3 Things Men Can Do to Promote Gender Equity | Jimmie Briggs | TED

The world can be a toxic place.

No one knows this more than women and girls,

cis and trans,

as well as nonbinary people.

I am a journalist

with 30 years’ experience

reporting on the injustices women and others face around the world.

I’m a co-founder of the Man Up Campaign

to energize youth activism against sexual and gender-based violence.

I’m a father to two daughters,

I’m a life partner to a woman

and I’m a Black man in America.

Holding these identities --

and many more --

I say this call to action to you

with the deepest sincerity

and utmost gravity.

It is time for a gender reckoning,

beginning with men authentically confronting our internal selves

and each other

through the toxicity within us.

Against the backdrop of Black Lives Matter protest,

cries for a racial reckoning have echoed throughout the world,

at times seeming premature

and largely misunderstood.

I believe a true gender reckoning must be the center

of any transformative movement for social justice and equity.

But what is a reckoning?

Dictionaries say it means to resolve a bill or a debt.

In other words, to settle an account.

In the case of women and girls,

what is the debt owed to them?

Who’s to pay it?

And how?

The consequences of male toxicity continue building

the debt to which I refer,

including, among others,

a gender wealth gap most affecting women who care for their families

as well as act as the primary income generators

for their households.

Today, in the United States and abroad,

threats to reproductive justice endanger the lives and hard-fought rights of women

in regards to their bodily, sexual and gender autonomy,

impacting the most disenfranchised community in society.

And violence against women,

in all of its forms,

still represents an existential challenge,

as we’ve seen domestic violence rise in the pandemic,

as people were confined to their homes,

we’ve seen online and public harassment flourish,

unabated.

The sexual trafficking,

prostitution,

exploitation of women and girls thrives as ever before.

From where does this toxicity come

and why?

Men are not endangered,

we’re not under assault,

we’re not being unfairly maligned.

In fact, it’s men, or certain types of masculinity, that are the issue.

To be clear,

being a man does not make me

or anyone else who identifies as a man

inherently toxic.

But masculinity,

in certain forms,

can harm women,

girls,

nonbinary people

and men

through violence,

dominating power

and control.

So how do we address this?

How can we men step up

and better support our daughters,

our sisters,

our female partners,

our colleagues, neighbors and friends?

Through what means can men both instigate and lead a gender reckoning?

First, we must tell the truth.

We must tell the truth.

Men grow into this world becoming who we’re expected to be

or who we think we’re expected to be

based on cultural expectations

and inaccurate historical narratives.

As a short, chubby Black kid wearing glasses growing up,

I was repeatedly told I cried too much.

I’m too emotional,

too soft.

It was ingrained in me that to prove my masculinity

I had to display physical prowess --

intimidation.

Because of that indoctrination,

as an adult,

I refused to seek help facing escalating health challenges,

including high blood pressure

and mental trauma.

The archetype of manhood nearly killed me.

I say that as a survivor of two heart attacks,

four years on dialysis

and a kidney transplant ...

aside from the physical risk I put myself into

covering wars around the world.

The injury we do to ourselves

and the women around us

comes from fear of losing control,

of lack of external affirmation

and simply out of shame.

Manhood is a spectrum of identities.

There is no one way to be a man.

And sometimes, discovering one’s true manhood is a lifelong journey.

Secondly,

we must be consistent.

Men,

especially men of color,

cannot expect women to stand up for us,

with us in the face of systemic oppressions

when too often we do not do the same for them.

(Applause and cheers)

(Applause)

The Black Lives Matter movement for example,

founded, named and led by queer women of color,

still centers Black men’s well-being

in the face of unfair policing

and criminal justice systems.

And where’s the reciprocal support from those men,

including myself,

in addressing intercommunity violence against women of color,

maternal health inequity,

economic disparity?

How and where do men show up for women?

I wonder ...

how many men stood with women on the steps of the US Supreme Court

as they fought for reproductive rights?

How many men should have been there?

Finally, there can be no reckoning without accountability.

There can be no reckoning without accountability.

Men who commit acts of violence against women must be held accountable

by formal systems of justice

as well as other men.

Silence in the face of misogynistic behavior and language is complicity.

We men need to break free from the pack,

take concrete actions to stop violence,

create safety

and build equity.

And most importantly,

say something.

To be sure,

bold men around us are actively working to disrupt the narrative of male toxicity.

After the 2010 earthquake in Haiti,

a local organization,

KOFAVIV,

invited men to be defenders of women and girls in displacement camps,

women and girls who were at risk of sexual assault.

Scores of men answered the call

and can continue to do so today.

In New York City,

CONNECT NYC,

led by a Black man,

actively engages community partners across civil society

to address family violence.

And in a profession not known generally for its advocacy against gender violence,

a professional player for the Washington Football Team

has become an unabashed advocate

for men to learn

and actively change behaviors regarding sexual and physical violence.

There is hope;

there is light.

Men around the world are putting in the work

to catalyze a true gender reckoning.

But far more are needed.

What I want to say to you today is this.

Too many of us --

too many men --

don’t understand

that equity,

justice,

inclusivity,

safety for women, girls and nonbinary people

serves and saves us all.

Broken masculinity harms societies,

full stop.

When we men reckon with that truth,

we will finally find our shared humanity.

Women,

girls,

nonbinary people,

men

standing together on equal footing

with mutual respect

in safe environments

is the greatest gender reckoning we can create.

Thank you.

(Applause and cheers)