Peachy Liv: How to protect your mental well-being online -- from a Gen-Zer | TED

Transcriber:

When I was 12, I had a dream to tell one million young people

that it is possible to close the gap between how learning should feel like

and how it actually feels.

All my friends went to school out of pressure to compete

in gaining the highest grades,

which leads to depending their self-worth on numbers,

normalizing cheating and hating school.

I had this mission because I wanted young people

to fight for our right to have an education

that encourages us to learn out of internal curiosity

instead of external pressure,

and one that feels rewarding, fun, self-fulfilling and collaborative.

So I thought if I could talk in front of a thousand people at a time,

I would just need to do that a thousand times

and then I would reach a million people, right?

Until I realized that I could reach millions of people all at once online.

For me, realizing that felt like finding a superpower.

That's when I started my journey as an educational content creator

and changemaker.

So I created videos that challenge students to find the subjects

they are curious and passionate about,

provided tips on making learning fun

and demonstrated how technology could transform how we learn

and help us reach our fullest potentials.

Since then, my videos on YouTube have been viewed more than 55 million times.

Plus, I've helped create social activism through my online work,

starting online movements that encourage young people

to speak up about their own concerns in education

and share how they take action to solve them.

I also became more involved with the online community of UNICEF

and U-Report Indonesia.

As a U-Report ambassador,

I initiated large projects

and invited other changemakers to join forces.

For example, I coordinated a workshop on digital tools

and other 21st century skills

to help build the capacity of hundreds of young people.

I've had so many wonderful opportunities through UNICEF and U-Report

and my own YouTube channel

to try to positively shape the world for the better.

But I also discovered some downsides.

The downsides that I’m afraid too many young people have experienced

from being online.

If you have a strong voice online,

especially as a young person

and especially as someone trying to make change in the world,

there is definitely pushback.

It's like by giving advice,

people think you're putting yourself on a pedestal,

and so people try to knock you down.

For instance, one of the things I've talked about a lot

is the possibility for Indonesian students

to study abroad.

Of course, that meant people expected me to prove it was possible

by studying abroad myself,

and I really wanted to.

Although I got into my dream university in Canada,

I didn't get the scholarship I needed to afford attending.

And when people kept posting online, saying things like,

"Why are you not in Canada?

That's why you shouldn't be dreaming too high,"

I felt embarrassed and so insecure about myself.

Whether you have one follower on social media or one million,

you've probably known this feeling.

Or maybe you don't post the truth about your life

because you're afraid to be judged.

I think the first part of the solution comes from within.

It starts with self-awareness.

When we feel pressured

by a certain expectation imposed by others,

it usually indicates that that same expectation

is also coming from within us.

I was disappointed in myself and sad

that I couldn't live up to my own expectations.

I realized that I expected myself to be an excellent role model

who could prove that everything is possible,

which is the actual source of why I felt this massive pressure in the first place.

The other part we need to work on inside ourselves is self-acceptance,

which means embracing our flaws and failures

as important parts of what makes us human.

Through time, I was able to accept that I am allowed to make mistakes,

that the only people who don't fail are the people who don't try.

And I was trying to do great things,

so, of course, I would face some challenges, right?

I think if we all find some self-awareness and self-acceptance,

then we can adjust.

It is so, so important to adjust our expectations

to be more aligned and realistic to our own current situation.

So instead of expecting myself to prove everything is possible,

now I focus more on proving that we can always learn from our failures

and use what we've learned to help other people.

But let's be clear, we can't address the hardships of social media,

especially things like cyberbullying, with individual resilience alone.

Because worldwide, more than one-third of young people

have reported experiencing cyberbullying online.

And so the other thing we must do is treat each other better in social media

and online communities in general.

After all, I've been attacked,

criticized and harassed even when I posted things out of good intentions.

In some cases, I've received some very extreme and disturbing messages.

Being bullied online feels especially humiliating

because of the scale:

more people attacking you online than you even know in real life.

And this happens to everyone in some way online,

not just to people with big followings.

So I really think if we want better online spaces,

we have to each play a role in creating them

by committing to treat each other with kindness and respect,

even when we disagree.

So before we leave a comment, we should always ask ourselves:

How would I feel if I were the one receiving this comment?

And if you are being harassed or bullied online or offline,

please, please, please ask for help and support.

Being resilient does not mean we have to face things alone.

We could be vulnerable at the same time,

reaching out and talking to trusted people

like our parents, best friends,

teachers or even psychologists.

In my case, I told my parents what I was going through,

and they kept me strong in resisting the urge to quit social media.

I also went to a psychologist to help me

overcome the mental health issues I faced due to cyberbullying.

She suggested that I take a break from social media,

to ground myself instead of quitting for good,

and that was actually great advice.

It helped me gain some important perspective.

To be sure, there are bigger dynamics at play

that require the leadership of social media platforms

and the government

to make sure we're as safe as possible online,

especially in the case of kids.

These are complex issues,

and while we can work as individuals to be more resilient

and as communities to be more kind and careful with each other,

systemic problems ultimately need systemic solutions.

These technologies are our future,

and we need to make sure that future is healthy and safe for us.

In the end, for me, when I took a break from social media,

it helped me to really reflect on why I do this,

why I use online tools to educate and engage my peers.

And I realized my motivation used to be extrinsic,

wanting people to be helped and be inspired.

I hadn't really meant to, but by posting content for other people,

I was depending my sense of impact and even self-worth

to what other people thought or said about me.

But now I've realized my motivation is and should always be intrinsic,

wanting to try my best in sharing what I've learned

because it gives me fulfillment and purpose.

There is a difference.

Extrinsic motivations depend on results that are out of our control

while intrinsic motivations depend on things we could do

that are under our control.

We will be less likely to take external feedback to heart

if we do things online out of intrinsic motivations.

What we do online and offline,

we should do simply because we believe it is the right thing to do.

So I have a question for you.

What’s your personal mission for being on social media,

and what will you do to fight for it?

I would love to see more young people becoming catalysts of change

by harnessing the power of social media --

and do so not by sacrificing our mental health

but by being equipped with self-sustaining tools

and engaging on platforms that are nurturing and strengthening

for individuals and our world.

I may not be going to Canada, but I am going to the future.

No matter what.

Technology is my generation's tool to fight for the future we want to see.

It should help us, not hurt us.

Thank you.