Passive-Aggressive Language

356,175 views ใƒป 2017-08-27

English Jade


ไธ‹ใฎ่‹ฑ่ชžๅญ—ๅน•ใ‚’ใƒ€ใƒ–ใƒซใ‚ฏใƒชใƒƒใ‚ฏใ™ใ‚‹ใจๅ‹•็”ปใ‚’ๅ†็”Ÿใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ ็ฟป่จณใ•ใ‚ŒใŸๅญ—ๅน•ใฏๆฉŸๆขฐ็ฟป่จณใงใ™ใ€‚

00:00
Hey, everyone. In this lesson we're going to talk about passive aggression
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ใ“ใ‚“ใซใกใฏใ€ใฟใชใ•ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใ“ใฎใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใงใฏ ใ€ๅ—ๅ‹•็š„ๆ”ปๆ’ƒใพใŸใฏๅ—ๅ‹•็š„ๆ”ปๆ’ƒใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ—ใพใ™
00:03
or being passive aggressive.
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ใ€‚
00:06
A passive-aggressive person finds it really hard to say what they really
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ใƒ‘ใƒƒใ‚ทใƒ–ใ‚ขใ‚ฐใƒฌใƒƒใ‚ทใƒ–ใชไบบใฏใ€ ่‡ชๅˆ†ใŒๆœฌๅฝ“ใซๆœ›ใ‚“ใงใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ€ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซๅฟ…่ฆใชใ“ใจใ‚’่จ€ใ†ใฎใŒ้žๅธธใซ้›ฃใ—ใใ€
00:12
want and what they really need, and sometimes they feel like they can't directly be angry.
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็›ดๆŽฅๆ€’ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใชใ„ใ‚ˆใ†ใซๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
00:21
So their words come out as if their words mean: "That's fine", or "That's okay", or
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ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฎ ่จ€่‘‰ใฏใ€Œใใ‚Œใงใ„ใ„ใ€ใ€Œๅคงไธˆๅคซใ€ใ€Œ
00:27
"I'm feeling good", but actually the real meaning of what they're saying is opposite.
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ๆฐ—ๅˆ†ใŒใ„ใ„ใ€ ใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซๅ‡บใฆใใพใ™ใŒใ€ๆœฌๅฝ“ใฎๆ„ๅ‘ณใฏ้€†ใงใ™ใ€‚
00:32
The words, if we just listen to the words, they're not showing that the person's angry,
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่จ€่‘‰ใ‚’่žใใ ใ‘ใชใ‚‰ ใ€ใใฎไบบใŒๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็คบใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใงใฏใชใใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰
00:38
but the true meaning of what they're trying to say shows that they're not happy about something.
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ใŒ่จ€ใŠใ†ใจใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฎๆœฌๅฝ“ใฎๆ„ๅ‘ณใฏใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒ ไฝ•ใ‹ใซๆบ€่ถณใ—ใฆใ„ใชใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’็คบใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™.
00:44
And if you wondered why I'm wearing this cape today it's because it protects me
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ใชใœ็งใŒไปŠๆ—ฅใ“ใฎใƒžใƒณใƒˆใ‚’็€ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹็–‘ๅ•ใซๆ€ใ‚ใ‚ŒใŸๆ–นใ‚‚ใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œ ใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒใ€ใใ‚Œใฏ็งใฎใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใงใฎ
00:49
from passive-aggressive comments in my videos.
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ๅ—ๅ‹•็š„ใงๆ”ปๆ’ƒ็š„ใชใ‚ณใƒกใƒณใƒˆใ‹ใ‚‰็งใ‚’ๅฎˆใฃใฆใใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‰ ใงใ™.
00:53
So let's have a look at the different kinds of passive aggression. This will help you
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ใใ‚Œใงใฏใ€ใ•ใพใ–ใพใช็จฎ้กž ใฎๅ—ๅ‹•็š„ๆ”ปๆ’ƒใ‚’่ฆ‹ใฆใฟใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚ ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ
00:59
to get more of an idea what it is. We've got overt passive aggression and covert passive
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ใ€ใใ‚ŒใŒไฝ•ใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚’ใ‚ˆใ‚Š็†่งฃใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใซๅฝน็ซ‹ใกใพใ™ใ€‚ ็งใŸใกใฏ ๆ˜Ž็™ฝใชๅ—ๅ‹•็š„ๆ”ปๆ’ƒใจ้š ใ‚ŒใŸๅ—ๅ‹•
01:06
aggression. When something's overt, it's obvious, it's more obvious, we can see it; and when
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็š„ๆ”ปๆ’ƒใ‚’ๆŒใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™. ไฝ•ใ‹ใŒๆ˜Ž็™ฝใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใจใใ€ใใ‚Œใฏๆ˜Žใ‚‰ใ‹ใงใ‚ใ‚Šใ€ ใ‚ˆใ‚Šๆ˜Ž็™ฝใงใ‚ใ‚Šใ€็งใŸใกใฏใใ‚Œใ‚’่ฆ‹ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚
01:14
something is covert it's like hidden.
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ไฝ•ใ‹ใŒ้š ใ•ใ‚Œ ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใใ€ใใ‚Œใฏ้š ใ•ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใชใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™ใ€‚
01:17
So let's start with overt passive aggression, the more obvious kinds. Someone... Someone's
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ใใ‚Œใงใฏใ€ๆ˜Ž็™ฝใชๅ—ๅ‹•็š„ๆ”ปๆ’ƒใ€ใ‚ˆใ‚Šๆ˜Ž็™ฝใช็จฎ้กžใ‹ใ‚‰ๅง‹ใ‚ใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ† ใ€‚ ่ชฐใ‹ใŒ... ่ชฐใ‹
01:26
not happy with you, they can give you the "silent treatment", that's when they're just
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ใŒใ‚ใชใŸใซไธๆบ€ใ‚’ๆŒใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏ ใ‚ใชใŸใซใ€Œ็„ก่จ€ใฎๆ‰ฑใ„ใ€ใ‚’ไธŽใˆใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™
01:30
like: "Umph." They won't talk to you, they're sort of ignoring you, and they want you to
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ใ€‚ ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏใ‚ใชใŸใจ่ฉฑใใ†ใจใฏใ—ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏ ใ‚ใชใŸใ‚’็„ก่ฆ–ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใง
01:38
know that you're really pissed off with them, you're really angry with them, and you're
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ใ€ ใ‚ใชใŸใŒๆœฌๅฝ“ใซๅฝผใ‚‰ใซ่…นใ‚’็ซ‹ใฆใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒๅฝผใ‚‰ใซๆœฌๅฝ“ใซๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ€ใใ—ใฆ
01:44
so angry you can't talk. So it might be for a few hours, it might be for a few weeks.
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ใ‚ใชใŸใŒใจใฆใ‚‚ๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ใ‚ใชใŸใซ็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใ„ใŸใ„ใฎใงใ™ใ€‚ ่ฉฑใ€‚ ๆ•ฐๆ™‚้–“ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใชใ„ใ—ใ€ๆ•ฐ้€ฑ้–“ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใชใ„ใ€‚
01:51
Sometimes married couples don't speak to each other for weeks if they do this silent treatment
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็ตๅฉšใ—ใŸใ‚ซใƒƒใƒ—ใƒซใฏใ€ ใ“ใฎ็„ก่จ€ใฎๆ‰ฑใ„ใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ใจใ€ไฝ•้€ฑ้–“ใ‚‚ใŠไบ’ใ„ใซ่ฉฑใ‚’ใ—ใชใ„
01:56
thing. When you give someone the "cold shoulder" that's when you're around that person, but
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ใ“ใจใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™. ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ่ชฐใ‹ใซใ€Œๅ†ทใŸใ„่‚ฉใ€ใ‚’ไธŽใˆใ‚‹ ใจใใ€ใใ‚Œใฏใ‚ใชใŸใŒใใฎไบบใฎๅ‘จใ‚Šใซใ„ใ‚‹ใจใ
02:05
you make no effort to be warm to them, to be nice to them. It's a bit like just... It's
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ใงใ™ใ€‚ ใใ‚ŒใฏใŸใ ใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใชใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™.
02:15
a big like ignoring them or just showing that:
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ๅฝผใ‚‰ใ‚’็„ก่ฆ–ใ™ใ‚‹ ใ‹ใ€ๅ˜ใซใใ‚Œใ‚’็คบใ™ใ‚ˆใ†ใชใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™:
02:17
"Oh, I don't... I don't... I don't want to know you. I just don't want to know you."
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ใ€Œใ‚ใ‚ใ€็งใฏ... ็งใฏ . ใ‚ใชใŸใ‚’็Ÿฅใ‚ŠใŸใ„ใ€‚ใ€
02:23
And a very clear, direct way of giving someone
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ใใ—ใฆใ€่ชฐใ‹ใซๅ†ทใŸใ„่‚ฉใ‚’ไธŽใˆใ‚‹้žๅธธใซๆ˜Ž็ขบใง็›ดๆŽฅ็š„ใช ๆ–นๆณ•ใฏใ€
02:27
the cold shoulder would be if somebody said: "Hi" or maybe wanted to shake your hand, and
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่ชฐใ‹ใŒใ€Œใ“ใ‚“ใซใกใฏใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃใŸๅ ดๅˆใ€ ใพใŸใฏๆกๆ‰‹ใ—ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใฃใŸ
02:33
it would be so direct if you just didn't shake their hand or you're like: "Hi", that sometimes happens.
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ๅ ดๅˆใงใ™ใ€‚ ๏ผšใ€Œใ“ใ‚“ใซใกใฏใ€ใ€ใใ‚Œใฏๆ™‚ใ€…่ตทใ“ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
02:43
Now let's look at covert passive aggression. This is when it's less obvious and sometimes
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ใใ‚Œใงใฏใ€้š ใ‚ŒใŸๅ—ๅ‹•็š„ๆ”ปๆ’ƒใ‚’่ฆ‹ใฆใฟใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
02:49
you have to really think about it:
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02:51
"What is this person doing? Am I...? Am I mad? Am I making this up? Is it true?"
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ใ€Œใ“ใฎไบบใฏไฝ•ใ‚’ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹? ็งใฏโ€ฆ? ็งใฏ ๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ ใ‚ใ†ใ‹? ใ“ใ‚ŒใฏใงใฃใกไธŠใ’ใชใฎใ ใ‚ใ†ใ‹? ใใ‚Œใฏๆœฌๅฝ“ใ ใ‚ใ†ใ‹?ใ€
02:56
Okay, so now I admit that I have been once very skilled
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ใ•ใฆใ€็ง ใฏใ‹ใคใฆๅ—ๅ‹•็š„ๆ”ปๆ’ƒใฎ่Šธ่ก“ใซ้žๅธธใซ็†Ÿ็ทดใ—ใฆใ„ใŸใ“ใจใ‚’่ชใ‚ใพใ™
03:01
in the arts of passive aggression myself, and one of my jobs when I was 17 years old,
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.17ๆญณใฎใจใใฎไป•ไบ‹ใฎ1ใคใง
03:08
I worked in a fake Italian restaurant, and I hated this job. And one of the ways I showed
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ใ€ๅฝใฎใ‚คใ‚ฟใƒชใ‚ขใƒณใƒฌใ‚นใƒˆใƒฉใƒณใงๅƒใ„ใฆใ„ใพใ—ใŸใŒใ€ ใ“ใฎไป•ไบ‹ใŒๅซŒใ„ใงใ—ใŸ. ใใ—ใฆ
03:16
how much I hated it was my job was making... Making desserts and serving the drinks, and
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ใ€็งใŒ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎไป•ไบ‹ใŒใฉใ‚Œใ ใ‘ๅซŒใ„ใ‹ใ‚’็คบใ—ใŸๆ–นๆณ•ใฎ1ใคใฏใ€ ใƒ‡ใ‚ถใƒผใƒˆใ‚’ไฝœใฃใฆ้ฃฒใฟ็‰ฉใ‚’ๆไพ›ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจ
03:22
one of the ways I showed I hated this job was to put the desserts on the plate in a
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ใงใ—ใŸ.ใ“ใฎไป•ไบ‹ใŒๅซŒใ„ใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็คบใ—ใŸๆ–นๆณ•ใฎ1ใคใฏใ€
03:27
way where they looked as bad as they possibly could, but only just passing. So the... So
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ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏๅฏ่ƒฝใช้™ใ‚Šๆ‚ชใ„ใ‚ˆใ†ใซ่ฆ‹ใˆใพใ— ใŸใŒใ€ใŸใ ้€šใ‚Š้ŽใŽใ‚‹ใ ใ‘ใงใ—ใŸใ€‚ ใใ‚Œใง
03:37
the waiters would still take them out, or the manager of the restaurant would come and
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ใ€ใ‚ฆใ‚งใ‚คใ‚ฟใƒผใฏใพใ ใใ‚Œใ‚‰ใ‚’ๅ–ใ‚Šๅ‡บใ—ใŸใ‚Š ใ€ใƒฌใ‚นใƒˆใƒฉใƒณใฎใƒžใƒใƒผใ‚ธใƒฃใƒผใŒๆฅ
03:43
look at it and think: "This looks... This looks bad", and he would be a bit annoyed
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ใฆใ€ใใ‚Œใ‚’่ฆ‹ใฆใ€ใ€Œใ“ใ‚Œใฏโ€ฆ ใ“ใ‚Œ ใฏๆ‚ชใ„ใ‚ˆใ†ใซ่ฆ‹ใˆใ‚‹ใ€ใจ่€ƒใˆใ€ๅฝผใฏ็งใซๅฐ‘ใ—่…น
03:47
with me, but he would still take it because there's more things to do. So in my little
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ใ‚’็ซ‹ใฆใฆใ„ใพใ—ใŸ. ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ใ‚„ใ‚‹ในใใ“ใจใŒใ‚‚ใฃใจใ‚ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ€ๅฝผใฏใพใ ใใ‚Œใ‚’ๅ–ใ‚‹ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ† ใ€‚ ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€
03:52
teenager head, every time I made those desserts look bad, I was like:
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10ไปฃใฎ้ ƒใฎ็งใฎ้ ญใฎไธญใงใฏใ€ ใƒ‡ใ‚ถใƒผใƒˆใฎ่ฆ‹ใŸ็›ฎใ‚’ๆ‚ชใใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใณใซใ€
03:56
"Haha, hahahaha. Ha, I hate this job." Right.
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ใ€Œใฏใฏใฏใฏใฏใฏใฏใฏใฏใฏใฏใฏใฏใฏใฏใฏใฏใฏใ€ ใ“ใฎไป•ไบ‹ใฏๅซŒใ„ใ ใ€ใจๆ€ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ ๅณใ€‚
04:00
Moving on to "procrastination", that means taking a really long time before you actually
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ใ€Œๅ…ˆๅปถใฐใ—ใ€ใซ็งปใ‚‹ใจ ใ€ๅฎŸ้š›ใซไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’ใ—ใŸใ‚Šใ€ใ‚„ใ‚Š้‚ใ’ใŸใ‚Šใ™ใ‚‹ๅ‰ใซใ€้žๅธธใซ้•ทใ„ๆ™‚้–“ใŒใ‹ใ‹ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ—ใพใ™
04:09
do something or get it done. So, have you ever been in a situation where you ask someone
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ใ€‚ ่ชฐใ‹
04:15
to do something for you and they keep saying:
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ใซไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’้ ผใ‚“
04:18
"Yeah, in a minute, yeah, it's just coming, I'm just about to do it",
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ใ ใ‚‰ใ€ใ€Œใˆใˆใ€ใ™ใใซใ€ใˆใˆใ€ ใ‚‚ใ†ใ™ใใ‚„ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€
04:22
and it still doesn't happen; you have to ask them about 10 times?
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ใจ่จ€ใ„็ถšใ‘ใ€ไปŠใงใ‚‚ใใ†ใงใ™ใ€‚ ่ตทใ“ใ‚‰ใชใ„; 10ๅ›žใใ‚‰ใ„่žใ‹ใชใใ‚ƒใ„ใ‘ใชใ„ใฎ๏ผŸ
04:27
That can be a form of covert passive aggression. Not every time, obviously. It just... It depends
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ใใ‚Œใฏใ€้š ใ‚ŒใŸๅ—ๅ‹•็š„ๆ”ปๆ’ƒใฎไธ€ๅฝขๆ…‹ใงใ‚ใ‚‹ๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ๆ˜Žใ‚‰ใ‹ใซๆฏŽๅ›žใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใใ‚ŒใฏใŸใ ...
04:34
if someone is always doing it.
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่ชฐใ‹ใŒใ„ใคใ‚‚ใ‚„ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใฉใ†ใ‹ใซใ‚ˆใฃใฆ็•ฐใชใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
04:37
"Constantly late" is another one. Sometimes if people just don't really care that much,
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ใ€Œๅธธใซ้…ใ„ใ€ใฏๅˆฅใฎใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™ใ€‚ ไบบใ€…ใŒใ‚ใพใ‚Šๆฐ—ใซใ—ใชใ„ๅ ดๅˆใ€
04:45
they'll be late and late and late, and also sometimes they're late because they... They
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ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏ้…ใ‚Œใฆ้…ใ‚Œใฆ้…ใ‚Œใฆใ—ใพใ†ใ“ใจใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Œใฐใ€้…ๅˆปใ™ใ‚‹ ใ“ใจใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™.
04:52
just find it really hard to say: "I don't want to meet you at that time that we arranged."
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็งใŸใกใŒๆ‰‹้…ใ—ใŸใใฎๆ™‚้–“ใซไผšใ„ใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚ใ€
05:01
They find it really hard to say: "I'd rather meet at 7." So because they can't say it,
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ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏใ€ใ€Œ7ๆ™‚ใซไผšใ„ใŸใ„ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใฎใฏๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ้›ฃใ—ใ„ใจๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ„ใพใ™ ใ€‚ ใคใพใ‚Šใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏใใ‚Œใ‚’่จ€ใˆใชใ„ใฎใง
05:07
they just think: "I'll turn up late, that's when I wanted to arrive anyway", and the reason
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ใ€ใ€Œ็งใฏ้…ใ‚Œใฆๆฅใ‚‹ใ ใ‚ใ† ใ€ใจใซใ‹ใใใฎๆ™‚้–“ใซๅˆฐ็€ใ—ใŸใ‹ใฃใŸใ€ใจ่€ƒใˆใฆ
05:11
is they can't, like, can't say it in the first place.
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ใ„ ใพใ™ใ€‚ .
05:15
Next: "late-minute cancellations". Well, this can happen when you don't... You just don't
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ๆฌก๏ผšใ€Œๆทฑๅคœใฎใ‚ญใƒฃใƒณใ‚ปใƒซใ€ใ€‚ ใˆใˆใจใ€ใ“ใ‚Œ ใฏใ‚ใชใŸใŒใใ†ใ—ใชใ„ใจใใซ่ตทใ“ใ‚‹ๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™... ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ
05:22
really want to go somewhere, you just don't really want to meet that person, but they
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ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซใฉใ“ใ‹ใซ่กŒใใŸใใชใ„ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซใใฎไบบใซไผšใ„ใŸใใชใ„ใฎใงใ™ใŒใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰
05:26
called you up and you... They invited you somewhere and you said you'd go, but when
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ใฏใ‚ใชใŸใซ้›ป่ฉฑใ‚’ใ‹ใ‘ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ... ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏใ‚ใชใŸใ‚’ใฉใ“ใ‹ใซๆ‹›ๅพ…ใ—ใพใ—ใŸ ใใ—ใฆใ‚ใชใŸใฏ่กŒใใจ่จ€ใฃใŸใ‘ใฉใ€
05:31
you get near the time you realize you just don't really care that much and you don't
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ใใฎๆ™‚้–“ใŒ่ฟ‘ใฅใ ใจใ€่‡ชๅˆ†ใฏใ‚ใพใ‚Šๆฐ—ใซใ—ใฆใ„ใชใ„
05:35
really want to go, so that can be a... You know, you get near the time and you get like:
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ใ—ใ€่กŒใใŸใใชใ„ ใ“ใจใซๆฐ—ใŒใคใใ€‚ ๆ™‚้–“ใŒ็ตŒใคใจใ€
05:41
"Oh no, I can't be bothered."
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ใ€Œใ‚ใ‚ใ€ใ„ใ‚„ใ€ๆฐ—ใซใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏใงใใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€ใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซใชใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
05:43
Next is "forgetting". I once worked in a learning English school in Dubai, and English teachers,
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ๆฌกใฏใ€Œๅฟ˜ๅดใ€ใงใ™ใ€‚ ็งใฏใ‹ใคใฆใƒ‰ใƒใ‚คใฎๅญฆ็ฟ’่‹ฑ่ชžๅญฆๆ กใงๅƒใ„ใฆใ„ใพใ—ใŸใŒ ใ€่‹ฑ่ชžใฎๆ•™ๅธซ
05:54
they always have so many pages to photocopy for everyone in the class and if you're doing
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ใฏๅธธใซใ‚ฏใƒฉใ‚นใฎๅ…จๅ“กใฎใŸใ‚ใซ้žๅธธใซๅคšใใฎใƒšใƒผใ‚ธใ‚’ใ‚ณใƒ”ใƒผ ใ™ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใ€
05:59
more than one page you can be ages on the photocopier. And the manager in the school said:
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่ค‡ๆ•ฐใฎใƒšใƒผใ‚ธใ‚’ไฝœๆˆใ™ใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใฏใ‚ณใƒ”ใƒผๆฉŸใงไฝ•ๅนดใ‚‚้Žใ”ใ™ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ . ใใ—ใฆใ€ๅญฆๆ กใฎใƒžใƒใƒผใ‚ธใƒฃใƒผใฏใ€
06:04
"It's no problem if you need someone to photocopy stuff for you. Just ask the receptionist."
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ใ€Œ่ชฐใ‹ใซใ‚ณใƒ”ใƒผใ‚’ใ—ใฆใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใ†ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใฃใฆใ‚‚ๅ•้กŒใ‚ใ‚Š ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ๅ—ไป˜ไฟ‚ใซ่žใ„ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
06:09
I thought: "All right, that's good", and I asked the receptionist:
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็งใฏใ€Œใ‚ˆใ—ใ€ใใ‚Œใงใ„ใ„ใ€ ใจๆ€ใ„ใ€ๅ—ไป˜ไฟ‚ใซ
06:13
"I need this page and this page photocopied. I need eight copies. I need whatever", and she said:
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ใ€Œใ“ใฎใƒšใƒผใ‚ธใจใ“ใฎใƒšใƒผใ‚ธใฎใ‚ณใƒ”ใƒผ ใŒๅฟ…่ฆใงใ™ใ€‚8 ้ƒจๅฟ…่ฆใงใ™ใ€‚ใชใ‚“ใงใ‚‚ใ„ใ„ใงใ™ใ€ใจๅฐ‹ใญใ‚‹ใจใ€ๅฝผๅฅณใฏ่จ€ใ„ใพใ—ใŸ
06:19
"Sure, Miss Jade. I'll photocopy this for you."
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ใ€‚ ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚’ใ‚ณใƒ”ใƒผใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ใ€
06:23
And I come back just before class to get my photocopies,
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ๆŽˆๆฅญใฎ็›ดๅ‰ใซใ‚ณใƒ”ใƒผใ‚’ๅ–ใ‚Šใซๆˆปใฃใฆใใฆใ€
06:28
ask where they are, she said: "Oh, sorry, Miss Jade. I forgot to do your photocopies."
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ใฉใ“ใซใ‚ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹ๅฐ‹ใญใ‚‹ใจใ€ๅฝผๅฅณใฏ่จ€ใ„ใพใ—ใŸ ใ€‚
06:33
And I was like: "Oh, okay. Don't worry about it." Did it myself. Next day, ask her to do
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ใใ—ใฆใ€็งใฏใ€Œใ‚ใ‚ใ€ๅคงไธˆๅคซใ€‚ๅฟƒ้…ใ—ใชใ„ใง ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ ่‡ชๅˆ†ใงใ‚„ใฃใŸใ€‚ ็ฟŒๆ—ฅใ€ๅฝผๅฅณใซ
06:42
some photocopies, same thing happened. "Oh, sorry, Miss Jade. I forgot to do your photocopies."
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ๅ†™็œŸใ‚’ๆ’ฎใฃใฆใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใ†ใ‚ˆใ†ใซ้ ผใ‚“ใ ใจใ“ใ‚ใ€ๅŒใ˜ใ“ใจใŒ่ตทใ“ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ ใ€Œใ‚ใ‚ใ€ใ™ใฟใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€ ใƒŸใ‚นใƒปใ‚ธใ‚งใ‚คใƒ‰ใ€‚ใ‚ณใƒ”ใƒผใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใ‚’ๅฟ˜ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ใ€
06:48
And then I had to just be, like, step back and think about it: Is she actually forgetting
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ๅฝผๅฅณใฏๆœฌๅฝ“ใซๅฟ˜ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ‹ใ€ใใ‚Œใจใ‚‚
06:55
or does this mean:
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06:56
"Miss Jade, I don't want to do your photocopies, it's not my job to do your photocopies"?
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ใ€ŒใƒŸใ‚นใƒปใ‚ธใ‚งใ‚คใƒ‰ใ€็งใฏใ‚ใชใŸใฎใ‚ณใƒ”ใƒผใ‚’ใ—ใŸใใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ใ‚ใชใŸใฎใ‚ณใƒ”ใƒผใ‚’ ใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใฏ็งใฎไป•ไบ‹ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€ใจใ„ใ†ๆ„ๅ‘ณใงใ™ใ‹?
07:01
So I finally realized that sometimes forgetting or not doing something
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ใใ‚Œใงใ€ ไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’ๅฟ˜ใ‚ŒใŸใ‚Šใ€ใ—ใชใ„ใ“ใจ
07:08
is a way that people who can't directly say: "It's not my job" or "Don't ask me", they
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ใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใฏใ€ ใ€Œใใ‚Œใฏ็งใฎไป•ไบ‹ใงใฏใชใ„ใ€ใจใ‹ใ€Œ็งใซ่žใ‹ใชใ„ใงใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€ใจ็›ดๆŽฅ่จ€ใ†ใ“ใจใŒใงใใชใ„ไบบใ€…ใŒ
07:16
show you that way. Okay? And this is more of a... That kind of thing you can see with
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ใ‚ใชใŸใซใใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซ็คบใ™ๆ–นๆณ•ใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใซๆœ€็ต‚็š„ใซๆฐ—ใฅใใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ใใ—ใฆใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ ใ‚‚ใฃใจโ€ฆ ๆ–‡ๅŒ–ใฎ้•ใ„ใงใ‚‚ใฃใจ่ฆ‹ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚‹ใฎใฏใ€ใใฎ
07:22
the cultural differences more because that receptionist, she was from the Philippines
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ๅ—ไป˜ไฟ‚ใŒใƒ•ใ‚ฃใƒชใƒ”ใƒณๅ‡บ่บซใง
07:31
and I would guess that there they just have a hard time telling the teacher no, for example.
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ใ€ใŸใจใˆใฐใ€ๅ…ˆ็”ŸใซใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใ†ใฎใซ่‹ฆๅŠดใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
07:37
They just have other ways of showing it. Okay?
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ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏใใ‚Œใ‚’็คบใ™ไป–ใฎๆ–นๆณ•ใ‚’ๆŒใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ ใ‘ ใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
07:41
And the last example here is... It's a little bit similar to doing the sloppy work, if you
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ใ“ใ“ใงใฎๆœ€ๅพŒใฎไพ‹ใฏ... ใšใ•ใ‚“ใชไป•ไบ‹ใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใจๅฐ‘ใ—ไผผใฆใ„ใพใ™.
07:51
don't like someone or you don't like a job, you can show it by misusing the tools and
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่ชฐใ‹ใŒๅฅฝใใงใฏใชใ„ใ€ใพใŸใฏไป•ไบ‹ใŒๅฅฝใใงใฏใชใ„ ๅ ดๅˆใ€ใƒ„ใƒผใƒซใ‚’ๆ‚ช็”จใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใใ‚Œใ‚’็คบใ™ใ“ใจใŒใงใ
07:59
not... "Breaking things", not using things carefully because it's not... It's not your
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ใพใ™...ใ€
08:07
thing, whatever it is, so you don't care, you can just break it. So what? It's not yours.
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ใใ‚ŒใŒไฝ•ใงใ‚ใ‚Œใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฎใ‚‚ใฎใงใฏใชใ„ใฎใงใ€ๆฐ—ใซใ—ใชใ„ใงใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸ ใฏใใ‚Œใ‚’ๅฃŠใ™ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™. ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ไฝ•๏ผŸ ใใ‚Œใฏใ‚ใชใŸใฎใ‚‚ใฎใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
08:11
So it could be something that happened to my brother, my brother is a stone mason, he
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็งใฎๅ…„ๅผŸใซไฝ•ใ‹ใŒ่ตทใ“ใฃใŸใฎใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ ใ€็งใฎๅ…„ๅผŸใฏ็Ÿณๅทฅใงใ€
08:19
uses... He uses tools to, like, shape stones, and he was working on a job where someone
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ๅฝผใฏ็Ÿณใ‚’ๅฝขไฝœใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซ้“ๅ…ทใ‚’ไฝฟใฃใฆใ„ใฆใ€ ่ชฐใ‹
08:29
borrowed his tools and brought them back all broken. And my brother was like:
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ใŒๅฝผใฎ้“ๅ…ทใ‚’ๅ€Ÿใ‚ŠใฆๆŒใกๅธฐใฃใŸไป•ไบ‹ใ‚’ใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ—ใŸ ๅฃŠใ‚ŒใŸใ€‚ ๅ…„ใฏ
08:35
"What the hell is this? What's happened to my tools?"
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ใ€Œใชใ‚“ใ ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ๏ผŸ ็งใฎ้“ๅ…ทใฏใฉใ†ใ—ใŸใฎ๏ผŸใ€ใจ่จ€ใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
08:39
But I think in that situation what happened
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ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ใใฎ ็Šถๆณใง่ตทใ“ใฃใŸใ“ใจ
08:41
is the person who broke the tools didn't like my brother, and wanted to, like... Wanted
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ใฏใ€ใƒ„ใƒผใƒซใ‚’ๅฃŠใ—ใŸไบบใŒ ็งใฎๅ…„ๅผŸใ‚’ๅฅฝใใงใฏใชใ‹ใฃใŸใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™..
08:48
to make him angry and wanted to, like, show him and that's why the tools came back broken.
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ๅฃŠใ‚ŒใŸใ€‚
08:53
So if you ever get in a situation where you're, like, confused by this person's behaviour-they
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ใ—ใŸใŒใฃใฆใ€ ใ“ใฎไบบใฎ่กŒๅ‹•ใซๆททไนฑใ™ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใช็Šถๆณใซ้™ฅใฃใŸๅ ดๅˆใ€
08:59
say one thing, but it doesn't really make sense-you might be dealing with a passive-aggressive situation.
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ใคใพใ‚Šใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏ1ใคใฎใ“ใจใ‚’่จ€ใ„ใพใ™ใŒใ€ใใ‚Œใฏๆœฌๅฝ“ใซๆ„ๅ‘ณใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“.ใ‚ใชใŸ ใฏๅ—ๅ‹•ๆ”ปๆ’ƒ็š„ใช็Šถๆณใซๅฏพๅ‡ฆใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™.
09:06
So now let's look at specific examples of language. Here's a situation. This could be
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ใใ‚Œใงใฏใ€่จ€่ชžใฎๅ…ทไฝ“็š„ใชไพ‹ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใฆใฟใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ† ใ€‚ ใ“ใ‚ŒใŒ็Šถๆณใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ
09:16
a parent talking to their teenage child: -"I want you home by 10pm. Okay?" -"Fine!"
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ใ€่ฆชใŒ 10 ไปฃใฎๅญไพ›ใซๆฌกใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซ่ฉฑใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใŒ ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ -"็ฝฐ้‡‘๏ผ"
09:26
Okay? So, passive aggression depends on the tone that somebody's using in their expression.
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ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ใคใพใ‚Šใ€ๅ—ๅ‹•็š„ใชๆ”ปๆ’ƒๆ€งใฏ ใ€่ชฐใ‹ใŒ่กจ็พใงไฝฟ็”จใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ๅฃ่ชฟใซไพๅญ˜ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
09:33
"Fine", it usually means: "Sure", "Okay", "Good", but if you say it like this: "Fine!"
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ใ€Œๅคงไธˆๅคซใ€ใฏ้€šๅธธใ€ใ€Œ็ขบใ‹ใซใ€ใ€ใ€Œๅคงไธˆๅคซใ€ใ€ ใ€Œ่‰ฏใ„ใ€ใจใ„ใ†ๆ„ๅ‘ณใงใ™ใŒใ€ใ“ใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซ่จ€ใ†ใจใ€ใ€Œๅคงไธˆๅคซใงใ™๏ผใ€
09:42
obviously it's not. And why it might happen in this situation is because the teenager
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ๆ˜Žใ‚‰ใ‹ใซใใ†ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใใ—ใฆใ€ใชใœใ“ใฎ็Šถๆณใงใใ‚ŒใŒ่ตทใ“ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹ใจใ„ใ†ใจ ใ€10ไปฃใฎ่‹ฅ่€…
09:51
doesn't really feel they've got a choice. If the teenager had a choice they wouldn't
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ใŒ่‡ชๅˆ†ใซ้ธๆŠž่‚ขใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใจๆœฌๅฝ“ใซๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ„ใชใ„ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™. 10 ไปฃใฎ่‹ฅ่€…ใซ้ธๆŠž่‚ขใŒใ‚ใ‚Œใฐใ€
09:57
be back at 10pm. So they feel like they can't really argue, so I just say: "Fine!"
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ๅˆๅพŒ 10 ๆ™‚ใซๆˆปใฃใฆใใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ๅฝผใ‚‰ ใฏๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ่ญฐ่ซ–ใงใใชใ„ใจๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ€็งใฏใŸใ ใ€Œใ„ใ„ใ‚ˆ๏ผใ€ใจ่จ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
10:04
Moving on. This situation would be if you've... I've been in this situation, you have a job
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ๅ…ˆใซ้€ฒใฟใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ“ใฎ็Šถๆณใฏใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ... ็งใŒใ“ใฎ็Šถๆณใซใ‚ใฃใŸๅ ดๅˆใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏไป•ไบ‹ใ‚’ใ—ใฆใŠใ‚Šใ€
10:12
and what happened to me, it was about quarter to... Quarter to 6:00 on a Friday afternoon,
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็งใซไฝ•ใŒ่ตทใ“ใฃใŸใฎใ‹ใ€ใใ‚Œใฏ็ด„ๅ››ๅŠๆœŸ
10:22
and bear in mind this wasn't a proper job, this was some kind of intern job. Right? Not
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ใ‹ใ‚‰... ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ้ฉๅˆ‡ใชไป•ไบ‹ใงใฏใชใใ€ ใ‚ใ‚‹็จฎใฎใ‚คใƒณใ‚ฟใƒผใƒณใฎไป•ไบ‹ใงใ—ใŸใ€‚ ๅณ๏ผŸ
10:28
even a proper job. They came over to me and then they said at quarter to 6:00 on Friday:
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ใพใจใ‚‚ใชไป•ไบ‹ใงใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏ็งใฎใจใ“ใ‚ใซๆฅใฆ ใ€้‡‘ๆ›œๆ—ฅใฎๅ››ๅŠๆœŸใ‹ใ‚‰ 6 ๆ™‚ใพใงใซใ“ใ†่จ€ใ„ใพใ—ใŸ
10:34
"You'll work late and help the team, won't you? Everyone else is staying late. You'll
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ใ€‚
10:40
stay late and help the team, won't you?"
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ใใ†ใ—ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ‹๏ผŸใ€
10:43
So if you answer passive aggressively, you go:
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ใ—ใŸใŒใฃใฆใ€ๅ—ใ‘่บซใง ็ฉๆฅต็š„ใซ็ญ”ใˆใ‚‹ใจใ€
10:47
"Uh, mm, no problem, no problem."
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ใ€Œใˆใˆใจใ€ๅ•้กŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€ๅ•้กŒใ‚ใ‚Š ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€ใจใชใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
10:56
Because what you really want to say is:
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ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ่จ€ใ„ใŸใ„ใฎใฏ
10:59
"No, it's quarter to 6:00 on Friday. I'm going. I'm sorry. I'm just an intern.
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ใ€ใ€Œใ„ใ„ใˆใ€้‡‘ๆ›œๆ—ฅใฎ 1/4 ใ‹ใ‚‰ 6:00 ใงใ™ ใ€‚่กŒใใพใ™ใ€‚ใ”ใ‚ใ‚“ใชใ•ใ„ใ€‚็งใฏใŸใ ใฎใ‚คใƒณใ‚ฟใƒผใƒณใงใ™ใ€‚
11:05
You're not paying me for this."
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ็งใซใŠ้‡‘ใ‚’ๆ‰•ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ใ€
11:06
In fact, that's what I said. I didn't use the passive aggressive, I just said:
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ๅฎŸ้š›ใ€ใใ‚Œใฏ็งใŒ่จ€ใฃใŸใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚ ็งใฏ ใƒ‘ใƒƒใ‚ทใƒ–ใ‚ขใ‚ฐใƒฌใƒƒใ‚ทใƒ–ใ‚’ไฝฟใ„
11:11
"Sorry, no. Can't. It's too late. You should have asked me earlier. Sorry. Not staying."
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ใพใ›ใ‚“ใงใ—ใŸใ€‚
11:17
But imagine if you're in that situation, like you're an intern or something and the whole
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ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒใ‚คใƒณใ‚ฟใƒผใƒณใ‹ไฝ•ใ‹ใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใช็Šถๆณใซ
11:22
reason you're there is, you know, you want them to give you a job, and you want to impress,
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ใ‚ใ‚Šใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒใใ“ใซใ„ใ‚‹ใ™ในใฆใฎ็†็”ฑใฏใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ ใซไป•ไบ‹ใ‚’ไธŽใˆใฆใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใ„ใŸใ„ใ€ๆ„Ÿ้Š˜ใ‚’ไธŽใˆใŸใ„ใ€ใใ—ใฆใ‚ใชใŸใŒใ—
11:27
and you want to look keen - most people would probably just say: "Okay, okay", but they
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ใŸใ„ใ“ใจใ ใจๆƒณๅƒใ—ใฆใฟใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ็†ฑๅฟƒใซ่ฆ‹ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„-ใปใจใ‚“ใฉใฎไบบใฏ ใŠใใ‚‰ใใ€Œใ‚ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸใ€ใ‚ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใŒใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰
11:35
don't really mean it. Secretly inside they're like: "I want to get out of here. It's Friday."
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ใฏๆœฌๅฝ“ใซใใ‚Œใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ™ใ‚‹ใ‚ใ‘ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“. ๅฟƒใฎไธญใงใ“ใฃใใ‚Š ใ€Œใ“ใ“ใ‹ใ‚‰ๅ‡บใŸใ„ใ€‚้‡‘ๆ›œๆ—ฅใ ใ€ใฃใฆใ€‚
11:41
Next is, this could be... This could be a friend, this could be someone you're in a
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ๆฌกใฏใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ... ๅ‹้”ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ—ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’ๆŒใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ไบบใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“
11:49
relationship with. One says: "Oh, I don't feel like going out tonight." And the other one says:
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ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‚‹ไบบใฏใ€ใ€Œใ‚ใ‚ใ€ไปŠๅคœใฏๅค–ๅ‡บใ—ใŸใใชใ„ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ„ใพใ™ ใ€‚ ใใ—ใฆใ‚‚ใ†ไธ€ไบบใฏ
11:57
"Suit yourself", and off they go out. "Suit yourself" means... Well, in this
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ใ€Œ่‡ชๅˆ†ใซๅˆใ‚ใ›ใฆใ€ใจ่จ€ใ„ใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏๅ‡บใ‹ใ‘ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ€Œ่‡ชๅˆ†ใซๅˆใ†ใ€ใจใ„ใ†ใฎใฏโ€ฆ ใ“ใฎ
12:04
context it means: "Well, I'm still going out." When you suit yourself it's like please yourself.
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ๆ–‡่„ˆใงใฏใ€ใ€Œใพใ‚ใ€ใพใ ๅ‡บใ‹ใ‘ใ‚‹ใคใ‚‚ใ‚Šใ ใ€ใจใ„ใ†ๆ„ๅ‘ณใงใ™ใ€‚ ่‡ชๅˆ†ใซๅˆใ†ใจใใฏใ€่‡ชๅˆ†ใ‚’ๅ–œใฐใ›ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใชใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™ใ€‚
12:12
Probably what this person wanted: "I don't feel like going out tonight", this person
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ใŠใใ‚‰ใใ€ใ“ใฎไบบใŒๆœ›ใ‚“ใงใ„ใŸใฎใฏใ€ใ€ŒไปŠๅคœใฏๅ‡บใ‹ใ‘ใŸใใชใ„ใ€ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใง ใ€ใ“ใฎไบบใฏ
12:18
probably wanted the other person to say:
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ใŠใใ‚‰ใใ€ ไป–ใฎไบบใซ
12:21
"Oh, you don't want to go out tonight? Oh, I don't want to go out either.
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ใ€ŒไปŠๅคœใฏๅ‡บใ‹ใ‘ใŸใใชใ„ใฎ๏ผŸ ่กŒใใŸใใชใ„ใฎ๏ผŸ ใ€
12:26
Let's stay in together and watch a film",
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ไธ€็ท’ใซๆณŠใพใฃ ใฆๆ˜ ็”ปใ‚’่ฆ‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใ€ใจ
12:28
but it didn't really work to be indirect.
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่จ€ใ„ ใพใ—ใŸใŒใ€้–“ๆŽฅ็š„ใซใฏใ‚ใพใ‚Šใ†ใพใใ„ใใพใ›ใ‚“ใงใ—ใŸใ€‚
12:33
Next example is imagine you... This seems like something a mom would... A mom would
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ๆฌกใฎไพ‹ใฏใ‚ใชใŸใ‚’ๆƒณๅƒใ—ใฆใฟใฆใใ ใ•ใ„... ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ ใŠๆฏใ•ใ‚“ใŒใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซๆ€ใˆใพใ™... ใŠๆฏใ•ใ‚“ใฏ
12:44
say. Ask... Ask some... Ask the teenage kids to do the dishes: "Can you do the dishes?"
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่จ€ใ†ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†. ่žใ„ใฆ... ใ„ใใคใ‹่žใ„ใฆ... 10 ไปฃใฎ ๅญไพ›ใŸใกใซ็šฟๆด—ใ„ใ‚’ใ—ใฆใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
12:51
And she waits about 30 seconds, and then she says: "Don't worry, I'll do it myself!" Or
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ๅฝผๅฅณใฏ็ด„ 30 ็ง’ๅพ…ใฃใฆใ‹ใ‚‰ ใ€ใ€Œๅฟƒ้…ใ—ใชใ„ใงใ€่‡ชๅˆ†ใงใ‚„ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ‚ˆ!ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใพใŸใฏ
12:57
she says: "Do I have to do everything myself?"
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ๅฝผๅฅณใฏ่จ€ใ†๏ผšใ€Œ็งใฏ่‡ชๅˆ†ใงใ™ในใฆใ‚’ใ—ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐ ใชใ‚‰ใชใ„ใฎใงใ™ใ‹๏ผŸใ€
13:03
And then she ends up doing the dishes, and
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ๅฝผๅฅณ ใฏ็šฟๆด—ใ„ใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใซใชใ‚Šใ€
13:06
she's like... She's angry. More examples coming up.
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ๅฝผๅฅณใฏโ€ฆๅฝผๅฅณใฏๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚ˆใ‚Šๅคšใใฎไพ‹ใŒ็™ปๅ ดใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
13:10
Next we've got an example of... This could be you've had an argument with your boyfriend,
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ๆฌกใซไพ‹ใ‚’็คบใ—ใพใ™... ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒใƒœใƒผใ‚คใƒ•ใƒฌใƒณใƒ‰ใจๅฃ่ซ–ใซ
13:17
and he says to you: "I'm really sorry. Promise I'll make it up to you." But you're still
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ใชใ‚Šใ€ๅฝผใŒใ‚ใชใŸใซใ“ใ† ่จ€ใฃใŸๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใพใ 
13:23
angry and you don't believe him. He's done it again, or he's a liar. But you say:
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ๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใฆใ€ๅฝผใ‚’ไฟกใ˜ใฆใ„ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ๅฝผใฏใพใŸ ใใ‚Œใ‚’ใ‚„ใฃใŸใ€ใพใŸใฏๅฝผใฏๅ˜˜ใคใใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ่จ€ใ†๏ผš
13:31
"If you say so".
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ใ€Œใ‚ใชใŸใŒใใ†่จ€ใ†ใชใ‚‰ใ€ใ€‚
13:34
"If you say so" in this context means: You say that, but I don't really believe it. It means something like:
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ใ“ใฎๆ–‡่„ˆใงใฎใ€ŒIf you say soใ€ใฎๆ„ๅ‘ณใฏใ€ใ€Œใ‚ใชใŸใฏใใ†ใŠใฃใ—ใ‚ƒใ„ใพใ™ใŒใ€ ็งใฏๆœฌๅฝ“ใซไฟกใ˜ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€ใจใ„ใ†ๆ„ๅ‘ณใงใ™ใ€‚ ใใ‚Œใฏๆฌกใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใชๆ„ๅ‘ณใงใ™:
13:47
We'll see in the future that's not true. If you weren't
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ๅฐ†ๆฅใ€ใใ‚ŒใŒ็œŸๅฎŸใงใฏใชใ„ใ“ใจใŒใ‚ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ™.
13:53
being passive aggressive in that situation, you would say something like:
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ใใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใช็Šถๆณใงๅ—ใ‘่บซใงๆ”ปๆ’ƒ็š„ใงใชใ„ๅ ดๅˆใฏ ใ€ๆฌกใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซ
14:00
"I'm still really angry with you, and at the moment I don't believe what you're saying." That way you
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่จ€ใ†ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚ ใใ†ใ™ใ‚Œใฐใ€ใ€Œใใ†่จ€ใˆใฐใ€
14:07
express what you feel inside, rather than like: "If you say so." It's just... It's like
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ใจใ„ใ†ใ‚ˆใ‚Šใ‚‚ใ€่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎไธญใงๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’่กจ็พใงใใพใ™ ใ€‚ ใŸใ โ€ฆ
14:13
holding on to your simmering anger and keeping it inside.
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็…ฎใˆใŸใŽใ‚‹ ๆ€’ใ‚Šใ‚’ๆŠฑใˆ่พผใ‚“ใงใ„ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใชใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™ใ€‚
14:18
Next we've got... You say to someone: "What do you think of my new shoes?" And they say:
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ๆฌกใฏ... ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ่ชฐใ‹ใซใ€Œ ็งใฎๆ–ฐใ—ใ„้ดใซใคใ„ใฆใฉใ†ๆ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ‹?ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใใ—ใฆๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏ่จ€ใ†๏ผš
14:26
"Mm, green's not really my colour. Each to his own". "Each to his own"... Oh:
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ใ€Œใ†ใƒผใ‚“ใ€็ท‘ใฏๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ็งใฎ่‰ฒใ˜ใ‚ƒใชใ„ใ€‚ใใ‚Œใžใ‚Œใฎ่‰ฒใ  ใ€. ใ€Œใใ‚Œใžใ‚Œใซใ€...ใ‚ใ‚๏ผš
14:33
"Each to his own, though". When you say: "Each to his own", that means I don't... I don't agree
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ใ€Œใใ‚Œใžใ‚Œใซใ€ใ€‚ ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ่จ€ใ†ใจใ: ใ€Œใใ‚Œใžใ‚Œ ใŒ่‡ชๅˆ†่‡ช่บซใซใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใจใใ€ใใ‚Œใฏ็งใŒใใ†ใงใฏใชใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ—ใพใ™... ็งใฏ
14:42
with you... When one person thinks one thing, I think something else, so you can say:
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ใ‚ใชใŸใซๅŒๆ„ใ—ใพใ›ใ‚“.
14:50
"Each to his own. It's not... It's not what I would wear. It's not my taste. Each to his own."
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้•ใ†โ€ฆ ใใ‚Œใฏ็ง ใŒ็€ใ‚‹ใ‚‚ใฎใงใฏใชใ„. ใใ‚Œใฏ็งใฎๅฅฝใฟใงใฏใชใ„. ใใ‚Œใžใ‚ŒใŒๅฝผ่‡ช่บซใฎใ‚‚ใฎ.
14:57
Now, obviously, it wouldn't be very polite to say something like that if someone is seeking
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ใ•ใฆใ€ๆ˜Žใ‚‰ใ‹ใซใ€ ่ชฐใ‹ใŒ่ค’ใ‚่จ€่‘‰ใ‚’ๆฑ‚ใ‚ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใ€ใใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใชใ“ใจใ‚’่จ€ใ†ใฎใฏใ‚ใพใ‚Š็คผๅ„€ๆญฃใ—ใใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“
15:03
a compliment. "What do you think of my new shoes?"
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. ใ€Œ ็งใฎๆ–ฐใ—ใ„้ดใฉใ†ๆ€ใ†๏ผŸใ€
15:06
But it's this kind of language here.
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ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ ใ“ใ“ใงใฏใ“ใฎ็จฎใฎ่จ€่ชžใงใ™ใ€‚
15:10
Actually all these examples here are similar. "If you say so", "Each to his own", and the
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ๅฎŸ้š›ใ€ใ“ใ“ใซใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎไพ‹ใฏใ™ในใฆไผผใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ€Œใใ†่จ€ใˆใฐใ€ใจใ‹ใ€Œใใ‚Œใžใ‚Œใซใ€ใจใ‹ใ€
15:17
next one here, they're similar because the statements themselves don't have so much meaning
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ใ“ใ“ใฎๆฌกใ‚‚ไผผใฆใพใ™ใ‚ˆใญใ€ ็™บ่จ€่‡ชไฝ“ใฏ
15:26
in terms of the words, but they're just a way of replying to show that you don't really
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่จ€่‘‰็š„ใซใฏใ‚ใพใ‚Šๆ„ๅ‘ณใฏใชใ„ใ‚“ใงใ™ใ‘ใฉใ€ใŸใ ใฎ่ฟ”ไบ‹ใฎไป•ๆ–นใงใ™ใ‚ˆใญ ็›ธๆ‰‹ใฎ่จ€ใฃใŸใ“ใจใซ ใ‚ใพใ‚ŠๅŒๆ„ใ—ใชใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’็คบใ™ใŸใ‚ใงใ™
15:34
agree that much with what the other person said.
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ใ€‚
15:38
So the next example: "I'm not a fan of metal. I'm not a fan of metal. I'm not going to come.
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ๆฌกใฎไพ‹๏ผšใ€Œ็งใฏใƒกใ‚ฟใƒซ ใฎใƒ•ใ‚กใƒณใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
15:46
I'm not a fan of metal. I'm not going to come." This could be talking about going out to listen
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็งใฏใƒกใ‚ฟใƒซใฎใƒ•ใ‚กใƒณใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ๆฅใ‚‹ใคใ‚‚ใ‚Šใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚็งใฏใƒกใ‚ฟใƒซใฎใƒ•ใ‚กใƒณใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ๆฅใ‚‹ใคใ‚‚ใ‚Šใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ใ€ ใ“ใ‚Œใฏไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’่ดใใซ่กŒใใ“ใจใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“
15:53
to some... Listen to a band, and this is the way the person says I'm not coming:
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... ใƒใƒณใƒ‰ใ‚’่žใ„ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€ใใ—ใฆใ“ใ‚Œ ใฏ็งใŒๆฅใชใ„ใจใ„ใ†ไบบใฎ่จ€ใ„ๆ–นใงใ™:
15:58
"No, I'm not a fan of metal. I'm not going to come." And the other person who wants you to come,
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ใ€Œใ„ใ„ใˆใ€็งใฏใƒกใ‚ฟใƒซใฎใƒ•ใ‚กใƒณใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“.็งใฏ่กŒใใพใ›ใ‚“. ๆฅใ‚‹ใ€ ใใ—ใฆใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใซๆฅใฆใปใ—ใ„ใจๆ€ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ไป–ใฎไบบใฏใ€ใใ‚ŒใŒ
16:04
that's why they invited you, says: "Fair enough. Fair enough. Fair enough." Obviously it depends
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ใ‚ใชใŸใ‚’ๆ‹›ๅพ…ใ—ใŸ็†็”ฑใงใ™๏ผšใ€Œใพใ‚ใพใ‚ใ€ ใพใ‚ใพใ‚ใ€ใพใ‚ใพใ‚ใ€
16:11
on their kind of face that they use when they say it, because "Fair enough" is quite a widely-used
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ใ€Œใพใ‚ใพใ‚ใ€ใฏ้žๅธธใซๅบƒใไฝฟ็”จใ•ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใ‚‹่กจ็พใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใ€ๆ˜Žใ‚‰ใ‹ใซใใ‚Œใฏๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒใใ‚Œใ‚’่จ€ใ†ใจใใซไฝฟ็”จใ™ใ‚‹้ก”ใฎ็จฎ้กžใซไพๅญ˜ใ—
16:20
expression. And most people tend to think of it has... Think of it as having a positive...
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ใพใ™. ใใ—ใฆใ€ใปใจใ‚“ใฉใฎไบบ ใฏใใ‚ŒใŒ... ่‚ฏๅฎš็š„ใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใจ่€ƒใˆใ‚‹ๅ‚พๅ‘ใŒ
16:31
A positive kind of meaning in the sense that if you say: "Fair enough", it means: "Well,
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ใ‚ใ‚Š ใพใ™... ใ€Œใพใ‚ใพใ‚ใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃใŸๅ ดๅˆใ€ใใ‚Œใฏใ€Œใพใ‚ใ€
16:37
you think that and you do that, that's cool with me." But actually how I've observed most
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใใ‚Œใ‚’่€ƒใˆใฆใ€ ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใใ‚Œใ‚’ใ—ใพใ™ใ€ใใ‚Œ ใฏ็งใซใจใฃใฆใ‚ฏใƒผใƒซใงใ™ใ€‚ใ€ ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ๅฎŸ้š›ใซใฏใ€ใปใจใ‚“ใฉใฎ
16:44
people using it is like it means the opposite. You think something different. Oh, I would
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ไบบใŒใใ‚Œใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‚’่ฆณๅฏŸใ—ใŸใจใ“ใ‚ใ€ใใ‚Œใฏๅๅฏพใฎใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใงใ™. ใ‚ใชใŸใฏไฝ•ใ‹้•ใ†ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‚ใ€็งใฏ
16:50
want to change your mind about this, so I would want you to agree with me, but I can't
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ใ“ใ‚Œใซใคใ„ใฆใ‚ใชใŸใฎ่€ƒใˆใ‚’ๅค‰ใˆใŸใ„ใฎใง ใ€็งใซๅŒๆ„ใ—ใฆใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใ„ใŸใ„ใฎใงใ™ใŒใ€็งใฏใงใใชใ„
16:55
so I'll just say: "Fair enough."
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ใฎใงใ€ใ€Œใพใ‚ใพใ‚ใ€ใจใ ใ‘่จ€ใ„ใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
16:58
Next example, let's say somebody did... Did something and you know they did it, and you
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ๆฌกใฎไพ‹ใงใฏใ€่ชฐใ‹ใŒ ไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’ใ—ใŸใจใ—ใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†...ไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’ใ—ใฆใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒใใ‚Œใ‚’ใ—ใŸใ“ใจใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใฆใ€ใใ‚ŒใŒ
17:12
didn't like it, you could say: "Why did you do that? Why?" And they say:
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ๆฐ—ใซๅ…ฅใ‚‰ใชใ‹ใฃใŸๅ ดๅˆใ€ใ€Œใชใœ ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใใ‚Œใ‚’ใ—ใŸใฎใงใ™ใ‹?ใชใœใงใ™ใ‹?ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ ใใ—ใฆๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏ่จ€ใ†๏ผš
17:20
"I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about." But it's obvious they
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ใ€Œ็งใฏใ‚ใชใŸใŒไฝ•ใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹ๅˆ†ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ใ‚ใชใŸใŒไฝ•ใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹ใ‚ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ ใ€‚ใ€ ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒ
17:27
do. This is a way of saying: "I don't want to talk about it. Dismiss, dismiss. Not...
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ใใ†ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏๆ˜Žใ‚‰ใ‹ใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ่จ€ใ„ๆ–นใงใ™๏ผšใ€Œ็งใฏใใ‚Œใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ—ใŸใใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ ใ€‚ๅดไธ‹ใ€ๅดไธ‹ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ใ„ใ‚„ใ€ใใ‚Œ
17:32
Not going to talk about it." So actually they do know what you're talking about, but can't admit it.
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ใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ™ใคใ‚‚ใ‚Šใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ใ€ ๅฎŸ้š›ใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏ ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ่ฉฑใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใŒใ€ใใ‚Œใ‚’่ชใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏใงใใพใ›ใ‚“.
17:40
Next example, this could be a teenager wants to go out somewhere:
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ๆฌกใฎไพ‹ใฏใ€ 10 ไปฃใฎ่‹ฅ่€…ใŒใฉใ“ใ‹ใซๅ‡บใ‹ใ‘ใŸใ„ใจ่€ƒใˆใฆ
17:46
-"You can't go because you haven't finished your homework." -"Whatever! Whatever!"
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ใ„ใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใงใ™ใ€‚ใ€Œๅฎฟ้กŒใŒ็ต‚ใ‚ใฃใฆใ„ใชใ„ใฎใงใ€่กŒใ‘ใพใ›ใ‚“ ใ€‚ใ€ -ใ€Œไฝ•ใงใ‚‚๏ผไฝ•ใงใ‚‚๏ผใ€
17:53
Next example: -"What do you want to do tonight? What do you want to do tonight?"
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ๆฌกใฎไพ‹: -ใ€Œ ไปŠๅคœไฝ•ใ‚’ใ—ใŸใ„ใงใ™ใ‹? ไปŠๅคœไฝ•ใ‚’ใ—ใŸใ„ใงใ™ใ‹?ใ€
17:59
-"I don't mind. I don't mind." -"Okay, let's watch football."
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-ใ€Œใ‹ใพใ„ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ใ‹ใพใ„ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ใ€ -ใ€Œใ•ใฆใ€ใ‚ตใƒƒใ‚ซใƒผใ‚’่ฆ‹ใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚ใ€
18:07
Girlfriend's not happy. She said she didn't mind, but she did really.
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ๅฝผๅฅณใฏๅนธใ›ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ๅฝผๅฅณใฏๆฐ—ใซใ—ใชใ„ใจ่จ€ใฃใŸใŒใ€ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซๆฐ—ใซใ—ใŸ.
18:14
She just wanted you to say: "Okay, let's go and... Let's go
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ๅฝผๅฅณใฏใŸใ ใ‚ใชใŸใซ ใ€Œใ•ใ‚่กŒใ“ใ†...
18:20
and eat pizza in the nice restaurant", or she wanted to watch the film she wanted to
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็ด ๆ•ตใชใƒฌใ‚นใƒˆใƒฉใƒณใงใƒ”ใ‚ถใ‚’้ฃŸในใซ่กŒใ“ใ†ใ€ใจ ่จ€ใฃใฆใปใ—ใ‹ใฃใŸใ€ใพใŸใฏๅฝผๅฅณใŒ่ฆ‹ใŸใ„ๆ˜ ็”ปใ‚’่ฆ‹ใŸใ‹ใฃใŸใฎใซ
18:25
watch, but she didn't say that, so he decided... Oops, this is not a new one. So he decided,
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ใ€ๅฝผๅฅณใฏใใ‚Œใ‚’่จ€ใ‚ใชใ‹ใฃใŸใฎใงใ€ๅฝผใฏๆฑบใ‚ใŸ. ... ใŠใฃใจใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใฏๆ–ฐใ—ใ„ใ‚‚ใฎใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใใ‚Œใงๅฝผใฏๆฑบใ‚
18:33
and so she just sulks all night. She's not happy.
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ใŸใฎใงใ€ๅฝผๅฅณใฏไธ€ๆ™ฉไธญไธๆฉŸๅซŒใซใชใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ ๅฝผๅฅณใฏๅนธใ›ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
18:40
Last example here... The number is in the wrong place again, the number should be here.
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ๆœ€ๅพŒใฎไพ‹ใฏใ“ใกใ‚‰... ็•ชๅทใŒใพใŸ ้–“้•ใฃใŸๅ ดๆ‰€ใซใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚็•ชๅทใฏใ“ใ“ใซใ‚ใ‚‹ใฏใšใงใ™ใ€‚
18:46
Mom walks around the house, crashing, banging pots in the kitchen-bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang-dad says:
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ใƒžใƒžใฏๅฎถใฎไธญใ‚’ๆญฉใๅ›žใ‚Šใ€ใ‚ญใƒƒใƒใƒณใง้‹ใ‚’ใถใคใ‘ใŸใ‚Šใ€ใŸใŸใ„ใŸใ‚Š ใ€ใƒใƒณใ€ใƒใƒณใ€ใƒใƒณใ€ใƒใƒณใ€ใƒใƒณใ€ใƒ‘ใƒ‘ใฏ
18:55
"What's wrong?" She says: "Nothing. I'm good."
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ใ€Œใฉใ†ใ—ใŸใฎ๏ผŸใ€ใจ่จ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ๅฝผๅฅณใฏ่จ€ใ„ใพใ™๏ผšใ€Œไฝ•ใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ็งใฏๅ…ƒๆฐ—ใงใ™ใ€‚ใ€
19:03
More examples coming up.
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ใ‚ˆใ‚Šๅคšใใฎไพ‹ใŒ็™ปๅ ดใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
19:05
Okay, let's look at: "You look really fat in that dress... Only joking."
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ใ•ใฆใ€่ฆ‹ใฆใฟใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†๏ผšใ€Œ ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใใฎใƒ‰ใƒฌใ‚นใงๆœฌๅฝ“ใซๅคชใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซ่ฆ‹ใˆใพใ™...ๅ†—่ซ‡ใงใ™.ใ€
19:12
Has anyone ever said that to you before? Say something really rude, and then go:
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ไปŠใพใง่ชฐใ‹ใซใใ†่จ€ใ‚ใ‚ŒใŸใ“ใจใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซๅคฑ็คผใชใ“ใจใ‚’
19:18
"Only joking"? Someone once said to me:
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่จ€ใฃใฆใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€ใ€Œๅ†—่ซ‡ใ ใ‘ใ€ใซ่กŒใใพใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ ใ‚ใ‚‹ไบบใŒ็ง ใซใ“ใ†่จ€ใ„ใพใ—ใŸ๏ผš
19:22
"Let's play a game where we get really up close to somebody's face
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ใ€Œ ่ชฐใ‹ใฎ้ก”ใซ่ฟ‘ใฅใใ€
19:25
and say something horrible, like: 'Jade, I really hate you.' Only joking." They're not joking.
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ไฝ•ใ‹ๆใ‚ใ—ใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’่จ€ใ†ใ‚ˆใ†ใชใ‚ฒใƒผใƒ ใ‚’ใ—ใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†๏ผšใ€Žใ‚ธใ‚งใ‚คใƒ‰ใ€็งใฏ ใ‚ใชใŸใŒๆœฌๅฝ“ใซๅซŒใ„ใงใ™ใ€. ๅ†—่ซ‡ใ ใ‘ใงใ™ใ€‚ใ€ ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏๅ†—่ซ‡ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
19:35
Next one: "Not being rude... Not being rude... Not being rude, but do you even lift, bro?"
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ๆฌกใฎใ‚‚ใฎ๏ผšใ€Œๅคฑ็คผใงใฏใชใ„... ๅคฑ็คผใงใฏใชใ„... ๅคฑ็คผใงใฏใชใ„ใ€ใงใ‚‚ใ‚ใชใŸใฏๆŒใกไธŠใ’ใพใ™ใ‹๏ผŸใ€
19:43
If someone says: "Not being rude", they most likely are being rude. And just to make sense
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่ชฐใ‹ใŒใ€Œๅคฑ็คผใงใฏใชใ„ใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃใŸๅ ดๅˆใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ ใฏๅคฑ็คผใงใ‚ใ‚‹ๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใŒๆœ€ใ‚‚้ซ˜ใ„. ใใ—ใฆ
19:54
of what it means, if someone says: "Do you even lift, bro?"
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ใ€ใใ‚ŒใŒไฝ•ใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹ใ‚’็†่งฃใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซ ใ€่ชฐใ‹ใŒใ€Œใ‚ใชใŸใฏๆŒใกไธŠใ’ใพใ™ใ‹๏ผŸใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃใŸๅ ดๅˆใ€‚
19:59
This would... You would say that to someone who looks like they don't know anything about training, or they don't
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ใ“ใ‚Œใฏโ€ฆ ใƒˆใƒฌใƒผใƒ‹ใƒณใ‚ฐใซใคใ„ใฆไฝ•ใ‚‚็Ÿฅใ‚‰ใชใ„
20:04
know how to workout, or something like that. They don't... They don't look built and they
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ใ€ใพใŸใฏใƒˆใƒฌใƒผใƒ‹ใƒณใ‚ฐใฎๆ–นๆณ•ใ‚’็Ÿฅใ‚‰ใชใ„ใ‚ˆใ†ใซ่ฆ‹ใˆใ‚‹ไบบใซใ€ใพใŸใฏใใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใชใ“ใจใ‚’่จ€ใ†ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†. ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏใใ†ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“...ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏไฝ“ๆ ผใŒๆ‚ชใ
20:08
don't look like they've done a lot of exercise. So you say: "Not being rude, but do you even lift, bro?"
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ใ€ๅคšใใฎ้‹ๅ‹•ใ‚’ใ—ใŸใ‚ˆใ†ใซใฏ่ฆ‹ใˆใพใ›ใ‚“. ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ ่จ€ใ†๏ผšใ€Œๅคฑ็คผใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏๆŒใกไธŠใ’ใพใ™ใ‹๏ผŸใ€
20:15
That's the way of saying: "You don't look like you know anything about this."
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ใใ‚Œใฏใ€ใ€Œใ‚ใชใŸใฏ ใ“ใ‚Œใซใคใ„ใฆไฝ•ใ‚‚็Ÿฅใ‚‰ใชใ„ใ‚ˆใ†ใซ่ฆ‹ใˆใพใ™ใ€ใจใ„ใ†่จ€ใ„ๆ–นใงใ™ใ€‚
20:20
Next example, it's almost the same: "Not being funny, but you should wear more makeup in your videos."
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ๆฌกใฎไพ‹ใฏใ€ ใปใผๅŒใ˜ใงใ™ใ€‚
20:27
You might see this in the comments section.
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ใ“ใ‚Œใฏใ‚ณใƒกใƒณใƒˆๆฌ„ใง่ฆ‹ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ ใ€‚
20:30
"Just giving you some advice that you need. Not being funny, but you should wear more makeup in your videos."
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ใ€Œๅฟ…่ฆใชใ‚ขใƒ‰ใƒใ‚คใ‚นใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ใ ใ‘ใงใ™ใ€‚ๅ†—่ซ‡ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒ ใ€ใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใงใฏใ‚‚ใฃใจๅŒ–็ฒงใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ในใใงใ™ใ€‚ใ€
20:37
Another example: "I don't mean to be mean, but you should pluck that hair out of your nose.
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ๅˆฅใฎไพ‹: ใ€Œๆ„ๅœฐๆ‚ชใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ใคใ‚‚ใ‚Šใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ ใŒใ€้ผปใ‹ใ‚‰้ซชใฎๆฏ›ใ‚’ๆŠœใ„ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ๆณจๆ„
20:47
Just giving you a heads up. Just helping you out, here."
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ใ‚’ๅ–š่ตทใ™ใ‚‹ใ ใ‘ใงใ™ใ€‚ ๅŠฉใ‘ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ใ€
20:50
This is actually a real example
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ใ“ใ‚Œใฏใ€็งใฎ้ก”ใฎใ‹ใชใ‚Š่ฟ‘ใใงๆ’ฎๅฝฑใ•ใ‚Œ
20:53
that I got in my comments because I have a video that's filmed quite close to my face.
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ใŸใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใ‚’ๆŒใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใ€ๅฎŸ้š›ใซ็งใฎใ‚ณใƒกใƒณใƒˆใงๅพ—ใŸๅฎŸ้š›ใฎไพ‹ใงใ™ ใ€‚
20:59
There's thousands of comments on that video, and no one mentioned that there is a hair
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ใใฎๅ‹•็”ปใซใฏไฝ•ๅƒใ‚‚ใฎใ‚ณใƒกใƒณใƒˆใŒๅฏ„ใ› ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใพใ™ใŒใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใพใงๆฏ›ใŒ็”Ÿใˆใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใฏ่ชฐใ‚‚่จ€ใ„ใพใ›ใ‚“ใงใ—
21:03
there before. I didn't check. I didn't want to know if there really was one there, but
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ใŸใ€‚ ็งใฏใƒใ‚งใƒƒใ‚ฏใ—ใพใ›ใ‚“ใงใ—ใŸใ€‚ ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซใใ“ใซใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹็Ÿฅใ‚ŠใŸใใชใ‹ใฃใŸใฎใงใ™ใŒใ€
21:08
anyway they're just helping me out.
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ใจใซใ‹ใๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏ ็งใ‚’ๅŠฉใ‘ใฆใใ‚Œใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ ใ‘ใงใ™.
21:11
"Don't mean to be mean, just so you know you should pluck that hair right out."
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ใ€Œๆ„ๅœฐๆ‚ชใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ใคใ‚‚ใ‚Šใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ใใฎ้ซชใ‚’ใ™ใใซๆŠœใๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ ใ‘ใงใ™ ใ€‚ใ€
21:17
Next example, someone again might say in the comments section:
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ๆฌกใฎไพ‹ใงใฏใ€่ชฐใ‹ ใŒใ‚ณใƒกใƒณใƒˆ ใ‚ปใ‚ฏใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใงๆฌกใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซ
21:23
"No offence... No offence, but you're not a good English teacher. No offence, don't take it the wrong way."
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่จ€ใ†ใ‹ใ‚‚ ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
21:32
Next example: "I hope you don't mind me saying, but that hair colour doesn't suit you." Another
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ๆฌกใฎไพ‹๏ผšใ€Œ็งใŒ่จ€ใฃใฆใ‚‚ๆง‹ใ‚ใชใ„ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™ใŒใ€ ใใฎ้ซชใฎ่‰ฒใฏใ‚ใชใŸใซไผผใฆใ„ใพใ›ใ‚“.ใ€ ๅˆฅใฎ
21:39
real-life example. I was in one of my videos... This is my hair colour, I've never actually
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ๅฎŸ้š›ใฎไพ‹ใ€‚ ็งใฏ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใฎ 1 ใคใซใ„ใพใ—ใŸ... ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ็งใฎ้ซชใฎ่‰ฒใงใ™ใ€‚
21:46
dyed it in any of the videos, but someone thought they'd be helping me out with some
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ใฉใฎใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใงใ‚‚ๅฎŸ้š›ใซๆŸ“ใ‚ใŸใ“ใจ ใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
21:51
advice by saying:
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21:53
"I hope you don't mind me saying, but that hair colour doesn't suit you."
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ใ„ใ„ใงใ™ใ‹ใ€ ใใฎ้ซชใฎ่‰ฒใฏใ‚ใชใŸใซไผผๅˆใ„ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ใ€
21:58
Well, I'll tell you what, Mother Nature must have got it wrong in that case.
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ใใ†ใงใ™ใญ ใ€ใใฎๅ ดๅˆใฏๆฏใชใ‚‹่‡ช็„ถใŒ้–“้•ใฃใฆใ„ใŸใซ้•ใ„ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
22:03
And the last example is... Always be very scared... Always be very scared when somebody says to you:
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ๆœ€ๅพŒใฎไพ‹ใฏ... ใ„ใคใ‚‚ใจใฆใ‚‚ๆ€–ใŒใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹... ่ชฐใ‹ใŒ
22:12
"Can I ask you a question?" Just say... Just say no. Don't let them. Someone
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ใ‚ใชใŸใซใ€Œ่ณชๅ•ใ—ใฆใ‚‚ใ„ใ„ใงใ™ใ‹?ใ€ ่จ€ใฃใฆใใ ใ•ใ„... ใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใฃใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ใใ‚Œใ‚‰ใ‚’่จฑๅฏใ—ใชใ„ใงใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ่ชฐใ‹ใŒ็งใซ
22:19
said this to me once: "Jade, can... Jade..." How was she speaking? She was German. I cannot...
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ใ“ใ†่จ€ใฃใŸใ“ใจใŒใ‚ใ‚Š ใพใ™ใ€‚ ๅฝผๅฅณใฏใƒ‰ใ‚คใƒ„ไบบใงใ—ใŸใ€‚ ็งใฏใงใใพใ›ใ‚“...
22:26
Sounding Indian at the moment. Anyways, she was German: "Jade, can I ask you a question?"
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็พๆ™‚็‚นใงใฏใ‚คใƒณใƒ‰ไบบใซ่žใ“ใˆใพใ™ใ€‚ ใจใซใ‹ใใ€ๅฝผๅฅณ ใฏใƒ‰ใ‚คใƒ„ไบบใงใ—ใŸ๏ผšใ€Œใ‚ธใ‚งใ‚คใƒ‰ใ€่ณชๅ•ใ—ใฆใ‚‚ใ„ใ„ใงใ™ใ‹๏ผŸใ€
22:30
Imagine a German person. "Jade, can I ask you a question?" I said: -"Yeah."
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ใƒ‰ใ‚คใƒ„ไบบใ‚’ๆƒณๅƒใ—ใฆใฟใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ใ€Œใ‚ธใ‚งใ‚คใƒ‰ใ€ไธ€ใค ่žใ„ใฆใ‚‚ใ„ใ„๏ผŸใ€ ็งใฏ่จ€ใฃใŸ๏ผš -ใ€Œใˆใˆใ€
22:36
-"Why do you always wear jeans two sizes too small for you?"
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-ใ€Œใชใœใ‚ใชใŸใฏใ„ใคใ‚‚ 2 ใ‚ตใ‚คใ‚บๅฐใ•ใ„ใ‚ธใƒผใƒณใ‚บใ‚’ๅฑฅใ„ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ™ใ‹?ใ€
22:41
She was saying I was too fat to be wearing whatever jeans I was wearing.
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ๅฝผๅฅณใฏใ€็งใŒๅคชใ‚Šใ™ใŽ ใฆใ€ใฉใ‚“ใชใ‚ธใƒผใƒณใ‚บใ‚’ๅฑฅใ„ใฆใ‚‚ๅฑฅใ‘ใชใ„ใจ่จ€ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
22:47
I looked down, and I was just like: "I didn't know that. I always do that. Oops."
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็งใฏไธ‹ใ‚’ ๅ‘ใ„ใฆใ€ใ€Œใใ‚Œใฏ็Ÿฅใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใงใ—ใŸใ€‚็งใฏใ„ใคใ‚‚ใใ†ใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ใŠใฃใจใ€‚ใ€
22:53
But anyways, she was just being: "Rownh, rownh." So, anyway,
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ใจใซใ‹ใใ€ๅฝผๅฅณใฏใŸใ  ใ“ใ†่จ€ใฃใŸ๏ผšใ€ŒRownhใ€rownhใ€ใ€‚ ใงใ™ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€
22:58
beware. Be especially aware if a German person says: "Can I ask you a question?" because you don't want to hear it.
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ใจใซใ‹ใๆฐ—ใ‚’ใคใ‘ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ใƒ‰ใ‚คใƒ„ไบบใŒใ€Œ่ณชๅ•ใ—ใฆใ‚‚ใ„ใ„ใงใ™ใ‹๏ผŸใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ๅ ดๅˆใฏ็‰นใซๆณจๆ„ใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ ใ€‚ ่žใใŸใใชใ„ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™ใ€‚
23:06
So, thank you for watching the video. The thing about passive aggression is in a way
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ใใ‚Œใงใฏใ€ๅ‹•็”ปใ‚’ใ”่ฆงใ„ใŸใ ใใ‚ใ‚ŠใŒใจใ†ใ”ใ–ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ๅ—ๅ‹•็š„ๆ”ปๆ’ƒใซใคใ„ใฆใฎใ“ใจใฏใ€ใ‚ใ‚‹ๆ„ๅ‘ณ
23:12
the... The title of it, "passive aggression" is wrong because sometimes the examples are
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ใง... ใ€Œๅ—ๅ‹•็š„ๆ”ปๆ’ƒใ€ใจใ„ใ†ใ‚ฟใ‚คใƒˆใƒซ ใฏ้–“้•ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ไพ‹ใŒ
23:23
so hidden they don't look like aggression and you have to think about it after. So we
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้žๅธธใซ้š ใ•ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใ€ๆ”ปๆ’ƒใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซใฏ่ฆ‹ใˆใš ใ€ๅพŒใง่€ƒใˆใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚‰ใชใ„ใ“ใจใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ใคใพใ‚Š
23:28
could think of it as kinds of manipulation or ways that we say things that we don't really
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ใ€ใใ‚Œใฏไธ€็จฎใฎๆ“ไฝœใ€ใพใŸใฏ ็งใŸใกใŒๆœฌๅฝ“ใซๆ„ๅ‘ณใ—ใฆใ„ใชใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’่จ€ใ†ๆ–นๆณ•ใจ่€ƒใˆใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™
23:35
mean. Anyways, so here have been lots of examples,
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. ใจใซใ‹ใใ€ใ“ใ“ใซ ใฏใŸใใ•ใ‚“ใฎไพ‹
23:39
and what you can do now is go and do the quiz on this lesson.
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ใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ไปŠใงใใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏ ใ€ใ“ใฎใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใงใ‚ฏใ‚คใ‚บใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ”่ฆง
23:43
Thanks for watching, and I'll see you again soon. Bye.
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ใ„ใŸใ ใใ‚ใ‚ŠใŒใจใ†ใ”ใ–ใ„ใพใ™ ใ€‚ใพใŸใŠไผšใ„ใ—ใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚ ใ•ใ‚ˆใชใ‚‰ใ€‚

Original video on YouTube.com
ใ“ใฎใ‚ฆใ‚งใƒ–ใ‚ตใ‚คใƒˆใซใคใ„ใฆ

ใ“ใฎใ‚ตใ‚คใƒˆใงใฏ่‹ฑ่ชžๅญฆ็ฟ’ใซๅฝน็ซ‹ใคYouTubeๅ‹•็”ปใ‚’็ดนไป‹ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ไธ–็•Œไธญใฎไธ€ๆต่ฌ›ๅธซใซใ‚ˆใ‚‹่‹ฑ่ชžใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใ‚’่ฆ‹ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ๅ„ใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใฎใƒšใƒผใ‚ธใซ่กจ็คบใ•ใ‚Œใ‚‹่‹ฑ่ชžๅญ—ๅน•ใ‚’ใƒ€ใƒ–ใƒซใ‚ฏใƒชใƒƒใ‚ฏใ™ใ‚‹ใจใ€ใใ“ใ‹ใ‚‰ใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใ‚’ๅ†็”Ÿใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ๅญ—ๅน•ใฏใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใฎๅ†็”ŸใจๅŒๆœŸใ—ใฆใ‚นใ‚ฏใƒญใƒผใƒซใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ใ”ๆ„่ฆ‹ใƒปใ”่ฆๆœ›ใŒใ”ใ–ใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ‚‰ใ€ใ“ใกใ‚‰ใฎใŠๅ•ใ„ๅˆใ‚ใ›ใƒ•ใ‚ฉใƒผใƒ ใ‚ˆใ‚Šใ”้€ฃ็ตกใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚

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