How to change a fight into a discussion

158,366 views ใƒป 2016-11-19

ENGLISH with James


ไธ‹ใฎ่‹ฑ่ชžๅญ—ๅน•ใ‚’ใƒ€ใƒ–ใƒซใ‚ฏใƒชใƒƒใ‚ฏใ™ใ‚‹ใจๅ‹•็”ปใ‚’ๅ†็”Ÿใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ ็ฟป่จณใ•ใ‚ŒใŸๅญ—ๅน•ใฏๆฉŸๆขฐ็ฟป่จณใงใ™ใ€‚

00:01
Why are you so angry all the time, E?
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Eใ€ใชใ‚“ใงใ„ใคใ‚‚ใใ‚“ใชใซๆ€’ใฃใฆใ‚‹ใฎ ๏ผŸ
00:02
You're like smash, relax.
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใ‚นใƒžใƒƒใ‚ทใƒฅใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใงใ™ใ€ใƒชใƒฉใƒƒใ‚ฏใ‚นใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
00:05
You're not the Incredible...
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใ‚คใƒณใ‚ฏใƒฌใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใƒ–ใƒซใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“...
00:06
Hi. James from engVid.
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ใ“ใ‚“ใซใกใฏใ€‚ engVid ใฎใ‚ธใ‚งใƒผใƒ ใ‚บใ€‚
00:09
E's turning green, and I know The Avengers are all over the planet, so I'm sure you know
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E ใŒ็ท‘่‰ฒใซๅค‰ใ‚ใ‚Šใ€ใ‚ขใƒ™ใƒณใ‚ธใƒฃใƒผใ‚บใŒ ไธ–็•Œไธญใซใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ€ใƒใƒซใ‚ฏใ‚นใƒžใƒƒใ‚ทใƒฅใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจ็ขบไฟกใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™
00:14
Hulk Smash.
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.
00:17
And the Incredible Hulk is powerful because he's angry, he's always angry.
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ใ‚คใƒณใ‚ฏใƒฌใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใƒ–ใƒซใƒปใƒใƒซใ‚ฏใฏ ๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใงๅผทๅŠ›ใงใ™ใ€‚ๅฝผใฏใ„ใคใ‚‚ๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
00:23
And the funny thing is I find most people are angry about this, angry about that.
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ใใ—ใฆ้ข็™ฝใ„ใฎใฏใ€ใปใจใ‚“ใฉใฎไบบ ใŒใ“ใ‚Œใซใคใ„ใฆใ€ใ‚ใ‚Œใซใคใ„ใฆๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚
00:29
So I want to help you today do a little better, because when people are fighting, well, they're
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ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰็งใฏไปŠๆ—ฅใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒๅฐ‘ใ—ใงใ‚‚ใ†ใพใใ‚„ใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซๆ‰‹ๅŠฉใ‘ใ—ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ„
00:35
fighting because they care.
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ใพใ™ใ€‚
00:36
If you didn't care, you wouldn't fight with anyone.
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ๆฐ—ใซใ—ใชใ‘ใ‚Œ ใฐ่ชฐใจใ‚‚ๆˆฆใ‚ใชใ„ใ€‚
00:39
And I have a two-part lesson...
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ใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณ
00:40
What I mean by two parts is I'm going to start off by giving you some expressions so you
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ใฏ 2 ้ƒจๆง‹ๆˆใงใ™... 2 ้ƒจๆง‹ๆˆใจใฏใ€ๆœ€ๅˆใซ ใ„ใใคใ‹ใฎ่กจ็พใ‚’ๆไพ›ใ™ใ‚‹
00:45
can kind of get rid of the fighting, and then I'm going to give you some vocabulary you
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ใ“ใจใ‹ใ‚‰ๅง‹ใ‚ ใพใ™ใ€‚
00:50
can use instead of saying:
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00:51
"I'm angry. I'm angry. I'm so angry."
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ใ€Œ็งใฏๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€‚็งใฏๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€‚ ็งใฏใจใฆใ‚‚ๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ไปฃใ‚ใ‚Šใซไฝฟใˆใ‚‹่ชžๅฝ™ใ‚’ใ„ใใคใ‹ใ€‚
00:54
There are other words that really let people know what you mean, and you can use some of
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็›ธๆ‰‹ใซ ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎ่จ€ใ„ใŸใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซไผใˆใ‚‹่จ€่‘‰ใฏไป–ใซใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
00:59
these words and the phrases I'm going to teach you, and you'll notice that your interactions
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ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎ่จ€่‘‰ใฎใ„ใใคใ‹ใจใ“ใ‚Œใ‹ใ‚‰ๆ•™ใˆใ‚‹ใƒ•ใƒฌใƒผใ‚บใ‚’ ไฝฟใ†ใจใ€
01:03
or the way you talk to each other will change and you'll probably be a lot happier, and
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ใŠไบ’ใ„ใฎใ‚„ใ‚Šๅ–ใ‚Šใ‚„่ฉฑใ—ๆ–นใŒๅค‰ใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใซๆฐ—ไป˜ใใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚ ใใ—ใฆใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใŠใใ‚‰ใใ‚‚ใฃใจๅนธใ›ใซใชใ‚Šใ€
01:08
not like E. E Smash, so angry, so angry. All right?
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E.E Smashใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซๆ€’ใฃใŸใ‚Šใ€ๆ€’ใฃใŸใ‚Šใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“. ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
01:13
So let's go to the board.
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ใใ‚Œใงใฏใ€ใƒœใƒผใƒ‰ใซ่กŒใใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
01:14
So what did I tell you here?
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ใใ‚Œใงใ€็งใฏใ“ใ“ใงใ‚ใชใŸใซไฝ•ใ‚’่ฉฑใ—ใพใ—ใŸใ‹๏ผŸ
01:16
Okay? I want us to stop the fighting.
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ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ๆˆฆใ„ใ‚’ๆญขใ‚ใฆใปใ—ใ„ใ€‚
01:18
And how are we going to do that?
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซใใ‚Œใ‚’่กŒใ†ใคใ‚‚ใ‚Šใงใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ
01:20
Well, the first thing we have to do is accept that...
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ใพใšใ€ใใ‚Œใ‚’ๅ—ใ‘ๅ…ฅใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ™...
01:24
Or accept that arguments and fighting are a part of life, and as I said, it's because
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ใพใŸใฏใ€ๅฃ่ซ–ใ‚„ๅ–งๅ˜ฉใฏ ไบบ็”Ÿใฎไธ€้ƒจใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจ
01:28
you care.
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ใ‚’ๅ—ใ‘ๅ…ฅใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚
01:29
You fight because something is important to you, or someone is fighting with you because
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏไฝ•ใ‹ใŒใ‚ใชใŸใซใจใฃใฆ้‡่ฆใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซๆˆฆใ†ใ‹ใ€่ชฐใ‹ใŒใ‚ใชใŸใซใจใฃใฆไฝ•ใ‹ใŒ้‡่ฆใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซ ใ‚ใชใŸใจๆˆฆใฃใฆใ„
01:33
something is important to them.
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ใพใ™ใ€‚
01:35
And when you don't take the time to understand it's important to them, that's what makes
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ใใ‚ŒใŒๅฝผใ‚‰ใซใจใฃใฆ้‡่ฆใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็†่งฃใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซๆ™‚้–“ใ‚’ๅ‰ฒใ‹ใชใ„ ใจใ€ใใ‚Œ
01:41
the fight worse.
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ใŒๆˆฆใ„ใ‚’ๆ‚ชๅŒ–ใ•ใ›ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ™. ใ€Œใญใˆใ€ใใ‚Œใฏๆฐ—ใซใชใ‚‹๏ผŸ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใ ใ‘
01:42
Half of the times things can be resolved or solved or fixed easily if you just go:
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ใงใ€ๅ•้กŒใฎๅŠๅˆ†ใฏ ็ฐกๅ˜ใซ่งฃๆฑบใพใŸใฏ่งฃๆฑบใพใŸใฏไฟฎๆญฃใงใใพใ™
01:48
"Hey, that bothers you? Got it."
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ใ€‚
01:52
Once most people hear that, they're willing to talk to you.
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ใปใจใ‚“ใฉใฎไบบใฏใใ‚Œใ‚’่žใใจใ€ ๅ–œใ‚“ใงใ‚ใชใŸใซ่ฉฑใ—ใ‹ใ‘ใพใ™ใ€‚
01:55
But if they don't think they're being heard, they smash, they hit hard.
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ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒ่žใ“ใˆใฆใ„ใชใ„ใจๆ€ใ†ใชใ‚‰ ใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏๆฟ€ใ—ใใถใคใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
02:00
So let's go to the board.
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ใใ‚Œใงใฏใ€ใƒœใƒผใƒ‰ใซ่กŒใใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
02:02
Okay, so I'm going to give you two types of phrases.
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ใงใฏใ€ 2 ็จฎ้กžใฎใƒ•ใƒฌใƒผใ‚บใ‚’็ดนไป‹ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
02:05
Okay?
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ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
02:06
These will help you...
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ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฏใ‚ใชใŸใ‚’ๅŠฉใ‘ใพใ™...
02:07
One will help you let the other person know that you care and you're listening, the other
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1ใคใฏ ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒๆฐ—ใซใ‹ใ‘ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ€ใใ—ใฆใ‚ใชใŸใŒ่žใ„ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ไป–ใฎไบบใซ็Ÿฅใ‚‰ใ›ใ‚‹ใฎใซๅฝน็ซ‹ใกใพใ™.ใ‚‚ใ†
02:11
one is so that you can express yourself.
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1ใคใฏใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ่‡ชๅˆ†่‡ช่บซใ‚’่กจ็พใงใใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใงใ™ .
02:14
Okay?
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02:14
Because it's important that you have a voice and you should be heard.
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ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
ๅฃฐใ‚’ไธŠใ’ใฆใ€่žใ„ใฆใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใ†ใ“ใจใŒ้‡่ฆใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™ ใ€‚
02:18
And then in the second part when we come back we'll do words that aren't always about being
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ใใ—ใฆๆฌกใฎใƒ‘ใƒผใƒˆ ใงใฏใ€ใ„ใคใ‚‚ๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ใ‚ใ‘ใงใฏใชใ
02:23
angry, but show different states and emotions, and I'll explain them and you can use them
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ใ€ใ•ใพใ–ใพใช็Šถๆ…‹ใ‚„ๆ„Ÿๆƒ…ใ‚’่กจใ™่จ€่‘‰ ใ‚’ไฝฟใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚่ชฌๆ˜Žใ—ใพใ™ใฎใงใ€
02:28
when you're ready.
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ๆบ–ๅ‚™ใŒใงใใŸใ‚‰ไฝฟ็”จใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
02:29
So, let's go.
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ใ˜ใ‚ƒใ€่กŒใ“ใ†ใ€‚
02:32
Okay, these phrases, as it says, will help show that you care about the other person.
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ใ‚ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎใƒ•ใƒฌใƒผใ‚บใฏใ€ใใ‚ŒใŒ่จ€ใ†ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ€ ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ็›ธๆ‰‹ใ‚’ๆฐ—ใซใ‹ใ‘ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็คบใ™ใฎใซๅฝน็ซ‹ใกใพใ™.
02:36
And how do we show we care about the other person?
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ใพใŸใ€็›ธๆ‰‹ใฎใ“ใจใ‚’ๆฐ—ใซใ‹ใ‘ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซ็คบใ™ใฎ ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ‹?
02:39
Sometimes it's to say or to show that they're intelligent. Right?
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ๆ™‚ใซใฏ ใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒ็Ÿฅๆ€งใ‚’ๆŒใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจ่จ€ใฃใŸใ‚Šใ€่ฆ‹ใ›ใŸใ‚Šใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚ ๅณ๏ผŸ
02:43
So the first statement I use as this:
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ใ—ใŸใŒใฃใฆใ€็งใŒๆœ€ๅˆ ใซไฝฟ็”จใ™ใ‚‹ใ‚นใƒ†ใƒผใƒˆใƒกใƒณใƒˆ
02:46
"You have a good point" or "That's a good point".
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ใฏใ€ใ€ŒYou have a good pointใ€ ใพใŸใฏใ€ŒThat's a good pointใ€ใงใ™ใ€‚
02:50
In saying: "That's a good point"...
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ใ€Œใใ‚Œ ใฏ่‰ฏใ„็‚นใ ใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃใฆ...
02:52
I got to put a comma here, I just forgot my comma.
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ใ“ใ“ใซใ‚ซใƒณใƒžใ‚’ๅ…ฅใ‚Œใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ ใงใ—ใŸใŒใ€ใ‚ซใƒณใƒžใ‚’ๅฟ˜ใ‚Œใฆใ—ใพใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
02:54
"That's a good point", in saying that you're admitting that what they're saying, there's valid.
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ใ€Œใใ‚Œใฏ่‰ฏใ„็‚น ใงใ™ใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃใฆใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฎ่จ€ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒๆœ‰ๅŠนใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’่ชใ‚ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚
03:01
Valid means has some truth.
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ๆœ‰ๅŠนใชๆ‰‹ๆฎตใซใฏใ„ใใคใ‹ใฎ็œŸๅฎŸใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฎ่จ€ใ†
03:03
You're not automatically agreeing with everything they say, and that's important.
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ใ“ใจใ™ในใฆใซ่‡ชๅ‹•็š„ใซๅŒๆ„ใ™ใ‚‹ใ‚ใ‘ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ ใ€‚ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ้‡่ฆใชใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚
03:08
When people are arguing, you don't have to agree with everything, but you have to listen
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ไบบใ€…ใŒ่ญฐ่ซ–ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใ™ในใฆใซๅŒๆ„ใ™ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›
03:11
and see what they say because sometimes what they say is good and can help both of you
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03:17
in your relationship.
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ใ‚“ใ€‚
03:18
So simply just saying, you know: "You have a good point.
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ๅ˜็ด”ใซ่จ€ใ†ใจ ใ€ใ€Œใ‚ใชใŸใฏ่‰ฏใ„็‚นใ‚’ๆŒใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹
03:22
I should think about this."
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ใ€‚ใ“ใ‚Œใซใคใ„ใฆ่€ƒใˆใ‚‹ในใใ ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใ ใ‘ใงใ™ใ€‚
03:23
Or: "That's a good point."
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ใพใŸใฏ๏ผšใ€Œใใ‚Œใฏ่‰ฏใ„็‚นใงใ™ใ€‚ใ€
03:25
Even if I don't agree with everything, I can still listen to you and hear that these are
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ใ™ในใฆใซๅŒๆ„ใ™ใ‚‹ใ‚ใ‘ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒใ€ ใ‚ใชใŸใฎ่ฉฑใ‚’่žใ„ใฆใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใŒ
03:30
good points or these make sense.
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่‰ฏใ„็‚นใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ€ใพใŸใฏใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใŒ็†ใซใ‹ใชใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใ‚’่žใใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™.
03:32
All right?
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ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
03:33
By using these phrases here, I just want to point out that it will help you because what
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ใ“ใ“ใงใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎใƒ•ใƒฌใƒผใ‚บใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จ ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฎๅŠฉใ‘ใซใชใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆŒ‡ๆ‘˜ใ—ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ„
03:37
you're saying really is: No matter what we fight about, at the end you're still my good
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ใพใ™ใ€‚ใชใœใชใ‚‰ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ่จ€ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏใ€็งใŸใกใŒไฝ•ใ‚’ ไบ‰ใฃใฆใ‚‚ใ€ๆœ€ๅพŒใซใ‚ใชใŸใฏใพใ ็งใฎ
03:42
friend, you're still my girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, lover, student, or teacher.
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่ฆชๅ‹ใงใ‚ใ‚Šใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใพใ ็งใฎใ‚ฌใƒผใƒซใƒ•ใƒฌใƒณใƒ‰ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™. ใ€ใƒœใƒผใ‚คใƒ•ใƒฌใƒณใƒ‰ใ€ ๅคซใ€ๅฆปใ€ๆ‹ไบบใ€ๅญฆ็”Ÿใ€ใพใŸใฏๆ•™ๅธซใ€‚
03:47
Okay? Not all together, by the way.
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ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ใกใชใฟใซใ€ๅ…จๅ“กไธ€็ท’ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
03:49
But, you know, each one as a partnership, we're...
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ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ใ”ๅญ˜็Ÿฅใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ€ใใ‚Œใžใ‚Œ ใŒใƒ‘ใƒผใƒˆใƒŠใƒผใ‚ทใƒƒใƒ—ใจใ—ใฆใ€็งใŸใกใฏ... ไปŠใฏๅŒๆ„ใ—ใฆใ„ใชใใฆใ‚‚ใ€
03:52
We can still be good or have a good relationship even though we don't agree right now.
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็งใŸใกใฏใพใ ่‰ฏใ„้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’็ฏ‰ใ„ใŸใ‚Šใ€่‰ฏใ„้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’็ฏ‰ใ„ใŸใ‚Šใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ .
03:56
Okay?
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ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
03:57
So that's the first one.
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ใใ‚ŒใŒๆœ€ๅˆใฎใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™ใ€‚
03:58
Here's the second one: "I can understand why you want X."
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2 ใค็›ฎใฏใ€ใ€Œ X ใŒๅฟ…่ฆใช็†็”ฑใฏ็†่งฃใงใใพใ™ใ€ใงใ™ใ€‚
04:03
Well, what I want is important to me, and the fact that you can understand it means
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็งใŒๆฌฒใ—ใ„ใ‚‚ใฎใฏ็งใซใจใฃใฆ้‡่ฆใงใ‚ใ‚Š ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒใใ‚Œใ‚’็†่งฃใงใใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ไบ‹ๅฎŸใฏ
04:06
at least you're listening to me or you think my views are important.
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ใ€ๅฐ‘ใชใใจใ‚‚ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ็งใฎ่ฉฑใ‚’่žใ„ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ ใ‹ใ€็งใฎ่ฆ‹่งฃใŒ้‡่ฆใ ใจ่€ƒใˆใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ—ใพใ™.
04:09
So, by saying that, you can say: "I can understand you want X."
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ใคใพใ‚Šใ€ใ“ใ†่จ€ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ€ ใ€Œใ‚ใชใŸใŒ X ใ‚’ๆœ›ใ‚“ใงใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏ็†่งฃใงใใพใ™ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚
04:13
Once again, you're not saying I'm going to give it to you, but you know what?
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็นฐใ‚Š่ฟ”ใ—ใพใ™ใŒใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ็งใŒใใ‚Œใ‚’ใ‚ใชใŸใซใ‚ใ’ใ‚‹ใจ่จ€ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‚ใ‘ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ ใŒใ€ไฝ•ใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ‹?
04:17
We've been dating-what?-15 years, living together, we have five kids, two kittens,
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็งใŸใกใฏไป˜ใๅˆใฃใฆไฝ•? -15ๅนดไธ€็ท’ใซไฝใ‚“ใงใ„ ใฆใ€5ไบบใฎๅญไพ›ใ€2ๅŒนใฎๅญ็Œซ
04:22
a dog, and a pony - you want to get married.
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ใ€็Šฌใ€ใƒใƒ‹ใƒผใŒใ„ใพใ™-ใ‚ใชใŸ ใฏ็ตๅฉšใ—ใŸใ„.
04:25
I can understand why you would want to get married after all of this commitment.
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ใ“ใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใช็ด„ๆŸใ‚’ใ—ใŸๅพŒใซ็ตๅฉšใ—ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ†็†็”ฑใฏ็†่งฃใงใใพใ™ใ€‚
04:29
It doesn't mean I'm going to do it, but I can understand it because I thought about it.
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ใ‚„ใ‚‹ใจใฏ้™ใ‚‰ใชใ„ใ‘ใฉใ€ ่€ƒใˆใŸใ‹ใ‚‰ใ‚ใ‹ใ‚‹ใ€‚
04:33
That will at least let the person think: "Okay, you can understand."
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ใใ†ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ€ๅฐ‘ใชใใจใ‚‚ใใฎไบบ ใฏใ€Œใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸใ€ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸใ€ใจๆ€ใ†ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใชใ‚‹ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
04:35
They might want something, be prepared, but at least you're showing: I listened to you
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ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’ๆฌฒใ—ใŒใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒ ใ€ๅฐ‘ใชใใจใ‚‚ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ็คบใ—
04:39
and I get it.
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ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
04:40
All right?
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ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
04:41
And it's fair, you can understand that.
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ใใ—ใฆใใ‚Œใฏๅ…ฌๅนณใงใ™ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸ ใฏใใ‚Œใ‚’็†่งฃใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚
04:44
"Tell me more. ...And how can I help you?"
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ใ€Œใ‚‚ใฃใจๆ•™ใˆใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚...ใใ—ใฆใ€ ใฉใ†ใ™ใ‚Œใฐใ‚ใชใŸใ‚’ๅŠฉใ‘ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ‹?ใ€
04:47
This is very powerful.
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ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ้žๅธธใซๅผทๅŠ›ใงใ™ใ€‚
04:49
Very, very powerful, but be careful when you use it.
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้žๅธธใซๅผทๅŠ› ใงใ™ใŒใ€ไฝฟ็”จใซใฏๆณจๆ„ใŒๅฟ…่ฆใงใ™ใ€‚
04:52
When you're telling someone: "Tell me more", you're saying:
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่ชฐใ‹ใซ ใ€Œใ‚‚ใฃใจๆ•™ใˆใฆใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใจใใฏใ€ใ€Œ็งใฏ
04:54
I respect you as a person so I'm willing to listen to you.
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ใ‚ใชใŸใ‚’ไบบใจใ—ใฆๅฐŠ้‡ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ€ ๅ–œใ‚“ใง่€ณใ‚’ๅ‚พใ‘ใพใ™ใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚
04:58
I know, I said scary words: "listen to you".
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็งใฏ็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€็งใฏๆ€–ใ„่จ€่‘‰ใ‚’่จ€ใ„ใพใ—ใŸ ๏ผšใ€Œใ‚ใชใŸใฎ่จ€ใ†ใ“ใจใ‚’่žใ„ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€ใ€‚
05:01
My mouth will remain shut.
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็งใฎๅฃใฏ้–‰ใ˜ใŸใพใพใซใชใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
05:06
That's right, shut it and listen.
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ใใ†ใงใ™ใ€ ใใ‚Œใ‚’้–‰ใ˜ใฆ่žใ„ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
05:09
And then when they're done you can say: "And how can I help?"
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ใใ‚Œใ‚‰ใŒ็ต‚ใ‚ใฃใŸใ‚‰ใ€ ใ€Œใฉใ†ใ™ใ‚ŒใฐๅŠฉใ‘ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใพใ™ใ‹?ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚
05:15
In my job, in my day job-day job-when I teach I also help with students and that, and I've used this.
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็งใฎไป•ไบ‹ใงใ‚‚ใ€ๆ—ฅๅธธใฎไป•ไบ‹ใงใ‚‚ใ€ๆ•™ใˆใ‚‹ใจใใ‚‚ ็”Ÿๅพ’ใฎๆ‰‹ไผใ„ใ‚’ใ—ใŸใ‚Šใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚’ไฝฟใฃใŸใ‚Šใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
05:23
And I know it sounds crazy, but it works very well because first...
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ใŠใ‹ใ—ใชใ“ใจใซ่žใ“ใˆใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒใ€ ใจใฆใ‚‚ใ†ใพใๆฉŸ่ƒฝใ—
05:27
Please don't... Don't be angry when I say this, anyone watching.
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ใพใ™ใ€‚
05:31
Well, when somebody's angry it's like a snake.
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่ชฐใ‹ใŒ ๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใใ€ใใ‚Œใฏใƒ˜ใƒ“ใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใชใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™ใ€‚
05:33
A snake has venom.
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ใƒ˜ใƒ“ใซใฏๆฏ’ใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
05:35
You know?
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05:35
The snake.
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ใปใ‚‰๏ผŸ
ใƒ˜ใƒ“ใ€‚
05:37
And the snake bites.
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ใใ—ใฆใƒ˜ใƒ“ใŒใ‹ใฟใพใ™ใ€‚
05:38
Now, the snake has to let that venom go or it's not good for the snake.
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ใ•ใฆใ€ใƒ˜ใƒ“ใฏใใฎๆฏ’ใ‚’ ๆ‰‹ๆ”พใ•ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ใใ†ใ—ใชใ„ใจใ€ใƒ˜ใƒ“ใซใจใฃใฆ่‰ฏใใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“.
05:43
You know, yeah. It's just not good for the snake.
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ใใ†ใงใ™ใญใ€‚ ใƒ˜ใƒ“ใซใจใฃใฆใฏ่‰ฏใใชใ„ใ ใ‘ใงใ™ใ€‚
05:45
So the snake bites you, you take the venom.
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ใƒ˜ใƒ“ใŒใ‚ใชใŸใ‚’ๅ™›ใ‚€ใฎใงใ€ ใ‚ใชใŸใฏๆฏ’ใ‚’้ฃฒใฟใพใ™ใ€‚
05:47
Now, the snake lets the venom go, it feels better, it can go about its business.
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ไปŠใ€ใƒ˜ใƒ“ใฏๆฏ’ใ‚’ๆ‰‹ๆ”พใ—ใ€ๆฐ—ๅˆ†ใŒ ่‰ฏใใชใ‚Šใ€่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎไป•ไบ‹ใซๅ–ใ‚ŠๆŽ›ใ‹ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™.
05:52
That's what this is about.
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ใใ‚ŒใŒใ“ใ‚Œใงใ™ใ€‚
05:53
"Tell me more" is someone's angry, they got to let it out.
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ใ€ŒTell me moreใ€ใฏ่ชฐใ‹ใฎ ๆ€’ใ‚Šใงใ‚ใ‚Šใ€ใใ‚Œใ‚’ๅใๅ‡บใ•ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
05:56
By letting them let it out it's like...
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ๅฝผใ‚‰ใซ ใใ‚Œใ‚’ๅ‡บใ•ใ›ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ€ใใ‚Œใฏโ€ฆ
05:58
Think of a balloon.
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้ขจ่ˆนใ‚’่€ƒใˆใฆใฟใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
05:59
The balloon is big, about to pop, but as the air...
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้ขจ่ˆนใฏๅคงใใใ€็ ด่ฃ‚ๅฏธๅ‰ ใงใ™ใŒ
06:02
The air goes out, the balloon won't pop, and now the balloon can go back and forth, still
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ใ€็ฉบๆฐ—ใŒๆŠœใ‘ใ‚‹ใจ... ็ฉบๆฐ—ใŒใชใใชใ‚‹ใจใ€้ขจ่ˆนใฏ็ ด่ฃ‚ใ› ใšใ€้ขจ่ˆนใฏๅ‰ๅพŒใซ็งปๅ‹•ใงใ
06:07
be a balloon and not explode.
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ใพใ™ใŒใ€้ขจ่ˆนใฎใพใพใง็ˆ†็™บใ—ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
06:10
That's good for the balloon. Right?
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ๆฐ—็ƒใซใจใฃใฆใฏใ„ใ„ใ“ใจใ ใ€‚ ๅณ๏ผŸ
06:12
It's also good for you because you let it out, usually they let you know exactly what's
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ใพใŸใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒใใ‚Œใ‚’ๅฃใซๅ‡บใ™ใ“ใจใฏใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใซใจใฃใฆใ‚‚่‰ฏใ„ใ“ใจใงใ™ ใ€‚้€šๅธธใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏไฝ•ใŒ่ตทใ“ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚’ๆญฃ็ขบใซ็Ÿฅใ‚‰ใ›ใฆใใ‚Œใ‚‹
06:15
going on so you can think about it if your mouth is shut, and then you can say:
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ใฎใงใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒๅฃใ‚’้–‰ใ˜ใฆใ„ใฆใ‚‚ใใ‚Œใซใคใ„ใฆ่€ƒใˆใ‚‹ ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ใใ—ใฆใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใ“ใ†
06:21
"And how can I help?"
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่จ€ใ†ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚
06:23
Honestly, 50% of the time once they let that out, they're like: "I just needed to vent."
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ๆญฃ็›ดใชใจใ“ใ‚ใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒใใ‚Œใ‚’ๅใๅ‡บใ™ใจใ€50% ใฎ็ขบ็Ž‡ใง ใ€ใ€ŒใŸใ ๅใๅ‡บใ™ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใฃใŸใ ใ‘ใ ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
06:29
"Needed to vent" is an English expression means: "I was upset or angry, I had all this
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"Need to vent" ใฏ่‹ฑ่ชžใงๆฌกใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใช ๆ„ๅ‘ณใงใ™: "็งใฏๅ‹•ๆบใ—ใŸใ‚Šๆ€’ใฃใŸใ‚Šใ—ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚็งใฎไธญใซใฏใ“ใฎใ‚จใƒใƒซใ‚ฎใƒผใŒใ™ในใฆใ‚ใ‚Š
06:34
energy inside and I had to let it go.
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ใ€ใใ‚Œใ‚’ๆ‰‹ๆ”พใ•ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใงใ—ใŸใ€‚
06:37
And now I let it go, I can do it myself.
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ใใ—ใฆไปŠใ€็งใฏใใ‚Œใ‚’ๆ‰‹ๆ”พใ—ใพใ—ใŸ ใ€‚็งใฏ่‡ชๅˆ†ใงใใ‚Œใ‚’่กŒใ†ใ“ใจ
06:39
I can fix it myself."
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ใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚็งใฏ่‡ชๅˆ†ใงใใ‚Œใ‚’็›ดใ™ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ ."
06:41
The other 50%, that's why I said it's dangerous, when you say: "And how can I help?" they might
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ๆฎ‹ใ‚Šใฎ 50% ใฏๅฑ้™บใ ใจ่จ€ใฃใŸใฎ ใฏใใฎใŸใ‚ใงใ™ใ€‚ ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏ่จ€ใ†ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›
06:46
say: "Hey, this is what I want from you."
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ใ‚“๏ผšใ€Œใญใˆใ€ใ“ใ‚ŒใŒ ใ‚ใชใŸใซๆฌฒใ—ใ„ใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™ใ€‚ใ€
06:48
And because you said: "How can I help?" you kind of have to do it.
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ่จ€ใฃใŸใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™๏ผšใ€Œใฉใ†ใ™ใ‚Œใฐ ๅŠฉใ‘ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใพใ™ใ‹๏ผŸใ€ ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใใ‚Œใ‚’ใ—ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
06:52
But remember what we said up here?
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ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ ใ“ใ“ใง่จ€ใฃใŸใ“ใจใ‚’่ฆšใˆใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ‹?
06:54
Because you care about the argument or you care about the person, you probably want to
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ่ญฐ่ซ–ใ‚’ๆฐ—ใซใ‹ใ‘ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ ใ€ใใฎไบบใ‚’ๆฐ—ใซใ‹ใ‘ใฆ
06:58
help them because you actually do care about them.
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ใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ€ ๅฎŸ้š›ใซๅฝผใ‚‰ใ‚’ๆฐ—ใซใ‹ใ‘ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ€ใŠใใ‚‰ใๅฝผใ‚‰ใ‚’ๅŠฉใ‘ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ†ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†.
07:01
So keep that in mind. Okay?
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ใงใ™ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€ใใ‚Œใ‚’่ฆšใˆใฆใŠใ„ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
07:03
And once they vent, usually what they ask for isn't this big, monstrous thing.
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒ็™บๆ•ฃใ™ใ‚‹ใจใ€้€šๅธธใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒๆฑ‚ใ‚ ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใฏใ€ใ“ใฎๅคงใใใฆๅทจๅคงใชใ‚‚ใฎใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“.
07:08
Sometimes it's a little thing that you can help with.
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ๆ™‚ใซใฏใใ‚Œ ใฏใ‚ใชใŸใŒๅŠฉใ‘ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚‹ๅฐใ•ใชใ“ใจใงใ™.
07:11
So be generous, say: "How can I help?"
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ใงใ™ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€ๅฏ›ๅคงใซใ€ ใ€Œใฉใ†ใ™ใ‚ŒใฐๅŠฉใ‘ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใพใ™ใ‹?ใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
07:14
It goes a long way. All right?
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ใใ‚Œใฏ้•ทใ„้“ใฎใ‚Šใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
07:16
Now, these thring-, three things, as I said, will tell the other person that you care about them.
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ใ•ใฆใ€็งใŒ่จ€ใฃใŸใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎ3ใคใฎใ“ใจใฏใ€ ใ‚ใชใŸใŒใใ‚Œใ‚‰ใ‚’ๆฐ—ใซใ‹ใ‘ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็›ธๆ‰‹ใซไผใˆใพใ™.
07:20
Especially this one: "How can I help you?" because I care about you.
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็‰นใซใ“ใ‚Œใฏใ€Œใฉใ†ใ™ใ‚Œ ใฐใ„ใ„ใงใ™ใ‹๏ผŸใ€ ็งใฏใ‚ใชใŸใฎใ“ใจใ‚’ๆฐ—ใซใ‹ใ‘ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™ใ€‚
07:23
And it'll change your relationship, it'll change the way you fight.
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ใใ—ใฆใใ‚Œใฏใ‚ใชใŸใฎ้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’ ๅค‰ใˆใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฎๆˆฆใ„ๆ–นใ‚’ๅค‰ใˆใ‚‹ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚ ใŠไบ’ใ„
07:26
You'll have more respect for each other.
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ใ‚’ใ‚‚ใฃใจๅฐŠ้‡ใงใใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ† ใซใชใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
07:28
And you're learning my language, so I'm trying to teach you how we think.
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ็งใฎ่จ€่ชžใ‚’ๅญฆใ‚“ใงใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ€ ็งใฏใ‚ใชใŸใซ็งใŸใกใฎ่€ƒใˆๆ–นใ‚’ๆ•™ใˆใ‚ˆใ†ใจใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™.
07:31
And these words are important to us.
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎ่จ€่‘‰ใฏ ็งใŸใกใซใจใฃใฆ้‡่ฆใงใ™ใ€‚
07:34
Now, there's two sides to every coin, and a coin is money, and in this case there are
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ใ•ใฆใ€ใ™ในใฆใฎใ‚ณใ‚คใƒณใซใฏ 2 ใคใฎๅด้ขใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใ€ ใ‚ณใ‚คใƒณใฏใŠ้‡‘ใงใ™ใ€‚ใ“ใฎๅ ดๅˆ
07:40
two sides to every argument: The people you're fighting with and you.
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ใ€ใ™ในใฆใฎ่ญฐ่ซ–ใซใฏ 2 ใคใฎๅด้ข ใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ใ‚ใชใŸใŒๆˆฆใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ไบบใ€…ใจใ‚ใชใŸใงใ™ใ€‚ ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎ
07:44
If you don't express or let people know how you feel, things won't change for the better
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ๆฐ—ๆŒใกใ‚’่กจ็พใ—ใŸใ‚Šใ€ไบบใซ็Ÿฅใ‚‰ใ›ใŸใ‚Šใ—ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐ ใ€็‰ฉไบ‹ใฏ่‰ฏใใชใฃใŸใ‚Šใ€่‰ฏใใชใฃ
07:50
or things won't be good.
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ใŸใ‚Šใ—ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
07:51
So in this case I want to take the time to go through and give you some phrases that
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ใใ“ใงไปŠๅ›žใฏใ€ๆ™‚้–“ ใ‚’ใ‹ใ‘ใฆ่‡ชๅˆ†
07:56
are useful to help you express yourself.
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ใ‚’่กจ็พใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใซๅฝน็ซ‹ใคใƒ•ใƒฌใƒผใ‚บใ‚’็ดนไป‹ใ—ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ„ ใพใ™ใ€‚
07:59
Here's the funny thing.
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ใ“ใ‚ŒใŒ้ข็™ฝใ„ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚
08:01
Remember before we have to put the other person high and lower yourself to make them feel better?
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็›ธๆ‰‹ใฎๆฐ—ๅˆ†ใ‚’่‰ฏใใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซใ€็›ธๆ‰‹ใ‚’้ซ˜ใไธŠใ’ใฆ่‡ชๅˆ†ใ‚’ไธ‹ใ’ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ๅ‰ใซ่ฆšใˆใฆใŠใ„ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ ใ€‚
08:06
And by the way, it's not a sign of weakness to go lower.
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ใกใชใฟใซใ€ ไธ‹ใŒใ‚‹ใฎใฏๅผฑใ•ใฎๅ…†ๅ€™ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
08:09
It takes great strength to be able to sit down and let someone else talk.
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ๅบงใฃใฆไป–ใฎไบบใซ่ฉฑใ‚’ใ•ใ›ใ‚‹ใซใฏใ€ๅคงใใชๅŠ›ใŒๅฟ…่ฆใงใ™ใ€‚
08:14
Okay?
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ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
08:16
But in this case, ah, when you want to really push your point, you have to do something
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ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ใ“ใฎๅ ดๅˆใ€ใ‚ใ‚ใ€่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎไธปๅผตใ‚’ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซๆŽจใ—้€ฒใ‚ใŸใ„ใจใใฏใ€ๅฐ‘ใ—้•ใ† ใ“ใจใ‚’ใ—ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“
08:21
a little different.
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ใ€‚
08:22
Once again, you got to lower yourself. Huh?
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ใ‚‚ใ†ไธ€ๅบฆใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ่‡ชๅˆ†่‡ช่บซใ‚’ไธ‹ใ’ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ ใ€‚ ใฏ๏ผŸ
08:25
Well, for some people this is called lowering themselves.
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ใพใ‚ใ€ไธ€้ƒจใฎไบบใ€…ใซใจใฃใฆใฏใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ ่‡ชๅˆ†่‡ช่บซใ‚’ไธ‹ใ’ใ‚‹ใจๅ‘ผใฐใ‚Œใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
08:28
For me it's actually being very strong.
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็งใซใจใฃใฆใ€ใใ‚ŒใฏๅฎŸ้š› ใซใฏ้žๅธธใซๅผทๅŠ›ใงใ™ใ€‚
08:31
You got to tell the truth.
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ็œŸๅฎŸใ‚’่จ€ใ‚ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
08:33
And in order to do that without being too strong and making the other person defensive,
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ ๅผทใ™ใŽใฆ็›ธๆ‰‹ใ‚’้˜ฒๅพก็š„
08:38
which means they want to fight with you instead of listen, we're going to take what I would
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ใซใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใชใใ€ใคใพใ‚Š็›ธๆ‰‹ ใŒ่žใใฎใงใฏใชใใ‚ใชใŸใจๆˆฆใ„ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ‚ใชใ„ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซใ€
08:42
say is a soft approach or a soft way of communicating.
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็งใฏใ‚ฝใƒ•ใƒˆใชใ‚ขใƒ—ใƒญใƒผใƒใพใŸใฏ ใ‚ฝใƒ•ใƒˆใชใ‚ณใƒŸใƒฅใƒ‹ใ‚ฑใƒผใ‚ทใƒงใƒณๆ–นๆณ•ใ‚’ๆŽก็”จใ—ใพใ™.
08:46
The first one is this: "Look, I know this might sound stupid, but what really is bothering
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ๆœ€ๅˆใฎใ‚‚ใฎใฏใ“ใ‚Œใงใ™๏ผšใ€Œใปใ‚‰ใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ ใฐใ‹ใ’ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซ่žใ“ใˆใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒใ€ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ
08:52
me is this..."
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็งใ‚’ๆ‚ฉใพใ›ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใฏใ“ใ‚Œใงใ™...ใ€
08:55
So, yeah, look, I know this might sound stupid, but what's really bothering me is...
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09:01
By saying: "Look"...
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ใ€Œใปใ‚‰ใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃใฆใƒปใƒปใƒปใกใชใฟใซ
09:02
That's a secret command, by the way.
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ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ็ง˜ๅฏ†ใฎ ใ‚ณใƒžใƒณใƒ‰ใงใ™ใ€‚
09:04
Saying: "Look", you're saying: "Stop. Pay attention."
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ใ€Œ่ฆ‹ใฆใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใ“ใจใฏใ€ใ€Œใ‚„ใ‚ใฆใ€ๆณจๆ„ใ—ใฆใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ™ ใ€‚
09:07
But then you're saying: "What really is bothering me",
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ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใ“ใ†่จ€ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™: ใ€Œไฝ•ใŒ ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ็งใ‚’ๆ‚ฉใพใ›
09:09
but this part here: "it might sound stupid" is saying:
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09:12
"I know to you this may not be a big thing, and I know it's kind of, you know, not that important",
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ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹? ใใ‚Œใปใฉ้‡่ฆใงใฏใชใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃ
09:17
but because you're doing that it kind of softens what you're
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ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€ใŒใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒใใ†ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ่จ€ใŠใ†ใจใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ ใ“ใจใ‚’ๅ’Œใ‚‰ใ’ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใ
09:21
about to say because you're going to say what is really bothering me.
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ใพใ™.
09:24
This does not make me happy.
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ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ็งใ‚’ๅ–œใฐใ›ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
09:25
But I'm not saying: "Hey, stupid, you pissed me off."
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ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€็งใฏใ“ใ†่จ€ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ ใ€‚
09:28
I'm saying: "Hey, I know. Sorry. Don't mean to bother you."
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็งใฏใ“ใ† ่จ€ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
09:33
And because that most people will go:
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ใชใœใชใ‚‰ใ€ ใปใจใ‚“ใฉใฎไบบใฏใ“ใ†่จ€ใ†ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™:
09:35
"Well, no, it's no bother. No, no, please speak",
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ใ€Œใพใ‚ใ€ใ„ใ„ใˆใ€ๆฐ— ใซใ—ใชใ„ใงใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ใ„ใ„ใˆใ€ใ„ใ„ใˆใ€่ฉฑใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€ใ€
09:38
because I've lowered myself and said:
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ใชใœใชใ‚‰็งใฏ ่‡ชๅˆ†่‡ช่บซใ‚’ไฝŽใใ—ใฆ่จ€ใฃใŸใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™:
09:40
"I know it doesn't seem important to you, but..."
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09:44
And most people are generous enough that they'll go: "Okay, cool. Gotcha.
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ใปใจใ‚“ใฉใฎไบบใฏๅฏ›ๅคงใง ใ€ใ€Œใ‚ˆใ—ใ€ใ‚ฏใƒผใƒซใ ใ€‚ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸใ€‚
09:47
Well, why don't you talk?"
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ใ˜ใ‚ƒใ‚ใ€่ฉฑใ•ใชใ„๏ผŸใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
09:48
Cool. See? You secretly slide in.
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ๆถผใ—ใ„ใ€‚ ่ฆ‹ใ‚‹๏ผŸ ใ“ใฃใใ‚Šๆป‘ใ‚Š่พผใฟ
09:51
First you come in, smash!
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ใพใ™ใ€‚ใพใšใฏๅ…ฅใฃใฆใ‚นใƒžใƒƒใ‚ทใƒฅ๏ผ
09:52
I'm kidding.
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ๅ†—่ซ‡ใงใ™ใ€‚
09:53
First you say: "Look, pay attention."
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ๆœ€ๅˆใซใ€ใ€Œ่ฆ‹ใฆใ€ ๆณจๆ„ใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
09:55
Then you lower yourself, then you introduce what you want to say.
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ๆฌกใซใ€่‡ชๅˆ†่‡ช่บซใ‚’ไธ‹ใ’ใฆ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€่จ€ใ„ใŸใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’็ดนไป‹ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
09:59
Cool? I know, sneaky. Sorry.
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ๆถผใ—ใ„๏ผŸ ็งใฏ็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€ๅ‘ๅŠฃใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ”ใ‚ใ‚“ใ€‚
10:02
Sneaky means not direct, but sometimes you do what you do to get the job done. Right?
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ๅ‘ๅŠฃใจใฏ็›ดๆŽฅ็š„ใงใฏใชใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณ ใ—ใพใ™ใŒใ€ไป•ไบ‹ใ‚’ๆˆใ—้‚ใ’ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซ่‡ชๅˆ†ใŒใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ๅณ๏ผŸ
10:07
Okay.
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ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸใ€‚
10:08
Here's a second: "That" and I say "X".
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ใ“ใ“ใซ 2 ็•ช็›ฎใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ€Œใใ‚Œใ€ใจ็งใฏใ€ŒXใ€ใจ่จ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
10:12
Whatever X is, it could be a comment they said, a thing they did:
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X ใŒไฝ•ใงใ‚ใ‚Œใ€ใใ‚Œใฏๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒ่จ€ใฃใŸใ‚ณใƒกใƒณใƒˆใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ—ใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒใ—ใŸใ“ใจใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œ
10:17
"hurt my feelings because..."
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10:20
Once again you're saying: "I'm hurt."
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ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ็›ธๆ‰‹ใซ่ฒฌไปปใ‚’
10:22
You're not putting the blame on the other person.
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ๆŠผใ—ไป˜ใ‘ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‚ใ‘ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ ใ€‚ ็งใŒใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎ
10:25
You'll notice if you listen carefully when I do these, I'm never saying:
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ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆณจๆ„ๆทฑใ่žใ„ใฆใ„ใ‚Œใฐ ใ€ใ€Œใ™ในใฆใ‚ใชใŸใฎใ›ใ„ใ ใ€ใจใฏๆฑบใ—ใฆ่จ€ใฃใฆใ„ใชใ„ใ“ใจใซๆฐ—ไป˜ใใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†
10:28
"It's all your fault."
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ใ€‚
10:29
The first one I'm saying: "You might think this is stupid because it's something I'm thinking."
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็งใŒ่จ€ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ๆœ€ๅˆใฎใ‚‚ใฎใฏใ€ใ€Œใ“ใ‚Œใฏ็งใŒ่€ƒใˆใฆ ใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใชใฎใงใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใฏใฐใ‹ใ’ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจๆ€ใ†ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ใ€
10:34
Not you being stupid, not your fault.
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏๆ„šใ‹ใง ใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฎใ›ใ„ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
10:36
This one: "That thing hurt my feelings. Not you."
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ใ“ใ‚Œ๏ผšใ€Œใ‚ใฎใ“ใจใฏ็งใฎๆฐ—ๆŒใกใ‚’ๅ‚ทใคใ‘ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ ใ‚ใชใŸใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ใ€
10:41
Right?
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10:41
That thing that you said.
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ๅณ๏ผŸ
ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ่จ€ใฃใŸใใฎใ“ใจใ€‚
10:43
Not you, but the thing that you said hurt my feelings, and it hurt my feelings because...
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ใ‚ใชใŸใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ่จ€ใฃใŸใ“ใจใฏ็งใฎ ๆฐ—ๆŒใกใ‚’
10:46
Then I tell you why it hurt my feelings.
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ๅ‚ทใคใ‘ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
10:49
Because I'm not directly coming at you, the person can actually sit down and listen because
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็งใŒ็›ดๆŽฅใ‚ใชใŸใซ่ฉฑใ—ใ‹ใ‘ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‚ใ‘ใงใฏใชใ„ใฎใงใ€ใใฎ ไบบใฏๅฎŸ้š›ใซๅบงใฃใฆ่žใใ“ใจ
10:53
they don't feel like they're being attacked.
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ใŒใงใ ใพใ™ใ€‚ๆ”ปๆ’ƒใ•ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใฏๆ„Ÿใ˜ใชใ„ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™ใ€‚
10:54
It's really important.
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ใใ‚Œใฏๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ้‡่ฆใงใ™ใ€‚
10:56
All right?
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ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
10:58
Third one is this one:
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3 ใค็›ฎใฏใ€
11:03
"I'm scared and I don't really want to admit it, but I'm afraid you
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ใ€Œ็งใฏๆ€–ใ„ใฎใงใ€ๆœฌๅฝ“ใฏ่ชใ‚ใŸใใชใ„ใฎ ใงใ™ใŒใ€ใ‚ใชใŸ
11:08
might feel..."
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ใŒๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ—ใพใ†ใฎใงใฏใชใ„ใ‹ใจๅฟƒ้…ใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™
11:09
Or: "I'm afraid..."
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...ใ€ใพใŸใฏใ€Œ็งใฏๆใ‚Œใฆใ„ใพใ™...ใ€
11:11
Admitting scared is natural for humans that if someone says: "I'm scared" or "I'm afraid",
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่ชฐใ‹ใŒใ€Œๆ€–ใ„ใ€ใจใ‹ใ€Œๆ€–ใ„ใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃ
11:17
you want to protect them because coming to you saying: "Look, I'm scared of this", I'm
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ใŸใ‚‰ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏๅฝผใ‚‰ใ‚’ๅฎˆใ‚ŠใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใฃใฆใ„
11:22
saying: "You're my protector.
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ใพใ™ใ€‚ ็งใฎๅฎˆ่ญท่€…ใ‚ˆใ€‚
11:23
Can you help me?"
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ๅŠฉใ‘ใฆใใ‚Œใ‚‹๏ผŸใ€
11:25
And for the average person, they'll go: "You're scared?
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ๅนณๅ‡็š„ใชไบบใฏใ€ ใ€Œๆ€–ใ„ใฎ๏ผŸ
11:27
What are you scared of?"
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ไฝ•ใ‚’ๆ€–ใŒใฃใฆใ‚‹ใฎ๏ผŸใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
11:28
And they want to play superhero: "How can I help?"
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏใ‚นใƒผใƒ‘ใƒผใƒ’ใƒผใƒญใƒผใ‚’ๆผ”ใ˜ใŸใ„ใจ ๆ€ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
11:31
So by saying that and you're saying: "I'm afraid, but I'm afraid", blah, blah, blah,
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ใงใ™ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒใ“ใ†่จ€ใ† ใ“ใจใงใ€ใ€Œ็งใฏๆใ‚Œใฆใ„ใพใ™ใŒใ€
11:35
what is making me afraid, it allows them to listen and then want to participate and help you.
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็งใฏๆใ‚Œใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€ ใจ่จ€ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ™ใ€‚
11:41
It's kind of like this one.
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ใ“ใ‚ŒใฟใŸใ„ใชๆ„Ÿใ˜ใงใ™ใ€‚
11:42
Remember I said: This might get you in trouble because they will ask for your help?
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็งใŒ่จ€ใฃใŸใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ€ใ„ๅ‡บใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„: ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏใ‚ใชใŸใฎๅŠฉใ‘ใ‚’ๆฑ‚ใ‚ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใฏใ‚ใชใŸใ‚’ๅ›ฐใ‚‰ใ›ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“?
11:46
Well, this gets them in trouble because if they're going to be your protector, they have
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ๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒใ‚ใชใŸใฎไฟ่ญท่€…ใซใชใ‚‹ใคใ‚‚ใ‚Šใชใ‚‰ใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰
11:50
to do something.
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ใฏไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’ใ—ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚‰ใชใ„ใฎใงใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใฏๅฝผใ‚‰ใ‚’ๅ›ฐใ‚‰ใ›ใพใ™.
11:51
Yeah, see?
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ใˆใˆใ€ใ‚ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ
11:52
Yin and yang, a bit of balance on that. Okay?
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้™ฐใจ้™ฝใ€ใใฎไธŠใฎๅฐ‘ใ—ใฎ ใƒใƒฉใƒณใ‚นใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
11:55
So, using these phrases will change your arguments because fighting's a part of life, you can't
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ใ—ใŸใŒใฃใฆใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎใƒ•ใƒฌใƒผใ‚บใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จใ™ใ‚‹ใจใ€่ญฐ่ซ–ใŒๅค‰ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ใชใœใชใ‚‰ใ€ๆˆฆใ„ใฏไบบ็”Ÿใฎไธ€้ƒจใงใ‚ใ‚Šใ€้€ƒใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏใงใใชใ„
12:00
escape them.
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ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™.
12:01
But what you can do is use the fight to make a better relationship.
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ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใซใงใใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏ ใ€ใ‚ˆใ‚Š่‰ฏใ„้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’็ฏ‰ใใŸใ‚ใซๅ–งๅ˜ฉใ‚’ๅˆฉ็”จใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ™.
12:06
And by doing that, what we want to do is first of all let the other person know you care.
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ใใ†ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ€็งใŸใกใŒใ‚„ใ‚ŠใŸใ„ใ“ใจใฏใ€ใพใš็ฌฌไธ€ใซ ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒๆฐ—ใซใ‹ใ‘ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็›ธๆ‰‹ใซ็Ÿฅใ‚‰ใ›ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚
12:11
It doesn't matter how this argument goes, at the end we're still going to be who we
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ใ“ใฎ่ญฐ่ซ–ใŒใฉใ†ใชใ‚‹ใ‹ใฏๅ•้กŒใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“
12:15
are; brother-sister, mother-father, husband-wife, teacher-student.
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ใ€‚ ๅ…„ๅฆนใ€ๆฏ็ˆถใ€ ๅคซๅฆปใ€ๅธซๅผŸใ€‚
12:18
Our relationship doesn't change because we have a disagreement.
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ๆ„่ฆ‹ใฎ็›ธ้•ใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‰ใจใ„ใฃใฆใ€็งใŸใกใฎ้–ขไฟ‚ใฏๅค‰ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
12:23
And I really want to listen to what's wrong so I can help.
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ ไฝ•ใŒๆ‚ชใ„ใฎใ‹ใ‚’ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ่žใใŸใ„ใฎใงใ€ๅŠฉใ‘ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
12:25
Right?
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ๅณ๏ผŸ
12:26
At the same time sometimes you have to tell people this isn't working, but I want you
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ๅŒๆ™‚ใซใ€ใ“ใ‚ŒใŒใ†ใพใใ„ใ‹ใชใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’ไบบใ€…ใซไผใˆใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚‰ใชใ„ใ“ใจใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใŒใ€ ็งใฏ็งใŸใกใฎ้–ขไฟ‚
12:32
to know that I care about our relationship.
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ใ‚’ๆฐ—ใซใ‹ใ‘ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใปใ—ใ„ .
12:33
It's not going to change, but this is what I need from you to make it work.
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ๅค‰ใ‚ใ‚‹ ใ“ใจใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒใ€ใใ‚Œใ‚’ๆฉŸ่ƒฝใ•ใ›ใ‚‹ใซใฏใ€ใ“ใ‚ŒใŒๅฟ…่ฆใงใ™ใ€‚
12:37
Pretty cool, huh?
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ใ‹ใฃใ“ใ„ใ„ใงใ—ใ‚‡๏ผŸ
12:38
And it's all words, and that's why you're here, to learn English and how we use it.
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ใใ‚Œใฏใ™ในใฆ่จ€่‘‰ใงใ‚ใ‚Šใ€ใใ‚ŒใŒ ่‹ฑ่ชžใจใใฎไฝฟใ„ๆ–นใ‚’ๅญฆใถใŸใ‚ใซใ‚ใชใŸใŒใ“ใ“ใซใ„ใ‚‹็†็”ฑใงใ™.
12:43
Not just vocabulary, not just grammar, but how it works together to make us...
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่ชžๅฝ™ใ ใ‘ใงใชใใ€ๆ–‡ๆณ•ใ ใ‘ใงใชใใ€ใใ‚Œใ‚‰ ใŒใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซ้€ฃๆบใ—ใฆ็งใŸใกใ‚’ไฝœใ‚‹ใฎใ‹...
12:47
Or make us able to communicate with each other.
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ใพใŸใฏ็งใŸใกใŒไบ’ใ„ใซใ‚ณใƒŸใƒฅใƒ‹ใ‚ฑใƒผใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใงใใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ™ใ‚‹ .
12:50
Now, we're going to come back in a second and what are we going to do?
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ใ•ใฆใ€ใ™ใใซๆˆปใฃใฆใใพใ™ใŒ ใ€ไฝ•ใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ใคใ‚‚ใ‚Šใงใ™ใ‹?
12:52
Well, there's other words besides "angry".
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ใ€Œๆ€’ใ‚‹ใ€ไปฅๅค–ใซใ‚‚่จ€่‘‰ใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
12:54
I'm sure that's...
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12:56
It's like "delicious", there are other words besides "delicious" for food, there's other
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ใ€ŒใŠใ„ใ—ใ„ใ€ใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใชใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ€ŒใŠใ„ใ—ใ„ใ€ไปฅๅค–ใซใ‚‚้ฃŸใน็‰ฉใ‚’
13:00
words besides "angry" for emotions, and we're going to look at that in our vocabulary.
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่กจใ™่จ€่‘‰ใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใ€ใ€Œๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€ไปฅๅค–ใซใ‚‚ๆ„Ÿๆƒ…ใ‚’่กจใ™่จ€่‘‰ใŒใ‚ใ‚Š ใพใ™ใ€‚
13:04
Are you ready?
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ๆบ–ๅ‚™ใฏใงใใŸใ‹๏ผŸ
13:05
Let's go.
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ใ•ใ‚่กŒใ“ใ†ใ€‚
13:06
[Snaps]
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[ใ‚นใƒŠใƒƒใƒ—]
13:07
Okay, so, let's go into the vocabulary.
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ใงใฏใ€่ชžๅฝ™ใซๅ…ฅใ‚Šใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ† ใ€‚
13:09
We've got some useful statements that we learned earlier, and we'll do the vocabulary now.
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ไปฅๅ‰ใซๅญฆใ‚“ใ ไพฟๅˆฉใชใ‚นใƒ†ใƒผใƒˆใƒกใƒณใƒˆใŒใ„ใใคใ‹ใ‚ใ‚‹ ใฎใงใ€ใ“ใ“ใง่ชžๅฝ™ใ‚’ๅญฆ็ฟ’ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
13:15
Angry is a natural way of being, but that's a general term because what it usually covers
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ๆ€’ใ‚Šใฏ่‡ช็„ถใชใ‚ใ‚Šๆ–นใงใ™ใŒใ€ ใใ‚Œใฏไธ€่ˆฌ็š„ใช็”จ่ชž
13:24
are other words that we're actually feeling.
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ใงใ™.
13:27
So I'm... I've got them listed here because if your only word is "angry", here are some useful
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ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰็งใฏ...ใ“ใ“ใซใƒชใ‚นใƒˆใ‚ขใƒƒใƒ—ใ—ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ใชใœใชใ‚‰ใ€ ใ‚ใชใŸใฎๅ”ฏไธ€ใฎ่จ€่‘‰ใŒใ€Œๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€ใชใ‚‰ใ€ใ€Œๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€ไปฅๅค–ใฎ่‡ชๅˆ†ใ‚’่กจ็พใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใซๅฝน็ซ‹ใค่จ€่‘‰ใŒใ„ใใคใ‹ใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™
13:32
words to express yourself other than "angry".
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.
13:35
Or when you say "angry", what do you really mean?
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ใพใŸใฏใ€ใ€Œๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใจใใ€ ๆœฌๅฝ“ใฎๆ„ๅ‘ณใฏไฝ•ใงใ™ใ‹?
13:37
How do you really feel inside?
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏๅฎŸ้š›ใซใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซๆ„Ÿใ˜ใพใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ
13:39
"Angry" is a heat, let's just say, that you want to do something.
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ใ€Œๆ€’ใ‚Šใ€ใจใฏใ€ ไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’ใ—ใŸใ„ใจใ„ใ†็†ฑๆ„ใงใ™ใ€‚
13:45
It's like an energy that you want to move and use. Right?
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ใใ‚Œใฏใ‚ใชใŸใŒๅ‹•ใ‹ใ—ใฆไฝฟใ„ใŸใ„ใ‚จใƒใƒซใ‚ฎใƒผใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใชใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™ ใ€‚ ๅณ๏ผŸ
13:49
And you don't feel good.
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏๆฐ—ๅˆ†ใŒ่‰ฏใใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
13:50
But, see?
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ใงใ‚‚ใ€ใปใ‚‰๏ผŸ
13:51
When I say those things, it's like: What the hell does that mean?
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็งใŒใใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎใ“ใจใ‚’่จ€ใ†ใจใใ€ใใ‚Œใฏๆฌกใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใชใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™๏ผš ไธ€ไฝ“ใใ‚Œใฏใฉใ†ใ„ใ†ๆ„ๅ‘ณใงใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ
13:54
And that's when people feel angry, they're like: "I'm so angry!" and you're like: "Why? What?"
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ใใ‚Œใฏไบบใ€…ใŒๆ€’ใ‚Šใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚‹ ใจใใงใ™ใ€‚ ใใ—ใฆใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใ€Œใชใœ๏ผŸไฝ•๏ผŸใ€ใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใงใ™ใ€‚
14:00
Here's what "angry" sometimes means, and if you actually think it through...
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ใ“ใ‚ŒใŒใ€Œๆ€’ใ‚Šใ€ใฎๆ„ๅ‘ณ ใงใ™ใ€‚ๅฎŸ้š›ใซใ‚ˆใ่€ƒใˆใฆใฟใ‚‹ใจ
14:05
I mean, it's an English lesson, but let's go a little further. Okay?
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โ€ฆใคใพใ‚Šใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ่‹ฑ่ชžใฎใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใงใ™ใŒ ใ€ใ‚‚ใ†ๅฐ‘ใ—ๅ…ˆใซ้€ฒใฟใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
14:09
It'll help you become less angry as you can actually express what you really mean.
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ๆœฌๅฝ“ใฎๆ„ๅ‘ณใ‚’ๅฎŸ้š›ใซ่กจ็พใงใใ‚‹ใฎใงใ€ๆ€’ใ‚Šใ‚’ๆŠ‘ใˆใ‚‹ใฎใซๅฝน็ซ‹ใกใพใ™ ใ€‚
14:13
Okay?
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ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
14:14
And you'll probably get more results this way.
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ใŠใใ‚‰ใ ใ“ใฎๆ–นๆณ•ใงใ‚ˆใ‚Šๅคšใใฎ็ตๆžœใ‚’ๅพ—ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚
14:16
So, first: "angry".
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ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€ใพใšใ€Œๆ€’ใ‚‹ใ€ใ€‚
14:19
I love this word: "upset". Upset's a funny word.
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็งใฏใ“ใฎใ€Œๅ‹•ๆบใ€ใจใ„ใ†่จ€่‘‰ใŒๅคงๅฅฝใใงใ™ใ€‚ ๅ‹•ๆบใฏ้ข็™ฝใ„่จ€่‘‰ใงใ™ใ€‚
14:21
For men and women it's a little different, so please listen carefully.
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็”ทๆ€งใจๅฅณๆ€งใงใฏๅฐ‘ใ— ้•ใ†ใฎใงใ€ใ‚ˆใ่žใ„ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
14:25
"Upset" means you're not happy about something.
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ใ€Œๅ‹•ๆบใ€ใฏใ€ไฝ•ใ‹ใซๆบ€่ถณใ—ใฆใ„ใชใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ—ใพใ™ ใ€‚
14:28
Okay?
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ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
14:29
And you have this energy that you want to move and do something, fix something, change something.
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏๅ‹•ใ„ ใฆไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’ใ—ใŸใ„ใ€ไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’ไฟฎๆญฃใ—ใŸใ„ใ€ไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’ๅค‰ใˆใŸใ„ใจใ„ใ†ใ‚จใƒใƒซใ‚ฎใƒผใ‚’ๆŒใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
14:35
You want to do...
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You want to do...
14:36
That's what anger does, it makes you want to do something.
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ใใ‚ŒใŒๆ€’ใ‚Š ใงใ™ใ€‚ไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’ใ—ใŸใใชใ‚‹ใฎใงใ™ใ€‚
14:37
Yeah?
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ใ†ใ‚“๏ผŸ
14:39
"Upset" means you're not happy about it and want to do that.
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"ๅ‹•ๆบ" ใฏใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒใใ‚Œใซๆบ€่ถณใ—ใฆใŠใ‚‰ใšใ€ใใ† ใ—ใŸใ„ใจใ„ใ†ๆ„ๅ‘ณใงใ™ใ€‚
14:41
That's general for men.
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็”ทๆ€งใชใ‚‰ไธ€่ˆฌ็š„ใงใ™ใ€‚
14:44
For women "upset" is a little different, so guys, be careful.
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ๅฅณๆ€งใฎใ€Œๅ‹•ๆบใ€ใฏใกใ‚‡ใฃใจ ้•ใ†ใฎใงใ€็”ทๆ€งใฏๆฐ—ใ‚’ใคใ‘ใฆใ€‚
14:48
If a woman says she's upset, she's sad and angry at the same time.
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ๅฅณๆ€งใŒๅ‹•ๆบใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจ่จ€ใ†ๅ ดๅˆใ€ๅฝผๅฅณ ใฏๅŒๆ™‚ใซๆ‚ฒใ—ใใฆๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™.
14:54
Ladies, you know what I mean.
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ใƒฌใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใƒผใ‚นใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ็งใŒไฝ•ใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ™ใ‚‹ใ‹็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
14:56
I know you're learning English, but you know when you're so angry, but you're sad that
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ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ่‹ฑ่ชžใ‚’ๅญฆใ‚“ใงใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใฏ็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ ใพใ™ใŒใ€ใจใฆใ‚‚ๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใใฏ็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใŒ
15:02
the bunny died in the movie, and you're so upset you want to do something about it?
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ใ€ๆ˜ ็”ปใงใƒใƒ‹ใƒผใŒไบกใใชใฃใŸใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ‚ฒใ—ใ‚“ใงใ„ใฆใ€ใจใฆใ‚‚ ๅ‹•ๆบใ—ใฆใ„ใฆใ€ใใ‚Œใ‚’ใฉใ†ใซใ‹ใ—ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ‹?
15:05
That's dangerous for men because she might hit you.
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ๅฝผๅฅณใŒใ‚ใชใŸใ‚’ๆฎดใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใชใ„ใฎใงใ€ใใ‚Œใฏ็”ทๆ€งใซใจใฃใฆๅฑ้™บใงใ™.
15:08
Yes, she's sad and crying, but she might hit you so keep that in mind.
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ใฏใ„ใ€ๅฝผๅฅณใฏๆ‚ฒใ—ใใฆๆณฃใ„ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใŒใ€ๅฝผๅฅณ ใฏใ‚ใชใŸใ‚’ๆฎดใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใชใ„ใฎใงใ€่ฆšใˆใฆใŠใ„ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„.
15:11
So if a woman says she's really upset about something, go: "Okay, baby, what's wrong?"
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ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€ๅฅณๆ€งใŒไฝ•ใ‹ใซๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ่…นใ‚’็ซ‹ใฆใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจ่จ€ใฃใŸใ‚‰ใ€ใ€Œ ใ‚ชใƒผใ‚ฑใƒผใ€ใƒ™ใ‚คใƒ“ใƒผใ€ใฉใ†ใ—ใŸใฎ๏ผŸใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ใ‚นใ‚คใƒณใ‚ฐ่ท้›ขใฎ
15:15
and take a step back, just out of swinging distance. Okay?
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ใ™ใๅพŒใ‚ใซไธ€ๆญฉ ไธ‹ใŒใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
15:18
Because she'll be crying at you, and she'll have a knife.
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ๅฝผๅฅณใฏใ‚ใชใŸใซๅ‘ใ‹ใฃใฆๆณฃใๅซใณ ใ€ใƒŠใ‚คใƒ•ใ‚’ๆŒใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™ใ€‚
15:20
"I'm so upset, baby."
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ใ€Œ็งใฏใจใฆใ‚‚ๅ‹•ๆบใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€่ตคใกใ‚ƒใ‚“ใ€‚ใ€
15:22
Step back and go:
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ไธ€ๆญฉไธ‹ใŒใฃใฆใ€
15:23
"Why? What's wrong, honey? How can I help? Tell me more." Okay?
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ใ€Œใฉใ†ใ—ใฆ๏ผŸใฉใ†ใ—ใŸใฎใ€ใƒใƒ‹ใƒผ๏ผŸใฉใ†ใ—ใŸใ‚‰ใ„ใ„ใฎ๏ผŸ ใ‚‚ใฃใจๆ•™ใˆใฆใ€ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
15:27
It is a bit of a joke, but that is one of the differences between males and females
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ใกใ‚‡ใฃใจใ—ใŸๅ†—่ซ‡ใงใ™ใŒใ€ใใ‚Œใฏ
15:30
on that particular word in my opinion.
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็งใฎๆ„่ฆ‹ใงใฏใ€ใใฎ็‰นๅฎšใฎๅ˜่ชžใซ้–ขใ™ใ‚‹็”ทๆ€งใจๅฅณๆ€งใฎ้•ใ„ใฎ1ใคใงใ™.
15:32
Okay?
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ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
15:33
Men will be angry, that means they want to change something, they're not happy about
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็”ทๆ€งใฏๆ€’ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ใคใพใ‚Šใ€ไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’ๅค‰ใˆใŸใ„ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚็Šถๆณใซ ๆบ€่ถณใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ›ใ‚“
15:37
a situation.
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ใ€‚
15:38
Women are sad and they still have that anger that they need to do something usually at
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ๅฅณๆ€งใฏๆ‚ฒใ—ใ‚“ใงใ„ใฆใ€ใใฎ็žฌ้–“ใซ้€šๅธธไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ๆ€’ใ‚Šใ‚’ใพใ ๆŒใฃใฆ
15:42
that moment.
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ใ„ใพใ™.
15:43
Is it good or bad?
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ใใ‚Œใฏ่‰ฏใ„ใงใ™ใ‹ๆ‚ชใ„ใงใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ
15:44
No, it just is.
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ใ„ใ„ใˆใ€ใใ†ใงใ™ใ€‚
15:46
"Disappointed".
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"ๆฎ‹ๅฟตใ ใฃใŸ"ใ€‚
15:49
We're often disappointed and we think it's anger because we didn't get what we wanted
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็งใŸใกใฏใ—ใฐใ—ใฐใŒใฃใ‹ใ‚Šใ—ใ€ใใ‚ŒใŒ ๆ€’ใ‚Šใ 
15:53
or we didn't...
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15:54
Someone didn't do what we thought they should do.
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ใจๆ€ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
15:58
So, I'm so angry you didn't bring that money like you were supposed to.
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ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒๆœฌๆฅใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซใใฎใŠ้‡‘ใ‚’ๆŒใฃใฆใ“ใชใ‹ใฃใŸใ“ใจใซใจใฆใ‚‚ๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ ใพใ™ใ€‚
16:02
And what I really mean is: I'm so disappointed because I trusted you and I made plans based
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ใใ—ใฆใ€็งใŒๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ่จ€ใ„ใŸใ„ใฎใฏ
16:07
on my trust in you.
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ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใ‚’ไฟก้ ผใ—ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใธใฎไฟก้ ผใซๅŸบใฅใ„ใฆ่จˆ็”ปใ‚’็ซ‹ใฆใŸใฎใงใ€ใจใฆใ‚‚ใŒใฃใ‹ใ‚Šใ—ใŸใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™.
16:08
Right?
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ๅณ๏ผŸ
16:09
That totally changes it because when you say "disappointed" to me, I'm like:
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ใ‚ใชใŸ ใŒ็งใซใ€ŒใŒใฃใ‹ใ‚Šใ—ใŸใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใจใใ€็งใฏ
16:12
"Oh, how can I make it up?"
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ใ€Œใ‚ใ‚ใ€ใฉใ†ใ‚„ใฃใฆใใ‚Œใ‚’่ฃœใ†ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ‹๏ผŸใ€
16:14
When you say "angry", I'm going to give you a reason why I'm angry too or as well.
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ใ‚ใชใŸใŒใ€Œๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใจใใ€็งใ‚‚ๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹็†็”ฑใ‚’ๆ•™ใˆใฆใ‚ใ’ใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ† ใ€‚
16:19
Okay?
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16:19
So "disappointed" means I didn't get what I wanted.
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ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
ใคใพใ‚Šใ€ใ€ŒใŒใฃใ‹ใ‚Šใ—ใŸใ€ใจ ใฏใ€ๆœ›ใ‚“ใงใ„ใŸใ‚‚ใฎใŒๅพ—ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใชใ‹ใฃใŸใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚
16:22
Maybe you wanted to go to a great university and you go:
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ใŸใถใ‚“ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ็ด ๆ™ดใ‚‰ใ—ใ„ๅคงๅญฆใซ่กŒใใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใฃใฆใ„ใŸใฎใซใ€
16:25
"I'm so angry. Yale said no to me for the fifth time."
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ใ€Œ็งใฏใจใฆใ‚‚ๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ใ‚คใ‚งใƒผใƒซๅคงๅญฆใฏ ็งใซ5ๅบฆ็›ฎใฎใƒŽใƒผใจ่จ€ใฃใŸใฎใงใ™ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
16:28
Well, really I'm disappointed I don't have the marks or there's not an opportunity for
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ใ†ใƒผใ‚“ใ€็‚นๆ•ฐใŒๅ–ใ‚Œใชใ‹ใฃใŸใ‚Šใ€ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ่กŒใใŸใ„ๅญฆๆ กใซ่กŒใ‘ใ‚‹ๆฉŸไผšใŒใชใ‹ใฃใŸใ‚Šใ—ใฆใ€ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซใŒใฃใ‹ใ‚Šใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™
16:32
me to go to a school I really want to go to.
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ใ€‚
16:35
So "disappointed" is not getting something you really want.
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ใคใพใ‚Šใ€ใ€ŒใŒใฃใ‹ใ‚Šใ€ใจใฏใ€ ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซๆฌฒใ—ใ„ใ‚‚ใฎใ‚’ๆ‰‹ใซๅ…ฅใ‚Œใ‚‰ใ‚Œใชใ„ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚ ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซใŒใฃใ‹ใ‚Šใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹
16:38
Sometimes people say they're angry when they're really disappointed.
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ใจใใ€ๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจ่จ€ใ†ไบบใ‚‚ใ„ใพใ™ ใ€‚
16:42
"Confused".
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"ๆททไนฑใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹"ใ€‚ ใ“ใ“ใงๆ„šใ‹ใชไบบใ€…
16:44
I want to make a joke about stupid people here, but I won't.
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ใซใคใ„ใฆๅ†—่ซ‡ใ‚’่จ€ใ„ใŸใ„ใฎใงใ™ ใŒใ€ใ—ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
16:47
But sometimes people are angry because they're confused.
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ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ ๆททไนฑใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ไบบใ‚‚ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
16:49
They don't know what's going on.
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ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏไฝ•ใŒ่ตทใ“ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹็Ÿฅใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
16:51
And remember I kept saying that anger is like this energy you want to use?
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ๆ€’ใ‚Š ใฏใ‚ใชใŸใŒไฝฟใ„ใŸใ„ใ“ใฎใ‚จใƒใƒซใ‚ฎใƒผใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใชใ‚‚ใฎใ ใจ่จ€ใ„็ถšใ‘ใŸใฎใ‚’่ฆšใˆใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ‹?
16:55
Because you want to do something.
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ไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’ใ—ใŸใ„ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™ใ€‚
16:56
Right? Something's not working, you want to do.
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ๅณ๏ผŸ ไฝ•ใ‹ใŒใ†ใพใใ„ใ‹ใชใ„ ใ€ใ‚„ใ‚ŠใŸใ„ใ€‚
16:59
Well, some people get confused and they don't know, so: "Now I'm angry!"
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ใˆใˆใจใ€ๆททไนฑใ— ใฆๅˆ†ใ‹ใ‚‰ใชใ„ไบบใ‚‚ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
17:02
It's like: -"Why?"
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ใใ‚Œใฏๆฌกใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใชใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™๏ผš -ใ€Œใชใœ๏ผŸใ€
17:03
-"Because I'm confused, and I don't know what to do so I got to be something."
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-ใ€Œ็งใฏๆททไนฑใ—ใฆใ„ใฆใ€ ใฉใ†ใ™ใ‚Œใฐใ„ใ„ใฎใ‹ใ‚ใ‹ใ‚‰ใชใ„ใฎใงใ€ไฝ•ใ‹ใซใชใ‚‰ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ใ€
17:07
And it's easier to say I'm angry than confused because "confused" seems to me: Well, speak
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ๆททไนฑใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ใ‚ˆใ‚Šใฏใ€ๆททไนฑใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจ่จ€ใ†ๆ–นใŒ็ฐกๅ˜ใงใ™ใ€‚ ใชใœใชใ‚‰ใ€่ชฐใ‹ใซ่ฉฑใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
17:13
to someone, they can help you and get rid of your confusion, and you won't be angry.
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ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏใ‚ใชใŸใ‚’ๅŠฉใ‘ ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฎๆททไนฑใ‚’ๅ–ใ‚Š้™คใใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚
17:18
Right?
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ๅณ๏ผŸ
17:19
But sometimes people are confused so they say angry.
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ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ ๆททไนฑใ—ใฆๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจ่จ€ใ†ไบบใ‚‚ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
17:24
A perfect example, a family finds out one of their daughters or boys are gay or homosexual.
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ๅฎŒ็’งใชไพ‹ใจใ—ใฆใ€ใ‚ใ‚‹ๅฎถๆ— ใŒๅจ˜ใ‚„็”ทใฎๅญใฎ 1 ไบบใŒๅŒๆ€งๆ„›่€…ใพใŸใฏๅŒๆ€งๆ„›่€…ใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็Ÿฅใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
17:31
They will say they're angry about the situation, when maybe they're confused that they don't
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ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏใใฎ็Šถๆณใซใคใ„ใฆๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจ่จ€ใ† ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
17:35
know how it happened, blah, blah, blah, blah, all these other things, but it comes out as
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ใชใœใชใ‚‰ใ€ใใ‚ŒใŒใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซ่ตทใ“ใฃใŸใฎใ‹ใ‚ใ‹ใ‚‰ใชใ„ใ“ใจใซๆททไนฑใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œ
17:39
anger and it's not necessarily that way.
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ใพใ› ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใใฎๆ–นๆณ•ใ€‚
17:41
Right? Everybody's different.
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ๅณ๏ผŸ ใฟใ‚“ใช้•ใ†ใ€‚
17:45
I put "scared" but I meant to write "stressed".
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ใ€Œๆ€–ใ„ใ€ ใจๆ›ธใใพใ—ใŸใŒใ€ใ€Œใ‚นใƒˆใƒฌใ‚นใ€ใจๆ›ธใใŸใ‹ใฃใŸใฎใงใ™ใ€‚
17:48
Why?
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ใชใ‚“ใง๏ผŸ
17:50
A lot of people, they say they're stressed or they confuse being stressed with being
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ๅคšใใฎไบบใŒใ€ ใ‚นใƒˆใƒฌใ‚นใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€ใพใŸใฏใ‚นใƒˆใƒฌใ‚นใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใจๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆททๅŒใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจ่จ€ใฃใฆใ„
17:54
angry, which means...
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ใพใ™ใ€‚
17:55
Stressed means you have a lot of things going on and you feel like, you know, you've got
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17:59
a lot pressure on you because you're stressed. Right?
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ใ‚ใชใŸใŒใ‚นใƒˆใƒฌใ‚นใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™ใ€‚ ๅณ๏ผŸ
18:02
But usually it's scared.
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ใงใ‚‚ๆ™ฎ้€šใซๆ€–ใ„ใ€‚
18:04
When I'm really stressed or scared...
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ใ™ใ”ใ ็ทŠๅผตใ—ใŸใ‚Šใ€ๆ€–ใŒใฃใŸใ‚Šใ—ใŸใ‚‰โ€ฆ
18:07
Ask a child something.
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ๅญไพ›ใซ่žใ„ใฆใฟใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
18:08
Ask a child why...
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ๅญไพ›ใซ็†็”ฑใ‚’ๅฐ‹ใญใพใ™...
18:11
About the first day of school.
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ๅญฆๆ กใฎๅˆๆ—ฅใซใคใ„ใฆใ€‚
18:12
They won't say they're stressed, they'll say they're scared.
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ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏใ‚นใƒˆใƒฌใ‚นใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใฏ่จ€ใ„ใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒใ€ ๆ€–ใ„ใจ่จ€ใ†ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
18:14
And when you ask them why they're scared they'll say: "I'm scared the other children won't
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ใชใœๆ€–ใŒใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹ใจๅฐ‹ใญใ‚‹ใจใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏ ใ“ใ†่จ€ใ†
18:18
like me, I'm scared it'll be too difficult."
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ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
18:21
If you ask an adult about the same thing, they'll say: -"I'm stressed about the first
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ๅคงไบบใซๅŒใ˜ใ“ใจใ‚’่žใใจใ€ ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏใ“ใ†่จ€ใ†ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†: -ใ€Œ็งใฏๅญฆๆ กใฎๅˆๆ—ฅใซใคใ„ใฆใ‚นใƒˆใƒฌใ‚นใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ„
18:25
day of school." -"Why?"
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ใพใ™ใ€‚ใ€ -"ใฉใ†ใ—ใฆ๏ผŸ"
18:26
-"Because there's just so much going on."
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-ใ€Œใ‚ใพใ‚Šใซใ‚‚ ๅคšใใฎใ“ใจใŒ่ตทใ“ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™ใ€‚ใ€
18:28
And then you go: "What are you stressed about?"
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ใ€Œใ‚ใชใŸ ใฏไฝ•ใซใคใ„ใฆใ‚นใƒˆใƒฌใ‚นใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ‹๏ผŸใ€ใจๅฐ‹ใญใพใ™ใ€‚
18:29
They can't really articulate, and "articulate" means to say or explain.
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ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏๅฎŸ้š›ใซๆ˜Ž็ขบใซ่กจ็พใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏใงใใšใ€ ใ€Œๆ˜Ž็ขบใซใ™ใ‚‹ใ€ใจใฏใ€่จ€ใ†ใ‹่ชฌๆ˜Žใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
18:34
But as soon as they change the word from "stressed" to "scared", suddenly they can tell you:
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ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒใ€Œใ‚นใƒˆใƒฌใ‚นใ€ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€Œๆ€–ใ„ใ€ใซ่จ€่‘‰ใ‚’ๅค‰ใˆใ‚‹ใจใ™ใใซใ€
18:38
"I'm scared of this, I'm scared of this."
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ใ€Œ็งใฏใ“ใ‚ŒใŒๆ€–ใ„ใ€็งใฏใ“ใ‚ŒใŒๆ€–ใ„ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ ใ€‚
18:41
So if you can change that word from "angry", or "stressed" to "scared", you might notice
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ใ—ใŸใŒใฃใฆใ€ใใฎ่จ€่‘‰ใ‚’ใ€Œๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€ ใพใŸใฏใ€Œใ‚นใƒˆใƒฌใ‚นใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€Œๆ€–ใ„ใ€ใซๅค‰ใˆใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚Œใฐใ€ใใ‚Œ
18:46
you're not as stressed and you're relaxed once you get it out. Okay?
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ใ‚’ๅใๅ‡บใ™ใจใ‚นใƒˆใƒฌใ‚นใŒๆธ›ใ‚Šใ€ใƒชใƒฉใƒƒใ‚ฏใ‚นใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใซๆฐ—ไป˜ใใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ› ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
18:51
"Frustrated".
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ใ€Œๆฌฒๆฑ‚ไธๆบ€ใ€ใ€‚
18:53
"Frustrated", "angry", same, right?
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ใ€Œใ‚คใƒฉใ‚คใƒฉใ€ใ€ ใ€Œๆ€’ใ‚Šใ€ใ€ๅŒใ˜ใงใ™ใ‚ˆใญ๏ผŸ
18:55
No. "Angry" is that energy to move.
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ใ„ใ„ใˆใ€ใ€Œๆ€’ใ‚Šใ€ใฏใใฎ ๅ‹•ใใ‚จใƒใƒซใ‚ฎใƒผใงใ™ใ€‚
18:57
"Frustrated" is you're not getting what you want.
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ใ€Œๆฌฒๆฑ‚ไธๆบ€ใ€ใจใฏใ€ ๆฌฒใ—ใ„ใ‚‚ใฎใŒๆ‰‹ใซๅ…ฅใ‚‰ใชใ„ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚
18:59
It's not the same as "disappointed".
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ใ€ŒใŒใฃใ‹ใ‚Šใ€ใจใฏ้•ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
19:02
Something's stopping you from getting what you want.
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ไฝ•ใ‹ใŒ ใ‚ใชใŸใŒๆœ›ใ‚€ใ‚‚ใฎใ‚’ๆ‰‹ใซๅ…ฅใ‚Œใ‚‹ใฎใ‚’ๅฆจใ’ใฆใ„ใพใ™.
19:04
If I were trying to leave this room, and I can't get out of the room...
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ใ‚‚ใ—็งใŒใ“ใฎ้ƒจๅฑ‹ใ‚’ๅ‡บใ‚ˆใ†ใจใ—ใฆใ„ใฆใ€้ƒจๅฑ‹ใ‹ใ‚‰ ๅ‡บใ‚‰ใ‚Œใชใ„ใฎใชใ‚‰โ€ฆ
19:09
I'm trying.
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็งใฏใ—ใ‚ˆใ†ใจใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
19:10
I'm going to start getting frustrated.
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็งใฏๆฌฒๆฑ‚ไธๆบ€ใซใชใ‚Šๅง‹ใ‚ใ‚‹ใคใ‚‚ใ‚Šใงใ™ ใ€‚
19:11
Now, some people might go: "[Roars] Hulk Smash."
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ใ•ใฆใ€ ใ€Œ[Roars] Hulk Smashใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ไบบใ‚‚ใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
19:15
I'm getting frustrated because I want to go and I can't go.
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่กŒใใŸใใฆใ‚‚่กŒใ‘ใชใใฆใ‚คใƒฉใ‚คใƒฉใ™ใ‚‹ใ€‚
19:18
And then I go: "Frustrated, okay. Yeah, I'm frustrated because I can't get out when I want to get out."
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ใใ—ใฆใ€็งใฏใ“ใ†่จ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
19:24
That doesn't mean I'm angry.
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ใใ‚Œใฏ็งใŒๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ๆ„ๅ‘ณใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
19:25
Angry at what?
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ไฝ•ใซๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ
19:26
What is this angry thing, right?
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ใ“ใฎๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏไฝ•ใงใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ
19:28
That means I'm trying and I'm not getting it, so I'm frustrated.
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ใคใพใ‚Šใ€็งใฏๅŠชๅŠ›ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ ใฎใซใ€ใใ‚ŒใŒๅพ—ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใชใ„ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ€ใ‚คใƒฉใ‚คใƒฉใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
19:31
It's stopping me.
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ใใ‚Œใฏ็งใ‚’ๆญขใ‚ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
19:33
"Anxious".
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"ๆฐ—ใซใชใ‚‹"ใ€‚
19:35
Some people get angry about things because they're really anxious, they're worried, and
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ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซไธๅฎ‰ใงใ€ๅฟƒ้…ใ—ใฆใ„ใฆใ€
19:39
it seems so scary and you're so weak to say you're worried, but then there's nothing wrong
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ใจใฆใ‚‚ๆ€–ใ„ใ‚ˆใ†ใงใ€ๅฟƒ้…ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจ่จ€ใ†ใฎใŒใจใฆใ‚‚ๅผฑใ„ใฎใงใ€็‰ฉไบ‹ใซ่…นใ‚’็ซ‹ใฆใ‚‹ไบบ ใ‚‚ใ„ใพใ™ใŒใ€ๅฟƒ้…ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจ่จ€ใ†ใฎใฏไฝ•ใ‚‚ๆ‚ชใ„ใ“ใจ
19:44
with saying you're worried.
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ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“.
19:45
Right?
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ๅณ๏ผŸ
19:46
You're afraid of it.
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใใ‚Œใ‚’ๆใ‚Œใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
19:47
But "worry" means to think about the future and not to have control, and you think about
387
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ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ใ€Œๅฟƒ้…ใ™ใ‚‹ใ€ใจใฏใ€ๆœชๆฅใซใคใ„ใฆ่€ƒใˆใ€ ใ‚ณใƒณใƒˆใƒญใƒผใƒซใงใใชใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณ
19:51
all the things that can happen in the future, and you're worried that a lot of them are
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ใ—ใ€ๅฐ†ๆฅ่ตทใ“ใ‚‹ๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใฎใ‚ใ‚‹ใ™ในใฆใฎใ“ใจใ‚’่€ƒใˆ ใ€ใใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎๅคšใใŒ
19:55
bad and they can hurt you.
389
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ๆ‚ชใ„ใ‚‚ใฎใงใ‚ใ‚Šใ€่‡ชๅˆ†ใ‚’ๅ‚ทใคใ‘ใ‚‹ๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๅฟƒ้…ใ—ใพใ™.
19:57
And that leads to being anxious about: What can happen next?
390
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ใใ‚Œใฏไธๅฎ‰ใซใคใชใŒใ‚Šใพใ™ : ๆฌกใซไฝ•ใŒ่ตทใ“ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ‹?
19:59
What can happen in the future?
391
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ๅฐ†ๆฅไฝ•ใŒ่ตทใ“ใ‚‹ๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€งใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ
20:02
Once you worry... Worry.
392
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ๅฟƒ้…ใ—ใŸใ‚‰โ€ฆ ๅฟƒ้…ใ€‚
20:03
[Laughs] Once you realize you're worried and you're anxious, you can let it go because
393
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(็ฌ‘) ่‡ชๅˆ†ใŒๅฟƒ้…ใ— ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚„ไธๅฎ‰ใซๆ€ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใซๆฐ—ใฅใ„ใŸใ‚‰ใ€ใใ‚Œใ‚’ๆ‰‹ๆ”พใ™ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™
20:08
99% of those things are never going to happen.
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ใ€‚
20:11
So, confusing anger, you're angry about this or the possible future and anxious starts
395
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ใงใ™ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€ๆ€’ใ‚Šใ‚’ๆททไนฑใ•ใ›ใพใ™ใ€‚ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใ€ใ“ใฎใ“ใจ ใ‚„ๅฐ†ๆฅใฎๅฏ่ƒฝๆ€ง
20:16
getting kind of crazy.
396
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ใซใคใ„ใฆๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
20:18
Okay?
397
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ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
20:19
And "overwhelmed" means you have too much happening, too much work, too much pressure,
398
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ใใ—ใฆใ€Œๅœงๅ€’ใ•ใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ€ใจใฏใ€ใ‚ใพใ‚Šใซใ‚‚ๅคšใใฎ ๅ‡บๆฅไบ‹ใ€ใ‚ใพใ‚Šใซใ‚‚ๅคšใใฎไป•ไบ‹ใ€ใ‚ใพใ‚Šใซใ‚‚ๅคšใใฎใƒ—ใƒฌใƒƒใ‚ทใƒฃใƒผใ€
20:23
too much...
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ใ‚ใพใ‚Šใซใ‚‚ๅคšใใฎใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ—ใพใ™...
20:24
It's way too much, you cannot deal with it, cannot handle, cannot do it, so you're overwhelmed.
400
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ใใ‚Œใฏใ‚ใพใ‚Šใซใ‚‚ๅคšใใ€ๅฏพๅ‡ฆใงใใšใ€ๅ‡ฆ็†ใงใใšใ€ๅฎŸ่กŒใงใใš ใ€ๅœงๅ€’ใ•ใ‚Œใพใ™.
20:28
Some of you get overwhelmed when I speak because I speak so fast.
401
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็งใŒ่ฉฑใ™ใฎใŒๆ—ฉใ™ใŽใ‚‹ใฎใงใ€็งใŒ่ฉฑใ™ใจๅœงๅ€’ใ•ใ‚Œใ‚‹ไบบใ‚‚ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
20:31
You put it on and: "[Mumbles]."
402
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใใ‚Œใ‚’็€ใฆใ€ใ€Œ[Mumbles].ใ€
20:34
You go: "[Gasps]."
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ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ่กŒใ๏ผšใ€Œ[ใ‚ใˆใŽ]ใ€ใ€‚
20:36
And you need to walk away from the screen.
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ใใ—ใฆใ€็”ป้ขใ‹ใ‚‰้›ขใ‚Œใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ ใ€‚
20:38
Right?
405
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ๅณ๏ผŸ
20:39
You can't even turn it off.
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ใ‚ชใƒ•ใซใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ•ใˆใงใใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
20:40
I'm overwhelmed by his voice.
407
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็งใฏๅฝผใฎๅฃฐใซๅœงๅ€’ใ•ใ‚Œใพใ™ใ€‚
20:42
Too much, too much, too much.
408
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ๅคšใ™ใŽใ‚‹ใ€ๅคšใ™ใŽใ‚‹ใ€ๅคšใ™ใŽใ‚‹ใ€‚
20:44
And I'm giving you all these words because if you talk about being angry with someone
409
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ใใ—ใฆใ€็งใŒใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใ™ในใฆใฎ่จ€่‘‰ใ‚’ใ‚ใชใŸใซไธŽใˆ ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใฏใ€่ชฐใ‹ใ‚„ไฝ•ใ‹ใซๅฏพใ—ใฆๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ™ใจใ€
20:48
or something what happens is you don't communicate.
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ใ‚ณใƒŸใƒฅใƒ‹ใ‚ฑใƒผใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใŒๅ–ใ‚Œใชใใชใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™.
20:52
Remember I talked about this energy you need to do something?
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ไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซๅฟ…่ฆใชใ“ใฎใ‚จใƒใƒซใ‚ฎใƒผใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ—ใŸใ“ใจใ‚’่ฆšใˆใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ
20:54
You want to smash, you want to tell them, you want to force them, you want to change
412
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ๅฉใใฎใ‚ใ—ใŸใ„ใ€ ่จ€ใ„ใŸใ„ใ€ๅผทๅˆถใ—ใŸใ„ใ€ๅค‰ใˆ
20:57
them, you want them to do something because of that.
413
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ใŸใ„ใ€ใใฎใŸใ‚ใซไฝ•ใ‹ใ—ใฆใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใ„ใŸใ„ ใ€‚
21:00
But once you can let it go and just realize: "Look, I'm sorry, I'm just a little scared
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ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ใ„ใฃใŸใ‚“ใใ‚Œใ‚’ๆ‰‹ๆ”พใ—ใฆ ใ€ใ€Œใปใ‚‰ใ€
21:04
right now because I'm anxious about what will happen on Monday.
415
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ใ”ใ‚ใ‚“ใชใ•ใ„ใ€‚ๆœˆๆ›œๆ—ฅใซไฝ•ใŒ่ตทใ“ใ‚‹ใ‹ๅฟƒ้…ใชใฎใงใ€ไปŠใฏๅฐ‘ใ—ๆ€–ใ„ใ ใ‘ใงใ™ใ€‚
21:07
I'm worried about it", that energy's gone and you can use it to actually make better
416
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ๅฟƒ้…ใงใ™ใ€ใจๆฐ—ใฅใใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ ใชใใชใ‚Š ใ€ๅฎŸ้š›ใซใใ‚Œใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จใ—ใฆใ‚ˆใ‚Š่‰ฏใ„ใ‚ณใƒŸใƒฅใƒ‹ใ‚ฑใƒผใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใ‚’่กŒใ†ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™
21:12
communication.
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ใ€‚
21:13
So, yes, an ESL lesson, I've given you some definitions for some words that will help
418
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ใฏใ„ใ€ESL ใฎใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใงใ™ใ€‚่‡ชๅˆ†ใ‚’่กจ็พ ใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใซๅฝน็ซ‹ใคใ„ใใคใ‹ใฎๅ˜่ชžใฎๅฎš็พฉใ‚’็คบใ—ใพใ—ใŸ
21:19
you express yourself, but it's also kind of a human lesson. Right?
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ใŒใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ ไธ€็จฎใฎไบบ้–“็š„ใชใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใงใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ๅณ๏ผŸ
21:23
So, let's go and see how well you have mastered your humanity or your anger.
420
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ใใ‚Œใงใฏใ€่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎไบบ้–“ๆ€งใ‚„ๆ€’ใ‚Šใ‚’ใฉใ‚Œใ ใ‘ใ†ใพใใƒžใ‚นใ‚ฟใƒผใ—ใŸใ‹่ฆ‹ใฆใฟใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ† ใ€‚
21:28
All right? Your inner Hulk, let's say.
421
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ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ใ‚ใชใŸใฎๅ†…ใชใ‚‹ ใƒใƒซใ‚ฏใจใ—ใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
21:30
Now let's start with the first quiz question:
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ใใ‚Œใงใฏ ๆœ€ๅˆใฎใ‚ฏใ‚คใ‚บใฎ่ณชๅ•ใ‹ใ‚‰ๅง‹ใ‚
21:33
"I'm __________.
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21:36
I don't want to admit it, but I'm really afraid of..."
424
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21:41
Please don't tell me you're confused because what you're going to do if you don't remember
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ใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚ ่ฆšใˆใฆใ„ใชใ„ๅ ดๅˆ
21:44
the answer is rewind the video.
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ใฎ็ญ”ใˆใฏใ€ใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใ‚’ๅทปใๆˆปใ™ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚
21:47
Go back a minute or two, and you'll see the answer was already given to you.
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1ใ€2 ๅˆ†ๅ‰ใซๆˆปใ‚‹ใจ ใ€็ญ”ใˆใŒๆ—ขใซไธŽใˆใ‚‰ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใ‚ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
21:51
It's one of the statements I gave you just to help you remember.
428
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ใ“ใ‚Œใฏใ€ ใ‚ใชใŸใŒๆ€ใ„ๅ‡บใ™ใฎใ‚’ๅŠฉใ‘ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซ็งใŒใ‚ใชใŸใซไธŽใˆใŸๅฃฐๆ˜Žใฎ 1 ใคใงใ™ใ€‚
21:54
You ready?
429
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใ€œใ‚’็”จๆ„ใ™ใ‚‹๏ผŸ
22:01
That's right,
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ใใ†ใงใ™ใ€
22:06
you're scared.
431
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏๆ€–ใ„ใงใ™ใ€‚
22:09
Why?
432
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ใชใ‚“ใง๏ผŸ
22:10
We just talked about being angry is one of the worst words you can use all the time.
433
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ๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใฏใ€ๅธธใซไฝฟ็”จใงใใ‚‹ๆœ€ๆ‚ชใฎ่จ€่‘‰ใฎ 1 ใคใงใ™ใ€‚
22:14
We want to improve your vocabulary, so we don't want to say: "I'm angry.
434
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็งใŸใกใฏใ‚ใชใŸใฎ่ชžๅฝ™ใ‚’ๆ”นๅ–„ใ—ใŸใ„ ใฎใงใ€ใ€Œ็งใฏๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€‚
22:18
I don't want to admit it", it doesn't make any sense.
435
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่ชใ‚ใŸใใชใ„ใ€ใจ ่จ€ใ„ใŸใใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ๆ„ๅ‘ณใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
22:20
You'd have to be angry about something.
436
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ไฝ•ใ‹ใซๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฏใš ใงใ™ใ€‚
22:23
But: "I'm scared, and I don't want to admit I'm afraid."
437
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ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ใ€Œ็งใฏๆ€–ใ„ ใงใ™ใ€‚็งใฏ่‡ชๅˆ†ใŒๆ€–ใ„ใจ่ชใ‚ใŸใใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ใ€
22:26
These two words are synonyms, so it's saying:
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ใ“ใฎ 2 ใคใฎๅ˜่ชžใฏ ๅŒ็พฉ่ชžใชใฎใง
22:28
"Hey, look. I really am afraid."
439
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ใ€ใ€Œใญใˆใ€ใปใ‚‰ใ€ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซๆ€–ใ„ใ‚ˆใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ™ใ€‚
22:30
I'm saying it twice to you, so maybe you can listen to me because I'm afraid.
440
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2ๅ›ž่จ€ใ†ใ‹ใ‚‰ ๆ€–ใ„ใ‹ใ‚‰่žใ„ใฆใใ‚Œใ€‚
22:34
Cool?
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22:34
All right.
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ๆถผใ—ใ„๏ผŸ
ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸใ€‚
22:35
Let's do the next one:
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ๆฌกใฎ
22:37
"I feel __________ at work because I have so much to do, and I have more and more work to do all the time."
444
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่ณชๅ• ใซๅ–ใ‚Š็ต„ใฟใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
22:50
If "disappointed" means you're not getting what you want-right?-then what I'm thinking
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ใ‚‚ใ—ใ€Œๅคฑๆœ›ใ€ใŒใ‚ใชใŸใŒๆœ›ใ‚€ใ‚‚ใฎใ‚’ๆ‰‹ใซๅ…ฅใ‚Œใฆใ„ใชใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ™ใ‚‹ใชใ‚‰ ใ€็งใŒ่€ƒใˆใฆใ„ใ‚‹
22:56
of is
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ใฎใฏ
22:59
"overwhelmed". Right?
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ใ€Œๅœงๅ€’ใ•ใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ€ใ“ใจใงใ™. ๅณ๏ผŸ
23:00
Overwhelmed.
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ๅœงๅ€’ใ™ใ‚‹ใ€‚
23:01
Think of a wave coming over you, crashing over you.
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ๆณขใŒใ‚ใชใŸใฎไธŠใซๆฅใฆใ€ ใ‚ใชใŸใฎไธŠใซ่ก็ชใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’่€ƒใˆใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
23:03
You're overwhelmed.
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏๅœงๅ€’ใ•ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
23:04
You have too much.
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏๅคšใ™ใŽใพใ™ใ€‚
23:07
Right? So we're overwhelmed.
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ๅณ๏ผŸ ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰็งใŸใกใฏๅœงๅ€’ใ•ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
23:10
"You have a __________ point."
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ใ€Œใ‚ใชใŸใฏ __________ ใƒใ‚คใƒณใƒˆใ‚’ๆŒใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ใ€
23:13
If you've ever watched the X-Men, there's Wolverine, and Wolverine has like sharp claws.
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X-ใƒกใƒณใ‚’่ฆ‹ใŸใ“ใจใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใชใ‚‰ ใ€ใ‚ฆใƒซใƒดใ‚กใƒชใƒณใŒใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ใ‚ฆใƒซใƒดใ‚กใƒชใƒณใฏ้‹ญใ„็ˆชใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใงใ™.
23:18
He could probably make a good point, but I want you to figure out which one's correct:
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ๅฝผใฏใŠใใ‚‰ใ่‰ฏใ„็‚นใ‚’ๆŒ‡ๆ‘˜ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใŒใ€ ใฉใกใ‚‰ใŒๆญฃใ—ใ„ใ‹ใ‚’็†่งฃใ—ใฆใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใ„ใŸใ„ใงใ™:
23:22
sharp or good?
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้‹ญใ„ใ‹่‰ฏใ„ใ‹?
23:28
That's right.
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ใใ‚Œใฏๆญฃใ—ใ„ใ€‚
23:29
This one is from the first points I was saying to let someone know that you care.
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ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒๆฐ—ใซใ‹ใ‘ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’่ชฐใ‹ใซ็Ÿฅใ‚‰ใ›ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซ็งใŒ่จ€ใฃใฆใ„ใŸๆœ€ๅˆใฎใƒใ‚คใƒณใƒˆใ‹ใ‚‰ใฎใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™.
23:33
You want to tell them you had a good point.
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏๅฝผใ‚‰ใซ ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ่‰ฏใ„็‚นใ‚’ๆŒใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ไผใˆใŸใ„.
23:37
Remember?
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23:37
Show I care about what we're talking about, I care about you and our relationship.
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่ฆšใˆใฆ๏ผŸ
็งใŸใกใŒ่ฉฑใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจ ใ‚’ๆฐ—ใซใ‹ใ‘ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใจ็งใŸใกใฎ้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’ๆฐ—ใซใ‹ใ‘ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็คบใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„.
23:42
And finally:
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ใใ—ใฆๆœ€ๅพŒใซใ€
23:43
"I'm _________ because I didn't get into my favourite university."
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ใ€Œ็งใฏๅฅฝใใชๅคงๅญฆใซๅ…ฅๅญฆใงใใชใ‹ใฃใŸใฎใง__________ใงใ™ ใ€‚ใ€
23:47
What do you think that would be?
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ใใ‚Œใฏไฝ•ใ ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ
23:57
Well, I know you're thinking, and you're right, it could be you're angry, but once again we
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ใˆใˆใจใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ่€ƒใˆใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใฏใ‚ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ใใฎ้€šใ‚Š ใงใ™ใ€‚ๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒใ€ใ‚‚ใ†ไธ€ๅบฆ
24:02
were trying to improve our vocabulary, and if you notice here I said sometimes you go
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็งใŸใกใฏ่ชžๅฝ™ใ‚’ๆ”นๅ–„ใ—ใ‚ˆใ†ใจใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ ใ“ใ“ใซๆฐ—ใฅใ„ใŸใ‚‰ใ€ๆ™‚ใ€…
24:06
here and we want to say this because I said you're upset, meaning you're sad that something
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ใ“ใ“ใซ่กŒใฃใฆ่จ€ใ„ใŸใ„ใจ่จ€ใฃใŸใฎใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ“ใ‚Œใฏใ€ ใ‚ใชใŸใŒๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจ่จ€ใฃใŸใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™ใ€‚ใคใพใ‚Šใ€ไฝ•ใ‹ใŒ่ตทใ“ใฃใŸใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ‚ฒใ—ใ‚“ใงใ„ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™
24:13
has happened.
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24:13
And I would be upset if I didn't get into my favourite university, right?
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ใ€‚
ใใ—ใฆใ€ๅฅฝใใชๅคงๅญฆใซๅ—ใ‹ใ‚‰ใชใ‹ใฃใŸใ‚‰่…น็ซ‹ใŸใ—ใ„ใงใ™ใ‚ˆ ใญ๏ผŸ
24:18
So I think you would be, too.
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ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ‚ใชใŸใ‚‚ใใ†ใ ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
24:20
Anyway, look, I hope you've enjoyed the lesson on how to...
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ใจใซใ‹ใใ€่ฆ‹ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€ ๆ–นๆณ•ใซใคใ„ใฆใฎใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใ‚’ๆฅฝใ—ใ‚“ใงใ„ใŸใ ใ‘ใ‚Œใฐๅนธใ„ใงใ™...
24:24
It's not argue fairly, but argue in a way that makes your relationships better.
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ใใ‚Œใฏๅ…ฌๆญฃใช่ญฐ่ซ–ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ ใŒใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฎ้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’ใ‚ˆใ‚Š่‰ฏใใ™ใ‚‹ๆ–นๆณ•ใง่ญฐ่ซ–ใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„.
24:28
And trust me, you're going to need this because as you get better at English you're going
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ใใ—ใฆ็งใ‚’ไฟกใ˜ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ ่‹ฑ่ชžใŒไธŠๆ‰‹ใซใชใ‚‹ใซใคใ‚Œใฆใ€
24:32
to find that there are a lot of people who don't agree with everything you think, and
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฎ่€ƒใˆใ™ในใฆใซๅŒๆ„ใ—ใชใ„ไบบใŒใŸใใ•ใ‚“ใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใซ
24:36
vice versa.
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ๆฐ—ไป˜ใใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†.
24:37
I mean, you won't agree with everything they think.
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ใคใพใ‚Šใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฎ่€ƒใˆใ™ในใฆใซๅŒๆ„ใ™ใ‚‹ใ‚ใ‘ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ ใ€‚
24:40
And this is one of the best way to maintain your relationships.
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใฏใ‚ใชใŸใฎ้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚’็ถญๆŒใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใฎๆœ€่‰ฏใฎๆ–นๆณ•ใฎ1ใคใงใ™ .
24:43
So, what I want...
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ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€็งใฏไฝ•ใ‚’ใ—ใŸใ„.
24:44
Where do I want you to go?
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ใฉใ“ใซ่กŒใใŸใ„ใงใ™ใ‹?
24:45
Well, to www, right?
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ใˆใ€wwwใธใญ๏ผŸ
24:49
.eng as in English, vid as in video.com (www.engvid.com)
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.eng ใฏ่‹ฑ่ชžใงใ€vid ใฏ video.com (www.engvid.com)
24:53
where you can do the rest of the quizzes.
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ใงใ€ๆฎ‹ใ‚Šใฎใ‚ฏใ‚คใ‚บใ‚’่กŒใ†ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ ใ€‚
24:55
And before I say we go, I would like you to make sure you hit subscribe, and it's somewhere around here.
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ใใ—ใฆใ€็งใŸใกใŒ่กŒใใจ่จ€ใ†ๅ‰ใซใ€ ่ณผ่ชญใ‚’ๆŠผใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ใใ‚Œใฏใ“ใฎใ‚ใŸใ‚Šใฎใฉใ“ใ‹ใซใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™.
25:02
I never really know, but hit subscribe, depending on where it is on your screen.
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ใ‚ˆใใ‚ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒ ใ€็”ป้ขไธŠใฎใฉใ“ใซใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‹ใซๅฟœใ˜ใฆใ€่ณผ่ชญใ‚’ๆŠผใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
25:06
And as always, thank you very much for watching.
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ใใ—ใฆใ€ใ„ใคใ‚‚ใ”่ฆงใ„ใŸใ ใ่ช ใซใ‚ใ‚ŠใŒใจใ†ใ”ใ–ใ„ใพใ™ ใ€‚ ๆฌกใฎใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใงใŠ
25:08
I look forward to seeing you at our next video.
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ไผšใ„ใงใใ‚‹ใฎใ‚’ๆฅฝใ—ใฟใซใ—ใฆใ„ ใพใ™ใ€‚
25:11
Have a good one.
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่‰ฏใ„ใ‚‚ใฎใ‚’ๆŒใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€‚
ใ“ใฎใ‚ฆใ‚งใƒ–ใ‚ตใ‚คใƒˆใซใคใ„ใฆ

ใ“ใฎใ‚ตใ‚คใƒˆใงใฏ่‹ฑ่ชžๅญฆ็ฟ’ใซๅฝน็ซ‹ใคYouTubeๅ‹•็”ปใ‚’็ดนไป‹ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ไธ–็•Œไธญใฎไธ€ๆต่ฌ›ๅธซใซใ‚ˆใ‚‹่‹ฑ่ชžใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใ‚’่ฆ‹ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ๅ„ใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใฎใƒšใƒผใ‚ธใซ่กจ็คบใ•ใ‚Œใ‚‹่‹ฑ่ชžๅญ—ๅน•ใ‚’ใƒ€ใƒ–ใƒซใ‚ฏใƒชใƒƒใ‚ฏใ™ใ‚‹ใจใ€ใใ“ใ‹ใ‚‰ใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใ‚’ๅ†็”Ÿใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ๅญ—ๅน•ใฏใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใฎๅ†็”ŸใจๅŒๆœŸใ—ใฆใ‚นใ‚ฏใƒญใƒผใƒซใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ใ”ๆ„่ฆ‹ใƒปใ”่ฆๆœ›ใŒใ”ใ–ใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ‚‰ใ€ใ“ใกใ‚‰ใฎใŠๅ•ใ„ๅˆใ‚ใ›ใƒ•ใ‚ฉใƒผใƒ ใ‚ˆใ‚Šใ”้€ฃ็ตกใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚

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