How to change a fight into a discussion

158,438 views ใƒป 2016-11-19

ENGLISH with James


์•„๋ž˜ ์˜๋ฌธ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ”ํด๋ฆญํ•˜์‹œ๋ฉด ์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋ฒˆ์—ญ๋œ ์ž๋ง‰์€ ๊ธฐ๊ณ„ ๋ฒˆ์—ญ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.

00:01
Why are you so angry all the time, E?
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์™œ ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ํ•ญ์ƒ ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚˜์žˆ์–ด , E?
00:02
You're like smash, relax.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์Šค๋งค์‹œ ๊ฐ™์•„์š”, ๊ธด์žฅ์„ ํ‘ธ์„ธ์š”.
00:05
You're not the Incredible...
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ธํฌ๋ ˆ๋”๋ธ”์ด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค...
00:06
Hi. James from engVid.
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์•ˆ๋…•ํ•˜์„ธ์š”. engVid์˜ ์ œ์ž„์Šค.
00:09
E's turning green, and I know The Avengers are all over the planet, so I'm sure you know
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E๊ฐ€ ๋…น์ƒ‰์œผ๋กœ ๋ณ€ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๊ณ  Avengers๊ฐ€ ์ „ ์„ธ๊ณ„์— ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ๊ณ  ์žˆ์œผ๋ฏ€๋กœ
00:14
Hulk Smash.
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Hulk Smash๋ฅผ ์•Œ๊ณ  ๊ณ„์‹ค ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:17
And the Incredible Hulk is powerful because he's angry, he's always angry.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ธํฌ๋ ˆ๋”๋ธ” ํ—ํฌ๋Š” ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ด๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๊ฐ•๋ ฅํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋Š” ํ•ญ์ƒ ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋ƒ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:23
And the funny thing is I find most people are angry about this, angry about that.
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์žฌ๋ฏธ์žˆ๋Š” ์ ์€ ๋Œ€๋ถ€๋ถ„์˜ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ์ด๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋ถ„๋…ธํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:29
So I want to help you today do a little better, because when people are fighting, well, they're
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ €๋Š” ์˜ค๋Š˜ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ์กฐ๊ธˆ ๋” ์ž˜ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋„๋ก ๋•๊ณ  ์‹ถ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์™œ๋ƒํ•˜๋ฉด ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ์‹ธ์šธ ๋•Œ ๊ทธ๋“ค์€
00:35
fighting because they care.
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๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์‹ธ์šฐ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:36
If you didn't care, you wouldn't fight with anyone.
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๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์ƒ๊ด€ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋Š”๋‹ค๋ฉด, ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋ˆ„๊ตฌ์™€๋„ ์‹ธ์šฐ์ง€ ์•Š์„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:39
And I have a two-part lesson...
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋‘ ๋ถ€๋ถ„์œผ๋กœ ๋œ ์ˆ˜์—…์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค...
00:40
What I mean by two parts is I'm going to start off by giving you some expressions so you
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๋‘ ๋ถ€๋ถ„์œผ๋กœ ์˜๋ฏธํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์‹ธ์›€์„ ์ œ๊ฑฐํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋„๋ก ๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ํ‘œํ˜„์„ ์ œ๊ณตํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์œผ๋กœ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:45
can kind of get rid of the fighting, and then I'm going to give you some vocabulary you
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00:50
can use instead of saying:
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00:51
"I'm angry. I'm angry. I'm so angry."
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"๋‚˜ ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚ฌ์–ด. ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚ฌ์–ด. ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚ฌ์–ด."
00:54
There are other words that really let people know what you mean, and you can use some of
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๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์˜๋ฏธํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ”๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ์•Œ๋ ค์ฃผ๋Š” ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋‹จ์–ด๋“ค์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ด ๋‹จ์–ด๋“ค ์ค‘ ์ผ๋ถ€๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ณ 
00:59
these words and the phrases I'm going to teach you, and you'll notice that your interactions
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์ œ๊ฐ€ ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์ณ ๋“œ๋ฆด ๊ตฌ๋ฌธ์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๋ฉด ์ƒํ˜ธ ์ž‘์šฉ
01:03
or the way you talk to each other will change and you'll probably be a lot happier, and
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์ด๋‚˜ ์„œ๋กœ ๋Œ€ํ™”ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐฉ์‹์ด ๋ณ€ํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์•„๋งˆ ํ›จ์”ฌ ๋” ํ–‰๋ณตํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ด๊ณ 
01:08
not like E. E Smash, so angry, so angry. All right?
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E.E ์Šค๋งค์‰ฌ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ํ™”๋‚˜๊ณ  ํ™”๋‚˜์ง€ ์•Š์„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€?
01:13
So let's go to the board.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿผ ๊ฒŒ์‹œํŒ์œผ๋กœ ๊ฐ€๋ณด๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:14
So what did I tell you here?
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ ๋ญ๋ผ๊ณ  ํ–ˆ์ง€?
01:16
Okay? I want us to stop the fighting.
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์ข‹์•„์š”? ๋‚˜๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์‹ธ์›€์„ ๋ฉˆ์ถ”๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์›ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:18
And how are we going to do that?
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
01:20
Well, the first thing we have to do is accept that...
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์Œ, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•  ์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ์ผ์€ ...
01:24
Or accept that arguments and fighting are a part of life, and as I said, it's because
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์•„๋‹ˆ๋ฉด ๋…ผ์Ÿ๊ณผ ์‹ธ์›€์ด ์‚ถ์˜ ์ผ๋ถ€๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ฐ›์•„๋“ค์ด๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
01:28
you care.
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.
01:29
You fight because something is important to you, or someone is fighting with you because
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ์ค‘์š”ํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์‹ธ์šฐ ๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ์ค‘์š”ํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๋‹น์‹ ๊ณผ ์‹ธ์šฐ๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
01:33
something is important to them.
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.
01:35
And when you don't take the time to understand it's important to them, that's what makes
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด ๊ทธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ์ค‘์š”ํ•˜๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ดํ•ดํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ ์‹œ๊ฐ„์„ ๋“ค์ด์ง€ ์•Š์„ ๋•Œ , ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด
01:41
the fight worse.
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์‹ธ์›€์„ ์•…ํ™”์‹œํ‚ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:42
Half of the times things can be resolved or solved or fixed easily if you just go:
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01:48
"Hey, that bothers you? Got it."
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"์ด๋ด, ๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ๊ท€์ฐฎ์•„? ์•Œ์•˜์–ด."
01:52
Once most people hear that, they're willing to talk to you.
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๋Œ€๋ถ€๋ถ„์˜ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ๊ทธ ๋ง์„ ๋“ค์œผ๋ฉด ๊ธฐ๊บผ์ด ๋‹น์‹ ๊ณผ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:55
But if they don't think they're being heard, they smash, they hit hard.
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๋“ค๋ฆฌ์ง€ ์•Š๋Š”๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋ฉด ๋ถ€์ˆ˜๊ณ  ์„ธ๊ฒŒ ๋•Œ๋ฆฝ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:00
So let's go to the board.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿผ ๊ฒŒ์‹œํŒ์œผ๋กœ ๊ฐ€๋ณด๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:02
Okay, so I'm going to give you two types of phrases.
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์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‘ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์œ ํ˜•์˜ ๋ฌธ๊ตฌ๋ฅผ ์•Œ๋ ค๋“œ๋ฆฌ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:05
Okay?
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์ข‹์•„์š”?
02:06
These will help you...
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์ด๊ฒƒ๋“ค์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์„ ๋„์šธ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค...
02:07
One will help you let the other person know that you care and you're listening, the other
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ํ•˜๋‚˜๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์—๊ฒŒ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ด€์‹ฌ์„ ๊ฐ–๊ณ  ์žˆ๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋“ฃ๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ๋„๋ก ๋„์™€์ค„ ๊ฒƒ์ด๊ณ , ๋‹ค๋ฅธ
02:11
one is so that you can express yourself.
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ํ•˜๋‚˜๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์ž์‹ ์„ ํ‘œํ˜„ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋„๋ก ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
02:14
Okay?
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02:14
Because it's important that you have a voice and you should be heard.
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์ข‹์•„์š”? ๋ชฉ์†Œ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ
๋‚ด๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ค‘์š”ํ•˜๊ณ  ๋“ค์–ด์•ผ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:18
And then in the second part when we come back we'll do words that aren't always about being
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋‹ค์Œ ๋‘ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ๋ถ€๋ถ„์œผ๋กœ ๋Œ์•„์™€์„œ ํ•ญ์ƒ
02:23
angry, but show different states and emotions, and I'll explain them and you can use them
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ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ด๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์ƒํƒœ์™€ ๊ฐ์ •์„ ๋‚˜ํƒ€๋‚ด๋Š” ๋‹จ์–ด๋ฅผ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์„ค๋ช…ํ•˜๊ณ  ์ค€๋น„๊ฐ€ ๋˜๋ฉด ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
02:28
when you're ready.
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.
02:29
So, let's go.
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์ž, ๊ฐ‘์‹œ๋‹ค.
02:32
Okay, these phrases, as it says, will help show that you care about the other person.
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์ข‹์•„์š”, ์ด ๋ฌธ๊ตฌ๋Š” ๋ง ๊ทธ๋Œ€๋กœ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์ƒ๋Œ€๋ฐฉ์—๊ฒŒ ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ณด์—ฌ์ฃผ๋Š” ๋ฐ ๋„์›€์ด ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:36
And how do we show we care about the other person?
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ƒ๋Œ€๋ฐฉ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๊ด€์‹ฌ์„ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๋ณด์—ฌ์ค๋‹ˆ๊นŒ ?
02:39
Sometimes it's to say or to show that they're intelligent. Right?
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๋•Œ๋•Œ๋กœ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋˜‘๋˜‘ํ•˜๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋งํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๋ณด์—ฌ์ฃผ๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ?
02:43
So the first statement I use as this:
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๋Š” ์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ๋ฌธ์žฅ์€
02:46
"You have a good point" or "That's a good point".
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"๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ข‹์€ ์ง€์ ์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค" ๋˜๋Š” "๊ทธ๊ฑด ์ข‹์€ ์ง€์ ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค"์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:50
In saying: "That's a good point"...
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"๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ์ข‹์€ ์ง€์ ์ด์•ผ"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋ฉด์„œ...
02:52
I got to put a comma here, I just forgot my comma.
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์—ฌ๊ธฐ์— ์‰ผํ‘œ๋ฅผ ๋„ฃ์–ด์•ผ ํ•˜๋Š”๋ฐ ์‰ผํ‘œ๋ฅผ ์žŠ์–ด๋ฒ„๋ ธ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:54
"That's a good point", in saying that you're admitting that what they're saying, there's valid.
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"๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ์ข‹์€ ์ง€์ ์ด์•ผ", ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ํƒ€๋‹นํ•˜๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ธ์ •ํ•œ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:01
Valid means has some truth.
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์œ ํšจํ•œ ์ˆ˜๋‹จ์—๋Š” ์•ฝ๊ฐ„์˜ ์ง„์‹ค์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:03
You're not automatically agreeing with everything they say, and that's important.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์— ์ž๋™์œผ๋กœ ๋™์˜ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์œผ๋ฉฐ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ค‘์š”ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:08
When people are arguing, you don't have to agree with everything, but you have to listen
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์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ๋ง๋‹คํˆผ์„ ํ•  ๋•Œ ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์— ๋™์˜ํ•  ํ•„์š”๋Š” ์—†์ง€๋งŒ
03:11
and see what they say because sometimes what they say is good and can help both of you
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๋•Œ๋•Œ๋กœ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ข‹๊ณ  ๊ด€๊ณ„์—์„œ ๋‘ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ ๋ชจ๋‘์—๊ฒŒ ๋„์›€์ด ๋  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋“ฃ๊ณ  ๋ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
03:17
in your relationship.
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.
03:18
So simply just saying, you know: "You have a good point.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๋‹จ์ˆœํžˆ "๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ข‹์€ ์ง€์ ์„ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:22
I should think about this."
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๋‚˜๋Š” ์ด๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:23
Or: "That's a good point."
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๋˜๋Š”: "๊ทธ๊ฑด ์ข‹์€ ์ง€์ ์ด์•ผ."
03:25
Even if I don't agree with everything, I can still listen to you and hear that these are
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๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์— ๋™์˜ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋”๋ผ๋„ ๋‚˜๋Š” ์—ฌ์ „ํžˆ ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๋ง์„ ๋“ค์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ณ  ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด
03:30
good points or these make sense.
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์ข‹์€ ์ ์ด๋‚˜ ์ด์น˜์— ๋งž๋Š”๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋“ค์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:32
All right?
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๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€?
03:33
By using these phrases here, I just want to point out that it will help you because what
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์—ฌ๊ธฐ์—์„œ ์ด ๋ฌธ๊ตฌ๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•จ์œผ๋กœ์จ ๋„์›€์ด ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ด๋ผ๋Š” ์ ์„ ์ง€์ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:37
you're saying really is: No matter what we fight about, at the end you're still my good
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์™œ๋ƒํ•˜๋ฉด ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ๋‹ค์Œ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:42
friend, you're still my girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, lover, student, or teacher.
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, ๋‚จ์ž ์นœ๊ตฌ, ๋‚จํŽธ, ์•„๋‚ด, ์—ฐ์ธ, ํ•™์ƒ ๋˜๋Š” ๊ต์‚ฌ.
03:47
Okay? Not all together, by the way.
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์ข‹์•„์š”? ๊ทธ๊ฑด ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ณ  ๋ชจ๋‘ ํ•จ๊ป˜๊ฐ€ ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:49
But, you know, each one as a partnership, we're...
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ, ์•„์‹œ๋‹ค์‹œํ”ผ, ๊ฐ์ž ํŒŒํŠธ๋„ˆ์‹ญ์œผ๋กœ์„œ, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š”...
03:52
We can still be good or have a good relationship even though we don't agree right now.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ง€๊ธˆ ๋‹น์žฅ์€ ๋™์˜ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋”๋ผ๋„ ์—ฌ์ „ํžˆ ์ข‹์€ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ์œ ์ง€ํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์ข‹์€ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ์œ ์ง€ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
03:56
Okay?
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์ข‹์•„์š”?
03:57
So that's the first one.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:58
Here's the second one: "I can understand why you want X."
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์—ฌ๊ธฐ ๋‘ ๋ฒˆ์งธ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. " ๋‹น์‹ ์ด X๋ฅผ ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ์ด์œ ๋ฅผ ์ดํ•ดํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."
04:03
Well, what I want is important to me, and the fact that you can understand it means
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๊ธ€์Ž„, ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‚˜์—๊ฒŒ ์ค‘์š”ํ•˜๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ดํ•ดํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ์‚ฌ์‹ค์€
04:06
at least you're listening to me or you think my views are important.
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์ ์–ด๋„ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋‚ด ๋ง์„ ๋“ฃ๊ณ  ์žˆ๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๋‚ด ๊ฒฌํ•ด๊ฐ€ ์ค‘์š”ํ•˜๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:09
So, by saying that, you can say: "I can understand you want X."
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•จ์œผ๋กœ์จ "๋‹น์‹ ์ด X๋ฅผ ์›ํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ดํ•ดํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹ค์‹œ
04:13
Once again, you're not saying I'm going to give it to you, but you know what?
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ํ•œ๋ฒˆ ๋ง์”€๋“œ๋ฆฌ์ง€๋งŒ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋“œ๋ฆฌ๊ฒ ๋‹ค๋Š” ๋ง์”€์€ ์•„๋‹ˆ ์‹œ๊ฒ ์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ๊ฑฐ ์•„์‹œ์ฃ ?
04:17
We've been dating-what?-15 years, living together, we have five kids, two kittens,
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” 15๋…„ ๋™์•ˆ ์‚ฌ๊ท€์—ˆ๊ณ , ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์‚ด์•˜๊ณ , ๋‹ค์„ฏ ์•„์ด, ์ƒˆ๋ผ ๊ณ ์–‘์ด ๋‘ ๋งˆ๋ฆฌ,
04:22
a dog, and a pony - you want to get married.
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๊ฐœ ํ•œ ๋งˆ๋ฆฌ, ์กฐ๋ž‘๋ง ํ•œ ๋งˆ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ฒฐํ˜ผํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:25
I can understand why you would want to get married after all of this commitment.
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์ด ๋ชจ๋“  ์•ฝ์† ํ›„์— ๊ฒฐํ˜ผํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•˜๋Š” ์ด์œ ๋ฅผ ์ดํ•ดํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:29
It doesn't mean I'm going to do it, but I can understand it because I thought about it.
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ํ•˜๊ฒ ๋‹ค๋Š” ๋œป์ด ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ ์ƒ๊ฐ์„ ํ–ˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์ดํ•ดํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค.
04:33
That will at least let the person think: "Okay, you can understand."
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ ์–ด๋„ ๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด "์ข‹์•„์š”, ์ดํ•ดํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๊ฒŒ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:35
They might want something, be prepared, but at least you're showing: I listened to you
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๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ์›ํ•˜๊ณ  ์ค€๋น„ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์ง€๋งŒ ์ ์–ด๋„ ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋ณด์—ฌ์ฃผ๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‚˜๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๋ง์„ ๋“ค์—ˆ๊ณ 
04:39
and I get it.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ์–ป์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:40
All right?
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๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€?
04:41
And it's fair, you can understand that.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ณตํ‰ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ดํ•ดํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:44
"Tell me more. ...And how can I help you?"
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"์ž์„ธํžˆ ๋งํ•ด๋ด. ... ๋ฌด์—‡์„ ๋„์™€๋“œ๋ฆด๊นŒ์š”?"
04:47
This is very powerful.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋งค์šฐ ๊ฐ•๋ ฅํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:49
Very, very powerful, but be careful when you use it.
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๋งค์šฐ ๋งค์šฐ ๊ฐ•๋ ฅํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•  ๋•Œ ์ฃผ์˜ํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
04:52
When you're telling someone: "Tell me more", you're saying:
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๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์—๊ฒŒ "๋งํ•ด๋ด"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ๋•Œ, ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค:
04:54
I respect you as a person so I'm willing to listen to you.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์„ ์ธ๊ฐ„์œผ๋กœ์„œ ์กด์ค‘ํ•˜๋ฏ€๋กœ ๊ธฐ๊บผ์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๋ง์„ ๋“ค์„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:58
I know, I said scary words: "listen to you".
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์•Œ์•„์š”, ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋ฌด์„œ์šด ๋ง์„ ํ–ˆ์–ด์š”: "๋‹น์‹  ๋ง์„ ๋“ค์–ด์š”".
05:01
My mouth will remain shut.
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๋‚ด ์ž… ๋‹ค๋ฌผ๊ณ ์žˆ์„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:06
That's right, shut it and listen.
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๋งž์•„์š”, ๋‹ฅ์น˜๊ณ  ๋“ค์–ด์š”.
05:09
And then when they're done you can say: "And how can I help?"
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋‹ค์Œ ์ž‘์—…์ด ์™„๋ฃŒ๋˜๋ฉด "๋ฌด์—‡์„ ๋„์™€๋“œ๋ฆด๊นŒ์š”?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:15
In my job, in my day job-day job-when I teach I also help with students and that, and I've used this.
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๋‚ด ์ง์—…์—์„œ, ์ผ์ƒ ์—…๋ฌด์—์„œ-๊ฐ€๋ฅด์น  ๋•Œ ๋‚˜๋Š” ๋˜ํ•œ ํ•™์ƒ๋“ค์„ ๋•๊ณ , ์ด๊ฒƒ์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋ง๋„
05:23
And I know it sounds crazy, but it works very well because first...
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์•ˆ ๋˜๋Š” ์†Œ๋ฆฌ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ๋“ค๋ฆฌ๊ฒ ์ง€๋งŒ ์•„์ฃผ ์ž˜ ์ž‘๋™ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์™œ๋ƒํ•˜๋ฉด ์ฒ˜์Œ์—๋Š”...
05:27
Please don't... Don't be angry when I say this, anyone watching.
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์ œ๋ฐœ... ์ œ๋ฐœ... ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์ด ๋ง์„ ํ•  ๋•Œ ํ™”๋‚ด์ง€ ๋งˆ์„ธ์š”.
05:31
Well, when somebody's angry it's like a snake.
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์Œ, ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ด๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ฑ€๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:33
A snake has venom.
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๋ฑ€์—๊ฒŒ๋Š” ๋…์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:35
You know?
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05:35
The snake.
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์•Œ์ž–์•„?
๋ฑ€.
05:37
And the snake bites.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋ฑ€์ด ๋ฌผ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:38
Now, the snake has to let that venom go or it's not good for the snake.
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์ด์ œ ๋ฑ€์€ ๊ทธ ๋…์„ ๋†“์•„์ฃผ์–ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ ‡์ง€ ์•Š์œผ๋ฉด ๋ฑ€์—๊ฒŒ ์ข‹์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:43
You know, yeah. It's just not good for the snake.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜. ๋ฑ€์—๊ฒŒ ์ข‹์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:45
So the snake bites you, you take the venom.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๋ฑ€์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์„ ๋ฌผ๋ฉด ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋…์„ ๋จน์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:47
Now, the snake lets the venom go, it feels better, it can go about its business.
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์ด์ œ ๋ฑ€์€ ๋…์„ ๋‚ด๋ณด๋‚ด๊ณ  ๊ธฐ๋ถ„์ด ์ข‹์•„์ง€๋ฉฐ ์ผ์„ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:52
That's what this is about.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋ฐ”๋กœ ์ด๊ฒƒ์— ๊ด€ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:53
"Tell me more" is someone's angry, they got to let it out.
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"Tell me more"๋Š” ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ด๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:56
By letting them let it out it's like...
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๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋‚ด๋ณด๋‚ด๊ฒŒ ํ•จ์œผ๋กœ์จ ๋งˆ์น˜...
05:58
Think of a balloon.
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ํ’์„ ์„ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด ๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
05:59
The balloon is big, about to pop, but as the air...
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ํ’์„ ์€ ํฌ๊ณ  ํ„ฐ์ง€๋ ค๊ณ  ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๊ณต๊ธฐ๊ฐ€ ...
06:02
The air goes out, the balloon won't pop, and now the balloon can go back and forth, still
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๊ณต๊ธฐ๊ฐ€ ๋‚˜๊ฐ€๋ฉด ํ’์„ ์ด ํ„ฐ์ง€์ง€ ์•Š๊ณ  ์ด์ œ ํ’์„ ์ด ์•ž๋’ค๋กœ ์ด๋™ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์œผ๋ฉฐ ์—ฌ์ „ํžˆ
06:07
be a balloon and not explode.
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ํ’์„ ์ด๊ณ  ํญ๋ฐœํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:10
That's good for the balloon. Right?
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ํ’์„ ์— ์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ?
06:12
It's also good for you because you let it out, usually they let you know exactly what's
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋˜ํ•œ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋‚ด๋ณด๋ƒˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์œผ๋กœ ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋ฌด์Šจ ์ผ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š”์ง€ ์ •ํ™•ํžˆ ์•Œ๋ ค ์ฃผ๋ฏ€๋กœ ์ž…์„ ๋‹ค๋ฌผ๊ณ  ์žˆ์„
06:15
going on so you can think about it if your mouth is shut, and then you can say:
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๋•Œ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ƒ๊ฐํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋‹ค์Œ
06:21
"And how can I help?"
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"์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๋„์™€๋“œ๋ฆด๊นŒ์š”?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:23
Honestly, 50% of the time once they let that out, they're like: "I just needed to vent."
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์†”์งํžˆ ๋งํ•˜๋ฉด 50%๋Š” ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋ง์„ ํ–ˆ์„ ๋•Œ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:29
"Needed to vent" is an English expression means: "I was upset or angry, I had all this
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"Needed to vent"๋Š” ์˜์–ด ํ‘œํ˜„์œผ๋กœ ๋‹ค์Œ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์€ ๋œป์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:34
energy inside and I had to let it go.
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06:37
And now I let it go, I can do it myself.
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06:39
I can fix it myself."
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."
06:41
The other 50%, that's why I said it's dangerous, when you say: "And how can I help?" they might
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๋‚˜๋จธ์ง€ 50%๋Š” ์œ„ํ—˜ํ•˜๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•œ ์ด์œ ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๋„์™€๋“œ๋ฆด๊นŒ์š”?" ๊ทธ๋“ค์€
06:46
say: "Hey, this is what I want from you."
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"์ด๋ด, ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:48
And because you said: "How can I help?" you kind of have to do it.
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"๋ฌด์—‡์„ ๋„์™€๋“œ๋ฆด๊นŒ์š”?" ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ํ•ด์•ผํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:52
But remember what we said up here?
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ ๋งํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•˜์‹ญ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
06:54
Because you care about the argument or you care about the person, you probably want to
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๋…ผ์Ÿ์— ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์žˆ๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์— ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์—
06:58
help them because you actually do care about them.
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์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๊ทธ๋“ค์„ ๋•๊ณ  ์‹ถ์„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:01
So keep that in mind. Okay?
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‹ˆ ๋ช…์‹ฌํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค. ์ข‹์•„์š”?
07:03
And once they vent, usually what they ask for isn't this big, monstrous thing.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ์ผ๋‹จ ๋ถ„์ถœํ•˜๋ฉด, ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์œผ๋กœ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ์š”๊ตฌํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ํฌ๊ณ  ๊ธฐ๊ดดํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์ด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:08
Sometimes it's a little thing that you can help with.
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๋•Œ๋กœ๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋„์šธ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ์ž‘์€ ์ผ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:11
So be generous, say: "How can I help?"
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๊ด€๋Œ€ํ•˜๊ฒŒ "๋ฌด์—‡์„ ๋„์™€๋“œ๋ฆด๊นŒ์š”?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
07:14
It goes a long way. All right?
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋จผ ๊ธธ์„ ๊ฐ„๋‹ค. ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€?
07:16
Now, these thring-, three things, as I said, will tell the other person that you care about them.
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์ž, ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋งํ–ˆ๋“ฏ์ด ์ด ์„ธ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ฐ€ ์ƒ๋Œ€๋ฐฉ์—๊ฒŒ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ทธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋งํ•ด์ค„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:20
Especially this one: "How can I help you?" because I care about you.
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ํŠนํžˆ "๋ฌด์—‡์„ ๋„์™€๋“œ๋ฆด๊นŒ์š” ?" ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋‹น์‹ ์„ ๊ฑฑ์ •ํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์—.
07:23
And it'll change your relationship, it'll change the way you fight.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๋ณ€ํ™”์‹œํ‚ฌ ๊ฒƒ์ด๊ณ , ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์‹ธ์šฐ๋Š” ๋ฐฉ์‹์„ ๋ณ€ํ™”์‹œํ‚ฌ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์„œ๋กœ๋ฅผ
07:26
You'll have more respect for each other.
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๋” ์กด์ค‘ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
07:28
And you're learning my language, so I'm trying to teach you how we think.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ œ ์–ธ์–ด๋ฅผ ๋ฐฐ์šฐ๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ €๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐฉ์‹์„ ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์น˜๋ ค๊ณ  ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:31
And these words are important to us.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ด ๋ง์€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์—๊ฒŒ ์ค‘์š”ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:34
Now, there's two sides to every coin, and a coin is money, and in this case there are
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์ด์ œ ๋ชจ๋“  ๋™์ „์—๋Š” ์–‘๋ฉด์ด ์žˆ๊ณ  ๋™์ „์€ ๋ˆ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ด ๊ฒฝ์šฐ
07:40
two sides to every argument: The people you're fighting with and you.
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๋ชจ๋“  ๋…ผ์Ÿ์—๋Š” ์–‘๋ฉด์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์‹ธ์šฐ๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๊ณผ ๋‹น์‹ ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:44
If you don't express or let people know how you feel, things won't change for the better
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ํ‘œํ˜„ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ์ž์‹ ์˜ ๊ฐ์ •์„ ์•Œ๋ฆฌ์ง€ ์•Š์œผ๋ฉด ์ƒํ™ฉ์ด ๋” ๋‚˜์•„์ง€์ง€ ์•Š๊ฑฐ๋‚˜
07:50
or things won't be good.
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์ข‹์ง€ ์•Š์„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:51
So in this case I want to take the time to go through and give you some phrases that
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ์ด ๊ฒฝ์šฐ ์‹œ๊ฐ„์„ ๋‚ด์„œ ์‚ดํŽด๋ณด๊ณ  ์ž์‹ ์„ ํ‘œํ˜„ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ ๋„์›€์ด ๋˜๋Š” ๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ๋ฌธ๊ตฌ๋ฅผ ์•Œ๋ ค ๋“œ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ์ž ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
07:56
are useful to help you express yourself.
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.
07:59
Here's the funny thing.
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์—ฌ๊ธฐ ์žฌ๋ฏธ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:01
Remember before we have to put the other person high and lower yourself to make them feel better?
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์˜ ๊ธฐ๋ถ„์„ ์ข‹๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ์ƒ๋Œ€๋ฐฉ์„ ๋†’์ด๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๋‚ฎ์ถ”์–ด์•ผ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์ „์— ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•˜์‹ญ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
08:06
And by the way, it's not a sign of weakness to go lower.
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๊ทธ๊ฑด ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ณ , ๋” ๋‚ฎ์•„์ง€๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‚˜์•ฝํ•จ์˜ ํ‘œ์‹œ๊ฐ€ ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:09
It takes great strength to be able to sit down and let someone else talk.
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์•‰์•„์„œ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ๋งํ•˜๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋ ค๋ฉด ํฐ ํž˜์ด ํ•„์š”ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:14
Okay?
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์ข‹์•„์š”?
08:16
But in this case, ah, when you want to really push your point, you have to do something
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์ด ๊ฒฝ์šฐ, ์•„, ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์ •๋ง๋กœ ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์š”์ ์„ ๋ฐ€์–ด๋ถ™์ด๊ณ  ์‹ถ์„ ๋•Œ, ๋‹น์‹ ์€
08:21
a little different.
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์กฐ๊ธˆ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๊ฒƒ์„ ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹ค์‹œ
08:22
Once again, you got to lower yourself. Huh?
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ํ•œ ๋ฒˆ ์ž์‹ ์„ ๋‚ฎ์ถ”์–ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋ญ?
08:25
Well, for some people this is called lowering themselves.
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๊ธ€์Ž„, ์–ด๋–ค ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ๋Š” ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ์ž์‹ ์„ ๋‚ฎ์ถ”๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:28
For me it's actually being very strong.
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์ €์—๊ฒŒ๋Š” ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ๋งค์šฐ ๊ฐ•ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:31
You got to tell the truth.
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์ง„์‹ค์„ ๋งํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:33
And in order to do that without being too strong and making the other person defensive,
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๊ฐ•ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๊ณ  ์ƒ๋Œ€๋ฐฉ์„ ๋ฐฉ์–ด์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋งŒ๋“ค์ง€ ์•Š๊ณ ,
08:38
which means they want to fight with you instead of listen, we're going to take what I would
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์ฆ‰ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๋ง์„ ๋“ฃ์ง€ ์•Š๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ๊ณผ ์‹ธ์šฐ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ œ๊ฐ€
08:42
say is a soft approach or a soft way of communicating.
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๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๋ถ€๋“œ๋Ÿฌ์šด ์ ‘๊ทผ ๋˜๋Š” ๋ถ€๋“œ๋Ÿฌ์šด ์˜์‚ฌ์†Œํ†ต ๋ฐฉ์‹์„ ์ทจํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:46
The first one is this: "Look, I know this might sound stupid, but what really is bothering
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์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ๋Š” ์ด๋ ‡์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "์ด๋ด, ์ด๊ฒŒ ๋ฉ์ฒญํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋“ค๋ฆด ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฑด ์•Œ์ง€๋งŒ, ์ •๋ง
08:52
me is this..."
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๋‚˜๋ฅผ ๊ดด๋กญํžˆ๋Š” ๊ฑด ์ด๊ฒŒ..."
08:55
So, yeah, look, I know this might sound stupid, but what's really bothering me is...
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๊ทธ๋ž˜, ๋ด, ์ด๊ฒŒ ๋ฉ์ฒญํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋“ค๋ฆด ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฑด ์•Œ์ง€๋งŒ, ๋‚˜๋ฅผ ์ •๋ง๋กœ ๊ดด๋กญํžˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€...
09:01
By saying: "Look"...
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"๋ด"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•จ์œผ๋กœ์จ...
09:02
That's a secret command, by the way.
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๊ทธ๊ฑด ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ณ  ๋น„๋ฐ€ ๋ช…๋ น์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:04
Saying: "Look", you're saying: "Stop. Pay attention."
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"๋ด"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ "๊ทธ๋งŒ, ์ง‘์ค‘ํ•ด "๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:07
But then you're saying: "What really is bothering me",
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๋‹น์‹ ์€ "๋ฌด์—‡์ด ์ •๋ง ๋‚˜๋ฅผ ๊ดด๋กญํžˆ๋Š”๊ฐ€"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๊ณ 
09:09
but this part here: "it might sound stupid" is saying:
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์žˆ์ง€๋งŒ ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ " ๋ฐ”๋ณด์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ๋“ค๋ฆด ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค"๋ผ๋Š” ๋ถ€๋ถ„์€
09:12
"I know to you this may not be a big thing, and I know it's kind of, you know, not that important",
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"์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ๋ณ„ ์ผ์ด ์•„๋‹ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋‹ค์ง€ ์ค‘์š”ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."
09:17
but because you're doing that it kind of softens what you're
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋งํ•˜๋ ค๋Š” ๋‚ด์šฉ์ด ๋ถ€๋“œ๋Ÿฌ์›Œ์ง‘๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
09:21
about to say because you're going to say what is really bothering me.
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.
09:24
This does not make me happy.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‚˜๋ฅผ ํ–‰๋ณตํ•˜๊ฒŒ ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋Š”๋‹ค.
09:25
But I'm not saying: "Hey, stupid, you pissed me off."
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ ๋‚˜๋Š” "์ด๋ด, ๋ฐ”๋ณด ์•ผ, ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋‚˜๋ฅผ ํ™”๋‚˜๊ฒŒํ–ˆ๋‹ค"๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:28
I'm saying: "Hey, I know. Sorry. Don't mean to bother you."
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"์ด๋ด, ์•Œ์•„. ๋ฏธ์•ˆํ•ด. ๊ท€์ฐฎ๊ฒŒ ํ•  ์ƒ๊ฐ์€ ์—†์–ด."
09:33
And because that most people will go:
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋Œ€๋ถ€๋ถ„์˜ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด
09:35
"Well, no, it's no bother. No, no, please speak",
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"๊ธ€์Ž„, ์•„๋‹ˆ, ๊ท€์ฐฎ๊ฒŒ ํ•˜์ง€๋งˆ. ์•„๋‹ˆ, ์•„๋‹ˆ, ์ œ๋ฐœ ๋งํ•ด์ค˜"๋ผ๊ณ  ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ด๊ธฐ
09:38
because I've lowered myself and said:
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๋•Œ๋ฌธ์—, ๋‚˜๋Š” ์Šค์Šค๋กœ๋ฅผ ๋‚ฎ์ถ”๊ณ  ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:40
"I know it doesn't seem important to you, but..."
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" ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ์ค‘์š”ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์€ ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์ง€๋งŒ... "
09:44
And most people are generous enough that they'll go: "Okay, cool. Gotcha.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋Œ€๋ถ€๋ถ„์˜ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ๋‹ค์Œ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์ด ๊ด€๋Œ€ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:47
Well, why don't you talk?"
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09:48
Cool. See? You secretly slide in.
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์‹œ์›ํ•œ. ๋ณด๋‹ค? ๋ชฐ๋ž˜ ๋“ค์–ด์™€.
09:51
First you come in, smash!
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๋จผ์ € ๋“ค์–ด์™€, ์Šค๋งค์‹œ!
09:52
I'm kidding.
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๋†๋‹ด์ด์•ผ.
09:53
First you say: "Look, pay attention."
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๋จผ์ € "๋ด, ์ง‘์ค‘ํ•ด"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:55
Then you lower yourself, then you introduce what you want to say.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋‹ค์Œ ์ž์‹ ์„ ๋‚ฎ์ถ”๊ณ  ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ๋ง์„ ์†Œ๊ฐœํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:59
Cool? I know, sneaky. Sorry.
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์‹œ์›ํ•œ? ์•Œ์•„, ๊ตํ™œํ•œ. ์ฃ„์†กํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:02
Sneaky means not direct, but sometimes you do what you do to get the job done. Right?
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Sneaky๋Š” ์ง์ ‘์ ์ด์ง€ ์•Š๋‹ค๋Š” ์˜๋ฏธ์ด์ง€๋งŒ ๋•Œ๋กœ๋Š” ์ž‘์—…์„ ์™„๋ฃŒํ•˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ์ˆ˜ํ–‰ํ•˜๋Š” ์ž‘์—…์„ ์ˆ˜ํ–‰ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ?
10:07
Okay.
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์ข‹์•„์š”.
10:08
Here's a second: "That" and I say "X".
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์—ฌ๊ธฐ ๋‘ ๋ฒˆ์งธ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "์ €๊ฒƒ" ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ €๋Š” "X"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:12
Whatever X is, it could be a comment they said, a thing they did:
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X๊ฐ€ ๋ฌด์—‡์ด๋“  ๊ฐ„์— ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ํ•œ ๋ง์ผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:17
"hurt my feelings because..."
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10:20
Once again you're saying: "I'm hurt."
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10:22
You're not putting the blame on the other person.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์—๊ฒŒ ์ฑ…์ž„์„ ์ „๊ฐ€ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:25
You'll notice if you listen carefully when I do these, I'm never saying:
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๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์ด ์ผ์„ ํ•  ๋•Œ ์ฃผ์˜ ๊นŠ๊ฒŒ ๋“ค์–ด๋ณด๋ฉด
10:28
"It's all your fault."
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"๋‹ค ๋„ค ์ž˜๋ชป์ด์•ผ"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋Š”๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:29
The first one I'm saying: "You might think this is stupid because it's something I'm thinking."
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๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ๋Š” " ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ์–ด๋ฆฌ์„๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."
10:34
Not you being stupid, not your fault.
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๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋ฐ”๋ณด๊ฐ€ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์ž˜๋ชป์ด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:36
This one: "That thing hurt my feelings. Not you."
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์ด๊ฑด: "๊ทธ๊ฑด ๋‚ด ๊ฐ์ •์„ ์ƒํ•˜๊ฒŒ ํ–ˆ์–ด์š”. ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ์š”."
10:41
Right?
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10:41
That thing that you said.
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์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ?
๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋งํ•œ ๊ฒƒ.
10:43
Not you, but the thing that you said hurt my feelings, and it hurt my feelings because...
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๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋งํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋‚ด ๊ฐ์ •์„ ์ƒํ•˜๊ฒŒ ํ–ˆ๊ณ , ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€
10:46
Then I tell you why it hurt my feelings.
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๋‚ด ๊ฐ์ •์„ ์ƒํ•˜๊ฒŒ ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:49
Because I'm not directly coming at you, the person can actually sit down and listen because
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๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ์ง์ ‘ ๋‹ค๊ฐ€๊ฐ€๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์•„๋‹ˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๊ณต๊ฒฉ๋‹นํ•˜๋Š” ๋Š๋‚Œ์ด ๋“ค์ง€ ์•Š๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์€ ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ์•‰์•„์„œ ๋“ค์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
10:53
they don't feel like they're being attacked.
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.
10:54
It's really important.
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์ •๋ง ์ค‘์š”ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:56
All right?
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๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€?
10:58
Third one is this one:
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์„ธ ๋ฒˆ์งธ๋Š” ์ด๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค:
11:03
"I'm scared and I don't really want to admit it, but I'm afraid you
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"๋‘๋ ต๊ณ  ์ธ์ •ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€ ์•Š์ง€๋งŒ , ๋‹น์‹ ์ด
11:08
might feel..."
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๋Š๋‚„๊นŒ๋ด ๋‘๋ ต์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค..."
11:09
Or: "I'm afraid..."
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๋˜๋Š”: "๋‘๋ ต์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค..."
11:11
Admitting scared is natural for humans that if someone says: "I'm scared" or "I'm afraid",
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๋‘๋ ต๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ธ์ •ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ž์—ฐ์Šค๋Ÿฌ์šด ์ผ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ "๋‚˜๋Š” ๋ฌด์„œ์›Œ" ๋˜๋Š” "๋‚˜๋Š” ๋‘๋ ค์›Œ"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋ฉด
11:17
you want to protect them because coming to you saying: "Look, I'm scared of this", I'm
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์„ ๋ณดํ˜ธํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:22
saying: "You're my protector.
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๋‚ด ๋ณดํ˜ธ์ž์•ผ.
11:23
Can you help me?"
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๋„์™€์ค„๋ž˜?"
11:25
And for the average person, they'll go: "You're scared?
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋ณดํ†ต ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "๋ฌด์„œ์›Œ์š”?
11:27
What are you scared of?"
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๋ญ๊ฐ€ ๋ฌด์„œ์›Œ์š”?"
11:28
And they want to play superhero: "How can I help?"
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ์Šˆํผํžˆ์–ด๋กœ ์—ญํ• ์„ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . "๋ฌด์—‡์„ ๋„์™€๋“œ๋ฆด๊นŒ์š”?"
11:31
So by saying that and you're saying: "I'm afraid, but I'm afraid", blah, blah, blah,
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์€ " ๋‘๋ ต์ง€๋งŒ ๋‘๋ ต์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์–ด์ฉŒ๊ตฌ ์ €์ฉŒ๊ตฌ ์ €๋ฅผ
11:35
what is making me afraid, it allows them to listen and then want to participate and help you.
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๋‘๋ ต๊ฒŒ ๋งŒ๋“œ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๋ง์„ ๋“ฃ๊ณ  ์ฐธ์—ฌํ•˜๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์„ ๋•๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•˜๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:41
It's kind of like this one.
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์ด๊ฒƒ๊ณผ ๋น„์Šทํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:42
Remember I said: This might get you in trouble because they will ask for your help?
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๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋งํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค: ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๋„์›€์„ ์š”์ฒญํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ด๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์„ ๊ณค๊ฒฝ์— ๋น ๋œจ๋ฆด ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
11:46
Well, this gets them in trouble because if they're going to be your protector, they have
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๊ธ€์Ž„, ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๋ณดํ˜ธ์ž๊ฐ€ ๋˜๋ ค๋ฉด
11:50
to do something.
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๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๊ทธ๋“ค์„ ๊ณค๊ฒฝ์— ๋น ๋œจ๋ฆฝ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:51
Yeah, see?
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๊ทธ๋ž˜, ๋ดค์–ด?
11:52
Yin and yang, a bit of balance on that. Okay?
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์Œ๊ณผ ์–‘, ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ์•ฝ๊ฐ„์˜ ๊ท ํ˜•. ์ข‹์•„์š”?
11:55
So, using these phrases will change your arguments because fighting's a part of life, you can't
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ์ด๋Ÿฌํ•œ ๋ฌธ๊ตฌ๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๋ฉด ์‹ธ์›€์€ ์‚ถ์˜ ์ผ๋ถ€์ด๋ฏ€๋กœ ํ”ผํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์—†๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๋…ผ์Ÿ์ด ๋ฐ”๋€” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
12:00
escape them.
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.
12:01
But what you can do is use the fight to make a better relationship.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋” ๋‚˜์€ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๋งŒ๋“ค๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ์‹ธ์›€์„ ์ด์šฉํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:06
And by doing that, what we want to do is first of all let the other person know you care.
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๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ํ•จ์œผ๋กœ์จ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ•˜๊ณ ์ž ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ฌด์—‡๋ณด๋‹ค ์ƒ๋Œ€๋ฐฉ์—๊ฒŒ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ด€์‹ฌ์„ ๊ฐ–๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:11
It doesn't matter how this argument goes, at the end we're still going to be who we
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์ด ๋…ผ์Ÿ์ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ง„ํ–‰๋˜๋“  ์ƒ๊ด€์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ฒฐ๊ตญ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์—ฌ์ „ํžˆ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์ž์‹ ์ผ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
12:15
are; brother-sister, mother-father, husband-wife, teacher-student.
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. ํ˜•์ œ์ž๋งค, ์–ด๋จธ๋‹ˆ-์•„๋ฒ„์ง€, ๋‚จํŽธ-์•„๋‚ด, ๊ต์‚ฌ-ํ•™์ƒ.
12:18
Our relationship doesn't change because we have a disagreement.
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์˜๊ฒฌ ์ฐจ์ด๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๋‹ค๊ณ  ํ•ด์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๊ด€๊ณ„๊ฐ€ ๋ฐ”๋€Œ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:23
And I really want to listen to what's wrong so I can help.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋„์›€์ด ๋  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋„๋ก ๋ฌด์—‡์ด ์ž˜๋ชป๋˜์—ˆ๋Š”์ง€ ์ •๋ง ๋“ฃ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:25
Right?
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์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ?
12:26
At the same time sometimes you have to tell people this isn't working, but I want you
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๋™์‹œ์— ๋•Œ๋•Œ๋กœ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ํšจ๊ณผ๊ฐ€ ์—†๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•ด์•ผ ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ, ๋‚ด๊ฐ€
12:32
to know that I care about our relationship.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๊ด€๊ณ„์— ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ์•„์ฃผ์…จ์œผ๋ฉด ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:33
It's not going to change, but this is what I need from you to make it work.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ณ€ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์„ ๊ฒƒ์ด์ง€๋งŒ, ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ์ž‘๋™ํ•˜๋„๋ก ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ์„œ ํ•„์š”ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:37
Pretty cool, huh?
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๊ฝค ๋ฉ‹์ง€์ฃ ?
12:38
And it's all words, and that's why you're here, to learn English and how we use it.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ชจ๋‘ ๋‹จ์–ด์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ์˜์–ด์™€ ์˜์–ด๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์„ ๋ฐฐ์šฐ๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ์—ฌ๊ธฐ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:43
Not just vocabulary, not just grammar, but how it works together to make us...
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์–ดํœ˜๋ฟ๋งŒ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ ๋ฌธ๋ฒ•๋ฟ๋งŒ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์ž‘์šฉํ•˜์—ฌ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ...
12:47
Or make us able to communicate with each other.
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๋˜๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์„œ๋กœ ์˜์‚ฌ์†Œํ†ตํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ฒŒ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:50
Now, we're going to come back in a second and what are we going to do?
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์ด์ œ ์ž ์‹œ ํ›„์— ๋‹ค์‹œ ๋Œ์•„์™€์„œ ๋ฌด์—‡์„ ํ•  ๊ฑด๊ฐ€์š”?
12:52
Well, there's other words besides "angry".
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์Œ, "ํ™”๋‚œ" ๋ง๊ณ ๋„ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋‹จ์–ด๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:54
I'm sure that's...
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ํ™•์‹คํžˆ ๊ทธ๊ฑด...
12:56
It's like "delicious", there are other words besides "delicious" for food, there's other
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"๋ง›์žˆ๋‹ค", ์Œ์‹์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด "๋ง›์žˆ๋‹ค" ์™ธ์— ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋‹จ์–ด๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๊ณ ,
13:00
words besides "angry" for emotions, and we're going to look at that in our vocabulary.
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๊ฐ์ •์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด "ํ™”๋‚˜๋‹ค" ์™ธ์— ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋‹จ์–ด๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์–ดํœ˜์—์„œ ์‚ดํŽด๋ณด๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:04
Are you ready?
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์ค€๋น„ ๋˜์—ˆ๋‚˜์š”?
13:05
Let's go.
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๊ฐ‘์‹œ๋‹ค.
13:06
[Snaps]
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[Snaps]
13:07
Okay, so, let's go into the vocabulary.
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์ข‹์•„์š”, ๊ทธ๋Ÿผ ์–ดํœ˜ ์†์œผ๋กœ ๋“ค์–ด๊ฐ€ ๋ด…์‹œ๋‹ค.
13:09
We've got some useful statements that we learned earlier, and we'll do the vocabulary now.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ด์ „์— ๋ฐฐ์› ๋˜ ๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์œ ์šฉํ•œ ๋ฌธ์žฅ์„ ์–ป์—ˆ๊ณ  ์ด์ œ ์–ดํœ˜๋ฅผ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:15
Angry is a natural way of being, but that's a general term because what it usually covers
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๋ถ„๋…ธ๋Š” ์ž์—ฐ์Šค๋Ÿฌ์šด ์กด์žฌ ๋ฐฉ์‹์ด์ง€๋งŒ ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋‹ค๋ฃจ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€
13:24
are other words that we're actually feeling.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ๋Š๋ผ๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š” ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋‹จ์–ด์ด๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์ธ ์šฉ์–ด์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:27
So I'm... I've got them listed here because if your only word is "angry", here are some useful
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ €๋Š”... ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์œ ์ผํ•œ ๋‹จ์–ด๊ฐ€ "ํ™”๋‚œ"์ด๋ผ๋ฉด ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์—
13:32
words to express yourself other than "angry".
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"ํ™”๋‚œ" ์™ธ์— ์ž์‹ ์„ ํ‘œํ˜„ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์œ ์šฉํ•œ ๋‹จ์–ด๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์„ ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์— ๋‚˜์—ดํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:35
Or when you say "angry", what do you really mean?
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๋˜๋Š” "ํ™”๋‚ฌ๋‹ค"๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ๋•Œ ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ์˜๋ฏธํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ฌด์—‡์ž…๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
13:37
How do you really feel inside?
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๋Š๋ผ์‹ญ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
13:39
"Angry" is a heat, let's just say, that you want to do something.
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"Angry"๋Š” ๋œจ๊ฑฐ์›€์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ๋‹ค๊ณ  ํ•ฉ์‹œ๋‹ค.
13:45
It's like an energy that you want to move and use. Right?
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์›€์ง์ด๊ณ  ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€์™€ ๊ฐ™์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ?
13:49
And you don't feel good.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ธฐ๋ถ„์ด ์ข‹์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:50
But, see?
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ, ๋ณด์ด์ฃ ?
13:51
When I say those things, it's like: What the hell does that mean?
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๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋ง์„ ํ•  ๋•Œ๋ฉด, ๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ๋Œ€์ฒด ๋ฌด์Šจ ๋œป์ด์•ผ?
13:54
And that's when people feel angry, they're like: "I'm so angry!" and you're like: "Why? What?"
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๊ทธ๋•Œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ด๋ฉฐ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "๋‚˜ ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚ฌ์–ด!" "์™œ? ๋ญ?"
14:00
Here's what "angry" sometimes means, and if you actually think it through...
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์—ฌ๊ธฐ "angry"๊ฐ€ ๋•Œ๋•Œ๋กœ ์˜๋ฏธํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ”๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด ๋ณด๋ฉด...
14:05
I mean, it's an English lesson, but let's go a little further. Okay?
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๋‚ด ๋ง์€, ์˜์–ด ์ˆ˜์—…์ด์ง€๋งŒ ์กฐ๊ธˆ ๋” ๋‚˜์•„๊ฐ€ ๋ด…์‹œ๋‹ค. ์ข‹์•„์š”? ์ง„์ •์œผ๋กœ ์˜๋ฏธํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ”๋ฅผ ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ํ‘œํ˜„ํ• 
14:09
It'll help you become less angry as you can actually express what you really mean.
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์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๋œ ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ด๋Š” ๋ฐ ๋„์›€์ด ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
14:13
Okay?
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์ข‹์•„์š”?
14:14
And you'll probably get more results this way.
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์ด ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์œผ๋กœ ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ๊ฒฐ๊ณผ๋ฅผ ์–ป์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:16
So, first: "angry".
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๋จผ์ € "ํ™”๊ฐ€"์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:19
I love this word: "upset". Upset's a funny word.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ์ด ๋‹จ์–ด๋ฅผ ์ข‹์•„ํ•œ๋‹ค: "ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚˜๋‹ค". ์†์ƒํ•˜๋‹ค๋Š” ๋ง์€ ์›ƒ๊ธฐ๋‹ค.
14:21
For men and women it's a little different, so please listen carefully.
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๋‚จ์ž์™€ ์—ฌ์ž๋Š” ์กฐ๊ธˆ ๋‹ค๋ฅด๋‹ˆ ์ž˜ ๋“ค์–ด์ฃผ์„ธ์š”.
14:25
"Upset" means you're not happy about something.
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"ํ™”๋‚œ"์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์–ด๋–ค ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ํ–‰๋ณตํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:28
Okay?
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์ข‹์•„์š”?
14:29
And you have this energy that you want to move and do something, fix something, change something.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์€ ์›€์ง์ด๊ณ  ์‹ถ๊ณ , ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ํ•˜๊ณ , ๊ณ ์น˜๊ณ , ๋ฐ”๊พธ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€๋ฅผ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:35
You want to do...
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๋‹น์‹ ์ด ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ์ผ...
14:36
That's what anger does, it makes you want to do something.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋ถ„๋…ธ๊ฐ€ ํ•˜๋Š” ์ผ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ๊ฒŒ ๋งŒ๋“ญ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:37
Yeah?
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์‘?
14:39
"Upset" means you're not happy about it and want to do that.
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"ํ™”๋‚œ"์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋งŒ์กฑํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๊ณ  ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:41
That's general for men.
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๋‚จ์ž์—๊ฒŒ๋Š” ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:44
For women "upset" is a little different, so guys, be careful.
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์—ฌ์„ฑ์˜ ๊ฒฝ์šฐ "ํ™”๋‚œ"์€ ์กฐ๊ธˆ ๋‹ค๋ฅด๋ฏ€๋กœ ๋‚จ์„ฑ์€ ์กฐ์‹ฌํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
14:48
If a woman says she's upset, she's sad and angry at the same time.
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์—ฌ์ž๊ฐ€ ์†์ƒํ•˜๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋ฉด, ๋™์‹œ์— ์Šฌํ”„๊ณ  ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚œ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:54
Ladies, you know what I mean.
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์ˆ™๋…€ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„, ๋ฌด์Šจ ๋ง์ธ์ง€ ์•Œ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:56
I know you're learning English, but you know when you're so angry, but you're sad that
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์˜์–ด๋ฅผ ๋ฐฐ์šฐ๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฑด ์•Œ์ง€๋งŒ
15:02
the bunny died in the movie, and you're so upset you want to do something about it?
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์˜ํ™”์—์„œ ํ† ๋ผ๊ฐ€ ์ฃฝ์–ด์„œ ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚˜๊ณ  ์Šฌํผ์„œ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ๋“  ํ•ด์ฃผ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ๋งˆ์Œ์ด ์žˆ์œผ์‹ ๊ฐ€์š”?
15:05
That's dangerous for men because she might hit you.
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๊ทธ๋…€๊ฐ€ ๋‹น์‹ ์„ ๋•Œ๋ฆด ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‚จ์„ฑ์—๊ฒŒ ์œ„ํ—˜ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
15:08
Yes, she's sad and crying, but she might hit you so keep that in mind.
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์˜ˆ, ๊ทธ๋…€๋Š” ์Šฌํ”„๊ณ  ์šธ๊ณ  ์žˆ์ง€๋งŒ ๋‹น์‹ ์„ ๋•Œ๋ฆด ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์œผ๋ฏ€๋กœ ์—ผ๋‘์— ๋‘์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
15:11
So if a woman says she's really upset about something, go: "Okay, baby, what's wrong?"
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‹ˆ ์—ฌ์ž๊ฐ€ ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ •๋ง ์†์ƒํ•˜๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋ฉด "์ข‹์•„, ์ž๊ธฐ์•ผ, ๋ฌด์Šจ ์ผ์ด์•ผ?" ์Šค์œ™ ๊ฑฐ๋ฆฌ์—์„œ
15:15
and take a step back, just out of swinging distance. Okay?
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์กฐ๊ธˆ ๋’ค๋กœ ๋ฌผ๋Ÿฌ์„œ์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค . ์ข‹์•„์š”?
15:18
Because she'll be crying at you, and she'll have a knife.
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๊ทธ๋…€๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ์šธ๊ณ  ์นผ์„ ๊ฐ€์งˆ ๊ฒƒ์ด๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
15:20
"I'm so upset, baby."
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"๋„ˆ๋ฌด ์†์ƒํ•ด, ์ž๊ธฐ์•ผ."
15:22
Step back and go:
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๋’ค๋กœ ๋ฌผ๋Ÿฌ์„œ์„œ
15:23
"Why? What's wrong, honey? How can I help? Tell me more." Okay?
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"์™œ? ๋ฌด์Šจ ์ผ์ด์•ผ, ์—ฌ๋ณด? ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๋„์™€๋“œ๋ฆด๊นŒ์š”? ๋” ๋ง์”€ํ•ด์ฃผ์„ธ์š”." ์ข‹์•„์š”?
15:27
It is a bit of a joke, but that is one of the differences between males and females
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์•ฝ๊ฐ„์˜ ๋†๋‹ด์ด์ง€๋งŒ
15:30
on that particular word in my opinion.
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์ œ ์ƒ๊ฐ์—๋Š” ํŠน์ • ๋‹จ์–ด์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๋‚จ์„ฑ๊ณผ ์—ฌ์„ฑ์˜ ์ฐจ์ด์  ์ค‘ ํ•˜๋‚˜์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
15:32
Okay?
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์ข‹์•„์š”?
15:33
Men will be angry, that means they want to change something, they're not happy about
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๋‚จ์„ฑ์€ ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ผ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ด๋Š” ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๊พธ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•˜๋ฉฐ ์ƒํ™ฉ์— ๋งŒ์กฑํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
15:37
a situation.
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.
15:38
Women are sad and they still have that anger that they need to do something usually at
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์—ฌ์„ฑ๋“ค์€ ์Šฌํ”„๊ณ  ์—ฌ์ „ํžˆ ๋ณดํ†ต ๊ทธ ์ˆœ๊ฐ„์— ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๋ถ„๋…ธ๋ฅผ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
15:42
that moment.
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.
15:43
Is it good or bad?
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์ข‹์€๊ฐ€์š” ๋‚˜์œ๊ฐ€์š”?
15:44
No, it just is.
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์•„๋‹ˆ์š”, ๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ๊ทธ๋ ‡์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
15:46
"Disappointed".
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"์‹ค๋งํ•œ".
15:49
We're often disappointed and we think it's anger because we didn't get what we wanted
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ข…์ข… ์‹ค๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์–ป์ง€ ๋ชปํ–ˆ๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๋ถ„๋…ธ๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
15:53
or we didn't...
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15:54
Someone didn't do what we thought they should do.
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.
15:58
So, I'm so angry you didn't bring that money like you were supposed to.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ, ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋งˆ๋•…ํžˆ ๋ฐ›์•„์•ผ ํ•  ๋ˆ์„ ๊ฐ€์ ธ์˜ค์ง€ ์•Š์€ ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
16:02
And what I really mean is: I'm so disappointed because I trusted you and I made plans based
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์ •๋ง๋กœ ์˜๋ฏธํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์„ ๋ฏฟ์—ˆ๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๋ฏฟ์Œ์„ ๋ฐ”ํƒ•์œผ๋กœ ๊ณ„ํš์„ ์„ธ์› ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ์‹ค๋งํ–ˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
16:07
on my trust in you.
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.
16:08
Right?
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์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ?
16:09
That totally changes it because when you say "disappointed" to me, I'm like:
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋‚˜์—๊ฒŒ "์‹ค๋งํ–ˆ๋‹ค"๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ๋•Œ
16:12
"Oh, how can I make it up?"
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"์˜ค, ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๋งŒํšŒํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?"
16:14
When you say "angry", I'm going to give you a reason why I'm angry too or as well.
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๋‹น์‹ ์ด "ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚ฌ์–ด์š”"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ๋•Œ, ๋‚˜๋„ ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚œ ์ด์œ ๋ฅผ ์•Œ๋ ค๋“œ๋ฆฌ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:19
Okay?
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16:19
So "disappointed" means I didn't get what I wanted.
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์ข‹์•„์š”?
๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ "์‹ค๋ง"์€ ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์–ป์ง€ ๋ชปํ–ˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ์˜๋ฏธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:22
Maybe you wanted to go to a great university and you go:
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์–ด์ฉŒ๋ฉด ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋ช…๋ฌธ๋Œ€์— ๊ฐ€๊ณ  ์‹ถ์—ˆ๋Š”๋ฐ
16:25
"I'm so angry. Yale said no to me for the fifth time."
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์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ• ์ง€๋„ ๋ชจ๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
16:28
Well, really I'm disappointed I don't have the marks or there's not an opportunity for
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๊ธ€์Ž„์š”, ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์ ์ˆ˜๊ฐ€ ์—†๊ฑฐ๋‚˜
16:32
me to go to a school I really want to go to.
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์ •๋ง ๊ฐ€๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ํ•™๊ต์— ๊ฐˆ ๊ธฐํšŒ๊ฐ€ ์—†์–ด์„œ ์ •๋ง ์‹ค๋ง์Šค๋Ÿฝ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:35
So "disappointed" is not getting something you really want.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ "์‹ค๋ง"์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์ •๋ง๋กœ ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์–ป์ง€ ๋ชปํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:38
Sometimes people say they're angry when they're really disappointed.
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๋•Œ๋•Œ๋กœ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ์ •๋ง ์‹ค๋งํ–ˆ์„ ๋•Œ ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚ฌ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:42
"Confused".
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"ํ˜ผ๋ž€์Šค๋Ÿฌ์šด". ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ ์–ด๋ฆฌ์„์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค
16:44
I want to make a joke about stupid people here, but I won't.
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์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋†๋‹ด์„ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ์ง€ ์•Š๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:47
But sometimes people are angry because they're confused.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ ๋•Œ๋•Œ๋กœ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ํ˜ผ๋ž€์Šค๋Ÿฌ์›Œ์„œ ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋ƒ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:49
They don't know what's going on.
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๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ๋ฌด์Šจ ์ผ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š”์ง€ ๋ชจ๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:51
And remember I kept saying that anger is like this energy you want to use?
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋ถ„๋…ธ๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๊ณ ์ž ํ•˜๋Š” ์—๋„ˆ์ง€์™€ ๊ฐ™๋‹ค๊ณ  ๊ณ„์† ๋งํ–ˆ๋˜ ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•˜์‹ญ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
16:55
Because you want to do something.
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๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋ญ”๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ์›ํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์—.
16:56
Right? Something's not working, you want to do.
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์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ? ๋ญ”๊ฐ€ ์ž‘๋™ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:59
Well, some people get confused and they don't know, so: "Now I'm angry!"
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๊ธ€์Ž„์š”, ์–ด๋–ค ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ํ˜ผ๋ž€์Šค๋Ÿฌ์›Œํ•˜๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ๋ชจ๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ "์ด์ œ ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚ฌ์–ด์š”!"
17:02
It's like: -"Why?"
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋งˆ์น˜: -"์™œ?"
17:03
-"Because I'm confused, and I don't know what to do so I got to be something."
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-"์™œ๋ƒํ•˜๋ฉด ๋‚œ ํ˜ผ๋ž€์Šค๋Ÿฌ์›Œ์„œ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ํ•ด์•ผํ• ์ง€ ๋ชจ๋ฅด๊ฒ ์–ด์„œ ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ๋˜์–ด์•ผ๋งŒ ํ–ˆ์–ด."
17:07
And it's easier to say I'm angry than confused because "confused" seems to me: Well, speak
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  "ํ˜ผ๋ž€"์ด ๋‚˜์—๊ฒŒ ๋ณด์ด๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ํ˜ผ๋ž€์Šค๋Ÿฌ์›Œํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๋ณด๋‹ค ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚ฌ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋” ์‰ฝ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ธ€์Ž„์š”,
17:13
to someone, they can help you and get rid of your confusion, and you won't be angry.
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์—๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์„ ๋„์šธ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ํ˜ผ๋ž€์„ ์—†์• ๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ด์ง€ ์•Š์„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:18
Right?
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์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ?
17:19
But sometimes people are confused so they say angry.
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๊ฐ€๋” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ํ˜ผ๋ž€์Šค๋Ÿฌ์›Œ์„œ ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ธ๋‹ค๊ณ  ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:24
A perfect example, a family finds out one of their daughters or boys are gay or homosexual.
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์™„๋ฒฝํ•œ ์˜ˆ๋กœ, ํ•œ ๊ฐ€์กฑ์ด ์ž์‹ ์˜ ๋”ธ์ด๋‚˜ ๋‚จ์ž์•„์ด ์ค‘ ํ•œ ๋ช…์ด ๋™์„ฑ์• ์ž์ž„์„ ์•Œ๊ฒŒ ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:31
They will say they're angry about the situation, when maybe they're confused that they don't
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๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ๊ทธ ์ƒํ™ฉ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚ฌ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:35
know how it happened, blah, blah, blah, blah, all these other things, but it comes out as
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์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ์ผ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚ฌ๋Š”์ง€ ๋ชจ๋ฅธ๋‹ค๊ณ  ํ˜ผ๋ž€์Šค๋Ÿฌ์›Œํ•  ๋•Œ, ์–ด์ฉŒ๊ตฌ ์ €์ฉŒ๊ตฌ, ์–ด์ฉŒ๊ตฌ ์ €์ฉŒ๊ตฌ, ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ๋“ค, ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ถ„๋…ธ๋กœ ๋‚˜์˜ค๋ฉฐ
17:39
anger and it's not necessarily that way.
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๋ฐ˜๋“œ์‹œ ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๊ฒƒ์€ ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ์‹์œผ๋กœ.
17:41
Right? Everybody's different.
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์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ? ๋ชจ๋‘ ๋‹ค๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:45
I put "scared" but I meant to write "stressed".
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๋‚˜๋Š” "๋‘๋ ค์›€"์„ ๋„ฃ์—ˆ์ง€๋งŒ "์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์Šค"๋ฅผ ์“ฐ๋ ค๊ณ  ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:48
Why?
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์™œ?
17:50
A lot of people, they say they're stressed or they confuse being stressed with being
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๋งŽ์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์Šค๋ฅผ ๋ฐ›๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์Šค๋ฅผ ํ™”๋‚œ ๊ฒƒ๊ณผ ํ˜ผ๋™ํ•œ๋‹ค๊ณ  ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:54
angry, which means...
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์ฆ‰...
17:55
Stressed means you have a lot of things going on and you feel like, you know, you've got
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์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์Šค๋ฅผ ๋ฐ›๋Š”๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋งŽ์€ ์ผ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚˜๊ณ 
17:59
a lot pressure on you because you're stressed. Right?
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์••๋ฐ•๊ฐ์„ ๋งŽ์ด ๋Š๋‚€๋‹ค๋Š” ๋œป์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์Šค๋ฅผ ๋ฐ›์•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ?
18:02
But usually it's scared.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ ๋ณดํ†ต์€ ๋‘๋ ต์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
18:04
When I'm really stressed or scared...
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๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์ •๋ง ์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์Šค๋ฅผ ๋ฐ›๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๋ฌด์„œ์šธ ๋•Œ...
18:07
Ask a child something.
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์•„์ด์—๊ฒŒ ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ๋ฌผ์–ด๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
18:08
Ask a child why...
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์•„์ด์—๊ฒŒ ์ด์œ ๋ฅผ ๋ฌผ์–ด๋ณด์„ธ์š”...
18:11
About the first day of school.
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๊ฐœํ•™ ์ฒซ๋‚ ์ฏค.
18:12
They won't say they're stressed, they'll say they're scared.
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๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์Šค๋ฅผ ๋ฐ›์•˜๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๊ณ  ๋‘๋ ต๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
18:14
And when you ask them why they're scared they'll say: "I'm scared the other children won't
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์™œ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋ฌด์„œ์›Œํ•˜๋Š”์ง€ ๋ฌผ์œผ๋ฉด ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
18:18
like me, I'm scared it'll be too difficult."
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.
18:21
If you ask an adult about the same thing, they'll say: -"I'm stressed about the first
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์–ด๋ฅธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ๊ฐ™์€ ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋ฌผ์–ด๋ณด๋ฉด ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. -"ํ•™๊ต ์ฒซ๋‚  ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์Šค๋ฅผ ๋ฐ›์•˜์–ด์š”
18:25
day of school." -"Why?"
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." -"์™œ?"
18:26
-"Because there's just so much going on."
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- " ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋งŽ์€ ์ผ์ด ๋ฒŒ์–ด์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."
18:28
And then you go: "What are you stressed about?"
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋‹ค์Œ "๋ฌด์—‡ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์Šค๋ฅผ ๋ฐ›์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?"
18:29
They can't really articulate, and "articulate" means to say or explain.
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๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ๋ช…๋ฃŒํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์—†์œผ๋ฉฐ "๋ช…๋ฃŒํ•˜๊ฒŒ"๋Š” ๋งํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์„ค๋ช…ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
18:34
But as soon as they change the word from "stressed" to "scared", suddenly they can tell you:
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ "์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์Šค"์—์„œ "๋‘๋ ค์›€"์ด๋ผ๋Š” ๋‹จ์–ด๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๊พธ ์ž๋งˆ์ž ๊ฐ‘์ž๊ธฐ
18:38
"I'm scared of this, I'm scared of this."
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"๋‚˜๋Š” ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ๋ฌด์„œ์›Œ์š”. ๋ฌด์„œ์›Œ์š”. "๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
18:41
So if you can change that word from "angry", or "stressed" to "scared", you might notice
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ๋‹จ์–ด๋ฅผ "ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚˜๋‹ค" ๋˜๋Š” "์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์Šค๋ฅผ ๋ฐ›๋‹ค"์—์„œ "๋ฌด์„œ์›Œํ•˜๋‹ค"๋กœ ๋ฐ”๊ฟ€ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด
18:46
you're not as stressed and you're relaxed once you get it out. Okay?
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์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์Šค๋ฅผ ๋œ ๋ฐ›๊ณ  ์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์Šค๋ฅผ ํ’€๊ณ  ๋‚˜๋ฉด ๋งˆ์Œ์ด ํŽธ์•ˆํ•ด์ง€๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ข‹์•„์š”?
18:51
"Frustrated".
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"์ขŒ์ ˆ์Šค๋Ÿฌ์šด".
18:53
"Frustrated", "angry", same, right?
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"์งœ์ฆ๋‚œ๋‹ค", "ํ™”๋‚œ๋‹ค", ๋˜‘๊ฐ™์ฃ ?
18:55
No. "Angry" is that energy to move.
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์•„๋‹ˆ์š”. "ํ™”๊ฐ€"๋Š” ์›€์ง์ด๋Š” ์—๋„ˆ์ง€์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
18:57
"Frustrated" is you're not getting what you want.
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"์ขŒ์ ˆํ•˜๋‹ค"๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์–ป์ง€ ๋ชปํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
18:59
It's not the same as "disappointed".
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ "์‹ค๋ง"๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:02
Something's stopping you from getting what you want.
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๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์–ป์ง€ ๋ชปํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋ง‰๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:04
If I were trying to leave this room, and I can't get out of the room...
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๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์ด ๋ฐฉ์„ ๋‚˜๊ฐ€๋ ค๊ณ  ํ–ˆ๋Š”๋ฐ ๋ฐฉ์—์„œ ๋‚˜๊ฐˆ ์ˆ˜ ์—†๋‹ค๋ฉด...
19:09
I'm trying.
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๋…ธ๋ ฅํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:10
I'm going to start getting frustrated.
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๋‹ต๋‹ตํ•ด์ง€๊ธฐ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•˜๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:11
Now, some people might go: "[Roars] Hulk Smash."
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์ด์ œ ์–ด๋–ค ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ "[Roars] Hulk Smash"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:15
I'm getting frustrated because I want to go and I can't go.
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๊ฐ€๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€๋ฐ ๊ฐˆ ์ˆ˜๊ฐ€ ์—†์–ด์„œ ๋‹ต๋‹ตํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋‹ค์Œ
19:18
And then I go: "Frustrated, okay. Yeah, I'm frustrated because I can't get out when I want to get out."
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"์ ˆ๋ง์ ์ด์•ผ, ์•Œ์•˜์–ด. ๊ทธ๋ž˜, ๋‚˜๊ฐ€๊ณ  ์‹ถ์„ ๋•Œ ๋‚˜๊ฐˆ ์ˆ˜ ์—†์–ด์„œ ๋‹ต๋‹ตํ•ด."
19:24
That doesn't mean I'm angry.
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๊ทธ๋ ‡๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚œ ๊ฒƒ์€ ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:25
Angry at what?
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๋ฌด์—‡์— ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚ฌ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
19:26
What is this angry thing, right?
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์ด ํ™”๋‚œ ๊ฑด ๋ญ์ฃ ?
19:28
That means I'm trying and I'm not getting it, so I'm frustrated.
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์ฆ‰, ๋…ธ๋ ฅํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š”๋ฐ ์–ป์ง€ ๋ชปํ•ด์„œ ๋‹ต๋‹ตํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:31
It's stopping me.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‚˜๋ฅผ ๋ง‰๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:33
"Anxious".
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"๋ถˆ์•ˆํ•ดํ•˜๋Š”".
19:35
Some people get angry about things because they're really anxious, they're worried, and
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์–ด๋–ค ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ์–ด๋–ค ์ผ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ด๋Š” ์ด์œ ๋Š” ์ •๋ง ๋ถˆ์•ˆํ•˜๊ณ , ๊ฑฑ์ •ํ•˜๊ณ ,
19:39
it seems so scary and you're so weak to say you're worried, but then there's nothing wrong
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๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋ฌด์„ญ๊ฒŒ ๋ณด์ด๊ณ  ๊ฑฑ์ •ํ•œ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๊ธฐ์—๋Š” ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ์•ฝํ•ด ๋ณด์ด์ง€๋งŒ ,
19:44
with saying you're worried.
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๊ฑฑ์ •ํ•œ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ž˜๋ชป๋œ ๊ฒƒ์ด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:45
Right?
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์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ?
19:46
You're afraid of it.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋‘๋ ค์›Œํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:47
But "worry" means to think about the future and not to have control, and you think about
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ "๊ฑฑ์ •"์€ ๋ฏธ๋ž˜์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ƒ๊ฐ ํ•˜๊ณ  ํ†ต์ œํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์—†๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•˜๋ฉฐ,
19:51
all the things that can happen in the future, and you're worried that a lot of them are
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๋ฏธ๋ž˜์— ์ผ์–ด๋‚  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๋ชจ๋“  ์ผ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๊ณ  ๋งŽ์€ ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์ด
19:55
bad and they can hurt you.
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๋‚˜์˜๊ณ  ์ƒ์ฒ˜๋ฅผ ์ค„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๊ฑฑ์ •ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:57
And that leads to being anxious about: What can happen next?
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹ค์Œ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๊ฑฑ์ •ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋งŒ๋“ญ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹ค์Œ์— ๋ฌด์Šจ ์ผ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
19:59
What can happen in the future?
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์•ž์œผ๋กœ ์–ด๋–ค ์ผ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
20:02
Once you worry... Worry.
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ํ•œ๋ฒˆ ๊ฑฑ์ •ํ•˜๋ฉด... ๊ฑฑ์ •.
20:03
[Laughs] Once you realize you're worried and you're anxious, you can let it go because
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[์›ƒ์Œ] ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ฑฑ์ •ํ•˜๊ณ  ๋ถˆ์•ˆํ•˜๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊นจ๋‹ซ๊ณ  ๋‚˜๋ฉด ,
20:08
99% of those things are never going to happen.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ์ผ์˜ 99%๋Š” ๊ฒฐ์ฝ” ์ผ์–ด๋‚˜์ง€ ์•Š์„ ๊ฒƒ์ด๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋‚ด๋ฒ„๋ ค ๋‘˜ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
20:11
So, confusing anger, you're angry about this or the possible future and anxious starts
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ํ˜ผ๋ž€์Šค๋Ÿฌ์šด ๋ถ„๋…ธ, ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ด๊ฒƒ ๋˜๋Š” ๊ฐ€๋Šฅํ•œ ๋ฏธ๋ž˜์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚˜๊ณ  ๋ถˆ์•ˆ์€
20:16
getting kind of crazy.
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๋ฏธ์นœ ๋“ฏ์ด ๋˜๊ธฐ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
20:18
Okay?
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์ข‹์•„์š”?
20:19
And "overwhelmed" means you have too much happening, too much work, too much pressure,
398
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  "์••๋„๋‹นํ•˜๋‹ค"๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋งŽ์€ ์ผ, ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋งŽ์€ ์ผ, ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋งŽ์€ ์••๋ ฅ,
20:23
too much...
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๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋งŽ์€ ์ผ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค...
20:24
It's way too much, you cannot deal with it, cannot handle, cannot do it, so you're overwhelmed.
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๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋งŽ์•„์„œ ๊ฐ๋‹นํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์—†๊ณ , ๊ฐ๋‹นํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์—†๊ณ  , ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์—†์–ด์„œ ์••๋„๋‹นํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
20:28
Some of you get overwhelmed when I speak because I speak so fast.
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์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋ง์„ ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋นจ๋ฆฌ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„ ์ค‘ ์ผ๋ถ€๋Š” ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋งํ•  ๋•Œ ์••๋„๋‹นํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
20:31
You put it on and: "[Mumbles]."
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ฐฉ์šฉํ•˜๊ณ  : "[Mumbles]."
20:34
You go: "[Gasps]."
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"[ํ—‰]."
20:36
And you need to walk away from the screen.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ํ™”๋ฉด์—์„œ ๋ฉ€์–ด์ ธ์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
20:38
Right?
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์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ?
20:39
You can't even turn it off.
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๋Œ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
20:40
I'm overwhelmed by his voice.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ๊ทธ์˜ ๋ชฉ์†Œ๋ฆฌ์— ์••๋„๋‹นํ–ˆ๋‹ค.
20:42
Too much, too much, too much.
408
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๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋งŽ์ด, ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋งŽ์ด, ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋งŽ์ด.
20:44
And I'm giving you all these words because if you talk about being angry with someone
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์ด ๋ชจ๋“  ๋ง์„ ํ•˜๋Š” ์ด์œ ๋Š” ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์—๊ฒŒ ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ด๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์–ด๋–ค ์ผ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๋ฉด ์˜์‚ฌ
20:48
or something what happens is you don't communicate.
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์†Œํ†ต์„ ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
20:52
Remember I talked about this energy you need to do something?
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๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ํ•„์š”ํ•œ ์ด ์—๋„ˆ์ง€์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋งํ–ˆ๋˜ ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•˜์‹ญ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
20:54
You want to smash, you want to tell them, you want to force them, you want to change
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๋ถ€์ˆ˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ๊ณ , ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ๊ณ , ๊ฐ•์š”ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ๊ณ , ๋ฐ”๊พธ๊ณ  ์‹ถ๊ณ 
20:57
them, you want them to do something because of that.
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, ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ํ•ด์ฃผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์›ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
21:00
But once you can let it go and just realize: "Look, I'm sorry, I'm just a little scared
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์ผ๋‹จ ๋‚ด๋ ค๋†“๊ณ  ๋‹ค์Œ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์€ ์‚ฌ์‹ค์„ ๊นจ๋‹ซ๊ฒŒ ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
21:04
right now because I'm anxious about what will happen on Monday.
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21:07
I'm worried about it", that energy's gone and you can use it to actually make better
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์‚ฌ๋ผ์กŒ๊ณ  ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ๋” ๋‚˜์€ ์˜์‚ฌ
21:12
communication.
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์†Œํ†ต์„ ์œ„ํ•ด ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
21:13
So, yes, an ESL lesson, I've given you some definitions for some words that will help
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๋„ค, ESL ๋ ˆ์Šจ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ €๋Š” ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ์ž์‹ ์„ ํ‘œํ˜„ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ ๋„์›€์ด ๋  ๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ๋‹จ์–ด์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์ •์˜๋ฅผ ์ œ๊ณตํ–ˆ์ง€๋งŒ
21:19
you express yourself, but it's also kind of a human lesson. Right?
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์ผ์ข…์˜ ์ธ๊ฐ„์ ์ธ ๋ ˆ์Šจ์ด๊ธฐ๋„ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ?
21:23
So, let's go and see how well you have mastered your humanity or your anger.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‹ˆ ๊ฐ€์„œ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์ธ๊ฐ„์„ฑ์ด๋‚˜ ๋ถ„๋…ธ๋ฅผ ์–ผ๋งˆ๋‚˜ ์ž˜ ๋งˆ์Šคํ„ฐํ–ˆ๋Š”์ง€ ๋ด…์‹œ๋‹ค.
21:28
All right? Your inner Hulk, let's say.
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๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€? ๋‚ด๋ฉด์˜ ํ—ํฌ๋ผ๊ณ  ํ•ด๋ด…์‹œ๋‹ค.
21:30
Now let's start with the first quiz question:
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์ด์ œ ์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ํ€ด์ฆˆ ์งˆ๋ฌธ๋ถ€ํ„ฐ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•˜๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค:
21:33
"I'm __________.
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"์ €๋Š” __________์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
21:36
I don't want to admit it, but I'm really afraid of..."
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์ธ์ •ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€๋Š” ์•Š์ง€๋งŒ ์ •๋ง ๋‘๋ ต์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค..."
21:41
Please don't tell me you're confused because what you're going to do if you don't remember
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21:44
the answer is rewind the video.
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๋‹ต์ด ๊ธฐ์–ต๋‚˜์ง€ ์•Š์œผ๋ฉด ๋น„๋””์˜ค๋ฅผ ๋˜๊ฐ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
21:47
Go back a minute or two, and you'll see the answer was already given to you.
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1~2๋ถ„ ๋’ค๋กœ ๋Œ์•„๊ฐ€๋ฉด ๋‹ต์ด ์ด๋ฏธ ์ฃผ์–ด์ ธ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ณผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
21:51
It's one of the statements I gave you just to help you remember.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•˜๋„๋ก ๋•๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ์ค€ ์ง„์ˆ  ์ค‘ ํ•˜๋‚˜์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
21:54
You ready?
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๋‹น์‹  ์ค€๋น„?
22:01
That's right,
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๋งž์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค,
22:06
you're scared.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋ฌด์„œ์›Œํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
22:09
Why?
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์™œ?
22:10
We just talked about being angry is one of the worst words you can use all the time.
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ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ด๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ํ•ญ์ƒ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ์ตœ์•…์˜ ๋‹จ์–ด ์ค‘ ํ•˜๋‚˜๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ฐฉ๊ธˆ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
22:14
We want to improve your vocabulary, so we don't want to say: "I'm angry.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์–ดํœ˜๋ ฅ์„ ํ–ฅ์ƒ์‹œํ‚ค๊ณ  ์‹ถ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— "๋‚˜๋Š” ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚ฌ์–ด์š”.
22:18
I don't want to admit it", it doesn't make any sense.
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์ธ์ •ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€ ์•Š์•„์š”"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
22:20
You'd have to be angry about something.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ด์•ผ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
22:23
But: "I'm scared, and I don't want to admit I'm afraid."
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ "๋ฌด์„œ์›Œ์š”. ๋‘๋ ต๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ธ์ •ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."
22:26
These two words are synonyms, so it's saying:
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์ด ๋‘ ๋‹จ์–ด๋Š” ๋™์˜์–ด์ด๋ฏ€๋กœ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
22:28
"Hey, look. I really am afraid."
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"์ด๋ด, ๋ด. ์ •๋ง ๋‘๋ ต๋‹ค."
22:30
I'm saying it twice to you, so maybe you can listen to me because I'm afraid.
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์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋‘ ๋ฒˆ ๋ง์”€๋“œ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฑฐ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋ฌด์„œ์›Œ์„œ ์ œ ๋ง์„ ๋“ค์–ด์ฃผ์…”๋„ ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
22:34
Cool?
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22:34
All right.
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์‹œ์›ํ•œ?
๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€.
22:35
Let's do the next one:
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๋‹ค์Œ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ํ•ด๋ด…
22:37
"I feel __________ at work because I have so much to do, and I have more and more work to do all the time."
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์‹œ๋‹ค.
22:50
If "disappointed" means you're not getting what you want-right?-then what I'm thinking
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๋งŒ์•ฝ "์‹ค๋ง"์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์–ป์ง€ ๋ชปํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•œ๋‹ค๋ฉด -๊ทธ๋ ‡์ฃ ?-๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋ฉด ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€
22:56
of is
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22:59
"overwhelmed". Right?
447
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"์••๋„๋‹นํ•˜๋‹ค"์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ?
23:00
Overwhelmed.
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์••๋„๋œ.
23:01
Think of a wave coming over you, crashing over you.
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ํŒŒ๋„๊ฐ€ ๋‹น์‹ ์„ ๋ฎ์นœ๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
23:03
You're overwhelmed.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์••๋„๋‹นํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
23:04
You have too much.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋งŽ์ด ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
23:07
Right? So we're overwhelmed.
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์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ? ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์••๋„๋‹นํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
23:10
"You have a __________ point."
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"๋‹น์‹ ์€ __________ ํฌ์ธํŠธ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."
23:13
If you've ever watched the X-Men, there's Wolverine, and Wolverine has like sharp claws.
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X-Men์„ ๋ณธ ์ ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด Wolverine์ด ์žˆ๊ณ  Wolverine์€ ๋‚ ์นด๋กœ์šด ๋ฐœํ†ฑ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
23:18
He could probably make a good point, but I want you to figure out which one's correct:
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๊ทธ๋Š” ์•„๋งˆ๋„ ์ข‹์€ ์ง€์ ์„ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ฒ ์ง€๋งŒ ์–ด๋Š ๊ฒƒ์ด ์˜ณ์€์ง€ ์•Œ์•„๋‚ด์‹œ๊ธฐ ๋ฐ”๋ž๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
23:22
sharp or good?
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์˜ˆ๋ฆฌํ•œ์ง€ ์ข‹์€์ง€?
23:28
That's right.
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์ข‹์•„์š”.
23:29
This one is from the first points I was saying to let someone know that you care.
458
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์—๊ฒŒ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ๋ฆฌ๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ๋งํ•œ ์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ์š”์ ์—์„œ ๋‚˜์˜จ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
23:33
You want to tell them you had a good point.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์ข‹์€ ์ ์„ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
23:37
Remember?
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23:37
Show I care about what we're talking about, I care about you and our relationship.
461
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๊ธฐ์–ตํ•˜๋‹ค?
๋‹น์‹ ๊ณผ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๊ด€๊ณ„์— ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ณด์—ฌ์ฃผ์„ธ์š”.
23:42
And finally:
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋งˆ์ง€๋ง‰์œผ๋กœ
23:43
"I'm _________ because I didn't get into my favourite university."
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"๋‚˜๋Š” ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๊ฐ€์žฅ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜๋Š” ๋Œ€ํ•™์— ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์•Š์•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— _________์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."
23:47
What do you think that would be?
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋ฌด์—‡์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
23:57
Well, I know you're thinking, and you're right, it could be you're angry, but once again we
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๊ธ€์Ž„์š”, ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์••๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์˜ณ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ํ™”๋‚œ ๊ฒƒ์ผ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์ง€๋งŒ ๋‹ค์‹œ ํ•œ ๋ฒˆ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š”
24:02
were trying to improve our vocabulary, and if you notice here I said sometimes you go
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์–ดํœ˜๋ ฅ์„ ํ–ฅ์ƒ์‹œํ‚ค๋ ค๊ณ  ๋…ธ๋ ฅํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
24:06
here and we want to say this because I said you're upset, meaning you're sad that something
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๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚ฌ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ–ˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์–ด๋–ค ์ผ์ด ์ƒ๊ฒจ์„œ ์Šฌํ”„๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
24:13
has happened.
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24:13
And I would be upset if I didn't get into my favourite university, right?
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.
๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜๋Š” ๋Œ€ํ•™์— ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์•Š์œผ๋ฉด ์†์ƒํ•  ํ…๋ฐ , ๊ทธ๋ ‡์ง€?
24:18
So I think you would be, too.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๋‹น์‹ ๋„ ๊ทธ๋Ÿด ๊ฒƒ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
24:20
Anyway, look, I hope you've enjoyed the lesson on how to...
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์–ด์จŒ๋“ , ๋ณด์„ธ์š”, ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋Š”์ง€์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๊ตํ›ˆ์„ ์ฆ๊ฒผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๋ž๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
24:24
It's not argue fairly, but argue in a way that makes your relationships better.
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๊ณต์ •ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋…ผ์Ÿํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๊ฐœ์„ ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐฉ์‹์œผ๋กœ ๋…ผ์Ÿํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
24:28
And trust me, you're going to need this because as you get better at English you're going
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์ €๋ฅผ ๋ฏฟ์œผ์„ธ์š”. ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ํ•„์š”ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์™œ๋ƒํ•˜๋ฉด ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ์˜์–ด๋ฅผ ๋” ์ž˜ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋ ์ˆ˜๋ก ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด
24:32
to find that there are a lot of people who don't agree with everything you think, and
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์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋Š” ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์— ๋™์˜ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋Š” ๋งŽ์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ด๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ
24:36
vice versa.
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๋ฐ˜๋Œ€๋„ ๋งˆ์ฐฌ๊ฐ€์ง€์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
24:37
I mean, you won't agree with everything they think.
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๋‚ด ๋ง์€, ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋Š” ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์— ๋™์˜ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
24:40
And this is one of the best way to maintain your relationships.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ์œ ์ง€ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฐ€์žฅ ์ข‹์€ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ• ์ค‘ ํ•˜๋‚˜์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
24:43
So, what I want...
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ, ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€...
24:44
Where do I want you to go?
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๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์–ด๋””๋กœ ๊ฐ€๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์›ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
24:45
Well, to www, right?
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์Œ, www๋กœ, ๋งž์ฃ ?
24:49
.eng as in English, vid as in video.com (www.engvid.com)
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.eng์€ ์˜์–ด๋กœ, vid๋Š” video.com(www.engvid.com)์—์„œ์™€ ๊ฐ™์ด
24:53
where you can do the rest of the quizzes.
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์—ฌ๊ธฐ์—์„œ ๋‚˜๋จธ์ง€ ํ€ด์ฆˆ๋ฅผ ํ’€ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
24:55
And before I say we go, I would like you to make sure you hit subscribe, and it's somewhere around here.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์ „์— ๊ตฌ๋…์„ ๋ˆ„๋ฅด์‹œ๊ธฐ ๋ฐ”๋ž๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ด ๊ทผ์ฒ˜ ์–ด๋”˜๊ฐ€์— ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
25:02
I never really know, but hit subscribe, depending on where it is on your screen.
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์ž˜ ๋ชจ๋ฅด๊ฒ ์ง€๋งŒ ํ™”๋ฉด์˜ ์œ„์น˜์— ๋”ฐ๋ผ ๊ตฌ๋…์„ ๋ˆ„๋ฅด์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
25:06
And as always, thank you very much for watching.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์–ธ์ œ๋‚˜์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ์‹œ์ฒญํ•ด์ฃผ์…”์„œ ๋Œ€๋‹จํžˆ ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
25:08
I look forward to seeing you at our next video.
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๋‹ค์Œ ์˜์ƒ์—์„œ ๋ต™๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๊ณ ๋Œ€ํ•˜๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
25:11
Have a good one.
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์ข‹์€์ด.
์ด ์›น์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ ์ •๋ณด

์ด ์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ๋Š” ์˜์–ด ํ•™์Šต์— ์œ ์šฉํ•œ YouTube ๋™์˜์ƒ์„ ์†Œ๊ฐœํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ „ ์„ธ๊ณ„ ์ตœ๊ณ ์˜ ์„ ์ƒ๋‹˜๋“ค์ด ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์น˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ˆ˜์—…์„ ๋ณด๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ฐ ๋™์˜์ƒ ํŽ˜์ด์ง€์— ํ‘œ์‹œ๋˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ” ํด๋ฆญํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ณณ์—์„œ ๋™์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋น„๋””์˜ค ์žฌ์ƒ์— ๋งž์ถฐ ์ž๋ง‰์ด ์Šคํฌ๋กค๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜๊ฒฌ์ด๋‚˜ ์š”์ฒญ์ด ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒฝ์šฐ ์ด ๋ฌธ์˜ ์–‘์‹์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์—ฌ ๋ฌธ์˜ํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.

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