How to Show Respect in English | Words + Actions

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Well hey there I'm Emma from mmmEnglish

and in this lesson, I'm going to show you how to show respect

in English because it's something that my students ask me often

because they've realised that in English we don't have many

specific words or pronouns to show respect

like lots of other languages do so I'm going to go over

three main things in this lesson:

how to greet people in a respectful way,

especially people who are older than you or your boss or manager,

your lecturer,

people that you respect and you want to show respect to.

I'll also show you how we address people respectfully

and how in English our actions are often more important

than words when we're communicating

and we're showing respect.

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A little while back, I made a lesson about how to be polite

and show respect in English.

It really focused on how to say no politely,

how to make polite requests and suggestions

but it did get me thinking about showing respect

in English because many other languages have really specific

pronouns or ways to address

older people or people who you respect.

My Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese students will all know

how important those pronouns are when addressing

family members or people who are older than you.

I mean it's built into your languages, isn't it?

So how do you do that? How do you show that same respect

when you're communicating in English?

We don't have many pronouns that show respect in

general everyday language but you can show respect in other ways

and the most important way to show respect in English is by

greeting someone properly.

It's going to set the tone for the whole conversation

and most people choose to greet with a really informal

hello, hi, hey.

Casual and friendly way to say hello right?

Perfectly acceptable greeting but if you deliberately want to show

respect to someone you can make your language

a little more formal.

You can say:

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening.

All of these expressions are really common, you know them,

but just by choosing these greetings you're instantly sounding

more polite and showing more respect

and if you're meeting someone that you respect for the first time,

you might also add: It's a pleasure to meet you.

Good afternoon, it's a pleasure to meet you.

Just remember, you wouldn't actually say "good night"

when you greet someone right because "good night" indicates

that you're leaving, it's a little more like goodbye.

All right let's talk about addressing someone with respect.

I know in lots of the Asian cultures where I've lived there have been

specific pronouns used to show respect especially when you're

referring to someone who's older than you, you might say

auntie or uncle.

How do you show respect in your language? Do you have

some similar pronouns like this? Something that you use

to show respect to those who are older?

Let me know down in the comments, I'm really interested to hear

from you.

Like I said in English we don't have many specific titles that

immediately show respect but there are some exceptions

made for certain professions. So we address doctors by saying

Dr. Jones with their surname.

Maybe for some professors, you might do the same

thing, Professor Saunders.

In a formal situation or definitely at school,

we would use a certain title followed by a person's name

so it would be Miss

Emma Jakobi or Miss Jakobi for a woman.

Mr Smith

or Mrs Smith if it was a married woman.

Now some teachers and especially teachers at language schools

or even tutors at universities,

they may just prefer you to call them by their first name

and if you're unsure about what to call them

you can politely ask them by saying:

How should I address you?

Should I call you Mr Turner?

That way, you'll find out exactly what they expect

and what they feel comfortable with.

Now what I do want to talk to you about are the titles that are not

often used and sometimes can seem so formal

that they make people feel a little uncomfortable

especially if they're used in the wrong context.

Sir and madam or ma'am

are not very common in Australia or in the UK.

However, they may be heard a little more often in parts of the US

especially in customer service

or with people who are involved in the military.

And I know that for some of you it might seem strange

or even a little rude to call your manager or your boss

by their first name.

You might instinctively want to refer to your boss as

boss.

Good morning boss! Can I help you with that boss?

But to many English speakers, this would feel a little strange.

They may feel more comfortable if you just refer to them by their

first name.

Now the trick is when someone introduces themselves

to you, you just need to listen to the name that they use.

They're telling you how to address them.

The most respectful thing that you can do

is to call them the name that they have offered to you

because if you choose to call them something else

because you think that's more respectful,

it's kind of showing disrespect by not calling them what they want

you to call them.

Excuse me goes a long, long way in English.

When you want to show someone respect, this phrase is essential.

It's always awkward to interrupt someone when they're speaking

or maybe when they're doing something else

especially when you're talking to your superior at work.

Sometimes it's got to be done

and the most respectful way to do this is to say:

Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt. Would you mind helping me...?

It's also a good way to ask someone to move out of the way.

Excuse me, would you mind if I get past?

Oh sure.

It might seem simple but please and thank you are essential too.

English speakers know that as a child this was

one of the first things that you were taught.

When I was growing up my parents were adamant

that my brothers and I were always saying please and thank you

when we wanted something. We wouldn't get it

without those words.

In some languages, they're not as important as they are in English.

Please and thank you are just so important in English

when you are trying to show respect.

When you make a really simple request,

if it's just pass the salt add please.

Please pass the salt.

Could you please pass me the salt?

Could you pass the salt, please?

And then of course, when you get the salt,

you'd say thank you.

And that person, if they're showing respect will also say

you're welcome.

These are all really common phrases that are essential

if you are trying to show respect to someone in English.

Now if you remember at the beginning of this lesson I said that

for English speakers, the way that you show respect

is also based on your actions, not just words.

So let's talk about some examples.

Be on time. Be punctual.

Do you know that word? Punctual.

So if you're punctual, it means that you're on time

and I know that for many different cultures it's not really a big deal

if you're late but in most English-speaking countries,

people place a lot of emphasis on being on time.

It's quite disrespectful to be late

and to keep someone waiting for you.

So maybe you're late to work, you're late for a class.

It's just not that acceptable so you want to try and be on time

and if you're not going to be on time

let them know, send a text, an email, make a call

and let them know that you're going to be running late.

Five or ten minutes might be ok but anything longer than that

and you're showing disrespect.

Another important and respectful action that people in

English-speaking countries really value

is listening.

So if someone is talking and you start checking your phone or

doodling on your notepad or talking to a friend,

that is being disrespectful and so in this situation

it's your actions that is speaking much, much louder than words.

Don't push in.

Waiting patiently for your turn is a hallmark of respect

in English-speaking cultures. If you push in, you're sending a

big loud message to everyone else who's waiting that you don't

care about them or how long they've been waiting.

Now I know that in some cultures it's completely acceptable

for older people or certain people to move to the front of a line

and to kind of jostle in front of someone but this is extremely

disrespectful in western cultures.

and in English-speaking countries

It is seen as very polite and very respectful to offer your place

to someone who needs it

but not to push in because you're older or because you need it.

You would always ask politely.

Usually, I have a little challenge at the end for you

but for this lesson, I'd like you to share what is respectful

and disrespectful in your culture.

So down in the comments, can you tell me

how you show respect in your native language or culture?

Do you greet or address people differently

because of their age or their status?

And what actions are seen as disrespectful?

I think it's fascinating that we all have different ways of showing

respect in our different cultures through language or through our

actions but it is really important to understand and to learn

how to show respect in different cultures and of course,

make sure we're not being disrespectful.

So I hope this video has given you some new ideas about how you

can show more respect in English,

I've given you some great tools to use to greet people respectfully,

to address people respectfully or in the right way

and showing respect through your actions,

the things that you do.

So you know what to do now, you want to take these tools

and go out and test them out in the real world.

And if you haven't checked out these lessons here yet

I think you should, you'll love them.

Have an amazing week and I will see you next time!