoting,

她跟我讲自己的感受，

原话是“我好像失去了动力。”

"As if I have lost my motivation."

I call her brave because she's so clearly dedicated to her job

我认为她很勇敢，

因为她对自己的工作非常投入，

and conducts herself with professionalism and kindness.

并且在以专业和亲切的态度做事。

She's a wonderful parent who cares for her children,

在照顾孩子方面，她是一位很棒的母亲；

and she's very responsible when it gets to her finance and health.

在财务和健康方面，她非常负责。

She is not alone in feeling unmotivated.

她并不是唯一一个感到没有动力的人。

Millennial and Gen Z employees tell me that they feel uninspired at work.

千禧一代和Z世代的雇员告诉我， 他们在工作中缺乏热情。

Some admit that they just don't care.

有些人承认他们根本不在乎。

Half of American employees are currently looking for a different job.

目前，有一半的美国雇员 正在寻找另一份工作。

Think about that.

想想这个状况。

Older employees tell me that they can't wait to retire.

年长的雇员告诉我， 他们等不及要退休了。

And when I ask about life at home,

当我问起家庭生活时，

people say that they struggle with their finance and health.

人们会说，他们在 财务和健康方面苦苦挣扎。

Do you?

你呢？

The national data suggests that chronic diseases

全国数据表明，

糖尿病和心脏病等慢性病例 呈上升趋势。

such as diabetes and heart disease

are on the rise.

The median American family has only a bit over 5,000 dollars in savings,

美国家庭的存款中位数 只略高于 5,000 美元，

barely enough to pay next month's rent.

几乎不足以支付下个月的房租。

Did America lose its motivation?

是美国失去动力了吗？

(Audience murmuring)

（观众窃窃私语）

Well, the answer is no.

不，答案是否定的。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Turns out, you cannot lose your motivation

事实证明，你不会失去动力，

because you never owned it in the first place.

因为你从一开始就没拥有过动力。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Motivation,

动力，

and that shouldn't surprise you,

你是知道的，

isn't your car key or wallet.

它并不是你的车钥匙或钱包。

So what is it?

那动力是什么呢？

Well, motivation is not about being strong,

动力并不是关于变得坚强，

it's about being wise.

而是关于变得明智。

Let me explain.

让我解释一下。

You may think of motivation as a muscle,

你可能会把动力想像成肌肉，

thinking some people have strong motivation muscles, others are weak.

认为有些人有很强的 动力肌肉，而另一些人则很弱。

But this is not a good metaphor.

但这不是一个好比喻。

Motivation is knowledge.

动力是知识，

You learn how to be motivated.

你将学会如何获得动力。

And so today,

今天，我想帮助在座的每一个人，

I would like to help each of you,

and America,

以及美国。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

become wiser so that you are more motivated

变得更明智， 这样你们才能更有动力，

and hence better able to achieve your goals,

才能更好地实现 自己的目标、梦想和抱负。

your dreams, your aspirations.

And given what the world has been throwing at you,

鉴于世界一直在向你抛出挑战，

that might be a good time to refresh your knowledge.

这可能是更新你知识的一个好时机。

To be motivated, you either change the situation

为了获得动力，

你要么改变情况， 要么改变对情况的看法。

or the way you think about the situation.

This is the science in one sentence:

原理如下，简而言之：

you change the circumstances

你改变环境，或者改变看待环境的方式。

or the way you think about the circumstances.

So if you want to be more physically active,

如果你想锻炼身体，

there is no point in yelling at yourself.

对自己大喊大叫是没有意义的。

I yell it, "You should walk more!"

我对自己喊：“你应该多走走！”

Instead, I got a puppy.

相反，我养了一只小狗。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

She loves long walks.

她喜欢长途散步。

Your journey starts with setting a goal.

你的旅程从设定目标开始。

My friend wanted to be motivated at work,

我的朋友想在工作中获得动力，

so she identified a project she wanted to complete.

于是她确定了一个想要完成的项目。

That was a goal and it's a good motivation strategy.

那是一个目标， 也是一个很好的激励策略。

Goals pull you.

目标推动你前进。

The problem?

问题出在哪里？

My friend identified a project she wished she had already completed,

我的朋友确定了一个 她希望自己早已完成的项目，

not something she was looking forward to doing.

而不是她期待去做的项目。

Have you ever set a goal you wish you had already completed

你有没有设定过一个 希望自己已经完成了的目标，

but had less interest in actually completing?

但对实际完成这个目标 兴趣不大？

Most goals are abandoned

大多数目标之所以被放弃，

because we want to be the person who has done it,

是因为我们想成为 已经实现这个目标的人，

not the person who is currently doing it.

而不是正在努力完成这个目标的人。

When we are excited about doing the work, we are intrinsically motivated.

当我们对做这项工作感到兴奋时， 会产生内在的动力。

We care about the way almost as much

我们对实现路径的关注几乎 和对目的地的期待一样多。

as we are looking forward to the destination.

In our research, we found that most goals are abandoned,

在研究中我们发现，

大多数目标被放弃， 并不是因为它们不重要。

not because they are not important.

OK, people actually are not more likely to adhere to their important

实际上，人们对“重要目标”的坚持， 并不比“非重要目标”更多。

compared to unimportant goals.

Most goals are abandoned because people don't enjoy pursuing them.

大多数目标被放弃，是因为 人们在追求的过程中并不感到快乐。

Your enjoyment is what predicts whether you will stick with the goal.

享受程度决定了你是否会坚持这个目标。

So what makes goals exciting?

那么，是什么让目标变得令人兴奋呢？

Exciting goals are never a chore or a mean.

令人兴奋的目标 从来都不是繁琐的任务或方法。

Ever wondered why Chicago diners would circle the block for 30 minutes

有没有想过，为什么芝加哥的食客 会开车绕街区 30 分钟寻找免费停车位，

looking for free parking,

but will not think twice before spending the money

但绝不犹豫一秒，就把刚刚省下来的 停车费花在再点一杯鸡尾酒上？

they have just saved on parking on ordering another cocktail?

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Why pay for drinks and not for parking?

为什么会付饮料钱而不是停车费？

Well, we don't like to pay for parking or shipping,

好吧，我们不喜欢支付停车费或运费，

students don't like to study for prerequisite classes

学生不喜欢学习先修课程，

because all these are means.

因为这些都是达到目的的手段。

We don't like to invest in means.

我们不喜欢投资于手段。

We did a study that showed us

我们做了一项研究，展示了人们 有多不喜欢为手段或工具而投资。

just how much you dislike to invest in means.

In our study,

我们举办了一场拍卖，

we auctioned a book for some people

先是为一部分参与者拍卖了一本书，

and then we auctioned the University of Chicago tote bag

然后又为另一部分参与者拍卖了 芝加哥大学的手提袋。

to other people.

The average person was willing to pay 23 dollars for the book,

人们平均愿意为这本书支付 23 美元，

but only 12 dollars for the tote bag.

但只愿意为手提袋支付 12 美元。

The catch?

有趣的是，

The tote bag contained the book.

手提袋里实际上装着那本书。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And people knew it.

而且竞拍者们都知道这一点。

Why would the people that were bidding on a tote bag that contains a book,

为什么明明知道手提袋里有书， 竞拍者们却愿意支付更少的钱呢？

be willing to pay less?

Well, we don't like to invest in means.

原因是，人们通常不愿意 为达到目的所必需的手段或工具支付太多。

OK, so you set a goal that is intrinsically motivated,

好，假设你设定了 一个内在动机驱动的目标，

you are excited about the way just as much

你也对实现目标的过程感到兴奋，

as you want to reach the destination.

就像你对达到目标那样兴奋。

A couple of weeks past,

几个星期过去了，

and you have not been doing much lately.

你没怎么做事。

It has now been four or six months and your motivation is on the decline.

现在可能已经过去四到六个月了， 你的动力在下降。

How do you sustain your motivation?

你如何保持你的动力？

How do you get from here to there?

你如何从这里到达那里？

Well, motivation is going to be high when we just start on something

当我们刚开始做某事和接近结束时， 动力通常会很高。

and toward the end.

But it will decline in the middle.

但在中间阶段，动力会下降。

We call it the middle problem.

我们称之为“中间问题”。

My friend might start her project with much enthusiasm,

我的朋友可能会满怀热情地 开始她的项目，

then her motivation will decline.

然后，她的动力就会降低。

Toward the deadline, it will pick up again.

临近最后期限再次回升，

She will regain her motivation.

她将重新获得动力。

A few years ago, we asked people who observe the Hanukkah holiday

几年前，我们向庆祝光明节的人请教，

to let us know whether they were lighting the first candle on the first night,

他们是否在节日的第一晚 点燃第一支蜡烛，

the second on the second night,

第二晚点燃第二支，

the third night, so on,

第三晚点燃第三支，依此类推，

until the eighth night.

一直到点燃第八晚的蜡烛。

As you can see,

如图所示，

most people admitted to only lighting the candles

大多数人承认自己 只会在第一晚和最后一晚点蜡烛。

on the first and last night.

They were procrastinating in the middle.

他们在中间阶段拖延了。

The solution?

解决方案是？

Make middles short.

缩短中间阶段的时间。

A monthly exercise goal, a weekly exercise goal,

每月、每周的锻炼目标，

even a daily exercise goal

甚至每天的锻炼目标，会更容易实现，

are easier because as the end is near,

因为当目标临近时，更容易保持动力。

it is easier to stay motivated.

If only Hanukkah was just two nights.

要是光明节只有两晚就好了。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Another problem with middles

中间阶段的另一个问题是， 你会遇到挫折。

is that you're going to experience setbacks,

and when experiencing setbacks,

当你遇到挫折时， 很自然地会感到沮丧。

it is natural to feel discouraged.

One wise solution is to remove your ego out of the picture,

一个明智的解决方案是将你的自尊心 排除在外，这与它无关。

it's not about it.

When you remove your ego, it is easier to learn.

当你消除自我时， 学习起来会更容易。

When I was helping my ten-year-old son win a video game,

当我帮助我十岁的儿子 打赢一个电子游戏时，

he awarded me the title a Failure Expert.

他授予了我“失败专家”的称号。

I love this title.

我喜欢这个称号。

Why am I a failure expert?

为什么我是“失败专家”？

Because I don't mind getting killed by virtual monsters.

因为我不介意被虚拟怪物杀死，

He doesn’t mind seeing me getting beaten by virtual monsters,

他不介意看到我被虚拟怪物打败。

so we can both learn.

所以我们俩都可以学习。

At work, when you're not quite killing it,

在工作中，如果你觉得自己做得不够好，

remove your ego and you will be better able to learn.

把自尊心抛到一边， 这样你就能学得更快。

Another solution is to seek discomfort,

另一种解决方案是寻求不适感，

if only temporarily,

即使只是暂时的，

instead of trying to avoid it.

而不是试图避免。

When you seek discomfort temporarily,

当你暂时寻求不适感时，

you realize that you can grow yourself,

你会意识到自己可以成长，

that discomfort is a sign of growth.

这种不适感是成长的标志。

“No pain, no gain” is not just about the gym.

“一分耕耘，一分收获” 不只适用于健身房。

It's a general wise motivation strategy.

这是一种普遍的明智的激励策略。

Let me tell you about a study that we conducted

我来介绍一下，我们和芝加哥 备受喜爱的即兴喜剧俱乐部——

with Chicago's beloved improvisation club, The Second City.

“第二城市”合作进行的一项研究。

We worked with their training center,

我们与他们的训练中心合作，

which is where regular people like you and me go to learn improvisation.

那里是像你我这样的普通人 去学习即兴表演的地方。

We were specifically interested in one exercise: Give focus.

我们对一项练习 特别感兴趣：集中精力。

In this exercise, one person gets the center of stage.

在练习中， 会让一个人站在舞台中心，

Everybody else is frozen in place.

其他所有人都待在原地。

OK, this person is moving around,

这个人四处走动，其他人在看着他。

everybody else is watching.

We invited some people to feel awkward and uncomfortable

我们邀请一些人在进行练习时 体验尴尬和不适感。

as they run through the exercise.

Others in the control group were invited to develop their skills.

而对照组的其他人则被邀请 专注于提升他们的技能。

Who was more daring, taking the stage for longer?

谁会更大胆， 待在台上的时间更长？

Well, as you can see,

如你所见，

it was the people that we invited to feel uncomfortable.

正是那些我们 邀请来体验不适感的人。

In one wave of classes,

在一轮课程中，

asking people to feel uncomfortable doubled the time they took focus.

要求人们体验不舒服， 使他们集中注意力的时间增加了一倍。

Those people were also more daring.

那些人也更加大胆，

For example, they were dancing a little

比如除了四处走动， 他们还会在台上跳舞。

instead of just walking around.

And they also reported they were growing themselves more

他们还报告说，

与对照组相比， 自己的成长速度更快。

compared to those in the control group.

OK, but here's the problem.

但，这里有个问题。

You don't only have one goal.

你不只有一个目标。

For my friend,

对我的朋友来说， 挑战在于平衡工作和家庭。

the challenge was balancing between work and family.

Now, if you have not experienced the work-family conflict,

如果你没有 经历过工作与家庭的冲突，

you either don't have a job

要么是你没有工作，

or that you forgot that you also have a family.

要么是你忘记了自己也有家庭。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But it is wiser to think about these goals as balancing each other.

但更明智的做法是 将这些目标视为相互平衡。

When my friend realized that doing well at work

当我的朋友意识到在工作中表现出色 可以使她成为更好的家庭成员时，

makes her a better family member,

she was more motivated and happier to do both.

她更有动力， 也更快乐地去做这两件事。

Think about your goals

想想你的目标，

like dishes around the buffet table.

把它们想像成自助餐台上的菜肴。

You can create the perfect combination.

你可以创造完美的组合，

It is colorful, delicious, well-balanced.

它色彩鲜艳、美味、均衡。

Maybe you exercise on the way to work

也许你会在上班的路上锻炼身体，

and maybe you listen to an audiobook while you do that.

也许你会听一本有声书。

Other combinations don't work very well.

其他的组合则效果不佳，

They might feel like a waffle covered with pasta sauce.

可能会感觉像是 覆盖着意大利面酱的华夫饼。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

If you try to study for the bar exam

如果你在准备律师资格考试的同时

while talking to a friend and watching TV,

和朋友聊天、看电视，

this is distracting.

这会分散注意力。

You need to find the right combination.

你需要找到正确的组合。

Some people might decide to pursue one goal at a time.

有些人可能会 决定一次追求一个目标。

This is unrealistic.

这是不现实的。

At least sometimes,

至少， 你不能等到退休后再组建家庭，

you can't wait for retirement to start a family,

so look for the right balance and harmony.

所以要寻求适当的平衡与和谐。

Some goals, let's call them temptations, should take less room on your plate.

有些目标，我们称之为“诱惑”， 应该占用更少的时间。

However, instead of trying to push them out of mind,

但是，与其 试图将它们排除在脑海之外，

it might be wise to anticipate them in advance.

不如提前预测它们。

When you anticipate all the alcohol that will be served here later today,

当你预计今天晚些时候 这里会提供很多酒时，

you can better control your consumption.

你可以更好地控制自己的饮酒量。

When I anticipate that my colleague is going to be upset,

当我预计我的同事会不高兴时，

I can better control my emotion in a heated debate at work.

我可以更好地控制 在工作中激烈辩论时的情绪。

When we anticipate temptations, we are less tempted when we get there.

当我们提前预见到诱惑， 真正遇到它时就不容易上钩。

In one study,

在一项研究中，

when we reminded employees of all the times

当我们提醒员工，

they will be tempted to take office supplies for personal use,

他们将面临拿办公用品 用于个人用途的诱惑时，

they were less likely to do that

与对照组相比， 他们这样做的可能性更小。

compared to those in the control group.

Anticipating temptations makes you prepared and hence less tempted.

预测诱惑会让你做好准备， 从而降低被诱惑的可能性。

Alright, what about the person sitting next to you?

那么，坐在你旁边的人呢？

Look at them for a second.

盯着看他们一会儿，

I will be waiting here.

我留时间给你们。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

How can that person help?

他们能帮上什么忙？

Your friends, your family and other people that you love

你的朋友、你的家人和其他 你所爱的人对你的动力至关重要，

are critical for your motivation.

They are your lighthouse.

他们是你的灯塔。

And you are also important for them.

你对他们也很重要。

Let me tell you a love story that resulted in four Nobel Prizes.

让我讲一个 获得四项诺贝尔奖的爱情故事。

When Marie met Pierre Curie,

当玛丽遇见皮埃尔·居里时，

she did not only meet the love of her life.

她不仅遇到了一生挚爱。

She met the person who pushed her to excel in her work

她遇到了推动她在放射性理论研究中 脱颖而出的那个人，

on the theory of radioactivity,

and who later insisted

并坚持让她共同获得诺贝尔奖的人。

that she will be named on the joint Nobel Prize.

That was her first.

那是她的第一个诺贝尔奖。

The second Nobel Prize she won by herself

后来她独自赢得了第二个诺贝尔奖， 没有男性的协助。

with no man by her side.

(Applause)

（掌声）

The couple had two daughters and they wanted them to excel.

这对夫妇育有两个女儿， 并希望她们能出类拔萃。

Their oldest, Irene, won a Nobel Prize with her husband,

大女儿艾琳和她的丈夫一起 赢得了诺贝尔奖，

as was the tradition in the Curie family.

继承了家族传统。

Their youngest, Eve,

小女儿伊芙，无疑是居里家族中 最有艺术气质的人，

and by far the most artistic person in the Curie family,

married someone who won the Nobel Prize

嫁给了一个诺贝尔奖得主， 并在其他许多方面成就斐然。

and excelled in many other ways.

The Curie family did not only teach us about radioactivity,

居里家族不仅教会了我们关于 放射性的知识，

they taught us the importance

还教会了我们

of feeling supported and supporting others in pursuing goals.

感受到支持 和支持他人追求目标的重要性。

In your life,

在生活中，

you work with other people,

你可能和其他人一起工作，

maybe together you take care of your pet.

比如一起照顾宠物。

You work in the presence of other people.

也可能在其他人的陪伴下工作，

Maybe those are the people in your gym class

比如健身房的伙伴 或读书俱乐部的朋友。

or in your book club.

You hold goals for others, they hold goals for you.

你为他们设定目标， 他们也为你设定目标。

This might be a good time to say thank you to the person sitting next to you.

现在或许是对旁边那个人 说声谢谢的好时机。

I will be waiting here.

我会在这里等待。

(Audience murmuring)

（观众低声说）

Give them a pat on the shoulder.

轻拍他们的肩膀。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

My friend came to me not only because I am a motivation scientist,

我的朋友来找我， 不仅因为我是一名动机科学家，

but also because I'm her friend,

还因为我是她的朋友， 我希望她取得成功。

and as such, I wanted her to be successful.

You may wonder what happened to her.

你可能想知道她怎么样了。

Well, she stayed at her job.

她在继续工作。

Last time I saw her, her smile seemed bigger.

上次我见到她时， 她的笑容似乎更灿烂了。

She did not find her motivation.

她没有找到自己的动力，

She learned how to motivate yourself.

她学会了如何激励自己。

And so, no, America, you did not lose your motivation.

所以，不，美国， 你没有失去你的动力。

Each of you is working hard, pursuing your dreams,

你们每个人都在努力工作， 追求自己的梦想，

balancing the different aspects of your life.

平衡生活的方方面面。

And it is so important,

这非常重要，

especially in the world we live in today.

尤其是在我们当今生活的世界中。

So when you feel discouraged, when you feel unmotivated,

因此，当你感到沮丧时， 当你感到没有动力时，

remember, motivation is not about being strong,

请记住，动力不是要坚强，

it is about being wise.

而是要明智。

And now we are all wiser.

而此刻，我们都更明智了。

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause and cheers)

（掌声和欢呼）

Thanks.

谢谢。