How to Set Boundaries in English Communication | English Lesson

47,922 views ใƒป 2023-05-24

Speak Confident English


ไธ‹ใฎ่‹ฑ่ชžๅญ—ๅน•ใ‚’ใƒ€ใƒ–ใƒซใ‚ฏใƒชใƒƒใ‚ฏใ™ใ‚‹ใจๅ‹•็”ปใ‚’ๅ†็”Ÿใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ ็ฟป่จณใ•ใ‚ŒใŸๅญ—ๅน•ใฏๆฉŸๆขฐ็ฟป่จณใงใ™ใ€‚

00:00
Imagine this scenario. You're at work and it's already been a busy week.
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ใ“ใฎใ‚ทใƒŠใƒชใ‚ชใ‚’ๆƒณๅƒใ—ใฆใฟใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ใ‚ใชใŸใฏไป•ไบ‹ไธญใงใ€ ใ™ใงใซๅฟ™ใ—ใ„ไธ€้€ฑ้–“ใŒ็ต‚ใ‚ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
00:05
In fact,
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00:05
you're up to your eyeballs or up to your limit with tasks that are
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ๅฎŸ้š›ใ€ๆ˜Žๆ—ฅ็ท ใ‚ๅˆ‡ใ‚Šใฎใ‚ฟใ‚นใ‚ฏใง
็›ฎไธ€ๆฏใ€ใ‚ใ‚‹ใ„ใฏ ้™็•Œใซ้”ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใซ
00:10
due tomorrow, and then at the end of the day,
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ใ€ไธ€ๆ—ฅใฎ็ต‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใซ
00:13
you get an email from your boss asking you to take on one more major
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ไธŠๅธใ‹ใ‚‰ ใ‚‚ใ† 1 ใคๅคงใใช่ฒฌไปปใ‚’ๅผ•ใๅ—ใ‘ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ๆฑ‚ใ‚ใ‚‹ใƒกใƒผใƒซใŒๅฑŠใใพใ™
00:17
responsibility.
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ใ€‚ ใใฎ็‰นๅฎšใฎ็Šถๆณใง
00:19
How would you describe the way you might feel in that particular situation?
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่‡ชๅˆ†ใŒใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚’ใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซ่ชฌๆ˜Žใ—ใพใ™ใ‹ ?
00:24
Or what about this?
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ใใ‚Œใจใ‚‚ใ“ใ‚Œใฏใฉใ†ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ‹๏ผŸ
00:25
You're at a family event enjoying lively conversation with everyone else,
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ๅฎถๆ—ใฎใ‚คใƒ™ใƒณใƒˆใซๅ‡บๅธญใ—ใ€ ไป–ใฎใฟใ‚“ใชใจๆดป็™บใชไผš่ฉฑใ‚’ๆฅฝใ—ใ‚“ใงใ„ใ‚‹
00:30
and then someone begins to gossip or speak negatively about a fellow
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ใจใ€่ชฐใ‹ใŒๅฎถๆ—ใฎไธ€ๅ“กใซใคใ„ใฆๅ™‚่ฉฑใ‚’ใ—ใŸใ‚Šใ€ๅฆๅฎš็š„ใชใ“ใจใ‚’่ฉฑใ—ๅง‹ใ‚ใŸใ‚Šใ—ใพใ™
00:35
family member.
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ใ€‚
00:37
You no longer feel comfortable engaging in the conversation.
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ไผš่ฉฑใซๅ‚ๅŠ ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใซๆบ€่ถณใงใใชใใชใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
00:41
Both of these situations require the ability to set boundaries and
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ใฉใกใ‚‰ใฎ็Šถๆณใงใ‚‚ใ€
00:46
relationships to maintain emotional and mental health.
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ๆ„Ÿๆƒ…็š„ใŠใ‚ˆใณ็ฒพ็ฅž็š„ใชๅฅๅบทใ‚’็ถญๆŒใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซใ€ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใจไบบ้–“้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’่จญๅฎšใ™ใ‚‹่ƒฝๅŠ›ใŒๅฟ…่ฆใงใ™ใ€‚
00:50
The challenge is how do you communicate those boundaries in English?
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่ชฒ้กŒใฏใ€ ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎๅขƒ็•Œใ‚’่‹ฑ่ชžใงใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซไผใˆใ‚‹ใ‹ใงใ™ใ€‚
00:55
When you don't know the precise language to set boundaries,
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ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’่จญๅฎšใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใฎๆญฃ็ขบใช่จ€่ชžใ‚’็Ÿฅใ‚‰ใชใ„ใจใ€
00:59
you might feel powerless.
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็„กๅŠ›ใซๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ็งใฎ่‡ชไฟกใซๆบ€ใกใŸๅฅณๆ€งใ‚ณใƒŸใƒฅใƒ‹ใƒ†ใ‚ฃๅ†…ใงใฏใ€
01:01
I can tell you boundary setting has been a hot topic of conversation inside my
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ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใฎ่จญๅฎšใŒ็†ฑใ„่ฉฑ้กŒใซใชใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจ่จ€ใˆใพใ™ใ€‚ใใฎ
01:06
Confident Women Community and here's why.
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็†็”ฑใฏๆฌกใฎใจใŠใ‚Šใงใ™ใ€‚
01:09
The ability to set boundaries allows us to have healthier relationships
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ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’่จญๅฎšใงใใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ€ใ‚ˆใ‚Š ๅฅๅ…จใช้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’็ฏ‰ใ
01:14
and have more effective communication.
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ใ€ใ‚ˆใ‚ŠๅŠนๆžœ็š„ใชใ‚ณใƒŸใƒฅใƒ‹ใ‚ฑใƒผใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใŒๅฏ่ƒฝใซใชใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
01:18
That means setting boundaries is an essential skill both professionally
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ใคใพใ‚Šใ€ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’่จญๅฎšใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏใ€ ่ทๆฅญ็š„ใซ
01:23
and personally.
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ใ‚‚ๅ€‹ไบบ็š„ใซใ‚‚ไธๅฏๆฌ ใชใ‚นใ‚ญใƒซใงใ™ใ€‚
01:25
In this Confident English lesson today we're going to explore what boundaries
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ไปŠๆ—ฅใฎใ“ใฎ่‡ชไฟกใฎใ‚ใ‚‹่‹ฑ่ชžใฎใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใงใฏใ€ ๅขƒ็•Œใจใฏไฝ•ใ‹ใ€
01:29
are and why they're important.
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ใใ—ใฆใใ‚ŒใŒใชใœ้‡่ฆใชใฎใ‹ใ‚’ๆŽขใฃใฆใ„ใใพใ™ใ€‚
01:31
This includes a variety of boundary types, including physical boundaries,
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ใ“ใ‚Œใซใฏใ€ ็‰ฉ็†โ€‹โ€‹็š„ใชๅขƒ็•Œใ€
01:36
verbal boundaries, emotional boundaries, and more. More importantly,
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่จ€่‘‰ใซใ‚ˆใ‚‹ๅขƒ็•Œใ€ๆ„Ÿๆƒ…็š„ใช ๅขƒ็•Œใชใฉใ€ใ•ใพใ–ใพใช็จฎ้กžใฎๅขƒ็•ŒใŒๅซใพใ‚Œใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ•ใ‚‰ใซ้‡่ฆใชใฎใฏใ€
01:41
you'll have practical tips you can use to set boundaries and get
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ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’ ่จญๅฎšใ—ใ€ใใฎใŸใ‚ใซ่‹ฑ่ชž
01:46
specific words and phrases we use in English to do this so that you're able to
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ใงไฝฟ็”จใ•ใ‚Œใ‚‹ๅ…ทไฝ“็š„ใชๅ˜่ชžใ‚„ใƒ•ใƒฌใƒผใ‚บใ‚’ๅ–ๅพ—ใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใฎๅฎŸ็”จ็š„ใชใƒ’ใƒณใƒˆใ‚’ๅพ—ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚‹ ใŸใ‚ใ€
01:50
communicate how you feel and what you consider to be acceptable.
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่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๆฐ—ๆŒใกใ‚„ไฝ•ใ‚’ ่จฑๅฎนใงใใ‚‹ใจ่€ƒใˆใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚’ไผใˆใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใชใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
01:55
By the end of this lesson,
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ใ“ใฎใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใŒ็ต‚ใ‚ใ‚‹ใพใงใซใ€ใ‚ˆใ‚Šๅฅๅ…จใงๅŠนๆžœ็š„ใชไบบ้–“้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’็ฏ‰ใใŸใ‚ใซใ€ๅ€‹ไบบ็š„ใซใ‚‚่ทๆฅญ็š„ใซใ‚‚
01:57
you'll be able to communicate your boundaries in English personally and
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่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’่‹ฑ่ชžใงไผใˆใ‚‰ใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใชใ‚Šใพใ™
02:01
professionally for healthier, more effective relationships.
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ใ€‚
02:19
But first, if you don't already know,
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ใพใšใ€ใพใ ใ”ๅญ˜ใ˜ใชใ„ๆ–นใฎใŸใ‚ใซใ€
02:21
I'm Annemarie with Speak Confident English.
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็งใฏ Speak Confident English ใฎ Annemarie ใงใ™ใ€‚
02:23
Everything I do here is designed to help you get the confidence you want for
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็งใŒใ“ใ“ใง่กŒใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏใ™ในใฆใ€
02:28
your life and work in English.
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่‹ฑ่ชžใงใฎ็”Ÿๆดปใ‚„ไป•ไบ‹ใซ่‡ชไฟกใ‚’ๆŒใฆใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็›ฎ็š„ใจใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
02:30
One way I do that is with my weekly Confident English lessons where I share my
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็งใŒใใ‚Œใ‚’ๅฎŸ่ทตใ™ใ‚‹ๆ–นๆณ•ใฎ 1 ใคใฏใ€ๆฏŽ้€ฑใฎ Confident English ใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใงใ™ใ€‚ใ“ใฎใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใงใฏใ€็งใฎ
02:34
top fluency and confidence-building strategies,
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ๆœ€้ซ˜ใฎๆตๆšขใ•ใจ ่‡ชไฟกใ‚’็ฏ‰ใใŸใ‚ใฎๆˆฆ็•ฅใ€
02:37
advanced-level vocabulary lessons,
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ไธŠ็ดšใƒฌใƒ™ใƒซใฎ่ชžๅฝ™ใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใ€
02:40
and training on communication skills just like in this lesson today.
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ใใ—ใฆ ไปŠๆ—ฅใฎใ“ใฎใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ‚ณใƒŸใƒฅใƒ‹ใ‚ฑใƒผใ‚ทใƒงใƒณ ใ‚นใ‚ญใƒซใซ้–ขใ™ใ‚‹ใƒˆใƒฌใƒผใƒ‹ใƒณใ‚ฐใ‚’ๅ…ฑๆœ‰ใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
02:45
So while you're here,
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ใ—ใŸใŒใฃใฆใ€ใ“ใ“ใซใ„ใ‚‹้–“ใ€่‡ชไฟกใฎใ‚ใ‚‹่‹ฑ่ชžใฎใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใ‚’่ฆ‹้€ƒใ•ใชใ„ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ€
02:46
make sure you subscribe to my Speak Confident English YouTube channel so you
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็งใฎ Speak Confident English YouTube ใƒใƒฃใƒณใƒใƒซใซๅฟ…ใš็™ป้Œฒใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„
02:50
never miss one of these Confident English lessons. To get started,
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ใ€‚ ใพใšใ€
02:55
let's briefly review what it means to set a boundary and why this is so
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ๅขƒ็•Œใ‚’่จญๅฎšใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒไฝ•ใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹ใ€ใใ—ใฆใชใœใ“ใ‚ŒใŒใใ‚Œใปใฉ
02:59
important.
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้‡่ฆใชใฎใ‹ใ‚’็ฐกๅ˜ใซ็ขบ่ชใ—ใฆใฟใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
03:01
To set a boundary means to dictate the amount of time, money,
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ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’่จญๅฎšใ™ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใฏใ€่‡ชๅˆ†ใŒไป–ไบบใซไธŽใˆใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚‹ใ€ใพใŸใฏๅ–œใ‚“ใงไธŽใˆใ‚‹ ๆ™‚้–“ใ€ใŠ้‡‘ใ€
03:05
emotional resources,
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ๆ„Ÿๆƒ…็š„ใƒชใ‚ฝใƒผใ‚นใ€
03:07
and energy you can or are willing to give to others.
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ใ‚จใƒใƒซใ‚ฎใƒผใฎ้‡ใ‚’ๆฑบๅฎšใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ—ใพใ™ ใ€‚ ใใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใŒไฝ•
03:12
When we communicate what those boundaries are,
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ใชใฎใ‹ใ‚’ไผใˆใ‚‹ใจใ ใ€
03:15
we set clear expectations for others and that leads to
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็งใŸใกใฏไป–่€…ใซๅฏพใ—ใฆๆ˜Ž็ขบใชๆœŸๅพ…ใ‚’ๆŒใกใ€ ใใ‚ŒใŒ
03:20
healthier relationships at home, in the workplace and in the community.
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ๅฎถๅบญใ€ ่ทๅ ดใ€ๅœฐๅŸŸ็คพไผšใซใŠใ‘ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ‚Šๅฅๅ…จใชไบบ้–“้–ขไฟ‚ใซใคใชใŒใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
03:25
Those boundaries also protect us from harm and stress.
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ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใฏใ€ ็งใŸใกใ‚’ๅฑๅฎณใ‚„ใ‚นใƒˆใƒฌใ‚นใ‹ใ‚‰ๅฎˆใฃใฆใใ‚Œใพใ™ใ€‚
03:30
They promote wellbeing and also help us maintain better work life balance.
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ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฏๅนธ็ฆใ‚’ไฟƒ้€ฒใ—ใ€ ใ‚ˆใ‚Š่‰ฏใ„ใƒฏใƒผใ‚ฏใƒฉใ‚คใƒ•ใƒใƒฉใƒณใ‚นใ‚’็ถญๆŒใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใซใ‚‚ๅฝน็ซ‹ใกใพใ™ใ€‚
03:35
When we first begin the process of establishing what
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็งใŸใกใŒ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’็ขบ็ซ‹ใ™ใ‚‹ใƒ—ใƒญใ‚ปใ‚นใ‚’ๆœ€ๅˆใซๅง‹ใ‚ใ‚‹ใจใ
03:40
our boundaries are, we need to take into account our personal values,
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ใ€็งใŸใกใฏ ๅ€‹ไบบใฎไพกๅ€ค่ฆณใ€
03:44
wants and needs.
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ๆฌฒๆฑ‚ใ€ใƒ‹ใƒผใ‚บใ‚’่€ƒๆ…ฎใ™ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
03:47
It's also important to remember there are multiple types of boundaries,
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ใพใŸใ€ ๅขƒ็•Œใซใฏใ€
03:51
including physical, emotional, time, and mental,
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่บซไฝ“็š„ใ€ ๆ„Ÿๆƒ…็š„ใ€ๆ™‚้–“็š„ใ€็ฒพ็ฅž็š„ใ€ๆ€ง็š„ใ€็ฒพ็ฅž็š„ใ€
03:56
sexual,
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03:57
spiritual and religious and financial or material boundaries.
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ๅฎ—ๆ•™็š„ใ€็ตŒๆธˆ็š„ใ€ ็‰ฉ่ณช็š„ใชๅขƒ็•Œใชใฉใ€่ค‡ๆ•ฐใฎ็จฎ้กžใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’่ฆšใˆใฆใŠใใ“ใจใ‚‚้‡่ฆใงใ™ใ€‚
04:03
Now,
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04:03
one thing I want to be careful of is confusing a boundary with this
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ใ“ใ“ใงใ€
็งใŒๆณจๆ„ใ—ใŸใ„ใฎใฏใ€
04:08
idea of being rigid or unwilling to budge,
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ๅŽณๆ ผใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ€ใพใŸใฏๅ‹•ใ“ใ†ใจใ—ใชใ„ใ€
04:12
unwilling to compromise.
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ๅฆฅๅ”ใ—ใŸใใชใ„ใจใ„ใ†่€ƒใˆใจใฎๅขƒ็•Œใ‚’ๆททๅŒใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚
04:15
A better way to think about boundaries is that they're dynamic and they
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ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใซใคใ„ใฆ่€ƒใˆใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ‚Š่‰ฏใ„ๆ–นๆณ•ใฏใ€ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใฏ ๅ‹•็š„ใงใ‚ใ‚Šใ€
04:20
reflect where you currently are in your personal growth, values,
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ๅ€‹ไบบ็š„ใชๆˆ้•ทใ€ไพกๅ€ค่ฆณใ€
04:24
needs, and so on.
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ใƒ‹ใƒผใ‚บใชใฉใฎ็พๅœจใฎไฝ็ฝฎใ‚’ๅๆ˜ ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚
04:27
All of that can change over the course of your life or even within a
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ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใ™ในใฆใฏใ€ไบบ็”Ÿใฎไธญใงใ€ใ‚ใ‚‹ใ„ใฏ็ŸญๆœŸ้–“ใงใ•ใˆใ‚‚ๅค‰ๅŒ–ใ™ใ‚‹ๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™
04:31
short period of time. In fact,
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ใ€‚ ๅฎŸ้š›ใ€
04:34
as your comfort zone expands or even shrinks,
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ใ‚ณใƒณใƒ•ใ‚ฉใƒผใƒˆใ‚พใƒผใƒณใŒ ๆ‹กๅคงใ—ใŸใ‚Š็ธฎๅฐใ—ใŸใ‚Šใ™ใ‚‹ใจใ€
04:39
your boundaries will change as well. With that in mind,
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ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚‚ๅค‰ๅŒ–ใ—ใพใ™ ใ€‚ ใใ‚Œใ‚’ๅฟต้ ญใซ็ฝฎใ„ใฆใ€่‹ฑ่ชžใงๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’่จญๅฎšใ—็ถญๆŒใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซไฝฟ็”จใงใใ‚‹
04:43
I want to share with you four simple steps that you can use to help you set
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4 ใคใฎ็ฐกๅ˜ใชใ‚นใƒ†ใƒƒใƒ—ใ‚’ๅ…ฑๆœ‰ใ—ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™
04:48
and maintain boundaries in English. First, analyze the problem.
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ใ€‚ ใพใšใ€ๅ•้กŒใ‚’ๅˆ†ๆžใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
04:54
Second, define your boundary. Circle third,
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ๆฌกใซใ€ๅขƒ็•Œใ‚’ๅฎš็พฉใ—ใพใ™ ใ€‚ 3 ็•ช็›ฎใซไธธใ‚’ไป˜ใ‘ใฆใ€
04:58
communicate with clarity and finally reinforce your boundaries.
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ๆ˜Ž็ขบใซใ‚ณใƒŸใƒฅใƒ‹ใ‚ฑใƒผใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใ‚’ใจใ‚Šใ€ ๆœ€ๅพŒใซ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’ๅผทๅŒ–ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
05:03
I want to take time to explore each one in depth and look at specific language
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ๆ™‚้–“ใ‚’ใ‹ใ‘ใฆใใ‚Œใžใ‚Œใ‚’ๆทฑใๆŽขๆฑ‚ใ—ใ€ไป–ใฎ่จ€่ชžใจใฎๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’
05:08
we use in English to set boundaries with others.
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่จญๅฎšใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซ่‹ฑ่ชžใงไฝฟ็”จใ•ใ‚Œใ‚‹็‰นๅฎšใฎ่จ€่ชžใ‚’่ฆ‹ใฆใ„ใใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™ ใ€‚
05:13
So step number one, analyze the problem.
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ใ—ใŸใŒใฃใฆใ€ใ‚นใƒ†ใƒƒใƒ— 1 ใฏๅ•้กŒใ‚’ๅˆ†ๆžใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚ ๆœฌๅฝ“ใฎๅ•้กŒใŒไฝ•ใชใฎใ‹ใ‚’็Ÿฅใ‚‹ใพใงใฏใ€ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’
05:17
We cannot effectively communicate boundaries until we know what the
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ๅŠนๆžœ็š„ใซไผใˆใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏใงใใพใ›ใ‚“
05:22
real issue is.
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ใ€‚
05:23
Let me go back to that scenario I described at the beginning of the lesson.
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ใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใฎๅ†’้ ญใง่ชฌๆ˜Žใ—ใŸใ‚ทใƒŠใƒชใ‚ชใซๆˆปใ‚Šใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
05:28
You're at work, you're already overwhelmed with tasks,
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏไป•ไบ‹ไธญใงใ€ใ™ใงใซใ‚ฟใ‚นใ‚ฏใซ ๅœงๅ€’ใ•ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใซใ€
05:31
and then your boss asks you to take on one more. In the moment,
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ไธŠๅธใ‹ใ‚‰ใ‚‚ใ† 1 ใคๅผ•ใๅ—ใ‘ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†้ ผใพใ‚Œใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ ใใฎ็žฌ้–“ใ€
05:36
you might feel immediate exasperation, anger, frustration,
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏๅณๅบงใซ ๆ†คใ‚Šใ€ๆ€’ใ‚Šใ€ใƒ•ใƒฉใ‚นใƒˆใƒฌใƒผใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใ€
05:40
or overwhelm. In fact,
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ใพใŸใฏๅœงๅ€’ใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ๅฎŸ้š›ใ€
05:42
the emotion might be so strong that you can't even communicate it.
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ใใฎๆ„Ÿๆƒ…ใŒๅผทใ™ใŽใฆ ไผใˆใ‚‰ใ‚Œใชใ„ใ“ใจใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ไฝ•ใŒ้–“้•ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹ใ‚’ไผใˆใ‚‹ใฎใซ
05:46
You feel paralyzed or powerless in communicating what is
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้บป็—บใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€ใพใŸใฏ็„กๅŠ›ใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใจๆ„Ÿใ˜ใพใ™
05:51
wrong. To help you gain control and clarity,
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ใ€‚ ใ‚ณใƒณใƒˆใƒญใƒผใƒซใจๆ˜Ž็ขบใ•ใ‚’ๅพ—ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซใ€
05:55
there are a few questions you can ask and in asking these questions,
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ใ„ใใคใ‹ใฎ่ณชๅ• ใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎ่ณชๅ•ใ‚’ใ—ใ€
06:00
in taking time to reflect on them,
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ๆ™‚้–“ใ‚’ใ‹ใ‘ใฆ็†Ÿ่€ƒใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ€
06:03
you can identify what the real problem is and begin to determine
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ๆœฌๅฝ“ใฎๅ•้กŒใŒไฝ•ใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚’็‰นๅฎšใ—ใ€ไปฃๆ›ฟๆกˆใ‚„
06:07
alternatives as well as what is the boundary that you need to communicate to
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ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’ๆฑบๅฎšใ—ๅง‹ใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ ไป–ใฎไบบใซไผใˆใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจ
06:12
others.
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ใ€‚
06:14
The questions you can analyze include what is the problem?
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ๅˆ†ๆžใงใใ‚‹่ณชๅ•ใซใฏใ€ ๅ•้กŒใฏไฝ•ใงใ™ใ‹? ใชใฉใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
06:19
What just happened in that situation that led to the feeling that
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ใใฎ็Šถๆณใงไฝ•ใŒ่ตทใ“ใฃใŸใฎใงใ€
06:23
something was wrong or done inappropriately? The second question,
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ไฝ•ใ‹ใŒ้–“้•ใฃใฆใ„ใŸใ€ใพใŸใฏไธ้ฉๅˆ‡ใซ่กŒใ‚ใ‚ŒใŸใจๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใชใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸใ‹ ? 2 ็•ช็›ฎใฎ่ณชๅ•ใฏใ€
06:29
why is this a problem? Why is it unacceptable to you?
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ใชใœใ“ใ‚ŒใŒๅ•้กŒใซใชใ‚‹ใฎใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ‹? ใชใœ ใใ‚ŒใŒใ‚ใชใŸใซใจใฃใฆๅ—ใ‘ๅ…ฅใ‚Œใ‚‰ใ‚Œใชใ„ใฎใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ‹๏ผŸ ใใ‚Œใฏ
06:34
What value, belief, want or need does it overstep?
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ใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใชไพกๅ€คใ€ไฟกๅฟตใ€ๆฌฒๆฑ‚ใ€ ใพใŸใฏๅฟ…่ฆๆ€งใ‚’่ถ…ใˆใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ‹?
06:40
Question number three,
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่ณชๅ•ใใฎ3ใ€‚
06:41
what is preventing you from accepting this individual's
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ใ“ใฎๅ€‹ไบบใฎ
06:46
comment or request? And question four,
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ใ‚ณใƒกใƒณใƒˆใ‚„ใƒชใ‚ฏใ‚จใ‚นใƒˆใ‚’ๅ—ใ‘ๅ…ฅใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๅฆจใ’ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใฏไฝ•ใงใ™ใ‹? ่ณชๅ• 4 ใฏใ€
06:49
what do you need or what do you want to solve this problem?
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ใ“ใฎๅ•้กŒใ‚’่งฃๆฑบใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซไฝ•ใŒๅฟ…่ฆใงใ™ใ‹ใ€ใพใŸใฏไฝ•ใ‚’ๆœ›ใ‚“ใงใ„ใพใ™ใ‹? ไป•ไบ‹ใง่ฟฝๅŠ ใฎใ‚ฟใ‚นใ‚ฏใ‚’ไปปใ•ใ‚ŒใŸใฐใ‹ใ‚Šใงใ€ใใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใช็Šถๆณใซใ‚ใ‚‹ไบบใซใจใฃใฆใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎ่ณชๅ•ใซๅฏพใ™ใ‚‹
06:54
Let me share with you what some possible answers to those questions might be for
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่€ƒใˆใ‚‰ใ‚Œใ‚‹็ญ”ใˆใ‚’ใ„ใใคใ‹็ดนไป‹ใ—ใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†
06:59
someone in that situation who just got an extra task at work.
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ใ€‚
07:04
An answer to question number one, what is the problem might be,
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่ณชๅ• 1 ใซๅฏพใ™ใ‚‹็ญ”ใˆใฏใ€ ไฝ•ใŒๅ•้กŒใชใฎใ‹ใจใ„ใ†ใจใ€
07:09
I already have several tasks to complete and I can't take on one more.
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ใ™ใงใซใ„ใใคใ‹ใฎใ‚ฟใ‚นใ‚ฏใ‚’ ๅฎŒไบ†ใ—ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚‰ใšใ€ใ‚‚ใ† 1 ใคใ‚’ๅผ•ใๅ—ใ‘ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใชใ„ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚
07:14
Why is this a problem?
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ใชใœใ“ใ‚ŒใŒๅ•้กŒใซใชใ‚‹ใฎใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ‹?
07:16
Because I've already taken on a lot of extra tasks and taking on
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ใชใœใชใ‚‰ใ€็งใฏใ™ใงใซ ๅคšใใฎ่ฟฝๅŠ ใฎใ‚ฟใ‚นใ‚ฏใ‚’ๅผ•ใๅ—ใ‘ใฆใŠใ‚Šใ€
07:21
one more might mean that these other priorities will get put on the back
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ใ•ใ‚‰ใซใ‚‚ใ† 1 ใคๅผ•ใๅ—ใ‘ใ‚‹ใจใ€ไป–ใฎ ๅ„ชๅ…ˆไบ‹้ …ใŒๅพŒๅ›žใ—ใซใชใ‚‹ๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™
07:26
burner. The third question was,
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ใ€‚ 3 ็•ช็›ฎใฎ่ณชๅ•ใฏใ€ไป–
07:28
what might prevent you from accepting someone else's comment or request?
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ใฎไบบใฎใ‚ณใƒกใƒณใƒˆใ‚„ใƒชใ‚ฏใ‚จใ‚นใƒˆใ‚’ๅ—ใ‘ๅ…ฅใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๅฆจใ’ใ‚‹ใ‚‚ใฎใฏไฝ•ใงใ™ใ‹?ใจใ„ใ†ใ‚‚ใฎใงใ—ใŸใ€‚
07:33
And an answer in this particular scenario might be limited time
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ใ“ใฎ็‰นๅฎšใฎใ‚ทใƒŠใƒชใ‚ชใซใŠใ‘ใ‚‹็ญ”ใˆใฏใ€ ๆ™‚้–“ใจๅฎน้‡ใŒ้™ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“
07:39
and capacity.
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ใ€‚ ใ“ใฎ่ฟฝๅŠ ใ‚ฟใ‚นใ‚ฏใ‚’ๅฎŒไบ†ใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใซ
07:40
You might feel that there isn't enough time or mental resources available
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ๅๅˆ†ใชๆ™‚้–“ใ‚„็ฒพ็ฅž็š„ใƒชใ‚ฝใƒผใ‚นใŒใชใ„ใจๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“
07:45
to complete this additional task. And finally, the last question,
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ใ€‚ ใใ—ใฆๆœ€ๅพŒใฎ่ณชๅ•ใงใ™ใŒใ€
07:50
what do you want or need to solve this problem? An answer to that might be,
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ใ“ใฎๅ•้กŒใ‚’่งฃๆฑบใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซไฝ•ใŒๆฌฒใ—ใ„ใงใ™ใ‹ใ€ใ‚ใ‚‹ใ„ใฏไฝ•ใŒๅฟ…่ฆใงใ™ใ‹ ? ใใ‚Œใซๅฏพใ™ใ‚‹็ญ”ใˆใฏใ€ใ€Œ
07:55
I need this task to be delegated to someone else,
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ใ“ใฎใ‚ฟใ‚นใ‚ฏใฏ ไป–ใฎไบบใซๅง”ไปปใ™ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ€‚
07:59
and perhaps you need your manager to understand that you're already at capacity.
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ใŠใใ‚‰ใใ€ ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎ่ƒฝๅŠ›ใŒใ™ใงใซ้™็•Œใซ้”ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ไธŠๅธใซ็†่งฃใ—ใฆใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใ†ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ€ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
08:05
Now, your answers to those questions are just for you.
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ใ•ใฆใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎ่ณชๅ•ใซๅฏพใ™ใ‚‹ใ‚ใชใŸใฎ็ญ”ใˆใฏ ใ‚ใชใŸใ ใ‘ใฎใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™ใ€‚
08:08
They're helping you gain clarity on what the problem is so that you can
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ๅ•้กŒใŒไฝ•ใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚’ๆ˜Ž็ขบใซใ—ใฆใ€
08:13
communicate your boundaries with clarity. But before we do that,
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่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’ ๆ˜Ž็ขบใซไผใˆใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซๆ”ฏๆดใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใŸใ ใ—ใ€ใใฎๅ‰ใซใ€
08:17
we need to go on to step two, define your boundary circle.
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ใ‚นใƒ†ใƒƒใƒ— 2 ใซ้€ฒใฟใ€ ๅขƒ็•Œๅ††ใ‚’ๅฎš็พฉใ™ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
08:22
Creating or defining your boundary circle is a journaling exercise that can
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ๅขƒ็•Œๅ††ใ‚’ไฝœๆˆใพใŸใฏๅฎš็พฉใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏใ€
08:27
help you visualize what is acceptable and unacceptable to you.
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่‡ชๅˆ†ใซใจใฃใฆ่จฑๅฎนใงใใ‚‹ใ‚‚ใฎใจ่จฑๅฎนใงใใชใ„ใ‚‚ใฎใ‚’่ฆ–่ฆšๅŒ–ใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใซๅฝน็ซ‹ใคๆ—ฅ่จ˜ใฎ็ทด็ฟ’ใงใ™ใ€‚
08:32
And if this is something you're interested in,
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ใ“ใ‚Œ ใซ่ˆˆๅ‘ณใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใฏใ€ๅขƒ็•Œๅ††ใ‚’ๅฎš็พฉใ™ใ‚‹
08:35
I want to walk through step by step how you can define your boundary circle.
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ๆ–นๆณ•ใ‚’ๆฎต้šŽ็š„ใซ่ชฌๆ˜Žใ—ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™ ใ€‚
08:40
To do this, you'll need a piece of paper and a pen or a pencil,
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ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚’่กŒใ†ใซใฏใ€ ็ด™ใจใƒšใƒณใพใŸใฏ้‰›็ญ†ใŒๅฟ…่ฆใงใ™ใ€‚
08:44
and first you'll start by drawing a circle on your piece of paper.
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ใพใšใ€ ็ด™ใซๅ††ใ‚’ๆใใพใ™ใ€‚
08:49
Inside the circle you'll write down anything you might need to feel
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ใ‚ตใƒผใ‚ฏใƒซใฎไธญใซใ€ไป–ใฎไบบใ‹ใ‚‰
08:54
safe, supported, seen, and heard by others.
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ๅฎ‰ๅ…จใ€ใ‚ตใƒใƒผใƒˆใ€่ฆ‹ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใ€่žใ„ใฆ ใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใˆใ‚‹ใจๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซๅฟ…่ฆใชใ‚‚ใฎใ‚’ใ™ในใฆๆ›ธใ็•™ใ‚ใพใ™ใ€‚
08:59
These can be others in your personal life or in your professional life.
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ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฏใ‚ใชใŸใฎ ็ง็”Ÿๆดปใ‚„ไป•ไบ‹ไธŠใฎไป–ไบบใงใ‚ใ‚‹ๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
09:04
Outside the circle,
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ใ‚ตใƒผใ‚ฏใƒซใฎๅค–ใงใฏใ€
09:05
you'll write down anything you find intolerable,
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่€ใˆใ‚‰ใ‚Œใชใ„ใ“ใจใ€
09:09
uncomfortable or likely to drain your resources.
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ไธๅฟซใชใ“ใจใ€ใพใŸใฏ ใƒชใ‚ฝใƒผใ‚นใ‚’ๆถˆ่€—ใ—ใใ†ใชใ“ใจใ‚’ใ™ในใฆๆ›ธใ็•™ใ‚ใพใ™ใ€‚
09:15
Let me give you an example using a real life scenario.
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ๅฎŸ้š›ใฎใ‚ทใƒŠใƒชใ‚ชใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จใ—ใŸไพ‹ใ‚’็คบใ—ใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
09:19
Let's say you have a close family member who consistently
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ใŸใจใˆใฐใ€
09:24
disregards your dietary needs or preferences. In fact,
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฎ้ฃŸไบ‹ใฎใƒ‹ใƒผใ‚บ ใ‚„ๅฅฝใฟใ‚’ๅธธใซ็„ก่ฆ–ใ™ใ‚‹่ฟ‘่ฆช่€…ใŒใ„ใ‚‹ใจใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ ๅฎŸ้š›ใ€
09:29
maybe at family gatherings,
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ๅฎถๆ—ใฎ้›†ใพใ‚Šใงใฏใ€
09:30
they totally ignore your dietary needs and as a result,
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฎ้ฃŸไบ‹ใฎใƒ‹ใƒผใ‚บใŒๅฎŒๅ…จใซ็„ก่ฆ–ใ•ใ‚Œใ€ใใฎ ็ตๆžœใ€
09:35
your options are extremely limited.
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้ธๆŠž่‚ขใŒ้žๅธธใซ้™ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใ‚‹ๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
09:37
There may be times you can't even enjoy eating with others.
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่ชฐใ‹ใจไธ€็ท’ใซ้ฃŸไบ‹ใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ™ใ‚‰ๆฅฝใ—ใ‚ใชใ„ใ“ใจใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
09:42
As you aim to define your boundary,
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่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’ๆ˜Ž็ขบใซใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซใ€
09:44
circle some of the things you might include inside the circle include
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09:50
no judgment,
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ๅˆคๆ–ญใ‚’ไธ‹ใ•ใชใ„ใ“ใจใ€
09:52
a willingness to ask about your dietary needs and how they can meet them.
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้ฃŸไบ‹ใฎ ใƒ‹ใƒผใ‚บใจใใ‚Œใ‚’ใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซๆบ€ใŸใ™ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚‹ใ‹ใซใคใ„ใฆๅ–œใ‚“ใงๅฐ‹ใญใ‚‹ใชใฉใ€ๅ††ใฎไธญใซๅซใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚‹ใ„ใใคใ‹ใฎ้ …็›ฎใ‚’ไธธใงๅ›ฒใ‚“ใงใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
09:57
Clear communication and open dialogue and
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ๆ˜Ž็ขบใชใ‚ณใƒŸใƒฅใƒ‹ใ‚ฑใƒผใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใ€ใ‚ชใƒผใƒ—ใƒณใชๅฏพ่ฉฑใจ
10:01
acceptance.
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ๅ—ใ‘ๅ…ฅใ‚Œใ€‚
10:03
Those are the things you might include inside the circle to help you feel safe,
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ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฏใ€ ใ‚ตใƒผใ‚ฏใƒซใฎๅค–ใซใ„ใ‚‹ๅฎถๆ—ใฎใƒกใƒณใƒใƒผใ‹ใ‚‰ๅฎ‰ๅ…จใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ€
10:07
supported, seen,
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ใ‚ตใƒใƒผใƒˆใ•ใ‚Œใ€่ฆ‹ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใ€่ฉฑใ‚’่žใ„ใฆใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใˆใ‚‹
10:09
and heard by a fellow family member outside the circle.
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ใจๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซใ€ใ‚ตใƒผใ‚ฏใƒซๅ†…ใซๅซใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚‹ใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™ ใ€‚
10:14
The unacceptable,
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ๅ—ใ‘ๅ…ฅใ‚Œใ‚‰ใ‚Œใชใ„ใ“ใจใ€
10:15
the intolerable might be jokes about your dietary needs
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่€ใˆใ‚‰ใ‚Œใชใ„ใ“ใจใฏใ€ ้ฃŸไบ‹ใฎๅฟ…่ฆๆ€งใซ้–ขใ™ใ‚‹ๅ†—่ซ‡ใ‚„ใ€
10:21
or pressure to eat other foods.
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ไป–ใฎ้ฃŸใน็‰ฉใ‚’้ฃŸในใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ๅœงๅŠ›ใ‚’ใ‹ใ‘ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
10:24
Those words outside the circle might also include judgment,
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่ผชใฎๅค–ใฎ่จ€่‘‰ใซใฏใ€ ๆ‰นๅˆคใ€็†่งฃใ—ใ‚ˆใ†ใจใ—ใชใ„ๆ…‹ๅบฆใ€ไธๅฝ“ใพใŸใฏไธ้ฉๅˆ‡ใชใ‚ณใƒกใƒณใƒˆใ‚‚ๅซใพใ‚Œใ‚‹ๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™
10:28
an unwillingness to understand and underhanded or
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10:33
inappropriate comments. Once you've completed those first two steps,
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ใ€‚ ๆœ€ๅˆใฎ 2 ใคใฎใ‚นใƒ†ใƒƒใƒ—ใ‚’ๅฎŒไบ†ใ—ใ€
10:39
gaining clarity on what the specific problem is and gaining clarity
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ๅ…ทไฝ“็š„ใช ๅ•้กŒใŒไฝ•ใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚’ๆ˜Ž็ขบใซใ—ใ€่ธใฟ่ถŠใˆใŸ
10:44
on the values, beliefs, needs or wants that have been overstepped,
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ไพกๅ€ค่ฆณใ€ไฟกๅฟตใ€ใƒ‹ใƒผใ‚บใ€ ๆฌฒๆฑ‚ใ‚’ๆ˜Ž็ขบใซใ—ใŸใ‚‰ใ€
10:49
then we can go on to step three, communicate with clarity.
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ใ‚นใƒ†ใƒƒใƒ— 3 ใซ้€ฒใฟใ€ๆ˜Ž็ขบใซใ‚ณใƒŸใƒฅใƒ‹ใ‚ฑใƒผใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใ‚’ๅ›ณใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚
10:53
What this means is it's time for you to communicate your boundary to others
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ใ“ใ‚ŒใŒๆ„ๅ‘ณใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใฏใ€่‡ชๅˆ† ใฎๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’ไป–ใฎไบบใซไผใˆใ€
10:58
to set clear expectations,
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ๆ˜Ž็ขบใชๆœŸๅพ…ใ‚’่จญๅฎšใ™ใ‚‹ๆ™‚ๆœŸใŒๆฅใŸใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚’่กŒใ†
11:01
and here are four tips to help you do that. First,
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ใŸใ‚ใฎ 4 ใคใฎใƒ’ใƒณใƒˆใ‚’ใ“ใ“ใซ็คบใ—ใพใ™ ใ€‚ ใพใšใ€
11:05
it's important to clearly state what the boundary is.
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ๅขƒ็•ŒใŒไฝ•ใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚’ๆ˜Ž็ขบใซ็คบใ™ใ“ใจใŒ้‡่ฆใงใ™ใ€‚
11:09
Second, you can provide a clear reason. Third,
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2 ใค็›ฎใฏใ€ ๆ˜Ž็ขบใช็†็”ฑใ‚’ๆไพ›ใงใใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚ ็ฌฌไธ‰ใซใ€
11:14
be sure to use eye centered language and finally,
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ๅฟ…ใš็›ฎใ‚’ไธญๅฟƒใจใ—ใŸ ่จ€่‘‰ใ‚’ไฝฟใ„ใ€ๆœ€ๅพŒใซ
11:19
build comfort or cultivate the courage.
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ๅฎ‰ๅฟƒๆ„Ÿใ‚’้ซ˜ใ‚ใŸใ‚Šใ€ๅ‹‡ๆฐ—ใ‚’้คŠใฃใŸใ‚Šใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
11:22
You need to say no when you need to say no.
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ใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ†ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใจใใฏ ใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ†ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
11:26
Before we take a look at a couple of example scenarios,
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ใ„ใใคใ‹ใฎใ‚ทใƒŠใƒชใ‚ชไพ‹ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใฆใฟใ‚‹ๅ‰ใซใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎๅขƒ็•Œใ‚’ๆ˜Ž็ขบใซไผใˆใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซ่‹ฑ่ชžใงไฝฟ็”จใงใใ‚‹ใƒ•ใƒฌใƒผใ‚บใ‚’
11:29
I want to share with you several phrases we can use in English to clearly
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ใ„ใใคใ‹ๅ…ฑๆœ‰ใ—ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™
11:34
communicate these boundaries. Here are some examples you can consider.
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ใ€‚ ไปฅไธ‹ใซ ๆคœ่จŽใงใใ‚‹ไพ‹ใ‚’ใ„ใใคใ‹็คบใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
11:40
I don't feel comfortable with X because for example,
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็งใŒ X ใซไธๅฟซๆ„Ÿใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚‹ใฎใฏใ€ใŸใจใˆใฐใ€
11:44
I don't feel comfortable with how you make jokes about my dietary needs because,
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ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ ็งใฎ้ฃŸไบ‹ใฎๅฟ…่ฆๆ€งใซใคใ„ใฆๅ†—่ซ‡ใ‚’่จ€ใ†ใฎใŒไธๅฟซใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™ใ€‚
11:50
or I value your thoughts on this and I would feel more comfortable if
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ใพใŸใฏใ€็งใฏใ“ใ‚Œใซใคใ„ใฆใฎใ‚ใชใŸใฎ่€ƒใˆใ‚’ๅฐŠ้‡ใ—ใฆใŠใ‚Šใ€3 ็•ช็›ฎใฎๆง‹้€ ใŒๆฌกใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใชใ‚‚ใฎใงใ‚ใ‚Œ ใฐใ€ใ‚ˆใ‚Šๅฟซ้ฉใซๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ€Œ
11:56
a third structure might be I feel X when I feel
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12:01
hurt when you make jokes followed by because the reason,
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ๅ†—่ซ‡ใ‚’่จ€ใ‚ใ‚Œใฆๅ‚ทใคใ„ใŸใจใใฏ Xใ€ใ€ ๆฌกใซใ€Œใใฎ็†็”ฑใ€ใ€
12:05
and then finally, please don't do Y.
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ใใ—ใฆๆœ€ๅพŒใซใ€Œใ‚„ใ‚ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€ใ€ŒYใ€ใŒ็ถšใใพใ™ใ€‚
12:08
This is where we're communicating the boundary. Please don't make jokes about,
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ใ“ใ“ใง ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’ไผใˆใพใ™ใ€‚ ๅ†—่ซ‡ใฏ่จ€ใ‚ใชใ„ใงใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
12:14
and finally,
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ใใ—ใฆๆœ€ๅพŒใซใ€
12:15
I would appreciate it if you could do X because those four
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X ใ‚’ใ—ใฆใ„ใŸใ ใ‘ใ‚Œใฐๅนธใ„ใงใ™ใ€‚ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ 4 ใคใฎ
12:20
phrases are excellent ways to communicate your boundaries and they're using that
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ใƒ•ใƒฌใƒผใ‚บใฏ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’ไผใˆใ‚‹ๅ„ชใ‚ŒใŸๆ–นๆณ•ใงใ‚ใ‚Š ใ€
12:25
I centered language.
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I ไธญๅฟƒใฎ่จ€่‘‰ใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™ใ€‚
12:27
What that means is rather than me point the finger and blame someone else,
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ใใ‚ŒใŒๆ„ๅ‘ณใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใฏใ€็งใŒ ่ชฐใ‹ใ‚’้ž้›ฃใ—ใฆ่ฒฌใ‚ใ‚‹ใฎใงใฏใชใใ€
12:32
I'm keeping the focus on how I feel and what I expect or need out of
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่‡ชๅˆ†ใŒใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ€
12:37
different situations. Now, I mentioned that when setting clear boundaries,
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ใ•ใพใ–ใพใช็Šถๆณใ‹ใ‚‰ไฝ•ใ‚’ๆœŸๅพ…ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ€ไฝ•ใ‚’ๅฟ…่ฆใจใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใซ็„ฆ็‚นใ‚’ๅฝ“ใฆ็ถšใ‘ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ•ใฆใ€ ๆ˜Ž็ขบใชๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’่จญๅฎšใ™ใ‚‹ใจใใฏใ€ๆ™‚ใซใฏใƒŽใƒผใจ
12:41
we may also need to say no from time to time,
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่จ€ใ†ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใชใ„ใจ่ฟฐในใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
12:45
and if you're unsure of how to say no politely in English,
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่‹ฑ่ชžใงไธๅฏงใซใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ†ๆ–นๆณ•ใŒใ‚ใ‹ใ‚‰ใชใ„ๅ ดๅˆใซใ€
12:49
here are a few phrases you can use. Number one,
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ไฝฟ็”จใงใใ‚‹ใƒ•ใƒฌใƒผใ‚บใ‚’ใ„ใใคใ‹็ดนไป‹ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ ็ฌฌไธ€ใซใ€
12:54
thank you for thinking of me. However,
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็งใฎใ“ใจใ‚’่€ƒใˆใฆใใ‚Œใฆใ‚ใ‚ŠใŒใจใ†ใ€‚ ใŸใ ใ—ใ€
12:56
this is something I am unable to do at this time because,
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ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ ็พๆ™‚็‚นใงใฏใงใใชใ„ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚ใชใœใชใ‚‰ใ€
13:00
and then provide a simple reason for why you're saying no.
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ใ‚ใชใŸใŒใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹็†็”ฑใ‚’็ฐกๅ˜ใซ่ชฌๆ˜Žใ™ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™ใ€‚
13:04
It doesn't have to be too personal, nor does it need to be in depth,
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ใ‚ใพใ‚Šใซใ‚‚ๅ€‹ไบบ็š„ใชใ‚‚ใฎใงใ‚ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใ‚‚ใ€ ๆทฑใ„ใ‚‚ใฎใงใ‚ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“
13:08
but there does need to be some simple reason for saying no.
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ใŒใ€ ใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ†ๅ˜็ด”ใช็†็”ฑใŒๅฟ…่ฆใงใ™ใ€‚
13:13
A second way to say no is no,
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ใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ† 2 ็•ช็›ฎใฎๆ–นๆณ•ใฏใ€ใ€ŒใƒŽใƒผใงใ™ใ€‚
13:16
I can't do X at this point in time. Right now I'm,
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็พๆ™‚็‚นใงใฏ X ใ‚’่กŒใ†ใ“ใจใฏใงใใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€ใงใ™ ใ€‚ ็พๆ™‚็‚นใงใฏ็งใŒใใ†ใงใ™ใ€‚
13:20
and then you might include what you're currently focused on or doing,
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ๆฌกใซใ€ ็พๅœจ้›†ไธญใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ€ใพใŸใฏ่กŒใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ€
13:25
and a third option, I understand the urgency of your request.
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ใใ—ใฆ 3 ็•ช็›ฎใฎใ‚ชใƒ—ใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใจใ—ใฆใ€ ใ”่ฆๆœ›ใฎ็ทŠๆ€ฅๆ€งใ‚’็†่งฃใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
13:31
Unfortunately,
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ๆฎ‹ๅฟตใชใŒใ‚‰ใ€
13:32
I'm at full capacity and I can't take this on With those example phrases
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่ƒฝๅŠ›ใŒใ„ใฃใฑใ„ใชใฎใงใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚’ๅผ•ใๅ—ใ‘ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏใงใใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎใƒ•ใƒฌใƒผใ‚บไพ‹ใ‚’
13:37
in mind, I want to demonstrate how we would use them in two real life scenarios.
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ๅฟต้ ญใซ็ฝฎใ„ใฆใ€ ๅฎŸ้š›ใฎ 2 ใคใฎใ‚ทใƒŠใƒชใ‚ชใงใใ‚Œใ‚‰ใ‚’ใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซไฝฟ็”จใ™ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚’็คบใ—ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
13:43
For this first example scenario,
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ใ“ใฎๆœ€ๅˆใฎใ‚ทใƒŠใƒชใ‚ชไพ‹ใงใฏใ€ๆœ€ใ‚‚้ƒฝๅˆใฎๆ‚ชใ„ใจใใซ
13:45
I want you to imagine you have a neighbor who loves to mow their lawn or do yard
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่Šๅˆˆใ‚Šใ‚„ๅบญไป•ไบ‹ใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใŒๅคงๅฅฝใใช้šฃไบบใŒใ„ใ‚‹ใจๆƒณๅƒใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„
13:50
work at the most inconvenient times. In fact,
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ใ€‚ ๅฎŸ้š›ใ€
13:54
the loud noise regularly disrupts your meetings and your thinking time or
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ๅคงใใช้จ’้Ÿณใซใ‚ˆใ‚Šใ€ ไผš่ญฐใ‚„ใ€
13:59
your work time to set a clear boundary and have a healthier
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ๆ˜Ž็ขบใช ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’่จญๅฎšใ—ใฆ้šฃไบบใจใ‚ˆใ‚Šๅฅๅ…จใช้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’็ฏ‰ใใŸใ‚ใฎๆ€่€ƒๆ™‚้–“ใ‚„ไฝœๆฅญๆ™‚้–“ใŒๅฎšๆœŸ็š„ใซไธญๆ–ญใ•ใ‚Œใพใ™
14:04
relationship with your neighbor. You might say this,
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ใ€‚ ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใ“ใ†่จ€ใ†ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ๅนณๆ—ฅใฎๅˆๅ‰
14:07
I would appreciate it if you didn't mow the lawn between 10:00 AM and
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10 ๆ™‚ใ‹ใ‚‰ๅˆๅ‰
14:12
11:30 AM on weekdays,
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11 ๆ™‚ๅŠใพใงใซ่Šๅˆˆใ‚Šใ‚’ใ—ใชใ„ใงใใ‚Œใ‚Œใฐใ‚ใ‚ŠใŒใŸใ„ใฎใงใ™ใŒใ€
14:15
the noise of your lawnmower is quite loud and it regularly disrupts my meetings.
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่Šๅˆˆใ‚ŠๆฉŸใฎ้ŸณใŒ้žๅธธใซใ†ใ‚‹ใ•ใ ใ€ใ„ใคใ‚‚็งใฎไผš่ญฐใฎ้‚ช้ญ”ใซใชใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ๆคœ่จŽใงใใ‚‹
14:20
Is there an alternative solution we can consider? In that example,
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ไปฃๆ›ฟใ‚ฝใƒชใƒฅใƒผใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ‹ ? ใ“ใฎไพ‹ใงใฏใ€
14:24
do you notice that I'm stating the clear boundary right away?
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็งใŒ ๆ˜Ž็ขบใชๅขƒ็•Œใ‚’ใ™ใใซ่ฟฐในใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใซๆฐ—ใฅใใพใ—ใŸใ‹?
14:28
I'm providing a reason and I'm using IC centered language.
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็งใฏ็†็”ฑใ‚’ๆไพ›ใ—ใฆใŠใ‚Šใ€ ICไธญๅฟƒใฎ่จ€่ชžใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
14:33
I also end with a polite request or a willingness to find some
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ใพใŸใ€ไธๅฏงใชใŠ้ก˜ใ„ ใ‚„ใ€้–ขไฟ‚่€…ๅŒๆ–นใซใจใฃใฆๆœ‰ๅŠนใช
14:38
alternative or some solution that works for both individuals involved.
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ไปฃๆ›ฟๆกˆใ‚„่งฃๆฑบ็ญ–ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใคใ‘ใ‚‹ๆ„ๆฌฒใ‚’็คบใ™ใ“ใจใง็ต‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ ใ€‚
14:44
I want to share with you a second situation to highlight how we would use these
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2 ็•ช็›ฎใฎ็Šถๆณใ‚’ๅ…ฑๆœ‰ใ—ใฆใ€ๆ˜Ž็ขบใชๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’่จญๅฎšใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซ ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎใƒ•ใƒฌใƒผใ‚บใ‚’ใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซไฝฟ็”จใ™ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚’ๅผท่ชฟใ—ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™
14:48
phrases to set clear boundaries and for this situation,
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ใ€‚ใ“ใฎ็Šถๆณใงใฏใ€ใ‚ˆใ‚Š
14:52
I want you to imagine you have a coworker who has the tendency to push larger,
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ๅคงใใใฆ
14:57
very time consuming tasks onto your plate at the very last minute
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้žๅธธใซๆ™‚้–“ใฎใ‹ใ‹ใ‚‹ใ‚ฟใ‚นใ‚ฏใ‚’ ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎไป•ไบ‹ใซๆŠผใ—ไป˜ใ‘ใ‚‹ๅ‚พๅ‘ใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ๅŒๅƒšใŒใ„ใ‚‹ใจๆƒณๅƒใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
15:03
in order to put a stop to this ongoing problem.
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ใ“ใฎ็พๅœจ้€ฒ่กŒไธญใฎๅ•้กŒใซ็ต‚ๆญข็ฌฆใ‚’ๆ‰“ใคใŸใ‚ใซใ€ๆœ€ๅพŒใฎ็žฌ้–“ใซใ€‚
15:06
It's important to communicate a boundary and here's how you could do that.
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ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’ไผใˆใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒ้‡่ฆใงใ™ใ€‚ ใใฎๆ–นๆณ•ใ‚’ๆฌกใซ็คบใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
15:11
Thank you for thinking of me. However,
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็งใฎใ“ใจใ‚’่€ƒใˆใฆใใ‚Œใฆใ‚ใ‚ŠใŒใจใ†ใ€‚ ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€
15:13
this is something I'm unable to take on right now due to my existing
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ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ ็งใฎๆ—ขๅญ˜ใฎ็ด„ๆŸใฎใŸใ‚ใ€ไปŠใฏๅผ•ใๅ—ใ‘ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใชใ„ใ“ใจใงใ™
15:17
commitments. If you need my help for any future projects,
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ใ€‚ ไปŠๅพŒใฎใƒ—ใƒญใ‚ธใ‚งใ‚ฏใƒˆใง็งใฎๅŠฉใ‘ใŒๅฟ…่ฆใชๅ ดๅˆใฏใ€ใใ‚Œใซๅฟœใ˜ใฆใŠๆ‰‹ไผใ„ใงใใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใ€ๅฟ…ใšไบ‹ๅ‰ใซใ”้€ฃ็ตกใใ ใ•ใ„
15:22
please be sure to give me a heads up far in advance so that I can help
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15:27
you accordingly. Again, in that example,
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ใ€‚ ใ“ใฎไพ‹ใงใ‚‚ใ€
15:31
I've clearly stated the boundary.
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ๅขƒ็•Œใ‚’ๆ˜Ž็ขบใซ็คบใ—ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
15:33
I've provided a reason why and I've used I centered language.
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็งใฏใใฎ็†็”ฑใ‚’่ชฌๆ˜Žใ—ใ€ ็งไธญๅฟƒใฎ่จ€่‘‰้ฃใ„ใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จใ—ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
15:38
Once you've communicated your boundary with clarity,
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่‡ชๅˆ† ใฎๅขƒ็•Œใ‚’ๆ˜Ž็ขบใซไผใˆใŸใ‚‰ใ€
15:42
it's time to go on to step number four, reinforce your boundary.
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ใ‚นใƒ†ใƒƒใƒ— 4 ใซ้€ฒใฟ ใ€ๅขƒ็•Œใ‚’ๅผทๅŒ–ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
15:47
What this means is to hold your ground after you've set a
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ใ“ใ‚ŒใŒๆ„ๅ‘ณใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใฏใ€ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’ ่จญๅฎšใ—ใŸๅพŒใฏ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎ็ซ‹ๅ ดใ‚’ๅ …ๆŒใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ™
15:52
boundary. In other words,
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ใ€‚ ่จ€ใ„ๆ›ใˆใ‚Œใฐใ€ๅค‰ๅŒ–ใ‚’ๆฑ‚ใ‚ใ‚‹
15:54
you don't give in to pressure to change or to be willing to
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ใƒ—ใƒฌใƒƒใ‚ทใƒฃใƒผใซๅฑˆใ—ใŸใ‚Šใ€
15:59
break your boundary. Just one more time.
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่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’ๅฃŠใใ†ใจใ—ใŸใ‚Šใ—ใชใ„ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚‚ใ†ใ„ใกใฉใ ใ‘ใ€‚ ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’ไฝ•ๅบฆใ‚‚ไฝ•ๅบฆใ‚‚่ถŠใˆใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒ
16:02
This potential for allowing a boundary to be crossed again
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ใงใใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใฎๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใฏใ€
16:07
and again and again is potentially true after setting a new
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16:12
boundary with someone. As a result,
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่ชฐใ‹ใจๆ–ฐใ—ใ„ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’่จญๅฎšใ—ใŸๅพŒใซใ‚‚ๅฝ“ใฆใฏใพใ‚‹ๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ใใฎใŸใ‚ใ€ๆœ€ๅˆใ‹ใ‚‰ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’
16:14
it's important to be ready to reinforce your boundary right from the start,
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ๅผทๅŒ–ใ™ใ‚‹ๆบ–ๅ‚™ใ‚’ใ—ใฆใŠใใ“ใจใŒ้‡่ฆใงใ™ ใ€‚
16:20
and when it comes to reinforcing your boundaries,
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ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’ๅผทๅŒ–ใ™ใ‚‹้š›ใซใฏใ€ๅฟƒ
16:22
there are five things to keep in mind. Number one, be consistent.
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ใซ็•™ใ‚ใฆใŠใในใ 5 ใคใฎใ“ใจใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ ใ€‚ ็ฌฌไธ€ใซใ€ไธ€่ฒซๆ€งใ‚’ไฟใคใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚
16:28
Number two, share observations. Number three,
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2 ็•ช็›ฎใฏใ€่ฆณๅฏŸใ‚’ๅ…ฑๆœ‰ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ™ ใ€‚ 3 ใค็›ฎใฏใ€ๅฟ…่ฆใซๅฟœใ˜ใฆ
16:32
provide further clarity if necessary. Number four,
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ใ•ใ‚‰ใซๆ˜Ž็ขบใซ่ชฌๆ˜Žใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ™ ใ€‚ 4 ็•ช็›ฎใฏใ€ๆฌกใฎใ‚นใƒ†ใƒƒใƒ—ใ‚’
16:36
it's also important to provide next steps, and number five,
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ๆไพ›ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚‚้‡่ฆใงใ™ใ€‚5 ็•ช็›ฎใฏใ€
16:40
use affirm but polite tone.
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่‚ฏๅฎš็š„ใ ใŒไธๅฏงใชๅฃ่ชฟใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’่ถŠใˆใ‚ˆใ†ใจใ™ใ‚‹่ฉฆใฟใŒ็ถšใ„ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใ€่ชฐใ‹ใจใฎๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’
16:43
If you find that you need to reinforce your boundary with someone because
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ๅผทๅŒ–ใ™ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใจๆ„Ÿใ˜ใŸๅ ดๅˆใฏใ€่‡ชๅˆ†
16:47
there's the ongoing attempt to cross those boundaries,
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16:52
it's important to share your observations and some context.
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ใฎ ่ฆณๅฏŸใจ่ƒŒๆ™ฏใ‚’ๅ…ฑๆœ‰ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒ้‡่ฆใงใ™ใ€‚ ใใ‚Œใ‚’ๅŠนๆžœ็š„ใซ
16:57
Let me give you some example phrases we can use in English to do that
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่กŒใ†ใŸใ‚ใซ่‹ฑ่ชžใงไฝฟ็”จใงใใ‚‹ใƒ•ใƒฌใƒผใ‚บใฎไพ‹ใ‚’ใ„ใใคใ‹็ดนไป‹ใ—ใพใ™
17:01
effectively. The first one is I'm seeing X,
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ใ€‚ 1 ใค ็›ฎใฏใ€X ใ‚’็ขบ่ชใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚
17:05
and it's important to me that for example,
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ใ“ใ‚Œใฏใ€ใŸใจใˆใฐใ€ไบ‹ๅ‰้€š็Ÿฅใ‚’ใƒชใ‚ฏใ‚จใ‚นใƒˆใ—ใŸใซใ‚‚ใ‹ใ‹ใ‚ใ‚‰ใšใ€็›ดๅ‰ใฎใ‚ฟใ‚นใ‚ฏใฎใƒชใ‚ฏใ‚จใ‚นใƒˆใ‚’ๅ—ใ‘็ถšใ‘ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒ็งใซใจใฃใฆ้‡่ฆใงใ™
17:09
I'm seeing that I'm continuing to get requests for last minute
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17:14
tasks even though I've requested advanced notice.
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ใ€‚
17:18
It's important to me that I get those requests in advance so that I can help
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็งใซใจใฃใฆใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎใƒชใ‚ฏใ‚จใ‚นใƒˆใ‚’ไบ‹ๅ‰ใซๅ–ๅพ—ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒ้‡่ฆใงใ™ใ€‚ใใ†ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ€
17:23
as needed and still get my existing priorities accomplished
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ๅฟ…่ฆใซๅฟœใ˜ใฆๆ”ฏๆดใงใใ‚‹ใจๅŒๆ™‚ใซใ€็งใŒๆฐ—ใฅใ„ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚„่ฆณๅฏŸใ—ใŸใ“ใจใ‚’็คบใ™่จ€่ชž X ใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จใ—ใฆใ€ใใฎใ‚นใƒ†ใƒผใƒˆใƒกใƒณใƒˆไพ‹ใง ๆ—ขๅญ˜ใฎๅ„ชๅ…ˆไบ‹้ …ใ‚’้”ๆˆใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚
17:28
with that example statement,
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17:30
using the language I'm seeing X that indicates what I'm
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17:35
noticing or what my observations are,
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17:37
and then I further communicate my boundary and why it's important.
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ใใ—ใฆใ€่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎ ๅขƒ็•Œใจใใ‚ŒใŒใชใœ้‡่ฆใชใฎใ‹ใ‚’ใ•ใ‚‰ใซไผใˆใพใ™ใ€‚
17:43
A second phrase you could use might be,
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2 ็•ช็›ฎใซไฝฟ็”จใงใใ‚‹ใƒ•ใƒฌใƒผใ‚บใฏใ€ใ€Œ
17:45
I know we've talked about this in the past and I want to make it clear that,
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ใ“ใฎไปถใซใคใ„ใฆใฏไปฅๅ‰ใซใ‚‚่ฉฑใ—ใŸใ“ใจใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ ใŒใ€ใใ‚Œใ‚’ๆ˜Ž็ขบใซใ—ใฆใŠใใŸใ„ใฎใงใ™ใŒใ€
17:50
and again, you would restate your boundary and why it's important.
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ใ‚‚ใ†ไธ€ๅบฆใ€่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎ ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใจใใ‚ŒใŒ้‡่ฆใช็†็”ฑใ‚’ใ‚‚ใ†ไธ€ๅบฆ่ฟฐในใพใ™ใ€ใจใ„ใ†ใ‚‚ใฎใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
17:55
A third option, I'm noticing X,
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3 ็•ช็›ฎใฎใ‚ชใƒ—ใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใฏใ€ใ€ŒX ใซๆฐ—ใฅใ„ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
17:58
and I just want to remind you that this is very similar to the first one,
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ใ“ใ‚Œใฏๆœ€ๅˆใฎใ‚ชใƒ—ใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใจ้žๅธธใซไผผใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ€ใ„ๅ‡บใ—ใฆใ„ใŸใ ใใŸใ„ใ ใ‘ใงใ™ใ€‚4
18:03
and a fourth option might be, it makes me uncomfortable when X,
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็•ช็›ฎใฎใ‚ชใƒ—ใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใฏใ€ X ใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใจไธๅฟซใซใชใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚Y ใ‚’
18:09
please respect Y. Please respect this particular boundary.
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ๅฐŠ้‡ใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ใ“ใฎ็‰นๅฎšใฎๅขƒ็•Œใ‚’ๅฐŠ้‡ใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€ใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ€‚
18:15
Should this continue, I will need to,
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ใ“ใฎ็ŠถๆณใŒ็ถšใๅ ดๅˆใฏใ€็งใŒ่กŒใ†ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
18:18
and then you state what you might need to do, what action you may need to take.
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ใใฎๅพŒใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒไฝ•ใ‚’ ใ™ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ€ใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใชๆŽช็ฝฎใ‚’่ฌ›ใ˜ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚’่ฟฐในใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
18:23
These particular phrases can feel uncomfortable to communicate,
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ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎ็‰นๅฎšใฎใƒ•ใƒฌใƒผใ‚บใฏ ใ‚ณใƒŸใƒฅใƒ‹ใ‚ฑใƒผใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใซไธๅฟซๆ„Ÿใ‚’ไธŽใˆใ‚‹ๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™
18:27
however, maintaining a polite firm tone can be helpful.
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ใŒใ€ไธๅฏงใงๆฏ…็„ถใจใ—ใŸๅฃ่ชฟใ‚’็ถญๆŒใ™ใ‚‹ใจ ๅŠนๆžœ็š„ใงใ™ใ€‚
18:32
What I mean by that is the words we choose are firm. They're assertive,
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ใคใพใ‚Šใ€็งใŸใกใŒ ้ธใถ่จ€่‘‰ใฏใ—ใฃใ‹ใ‚Šใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚ ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏๆ–ญๅฎš็š„ใงใ™
18:37
but we're keeping our voice very calm, very neutral.
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ใŒใ€็งใŸใกใฏ ้žๅธธใซ็ฉใ‚„ใ‹ใงไธญ็ซ‹็š„ใช็ซ‹ๅ ดใ‚’ไฟใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
18:41
There's no sound of anger or frustration in our tone of voice.
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็งใŸใกใฎๅฃฐใฎ่ชฟๅญใซใฏๆ€’ใ‚Šใ‚„ไธๆบ€ใฎๅฃฐใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
18:47
By maintaining that calm, neutral tone,
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่ฝใก็€ใ„ใŸใƒ‹ใƒฅใƒผใƒˆใƒฉใƒซใชใƒˆใƒผใƒณใ‚’็ถญๆŒใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ€็ŠถๆณใซใŠใ‘ใ‚‹
18:50
we reduce any potential extra tension or friction in the
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ๆฝœๅœจ็š„ใชไฝ™ๅˆ†ใช็ทŠๅผตใ‚„ๆ‘ฉๆ“ฆใ‚’่ปฝๆธ›ใ—ใพใ™
18:55
situation.
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ใ€‚
18:56
I want to demonstrate this final step of reinforcing a boundary with
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19:01
two final example situations. In the first situation,
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ๆœ€ๅพŒใฎ 2 ใคใฎ็Šถๆณไพ‹ใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จใ—ใฆใ€ๅขƒ็•Œใ‚’ๅผทๅŒ–ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใฎๆœ€็ต‚ใ‚นใƒ†ใƒƒใƒ—ใ‚’็คบใ—ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ๆœ€ๅˆใฎ็Šถๆณใงใฏใ€
19:06
I want you to imagine a friend constantly making jokes about someone's
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ๅ‹ไบบใŒ ๅธธใซ่ชฐใ‹ใฎไฝ“้‡ใซใคใ„ใฆใ‚ธใƒงใƒผใ‚ฏใ‚’่จ€ใฃใฆใŠใ‚Š
19:10
weight,
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ใ€
19:12
and perhaps in the past that individual has made it clear that those jokes
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ใŠใใ‚‰ใใใฎไบบใฏ้ŽๅŽปใซ ใใฎใ‚ธใƒงใƒผใ‚ฏใŒ
19:16
really hurt their feelings, and yet the jokes persist.
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ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๆ„Ÿๆƒ…ใ‚’ๅ‚ทใคใ‘ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ˜Žใ‚‰ใ‹ใซใ—ใŸใ“ใจใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใ€ ใใ‚Œใงใ‚‚ใ‚ธใƒงใƒผใ‚ฏใฏ็ถšใ„ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจๆƒณๅƒใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
19:21
They continue to reinforce a boundary.
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ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏๅขƒ็•Œใ‚’ๅผทๅŒ–ใ—็ถšใ‘ใพใ™ใ€‚
19:26
Here's what you might say, Hey,
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏๆฌกใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซ่จ€ใ†ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€ใญใˆใ€็งใŸใกใฏ
19:28
I know we've talked about this in the past and I'm noticing that comments about
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้ŽๅŽปใซใ“ใฎใ“ใจใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ—ใŸใ“ใจใฏ็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ ใŒใ€
19:33
my weight haven't stopped. I want to make it clear that this isn't okay with me.
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็งใฎไฝ“้‡ใซใคใ„ใฆใฎใ‚ณใƒกใƒณใƒˆใŒๆญขใพใ‚‰ใชใ„ใ“ใจใซๆฐ—ใฅใใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ็งใซใจใฃใฆๅ•้กŒใงใฏใชใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ˜Ž็ขบใซใ—ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
19:38
I understand they're intended as jokes, but they really hurt my feelings,
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ๅ†—่ซ‡ใฎใคใ‚‚ใ‚Šใชใฎใฏใ‚ใ‹ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ ใŒใ€ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซๆฐ—ๅˆ†ใ‚’ๅฎณใ—ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
19:43
and if this continues, I will not continue our friendship. In that example,
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ใ“ใฎใพใพใงใฏ ๅ‹ๆƒ…ใ‚’็ถšใ‘ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใ“ใฎไพ‹ใงใฏใ€
19:48
I'm maintaining consistency by reiterating or restating a boundary.
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ๅขƒ็•Œใ‚’็นฐใ‚Š่ฟ”ใ—ใŸใ‚Š่จ€ใ„็›ดใ—ใŸใ‚Šใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงไธ€่ฒซๆ€งใ‚’ไฟใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
19:53
I've said in the past,
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ไปฅๅ‰ใซใ‚‚่จ€ใ„ใพใ—ใŸใŒใ€
19:55
I'm also indicating what observations I have and providing more clarity,
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็งใฏ่‡ชๅˆ†ใŒใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใช่ฆณๅฏŸใ‚’ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚’็คบใ—ใ€ ใ‚ˆใ‚Šๆ˜Ž็ขบใซใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
20:00
and while the language is firm, I'm maintaining a polite, neutral tone,
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่จ€่‘‰ใฏใ—ใฃใ‹ใ‚Šใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใŒใ€ ไธๅฏงใงไธญ็ซ‹็š„ใชๅฃ่ชฟใ‚’็ถญๆŒใ—ใ€ใใ‚Œ
20:05
trying to keep out any additional strong emotions so that I can
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ไปฅไธŠใฎๅผทใ„ๆ„Ÿๆƒ…ใ‚’ๆŽ’้™คใ™ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ๅŠชใ‚ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
20:10
communicate in a polite, assertive way. And finally,
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็คผๅ„€ๆญฃใ—ใใ€ ็ฉๆฅต็š„ใชๆ–นๆณ•ใงใ‚ณใƒŸใƒฅใƒ‹ใ‚ฑใƒผใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใ‚’ใจใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ ๆœ€ๅพŒใซใ€ๅฟ…่ฆใซๅฟœใ˜ใฆ
20:14
I include next steps in case they're necessary.
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ๆฌกใฎๆ‰‹้ †ใ‚’่จ˜่ผ‰ใ—ใพใ™ ใ€‚
20:18
Let's take a look at one more example of how we might use this language to
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ใ“ใฎ่จ€่ชžใ‚’
20:23
reinforce boundaries, and this time we'll focus on a professional circumstance.
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ๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’ๅผทๅŒ–ใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซไฝฟ็”จใ™ใ‚‹ใ‹ใซใคใ„ใฆใ€ใ‚‚ใ† 1 ใคใฎไพ‹ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใฆใฟใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚ไปŠๅ›žใฏใ€ ่ทๆฅญไธŠใฎ็Šถๆณใซ็„ฆ็‚นใ‚’ๅฝ“ใฆใพใ™ใ€‚
20:28
Perhaps you have a coworker who continues to be late on deadlines
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ใŠใใ‚‰ใใ€
20:33
and late for meetings despite having a clear boundary set in the past,
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้ŽๅŽปใซๆ˜Ž็ขบใชๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใŒ่จญๅฎšใ•ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใซใ‚‚ใ‹ใ‹ใ‚ใ‚‰ใšใ€็ท ใ‚ๅˆ‡ใ‚Šใ‚„ไผš่ญฐใซ้…ๅˆปใ—็ถšใ‘ใ‚‹ๅŒๅƒšใŒใ„ใ‚‹ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
20:39
and this individual has made it clear that there aren't any factors
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ใ“ใฎไบบใฏใ€ๆ™‚้–“็ฎก็†ใซๅฝฑ้Ÿฟใ‚’ไธŽใˆใ‚‹ ่ฆๅ› ใฏไฝ•ใ‚‚ใชใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ˜Žใ‚‰ใ‹ใซใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™
20:44
affecting her time management.
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ใ€‚
20:46
To follow up on a conversation and reiterate this time
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ไผš่ฉฑใ‚’ใƒ•ใ‚ฉใƒญใƒผใ‚ขใƒƒใƒ—ใ—ใ€ ใ“ใฎๆ™‚้–“ใฎ
20:51
boundary, here's what you could say,
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ๅขƒ็•Œใซใคใ„ใฆ็นฐใ‚Š่ฟ”ใ™ใจใ€ๆฌกใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซ่จ€ใˆใพใ™ใ€‚
20:55
I'm noticing a continued pattern of arriving late for meetings and
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ไผš่ญฐใซ้…ๅˆปใ—ใ€
20:59
missing deadlines.
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็ท ใ‚ๅˆ‡ใ‚Šใซ้–“ใซๅˆใ‚ใชใ„ใจใ„ใ†ใƒ‘ใ‚ฟใƒผใƒณใŒ็ถšใ„ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใซๆฐ—ใฅใใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
21:01
I want to remind you that the dates and times of our meetings and
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ไผš่ญฐใฎๆ—ฅๆ™‚ใจ็ท ใ‚ๅˆ‡ใ‚Šใฏใ€
21:06
our deadlines are crucial to our company's goals and success.
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ๅฝ“็คพใฎ็›ฎๆจ™ใจๆˆๅŠŸใซใจใฃใฆ้žๅธธใซ้‡่ฆใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ€ใ„ๅ‡บใ—ใฆใ„ใŸใ ใใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
21:11
Should this continue, I will need to act in the best interests of our team,
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ใ“ใฎ็ŠถๆณใŒ็ถšใๅ ดๅˆใ€็งใฏ ใƒใƒผใƒ ใฎๅˆฉ็›Šใ‚’ๆœ€ๅ„ชๅ…ˆใซ่กŒๅ‹•ใ™ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ใ‚ˆใ‚ŠๅŠนๆžœ็š„ใซ
21:17
and please let me know if there's anything you need from me to help manage time
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ๆ™‚้–“ใ‚’็ฎก็†ใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซ็งใซไฝ•ใ‹ๅฟ…่ฆใชใ“ใจใŒใ‚ใ‚ŒใฐใŠ็Ÿฅใ‚‰ใ›ใใ ใ•ใ„
21:21
more effectively. With that,
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ใ€‚ ใ“ใ‚Œใงใ€่‹ฑ่ชžใงไบบ้–“้–ขไฟ‚ใซๆ˜Ž็ขบใชๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’่จญๅฎšใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใซๅฝน็ซ‹ใค
21:23
you have four practical steps to help you set clear boundaries
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4 ใคใฎๅฎŸ่ทต็š„ใชใ‚นใƒ†ใƒƒใƒ—ใŒๅพ—ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใ€
21:28
in relationships in English,
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21:30
and you have example phrases to help you along the way.
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ใใฎ้Ž็จ‹ใงๅฝน็ซ‹ใคไพ‹ๆ–‡ใ‚‚็”จๆ„ใ•ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
21:34
To finish this lesson, I have one question for you.
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ใ“ใฎใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใ‚’็ต‚ใˆใ‚‹ใซใ‚ใŸใ‚Šใ€ 1 ใค่ณชๅ•ใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
21:37
I'd love to know what strategies and phrases are most useful to you
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21:42
as you contemplate how to set boundaries in relationships in English.
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่‹ฑ่ชžใงไบบ้–“้–ขไฟ‚ใซๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’่จญใ‘ใ‚‹ๆ–นๆณ•ใ‚’่€ƒใˆใ‚‹ใจใใซใ€ใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใชๆˆฆ็•ฅใ‚„ใƒ•ใƒฌใƒผใ‚บใŒๆœ€ใ‚‚ๅฝนใซ็ซ‹ใคใฎใ‹็Ÿฅใ‚ŠใŸใ„ใงใ™ใ€‚
21:48
You might have a situation happening in your personal or a professional life
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏไปŠใ€ ็ง็”Ÿๆดปใ‚„ไป•ไบ‹ใฎไธญใงใ€
21:52
right now in which you need to set a clear boundary.
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ๆ˜Ž็ขบใชๅขƒ็•Œ็ทšใ‚’่จญๅฎšใ™ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹็Šถๆณใซ็›ด้ขใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
21:56
If you do and you want to practice,
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ๅฎŸ่ทตใ—ใฆใฟใŸใ„ๅ ดๅˆใฏใ€
21:58
you can certainly share what you might like to say in the comments below.
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ไปฅไธ‹ใฎใ‚ณใƒกใƒณใƒˆๆฌ„ใง่จ€ใ„ใŸใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’ๅ…ฑๆœ‰ใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ใ“ใ“ใงๅ…ฑๆœ‰ใ—ใŸใƒ•ใƒฌใƒผใ‚บใฎ
22:04
I encourage you to try using some of the phrases that I've shared here or
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ใ„ใใคใ‹ใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จใ—ใฆใฟใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ€
22:09
even follow the examples I've shared as templates,
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ใพใŸใฏ ใƒ†ใƒณใƒ—ใƒฌใƒผใƒˆใจใ—ใฆๅ…ฑๆœ‰ใ—ใŸไพ‹ใซๅพ“ใฃใฆใฟใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ใŠๅ‹งใ‚ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
22:13
and if you found this lesson helpful to you, I would love to know.
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ใ“ใฎใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใŒๅฝนใซ็ซ‹ใฃใŸใจๆ€ใ‚ใ‚ŒใŸๅ ดๅˆใฏใ€ ใœใฒใŠ็Ÿฅใ‚‰ใ›ใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
22:17
You can tell me in one very simple way.
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ใจใฆใ‚‚็ฐกๅ˜ใชๆ–นๆณ•ใงๆ•™ใˆใฆใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใˆใพใ™ใ€‚ YouTube ใง
22:19
You can give this lesson a thumbs up here on YouTube, and while you're at it,
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ใ“ใฎใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใซ้ซ˜่ฉ•ไพกใ‚’ไธŽใˆใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ ใ€‚ใใฎ้–“ใ€็งใฎ Confident English ใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใ‚’่ฆ‹้€ƒใ•ใชใ„ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ€
22:24
don't forget to subscribe to the Speak Confident English Channel so you never
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Speak Confident English ใƒใƒฃใƒณใƒใƒซใซ็™ป้Œฒใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๅฟ˜ใ‚Œใชใ„ใงใใ ใ•ใ„
22:28
miss one of my Confident English lessons. Thank you so much for joining me,
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ใ€‚ ใ”ๅ‚ๅŠ ใ„ใŸใ ใ่ช ใซใ‚ใ‚ŠใŒใจใ†ใ”ใ–ใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
22:33
and I look forward to seeing you next time.
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ๆฌกๅ›žใŠไผšใ„ใงใใ‚‹ใฎใ‚’ๆฅฝใ—ใฟใซใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
ใ“ใฎใ‚ฆใ‚งใƒ–ใ‚ตใ‚คใƒˆใซใคใ„ใฆ

ใ“ใฎใ‚ตใ‚คใƒˆใงใฏ่‹ฑ่ชžๅญฆ็ฟ’ใซๅฝน็ซ‹ใคYouTubeๅ‹•็”ปใ‚’็ดนไป‹ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ไธ–็•Œไธญใฎไธ€ๆต่ฌ›ๅธซใซใ‚ˆใ‚‹่‹ฑ่ชžใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใ‚’่ฆ‹ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ๅ„ใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใฎใƒšใƒผใ‚ธใซ่กจ็คบใ•ใ‚Œใ‚‹่‹ฑ่ชžๅญ—ๅน•ใ‚’ใƒ€ใƒ–ใƒซใ‚ฏใƒชใƒƒใ‚ฏใ™ใ‚‹ใจใ€ใใ“ใ‹ใ‚‰ใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใ‚’ๅ†็”Ÿใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ๅญ—ๅน•ใฏใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใฎๅ†็”ŸใจๅŒๆœŸใ—ใฆใ‚นใ‚ฏใƒญใƒผใƒซใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ใ”ๆ„่ฆ‹ใƒปใ”่ฆๆœ›ใŒใ”ใ–ใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ‚‰ใ€ใ“ใกใ‚‰ใฎใŠๅ•ใ„ๅˆใ‚ใ›ใƒ•ใ‚ฉใƒผใƒ ใ‚ˆใ‚Šใ”้€ฃ็ตกใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚

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