How to Say No in English Politely (without Feeling Guilty)

80,224 views ใƒป 2019-06-26

Speak Confident English


ไธ‹ใฎ่‹ฑ่ชžๅญ—ๅน•ใ‚’ใƒ€ใƒ–ใƒซใ‚ฏใƒชใƒƒใ‚ฏใ™ใ‚‹ใจๅ‹•็”ปใ‚’ๅ†็”Ÿใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ ็ฟป่จณใ•ใ‚ŒใŸๅญ—ๅน•ใฏๆฉŸๆขฐ็ฟป่จณใงใ™ใ€‚

00:00
Hey,
0
630
271
00:00
it's Annemarie with Speak Confident English and this week we're going to talk
1
901
3509
ใ“ใ‚“ใซใกใฏ
ใ€Speak Confident English ใฎ Annemarie ใงใ™ใ€‚ไปŠ้€ฑใฏ
00:04
about how to say no in English and do it politely. Whether you're too busy,
2
4411
4439
ใ€่‹ฑ่ชžใงใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ†ๆ–นๆณ•ใจไธๅฏงใซ่กŒใ†ๆ–นๆณ•ใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ—ใพใ™ ใ€‚ ๅฟ™ใ—ใ™ใŽใŸใ‚Šใ€็–ฒใ‚Œใ™ใŽใŸใ‚Šใ€
00:08
too tired or you just don't want to do something.
3
8880
2970
ไฝ•ใ‹ใ—ใŸใใชใ„ใ ใ‘ใชใฎใ‹ใ€‚
00:12
It can be challenging to say no to a family member,
4
12150
3090
ใ‚ใชใŸใฎๅŠฉใ‘ใ‚’ๅฟ…่ฆ ใจใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ๅฎถๆ—ใ€
00:15
friend or coworker who needs your help.
5
15241
2039
ๅ‹ไบบใ€ใพใŸใฏๅŒๅƒšใซใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ†ใฎใฏ้›ฃใ—ใ„ๅ ดๅˆใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
00:17
It might be difficult because you're not sure of the right words in English.
6
17520
3720
่‹ฑ่ชžใงๆญฃใ—ใ„่จ€่‘‰ใŒใ‚ใ‹ใ‚‰ใชใ„ใฎใงใ€้›ฃใ—ใ„ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
00:21
You don't want to hurt or disappoint anyone and you might even feel guilty if
7
21390
4830
่ชฐใ‹ใ‚’ๅ‚ทใคใ‘ใŸใ‚Šๅคฑๆœ›ใ•ใ›ใŸใ‚Šใ—ใŸใใชใ„ใฎใงใ€ใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใˆ ใฐ็ฝชๆ‚ชๆ„Ÿใ•ใˆๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›
00:26
you say no.
8
26221
833
ใ‚“ใ€‚
00:27
So today we're going to learn how you can say no politely so that you don't have
9
27240
4020
ไปŠๆ—ฅใฏใ€็ฝชๆ‚ชๆ„Ÿใ‚’ๅฟƒ้…ใ™ใ‚‹ ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใชใ„ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ€ไธๅฏงใซๆ–ญใ‚‹ๆ–นๆณ•ใ‚’ๅญฆใณใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†
00:31
to worry about the guilt.
10
31261
1169
ใ€‚
00:32
You don't hurt anyone's feelings and you can still have a positive relationship.
11
32670
3990
่ชฐใฎๆฐ—ๆŒใกใ‚‚ๅ‚ทใคใ‘ใš ใ€ๅ‰ๅ‘ใใช้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’็ถญๆŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚
00:36
Plus I'm going to share with you how to say no in the most difficult situation
12
36870
4290
ใ•ใ‚‰ใซ
00:41
when you've already said yes to someone,
13
41670
2400
ใ€่ชฐใ‹ใซใ€Œใฏใ„
00:44
but now you need to say no.
14
44280
2490
ใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃใŸใ“ใจใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใŒใ€ไปŠใฏใ€Œใ„ใ„ใˆใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใซใ€ๆœ€ใ‚‚ๅ›ฐ้›ฃใช็Šถๆณใงใ€Œใ„ใ„ใˆใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ๆ–นๆณ•ใ‚’็ดนไป‹ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
00:47
So be sure to watch to the end to get that final tip.
15
47100
2640
ใใฎใŸใ‚ใ€ๆœ€ๅพŒใฎใƒ’ใƒณใƒˆใ‚’ๅพ—ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซใ€ๅฟ…ใšๆœ€ๅพŒใพใง่ฆ–่ดใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ ใ€‚
01:01
To get started on this topic of saying no. I have a question for you.
16
61220
3630
ใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ†ใ“ใฎใƒˆใƒ”ใƒƒใ‚ฏใ‚’ๅง‹ใ‚ใ‚‹ใซใฏใ€‚ ่ณชๅ•ใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
01:05
Have you ever heard of this expression? Busy bragging,
17
65270
3000
ใ“ใฎ่กจ็พใ‚’่žใ„ใŸใ“ใจใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ ๅฟ™ใ—ใ„่‡ชๆ…ขใ€
01:08
busy bragging is when someone loves to talk about how busy they are and how many
18
68720
4650
ๅฟ™ใ—ใ„่‡ชๆ…ขใฏใ€่ชฐใ‹ใŒ ่‡ชๅˆ†ใŒใฉใ‚Œใ ใ‘ๅฟ™ใ—ใ„ใ‹ใ€ใฉใ‚Œใ ใ‘ใฎ็ด„ๆŸใ‚’ใ—ใŸใ‹ใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ™ใฎใŒๅฅฝใใช
01:13
commitments they've made,
19
73371
1349
01:15
but you and I both know that being too busy can actually be miserable.
20
75110
3960
ๅ ดๅˆใงใ™ใŒใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใ‚‚็ง ใ‚‚ใ€ๅฟ™ใ—ใ™ใŽใ‚‹ใจๅฎŸ้š›ใซใฏๆƒจใ‚ใซใชใ‚‹ๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™.
01:19
It means that you might not be getting enough sleep,
21
79430
2310
ใใ‚Œใฏใ€ใ‚ใชใŸ ใŒๅๅˆ†ใช็ก็œ 
01:21
you might not be doing well in your job and do you feel stressed and overwhelmed?
22
81770
4290
ใ‚’ใจใฃใฆใ„ใชใ„ๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ€ไป•ไบ‹ใŒใ†ใพใใ„ใฃใฆใ„ใชใ„ๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ€ใใ—ใฆ ใ‚นใƒˆใƒฌใ‚นใ‚„ๅœงๅ€’ใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ—ใพใ™ใ‹?
01:26
Learning how to politely say no in English will help you avoid over committing
23
86390
4860
่‹ฑ่ชžใงไธๅฏงใซใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ†ๆ–นๆณ•ใ‚’ๅญฆใน ใฐใ€้Žๅบฆใซใ‚ณใƒŸใƒƒใƒˆใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’้ฟใ‘ใ‚‹ใ“ใจ
01:31
so that you don't feel stressed and you don't feel guilty about saying no either.
24
91251
4439
ใŒใงใใ‚‹ใฎใงใ€ใ‚นใƒˆใƒฌใ‚นใ‚’ ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใŸใ‚Šใ€ใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ†ใ“ใจใซ็ฝชๆ‚ชๆ„Ÿใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใŸใ‚Šใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
01:36
When it comes to saying no,
25
96260
1650
ใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ†ใ“ใจใซใชใ‚‹ใจ
01:37
I could give you a list of fake phony excuses like, oh,
26
97970
4620
01:42
I'm really sorry I can't come to your party because my bird is really sick and I
27
102591
4529
ใ€ๅฝใ‚Šใฎ่จ€ใ„่จณใฎใƒชใ‚นใƒˆใ‚’ใ‚ใ’ใ‚‹
01:47
need to stay home to give it some medicine.
28
107330
1560
ใ“ใจใŒใงใ ใพใ™ใ€‚ ่–ฌใ€‚
01:50
But here in the Speak Confident English community,
29
110420
2970
ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ใ“ใ“ Speak Confident English ใ‚ณใƒŸใƒฅใƒ‹ใƒ†ใ‚ฃใง
01:53
we believe honesty is the best policy and we love combining that honesty with
30
113420
5000
ใฏใ€ๆญฃ็›ดใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒๆœ€ๅ–„ใฎใƒใƒชใ‚ทใƒผใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใจไฟกใ˜ใฆใŠใ‚Šใ€ ใใฎๆญฃ็›ดใ•ใจ
01:58
the language that allows you to stay polite and friendly and that is the first
31
118581
4349
ใ€ ็คผๅ„€ๆญฃใ—ใใƒ•ใƒฌใƒณใƒ‰ใƒชใƒผใงใ„ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใ‚‹่จ€่ชžใจใ‚’็ต„ใฟๅˆใ‚ใ›ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒ
02:02
strategy for saying no.
32
122931
1319
ๅคงๅฅฝใใงใ™ใ€‚ ๆ‹›ๅพ…ใพใŸใฏ่ฆๆฑ‚
02:04
Whether you need to decline an invitation or a request.
33
124610
3480
ใ‚’ๆ–ญใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‹ใฉใ†ใ‹ ใ€‚
02:08
It's important to be honest,
34
128390
1650
ๆญฃ็›ดใง
02:10
but you don't need to include a lot of details when you say no.
35
130070
4560
ใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏ้‡่ฆ ใงใ™ใŒใ€ใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ†ใจใใฏๅคšใใฎ่ฉณ็ดฐใ‚’ๅซใ‚ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
02:14
For example,
36
134840
721
ใŸใจใˆใฐ
02:15
if a colleague invites you out during the work week and honestly you're just
37
135561
3989
ใ€ๅนณๆ—ฅใฎไป•ไบ‹ไธญใซๅŒๅƒšใซ่ช˜ใ‚ใ‚Œใฆ
02:19
tired, you want to go home and watch your favorite Netflix show,
38
139551
3059
ใ€ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ็–ฒใ‚Œใฆใ„ใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใ€ๅฎถใซๅธฐใฃ ใฆใŠๆฐ—ใซๅ…ฅใ‚Šใฎ Netflix ็•ช็ต„ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใŸใ„ๅ ดๅˆใ€
02:22
or maybe there's an event at your child's school, you could simply say,
39
142700
3930
ใพใŸใฏ ๅญไพ›ใฎๅญฆๆ กใงใ‚คใƒ™ใƒณใƒˆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใฏใ€ๅ˜ใซใ€Œ็งใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚
02:26
I'm sorry I can't make it. I've got something else planned,
40
146631
2909
่กŒใ‘ใชใใฆใ”ใ‚ใ‚“ใชใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ไป–ใซใ‚‚ไบˆๅฎšใฏใ‚ใ‚Š
02:29
but let's try another time. Now,
41
149600
1830
ใพใ™ใŒใ€ใพใŸใฎๆฉŸไผšใซใ€‚ ใ•ใฆ
02:31
if it's a colleague requesting you to stay late and help them out with a project,
42
151460
4410
ใ€ๅŒๅƒšใŒใ‚ใชใŸใซ้…ใใพใงๆฎ‹ใ— ใฆใƒ—ใƒญใ‚ธใ‚งใ‚ฏใƒˆใ‚’ๆ‰‹ไผใฃใฆ
02:36
you can make a small change to this example by saying,
43
156230
3270
ใปใ—ใ„ใจ้ ผใ‚“ใงใใŸๅ ดๅˆใฏใ€ ใ“ใฎไพ‹ใ‚’ๅฐ‘ใ—ๅค‰ๆ›ดใ—ใฆใ€
02:39
I'm sorry I can't help you out. I've got something else planned,
44
159920
2970
ใ€Œ็”ณใ—่จณใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒใ€ใŠๆ‰‹ไผใ„ใงใใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ไป–ใซใ‚‚ไบˆๅฎšใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใŒใ€
02:42
but I hope everything works out okay. Again,
45
162920
2700
็„กไบ‹ใซ็ต‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ€‚ ็นฐใ‚Š่ฟ”ใ—ใซใชใ‚Š
02:45
you're being clear about saying no without giving too many details,
46
165621
3779
ใพใ™ใŒใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ่ฉณ็ดฐใ‚’ใ‚ใพใ‚Šๆ˜Žใ‹ใ•ใšใซๆ–ญใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ˜Ž็ขบใซใ—
02:49
but what do you do if someone insists that you say yes and there's a lot of
47
169850
5000
ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใŒใ€่ชฐใ‹ ใŒใ‚ใชใŸใซใ‚คใ‚จใ‚นใจ่จ€ใ†ใ‚ˆใ†ใซไธปๅผตใ—
02:55
pressure in that situation?
48
175401
2309
ใ€ใใฎ็Šถๆณใงๅคšใใฎใƒ—ใƒฌใƒƒใ‚ทใƒฃใƒผใŒใ‹ใ‹ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใฉใ†ใ—ใพใ™ใ‹?
02:57
You want to make sure that you don't leave any room for,
49
177740
3620
03:01
maybe if someone asks you to do something and you are honestly too busy,
50
181361
5000
่ชฐใ‹ใซไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’้ ผใพใ‚Œใฆ ใ€ๆญฃ็›ดๅฟ™ใ—ใ™ใŽใŸใ‚Šใ€
03:06
too tired or you just don't want to, but you say something like,
51
186580
4620
็–ฒใ‚Œใฆใ„ใŸใ‚Šใ€ใ‚„ใ‚ŠใŸใใชใ„ใฎใซใ€
03:11
Oh, I'm not sure if I can let me check my calendar or I don't know,
52
191620
4740
ใ€Œใ‚ใ‚ใ€็งใฏ ใ€Œใ‚ซใƒฌใƒณใƒ€ใƒผใ‚’ใƒใ‚งใƒƒใ‚ฏใ•ใ›ใฆใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใˆใ‚‹ ใ‹ใฉใ†ใ‹ใ‚ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒใ€
03:16
I'll get back to you in those examples. You didn't say no.
53
196361
4409
ใ‚ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎไพ‹ใงใ”้€ฃ็ตกใ„ใŸใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใƒŽใƒผใจใฏ่จ€ใ„ใพใ›ใ‚“ใงใ—ใŸใ€‚
03:20
You said maybe,
54
200890
1440
ใ‚ใชใŸใฏๅคšๅˆ†ใจ่จ€ใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ€
03:22
and that means there's room for them to continue putting pressure on you and you
55
202600
5000
ใใ—ใฆใใ‚Œใฏๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒใ‚ใชใŸใซๅœงๅŠ›ใ‚’ใ‹ใ‘็ถšใ‘ใ‚‹ไฝ™ๅœฐใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ— ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸ
03:27
might eventually say yes. So you want to avoid those kinds of phrases.
56
207611
4379
ใฏๆœ€็ต‚็š„ใซใ‚คใ‚จใ‚นใจ่จ€ใ†ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“. ใ—ใŸใŒใฃใฆใ€ใใฎใ‚ˆใ† ใชใƒ•ใƒฌใƒผใ‚บใฏ้ฟใ‘ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
03:32
Other phrases that you might want to avoid are, can I tell you later,
57
212500
3750
ไป–ใซ้ฟใ‘ใŸใปใ†ใŒใ‚ˆใ„ใƒ•ใƒฌใƒผใ‚บ ใฏใ€ใ€ŒๅพŒใงๆ•™ใˆใฆใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใˆใพใ™
03:37
let me check my schedule and get back to you instead of leaving room for,
58
217180
3960
ใ‹ใ€‚ใ‚นใ‚ฑใ‚ธใƒฅใƒผใƒซใ‚’็ขบ่ชใ—ใฆ ใ€ไฝ™่ฃ•ใ‚’ๆŒใŸใ›ใ‚‹ไปฃใ‚ใ‚ŠใซๆŠ˜ใ‚Š่ฟ”ใ—ใ”
03:41
maybe it's important that you are clear about saying no,
59
221141
3659
้€ฃ็ตกใ„ใŸใ—ใพใ™ ใ€‚ใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ†ใ“ใจใŒๆ˜Ž็ขบใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒ้‡่ฆใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›
03:45
but you can still be polite by using something like, I'm afraid that I can't,
60
225160
4410
ใ‚“ใŒใ€ใใ‚Œใงใ‚‚็คผๅ„€ๆญฃใ—ใใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ ็”ณใ—่จณใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒใ€ ใงใใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€
03:49
I have another commitment, I'm really sorry, or I would help you if I could,
61
229571
4559
ๅˆฅใฎ็ด„ๆŸใŒ ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ็”ณใ—่จณใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€ใงใใ‚ŒใฐใŠๆ‰‹ไผใ„ใ—ใพใ™ใŒใ€
03:54
but I'm not able to. I've got something else I have to do.
62
234340
2670
ใงใใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ไป–ใซใ‚„ใ‚‰ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚‰ใชใ„ใ“ใจใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
03:57
And those two examples I was clear about saying no,
63
237400
2970
ใใ—ใฆใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎ 2 ใคใฎไพ‹ใง
04:00
but I did it politely and without including too many details.
64
240430
3600
ใฏใ€ๆ–ญใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏๆ˜Ž็ขบใงใ—ใŸใŒใ€ไธๅฏงใซใ€ใ‚ใพใ‚Š่ฉณ็ดฐใ‚’ๅซใ‚ใšใซๆ–ญใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ ใ€‚
04:04
But then there's those situations when you know that saying no is really going
65
244510
5000
ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ ใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ†ใ“ใจใŒๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ
04:10
to disappoint someone and we never like that. We feel guilty.
66
250151
3959
่ชฐใ‹ใ‚’ๅคฑๆœ›ใ•ใ›ใ€็งใŸใกใŒใใ‚Œใ‚’ ๆฑบใ—ใฆๅฅฝใพใชใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹็ŠถๆณใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™. ็งใŸใกใฏ็ฝชๆ‚ชๆ„Ÿใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใพใ™ใ€‚
04:14
We feel regret,
67
254111
1049
04:15
we feel terrible when we know that we're disappointing someone else,
68
255490
4200
ไป–ใฎ่ชฐใ‹ใ‚’ๅคฑๆœ›ใ•
04:20
but sometimes even then we still need to say no because you might truly be
69
260140
5000
ใ›ใฆ ใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็ŸฅใฃใŸใจใใ€็งใŸใกใฏๅพŒๆ‚”ใ—ใ€ใฒใฉใ„
04:25
committed to something else.
70
265661
1379
ๆฐ—ๅˆ†ใซใชใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
04:27
You might need to take care of your kids or simply avoid feeling stressed and
71
267400
4680
ๅญไพ›ใฎไธ–่ฉฑใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ—ใ€ๅ˜ใซใ‚นใƒˆใƒฌใ‚นใ‚„ๅœงๅ€’ใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใชใ„ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ™ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“
04:32
overwhelmed. So in those situations,
72
272081
2999
ใ€‚ ใ—ใŸใŒใฃใฆใ€ใใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใช็Šถๆณใงใฏ
04:35
a great way to say no is to be clear about saying no,
73
275081
4079
ใ€ใƒŽใƒผใจ ่จ€ใ†ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ˜Ž็ขบ
04:39
but also include how you feel. Let me give you an example.
74
279370
3960
ใซใ™ใ‚‹ใ ใ‘ใงใชใใ€่‡ชๅˆ†ใŒใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚’ๅซใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚‚ใ€ใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ†็ด ๆ™ดใ‚‰ใ—ใ„ๆ–นๆณ•ใงใ™ใ€‚ ไพ‹ใ‚’ๆŒ™ใ’ใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
04:43
I'm really sorry, but I have to say no.
75
283780
2400
่ช ใซ็”ณใ—่จณใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒใ€ ๆ–ญใ‚‰ใ–ใ‚‹ใ‚’ๅพ—ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
04:46
I'm over committed right now and I know that if I say yes to you,
76
286570
3840
็งใฏไปŠใ€้ ‘ๅผตใ‚Šใ™ใŽใฆใŠใ‚Š ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใซใ€Œใฏใ„ใ€ใจ
04:50
I won't be able to do my best work. In that example,
77
290411
3449
่จ€ใฃใŸใ‚‰ใ€ๆœ€้ซ˜ใฎไป•ไบ‹ใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใชใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™. ใใฎไพ‹ใง
04:53
not only did I say no,
78
293861
1589
ใฏใ€ใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใฃใŸใ ใ‘ใงใชใใ€ใ‚ณใƒŸใƒƒใƒˆใ—ใ™ใŽใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจ
04:55
but I talked about feeling over committed and the fact that if I said yes,
79
295480
5000
ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆ ใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚„ใ€ใ‚คใ‚จใ‚นใจ
05:00
I wouldn't be able to do my best work.
80
300731
2009
่จ€ใฃใŸใ‚‰ๆœ€้ซ˜ใฎไป•ไบ‹ใŒใงใใชใ„ใจใ„ใ†ไบ‹ๅฎŸใซใคใ„ใฆใ‚‚่ฉฑใ—ใพใ—ใŸ.
05:02
I wouldn't be able to give my full attention or all the energy I need.
81
302770
4380
ๅๅˆ†ใชๆณจๆ„ใ‚’ๆ‰•ใ†ใ“ใจใ‚‚ใ€ ๅฟ…่ฆใชใ™ในใฆใฎใ‚จใƒใƒซใ‚ฎใƒผใ‚’ๆณจใใ“ใจใ‚‚ใงใใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
05:07
And when you share those kinds of details,
82
307510
2130
ใใ—ใฆใ€ใใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใช่ฉณ็ดฐใ‚’ๅ…ฑๆœ‰ใ™ใ‚‹ใจใ€
05:09
it's really difficult for someone else to continue putting pressure on you to
83
309910
4500
ไป–ใฎ่ชฐใ‹ใŒ ใ‚ใชใŸใซใ€Œใฏใ„ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใ‚ˆใ†ใซๅœงๅŠ›ใ‚’ใ‹ใ‘็ถšใ‘ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏๆœฌๅฝ“ใซๅ›ฐ้›ฃใงใ™
05:14
say yes. Similar to saying that you're over committed,
84
314411
3089
. ้ ‘ๅผตใ‚Šใ™ใŽใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจ่จ€ใ†ใฎใจๅŒใ˜ใ‚ˆใ†ใซ ใ€
05:17
you could also use language like you're overwhelmed or you're stretched thin.
85
317650
4770
ๅœงๅ€’ใ•ใ‚ŒใŸใ‚Šใ€ๅŠ›ๅฐฝใใฆใ—ใพใฃใŸใ‚Šใ™ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใช่จ€่‘‰ใ‚’ไฝฟใ†ใ“ใจใ‚‚ใงใใพใ™ใ€‚
05:23
And now let's talk about the hardest situation when you might need to say no.
86
323530
4980
ใใ‚Œใงใฏใ€ ใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ†ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใชใ„ๆœ€ใ‚‚ๅ›ฐ้›ฃใช็Šถๆณใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ—ใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
05:28
And that's when you've already said yes to someone in English.
87
328780
4380
ใใ—ใฆใ€ใใ‚Œใฏใ‚ใชใŸใŒใ™ใงใซ ่ชฐใ‹ใซ่‹ฑ่ชžใงใ€Œใฏใ„ใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃใŸใจใใงใ™.
05:33
We have a great phrasal verb to talk about this situation.
88
333161
3149
ใ“ใฎ็Šถๆณใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ™ใฎใซๆœ€้ฉใชๅฅๅ‹•่ฉžใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
05:36
To back out of something,
89
336790
1620
ไฝ•ใ‹
05:38
to back out of something means that you will not do something that you already
90
338860
5000
ใ‚’ๆ’คๅ›žใ™ใ‚‹ใ€ไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’ๆ’คๅ›žใ™ใ‚‹ ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใฏใ€ใ™ใงใซ
05:44
said you would do. So you might need to back out of a commitment.
91
344650
4410
ใ‚„ใ‚‹ใจ่จ€ใฃใŸใ“ใจใ‚’ใ‚„ใ‚‰ใชใ„ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚ ใใฎ ใŸใ‚ใ€ใ‚ณใƒŸใƒƒใƒˆใƒกใƒณใƒˆใ‚’ๅ–ใ‚Šๆถˆใ™ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ๆ‹›ๅพ…
05:49
You might need to back out of an invitation.
92
349090
2370
ใ‚’ๅ–ใ‚Šๆถˆใ™ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใŒใ‚ใ‚Š ใพใ™ใ€‚ ๅ‹้”
05:51
You might need to back out of lunch with friends and doing that definitely comes
93
351670
5000
ใจใฎใƒฉใƒณใƒใ‚’ๆŽงใˆใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ใใ†ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจ
05:57
with a lot of feelings of guilt, regret,
94
357080
2610
ใงใ€ๅคšใใฎ็ฝชๆ‚ชๆ„Ÿใ€ ๅพŒๆ‚”ใ€
05:59
or even being embarrassed that you have to say no,
95
359960
2730
ใพใŸใฏ ใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ‚ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚‰ใชใ„ใ“ใจใธใฎๆฅใšใ‹ใ—ใ•ใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏ้–“้•ใ„ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
06:03
but these situations happen in real life and I want you to be prepared to deal
96
363020
4800
ใใ‚Œใซ
06:07
with it. In English, it might be because of an emergency.
97
367821
3539
ๅฏพๅ‡ฆใ™ใ‚‹ใ€‚ ่‹ฑ่ชžใง ใฏใ€็ทŠๆ€ฅไบ‹ๆ…‹ใฎใŸใ‚ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
06:11
Maybe there's a crisis at work or you just get sick and you have to say no to
98
371510
4710
ใŸใถใ‚“ใ€่ทๅ ดใงๅฑๆฉŸใŒ็™บ็”Ÿใ—ใŸใ‚Š ใ€็—…ๆฐ—ใซใชใฃใŸใ‚Šใ—ใฆใ€ไฝ•ใ‹ใซใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ‚ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚‰ใชใ„
06:16
something. Here's how you can do it in a polite and caring way. First,
99
376221
4349
. ไธๅฏงใงๆ€ใ„ใ‚„ใ‚Šใฎใ‚ใ‚‹ๆ–นๆณ•ใงใใ‚Œใ‚’่กŒใ†ๆ–นๆณ•ใฏๆฌกใฎใจใŠใ‚Šใงใ™ใ€‚ ใพใšใ€
06:20
apologize and explain why you have to say no.
100
380571
3149
่ฌ็ฝชใ—ใ€ๆ–ญใ‚‰ ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚‰ใชใ„็†็”ฑใ‚’่ชฌๆ˜Žใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
06:23
If you can offer an alternative and finally finished with what you hope will
101
383900
5000
ไปฃๆ›ฟๆ‰‹ๆฎตใ‚’ๆไพ›ใงใใ€ ๆœ€็ต‚็š„ใซๅธŒๆœ›ใฉใŠใ‚Šใซไป•ไธŠใ’ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚Œใฐใ€ๆœ€็ต‚็š„ใซใฏ
06:29
happen in the end. Let's look at examples of putting all of those together.
102
389091
4109
ใใ†ใชใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใ™ในใฆใ‚’็ต„ใฟๅˆใ‚ใ›ใŸไพ‹ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใฆใฟใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
06:33
I'm so sorry,
103
393350
1050
็”ณใ—่จณใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒใ€
06:34
but I won't be able to stay late tonight to help you finish that project.
104
394401
3209
ใ‚ใชใŸใŒใใฎใƒ—ใƒญใ‚ธใ‚งใ‚ฏใƒˆใ‚’ๅฎŒไบ†ใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใ‚’ๆ‰‹ไผใ†ใŸใ‚ใซไปŠๅคœ้…ใใพใงๆปžๅœจใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏใงใใพใ›ใ‚“.
06:37
My daughter's sick and I need to be home with her,
105
397910
2280
ๅจ˜ใŒ็—…ๆฐ—ใงๅฎถใซใ„ใ‚‹ ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚Š
06:40
but I'll send out an email to others on the team to see if anyone else is
106
400220
3630
ใพใ™ใŒใ€ใƒใƒผใƒ ใฎไป–ใฎใƒกใƒณใƒใƒผใซใƒกใƒผใƒซใ‚’้€ไฟกใ—ใฆใ€ ไป–ใฎ่ชฐใ‹ใŒๅˆฉ็”จใงใใ‚‹ใ‹ใฉใ†
06:43
available and I really hope we can find someone. In that example,
107
403851
3629
ใ‹ใ‚’็ขบ่ชใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚่ชฐใ‹ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใคใ‘ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ้ก˜ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™. ใใฎไพ‹ใงใฏใ€
06:47
I apologized and explained why I needed to back out.
108
407510
3180
็งใฏ่ฌ็ฝชใ—ใ€ๆ’คๅ›žใ™ใ‚‹ ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹็†็”ฑใ‚’่ชฌๆ˜Žใ—ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
06:51
I offered an alternative by saying I would help them find someone else and I
109
411170
4710
็งใฏ ๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒไป–ใฎ่ชฐใ‹ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใคใ‘ใ‚‹ใฎใ‚’ๆ‰‹ไผใ†ใจ่จ€ใฃใฆไปฃๆ›ฟๆ‰‹ๆฎตใ‚’ๆไพ›
06:55
ended with what I hoped would happen in the end. Let's look at one more example.
110
415881
4769
ใ—ใ€ๆœ€็ต‚็š„ใซ็งใŒๆœ›ใ‚“ใงใ„ใŸใ“ใจ ใง็ต‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ. ใ‚‚ใ† 1 ใคใฎไพ‹ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใฆใฟใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
07:00
Let's imagine that you've been trying to get together with some of your best
111
420890
3330
ไฝ•้€ฑ้–“ใ‚‚ใฎ้–“ใ€่ฆชๅ‹ใจ
07:04
friends for lunch for weeks and all of you have finally decided on a date,
112
424221
4739
ไธ€็ท’ใซๆ˜ผ้ฃŸใ‚’ใจใ‚ใ†ใจใ—ใฆใ„ ใฆใ€ๆœ€็ต‚็š„ใซๅ…จๅ“กใŒใƒ‡ใƒผใƒˆใ‚’ๆฑบใ‚ใŸใŒใ€
07:09
but you've just had a crisis come up at work,
113
429530
2700
ไป•ไบ‹ใงๅฑๆฉŸใŒ็™บ็”Ÿใ—ใŸใฐใ‹ใ‚Šใ ใจๆƒณๅƒใ—ใฆใฟ
07:12
so here's how you could manage that situation. I'm really sorry,
114
432410
3540
ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ใใฎ็Šถๆณใ‚’็ฎก็†ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ ็”ณใ—่จณใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒใ€
07:15
but I have to tell you, I can't come to lunch tomorrow.
115
435951
2249
ๆ˜Žๆ—ฅใฏใƒฉใƒณใƒใซ่กŒใ‘ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
07:18
We've had a crisis come up at work and there's no way that I can leave my team
116
438350
3660
่ทๅ ดใงๅฑๆฉŸใŒ็™บ็”Ÿใ—ใ€ไปŠใ™ใ ใƒใƒผใƒ ใ‚’้›ขใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏใงใใพใ›ใ‚“
07:22
right now. I know it was really hard for all of us to find a date,
117
442011
3419
ใ€‚ ็ง ใŸใกๅ…จๅ“กใŒๆ—ฅไป˜ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใคใ‘ใ‚‹ใฎใฏๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ้›ฃใ—ใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ€
07:25
so please go ahead and have lunch without me or hopefully we can all find
118
445730
4020
็งใชใ—ใงๆ˜ผ้ฃŸใ‚’ๅ–ใฃใฆ
07:29
another time in the next week or two. Again,
119
449751
2519
ใใ ใ•ใ„. ๆ”นใ‚ใฆ
07:32
I've apologized and explained the situation.
120
452300
2610
ใŠ่ฉซใณใจ ไบ‹ๆƒ…่ชฌๆ˜Žใ‚’ใ•ใ›ใฆใ„ใŸใ ใใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
07:35
I've offered a couple of alternatives saying they can either continue without me
121
455270
3780
็งใชใ—ใง็ถšใ‘ใ‚‹
07:39
or we could try to find another time and I hoped that it would work out in the
122
459380
3780
ใ‹ใ€ๅˆฅใฎๆ™‚้–“ ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใคใ‘ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚‹ใจ่จ€ใฃใฆใ€ใ„ใใคใ‹ใฎ้ธๆŠž่‚ขใ‚’ๆๆกˆใ—ใพใ—
07:43
end. Now that you know how to say no politely in English,
123
463161
2999
ใŸใ€‚ ่‹ฑ่ชžใงไธๅฏงใซใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ†ๆ–นๆณ•ใŒใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸใฎใง
07:46
I want you to practice and you can share your answer with me in the comments
124
466161
3239
ใ€็ทด็ฟ’ใ—ใฆใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใ„ใŸใ„ใฎใง ใ€ไปฅไธ‹ใฎใ‚ณใƒกใƒณใƒˆใงใ‚ใชใŸใฎ็ญ”ใˆใ‚’็งใจๅ…ฑๆœ‰ใ—ใฆ
07:49
below. Think about a time when you said yes to something,
125
469401
4169
ใใ ใ•ใ„. ไฝ•ใ‹ใซใ€Œใฏใ„ใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃใŸใŒใ€
07:53
but you immediately regretted it. Either you had too much going on,
126
473690
4440
ใ™ใใซๅพŒๆ‚”ใ—ใŸใจใใฎใ“ใจใ‚’่€ƒใˆใฆใฟใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ใ‚ใพใ‚Šใซใ‚‚ๅคšใใฎใ“ใจใŒ่ตทใ“ใฃใฆใ„ใŸใ‹ใ€
07:58
you were exhausted and stressed and you really wish you had said no.
127
478131
5000
็–ฒใ‚Œๆžœใฆใฆใ‚นใƒˆใƒฌใ‚นใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ„ใŸ ใ‹ใ€ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใฃใฆใ„ใŸใ‚‰ใ‚ˆใ‹ใฃใŸใฎใซใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
08:04
What could you have said?
128
484550
1410
ใ‚ใชใŸใฏไฝ•ใ‚’่จ€ใ†ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ—ใŸใ‹๏ผŸ ๅญฆใ‚“ใ 
08:06
Try using the strategies that you've learned and share those with me now.
129
486350
3510
ๆˆฆ็•ฅใ‚’ไฝฟใฃใฆใฟใฆใ€ ไปŠใ™ใ็งใจๅ…ฑๆœ‰ใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
08:09
As always, if you want more examples of how to politely say no in English,
130
489861
4049
ใ„ใคใ‚‚ ใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ€่‹ฑ่ชžใงไธๅฏงใซใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ†ๆ–นๆณ•ใฎไพ‹ใŒใ‚‚ใฃใจๅฟ…่ฆ
08:13
I've got those for you in the online lesson. Plus, if you love this topic,
131
493940
3810
ใชๅ ดๅˆใฏใ€ใ‚ชใƒณใƒฉใ‚คใƒณ ใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใงใใ‚Œใ‚‰ใ‚’็”จๆ„ใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ ใ€‚ ใ•ใ‚‰ใซใ€ใ“ใฎใƒˆใƒ”ใƒƒใ‚ฏใŒๆฐ—ใซๅ…ฅใฃใŸๅ ดๅˆใฏใ€ๅ›ฐ้›ฃใช็Šถๆณ
08:17
be sure to check out my playlist on dealing with difficult situations.
132
497780
3900
ใซๅฏพๅ‡ฆใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใฎ็งใฎๅ†็”Ÿใƒชใ‚นใƒˆใ‚’ๅฟ…ใšใƒใ‚งใƒƒใ‚ฏใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ .
08:21
For example,
133
501710
601
ใŸใจใˆใฐใ€
08:22
how to deal with rude questions and don't forget that you can subscribe to this
134
502311
3809
ๅคฑ็คผใช่ณชๅ•ใซๅฏพๅ‡ฆใ™ใ‚‹ๆ–นๆณ•ใ‚„ ใ€ใ“ใฎใƒใƒฃใƒณใƒใƒซใ‚’่ณผ่ชญใงใใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๅฟ˜ใ‚Œใชใ„ใงใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
08:26
channel so you never miss a future Confident English lesson.
135
506121
3539
ใใ†ใ™ใ‚Œใฐใ€ ๅฐ†ๆฅใฎ่‡ชไฟกใซๆบ€ใกใŸ่‹ฑ่ชžใฎใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใ‚’่ฆ‹้€ƒใ™ใ“ใจใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“.
08:30
Thank you so much for joining me and I'll see you next time.
136
510200
2640
ใ”ๅ‚ๅŠ ใ„ใŸใ ใใ‚ใ‚ŠใŒใจใ†ใ”ใ–ใ„ใพใ— ใŸใ€‚ใพใŸๆฌกๅ›žใŠไผšใ„ใ—ใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
ใ“ใฎใ‚ฆใ‚งใƒ–ใ‚ตใ‚คใƒˆใซใคใ„ใฆ

ใ“ใฎใ‚ตใ‚คใƒˆใงใฏ่‹ฑ่ชžๅญฆ็ฟ’ใซๅฝน็ซ‹ใคYouTubeๅ‹•็”ปใ‚’็ดนไป‹ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ไธ–็•Œไธญใฎไธ€ๆต่ฌ›ๅธซใซใ‚ˆใ‚‹่‹ฑ่ชžใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใ‚’่ฆ‹ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ๅ„ใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใฎใƒšใƒผใ‚ธใซ่กจ็คบใ•ใ‚Œใ‚‹่‹ฑ่ชžๅญ—ๅน•ใ‚’ใƒ€ใƒ–ใƒซใ‚ฏใƒชใƒƒใ‚ฏใ™ใ‚‹ใจใ€ใใ“ใ‹ใ‚‰ใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใ‚’ๅ†็”Ÿใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ๅญ—ๅน•ใฏใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใฎๅ†็”ŸใจๅŒๆœŸใ—ใฆใ‚นใ‚ฏใƒญใƒผใƒซใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ใ”ๆ„่ฆ‹ใƒปใ”่ฆๆœ›ใŒใ”ใ–ใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ‚‰ใ€ใ“ใกใ‚‰ใฎใŠๅ•ใ„ๅˆใ‚ใ›ใƒ•ใ‚ฉใƒผใƒ ใ‚ˆใ‚Šใ”้€ฃ็ตกใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚

https://forms.gle/WvT1wiN1qDtmnspy7