LIVE: English Conversation Lesson: Relationships!

2,314,151 views ใƒป 2019-01-25

Speak English With Vanessa


์•„๋ž˜ ์˜๋ฌธ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ”ํด๋ฆญํ•˜์‹œ๋ฉด ์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋ฒˆ์—ญ๋œ ์ž๋ง‰์€ ๊ธฐ๊ณ„ ๋ฒˆ์—ญ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.

00:01
Vanessa: Hello.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ์•ˆ๋…•ํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
00:03
Hello.
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์•ˆ๋…•ํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
00:04
Welcome to today's special live English lesson here on the Speak English with Vanessa YouTube
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์˜ค๋Š˜ Speak English with Vanessa YouTube
00:09
Channel.
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์ฑ„๋„์˜ ํŠน๋ณ„ ๋ผ์ด๋ธŒ ์˜์–ด ์ˆ˜์—…์— ์˜ค์‹  ๊ฒƒ์„ ํ™˜์˜ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:10
I'm Vanessa.
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์ €๋Š” ๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:11
Dan: I'm Dan.
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๋Œ„: ์ €๋Š” ๋Œ„์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:12
Vanessa: And this is my husband Dan.
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ด์ชฝ์€ ์ œ ๋‚จํŽธ Dan์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:13
Today, we're going to be doing something a little bit special.
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์˜ค๋Š˜ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์กฐ๊ธˆ ํŠน๋ณ„ํ•œ ์ผ์„ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
00:16
Usually we talk about specific vocabulary, specific grammar points, but today we're going
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๋ณดํ†ต ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ํŠน์ • ์–ดํœ˜, ํŠน์ • ๋ฌธ๋ฒ• ํฌ์ธํŠธ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์˜ค๋Š˜์€
00:21
to be having a natural conversation with some of our top relationships, specifically romantic
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์ตœ๊ณ ์˜ ๊ด€๊ณ„, ํŠนํžˆ ๋กœ๋งจํ‹ฑํ•œ
00:28
relationship, tips.
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๊ด€๊ณ„, ํŒ๊ณผ ์ž์—ฐ์Šค๋Ÿฌ์šด ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚˜๋ˆŒ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:29
Dan: Ooh, we're going to talk about love today.
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๋Œ„: ์˜ค, ์˜ค๋Š˜์€ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•  ๊ฑฐ์˜ˆ์š”.
00:32
Vanessa: Yeah.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค. ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚˜๋ˆŒ ๊ฒƒ์ด๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์—
00:33
I feel like this is a really great chance for you because we're going to be just having
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์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ์ •๋ง ์ข‹์€ ๊ธฐํšŒ๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐ
00:37
a conversation together, but as we say new vocabulary, we're going to try to explain
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์ƒˆ๋กœ์šด ๋‹จ์–ด๋ฅผ ๋งํ•  ๋•Œ ์ตœ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์„ค๋ช…ํ•˜๋ ค๊ณ  ๋…ธ๋ ฅํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
00:43
it as best as we can.
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.
00:44
Dan: Sure.
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๋Œ„: ๋ฌผ๋ก ์ด์ฃ .
00:45
Vanessa: This is something that doesn't happen when you're having a conversation with someone
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Vanessa:
00:49
in your office or maybe a friend from another country.
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์‚ฌ๋ฌด์‹ค์— ์žˆ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด๋‚˜ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋‚˜๋ผ์—์„œ ์˜จ ์นœ๊ตฌ์™€ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚˜๋ˆŒ ๋•Œ๋Š” ์ด๋Ÿฐ ์ผ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚˜์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:53
You're just having a conversation, but there's not a chance to stop and talk about the words
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์„ ๋ฟ, ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š” ๋‹จ์–ด์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋ฉˆ์ถ”๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ๊ธฐํšŒ๊ฐ€ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
00:58
that you're using.
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.
00:59
So hopefully today during our conversation, as new vocabulary comes up, as new vocabulary
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์˜ค๋Š˜ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๋Œ€ํ™” ์ค‘์— ์ƒˆ๋กœ์šด ์–ดํœ˜๊ฐ€ ๋‚˜์˜ฌ ๋•Œ, ์ƒˆ๋กœ์šด ์–ดํœ˜๊ฐ€
01:05
arises ... That's a great phrasal verb.
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๋‚˜์˜ฌ ๋•Œ ... ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ํ›Œ๋ฅญํ•œ ๊ตฌ๋™์‚ฌ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:07
It comes up.
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๋‚˜ํƒ€๋‚ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:08
We're going to explain it as best as we can.
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์ตœ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์„ค๋ช…ํ•ด๋“œ๋ฆฌ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:10
Make sure to take some notes.
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๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ๋ฉ”๋ชจ๋ฅผ ์ž‘์„ฑํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
01:12
Make sure to review this if you need to for the vocabulary and also for any romantic relationship
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์–ดํœ˜์™€
01:18
tips that we have to offer.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์ œ๊ณตํ•ด์•ผ ํ•˜๋Š” ๋‚ญ๋งŒ์ ์ธ ๊ด€๊ณ„์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ํŒ์ด ํ•„์š”ํ•œ ๊ฒฝ์šฐ ์ด๊ฒƒ์„ ๊ฒ€ํ† ํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
01:20
Dan: We're going to give some tips today.
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Dan: ์˜ค๋Š˜์€ ๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ํŒ์„ ๋“œ๋ฆฌ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:22
Although, these are just very personal tips, right?
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์ด๊ฒƒ๋“ค์€ ์ง€๊ทนํžˆ ๊ฐœ์ธ์ ์ธ ํŒ์ผ ๋ฟ์ด์ฃ  ?
01:25
Vanessa: Yeah.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
01:26
Dan: Every relationship is unique, right?
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Dan: ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ด€๊ณ„๋Š” ๋…ํŠนํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:28
Vanessa: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
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Vanessa: Mm-hmm(๊ธ์ •).
01:29
Dan: I would say we have a very unique relationship.
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Dan: ์ €๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๋งค์šฐ ๋…ํŠนํ•œ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:31
We're both kind of unusual people.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๋‘˜ ๋‹ค ํŠน์ดํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:34
Vanessa: So, let's start with a couple pieces of factual information.
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Vanessa: ์ž, ๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์‚ฌ์‹ค์ ์ธ ์ •๋ณด๋ถ€ํ„ฐ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•˜๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:40
How long have we ... This is a kind of test.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์–ผ๋งˆ๋‚˜ ์˜ค๋ž˜ ... ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์ผ์ข…์˜ ํ…Œ์ŠคํŠธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:42
How long- Dan: Oh, it's a test for me.
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์–ผ๋งˆ๋‚˜ ์˜ค๋ž˜- ๋Œ„: ์˜ค, ๋‚˜์—๊ฒŒ ์‹œํ—˜์ด์•ผ.
01:44
Vanessa: How long have we been married?
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Vanessa: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๊ฒฐํ˜ผํ•œ ์ง€ ์–ผ๋งˆ๋‚˜ ๋์–ด?
01:46
Dan: We've been married eight years.
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๋Œ„: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฒฐํ˜ผํ•œ ์ง€ 8๋…„์ด ๋˜์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:48
Vanessa: Oh, he passed the test.
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Vanessa: ์˜ค, ๊ทธ๋Š” ์‹œํ—˜์— ํ•ฉ๊ฒฉํ–ˆ์–ด.
01:50
Dan: Woo!
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๋Œ„: ์šฐ!
01:51
Vanessa: This year in August it will be nine years.
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Vanessa: ์˜ฌํ•ด 8์›”์ด๋ฉด 9 ๋…„์ฐจ๊ฐ€ ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:55
So, we've been married eight and a half years or so.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฒฐํ˜ผํ•œ ์ง€ 8๋…„ ๋ฐ˜ ์ •๋„ ๋˜์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:58
Dan: Which is a long time for the average American of our age, because we're only 30.
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Dan: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๋‚˜์ด์˜ ํ‰๊ท ์ ์ธ ๋ฏธ๊ตญ์ธ์—๊ฒŒ๋Š” ๊ธด ์‹œ๊ฐ„์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฒจ์šฐ 30์‚ด์ด๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:03
Vanessa: One.
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Vanessa: ํ•œ ๋ฒˆ.
02:04
Dan: 31.
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๋Œ„: 31์‚ด.
02:05
Oh, we're 31.
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์•„, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ 31์‚ด์ด์—์š”.
02:06
So, we've been married a little while.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๊ฒฐํ˜ผํ•œ ์ง€ ์ข€ ๋์–ด์š”.
02:08
Vanessa: Yes.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
02:09
When did we meet each other?
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์–ธ์ œ ๋งŒ๋‚ฌ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
02:11
Dan: We met each other the very first day of college.
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๋Œ„: ๋Œ€ํ•™๊ต ์ฒซ๋‚ ์— ๋งŒ๋‚ฌ์–ด์š” .
02:15
Vanessa: And I was- Dan: Which is university in other countries.
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ €๋Š”- Dan: ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋‚˜๋ผ์˜ ๋Œ€ํ•™์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:18
Vanessa: Yes, so I was 17 years old, but I was almost 18.
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Vanessa: ๋„ค, ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ œ๊ฐ€ 17์‚ด์ด์—ˆ๋Š”๋ฐ ๊ฑฐ์˜ 18์‚ด์ด์—ˆ์–ด์š”.
02:22
The next week was my birthday, so I was pretty much 18 years old and you were 18, too, right?
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๋‹ค์Œ ์ฃผ๊ฐ€ ์ œ ์ƒ์ผ์ด์–ด์„œ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๊ฑฐ์˜ 18์‚ด์ด์—ˆ๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ๋„ 18์‚ด์ด์—ˆ์ฃ ?
02:27
Dan: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
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๋Œ„: ์Œ-ํ (๊ธ์ •).
02:28
Yeah.
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์‘.
02:29
Vanessa: So, we've known each other for quite a long time from 18 to 31.
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” 18์„ธ๋ถ€ํ„ฐ 31์„ธ๊นŒ์ง€ ๊ฝค ์˜ค๋žซ๋™์•ˆ ์„œ๋กœ๋ฅผ ์•Œ๊ณ  ์ง€๋ƒˆ์–ด์š”. ๊ทธ๊ฒŒ
02:32
What is that?
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๋ญ์ฃ ?
02:34
13 years?
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13๋…„?
02:35
A long time.
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์˜ค๋žœ๋งŒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:37
A lot has happened during that time.
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๊ทธ ๋™์•ˆ ๋งŽ์€ ์ผ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚ฌ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:40
I think knowing someone, being in a relationship with someone for 13 years is normal for maybe
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ์•Œ๊ณ , ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์™€ 13๋…„ ๋™์•ˆ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ์œ ์ง€ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์•„๋งˆ๋„
02:48
our parent's generation, but for our generation it's something that's a little bit surprising.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๋ถ€๋ชจ ์„ธ๋Œ€์—๊ฒŒ๋Š” ์ •์ƒ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์„ธ๋Œ€์—๊ฒŒ๋Š” ์กฐ๊ธˆ ๋†€๋ผ์šด ์ผ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:54
When people meet us, they're surprised that we are 31 and we've been married for eight
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์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ๋งŒ๋‚˜๋ฉด ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ 31์‚ด์ด๊ณ  ๊ฒฐํ˜ผํ•œ ์ง€ 8
02:59
years.
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๋…„์ด ๋˜์—ˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ์‚ฌ์‹ค์— ๋†€๋ž€๋‹ค.
03:00
Dan: Yeah, and that we've only dated each other for a really long time.
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Dan: ๊ทธ๋ž˜, ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ •๋ง ์˜ค๋žซ๋™์•ˆ ๋ฐ์ดํŠธ๋ฅผ ํ•ด์™”๋‹ค.
03:03
Vanessa: Yes.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
03:04
Dan: That's not very usual, I don't think.
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Dan: ๊ทธ๊ฑด ๋ณดํ†ต ์ผ์ด ์•„๋‹Œ ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์•„์š”.
03:05
Vanessa: Yeah, and that we still like each other.
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Vanessa: ์˜ˆ, ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์—ฌ์ „ํžˆ ์„œ๋กœ๋ฅผ ์ข‹์•„ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
03:07
I think that there's a lot of- Dan: Do we?
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๋งŽ์ด ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์•„์š”- ๋Œ„: ๊ทธ๋ ‡์ฃ ?
03:10
Vanessa: You'll find out today.
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Vanessa: ์˜ค๋Š˜ ์•Œ๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:12
Dan: We do.
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๋Œ„: ๊ทธ๋ ‡์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:13
Vanessa: There's a lot of things that we do in our relationship or principles that we
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Vanessa: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๊ฑด๊ฐ•ํ•˜๊ณ  ๊ฐ•ํ•œ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ์œ ์ง€ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ๋„์›€์ด ๋˜๋Š” ๊ด€๊ณ„๋‚˜ ์›์น™์—์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ•˜๋Š” ์ผ์ด ๋งŽ์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
03:17
have that have really helped us to maintain a healthy, strong relationship, and those
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. ์˜ค๋Š˜
03:22
are the two words that I want to focus on today is having a healthy relationship, not
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์ง‘์ค‘ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ๋‘ ๋‹จ์–ด๋Š” ๊ฑด๊ฐ•ํ•œ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๊ฐ–๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:28
just how to find a boyfriend.
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๋‚จ์ž ์นœ๊ตฌ๋ฅผ ์ฐพ๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•๋ฟ๋งŒ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ.
03:30
I can't give you advice on that, but ... or find a girlfriend.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์กฐ์–ธ์„ ๋“œ๋ฆด ์ˆ˜๋Š” ์—†์ง€๋งŒ ... ๋˜๋Š” ์—ฌ์ž ์นœ๊ตฌ๋ฅผ ์ฐพ์œผ์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
03:35
But having a healthy relationship and having a strong relationship, it means that you feel
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๊ฑด์ „ํ•œ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๋งบ๊ณ  ๋ˆ๋…ํ•œ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๋งบ๋Š”๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€
03:40
confident in your relationship.
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๊ด€๊ณ„์— ์ž์‹ ๊ฐ์„ ๋Š๋‚€๋‹ค๋Š” ๋œป์ด๋‹ค.
03:43
You feel confident in yourself- Dan: Yes.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ž์‹ ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ž์‹ ๊ฐ์„ ๋Š๋‚๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. Dan: ์˜ˆ.
03:44
Vanessa: ... when you're part of that relationship.
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Vanessa: ... ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ทธ ๊ด€๊ณ„์˜ ์ผ๋ถ€์ผ ๋•Œ์š”.
03:46
Dan: And it means it will last a long time.
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Dan: ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ์˜ค๋ž˜ ์ง€์†๋œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:49
If you want to have children, it will be a good relationship to have children.
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์ž๋…€๋ฅผ ๊ฐ–๊ณ  ์‹ถ์œผ๋ฉด ์ž๋…€๋ฅผ ๊ฐ–๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ข‹์€ ๊ด€๊ณ„๊ฐ€ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:53
Because really, if you're going to get married, it's probably mostly to have children, in
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์‚ฌ์‹ค ๊ฒฐํ˜ผ์„ ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋œ๋‹ค๋ฉด ์ œ ๊ฐœ์ธ์ ์ธ ์ƒ๊ฐ์œผ๋กœ๋Š” ์•„๋งˆ๋„ ๋Œ€๋ถ€๋ถ„ ์•„์ด๋ฅผ ๊ฐ–๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด์„œ์ผ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
03:58
my personal opinion.
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.
03:59
Vanessa: So today, before we get started, I'd like to give a couple disclaimers.
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Vanessa: ์˜ค๋Š˜์€ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์ „์— ๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ๋ฉด์ฑ… ์กฐํ•ญ์„ ๋“œ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ์ž ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:05
First of all, we have a unique situation that we met each other when we were young.
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์šฐ์„  ์–ด๋ฆด ๋•Œ ๋งŒ๋‚œ ๋…ํŠนํ•œ ์‚ฌ์—ฐ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค.
04:11
All of these are personal tips, but that's all we can do is share from our personal lives.
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์ด ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ฐœ์ธ์ ์ธ ํŒ์ด์ง€๋งŒ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ฐœ์ธ ์ƒํ™œ์—์„œ ๊ณต์œ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๋ฟ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:15
We have not been married for 50 years.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” 50๋…„ ๋™์•ˆ ๊ฒฐํ˜ผํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์•˜์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:18
I know there are plenty of people who have been together much longer than us, so take
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋ณด๋‹ค ํ›จ์”ฌ ๋” ์˜ค๋ž˜ ํ•จ๊ป˜ํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ๋งŽ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฑธ ์•Œ๊ณ  ์žˆ์œผ๋‹ˆ ์ ๋‹นํžˆ ๋ฐ›์•„๋“ค์ด์„ธ์š”
04:24
it with a grain of salt.
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.
04:25
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
04:26
But, apparently it's working.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ ๋ถ„๋ช…ํžˆ ์ž‘๋™ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:27
Vanessa: It's working so far.
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Vanessa: ์ง€๊ธˆ๊นŒ์ง€ ์ž‘๋™ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:28
I'm curious, can we talk about that first expression?
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๊ถ๊ธˆํ•ด์„œ ๊ทธ ์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ํ‘œํ˜„์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ ?
04:31
Because this is key for all of our tips today.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ์˜ค๋Š˜๋‚  ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์˜ ๋ชจ๋“  ํŒ์˜ ํ•ต์‹ฌ์ด๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:33
Dan: Which one?
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๋Œ„: ์–ด๋Š ๊ฒƒ?
04:34
Vanessa: Take it with a grain of salt.
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Vanessa: ์†Œ๊ธˆ ํ•œ ์•Œ๊ณผ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ๊ฐ€์ ธ๊ฐ€์„ธ์š”.
04:35
Dan: Take it with a grain of salt.
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๋Œ„: ์†Œ๊ธˆ ํ•œ ์•Œ๊ณผ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ๊ฐ€์ ธ๊ฐ€์„ธ์š”.
04:36
Vanessa: Take it with a grain of salt.
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Vanessa: ์†Œ๊ธˆ ํ•œ ์•Œ๊ณผ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ๊ฐ€์ ธ๊ฐ€์„ธ์š”.
04:38
What does that mean?
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๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ๋ฌด์Šจ ๋œป์ด์•ผ?
04:39
Dan: This is an expression that just means don't take everything we say word for word
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Dan: ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊ทธ๋Œ€๋กœ ๋ฐ›์•„๋“ค์ด์ง€ ์•Š๊ณ 
04:45
and believe everything.
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๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ฏฟ๋Š”๋‹ค๋Š” ํ‘œํ˜„์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:46
Vanessa: Yeah, it's just- Dan: We think you should believe it, but it's-
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Vanessa: ์˜ˆ, ๊ทธ๋ƒฅ- Dan: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ฏฟ์–ด์•ผ ํ•œ๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€-
04:50
Vanessa: [inaudible 00:04:50].
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Vanessa: [๋“ค๋ฆฌ์ง€ ์•Š์Œ 00:04:50].
04:51
Dan: Basically, just remember that it's our opinion.
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Dan: ๊ธฐ๋ณธ์ ์œผ๋กœ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์˜ ์˜๊ฒฌ์ด๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
04:54
Vanessa: Yeah, it's just our opinion.
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Vanessa: ๋„ค, ์ €ํฌ ์ƒ๊ฐ์ผ ๋ฟ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:56
It's just something that's worked for us.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ์œ„ํ•ด ์ผํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:57
So, you can use this expression if ... It's great if you're giving advice if you want
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ, ์ด๋Ÿฐ ํ‘œํ˜„์„ ์“ฐ๋ฉด ๋˜๋Š”๋ฐ... ๊ฒธ์†ํ•ด์ง€๊ณ  ์‹ถ์„ ๋•Œ ์กฐ์–ธ์„ ํ•ด์ค€๋‹ค๋ฉด ์ข‹์•„์š”
05:03
to be humble.
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05:04
Because, you're not saying ... I don't want say, "My relationship advice is the best advice."
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์™œ๋ƒ๋ฉด ๋‹น์‹ ์€ "๋‚ด ์—ฐ์•  ์กฐ์–ธ์ด ์ตœ๊ณ ์˜ ์กฐ์–ธ์ด์•ผ"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€ ์•Š๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:10
No, no, no.
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์•„๋‹ˆ, ์•„๋‹ˆ.
05:11
I don't want say that because it's just my personal experience.
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์ œ ๊ฐœ์ธ์ ์ธ ๊ฒฝํ—˜์ด๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
05:14
So if you give someone advice, maybe you know some things about cars and your friends asks
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์—๊ฒŒ ์กฐ์–ธ์„ ํ•œ๋‹ค๋ฉด, ์•„๋งˆ๋„ ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ž๋™์ฐจ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋Š ์ •๋„ ์•Œ๊ณ  ์žˆ์„ ๊ฒƒ์ด๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์นœ๊ตฌ๋“ค์€
05:22
you, "Can you look at the tires of my car?
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๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ "๋‚ด ์ฐจ ํƒ€์ด์–ด ์ข€ ๋ณผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‚˜์š”?
05:25
I think something's wrong."
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๋ญ”๊ฐ€ ์ž˜๋ชป๋œ ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์•„์š”."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ฌผ์„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:27
You could give some advice, but then you might say, "Well, take it with a grain of salt.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์กฐ์–ธ์„ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์ง€๋งŒ "๊ธ€์Ž„์š”, ์†Œ๊ธˆ ํ•œ ์•Œ๊ณผ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ๊ฐ€์ ธ ๊ฐ€์„ธ์š”.
05:31
I'm an amateur.
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์ €๋Š” ์•„๋งˆ์ถ”์–ด์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:32
You should just go to a mechanic."
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ •๋น„์‚ฌ์—๊ฒŒ ๊ฐ€์•ผํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:34
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
05:35
Vanessa: So, just please take our advice with Take it with a grain of salt.
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‹ˆ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์˜ ์กฐ์–ธ์„ ๋ฐ›์•„๋“ค์—ฌ ์ฃผ์„ธ์š” .
05:39
This lovely idiom.
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์ด ์‚ฌ๋ž‘์Šค๋Ÿฌ์šด ๊ด€์šฉ๊ตฌ.
05:40
And let's start with our first tip today.
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์˜ค๋Š˜ ์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ํŒ๋ถ€ํ„ฐ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•˜๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:42
Dan: Yeah, should we start with the first one?
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Dan: ๋„ค, ์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ๋ถ€ํ„ฐ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ• ๊นŒ์š” ?
05:43
Vanessa: Yeah.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
05:44
Dan: Sure.
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๋Œ„: ๋ฌผ๋ก ์ด์ฃ .
05:45
Vanessa: Dan gave a couple tips.
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Vanessa: Dan์ด ๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ํŒ์„ ์ฃผ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:46
I give a couple tips.
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๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ํŒ์„ ๋“œ๋ฆฝ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:47
Dan: My first tip is more for the beginning of your relationship.
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Dan: ๋‚ด ์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ํŒ์€ ๊ด€๊ณ„์˜ ์‹œ์ž‘์„ ์œ„ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
05:50
So, it's not even really during your relationship at all.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ, ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๊ด€๊ณ„ ์ค‘์—๋„ ์ „ํ˜€ ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
05:55
This is the pregame, we might say.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์‚ฌ์ „ ๊ฒŒ์ž„์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:57
And that is to make sure you're a good fit at the beginning.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์ฒ˜์Œ์— ์ž˜ ๋งž๋Š”์ง€ ํ™•์ธํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
06:01
So, we can talk about the expression good fit.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ข‹์€ ์ ํ•ฉ๋„๋ผ๋Š” ํ‘œํ˜„์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
06:03
So, it's kind of like clothes, right?
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์˜ท๊ณผ ๋น„์Šทํ•˜์ฃ ?
06:05
Vanessa: Yes.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
06:06
This shirt is a good fit for Dan.
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์ด ์…”์ธ ๋Š” Dan์—๊ฒŒ ์ž˜ ๋งž์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:08
It's not too big.
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๋„ˆ๋ฌด ํฌ์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:09
It's not too small.
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๋„ˆ๋ฌด ์ž‘์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:10
It fits his body.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ทธ์˜ ๋ชธ์— ๋งž์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:11
Dan: It's a good fit.
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๋Œ„: ์ž˜ ๋งž์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:12
Vanessa: Yes.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
06:13
Dan: But, you can use that for people in relationships, too, right?
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๋Œ„: ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ, ์—ฐ์• ํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์—๊ฒŒ๋„ ์“ธ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ฒ ์ฃ  ?
06:16
So, I would say Vanessa and I are a good fit.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ €๋Š” Vanessa์™€ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์ž˜ ๋งž๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:19
Vanessa: You can kind of imagine maybe a puzzle piece that your personalities fit together.
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Vanessa: ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์„ฑ๊ฒฉ์ด ๋งž์ถฐ์ง€๋Š” ํผ์ฆ ์กฐ๊ฐ์„ ์ƒ์ƒํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:26
So if you meet someone and you think, "Oh, this person is a wonderful match for my-"
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ๋งŒ๋‚ฌ์„ ๋•Œ "์•„, ์ด ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ๋‚˜๋ž‘ ์ •๋ง ์ž˜ ์–ด์šธ๋ ค..."๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•œ๋‹ค๋ฉด
06:33
Dan: Good fit, not feet.
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๋Œ„: ๋ฐœ์ด ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ ์ž˜ ๋งž์•„์š”.
06:34
Vanessa: Yeah, not your feet.
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Vanessa: ๋„ค, ๋ฐœ ๋ง๊ณ ์š”.
06:36
Dan: Fit.
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๋Œ„: ๋งž๋‹ค.
06:37
Vanessa: A fit.
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Vanessa: ์ ํ•ฉํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:38
F-I-T.
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๋งž๋‹ค.
06:39
You could say, "Oh, I'm so excited because we've already been on three dates and we're
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"์˜ค, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๋ฒŒ์จ ์„ธ ๋ฒˆ์ด๋‚˜ ๋ฐ์ดํŠธ๋ฅผ ํ–ˆ๊ณ 
06:42
such a good fit for each other."
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์„œ๋กœ ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ์ž˜ ๋งž์•„์„œ ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ํฅ๋ถ„๋ผ์š”."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:44
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
06:45
Vanessa: This is great.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ํ›Œ๋ฅญํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:46
You complement each other.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์„œ๋กœ๋ฅผ ๋ณด์™„ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:47
Dan: Connected to that, I would say don't rush.
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Dan: ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ๊ณผ ๊ด€๋ จํ•ด์„œ ์„œ๋‘๋ฅด์ง€ ๋ง๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
06:49
So, don't rush into a relationship.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‹ˆ ๊ธ‰ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๋งบ์ง€ ๋งˆ์„ธ์š”.
06:53
For example, for Vanessa and I, we knew each other for six months before we even dated.
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์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ๋“ค์–ด Vanessa์™€ ์ €๋Š” ๋ฐ์ดํŠธ๋ฅผ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์ „ 6๊ฐœ์›” ๋™์•ˆ ์„œ๋กœ๋ฅผ ์•Œ๊ณ  ์žˆ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:02
After dating, we didn't live together for four years?
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์‚ฌ๊ท€๊ณ  ๋‚˜์„œ 4๋…„ ๋™์•ˆ ๊ฐ™์ด ์‚ด์ง€ ์•Š์•˜์–ด ?
07:05
Vanessa: Yes, and I've, of course, this is a little bit unusual.
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Vanessa: ๋„ค, ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋ฌผ๋ก , ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์•ฝ๊ฐ„ ์ด๋ก€์ ์ธ ์ผ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:08
Dan: And we were young.
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Dan: ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์–ด ๋ ธ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:09
We were young.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์–ด๋ ธ๋‹ค.
07:10
Vanessa: Because we were so young.
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Vanessa: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ์–ด๋ ธ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์—.
07:11
Dan: But, my point is that you don't want to rush into a relationship.
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Dan: ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๋‚ด ์š”์ ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ์„œ๋‘๋ฅด๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€ ์•Š๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
07:15
So maybe this happens to a guy a lot.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์•„๋งˆ๋„ ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‚จ์ž์—๊ฒŒ ๋งŽ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:17
You see a girl and she's so beautiful and you can't even contain yourself.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ํ•œ ์†Œ๋…€๋ฅผ ๋ณด๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋…€๋Š” ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ์•„๋ฆ„๋‹ค์›Œ์„œ ๋‹น์‹  ์ž์‹ ์„ ๋‹ด์„ ์ˆ˜์กฐ์ฐจ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:22
You just want to go after her and talk to her.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๋…€๋ฅผ ๋”ฐ๋ผ ๊ฐ€์„œ ๊ทธ๋…€์™€ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์„๋ฟ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
07:26
Maybe you're not a really good fit.
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์–ด์ฉŒ๋ฉด ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ •๋ง ์ ํ•ฉํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:29
You're not a really good fit personality-wise.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์„ฑ๊ฒฉ์ ์œผ๋กœ ์ •๋ง ์ž˜ ๋งž๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:30
You can't hold a conversation.
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๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:32
You don't like to go and do things together.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ๊ฐ€์„œ ์ผ์„ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:35
Well, your relationship is going to be a lot more fun and a lot more enjoyable if you know
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๊ธ€์Ž„, ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์ž˜ ๋งž๋Š”๋‹ค๋ฉด ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์‚ด๊ธฐ ์ „์— ์ฒ˜์Œ๋ถ€ํ„ฐ ์•Œ๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋Š” ํ›จ์”ฌ ๋” ์žฌ๋ฏธ์žˆ๊ณ  ํ›จ์”ฌ ๋” ์ฆ๊ฑฐ์šธ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
07:43
at the very beginning before you live together if you get along, if you're a good fit.
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.
07:49
Vanessa: Sure.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋ฌผ๋ก ์ด์ฃ .
07:50
The word that Dan used, one of you asked in the chat box, is F-I-T, fit.
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„ ์ค‘ ํ•œ ๋ช…์ด ์ฑ„ํŒ… ์ƒ์ž์—์„œ ๋ฌผ์–ด๋ณธ Dan์ด ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•œ ๋‹จ์–ด๋Š” F-I-T, fit์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:55
We are a good fit for each other.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์„œ๋กœ ์ž˜ ๋งž์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:58
Then, Dan also said, "Don't rush."
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ์ž ๋Œ„๋„ "์„œ๋‘๋ฅด์ง€ ๋งˆ"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ–ˆ๋‹ค.
08:01
R-U-S-H, R-U-S-H, rush.
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R-U-S-H, R-U-S-H, ๋Ÿฌ์‹œ.
08:03
Dan: Don't rush.
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๋Œ„: ์„œ๋‘๋ฅด์ง€ ๋งˆ.
08:04
Vanessa: Yes.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
08:05
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
08:06
Vanessa: I think this also shows confidence in yourself because if you rush, maybe you
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Vanessa: ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋˜ํ•œ ์ž์‹ ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์ž์‹ ๊ฐ์„ ๋ณด์—ฌ์ฃผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์„œ๋‘๋ฅด๋ฉด
08:14
make some fast decisions really quickly.
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๋น ๋ฅธ ๊ฒฐ์ •์„ ์ •๋ง ๋นจ๋ฆฌ ๋‚ด๋ฆด ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:16
Maybe it shows, "Oh, I need to do this or else he won't like me."
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"์˜ค, ์ด๊ฑธ ํ•ด์•ผ์ง€ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ฐ€ ๋‚˜๋ฅผ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์„ ๊ฑฐ์•ผ."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ณด์—ฌ์ค„ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:20
Well, it's okay.
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๊ดœ์ฐฎ์•„.
08:21
Make yourself comfortable.
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ํŽธ์•ˆํžˆ ์‰ฌ์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
08:22
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
08:23
Vanessa: Make yourself comfortable in your relationship.
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Vanessa: ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ํŽธ์•ˆํ•˜๊ฒŒ ํ•˜์„ธ์š” .
08:24
That's important.
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์ค‘์š”ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:25
Dan: There's another expression we can use for this.
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Dan: ์ด์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ํ‘œํ˜„์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
08:27
But sometimes this is used in medicine, but- Vanessa: Oh, yeah?
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๋•Œ๋•Œ๋กœ ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์˜ํ•™์—์„œ ์‚ฌ์šฉ๋˜์ง€๋งŒ- Vanessa: ์˜ค, ๊ทธ๋ž˜?
08:30
Dan: ... you'd say, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."
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Dan: ... ๋‹น์‹ ์€ "1 ์˜จ์Šค์˜ ์˜ˆ๋ฐฉ์€ 1 ํŒŒ์šด๋“œ์˜ ์น˜๋ฃŒ ๊ฐ€์น˜๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:34
Vanessa: Oh, this is a lovely ... This is a proverb, actually.
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Vanessa: ์˜ค, ์ด๊ฑด ์ •๋ง ์‚ฌ๋ž‘์Šค๋Ÿฝ๋„ค์š”... ์‚ฌ์‹ค ์†๋‹ด์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:36
Dan: It's a proverb.
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๋Œ„: ์†๋‹ด์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:37
Vanessa: I think Benjamin Franklin might have said this.
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Vanessa: ๋ฒค์ž๋ฏผ ํ”„๋žญํด๋ฆฐ์ด ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ–ˆ์„ ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์•„์š”.
08:40
So here- Dan: I bet some Chinese person said it.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์—ฌ๊ธฐ- ๋Œ„: ์–ด๋–ค ์ค‘๊ตญ์ธ์ด ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ–ˆ์„ ๊ฒ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:42
Vanessa: Maybe so.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๊ทธ๋Ÿด์ง€๋„ ๋ชฐ๋ผ.
08:44
Everything originated in China, right?
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๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ค‘๊ตญ์—์„œ ์‹œ์ž‘๋˜์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:45
Dan: Yeah.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
08:46
Vanessa: So, we could say an ounce of prevention ... So, this is a small quantity.
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” 1์˜จ์Šค์˜ ์˜ˆ๋ฐฉ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์†Œ๋Ÿ‰์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:50
Dan: Yeah, a little bit of prevention, which means something you do before a problem.
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Dan: ์˜ˆ, ์•ฝ๊ฐ„์˜ ์˜ˆ๋ฐฉ, ์ฆ‰ ๋ฌธ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋ฐœ์ƒํ•˜๊ธฐ ์ „์— ์ˆ˜ํ–‰ํ•˜๋Š” ์ž‘์—…์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:56
Vanessa: Helps a lot in the future.
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Vanessa: ์•ž์œผ๋กœ ๋งŽ์€ ๋„์›€์ด ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:00
So if you're careful a little bit at the beginning, it will help so much.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ดˆ๋ฐ˜์— ์กฐ๊ธˆ๋งŒ ์ฃผ์˜๋ฅผ ๊ธฐ์šธ์ด๋ฉด ๋งŽ์€ ๋„์›€์ด ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:04
We could say it will pay off.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด ๊ฐš์„ ๊ฒƒ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:06
So, Dan's advice here is at the beginning to be careful.
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์—์„œ Dan์˜ ์กฐ์–ธ์€ ์ฒ˜์Œ์— ์กฐ์‹ฌํ•˜๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:09
Choose the right person.
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์˜ฌ๋ฐ”๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์„ ์„ ํƒํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
09:10
I actually watched a TED Talk recently because I was thinking about this topic, and I had
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์‚ฌ์‹ค ์ตœ๊ทผ์— ์ด ์ฃผ์ œ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋‹ค๊ฐ€ TED Talk๋ฅผ ๋ดค๋Š”๋ฐ,
09:15
a lot of doubts because we are not perfect.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์™„๋ฒฝํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์•„์„œ ์˜์‹ฌ์ด ๋งŽ์•˜์–ด์š”.
09:18
So, I thought, "Can we give any tips or advice?
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ €๋Š” "์กฐ์–ธ์ด๋‚˜ ์กฐ์–ธ์„ ํ•ด์ค„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„๊นŒ?
09:23
We're just humans.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ธ๊ฐ„์ผ ๋ฟ์ด์•ผ.
09:24
How can we share information about this?"
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์ด๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์ •๋ณด๋ฅผ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๊ณต์œ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„๊นŒ?"๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:27
So, I did some ... a little bit of research, and I found something quite interesting.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ €๋Š” ์•ฝ๊ฐ„์˜ ์กฐ์‚ฌ๋ฅผ ํ–ˆ๊ณ  ๊ฝค ํฅ๋ฏธ๋กœ์šด ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ฐœ๊ฒฌํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:32
One of the marriage experts who I was listening to, she said usually couples seek help in
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๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋“ฃ๊ณ  ์žˆ๋˜ ๊ฒฐํ˜ผ ์ „๋ฌธ๊ฐ€ ์ค‘ ํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์€ ๋ณดํ†ต ๋ถ€๋ถ€๊ฐ€ ๋‘ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์ƒํ™ฉ์—์„œ ๋„์›€์„ ๊ตฌํ•œ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
09:40
two situations.
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.
09:42
They seek help with marital counseling, this is after you're married, you're having problems
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๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ๊ฒฐํ˜ผ ์ƒ๋‹ด์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๋„์›€์„ ๊ตฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ฒฐํ˜ผํ•˜๊ณ  ๋ฌธ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๊ณ 
09:48
and you talk to a therapist.
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์น˜๋ฃŒ์‚ฌ์™€ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:50
In that way, it's too late.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ์‹์œผ๋กœ ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋Šฆ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:52
You're already married.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ด๋ฏธ ๊ฒฐํ˜ผํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:53
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
09:54
Vanessa: Maybe you can get divorced, but that's a big deal.
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Vanessa: ์ดํ˜ผํ•  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ๊ฒ ์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ๊ฑด ํฐ์ผ์ด์•ผ.
09:56
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
09:57
Vanessa: The second situation is premarital counseling.
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Vanessa: ๋‘ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ์ƒํ™ฉ์€ ํ˜ผ์ „ ์ƒ๋‹ด์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:00
If you get married in an English-speaking country, or at least in the US, this is so
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์˜์–ด๊ถŒ ๊ตญ๊ฐ€๋‚˜ ์ ์–ด๋„ ๋ฏธ๊ตญ์—์„œ ๊ฒฐํ˜ผํ•˜๋ฉด ์ด๋Ÿฐ ์ผ์ด
10:04
common.
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ํ”ํ•˜๋‹ค.
10:05
Premarital counseling, usually you need to have some kind of therapy with maybe a pastor
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ํ˜ผ์ „ ์ƒ๋‹ด, ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์œผ๋กœ
10:10
or with someone before you get married.
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๊ฒฐํ˜ผํ•˜๊ธฐ ์ „์— ๋ชฉ์‚ฌ๋‚˜ ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์™€ ์ผ์ข…์˜ ์น˜๋ฃŒ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ›์•„์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:13
But this, the lady that I was watching, she said, "It's already almost too late because
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋ณด๊ณ  ์žˆ๋˜ ์ด ์—ฌ์„ฑ์€ "๊ฒฐํ˜ผํ•  ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์„ ์ด๋ฏธ ์„ ํƒํ–ˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์ด๋ฏธ ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋Šฆ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
10:18
you already chose the person who you're going to marry."
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."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:22
So if you have some kind of prevention in the past, if you've already thought about,
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๊ณผ๊ฑฐ์— ์–ด๋–ค ์˜ˆ๋ฐฉ์ฑ…์ด ์žˆ์—ˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด , ์ด๋ฏธ
10:27
"Who is a good fit for me?
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"๋ˆ„๊ฐ€ ๋‚˜์—๊ฒŒ ์ž˜ ๋งž์„๊นŒ?
10:29
Are we a good fit?" you really had some good insight into your relationship, then, okay,
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์ž˜ ๋งž์„๊นŒ?" ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๊ด€๊ณ„์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ •๋ง ์ข‹์€ ํ†ต์ฐฐ๋ ฅ์„ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ ‡๋‹ค๋ฉด
10:35
premarital counseling is helpful, but it's not going to change your life because you're
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ํ˜ผ์ „ ์ƒ๋‹ด์ด ๋„์›€์ด ๋˜์ง€๋งŒ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์ด๋ฏธ ์ž˜ ๋งž๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์‚ถ์„ ๋ฐ”๊พธ์ง€๋Š” ๋ชปํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
10:38
already a good fit.
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.
10:39
Dan: The most important thing is having a vision and principles for yourself and you
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๋Œ„: ๊ฐ€์žฅ ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ž์‹ ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๋น„์ „๊ณผ ์›์น™์„ ๊ฐ–๊ณ 
10:45
look at your partner or your potential partner and say, "Does this match?
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ํŒŒํŠธ๋„ˆ๋‚˜ ์ž ์žฌ์ ์ธ ํŒŒํŠธ๋„ˆ๋ฅผ ๋ณด๊ณ  "์ด๊ฑฐ ์ž˜ ์–ด์šธ๋ฆด๊นŒ?
10:49
Will this be a good fit?"
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์ž˜ ์–ด์šธ๋ฆด๊นŒ?"
10:50
Vanessa: Yes.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
10:51
So, I think this is a good time to say that for us, we are still a very normal couple
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ €๋Š” ์ง€๊ธˆ์ด ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์—๊ฒŒ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ๋ฉด์—์„œ ์—ฌ์ „ํžˆ ๋งค์šฐ ์ •์ƒ์ ์ธ ๋ถ€๋ถ€๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ์ข‹์€ ์‹œ๊ธฐ๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
11:00
in many ways.
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11:01
We still have difficulties.
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์—ฌ์ „ํžˆ ์–ด๋ ค์›€์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:03
We still argue about things.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์—ฌ์ „ํžˆ ์‚ฌ๋ฌผ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋…ผ์Ÿํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:04
Dan: We're not perfect.
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Dan: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์™„๋ฒฝํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:05
Vanessa: No, we are not perfect.
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Vanessa: ์•„๋‹ˆ์˜ค, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์™„๋ฒฝํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:07
Dan: Are we?
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๋Œ„: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€?
11:08
Vanessa: No.
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Vanessa: ์•„๋‹ˆ์š”.
11:09
I think that this is something that for the current age, when you can see things on the
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์ธํ„ฐ๋„ท์ด๋‚˜ ์†Œ์…œ ๋ฏธ๋””์–ด์—์„œ ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ๋ณผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ํ˜„ ์‹œ๋Œ€์— ์ด๋Ÿฐ ๊ฒƒ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:16
internet, when you can see things on social media, it's kind of like ... At least for
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์ ์–ด๋„
11:20
women, it's kind of like watching a romantic comedy movie.
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์—ฌ์„ฑ์—๊ฒŒ๋Š” ๋กœ๋งจํ‹ฑ ์ฝ”๋ฏธ๋”” ์˜ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋ณด๊ณ . ์˜ํ™”์—์„œ
11:24
You might see this perfect image of this wonderful couple in the movie, but that's not reality.
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์ด ๋ฉ‹์ง„ ์ปคํ”Œ์˜ ์™„๋ฒฝํ•œ ์ด๋ฏธ์ง€๋ฅผ ๋ณผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ํ˜„์‹ค์ด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:30
So when you see struggle in your own relationship, you feel like, "It's the end.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ž์‹ ์˜ ๊ด€๊ณ„์—์„œ ์–ด๋ ค์›€์„ ๊ฒช๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ณด๋ฉด "๋์ด๋‹ค.
11:36
It's so terrible."
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๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋”์ฐํ•˜๋‹ค."
11:37
But really, it's just real life.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ๋Š” ์‹ค์ œ ์ƒํ™œ ์ผ๋ฟ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:40
So, I think it's really important to not compare your relationship with something that's not
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์˜ํ™”๋‚˜ ์†Œ์…œ ๋ฏธ๋””์–ด ์ด๋ฏธ์ง€์™€ ๊ฐ™์ด ํ˜„์‹ค์ ์ด์ง€ ์•Š์€ ๊ฒƒ๊ณผ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๋น„๊ตํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ •๋ง ์ค‘์š”ํ•˜๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
11:47
realistic, like a movie or just some kind of social media image.
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.
11:52
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
11:53
Vanessa: So, that's kind of another disclaimer.
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ, ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ผ์ข…์˜ ๋˜ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋ฉด์ฑ… ์กฐํ•ญ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:54
Dan: But you can compare with us because we're real.
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Dan: ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์ง„์งœ์ด๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์™€ ๋น„๊ตํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
11:56
Vanessa: We're pretty real.
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Vanessa: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฝค ํ˜„์‹ค์ ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:57
Dan: This is real advice.
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๋Œ„: ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์ง„์ •ํ•œ ์กฐ์–ธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:58
Vanessa: But, I think what they see of our relationship is not every day.
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Vanessa: ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๊ด€๊ณ„์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋งค์ผ ๋ณด๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:01
Dan: No.
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Dan: ์•„๋‹ˆ์š”.
12:02
Vanessa: So, that's what I mean.
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ, ๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์˜๋ฏธํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ”์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:03
Dan: We'll get into the other things.
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Dan: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์— ๋“ค์–ด๊ฐˆ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:04
Vanessa: Yes.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
12:05
Dan: Let's move on.
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๋Œ„: ๊ณ„์† ๊ฐ‘์‹œ๋‹ค.
12:06
Vanessa: Yes.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
12:07
Let's move on to my tip.
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๋‚ด ํŒ์œผ๋กœ ๋„˜์–ด ๊ฐ‘์‹œ๋‹ค.
12:08
So, Dan's tips were kind of serious.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ Dan์˜ ํŒ์€ ์ข€ ์‹ฌ๊ฐํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:10
My tips are kind of light.
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๋‚ด ํŒ์€ ์ผ์ข…์˜ ๋น›์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:11
Light.
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๋น›.
12:12
Dan: As you can tell, Vanessa's very happy.
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Dan: ๋ณด์‹œ๋‹ค์‹œํ”ผ Vanessa๋Š” ๋งค์šฐ ํ–‰๋ณตํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:14
Vanessa: Well, I wanted to share some things that have personally really helped me in our
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Vanessa: ์Œ, ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์ธ ์›์น™์„ ๋„˜์–ด ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๊ด€๊ณ„์—์„œ ๊ฐœ์ธ์ ์œผ๋กœ ์ •๋ง ๋„์›€์ด ๋œ ๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์‚ฌํ•ญ์„ ๊ณต์œ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:20
relationship beyond the general principles, and this is to have fun together.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์ฆ๊ฑฐ์šด ์‹œ๊ฐ„์„ ๋ณด๋‚ด๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:31
I think that this can apply before you are married, but also during your marriage.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ๊ฒฐํ˜ผํ•˜๊ธฐ ์ „์— ์ ์šฉ๋  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐ ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๊ฒฐํ˜ผ ์ค‘์—๋„ ๋งˆ์ฐฌ๊ฐ€์ง€์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜ค๋ž˜ ์‚ฌ๊ท„
12:39
I know that we have some friends who have been together for a long time, and then, even
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์นœ๊ตฌ๋“ค์ด ์žˆ๋Š”๋ฐ,
12:44
though they both like each other, they feel like, "Eh, there's nothing special any more.
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๋‘˜ ๋‹ค ์„œ๋กœ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜๋ฉด์„œ๋„ '์—, ์ด์ œ ๋ณ„๊ฑฐ
12:50
Maybe we shouldn't be together."
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์—†๋„ค.
12:53
Of course, everyone has their own situation, but for us, it's been really helpful to have
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๋ฌผ๋ก  ๊ฐ์ž ์ฒ˜ํ•œ ์ƒํ™ฉ์ด ์žˆ๊ฒ ์ง€๋งŒ, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ํ•จ๊ป˜ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ๊ณตํ†ต๋œ ํ™œ๋™์„ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ •๋ง ๋„์›€์ด ๋˜์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
12:57
some common activities that we really like to do together.
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.
13:03
There's actually a bunch of studies that show having a relationship, people who are 100
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์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๋งบ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ณด์—ฌ์ฃผ๋Š” ๋งŽ์€ ์—ฐ๊ตฌ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . 100
13:08
years old or pretty old and they've been in a relationship for a while, something that
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์„ธ ๋˜๋Š” ๊ฝค ๋‚˜์ด๊ฐ€ ๋งŽ๊ณ  ํ•œ๋™์•ˆ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ์œ ์ง€ํ•ด ์˜จ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด
13:14
has helped them is to have fun together, because you're not always going to be a honeymoon
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๊ทธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ๋„์›€์ด ๋œ ๊ฒƒ์€ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์ฆ๊ฑฐ์šด ์‹œ๊ฐ„์„ ๋ณด๋‚ด๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ด์ œ
13:19
couple who just met each other.
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๋ง‰ ๋งŒ๋‚œ ํ—ˆ๋‹ˆ๋ฌธ ์ปคํ”Œ์ด ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:22
You're going to be just normal people.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ํ‰๋ฒ”ํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:23
So, what are some things- Dan: And this don't have to be everything.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ, ๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€๋Š”- ๋Œ„: ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ์ „๋ถ€์ผ ํ•„์š”๋Š” ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:27
Vanessa: Oh, yeah.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ์˜ค, ๊ทธ๋ž˜.
13:28
Dan: You don't have to enjoy everything together, right?
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๋Œ„: ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์„ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์ฆ๊ธธ ํ•„์š”๋Š” ์—†๊ฒ ์ฃ  ?
13:30
I have a hobby.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ์ทจ๋ฏธ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๋‹ค.
13:31
I like to watch ice hockey.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ์•„์ด์Šคํ•˜ํ‚ค๋ฅผ ๋ณด๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ข‹์•„ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:33
She will not watch a hockey game with me at all.
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๊ทธ๋…€๋Š” ๋‚˜์™€ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ํ•˜ํ‚ค ๊ฒฝ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์ „ํ˜€ ๋ณด์ง€ ์•Š์„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
13:37
That's my thing.
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๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ๋‚ด ์ผ์ด์•ผ.
13:38
It's okay.
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๊ดœ์ฐฎ์•„์š”.
13:39
Vanessa: I occasionally ask you about it or occasionally ... I have enough knowledge now
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Vanessa: ๊ฐ€๋” ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋ฌผ์–ด๋ณด๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ... ์ง€๊ธˆ์€
13:42
from living with you, but it's not ... We don't do everything together.
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๋‹น์‹ ๊ณผ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์‚ด๋ฉด์„œ ์ถฉ๋ถ„ํ•œ ์ง€์‹์„ ์–ป์—ˆ์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ๋ ‡์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค... ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์„ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:46
Dan: No, but it's just some things.
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Dan: ์•„๋‹ˆ์š”, ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์ผ๋ฟ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ํ•จ๊ป˜
13:49
It's very good if you like to do some things together.
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๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ๋‹ค๋ฉด ์•„์ฃผ ์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
13:51
It will make your relationship more enjoyable overall.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ์ „๋ฐ˜์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋” ์ฆ๊ฒ๊ฒŒ ๋งŒ๋“ค ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
13:55
So for example, we like to go on hikes.
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์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ๋“ค์–ด, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ํ•˜์ดํ‚น์„ ์ข‹์•„ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:57
We'll walk up.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฑธ์„ ๊ฒƒ์ด๋‹ค.
13:58
We'll hike up a mountain together, and we'll have a conversation, and we'll be doing something
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์‚ฐ์„ ์˜ค๋ฅด๊ณ , ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚˜๋ˆ„๊ณ , ํ•จ๊ป˜ ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
14:04
together.
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.
14:05
And it's really- Vanessa: Yeah, and then it's something that
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ •๋ง๋กœ- Vanessa: ์˜ˆ, ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ 
14:06
later you can reflect on.
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๋‚˜์ค‘์— ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋ฐ˜์„ฑํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:07
"Oh, remember when we went on that hike?"
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"์•„, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ•˜์ดํ‚น์„ ๊ฐ”์„ ๋•Œ๋ฅผ ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•ด?"
14:09
You have more in common and you can talk about other things.
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๊ณตํ†ต์ ์ด ๋” ๋งŽ๊ณ  ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
14:12
Dan: Yeah, or traveling, too.
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๋Œ„: ์˜ˆ, ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ฉด ์—ฌํ–‰๋„์š”.
14:14
Many of you who are into English probably also like to travel.
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์˜์–ด์— ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์žˆ๋Š” ๋งŽ์€ ๋ถ„๋“ค์ด ์—ฌํ–‰์„ ์ข‹์•„ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:18
So, I remember very fondly going to Europe with my wife, because Europe is very enjoyable.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์•„๋‚ด์™€ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์œ ๋Ÿฝ์„ ์•„์ฃผ ์ข‹์•„ํ–ˆ๋˜ ๊ธฐ์–ต์ด ๋‚ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ์œ ๋Ÿฝ์€ ์ •๋ง ์ฆ๊ฒ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:26
There's a lot of beautiful buildings and lots of places to go and see.
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์•„๋ฆ„๋‹ค์šด ๊ฑด๋ฌผ๋„ ๋งŽ๊ณ  ๊ฐ€๋ณผ ๊ณณ๋„ ๋งŽ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:30
So, it's a fun thing that you can do together.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ์žฌ๋ฏธ์žˆ๋Š” ์ผ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:33
Vanessa: Yeah, I think that it could be something simple, like hiking, even enjoying cooking
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Vanessa: ์˜ˆ, ํ•˜์ดํ‚น, ์‹ฌ์ง€์–ด ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์š”๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ์ฆ๊ธฐ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์€ ๋‹จ์ˆœํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
14:37
meals together.
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.
14:39
We like to play games.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฒŒ์ž„์„ ์ข‹์•„ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:41
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
14:42
Vanessa: We like to play board games.
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Vanessa: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋ณด๋“œ ๊ฒŒ์ž„์„ ์ข‹์•„ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:43
Dan: We play board games.
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๋Œ„: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋ณด๋“œ ๊ฒŒ์ž„์„ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:44
Vanessa: We like to play disc golf, which is like throwing a frisbee together.
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Vanessa: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ํ”„๋ฆฌ์Šค๋น„๋ฅผ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ๋˜์ง€๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์€ ๋””์Šคํฌ ๊ณจํ”„๋ฅผ ์น˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ข‹์•„ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
14:49
We like to run around in the park together.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ํ•จ๊ป˜ ๊ณต์›์—์„œ ๋›ฐ์–ด๋‹ค๋‹ˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ข‹์•„ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:53
We like these fun things.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ด๋Ÿฐ ์žฌ๋ฏธ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์„ ์ข‹์•„ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:56
Something that the marriage counselor who I was watching that video about, something
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์ œ๊ฐ€ ๊ทธ ๋น„๋””์˜ค๋ฅผ ๋ณด๊ณ  ์žˆ๋˜ ๊ฒฐํ˜ผ ์ƒ๋‹ด๊ฐ€๊ฐ€
15:00
that she mentioned is that sometimes after you've been with someone for a long time,
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์–ธ๊ธ‰ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ ์ค‘ ํ•˜๋‚˜๋Š” ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์™€ ์˜ค๋žซ๋™์•ˆ ํ•จ๊ป˜ํ•œ ํ›„์— ๋•Œ๋•Œ๋กœ
15:05
your relationship tends to get more serious.
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๊ด€๊ณ„๊ฐ€ ๋” ์‹ฌ๊ฐํ•ด์ง€๋Š” ๊ฒฝํ–ฅ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ํ•จ๊ป˜
15:09
Not just serious as in your going to stay together, but serious as in your demeanor.
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์ง€๋‚ด๋ ค๊ณ  ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๋งŒํผ ์ง„์ง€ํ•  ๋ฟ๋งŒ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ ํƒœ๋„๋„ ์ง„์ง€ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
15:14
Demeanor means your face, your attitude.
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Demeanor๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์–ผ๊ตด, ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ํƒœ๋„๋ฅผ ์˜๋ฏธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
15:17
Your attitude becomes really serious because you're talking about daily life, your job.
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๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ํƒœ๋„๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์ผ์ƒ ์ƒํ™œ, ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์ง์—…์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์ •๋ง ์ง„์ง€ํ•ด์ง‘๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
15:22
Are you doing the dishes?
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์„ค๊ฑฐ์ง€๋ฅผํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
15:23
Who's cooking dinner?
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๋ˆ„๊ฐ€ ์ €๋…์„ ์š”๋ฆฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
15:25
Where's our baby?
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์•„๊ธฐ๋Š” ์–ด๋”” ์žˆ๋‹ˆ?
15:26
Just factual things.
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์‚ฌ์‹ค์ ์ธ ๊ฒƒ๋“ค.
15:27
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
15:28
Vanessa: Not really fun things.
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๋‹ค์ง€ ์žฌ๋ฏธ์žˆ๋Š” ์ผ์€ ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
15:29
So, she said it's really important to add fun into your life instead of just those kind
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๊ทธ๋…€๋Š”
15:36
of, "Okay, how much money do we have?"
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"๊ทธ๋ž˜, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๋ˆ์ด ์–ผ๋งˆ๋‚˜ ์žˆ์–ด?"
15:38
Dan: Busy details.
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๋Œ„: ๋ฐ”์œ ์„ธ๋ถ€ ์‚ฌํ•ญ.
15:39
Vanessa: "Can we do this?"
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Vanessa: "์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„๊นŒ์š”?"
15:40
Yeah, those kind of serious things.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜, ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ์‹ฌ๊ฐํ•œ ๊ฒƒ๋“ค.
15:41
It's good to insert some fun into your life.
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๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์‚ถ์— ์•ฝ๊ฐ„์˜ ์žฌ๋ฏธ๋ฅผ ์‚ฝ์ž…ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
15:44
Dan: If you have time.
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๋Œ„: ์‹œ๊ฐ„์ด ์žˆ์œผ๋ฉด.
15:45
Vanessa: Yeah.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค. ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์Œ์•…์„
15:46
It could even be something small, like listening to music together.
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๋“ฃ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์€ ์ž‘์€ ๊ฒƒ์ผ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
15:49
Dan: Sure.
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๋Œ„: ๋ฌผ๋ก ์ด์ฃ .
15:50
Vanessa: Something that you can enjoy as a couple.
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Vanessa: ์ปคํ”Œ๋กœ ์ฆ๊ธธ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ .
15:51
Dan: Somebody asked, "What's a board game?"
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Dan: ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€ "๋ณด๋“œ๊ฒŒ์ž„์ด ๋ญ์•ผ?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ฌผ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
15:53
Or how to spell board game.
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๋˜๋Š” ๋ณด๋“œ ๊ฒŒ์ž„์„ ์ฒ ์žํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•.
15:55
B-O-A-R-D.
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ํŒ์ž.
15:56
Vanessa: Yes.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
15:57
Dan: Board game.
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๋Œ„: ๋ณด๋“œ ๊ฒŒ์ž„.
15:58
It's a tabletop game, a game you play on the table.
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ํƒ์ƒ์šฉ ๊ฒŒ์ž„, ํƒ์ž ์œ„์—์„œ ํ”Œ๋ ˆ์ดํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒŒ์ž„์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
16:01
Vanessa: Yes.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
16:02
Dan: Like cards or Monopoly.
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๋Œ„: ์นด๋“œ๋‚˜ ๋ชจ๋…ธํด๋ฆฌ ๊ฐ™์€.
16:04
That's a perfect example.
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์™„๋ฒฝํ•œ ์˜ˆ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:05
Vanessa: We don't really play Monopoly, but there are lots of great board games.
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Vanessa: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” Monopoly๋ฅผ ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ํ”Œ๋ ˆ์ดํ•˜์ง€๋Š” ์•Š์ง€๋งŒ ํ›Œ๋ฅญํ•œ ๋ณด๋“œ ๊ฒŒ์ž„์€ ๋งŽ์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์–ธ์  ๊ฐ€๋Š”
16:09
Maybe we should make a video of a board game some time.
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๋ณด๋“œ๊ฒŒ์ž„ ์˜์ƒ์„ ๋งŒ๋“ค์–ด์•ผ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์•„์š” .
16:11
Dan: Yeah, definitely.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค, ํ™•์‹คํžˆ์š”.
16:12
Vanessa: It could be a fun time.
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Vanessa: ์ฆ๊ฑฐ์šด ์‹œ๊ฐ„์ด ๋  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:13
All right, let's go on to the next tip that you have.
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์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹ค์Œ ํŒ์œผ๋กœ ๋„˜์–ด๊ฐ€๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
16:18
What's your next tip?
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๋‹ค์Œ ํŒ์€ ๋ฌด์—‡์ž…๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
16:19
Dan: So my next tip ... Mine are all negative.
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Dan: ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ œ ๋‹ค์Œ ํŒ์€... ์ œ ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ชจ๋‘ ๋ถ€์ •์ ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:21
Vanessa: Serious tip.
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Vanessa: ์ง„์ง€ํ•œ ํŒ.
16:22
Dan: It is don't make excuses or place blame.
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Dan: ๋ณ€๋ช…ํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๋น„๋‚œํ•˜์ง€ ๋งˆ์„ธ์š”.
16:26
Now, sometimes you're going to do these things, so let's-
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์ž, ๋•Œ๋•Œ๋กœ ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ด๋Ÿฐ ์ผ์„ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‹ˆ-
16:30
Vanessa: Can you explain the word blame?
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Vanessa: ๋น„๋‚œ์ด๋ผ๋Š” ๋‹จ์–ด๋ฅผ ์„ค๋ช…ํ•ด ์ฃผ์‹œ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
16:32
Dan: Yeah.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
16:33
Vanessa: Because that's kind of a complex word.
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๊ฑด ์ผ์ข…์˜ ๋ณต์žกํ•œ ๋‹จ์–ด์ด๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:34
Dan: So if you place blame, which is B-L-A-M-E, that means you are saying to somebody else,
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Dan: ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๋งŒ์•ฝ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด B-L-A-M-E๋ผ๊ณ  ๋น„๋‚œํ•œ๋‹ค๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์—๊ฒŒ
16:42
"It's your fault."
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"๋‹น์‹  ์ž˜๋ชป์ด์•ผ"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:43
Vanessa: You're pointing your finger.
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Vanessa: ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์†๊ฐ€๋ฝ์„ ๊ฐ€๋ฆฌํ‚ค๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:44
Dan: "You did this.
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๋Œ„: "๋„ค๊ฐ€ ํ•œ ๊ฑฐ์•ผ.
16:45
It's your problem.
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๋„ค ๋ฌธ์ œ์•ผ.
16:47
You, you, you," and not never yourself.
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๋„ˆ, ๋„ˆ, ๋„ˆ" ์ ˆ๋Œ€ ๋„ˆ ์ž์‹ ์ด ์•„๋‹ˆ์•ผ.
16:52
Don't make excuses would be if you do something wrong, if you say something bad, or you make
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๋ณ€๋ช…ํ•˜์ง€ ๋งˆ์„ธ์š”. ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋ญ”๊ฐ€ ์ž˜๋ชปํ–ˆ๊ฑฐ๋‚˜, ๋‚˜์˜๊ฒŒ ๋งํ–ˆ๊ฑฐ๋‚˜,
16:58
a mistake.
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์‹ค์ˆ˜๋ฅผ ํ–ˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด ๋ง์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:59
If you make an excuse, you're always saying something like, "Well, I was tired," or, "Well,
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ํ•‘๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๋Œ€๋ฉด ํ•ญ์ƒ "๊ธ€์Ž„, ํ”ผ๊ณคํ–ˆ์–ด" ๋˜๋Š” "๊ธ€์Ž„,
17:07
I was really busy and I didn't have time to do this or that."
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์ •๋ง ๋ฐ”๋นด๊ณ  ์ด๋Ÿฌ์ €๋Ÿฌํ•œ ์ผ์„ ํ•  ์‹œ๊ฐ„์ด ์—†์—ˆ์–ด ."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:11
You know, this is making excuses.
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์•Œ๋‹ค์‹œํ”ผ, ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ณ€๋ช…์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:13
It's coming up with reasons why you were bad or you didn't do things as good as you could.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์™œ ๋‚˜๋นด๋Š”์ง€ ๋˜๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๋งŒํผ ์ข‹์€ ์ผ์„ ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์€ ์ด์œ ๋ฅผ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด๋‚ด๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:21
So if you do these things a lot, if you place blame or you make excuses very frequently,
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ด๋Ÿฐ ์ผ์„ ๋งŽ์ด ํ•˜๊ณ , ๋น„๋‚œํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๋ณ€๋ช…์„ ์ž์ฃผ ํ•˜๋ฉด
17:30
then your relationship will get not very enjoyable.
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๊ด€๊ณ„๊ฐ€ ๋ณ„๋กœ ์ฆ๊ฒ์ง€ ์•Š์„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:34
Vanessa: Yeah, we can even use the word crumble.
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Vanessa: ์˜ˆ, ๋ถ€์„œ์ง„๋‹ค๋Š” ๋‹จ์–ด๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:37
Dan: Ooh, crumble.
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๋Œ„: ์˜ค, ๋ฌด๋„ˆ์ ธ๋ผ.
17:38
Vanessa: Crumble, we can imagine a cookie.
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Vanessa: Crumble, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ฟ ํ‚ค๋ฅผ ์ƒ์ƒํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:42
When you break a cookie, it crumbles.
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์ฟ ํ‚ค๋ฅผ ๊นจ๋ฉด ๋ถ€์„œ์ง‘๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:44
It breaks into little pieces.
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์ž‘์€ ์กฐ๊ฐ์œผ๋กœ ๋‚˜๋‰ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:46
So, we can use this figuratively to say, "Our relationship is crumbling."
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ด๊ฒƒ์„ ๋น„์œ ์ ์œผ๋กœ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์—ฌ "์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๊ด€๊ณ„๊ฐ€ ๋ฌด๋„ˆ์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:52
Dan: Yes, place blame.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค, ๋น„๋‚œํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
17:53
That's right.
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์ข‹์•„์š”.
17:54
Somebody wrote, "Place blame."
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๋Š” "๋น„๋‚œ์„ ํผ๋ถ“๋‹ค"๋ผ๊ณ  ์ผ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:55
Vanessa: Yes.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
17:56
Don't place blame.
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๋น„๋‚œํ•˜์ง€ ๋งˆ์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
17:57
Dan: A lot of times, you can get into blame games.
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Dan: ๋งŽ์€ ๊ฒฝ์šฐ ๋น„๋‚œ ๊ฒŒ์ž„์— ๋น ์งˆ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
17:58
Vanessa: Oh, this is a good idiom.
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Vanessa: ์˜ค, ์ข‹์€ ํ‘œํ˜„์ด๋„ค์š”.
18:00
Don't play the blame game.
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๋น„๋‚œ ๊ฒŒ์ž„์„ ํ•˜์ง€ ๋งˆ์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
18:01
Dan: A lot of times, if you blame somebody, if you say, "This is your fault.
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๋Œ„: ๋งŽ์€ ๊ฒฝ์šฐ ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ์›๋งํ•˜๋ฉด "์ด๊ฑด ๋„ค ์ž˜๋ชป์ด์•ผ.
18:07
Why did you do this?"
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์™œ ๊ทธ๋žฌ์–ด?"
18:09
Maybe they'll say, "No, it's your fault," and you'll just go back and forth and back
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์•„๋งˆ๋„ ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ "์•„๋‹ˆ, ๋‹น์‹  ์ž˜๋ชป์ด์•ผ"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ด๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์•ž๋’ค๋กœ ์™”๋‹ค ๊ฐ”๋‹ค ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
18:12
and forth.
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.
18:13
Vanessa: This is the blame game.
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Vanessa: ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋น„๋‚œ ๊ฒŒ์ž„์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
18:14
It's not good.
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์ข‹์ง€ ์•Š๋‹ค.
18:16
I think that in this situation this is an important time to have insight into yourself
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์ด๋Ÿฐ ์ƒํ™ฉ์—์„œ ์ง€๊ธˆ์€ ์ž์‹ ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ํ†ต์ฐฐ
18:25
and insight into the other, your partner.
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๊ณผ ์ƒ๋Œ€์ธ ํŒŒํŠธ๋„ˆ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ํ†ต์ฐฐ์„ ๊ฐ–๋Š” ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ์‹œ๊ธฐ๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
18:27
The word insight, we can imagine, in, inside, and sight.
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ํ†ต์ฐฐ๋ ฅ์ด๋ผ๋Š” ๋‹จ์–ด๋Š” ์ƒ์ƒํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
18:32
You're seeing into yourself.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋‹น์‹  ์ž์‹ ์„ ๋“ค์—ฌ๋‹ค๋ณด๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
18:34
So in this situation, let's take a concrete example.
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์ด ์ƒํ™ฉ์—์„œ ๊ตฌ์ฒด์ ์ธ ์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ๋“ค์–ด ๋ณด๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
18:38
This is something that happens in our house.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์ง‘์—์„œ ์ผ์–ด๋‚˜๋Š” ์ผ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
18:40
I'm sure it happens in your house, too.
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๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์ง‘์—์„œ๋„ ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ์ผ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚  ๊ฒƒ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ํ™•์‹ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
18:42
The dishes.
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์š”๋ฆฌ.
18:43
We actually just got a dishwasher, so it has been amazing.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ๋ฐฉ๊ธˆ ์‹๊ธฐ ์„ธ์ฒ™๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์–ป์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋†€๋ž์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
18:48
But if we had some dishes in the sink, maybe Dan thought that I was going to do them.
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์‹ฑํฌ๋Œ€์— ์„ค๊ฑฐ์ง€๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด Dan์€ ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์„ค๊ฑฐ์ง€๋ฅผ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ–ˆ์„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
18:54
I thought that Dan was going to do them.
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๋‚˜๋Š” Dan์ด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์„ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
18:56
Then, I say, "Ugh!
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋‹ค์Œ "์–ด!
18:59
Why didn't you do the dishes?"
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์™œ ์„ค๊ฑฐ์ง€๋ฅผ ์•ˆ ํ–ˆ์–ด?"
19:00
Well, I'm blaming him.
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๊ธ€์Ž„, ๋‚˜๋Š” ๊ทธ๋ฅผ ๋น„๋‚œํ•˜๊ณ ์žˆ๋‹ค.
19:02
But also, I don't have insight into why he didn't do them.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ ๋˜ํ•œ ๊ทธ๊ฐ€ ์™œ ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์•˜๋Š”์ง€์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ํ†ต์ฐฐ๋ ฅ์ด ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:07
So, maybe I say, "Why didn't you do them?"
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ "์™œ ์•ˆ ํ–ˆ์–ด?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:10
And he says, "I'm too tired.
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"๋‚˜ ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ํ”ผ๊ณคํ•ด. ํ•˜๊ณ 
19:11
I don't want do them.
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์‹ถ์ง€ ์•Š์•„.
19:12
I thought you were going to do them."
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๋„ค๊ฐ€ ํ•  ์ค„ ์•Œ์•˜์–ด."
19:15
Well, here I didn't realize, "Oh, he's tired," and he didn't realize that I thought he was
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๊ธ€์Ž„, ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ ๋‚˜๋Š” "์˜ค, ๊ทธ๋Š” ํ”ผ๊ณคํ•ด"๋ผ๊ณ  ๊นจ๋‹ซ์ง€ ๋ชปํ–ˆ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋Š” ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๊ทธ๊ฐ€
19:21
going to do.
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ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ–ˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊นจ๋‹ซ์ง€ ๋ชปํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋ˆ„๊ฐ€ ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•˜๋Š”์ง€์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ
19:22
We don't have this spoken communication connection about who should do it.
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์Œ์„ฑ ํ†ต์‹  ์—ฐ๊ฒฐ์ด ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
19:28
So this, I feel like this kind of blame can often be resolved with a couple deep breaths.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ €๋Š” ์ด๋Ÿฐ ์ข…๋ฅ˜์˜ ๋น„๋‚œ์€ ์ข…์ข… ์‹ฌํ˜ธํก ๋ช‡ ๋ฒˆ์œผ๋กœ ํ•ด๊ฒฐ๋  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:36
Okay, it's just the dishes.
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์ข‹์•„, ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹จ์ง€ ์š”๋ฆฌ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:39
This is small things.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์ž‘์€ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:40
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
19:41
Vanessa: It's choosing your battles.
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Vanessa: ์ „ํˆฌ๋ฅผ ์„ ํƒํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:42
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
19:43
Vanessa: This is a common expression that we use in relationships, often with the word
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Vanessa: ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๊ด€๊ณ„์—์„œ ์ž์ฃผ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๋Š” ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์ธ ํ‘œํ˜„์ด๋ฉฐ ์ข…์ข… ์„ ํƒ์ด๋ผ๋Š” ๋‹จ์–ด์™€ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์‚ฌ์šฉ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
19:46
pick.
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.
19:47
Pick your battles or choose your battles.
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์ „ํˆฌ๋ฅผ ์„ ํƒํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์ „ํˆฌ๋ฅผ ์„ ํƒํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
19:50
This word, B-A-T-T-L-E-S, what does it mean to say pick your battles?
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์ด ๋‹จ์–ด, B-A-T-T-L-E-S, ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์ „ํˆฌ๋ฅผ ์„ ํƒํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ฌด์—‡์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
19:55
Dan: Pick your battle means don't argue about everything.
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Dan: ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์ „ํˆฌ๋ฅผ ์„ ํƒํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋…ผ์Ÿํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋Š”๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
20:00
If you're going to get angry or frustrated, then choose something important, not lots
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ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ด๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์ขŒ์ ˆํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ด๋ผ๋ฉด ์‚ฌ์†Œํ•œ ๋ฌธ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์„ ์„ ํƒํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค
20:08
of little problems.
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.
20:09
Vanessa: Yeah, we often call this nagging, N-A-G-G-I-N-G.
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Vanessa: ๋„ค, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ข…์ข… ์ด๊ฒƒ์„ ์ž”์†Œ๋ฆฌ๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ถ€๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. N-A-G-G-I-N-G.
20:11
Dan: Nagging.
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๋Œ„: ์ž”์†Œ๋ฆฌ.
20:13
Vanessa: We can imagine the stereotypical, usually it's a woman, a stereotypical woman
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Vanessa: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ณ ์ •๊ด€๋…์„ ์ƒ์ƒํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋ณดํ†ต ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ์—ฌ์„ฑ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜ํ™”์—์„œ ๊ณ ์ •๊ด€๋…์ ์ธ ์—ฌ์„ฑ์ด์ฃ 
20:18
in a movie.
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.
20:19
The wife is saying, "Hey, pick up your clothes.
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์•„๋‚ด๋Š” "์•ผ, ์˜ท ์ฑ™๊ฒจ.
20:21
Why didn't you do that?
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์™œ ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ์•ˆ ํ–ˆ์–ด?
20:22
Oh, why are you still sleeping?
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์•„, ์™œ ์•„์ง๋„ ์ž๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ˆ?
20:24
Get out of bed.
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์นจ๋Œ€์—์„œ ์ผ์–ด๋‚˜.
20:25
Blah, blah, blah."
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๋ธ”๋ผ, ๋ธ”๋ผ, ๋ธ”๋ผ."
20:26
This is nagging.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์ž”์†Œ๋ฆฌ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
20:27
Nobody likes nagging.
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์•„๋ฌด๋„ ์ž”์†Œ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
20:28
No one wants to nag, and no one wants to be nagged.
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์ž”์†Œ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋„ ์—†๊ณ , ์ž”์†Œ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ๋“ฃ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋„ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
20:31
Dan: I think maybe an extra bit of advice, you said take a deep breath.
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Dan: ์‹ฌํ˜ธํก์„ ํ•˜๋ผ๊ณ  ํ•˜์…จ๋Š”๋ฐ ์กฐ์–ธ์ด ์ข€ ๋” ํ•„์š”ํ•  ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
20:37
This is a good idea.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์ข‹์€ ์ƒ๊ฐ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
20:39
Take a deep breath.
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์‹ฌํ˜ธํก์„ ํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
20:40
If you're feeling a little angry at your partner, before you say something, just breathe.
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ํŒŒํŠธ๋„ˆ์—๊ฒŒ ์•ฝ๊ฐ„์˜ ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚œ๋‹ค๋ฉด ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ๋งํ•˜๊ธฐ ์ „์— ๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ์ˆจ์„ ์‰ฌ์„ธ์š”.
20:48
Because, I mean, I know we look very happy all the time, but we get angry with each other,
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๋‚ด ๋ง์€, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ•ญ์ƒ ๋งค์šฐ ํ–‰๋ณตํ•ด ๋ณด์ด์ง€๋งŒ ์„œ๋กœ์—๊ฒŒ ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ด๊ธฐ
20:53
too.
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๋„ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
20:54
Vanessa: It's true.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ์‚ฌ์‹ค์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
20:55
Dan: I promise you it happens.
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Dan: ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ์ผ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚œ๋‹ค๊ณ  ์•ฝ์†ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
20:56
I've had to learn, especially me.
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ํŠนํžˆ ์ €๋ฅผ ๋ฐฐ์›Œ์•ผ ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
20:59
Sometimes I get a little bit ... I have a temper.
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๊ฐ€๋”์€ ์ข€.. ์„ฑ์งˆ์ด ๋‚˜๋„ค์š”.
21:03
I can get angry.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค.
21:04
Vanessa: He can get upset at times.
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๋Š” ๋•Œ๋•Œ๋กœ ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
21:05
Dan: I can get angry sometimes.
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๋Œ„: ๊ฐ€๋” ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์–ด์š”.
21:06
Vanessa: I think everybody can get upset sometimes.
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Vanessa: ๋ˆ„๊ตฌ๋‚˜ ๋•Œ๋•Œ๋กœ ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
21:07
Dan: So, I've had to learn to stop and take a little breath before I say something.
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Dan: ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ €๋Š” ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ๋งํ•˜๊ธฐ ์ „์— ์ž ์‹œ ๋ฉˆ์ถ”๊ณ  ์ˆจ์„ ์‰ฌ๋Š” ๋ฒ•์„ ๋ฐฐ์›Œ์•ผ ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
21:14
Because when you're angry, you might say something really mean.
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ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚ฌ์„ ๋•Œ ์ •๋ง ๋น„์—ดํ•œ ๋ง์„ ํ•  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
21:18
And if you take ... If you say something really bad, your partner is going to remember that.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋งŒ์•ฝ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด... ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์ •๋ง ๋‚˜์œ ๋ง์„ ํ•œ๋‹ค๋ฉด , ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ํŒŒํŠธ๋„ˆ๋Š” ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
21:24
Vanessa: Yes.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
21:25
Dan: So you don't want to let a lot of those bad words build up over time.
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Dan: ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์‹œ๊ฐ„์ด ์ง€๋‚จ์— ๋”ฐ๋ผ ๋งŽ์€ ๋‚˜์œ ๋‹จ์–ด๊ฐ€ ์Œ“์ด๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
21:30
Vanessa: I think we're going to talk about this more with Dan's third tip about how to
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Vanessa: ์ผ์ด ์Œ“์ด์ง€ ์•Š๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ Dan์˜ ์„ธ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ํŒ๊ณผ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์ด๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋” ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•  ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
21:35
not let things build up.
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.
21:37
Build up means your anger is growing inside of you and you explode.
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์Œ“์ด๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๋ถ„๋…ธ๊ฐ€ ๋‹น์‹  ์•ˆ์—์„œ ์ž๋ผ๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ํญ๋ฐœํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
21:41
In Dan's third tip, we're going to talk more about that.
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Dan์˜ ์„ธ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ํŒ์—์„œ ์ด์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋” ์ž์„ธํžˆ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
21:44
But before we go on to my tip, I feel like not blaming, picking your battles, all of
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์ œ ํŒ์œผ๋กœ ๋„˜์–ด๊ฐ€๊ธฐ ์ „์—, ์ €๋Š” ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์˜ ์‹ธ์›€์„ ๋น„๋‚œํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๊ณ ,
21:50
this deals with the category of emotional regulation.
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์ด ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์ด ๊ฐ์ • ์กฐ์ ˆ์˜ ๋ฒ”์ฃผ๋ฅผ ๋‹ค๋ฃฌ๋‹ค๋Š” ๋Š๋‚Œ์ด ๋“ญ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
21:56
This is kind of a fancy word.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์ผ์ข…์˜ ๋ฉ‹์ง„ ๋‹จ์–ด์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
21:58
I read this in one of the articles that I was reading about this topic, relationship
472
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๋‚˜๋Š” ์ด ์ฃผ์ œ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ฝ์€ ๊ธฐ์‚ฌ ์ค‘ ํ•˜๋‚˜ ์ธ ๊ด€๊ณ„
22:04
advice, and I feel like it covers so many great things.
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์กฐ์–ธ์—์„œ ์ด๊ฒƒ์„ ์ฝ์—ˆ์œผ๋ฉฐ ๋งŽ์€ ํ›Œ๋ฅญํ•œ ๋‚ด์šฉ์„ ๋‹ค๋ฃจ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
22:08
Regulating yourself.
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์ž์‹ ์„ ์กฐ์ ˆํ•˜๊ธฐ.
22:09
Am I just lashing out?
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๋‚˜๋Š” ๋‹จ์ง€ ๋น„๋‚œํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
22:12
Lashing out is like a whip [inaudible 00:22:13] with your words.
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๋น„๋‚œํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ง๋กœ ์ฑ„์ฐ์งˆํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค[๋“ค๋ฆฌ์ง€ ์•Š์Œ 00:22:13] .
22:15
Lashing out, or am I being rational?
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ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ด๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ํ•ฉ๋ฆฌ์ ์ž…๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
22:18
Am I being thoughtful?
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๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์‚ฌ๋ ค ๊นŠ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
22:20
Also, when someone else, if Dan criticizes me or if Dan says, "Hey, you said you were
479
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๋˜ํ•œ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด Dan์ด ๋‚˜๋ฅผ ๋น„๋‚œํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ Dan์ด "์ด๋ด,
22:27
going to do the dishes and you didn't do them.
480
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์„ค๊ฑฐ์ง€๋ฅผํ•˜๊ฒ ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ–ˆ๊ณ  ์„ค๊ฑฐ์ง€๋ฅผ ์•ˆ ํ–ˆ์–ด์š”.
22:29
Why didn't you do them?"
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์™œ ์•ˆ ํ–ˆ์–ด์š”?"
22:31
I need to have emotional regulation.
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๊ฐ์ • ์กฐ์ ˆ์ด ํ•„์š”ํ•ด์š”.
22:33
Personally, I don't like it when people tell me what to do.
483
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๊ฐœ์ธ์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋‚˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ๋‚˜์—๊ฒŒ ๋ฌด์—‡์„ ํ•˜๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋Š”๋‹ค .
22:37
I'm very stubborn.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ๋งค์šฐ ์™„๊ณ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
22:39
Maybe you're like this, too.
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์•„๋งˆ ๋‹น์‹ ๋„ ๋งˆ์ฐฌ๊ฐ€์ง€์ผ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
22:40
So in this situation, I need to feel okay with some uncomfortable feelings.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ด๋Ÿฐ ์ƒํ™ฉ์—์„œ ์กฐ๊ธˆ์€ ๋ถˆํŽธํ•œ ๊ฐ์ •๋„ ๊ดœ์ฐฎ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋Š๊ปด์•ผ ํ•ด์š”.
22:46
When someone corrects me, I need to take a deep breath.
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ๋‚˜๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๋กœ์žก์œผ๋ฉด ์‹ฌํ˜ธํก์„ ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
22:50
Okay, I'll do it.
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์ข‹์•„, ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ํ• ๊ฒŒ.
22:51
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
22:52
Vanessa: And I can't just yell at him immediately.
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋‚œ ๊ทธ์—๊ฒŒ ๋ฐ”๋กœ ์†Œ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ์ง€๋ฅผ ์ˆ˜ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
22:56
I need some emotional regulation.
491
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๊ฐ์ • ์กฐ์ ˆ์ด ํ•„์š”ํ•ด์š”.
22:58
Dan: Somebody said, "I breathe every morning to control anger."
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๋Œ„: "๋‚˜๋Š” ๋งค์ผ ์•„์นจ ๋ถ„๋…ธ๋ฅผ ์กฐ์ ˆํ•˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ์ˆจ์„ ์‰ฐ๋‹ค."
23:02
Vanessa: Good idea.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ์ข‹์€ ์ƒ๊ฐ์ด์•ผ.
23:03
Dan: Words show.
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๋Œ„: ๋‹จ์–ด๊ฐ€ ๋ณด์—ฌ์š”.
23:04
That's a good one.
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๊ทธ๊ฑฐ ์ข‹๋„ค.
23:05
Breathe every day.
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๋งค์ผ ์ˆจ์„ ์‰ฌ์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
23:06
Vanessa: Yes, take some deep breaths I think in this situation, making sure that you are
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Vanessa: ๋„ค, ์ด ์ƒํ™ฉ์—์„œ๋Š” ์‹ฌํ˜ธํก์„ ์ข€ ํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
23:10
not immediately getting upset at the other person and also not getting upset when people
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์ƒ๋Œ€๋ฐฉ์—๊ฒŒ ์ฆ‰์‹œ ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ด์ง€ ์•Š๊ณ  ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์„ ๊พธ์ง–์–ด๋„ ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ด์ง€ ์•Š๋„๋ก ์ฃผ์˜ํ•˜์„ธ์š”
23:16
correct you.
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.
23:17
Dan: Yeah, meditation or yoga, that would probably help with this situation.
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Dan: ๋„ค, ๋ช…์ƒ์ด๋‚˜ ์š”๊ฐ€, ๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ์ด ์ƒํ™ฉ์— ๋„์›€์ด ๋  ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์•„์š”.
23:21
And it's more difficult for some people than others.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์–ด๋–ค ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ๋Š” ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๋ณด๋‹ค ๋” ์–ด๋ ต์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
23:23
Vanessa: Yeah, certainly.
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Vanessa: ๋„ค, ๋ฌผ๋ก ์ด์ฃ .
23:24
Dan: I know I have more trouble with emotional regulation than Vanessa, which I think is
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Dan: ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ Vanessa๋ณด๋‹ค ๊ฐ์ • ์กฐ์ ˆ์— ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ๋ฌธ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์••๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
23:29
a little unusual.
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.
23:30
Maybe the stereotype is that the woman is usually more emotional.
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์—ฌ์„ฑ์ด ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋” ๊ฐ์ •์ ์ด๋ผ๋Š” ๊ณ ์ • ๊ด€๋…์ด ์žˆ์„์ง€๋„ ๋ชจ๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
23:35
Vanessa is a very steady person.
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Vanessa๋Š” ๋งค์šฐ ๊พธ์ค€ํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
23:39
It's amazing.
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๋†€๋ž๋‹ค.
23:40
Vanessa: We can use a great expression here, even keel.
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Vanessa: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ ํ›Œ๋ฅญํ•œ ํ‘œํ˜„์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
23:43
Dan: Even keeled, yes.
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Dan: ์‹ฌ์ง€์–ด keeled, ๊ทธ๋ž˜.
23:45
Vanessa: This is E-V-E-N K-E-E-L, even keel.
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Vanessa: ์ด์ชฝ์€ E-V-E-N K-E-E-L์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
23:50
I think this refers to a boat, like a boat that's flat.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ํ‰ํ‰ํ•œ ๋ณดํŠธ์™€ ๊ฐ™์€ ๋ณดํŠธ๋ฅผ ์˜๋ฏธํ•œ๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
23:56
It's not going one way or the other.
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์–ด๋–ค ์‹์œผ๋กœ๋“  ์ง„ํ–‰๋˜์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
23:59
If you are even keeled, it means that you're not swinging from emotional.
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๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์‹ฌ์ง€์–ด keeled๋ผ๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ฐ์ •์—์„œ ํ”๋“ค๋ฆฌ์ง€ ์•Š๋Š”๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
24:04
"Oh, I'm really angry."
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"์•„, ๋‚˜ ์ง„์งœ ํ™”๋‚ฌ์–ด."
24:05
Dan: Happy, sad.
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๋Œ„: ๊ธฐ์˜๋‹ค, ์Šฌํ”„๋‹ค.
24:06
Vanessa: "Oh, I'm really happy."
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Vanessa: "์˜ค, ์ •๋ง ๊ธฐ๋ป์š”."
24:07
Yes, or like you're instantly angry.
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์˜ˆ, ๋˜๋Š” ์ฆ‰์‹œ ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ด๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
24:09
You are even keeled.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์‹ฌ์ง€์–ด ์šฉ๊ณจ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
24:10
Dan: Yeah, steady person is another way to put it.
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Dan: ๋„ค, ๊พธ์ค€ํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์€ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ํ‘œํ˜„์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
24:12
Steady.
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๊พธ์ค€ํ•œ.
24:13
Vanessa: So you could say, "I would like to marry someone who is even keeled," or, "I
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "๋‚˜๋Š” ๋ผˆ๊ฐ€ ๋ถ€๋Ÿฌ์ง„ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๊ณผ ๊ฒฐํ˜ผํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ด์š”." ๋˜๋Š” "๋‚˜๋Š”
24:18
need someone who's even keeled so that they will help me as well to manage myself."
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๋ผˆ๊ฐ€ ๋ถ€๋Ÿฌ์ง„ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ํ•„์š”ํ•ด์š”. ๊ทธ๋ž˜์•ผ ์ € ๋˜ํ•œ ์ œ ์ž์‹ ์„ ๊ด€๋ฆฌํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ ๋„์›€์ด ๋  ๊ฑฐ์˜ˆ์š”."
24:24
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
24:25
Vanessa: This really goes with my second tip.
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Vanessa: ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์ œ ๋‘ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ํŒ๊ณผ ์ •๋ง ์ž˜ ๋งž์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
24:28
My second tip is quite specific.
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๋‘ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ํŒ์€ ๋งค์šฐ ๊ตฌ์ฒด์ ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
24:32
It is something that's helped us a lot, which is-
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์—๊ฒŒ ๋งŽ์€ ๋„์›€์ด ๋˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
24:35
Dan: It's even keel.
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Dan: ์‹ฌ์ง€์–ด ์šฉ๊ณจ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
24:36
Vanessa: Yes.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
24:37
Dan: K-E-E-L.
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๋Œ„: K-E-E-L.
24:38
Vanessa: Oh, great.
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Vanessa: ์˜ค, ์ข‹์•„์š”.
24:39
Thank you for writing that in the live comments.
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๋ผ์ด๋ธŒ ๋Œ“๊ธ€์— ์จ์ฃผ์…”์„œ ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
24:40
That's excellent.
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ํ›Œ๋ฅญํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
24:41
My second comment is to delegate chores or specific tasks.
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๋‘ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ์˜๊ฒฌ์€ ์ง‘์•ˆ์ผ์ด๋‚˜ ํŠน์ • ์ž‘์—…์„ ์œ„์ž„ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
24:47
Dan: A specific one.
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๋Œ„: ๊ตฌ์ฒด์ ์ธ ๊ฒƒ.
24:49
Vanessa: This is really specific, but I feel like for me, maybe for me as a woman, in my
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Vanessa: ์ด๊ฑด ์ •๋ง ๊ตฌ์ฒด์ ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์ œ ๊ฒฝํ—˜์ƒ , ์•„๋งˆ๋„ ์—ฌ์„ฑ์œผ๋กœ์„œ ์ œ
24:55
experience, usually this chore ... Chores means doing the dishes, tidying up, cleaning
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๊ฒฝํ—˜์ƒ, ๋ณดํ†ต ์ด ์ง‘์•ˆ์ผ์€... ์ง‘์•ˆ์ผ์€ ์„ค๊ฑฐ์ง€, ์ •๋ฆฌ์ •๋ˆ,
25:03
the bathroom, sweeping the floor, household things.
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์š•์‹ค ์ฒญ์†Œ, ๋ฐ”๋‹ฅ ์ฒญ์†Œ, ์ง‘์•ˆ์ผ ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. .
25:06
This often is just what the wife does.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์ข…์ข… ์•„๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ํ•˜๋Š” ์ผ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
25:11
So if the wife doesn't want to do everything, it's so important to have a real conversation
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ์•„๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์„ ์›ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋Š”๋‹ค๋ฉด ๋ชจ๋“  ์ฃผ์ œ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์ง„์ •ํ•œ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚˜๋ˆ„๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋งค์šฐ ์ค‘์š”ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
25:17
together about all topics, especially if this really bugs you.
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.
25:22
Bugs you means bothers you.
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๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์˜๋ฏธํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฒ„๊ทธ๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์„ ๊ท€์ฐฎ๊ฒŒํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ
25:23
If it's something that's really important to you, don't be afraid to have a conversation
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์ •๋ง๋กœ ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ์ผ์ด๋ผ๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋Œ€ํ™”ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋‘๋ ค์›Œํ•˜์ง€ ๋งˆ์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค
25:27
about it.
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.
25:28
So, Dan and I have done this.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ Dan๊ณผ ์ €๋Š” ์ด๊ฒƒ์„ ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
25:29
We continually do this to change our roles and to change our specific things that we're
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์˜ ์—ญํ• ์„ ๋ฐ”๊พธ๊ณ  ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š” ํŠน์ • ์ผ์„ ๋ฐ”๊พธ๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ๊ณ„์†ํ•ด์„œ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
25:37
doing.
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.
25:38
But, we say, "Okay.
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” "์ข‹์•„์š”.
25:39
So, I feel like I've been doing a lot of laundry, and maybe the dishes haven't been done often.
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๋นจ๋ž˜๋ฅผ ๋งŽ์ด ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™๊ณ  ์„ค๊ฒ†์ด๋ฅผ ์ž์ฃผ ์•ˆ ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์•„์š”.
25:47
So, how can we make this more even?"
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๊ทธ๋Ÿผ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋ฉด ๋” ๊ณ ๋ฅด๊ฒŒ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„๊นŒ์š”?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
25:49
Really, this delegation ... Can you explain the word delegation or to delegate.
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์ •๋ง, ์ด ์œ„์ž„... ์œ„์ž„ ๋˜๋Š” ์œ„์ž„์ด๋ผ๋Š” ๋‹จ์–ด๋ฅผ ์„ค๋ช…ํ•ด ์ฃผ์‹œ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
25:53
Dan: Delegate just means that you are choosing what the different things people are doing.
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Dan: Delegate๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š” ๋‹ค์–‘ํ•œ ์ผ์„ ์„ ํƒํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ์˜๋ฏธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. Vanessa๊ฐ€
26:00
A lot of times, if somebody is a delegator, like if Vanessa delegates, then she is telling
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์œ„์ž„ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ์œ„์ž„์ž๋ผ๋ฉด ๊ทธ๋…€๋Š”
26:06
everybody what to do.
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๋ชจ๋“  ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์—๊ฒŒ ๋ฌด์—‡์„ ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•˜๋Š”์ง€ ์ง€์‹œํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
26:08
But if we're delegating together, we're both choosing what chores we want to do.
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์ผ์„ ์œ„์ž„ํ•œ๋‹ค๋ฉด, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๋‘˜ ๋‹ค ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ์ง‘์•ˆ์ผ์„ ์„ ํƒํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
26:14
I would add to this that this definitely depends on your relationship.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ํ™•์‹คํžˆ ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๊ด€๊ณ„์— ๋‹ฌ๋ ค ์žˆ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋ง๋ถ™์ผ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
26:19
So in some relationship, the man works all day and the woman works at home.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์–ด๋–ค ๊ด€๊ณ„์—์„œ ๋‚จ์ž๋Š” ํ•˜๋ฃจ์ข…์ผ ์ผํ•˜๊ณ  ์—ฌ์ž๋Š” ์ง‘์—์„œ ์ผํ•œ๋‹ค.
26:24
In that sense, it makes perfect sense for the woman to do more chores.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ์˜๋ฏธ์—์„œ ์—ฌ์„ฑ์ด ์ง‘์•ˆ์ผ์„ ๋” ๋งŽ์ด ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์™„๋ฒฝํ•˜๊ฒŒ ์ด์น˜์— ๋งž์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
26:29
Vanessa: The woman to do more.
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Vanessa: ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ์ผ์„ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ์—ฌ์ž.
26:30
Sure.
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ํ™•์‹ ํ•˜๋Š”.
26:31
Dan: But, in a lot of lot of relationships nowadays, both the man and the woman work.
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๋Œ„: ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ๋ฐ ์š”์ฆ˜ ์—ฐ์• ๋Š” ๋‚จ์ž ์—ฌ์ž ๋‘˜ ๋‹ค ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒฝ์šฐ๊ฐ€ ๋งŽ์•„์š”.
26:34
Vanessa: So, you've got a lot of roles to do.
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ, ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•  ์—ญํ• ์ด ๋งŽ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
26:37
Dan: Now you have to delegate.
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๋Œ„: ์ด์ œ ์œ„์ž„ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
26:39
Because if the man and the woman are both working, then you need to decide.
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๋‚จ์ž์™€ ์—ฌ์ž๊ฐ€ โ€‹โ€‹๋‘˜ ๋‹ค ์ผํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด ๊ฒฐ์ •ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
26:44
It's more important today to be on a good connect because you have to choose who is
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์˜ค๋Š˜๋‚  ์ข‹์€ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ์œ ์ง€ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋” ์ค‘์š”ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์™œ๋ƒํ•˜๋ฉด
26:49
doing what in the house, because it's not really fair if the man and the woman and working
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์ง‘์•ˆ์—์„œ ๋ˆ„๊ฐ€ ๋ฌด์—‡์„ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š”์ง€ ์„ ํƒํ•ด์•ผ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‚จ์ž์™€ ์—ฌ์ž, ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ 
26:54
for the woman to still do all the chores.
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์—ฌ์ž๋ฅผ ์œ„ํ•ด ์ผํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์—ฌ์ „ํžˆ ๋ชจ๋“  ์ง‘์•ˆ์ผ์„ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ •๋ง ๊ณตํ‰ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
26:57
That ain't fair.
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๊ทธ๊ฑด ๋ถˆ๊ณตํ‰ํ•ด.
26:58
Vanessa: Yeah.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
26:59
So in this situation, it's really worked well for us to say, "Okay, Dan always does the
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ด๋Ÿฐ ์ƒํ™ฉ์—์„œ "์ข‹์•„์š”, ๋Œ„์€ ํ•ญ์ƒ
27:05
laundry."
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๋นจ๋ž˜๋ฅผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ •๋ง ํšจ๊ณผ์ ์ด์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
27:06
And I, because we have a toddler, he's one and a half years old, I feed our baby.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ €๋Š” ์œ ์•„๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๊ทธ๋Š” ํ•œ ์‚ด ๋ฐ˜์ด๊ณ  ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์•„๊ธฐ์—๊ฒŒ ๋จน์ด๋ฅผ์ค๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
27:12
I nurse our baby a lot still.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ์—ฌ์ „ํžˆ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์•„๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๋งŽ์ด ๊ฐ„ํ˜ธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
27:15
So, this takes up a lot of my time, so I ... This is my job.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์ œ ์‹œ๊ฐ„์„ ๋งŽ์ด ์žก์•„๋จน์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ €๋Š”... ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ์ œ ์ผ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
27:19
I feed.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ๋จน์ธ๋‹ค.
27:21
I nurse our toddler and Dan does the laundry.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์•„๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๊ฐ„ํ˜ธํ•˜๊ณ  Dan์€ ๋นจ๋ž˜๋ฅผํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
27:24
He has to go all the way to the basement.
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๊ทธ๋Š” ์ง€ํ•˜์‹ค๊นŒ์ง€ ๊ฐ€์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
27:27
He has to wait in the middle of the night for the laundry to be finished.
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๊ทธ๋Š” ์„ธํƒ์ด ๋๋‚  ๋•Œ๊นŒ์ง€ ํ•œ๋ฐค์ค‘์— ๊ธฐ๋‹ค๋ ค์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ํ•˜๊ธฐ
27:31
This is a difficult task that I don't want to do.
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์‹ซ์€ ์–ด๋ ค์šด ์ž‘์—…์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
27:34
And he can't nurse our baby.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์•„๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๊ฐ„ํ˜ธํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
27:35
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
27:36
Vanessa: So here, we delegate.
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์—์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์œ„์ž„ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
27:37
Dan: And we're saying delegate, D-E-L-E-G-A-T-E, not delicate.
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Dan: ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” Delegate, D-E-L-E-G-A-T-E, ์„ฌ์„ธํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
27:41
Vanessa: Yeah, it doesn't have a C. It has a G.
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Vanessa: ์˜ˆ, C๊ฐ€ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. G๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
27:43
Dan: Delegate.
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Dan: Delegate.
27:44
You can also say negotiate.
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ํ˜‘์ƒ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
27:46
Vanessa: We nee to negotiate our roles.
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Vanessa: ์—ญํ• ์„ ํ˜‘์ƒํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
27:48
Dan: Negotiate is, "All right, I want to do this, but I don't really want to do this."
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Dan: ํ˜‘์ƒ์€ "์ข‹์•„์š”. ์ด๊ฑธ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€๋งŒ ๋ณ„๋กœ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€๋Š” ์•Š์•„์š”."์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
27:54
So, you're deciding and you're giving and you're taking.
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ๊ฒฐ์ •ํ•˜๊ณ  ์ฃผ๊ณ  ๋ฐ›๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
27:58
This is for a lot of relationships as well.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋˜ํ•œ ๋งŽ์€ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ์œ„ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
28:00
You have to negotiate.
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ํ˜‘์ƒํ•ด์•ผํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
28:01
Vanessa: I think the general principle that we're talking about here is just good communication,
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Vanessa: ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์ธ ์›์น™์€
28:07
that do not expect your partner, your husband or your wife, to read your mind.
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ํŒŒํŠธ๋„ˆ, ๋‚จํŽธ ๋˜๋Š” ์•„๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๋งˆ์Œ์„ ์ฝ์„ ๊ฒƒ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ๊ธฐ๋Œ€ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋Š” ์ข‹์€ ์˜์‚ฌ์†Œํ†ต์— ๋ถˆ๊ณผํ•˜๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
28:13
This means reading your thoughts.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์ƒ๊ฐ์„ ์ฝ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
28:16
I've noticed that for me ... I think this is maybe true.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋‚˜์—๊ฒŒ ์žˆ์Œ์„ ๊นจ๋‹ฌ์•˜์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค ... ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ์•„๋งˆ๋„ ์‚ฌ์‹ค์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
28:20
I'm making a lot of generalizations here.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ ๋งŽ์€ ์ผ๋ฐ˜ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋งŒ๋“ค๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
28:22
I think it's general- Dan: You have to.
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์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์ธ ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์•„์š”. ๋Œ„: ๊ทธ๋ž˜์•ผ ํ•ด์š”.
28:23
Vanessa: ... generally true that it's good to be clear and straightforward.
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Vanessa: ... ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋ช…ํ™•ํ•˜๊ณ  ์ง์„ค์ ์ธ ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ข‹๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์‚ฌ์‹ค์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
28:32
Straightforward means- Dan: Especially with a man.
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๊ฐ„๋‹จํ•œ ์˜๋ฏธ- Dan: ํŠนํžˆ ๋‚จ์ž์™€ ํ•จ๊ป˜.
28:34
Vanessa: ... very clear with your husband.
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Vanessa: ...๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๋‚จํŽธ์—๊ฒŒ ๋งค์šฐ ๋ถ„๋ช…ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
28:36
That if I beat around the bush, this means says something indirectly, sometimes Dan doesn't
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๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋ค๋ถˆ ์ฃผ์œ„๋ฅผ ๋‘๋“œ๋ฆฌ๋ฉด ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ฐ„์ ‘์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•˜๋ฉฐ ๋•Œ๋กœ๋Š” Dan์ด ์ดํ•ดํ•˜์ง€ ๋ชปํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
28:44
get it.
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.
28:45
So, I need to be clear and say, "Oh, there's ... " This is beating around the bush.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ €๋Š” ๋ช…ํ™•ํ•˜๊ฒŒ "์•„, ์ €๊ธฐ ..."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
28:52
If I said, "Oh, I don't have any socks," that's beating around the bush.
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๋‚ด๊ฐ€ "์˜ค, ์–‘๋ง์ด ์—†์–ด์š”"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋ฉด ๋ค๋ถˆ ์ฃผ์œ„๋ฅผ ๋‘๋“œ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
29:00
Being clear is, "Have you done the laundry?
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๋ถ„๋ช…ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์€ "๋นจ๋ž˜ํ–ˆ๋‹ˆ?
29:03
I need more socks."
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์–‘๋ง์ด ๋” ํ•„์š”ํ•ด."์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
29:05
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
29:06
Vanessa: This is very clear, so realizing that the other person cannot read your mind.
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Vanessa: ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋งค์šฐ ๋ช…ํ™•ํ•˜๋ฏ€๋กœ ์ƒ๋Œ€๋ฐฉ์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๋งˆ์Œ์„ ์ฝ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์—†๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊นจ๋‹ซ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
29:11
If I said, "Oh, I don't want anything for my birthday.
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"์˜ค, ๋‚ด ์ƒ์ผ์— ์•„๋ฌด๊ฒƒ๋„ ์›ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์•„ .
29:14
You don't need to buy me anything."
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์•„๋ฌด๊ฒƒ๋„ ์‚ฌ์ค„ ํ•„์š” ์—†์–ด."
29:15
Okay.
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์ข‹์•„์š”.
29:17
Maybe he's going to believe that, but really in my heart I really want a present.
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๋ฏฟ์œผ์‹ค์ง€๋„ ๋ชจ๋ฅด์ง€๋งŒ, ๋งˆ์Œ์†์œผ๋กœ๋Š” ์ •๋ง ์„ ๋ฌผ์„ ์›ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
29:21
Just tell him.
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๊ทธ์—๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•ด.
29:22
"I would like a present.
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"์„ ๋ฌผ์„ ์›ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
29:24
Please find me something special from your heart.
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๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๋งˆ์Œ์—์„œ ํŠน๋ณ„ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ฐพ์•„์ฃผ์„ธ์š” .
29:26
Great."
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ํ›Œ๋ฅญํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."
29:27
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
29:28
Although, on the flip side, if you're a guy, it's better if you know these things already.
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๋ฐ˜๋Œ€๋กœ ๋‚จ์ž๋ผ๋ฉด ์ด๋Ÿฐ ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์„ ์ด๋ฏธ ์•Œ๊ณ  ์žˆ์œผ๋ฉด ๋” ์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
29:32
Vanessa: But, I'm saying as a couple, it's good to be clear and straightforward.
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Vanessa: ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๋ถ€๋ถ€๋กœ์„œ ๋ถ„๋ช…ํ•˜๊ณ  ์ง์„ค์ ์ธ ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
29:38
Dan: I think more for things you want in daily life, not gifts.
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๋Œ„: ์„ ๋ฌผ๋ณด๋‹ค๋Š” ์ผ์ƒ์—์„œ ๊ฐ–๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋” ๋งŽ์ด ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด์š” .
29:44
Like doing the laundry, it's better to just say, "Hey, I need the laundry done soon, please."
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๋นจ๋ž˜๋ฅผ ํ•  ๋•Œ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ "๋นจ๋ž˜ ์ข€ ๋นจ๋ฆฌ ํ•ด์ฃผ์„ธ์š”."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
29:48
Vanessa: Yeah, sure.
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Vanessa: ๋„ค, ๋ฌผ๋ก ์ด์ฃ .
29:49
Or to just be on top of it.
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์•„๋‹ˆ๋ฉด ๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ๊ทธ ์œ„์—์žˆ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
29:51
Dan: That's more direct.
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Dan: ๋” ์ง์ ‘์ ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
29:52
Vanessa: Yes, so let's go on.
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Vanessa: ์˜ˆ, ๊ณ„์†ํ•˜๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
29:53
We said to delegate some chores, delegate some tasks.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ผ๋ถ€ ์ง‘์•ˆ์ผ์„ ์œ„์ž„ํ•˜๊ณ  ์ผ๋ถ€ ์ž‘์—…์„ ์œ„์ž„ํ•œ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
29:57
Recently, we just booked a special vacation, and Dan booked our rental car, and I booked
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์ตœ๊ทผ์— ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ํŠน๋ณ„ํ•œ ํœด๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ์˜ˆ์•ฝํ–ˆ๊ณ  Dan์€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๋ ŒํŠธ์นด๋ฅผ ์˜ˆ์•ฝํ–ˆ๊ณ  ๋‚˜๋Š”
30:04
the places where we're going to stay.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๋จธ๋ฌผ ๊ณณ์„ ์˜ˆ์•ฝํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
30:05
Dan: Oh, yes.
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๋Œ„: ์•„, ๋„ค.
30:06
We delegated because I said, "I don't want to plan the vacation, all of the travel details
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์œ„์ž„ํ•œ ์ด์œ ๋Š” ์ œ๊ฐ€ " ํœด๊ฐ€, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๊ฐ€๋Š” ๋ชจ๋“  ์—ฌํ–‰ ์„ธ๋ถ€ ์‚ฌํ•ญ์„ ๊ณ„ํšํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
30:12
where we're going," because I was a little nervous about that.
630
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3030
."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ–ˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์•ฝ๊ฐ„ ๊ธด์žฅํ–ˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
30:15
But, I said, "I'll plan the transportation.
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์ €๋Š” "๊ตํ†ตํŽธ์€ ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๊ณ„ํšํ• ๊ฒŒ.
30:18
I'll do the car, and where we're going, and the driving, and that kind of thing."
632
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์ฐจ, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๊ฐˆ ๊ณณ, ์šด์ „ ๋“ฑ๋“ฑ์€ ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ํ• ๊ฒŒ."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
30:22
Vanessa: Yeah, and I planned.
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Vanessa: ์˜ˆ, ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ณ„ํšํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
30:23
Dan: I'm cool with that.
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๋Œ„: ๋‚œ ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์•„.
30:24
Vanessa: I planned where we're going to stay, and Dan planned the car.
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Vanessa: ๋‚˜๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๋จธ๋ฌผ ๊ณณ์„ ๊ณ„ํšํ–ˆ๊ณ  Dan์€ ์ฐจ๋ฅผ ๊ณ„ํšํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
30:26
This, for me, it split.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‚˜์—๊ฒŒ ๋ถ„ํ• ๋˜์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
30:28
It divided the work.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ผ์„ ๋‚˜๋ˆด๋‹ค.
30:29
I didn't need to do everything.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์„ ํ•  ํ•„์š”๊ฐ€ ์—†์—ˆ๋‹ค.
30:31
Dan didn't need to do everything, but we both did ... We negotiated some kind of equal thing
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6460
Dan์€ ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์„ ํ•  ํ•„์š”๊ฐ€ ์—†์—ˆ์ง€๋งŒ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๋‘˜ ๋‹ค ... ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์„œ๋กœ ๋™๋“ฑํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์„ ํ˜‘์ƒํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
30:38
with each other, which is something I really appreciate about our relationship.
640
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. ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๊ด€๊ณ„์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ •๋ง ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
30:40
All right, we are going a little bit long here, so let's go on to-
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3500
์ข‹์•„, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ ์กฐ๊ธˆ ์˜ค๋ž˜ ๊ฐˆ๊ฑฐ์•ผ , ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๊ณ„์† ๊ฐ€์ž-
30:44
Dan: The last one.
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๋Œ„: ๋งˆ์ง€๋ง‰ ๊ฒƒ.
30:45
Vanessa: ... the third tip, which is very specific as well.
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Vanessa: ... ์„ธ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ํŒ ๋„ ๋งค์šฐ ๊ตฌ์ฒด์ ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
30:48
It's something that I think ... I don't know many other couples who do this, but I think
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5039
์ œ ์ƒ๊ฐ์—๋Š”... ์ด๋Ÿฐ ์ผ์„ ํ•˜๋Š” ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์ปคํ”Œ์€ ๋งŽ์ง€ ์•Š์ง€๋งŒ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ
30:53
it's something that's really worked well for us.
645
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1271
์—๊ฒŒ๋Š” ์ •๋ง ์ž˜ ๋œ ์ผ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
30:54
So, what is your third, your third tip, our fifth tip together, our final tip for the
646
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5640
๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ, ์„ธ ๋ฒˆ์งธ, ์„ธ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ์š”๋ น, ๋‹ค์„ฏ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ์š”๋ น, ๊ฑด๊ฐ•์„ ์œ„ํ•œ ๋งˆ์ง€๋ง‰ ์š”๋ น์€ ๋ฌด์—‡์ž…๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
31:00
healthy- Dan: My final tip-
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1360
Dan: ๋‚˜์˜ ๋งˆ์ง€๋ง‰ ์š”๋ น-
31:01
Vanessa: Yes.
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1000
Vanessa: ์˜ˆ.
31:02
Dan: ... for a good and strong relationship- Vanessa: Yes.
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2969
Dan: ... ์ข‹๊ณ  ๊ฐ•ํ•œ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ์œ„ํ•ด- Vanessa: ์˜ˆ.
31:05
Dan: ... is to check in regularly.
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1961
Dan: ... ์ •๊ธฐ์ ์œผ๋กœ ์ฒดํฌ์ธํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
31:07
Vanessa: Check in.
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Vanessa: ํ™•์ธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
31:08
Dan: We have check in.
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1390
Dan: ํ™•์ธํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
31:10
Vanessa: A wonderful phrasal verb.
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1429
Vanessa: ๋ฉ‹์ง„ ๊ตฌ๋™์‚ฌ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
31:11
Dan: Yes, check in.
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Dan: ๋„ค, ์ฒดํฌ์ธํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
31:14
This means that you are planning a day or a date where you are going to talk about important
655
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8980
์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ์ผ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•  ๋‚ ์งœ๋‚˜ ๋‚ ์งœ๋ฅผ ๊ณ„ํšํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๊ฑฐ๋‚˜
31:23
things, or you're going to plan a conversation.
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๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๊ณ„ํšํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๋œป์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
31:26
Vanessa: Yes.
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1000
๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
31:27
Dan: So if you check in with each other, maybe you ask, "How are you feeling?
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Dan: ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์„œ๋กœ ํ™•์ธํ•˜๋ฉด "๊ธฐ๋ถ„์ด ์–ด๋•Œ?
31:32
How are you feeling about- " Vanessa: Your week.
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3299
๊ธฐ๋ถ„์ด ์–ด๋•Œ-"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ฌผ์–ด๋ณผ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. Vanessa: ์ผ์ฃผ์ผ.
31:35
Dan: " ... the school our kid is going to," or, "How do you feel about ... " Yeah, how
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1895679
5042
Dan: "... ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์•„์ด๊ฐ€ ๋‹ค๋‹ˆ๋Š” ํ•™๊ต" ๋˜๋Š” "...์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์„ธ์š”?" ๊ทธ๋ž˜,
31:40
do you feel about the week?
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1048
์ผ์ฃผ์ผ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋‹ˆ?
31:41
Vanessa: How was your week last week?
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1491
Vanessa: ์ง€๋‚œ ์ฃผ ์–ด๋• ์–ด?
31:43
Dan: You're checking in.
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1000
Dan: ์ฒดํฌ์ธ ์ค‘์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
31:44
Vanessa: Yes.
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Vanessa: ์˜ˆ.
31:45
Dan: This is, check in can me a lot of different things.
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Dan: ์ด๊ฒƒ์€, ์ฒดํฌ์ธ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๋งŽ์€ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์„ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
31:47
A lot of times, if you see check in, it just means that you are going to a hotel and they're
666
1907850
5380
๋Œ€๋ถ€๋ถ„์˜ ๊ฒฝ์šฐ ์ฒดํฌ์ธ์ด ํ‘œ์‹œ๋˜๋ฉด ํ˜ธํ…”์— ๊ฐ„๋‹ค๋Š” ์˜๋ฏธ์ด๋ฉฐ ์ง์›์ด
31:53
going to write you in to the hotel.
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ํ˜ธํ…”๋กœ ์•ˆ๋‚ดํ•ด ์ค„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
31:54
Vanessa: I'm going to check in to the hotel at 10 AM.
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3079
Vanessa: ์˜ค์ „ 10์‹œ์— ํ˜ธํ…”์— ์ฒดํฌ์ธํ•  ์˜ˆ์ •์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
31:57
But here we're talking about emotionally.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฐ์ •์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
31:59
Dan: But if you emotionally check in with each other, or it might not even be emotional.
670
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5841
๋Œ„: ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๊ฐ์ •์ ์œผ๋กœ ์„œ๋กœ๋ฅผ ํ™•์ธํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๊ฐ์ •์ ์ด์ง€ ์•Š์„ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
32:05
It could be the kind of things you're doing in the week, maybe a little more pragmatic.
671
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ทธ ์ฃผ์— ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š” ์ข…๋ฅ˜์˜ ์ผ์ด ๋  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ๊ณ  , ์ข€ ๋” ์‹ค์šฉ์ ์ผ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
32:11
Vanessa: So the specific way that this plays out ... Plays out is another phrasal verbs
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4090
Vanessa: ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ๊ตฌ์ฒด์ ์œผ๋กœ ์ง„ํ–‰๋˜๋Š” ๋ฐฉ์‹์€ ... ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๊ด€๊ณ„์— ์ ์šฉ๋˜๋Š” ๋˜ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๊ตฌ๋™์‚ฌ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
32:15
that this goes in our relationship is we have meetings once a week every Sunday when our
673
1935350
9209
๋งค์ฃผ ์ผ์š”์ผ์—
32:24
baby, our toddler, our child, is taking a nap.
674
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3870
์•„๊ธฐ, ์œ ์•„, ์•„์ด๊ฐ€ ๋‚ฎ์ž ์„ ์ž๋Š” ๋™์•ˆ ๋ชจ์ž„์„ ๊ฐ–์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
32:28
We have an organized meeting.
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์กฐ์ง์ ์ธ ํšŒ์˜๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
32:30
Dan: We call it a meeting.
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Dan: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ํšŒ์˜๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ถ€๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
32:31
It's not really a meeting.
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์ •๋ง ํšŒ์˜๊ฐ€ ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
32:33
Vanessa: It's organized.
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Vanessa: ์กฐ์ง์ ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
32:34
I think that sometimes a date, you just eat together and talk together about anything,
679
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4900
๋ฐ์ดํŠธ๋„ ๊ฐ€๋” ๊ฐ™์ด ๋ฐฅ๋จน๊ณ  ์•„๋ฌด๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๋Š”๊ฑฐ ๊ฐ™์€๋ฐ ํ™”ํ’€์ด ํ•˜๊ธฐ์ „์— ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ํ•˜๋‹ˆ๊นŒ
32:39
but I really appreciate that it's organized because we were talking about before letting
680
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5990
์ •๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๋˜์–ด์„œ ์ •๋ง ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
32:45
your anger build up.
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.
32:47
This is terrible thing for you.
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1731
์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ๋”์ฐํ•œ ์ผ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
32:49
It's terrible for your relationship.
683
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1359
๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๊ด€๊ณ„์— ๋”์ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
32:50
But I know every Sunday we're going to have a meeting.
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4331
ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์ €๋Š” ๋งค์ฃผ ์ผ์š”์ผ์— ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๋ชจ์ž„์„ ๊ฐ–๋Š”๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์••๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
32:54
So if there's something big that I want to talk about, I can talk about it on ... Of
685
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ํฐ ์ผ์ด ์žˆ์œผ๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค ...
33:00
course I can talk about it at that moment if I wanted to.
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2340
๋ฌผ๋ก  ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์›ํ•œ๋‹ค๋ฉด ๊ทธ ์ˆœ๊ฐ„์— ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
33:02
Dan: "Would you say check in is analyze?"
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๋Œ„: "์ฒดํฌ์ธ์ด ๋ถ„์„์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ํ• ๊นŒ์š”?"
33:05
Somebody asked.
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1000
๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€ ๋ฌผ์—ˆ๋‹ค.
33:06
Vanessa: Oh, we could analyze our week.
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1260
Vanessa: ์˜ค, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์˜ ์ฃผ๋ฅผ ๋ถ„์„ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
33:07
Dan: If we're checking in.
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1000
Dan: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ™•์ธํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒฝ์šฐ.
33:08
Vanessa: Checking in with each other.
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1130
Vanessa: ์„œ๋กœ ํ™•์ธํ•˜๋Š” ์ค‘์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
33:09
Dan: It could have some analyzation.
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1030
Dan: ์•ฝ๊ฐ„์˜ ๋ถ„์„์ด ์žˆ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
33:10
Analyzation?
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1000
๋ถ„์„?
33:11
Vanessa: Sure, you can analyze each other.
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1000
Vanessa: ๋ฌผ๋ก ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์„œ๋กœ๋ฅผ ๋ถ„์„ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
33:12
Dan: You can analyze.
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1310
๋Œ„: ๋ถ„์„ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
33:14
Vanessa: Or analyze your week.
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1840
Vanessa: ๋˜๋Š” ํ•œ ์ฃผ๋ฅผ ๋ถ„์„ํ•ด ๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
33:16
Dan: Yeah, it's more just a time to really ... It's where you say it's okay to talk about
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Dan: ๋„ค, ์ •๋ง ... ๊ทธ ์ฃผ์˜ ๋ฌธ์ œ๋‚˜ ๋Š๋‚Œ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•ด๋„ ๊ดœ์ฐฎ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ์‹œ๊ฐ„์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
33:23
maybe the problems of the week or how you felt.
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.
33:25
So for example, in our check-in time, in our meeting, we always rate the week one to five.
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์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ๋“ค์–ด ์ฒดํฌ์ธ ์‹œ๊ฐ„์ด๋‚˜ ํšŒ์˜์—์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ํ•ญ์ƒ 1์ฃผ์—์„œ 5์ฃผ๋ฅผ ํ‰๊ฐ€ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
33:32
Vanessa: Let's talk about how do we start.
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Vanessa: ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•ด ๋ด…์‹œ๋‹ค.
33:34
So, on Sunday, our child takes a nap.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ผ์š”์ผ์— ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์•„์ด๋Š” ๋‚ฎ์ž ์„ ์ž”๋‹ค.
33:38
We usually drink some tea or coffee, and we sit down at the dinner table.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋ณดํ†ต ์ฐจ๋‚˜ ์ปคํ”ผ๋ฅผ ๋งˆ์‹œ๊ณ  ์‹ํƒ์— ์•‰์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
33:44
What's the first thing that we do?
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๊ฐ€์žฅ ๋จผ์ € ํ•  ์ผ์€ ๋ฌด์—‡์ž…๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
33:45
This is just what we created.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๋งŒ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
33:46
Dan: This is what we do.
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๋Œ„: ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ•˜๋Š” ์ผ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
33:47
Vanessa: Yeah.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
33:48
Dan: So first, we try to say two things that we appreciate about each other.
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๋Œ„: ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๋จผ์ € ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์„œ๋กœ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๊ณ ๋ง™๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋Š” ๋‘ ๊ฐ€์ง€๋ฅผ ๋งํ•˜๋ ค๊ณ  ๋…ธ๋ ฅํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
33:53
Vanessa: Something very specific.
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Vanessa: ๋งค์šฐ ๊ตฌ์ฒด์ ์ธ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
33:54
Dan: We try to say something nice about each other.
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๋Œ„: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์„œ๋กœ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ข‹์€ ๋ง์„ ํ•˜๋ ค๊ณ  ๋…ธ๋ ฅํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
33:56
Vanessa: Because often, maybe there's some kind of criticism.
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Vanessa: ์ข…์ข… ์–ด๋–ค ์ข…๋ฅ˜์˜ ๋น„ํŒ์ด ์žˆ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
33:59
"Oh, I was really upset because you didn't do the laundry for three days."
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"์•„, ๋„ค๊ฐ€ 3์ผ ๋™์•ˆ ๋นจ๋ž˜๋ฅผ ์•ˆ ํ•ด์„œ ์ •๋ง ์†์ƒํ–ˆ์–ด."
34:04
There's can be some things that are a little bit difficult that we talk about, so it's
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์กฐ๊ธˆ ์–ด๋ ค์šธ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์œผ๋ฏ€๋กœ
34:07
always good to start with something positive.
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ํ•ญ์ƒ ๊ธ์ •์ ์ธ ๊ฒƒ์œผ๋กœ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
34:09
So for us, we say, "I appreciate that you made an amazing dinner last night.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. " ์–ด์ ฏ๋ฐค ๋ฉ‹์ง„ ์ €๋… ์‹์‚ฌ๋ฅผ ๋งŒ๋“ค์–ด ์ฃผ์…”์„œ ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
34:15
I also was really thankful that you took our car to the mechanic to get the oil changed."
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์˜ค์ผ์„ ๊ตํ™˜ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ์ •๋น„์‚ฌ์—๊ฒŒ ์ฐจ๋ฅผ ๊ฐ€์ ธ๊ฐ€ ์ฃผ์…”์„œ ์ •๋ง ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."
34:22
Okay, simple, clear, very specific.
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์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ฐ„๋‹จํ•˜๊ณ  ๋ช…ํ™•ํ•˜๋ฉฐ ๋งค์šฐ ๊ตฌ์ฒด์ ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
34:25
And for me, it feels- Dan: Women like this a lot.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ €์—๊ฒŒ๋Š” ๊ธฐ๋ถ„์ด- ๋Œ„: ์—ฌ์ž๋“ค์ด ์ด๊ฑธ ๋งŽ์ด ์ข‹์•„ํ•ด์š”.
34:28
Vanessa: It feels really good.
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Vanessa: ๊ธฐ๋ถ„์ด ์ •๋ง ์ข‹์•„์š”.
34:29
It feels really good because I know that I do a lot of things, and I know that Dan doesn't
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๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋งŽ์€ ์ผ์„ ํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์ •๋ง ๊ธฐ๋ถ„์ด ์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . Dan์ด
34:35
need to say, "Thank you for picking up our baby's toys.
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"์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์•„๊ธฐ์˜ ์žฅ๋‚œ๊ฐ์„ ์ง‘์–ด์ค˜์„œ ๊ณ ๋งˆ์›Œ.
34:39
Thank you for doing this."
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์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ํ•ด์ฃผ์…”์„œ ๊ณ ๋งˆ์›Œ."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ํ•„์š”๊ฐ€ ์—†๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
34:41
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
34:42
Vanessa: He doesn't need to say thank you for everything.
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๋Š” ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•˜๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ํ•„์š”๊ฐ€ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
34:43
Dan: I appreciate this.
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๋Œ„: ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
34:44
Vanessa: Yeah.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
34:45
Dan: Yeah, you don't go through everything.
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Dan: ์˜ˆ, ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊ฑฐ์น˜์ง€๋Š” ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
34:46
Just choose two specific things.
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๋‘ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ๊ตฌ์ฒด์ ์ธ ๊ฒƒ์„ ์„ ํƒํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
34:47
Vanessa: So it makes me feel good.
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Vanessa: ๊ธฐ๋ถ„์ด ์ข‹์•„์ง€๋„ค์š”.
34:48
Dan: "Wow.
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๋Œ„: "์™€.
34:49
I really appreciated that you watched Theo."
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ํ…Œ์˜ค๋ฅผ ๋ด์ฃผ์…”์„œ ์ •๋ง ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."
34:51
Theo's our baby.
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ํ…Œ์˜ค๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์•„๊ธฐ์•ผ. ์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ๋“ค์–ด
34:53
"I appreciate you watched Theo for two hours while I went to a movie," for example.
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"๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์˜ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋ณด๋Ÿฌ ๊ฐ€๋Š” ๋™์•ˆ ๋‘ ์‹œ๊ฐ„ ๋™์•ˆ Theo๋ฅผ ์‹œ์ฒญํ•ด ์ฃผ์…”์„œ ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค ."
34:58
Vanessa: "While I exercised.
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Vanessa: "์šด๋™ํ•˜๋Š” ๋™์•ˆ.
34:59
Thank you."
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๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."
35:00
Dan: "Wow.
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๋Œ„: "์™€์šฐ.
35:01
That was really great of you."
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์ •๋ง ๋Œ€๋‹จํ•˜์…จ์–ด์š”."
35:02
Vanessa: And it feels good to be appreciated.
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Vanessa: ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•˜๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋‹ˆ ๊ธฐ๋ถ„์ด ์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
35:03
So, this is what we do at the very beginning.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ, ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๋งจ ์ฒ˜์Œ์— ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
35:05
Then, what happens next?
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๊ทธ ๋‹ค์Œ์—๋Š” ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
35:07
Dan: Then we rank our week, right?
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๋Œ„: ๊ทธ๋Ÿผ ์ด๋ฒˆ ์ฃผ ์ˆœ์œ„๋ฅผ ๋งค๊ธฐ์ฃ ?
35:10
One to five, how was our week?
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ํ•˜๋‚˜๋ถ€ํ„ฐ ๋‹ค์„ฏ๊นŒ์ง€, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์ผ์ฃผ์ผ์€ ์–ด๋• ์–ด?
35:13
"My week was a 3.5."
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"๋‚ด ์ผ์ฃผ์ผ์€ 3.5์˜€์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."
35:14
Vanessa: And why.
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์™œ.
35:15
Dan: And then why.
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๋Œ„: ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์™œ์š”.
35:16
Vanessa: What happened?
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋ฌด์Šจ ์ผ์ด ์žˆ์—ˆ๋‚˜์š”?
35:17
Dan: "Yeah, well, blah, blah, blah."
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๋Œ„: "๊ทธ๋ž˜, ๊ธ€์Ž„, ์–ด์ฉŒ๊ตฌ ์ €์ฉŒ๊ตฌ."
35:18
You go over what liked about the week, what you didn't like, how it could be better.
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๊ทธ ์ฃผ์— ์ข‹์•˜๋˜ ์ , ๋งˆ์Œ์— ๋“ค์ง€ ์•Š์€ ์ , ๋” ๋‚˜์•„์งˆ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์„ ๊ฒ€ํ† ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
35:23
So if you do this every week, then you're kind of ... You're checking in with each other.
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ๋งค์ฃผ ์ด ์ž‘์—…์„ ์ˆ˜ํ–‰ํ•˜๋ฉด ์ผ์ข…์˜... ์„œ๋กœ ํ™•์ธํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
35:27
Then, you're thinking, "Well, what could make the next week a little better."
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋‹ค์Œ "๊ธ€์Ž„, ๋‹ค์Œ ์ฃผ๋ฅผ ์กฐ๊ธˆ ๋” ์ข‹๊ฒŒ ๋งŒ๋“ค ์ˆ˜์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ฌด์—‡์ž…๋‹ˆ๊นŒ? "๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
35:31
Vanessa: And you used a great phrasal verb here.
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ ํ›Œ๋ฅญํ•œ ๊ตฌ๋™์‚ฌ๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
35:33
You go over the week.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ผ์ฃผ์ผ์— ๊ฐ„๋‹ค.
35:35
Go over doesn't mean literally over.
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Go over๋Š” ๋ง ๊ทธ๋Œ€๋กœ ๋๋‚ฌ๋‹ค๋Š” ๋œป์ด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
35:37
Here, it means you're just discussing.
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์—ฌ๊ธฐ์—์„œ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋‹จ์ง€ ํ† ๋ก ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
35:41
You're going in detail about the week.
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์ฃผ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ž์„ธํžˆ ์„ค๋ช…ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
35:44
"I rate this past week a 3.8 because this happened, but also this happened."
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"์ด๋Ÿฐ ์ผ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚ฌ์ง€๋งŒ ์ด๋Ÿฐ ์ผ๋„ ์ผ์–ด๋‚ฌ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์ง€๋‚œ ์ฃผ์— 3.8์ ์„ ๋ฐ›์•˜์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค ."
35:53
It helps you to kind of review the week.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ทธ ์ฃผ๋ฅผ ๊ฒ€ํ† ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ ๋„์›€์ด ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
35:56
Then, if something made you feel negative, it's a good time to say, "Oh, but I didn't
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋‹ค์Œ ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€ ๋ถ€์ •์ ์ธ ๋Š๋‚Œ์ด ๋“ ๋‹ค๋ฉด "์•„,
36:03
sleep enough.
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์ž ์„ ์ถฉ๋ถ„ํžˆ ๋ชป ์žค์–ด์š”.
36:04
I felt so tired all week.
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์ผ์ฃผ์ผ ๋‚ด๋‚ด ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ํ”ผ๊ณคํ–ˆ์–ด์š”.
36:05
So, maybe this week I'm going to try to do something better."
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ด๋ฒˆ ์ฃผ์— ์ข€ ๋” ๋‚˜์€ ์ผ์„ ํ•ด๋ด์•ผ๊ฒ ๋„ค์š”."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "
36:08
And that's kind of the next part, is we talk about the details of ... "Next week, here's
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ผ์ข…์˜ ๋‹ค์Œ ๋ถ€๋ถ„์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์„ธ๋ถ€ ์‚ฌํ•ญ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "๋‹ค์Œ ์ฃผ์—
36:15
our plans.
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๊ณ„ํš์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
36:16
Next week, I'm going to try to go to bed at this time.
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๋‹ค์Œ ์ฃผ์—๋Š” ์ด ์‹œ๊ฐ„์— ์ž๋ ค๊ณ  ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
36:19
I have a lot of work to do, so I'm going to try to do it in the morning.
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ํ•˜๋‹ˆ๊นŒ ์•„์นจ์— ํ•ด๋ณผ๊ฒŒ.
36:23
How can we work together?"
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์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๊ฐ™์ด ์ผํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์ง€?"
36:25
It's like a meeting.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ํšŒ์˜์™€ ๊ฐ™์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
36:26
I feel like it's like a meeting.
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๋ชจ์ž„ ๊ฐ™์€ ๋Š๋‚Œ์ด ๋“ญ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
36:27
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
36:28
Vanessa: It's pretty organized, but- Dan: And again, another ... One more disclaimer
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Vanessa: ๊ฝค ์กฐ์ง์ ์ด์ง€๋งŒ- Dan: ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋˜ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋ฉด์ฑ… ์‚ฌํ•ญ์ด ํ•˜๋‚˜ ๋” ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
36:31
is this is very important for us because we have a very open schedule.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ผ์ •์ด ๋งค์šฐ ์—ด๋ ค ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์—๊ฒŒ ๋งค์šฐ ์ค‘์š”ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
36:40
We don't have traditional jobs.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ „ํ†ต์ ์ธ ์ง์—…์ด ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
36:42
So if you don't have a traditional job, if you're an entrepreneur, if you spend a lot
772
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์ „ํ†ต์ ์ธ ์ง์—…์ด ์—†๋‹ค๋ฉด, ๊ธฐ์—…๊ฐ€๋ผ๋ฉด,
36:46
of time working together, like we have to work together-
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ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์ผํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ ๋งŽ์€ ์‹œ๊ฐ„์„ ํ• ์• ํ•œ๋‹ค๋ฉด, ๋งˆ์น˜ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์ผํ•ด์•ผ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ-
36:49
Vanessa: A lot for everything.
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Vanessa: ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋งŽ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
36:50
Dan: So, we're almost like business partners, really.
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Dan: ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฑฐ์˜ ๋น„์ฆˆ๋‹ˆ์Šค ํŒŒํŠธ๋„ˆ์™€ ๊ฐ™์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
36:53
So, it's important to do this.
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ค‘์š”ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
36:55
Some other people, I think you could do this maybe once a month because maybe the man is
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ํ•œ ๋‹ฌ์— ํ•œ ๋ฒˆ ์ •๋„ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์™œ๋ƒํ•˜๋ฉด ๋‚จ์ž๋Š”
37:00
working here and the woman's here, and they're a little more separate.
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์—ฌ๊ธฐ์—์„œ ์ผํ•˜๊ณ  ์—ฌ์ž๋Š” ์—ฌ๊ธฐ ์žˆ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ์กฐ๊ธˆ ๋” ๋ถ„๋ฆฌ๋˜์–ด ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
37:03
You know, that's okay, too.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ๋„ ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
37:04
You don't have to do everything together.
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๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์„ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ํ•  ํ•„์š”๋Š” ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
37:06
Vanessa: Something that we often do during this meeting, we've missed a little bit, but
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Vanessa: ์ด ํšŒ์˜์—์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์ž์ฃผ ํ•˜๋Š” ์ผ ์ค‘ ์•ฝ๊ฐ„์€ ๋†“์ณค์ง€๋งŒ
37:12
for about three maybe four years, once a month during that meeting, we keep track of our
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์•ฝ 3~4๋…„ ๋™์•ˆ ํ•œ ๋‹ฌ์— ํ•œ ๋ฒˆ์”ฉ ํšŒ์˜์—์„œ ์˜ˆ์‚ฐ์„ ์ถ”์ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
37:19
budget.
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.
37:20
I know that money fights are often the biggest problems in relationships.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ๋ˆ ์‹ธ์›€์ด ์ข…์ข… ๊ด€๊ณ„์—์„œ ๊ฐ€์žฅ ํฐ ๋ฌธ์ œ๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
37:25
Dan: You should talk about money.
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๋Œ„: ๋ˆ ์–˜๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ํ•ด์•ผ์ง€.
37:27
If you're married, you got to talk about money [inaudible 00:37:29].
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๊ฒฐํ˜ผํ–ˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด ๋ˆ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค [๋“ค๋ฆฌ์ง€ ์•Š์Œ 00:37:29].
37:30
Vanessa: Something that has been good for us is we have an Excel spreadsheet.
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Vanessa: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์—๊ฒŒ ์ข‹์€ ์ ์€ Excel ์Šคํ”„๋ ˆ๋“œ์‹œํŠธ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
37:35
This is quite detailed into our personal life, but we have an Excel spreadsheet and at the
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์˜ ๊ฐœ์ธ ์ƒํ™œ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋งค์šฐ ์ƒ์„ธ ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ Excel ์Šคํ”„๋ ˆ๋“œ์‹œํŠธ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๊ณ  ์›”๋ง์—
37:40
end of the month we look at our bank account.
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์€ํ–‰ ๊ณ„์ขŒ๋ฅผ ํ™•์ธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
37:43
"Okay, here's a grocery store purchase," and we put it in the Excel spreadsheet and we
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"์ข‹์•„์š”, ์‹๋ฃŒํ’ˆ์  ๊ตฌ๋งค์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค." ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  Excel ์Šคํ”„๋ ˆ๋“œ์‹œํŠธ์— ์ž…๋ ฅํ•˜๊ณ 
37:48
add up.
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ํ•ฉ์‚ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
37:49
We spent this much money for groceries.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์‹๋ฃŒํ’ˆ ๊ตฌ์ž…์— ์ด๋งŒํผ์˜ ๋ˆ์„ ์ผ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
37:52
We add up.
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ํ•ฉ์‚ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
37:53
We spent this much money for car gas.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ž๋™์ฐจ ๊ฐ€์Šค์— ์ด ๋งŽ์€ ๋ˆ์„ ์ผ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
37:57
When you can look at the numbers, it helps you together to see the facts.
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์ˆซ์ž๋ฅผ ๋ณผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„ ๋•Œ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์‚ฌ์‹ค์„ ํ™•์ธํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ ๋„์›€์ด ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
38:02
It's not me being upset because we spent too much money, Dan being upset because I bought
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๋ˆ์„ ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋งŽ์ด ์จ์„œ ํ™”๋‚œ ๊ฒŒ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋ญ”๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ์ƒ€๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— Dan์ด ํ™”๋‚œ ๊ฒŒ ์•„๋‹ˆ์•ผ
38:07
something.
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.
38:08
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
38:09
Vanessa: No, we just see the facts.
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Vanessa: ์•„๋‹ˆ์˜ค, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋‹จ์ง€ ์‚ฌ์‹ค์„ ๋ณผ ๋ฟ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
38:10
Dan: And this would be a situation where you can't blame or make excuses.
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๋Œ„: ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ด๊ฑด ๋น„๋‚œ๋„ ๋ณ€๋ช…๋„ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์—†๋Š” ์ƒํ™ฉ์ด๊ฒ ์ง€.
38:12
Vanessa: Yeah, because there's the facts.
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Vanessa: ์˜ˆ, ์‚ฌ์‹ค์ด ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
38:14
So, I feel like for me, I love to save money.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ €๋Š” ๋ˆ์„ ์ €์ถ•ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ข‹์•„ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
38:19
Dan does not spend very much money, but he doesn't-
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๋Œ„์€ ๋ˆ์„ ๋งŽ์ด ์“ฐ์ง€๋Š” ์•Š์ง€๋งŒ-
38:23
Dan: I spend more money than you.
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๋Œ„: ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋„ˆ๋ณด๋‹ค ๋ˆ์„ ๋” ๋งŽ์ด ์“ด๋‹ค.
38:24
Vanessa: He spends a little bit more than me.
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๋Š” ๋‚˜๋ณด๋‹ค ์กฐ๊ธˆ ๋” ์”๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
38:26
We're quite similar that we don't spend a lot of money.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋งŽ์€ ๋ˆ์„ ์“ฐ์ง€ ์•Š๋Š”๋‹ค๋Š” ์ ์—์„œ ๋งค์šฐ ๋น„์Šทํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
38:30
But for me, it feels so nice to see our money on a paper and to know, "Okay, we can ... " It
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์ €์—๊ฒŒ๋Š” ์ข…์ด์— ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๋ˆ์„ ๋ณด๊ณ  "์ข‹์•„, ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์–ด..."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๊ธฐ๋ถ„์ด ์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
38:37
gives me permission to ... We can go out to a restaurant.
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.
38:41
It's fine.
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๊ดœ์ฐฎ์•„.
38:42
It gives me permission to relax a little bit.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‚˜์—๊ฒŒ ์•ฝ๊ฐ„์˜ ํœด์‹์„ ํ—ˆ๋ฝํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
38:45
Or maybe for you, if your finances are tight, I talked about this in a recent YouTube video
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๋˜๋Š” ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์˜ ์žฌ์ •์ด ๋น ๋“ฏํ•˜๋‹ค๋ฉด ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์ตœ๊ทผ ๋ฌด๋ฃŒ ์˜์–ด ํ•™์Šต์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ YouTube ๋™์˜์ƒ์—์„œ ์ด์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•œ ๋ฐ” ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
38:50
about learning English for free, you can know, "Okay, maybe we need to not go out to a restaurant."
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"์ข‹์•„์š”, ์‹๋‹น์— ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์•Š์•„๋„ ๋  ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์•„์š”."
38:57
If one of you, your husband or your wife spends a lot of money, this is a good way to be clear
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๋‹น์‹ , ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๋‚จํŽธ ๋˜๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์•„๋‚ด ์ค‘ ํ•œ ๋ช…์ด ๋ˆ์„ ๋งŽ์ด ์“ด๋‹ค๋ฉด, ์ด๊ฒƒ์€
39:04
and honest in your relationship and look at your finances together.
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๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๊ด€๊ณ„์—์„œ ๋ช…ํ™•ํ•˜๊ณ  ์ •์งํ•˜๋ฉฐ ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์žฌ์ •์„ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ๋ณผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ์ข‹์€ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
39:07
I know that a lot of people don't do this and that when they do this, it gives so much
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๋‚˜๋Š” ๋งŽ์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ์ด๊ฒƒ์„ ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋Š”๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๊ณผ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ์ด๊ฒƒ์„ ํ•  ๋•Œ ๋งŽ์€
39:15
relaxation.
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ํœด์‹์„ ์ค€๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์••๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
39:16
It relieves so much stress because usually one person in your relationship feels more
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์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๊ด€๊ณ„์—์„œ ํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด
39:22
stress about money than the other person.
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋ณด๋‹ค ๋ˆ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์Šค๋ฅผ ๋Š๋ผ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋งŽ์€ ์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์Šค๋ฅผ ๋œ์–ด์ค๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
39:25
So, it's really nice to be on the same page.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๊ฐ™์€ ํŽ˜์ด์ง€์— ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ •๋ง ์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
39:29
This is a great expression.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ํ›Œ๋ฅญํ•œ ํ‘œํ˜„์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
39:30
You are on the same, like a piece of paper.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ข…์ด์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ๋˜‘๊ฐ™์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
39:34
On the same page.
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๊ฐ™์€ ํŽ˜์ด์ง€์—์„œ.
39:35
Dan: We're on the same page.
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Dan: ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฐ™์€ ํŽ˜์ด์ง€์— ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
39:36
Vanessa: Yes.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
39:37
Dan: We agree.
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๋Œ„: ๋™์˜ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
39:38
Vanessa: Yes.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
39:39
Dan: That's basically what it means.
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Dan: ๊ธฐ๋ณธ์ ์œผ๋กœ ๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ์˜๋ฏธํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ”์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
39:40
Vanessa: It just means you both agree.
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ๋‘ ๋ถ„ ๋ชจ๋‘ ๋™์˜ํ•˜์‹ ๋‹ค๋Š” ๋œป์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
39:41
I want to be on the same page with you, so let's check in with each other once a week.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์€ ํŽ˜์ด์ง€์— ์žˆ๊ณ  ์‹ถ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์ผ์ฃผ์ผ์— ํ•œ ๋ฒˆ ์„œ๋กœ ํ™•์ธํ•ฉ์‹œ๋‹ค.
39:46
Let's do some fun activity together.
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ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์žฌ๋ฏธ์žˆ๋Š” ํ™œ๋™์„ ํ•ด๋ด…์‹œ๋‹ค.
39:48
Let's go hiking together and try to have fun and relieve our stresses.
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ํ•จ๊ป˜ ํ•˜์ดํ‚น์„ ๊ฐ€๋ฉด์„œ ์ฆ๊ฒ๊ฒŒ ์ง€๋‚ด๊ณ  ์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์Šค๋ฅผ ํ’€์–ด๋ณด๋„๋ก ํ•ฉ์‹œ๋‹ค.
39:53
So, these are our general tips.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์˜ ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์ธ ํŒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
39:56
Dan: These are our tips.
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Dan: ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์˜ ํŒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
39:57
I would just say remember number one.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ๋‹จ์ง€ 1๋ฒˆ์„ ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•œ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
39:59
That's the most important.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด ๊ฐ€์žฅ ์ค‘์š”ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
40:00
Vanessa: Make sure you're a good fit.
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Vanessa: ์ž˜ ๋งž๋Š”์ง€ ํ™•์ธํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
40:01
Dan: Get in the relationship with the right person.
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๋Œ„: ์˜ฌ๋ฐ”๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๊ณผ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๋งบ์œผ์„ธ์š” .
40:03
Because let's say you want to talk about money.
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๋ˆ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๊ฐ€์ • ํ•ด ๋ด…์‹œ๋‹ค.
40:07
It's going to be very hard to talk about money with somebody who is irresponsible with money.
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๋ˆ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋ฌด์ฑ…์ž„ํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๊ณผ ๋ˆ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋งค์šฐ ์–ด๋ ค์šธ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
40:13
You have to make sure the person you're getting in a relationship with is already good money.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๋งบ๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ์ด๋ฏธ ์ข‹์€ ๋ˆ์„ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š”์ง€ ํ™•์ธํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
40:18
Otherwise, it's going to be- Vanessa: Quite difficult.
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๊ทธ๋ ‡์ง€ ์•Š์œผ๋ฉด, ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€- Vanessa: ์ƒ๋‹นํžˆ ์–ด๋ ต์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
40:20
Dan: ... even more challenging.
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Dan: ... ๋” ๋„์ „์ ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
40:21
Vanessa: Yes.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
40:22
Dan: But, that to say it's not impossible.
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๋Œ„: ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ, ๋ถˆ๊ฐ€๋Šฅํ•˜์ง€๋Š” ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
40:25
You might be in a relationship with somebody who's not good with money.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋ˆ์ด ์ข‹์ง€ ์•Š์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๊ณผ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๋งบ๊ณ  ์žˆ์„์ง€๋„ ๋ชจ๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
40:28
You can still work something out.
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์—ฌ์ „ํžˆ ๋ฌธ์ œ๋ฅผ ํ•ด๊ฒฐํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
40:30
Vanessa: I think that something for us, if we have ... Let's imagine, hypothetically,
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Vanessa: ์ œ ์ƒ๊ฐ์—๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์—๊ฒŒ ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋งŒ์•ฝ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€...๊ฐ€์ •์ ์œผ๋กœ,
40:36
that I'm really bad with money and Dan is really good with money.
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์ €๋Š” ๋ˆ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ •๋ง ์„œํˆด๊ณ  Dan์€ ๋ˆ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ •๋ง ์ข‹๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ƒ์ƒํ•ด ๋ด…์‹œ๋‹ค.
40:41
If Dan is really concerned about this, it's probably a problem anyway.
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Dan์ด ์ •๋ง๋กœ ์ด๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๊ฑฑ์ •ํ•œ๋‹ค๋ฉด ์–ด์จŒ๋“  ๋ฌธ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
40:45
But if Dan is concerned about it, he can't ... Maybe I'm looking at my phone.
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ Dan์ด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๊ฑฑ์ •ํ•œ๋‹ค๋ฉด ๊ทธ๋Š” ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค ... ์•„๋งˆ๋„ ๋‚˜๋Š” ๋‚ด ์ „ํ™”๋ฅผ๋ณด๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
40:52
He can't say to me all of a sudden, "Hey!
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๊ทธ๋Š” ๋‚˜์—๊ฒŒ ๊ฐ‘์ž๊ธฐ "์ด๋ด!
40:54
Why did we have this purchase?
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์™œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์ด ๋ฌผ๊ฑด์„ ์ƒ€์–ด?
40:56
What are you doing?"
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๋ญํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฑฐ์•ผ?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜๋Š” ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
40:57
I'm not in the right mindset to discuss this.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ์ด๊ฒƒ์„ ๋…ผ์˜ํ•  ์˜ฌ๋ฐ”๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๊ณ ๋ฐฉ์‹์ด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
41:01
So, I feel like something that's worked for us when there's a problem that's really important
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ €๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์ค‘ ํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์—๊ฒŒ ์ •๋ง ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ๋ฌธ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์„ ๋•Œ
41:06
to one of us, saying, "Hey, when you have a moment, can we talk about something really
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" ์ž ์‹œ๋งŒ ์žˆ์œผ๋ฉด ์ •๋ง ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„๊นŒ์š”?"
41:12
important," or, "I saw this purchase here and it's really important to me that we talk
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๋˜๋Š” "์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ ๊ตฌ์ž…ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ดค์–ด์š”. ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋‚˜์—๊ฒŒ ์ •๋ง ์ค‘์š”ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
41:18
about it."
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."
41:19
Be serious.
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์ง„์ง€ํ•ด.
41:21
It's important to you, so don't just have ... Make sure you have emotional regulation.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ์ค‘์š”ํ•˜๋ฏ€๋กœ ๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ๊ฐ€์ง€์ง€ ๋งˆ์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค . ๊ฐ์ • ์กฐ์ ˆ์ด ์žˆ๋Š”์ง€ ํ™•์ธํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
41:26
Don't just explode about it, but say, "Hey, this is really important.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ํญ๋ฐœํ•˜์ง€ ๋ง๊ณ  "์ด๋ด, ์ด๊ฑด ์ •๋ง ์ค‘์š”ํ•ด.
41:30
Can we talk about?"
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์–˜๊ธฐํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„๊นŒ?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
41:31
And look at each other's eyes.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์„œ๋กœ์˜ ๋ˆˆ์„ ๋ฐ”๋ผ๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
41:35
Look at each other and say, "Hey, this is really important to me.
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์„œ๋กœ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๋ผ๋ณด๋ฉฐ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•˜์„ธ์š”. "์ด๋ด, ์ด๊ฑด ๋‚˜์—๊ฒŒ ์ •๋ง ์ค‘์š”ํ•ด.
41:38
Can we please go through our finances?
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์žฌ์ •์„ ์ข€ ์‚ดํŽด๋ด๋„ ๋ ๊นŒ?
41:40
Let's go through our bank account and make a list and see how much we're spending.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์€ํ–‰ ๊ณ„์ขŒ๋ฅผ ์‚ดํŽด๋ณด๊ณ  ๋ชฉ๋ก์„ ๋งŒ๋“ค์–ด ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์ง€์ถœํ•˜๋Š” ๊ธˆ์•ก์„ ๋ณด์ž.
41:45
This would really be important to me."
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์—๊ฒŒ ์ •๋ง ์ค‘์š”ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ด๋‹ค. ๋‚˜."
41:47
Try to appeal to their care for you.
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๋‹น์‹ ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๊ทธ๋“ค์˜ ๋ณด์‚ดํ•Œ์— ํ˜ธ์†Œํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
41:50
Dan cares for me.
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Dan์€ ๋‚˜๋ฅผ ๋Œ๋ด์ค๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
41:51
I care for him.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ๊ทธ๋ฅผ ๋Œ๋ณธ๋‹ค.
41:52
So if he says, "This is so important to me.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๊ทธ๊ฐ€ "์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‚˜์—๊ฒŒ ๋งค์šฐ ์ค‘์š”ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
41:54
Let's please talk about it," of course.
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์ œ๋ฐœ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•ฉ์‹œ๋‹ค"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•œ๋‹ค๋ฉด ๋ฌผ๋ก ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
41:57
I want to Dan to be not stressed.
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๋Œ„์ด ์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์Šค ๋ฐ›์ง€ ์•Š์•˜์œผ๋ฉด ์ข‹๊ฒ ์–ด์š”.
42:01
So when you take the time to talk about something important like that, it means so much more.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์‹œ๊ฐ„์„ ๋‚ด์–ด ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•  ๋•Œ , ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ํ›จ์”ฌ ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ๊ฒƒ์„ ์˜๋ฏธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
42:07
If you just said, "Hey, what are you doing?" and then I'm doing something else, it's just
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"์ด๋ด, ๋ญํ•˜๋Š”๊ฑฐ์•ผ?" ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋‹ค์Œ ๋‚˜๋Š” ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์ผ์„ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
42:13
going to create an argument because my mind is not there.
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๋‚ด ๋งˆ์Œ์ด ๊ฑฐ๊ธฐ์— ์—†๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹จ์ง€ ๋…ผ์Ÿ์„ ๋งŒ๋“ค ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
42:16
Dan's emotional regulation is everywhere.
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Dan์˜ ๊ฐ์ • ์กฐ์ ˆ์€ ์–ด๋””์—๋‚˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
42:19
So, talking a moment, "Can we really talk about this?
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ž ์‹œ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๋‚˜๋ˆ„์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "์ •๋ง ์ด๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„๊นŒ์š” ?
42:22
This is so important to me."
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์ €์—๊ฒŒ ๋งค์šฐ ์ค‘์š”ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."
42:23
Dan: Yeah, or, "Can we talk about this later?"
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Dan: ์˜ˆ, ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ฉด "๋‚˜์ค‘์— ์–˜๊ธฐํ•ด๋„ ๋ ๊นŒ์š”?"
42:25
Vanessa: Yeah, yeah.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ์˜ˆ, ์˜ˆ.
42:26
That's really- Dan: That [inaudible 00:42:26] that can help,
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๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ์ •๋ง- ๋Œ„: ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ๋„ [๋“ค๋ฆฌ์ง€ ์•Š์Œ 00:42:26] ๋„์›€์ด ๋  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
42:27
too.
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.
42:28
You don't want to talk.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
42:29
You want to bring up stuff in the moment all of the sudden.
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๊ฐ‘์ž๊ธฐ ๊ทธ ์ˆœ๊ฐ„์— ๋ฌผ๊ฑด์„ ๊บผ๋‚ด๊ณ  ์‹ถ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
42:31
That really helps.
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์ •๋ง ๋„์›€์ด ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
42:32
Somebody said they're confused about which number we're on.
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์–ด๋–ค ๋ฒˆํ˜ธ์ธ์ง€ ํ—ท๊ฐˆ๋ฆฐ๋‹ค๊ณ  ํ•˜๋”๊ตฐ์š” .
42:35
I don't think we've been organized.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์กฐ์ง๋˜์ง€ ์•Š์•˜๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
42:37
Sorry, everybody.
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์ฃ„์†กํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค, ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„.
42:38
Vanessa: Dan wrote three tips.
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Vanessa: Dan์€ ์„ธ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ํŒ์„ ์ผ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
42:40
I wrote two tips.
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๋‘ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ํŒ์„ ์ผ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
42:41
So, we had one tip, one tip, one tip, one tip, one tip, one tip, one tip.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ํ•˜๋‚˜์˜ ํŒ, ํ•˜๋‚˜์˜ ํŒ, ํ•˜๋‚˜์˜ ํŒ, ํ•˜๋‚˜์˜ ํŒ, ํ•˜๋‚˜์˜ ํŒ, ํ•˜๋‚˜์˜ ํŒ, ํ•˜๋‚˜์˜ ํŒ์„ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
42:45
So, Dan has three.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ Dan์€ 3๊ฐœ๋ฅผ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
42:46
I know we said we have five tips.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๋‹ค์„ฏ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ํŒ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์„ ์••๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
42:48
There's five total.
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์ด 5๊ฐœ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
42:49
Dan: But, we've been adding a lot of stuff, so ...
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Dan: ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋งŽ์€ ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ถ”๊ฐ€ํ•ด์™”๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์—...
42:51
Vanessa: Yes.
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Vanessa: ์˜ˆ.
42:52
We're talking about now the conclusion.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ง€๊ธˆ ๊ฒฐ๋ก ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
42:55
So, the reason why I wanted to talk about this kind of unusual topic today, giving just
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์˜ค๋Š˜ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ์ด์ƒ‰์ ์ธ ์ฃผ์ œ๋กœ
43:00
our personal relationship advice, is for two reasons.
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๊ฐœ์ธ์ ์ธ ์—ฐ์•  ์กฐ์–ธ์„ ๋“œ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์—ˆ๋˜ ์ด์œ ๋Š” ๋‘ ๊ฐ€์ง€์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
43:04
Number one, Valentine's Day is coming quite soon, so you might be preparing for your relationship,
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์ฒซ์งธ, ๋ฐธ๋Ÿฐํƒ€์ธ๋ฐ์ด๊ฐ€ ๊ณง ๋‹ค๊ฐ€์˜ค๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์€ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ์ค€๋น„ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์„์ง€๋„ ๋ชจ๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
43:13
something for your relationship, maybe thinking about relationships a little bit more.
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๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ์œ„ํ•œ ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€, ๊ด€๊ณ„์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์กฐ๊ธˆ ๋” ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์„์ง€๋„ ๋ชจ๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
43:16
Valentine's Day is coming up in February.
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2์›” ๋ฐœ๋ Œํƒ€์ธ๋ฐ์ด๊ฐ€ ๋‹ค๊ฐ€์˜ค๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
43:19
And number two is in our monthly English course, the Fearless Fluency Club, we have a special
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๋‘ ๋ฒˆ์งธ๋Š” ์›”๊ฐ„ ์˜์–ด ์ฝ”์Šค์ธ Fearless Fluency Club์— ์žˆ์œผ๋ฉฐ
43:27
set in February.
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2์›”์—๋Š” ํŠน๋ณ„ ์„ธํŠธ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
43:31
This is where I interview a therapist.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์น˜๋ฃŒ์‚ฌ์™€ ์ธํ„ฐ๋ทฐํ•˜๋Š” ๊ณณ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
43:35
Dan: Ooh.
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๋Œ„: ์˜ค.
43:36
Vanessa: She's not a relationship therapist.
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Vanessa: ๊ทธ๋…€๋Š” ๊ด€๊ณ„ ์น˜๋ฃŒ์‚ฌ๊ฐ€ ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
43:38
She is an eating disorder therapist.
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๊ทธ๋…€๋Š” ์„ญ์‹ ์žฅ์•  ์น˜๋ฃŒ์‚ฌ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
43:41
Dan: Very different.
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๋Œ„: ๋งค์šฐ ๋‹ค๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
43:42
Vanessa: But, she is a therapist and she deals with people who are coming to her with problems.
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Vanessa: ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ๋…€๋Š” ์น˜๋ฃŒ์‚ฌ์ด๊ณ  ๋ฌธ์ œ๋ฅผ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋…€์—๊ฒŒ ์˜ค๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์„ ๋‹ค๋ฃน๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
43:46
So, I kind of wanted to imitate that a little bit.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์กฐ๊ธˆ ๋‹ฎ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์—ˆ์–ด์š” .
43:50
So, what I'd like to do now is I would like to share my screen with you to show you if
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์ง€๊ธˆ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ œ ํ™”๋ฉด์„ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„๊ณผ ๊ณต์œ ํ•˜์—ฌ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด
43:56
you would like to continue to learn with us, if you would like to continue this idea of
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์ €ํฌ์™€ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ๊ณ„์† ๋ฐฐ์šฐ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€์ง€,
44:00
deepening your English through real English conversations-
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์‹ค์ œ ์˜์–ด ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ํ†ตํ•ด ์˜์–ด๋ฅผ ์‹ฌํ™”์‹œํ‚ค๋Š” ์ด ์ƒ๊ฐ์„ ๊ณ„์†ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€์ง€ ๋ณด์—ฌ๋“œ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. -
44:03
Dan: Yes, and in a more organized fashion.
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Dan: ๋„ค, ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ข€ ๋” ์ฒด๊ณ„์ ์œผ๋กœ์š”.
44:05
This is more a causal conversation- Vanessa: This is a casual chitchat.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์ธ๊ณผ ๊ด€๊ณ„์— ๊ฐ€๊น์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. Vanessa: ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์ผ์ƒ์ ์ธ ์žก๋‹ด์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
44:08
Dan: ... we're having with you today.
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๋Œ„: ... ์˜ค๋Š˜์€ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„๊ณผ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ํ•˜๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
44:09
Vanessa: Yes.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
44:10
So, I would like to share my screen with you to show you.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ œ ํ™”๋ฉด์„ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„๊ป˜ ๋ณด์—ฌ๋“œ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ์ž ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
44:13
Let's take a look here.
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์—ฌ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์‚ดํŽด๋ณด๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
44:15
You can see this is our Fearless Fluency Club page where you can click the link in the description
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์„ค๋ช…์— ์žˆ๋Š” ๋งํฌ๋ฅผ ํด๋ฆญํ•˜๊ณ 
44:21
and join our course.
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์ฝ”์Šค์— ์ฐธ์—ฌํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” Fearless Fluency Club ํŽ˜์ด์ง€์ž„์„ ์•Œ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์—์„œ ๊ฐ ์ˆ˜์—…
44:23
You can find out much more information about each of the lessons here.
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์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ์ •๋ณด๋ฅผ ํ™•์ธํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
44:27
But what I'd like to do is give you a little sneak preview into the February lesson set.
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ๊ฒƒ์€ 2์›” ๊ฐ•์˜ ์„ธํŠธ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์‚ด์ง ๋ฏธ๋ฆฌ ๋ณด๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์ œ๊ณตํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
44:35
Here you can see February 2019.
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์—ฌ๊ธฐ์—์„œ 2019๋…„ 2์›”์„ ๋ณผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
44:39
We have each month there is a special ... This is a course guide in general for how to use
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋งค๋‹ฌ ํŠน๋ณ„ํ•œ... ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์ฝ”์Šค ์‚ฌ์šฉ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์ธ ์ฝ”์Šค ๊ฐ€์ด๋“œ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
44:46
the course.
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.
44:47
This is a monthly lesson set guide.
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์›”๊ฐ„ ๋ ˆ์Šจ ์„ธํŠธ ์•ˆ๋‚ด์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
44:51
We're going to be talking about therapy with Elaine.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” Elaine๊ณผ์˜ ์น˜๋ฃŒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
44:54
Elaine is a professional counselor or therapist.
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Elaine์€ ์ „๋ฌธ ์ƒ๋‹ด์‚ฌ ๋˜๋Š” ์น˜๋ฃŒ์‚ฌ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
44:59
In this lesson set, we talk about a lot of vocabulary that she used in our conversation.
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์ด ์ˆ˜์—…์—์„œ๋Š” ๊ทธ๋…€๊ฐ€ ๋Œ€ํ™”์—์„œ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•œ ๋งŽ์€ ์–ดํœ˜์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
45:05
Dan: Hey look.
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๋Œ„: ์—ฌ๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
45:06
There's blame.
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์ฑ…์ž„์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
45:07
Vanessa: Oh, we talked about blame.
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Vanessa: ์˜ค, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋น„๋‚œ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
45:08
Wonderful.
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์•„์ฃผ ๋ฉ‹์ง„.
45:09
Oh, you're already ahead of the game.
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์˜ค, ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ด๋ฏธ ๊ฒŒ์ž„๋ณด๋‹ค ์•ž์„œ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
45:11
Then, we talk about grammar.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋‹ค์Œ ๋ฌธ๋ฒ•์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
45:14
Oh, we're going to be talking about really, so, too, these kind of intensifiers, at all.
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์˜ค, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ด๋Ÿฐ ์ข…๋ฅ˜์˜ ๊ฐ•ํ™”์ œ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ •๋ง๋กœ, ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ, ์ „ํ˜€ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
45:20
I noticed we used at all in our conversation, actually.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ๋Œ€ํ™”์—์„œ ์ „ํ˜€ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋Š”๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ์•˜์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
45:23
Then, we talk about some specific pronunciation.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋‹ค์Œ ํŠน์ • ๋ฐœ์Œ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
45:25
So, let's take a look.
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์ž, ํ•œ๋ฒˆ ์‚ดํŽด๋ด…์‹œ๋‹ค.
45:27
Here you can see the vocabulary lesson with Dan and I.
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์—ฌ๊ธฐ์—์„œ Dan๊ณผ I์˜ ์–ดํœ˜ ์ˆ˜์—…์„ ๋ณผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
45:31
There's two parts to this vocabulary lesson.
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์ด ์–ดํœ˜ ์ˆ˜์—…์—๋Š” ๋‘ ๋ถ€๋ถ„์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
45:34
The grammar lesson where I explain these important expressions for intensifying your conversation.
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๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๊ฐ•ํ™”ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ํ‘œํ˜„์„ ์„ค๋ช…ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฌธ๋ฒ• ์ˆ˜์—….
45:41
There's an MP3.
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MP3๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
45:42
You can download it.
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๋‹ค์šด๋กœ๋“œํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
45:44
Also, the transcript of the full lesson so that you can follow word for word.
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๋˜ํ•œ, ํ•œ ๋‹จ์–ด ํ•œ ๋‹จ์–ด ๋”ฐ๋ผ๊ฐˆ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋„๋ก ์ „์ฒด ์ˆ˜์—…์˜ ๋Œ€๋ณธ์„ ์ œ๊ณตํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
45:49
This is helpful for everyone, but it's especially helpful if you are maybe a high beginning,
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ชจ๋“  ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์—๊ฒŒ ๋„์›€์ด ๋˜์ง€๋งŒ, ๋ชจ๋“  ๋‹จ์–ด ํ•˜๋‚˜ํ•˜๋‚˜๋ฅผ ํŒŒ์•…ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ข‹๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์ดˆ์‹ฌ์ž๊ฐ€ ๋†’๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์ค‘๊ธ‰์ž๊ฐ€ ๋‚ฎ์€ ๊ฒฝ์šฐ ํŠนํžˆ ์œ ์šฉํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
45:56
low intermediate, because it's good to catch every single word.
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.
46:00
Then, we have the pronunciation lesson so you can learn some specific pronunciation
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋‹ค์Œ ๋ฐœ์Œ ๋ ˆ์Šจ์„ ํ†ตํ•ด ํŠน์ • ๋ฐœ์Œ ํŒ์„ ๋ฐฐ์šธ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
46:05
tips.
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.
46:06
If you have watched any of my pronunciation lessons here on YouTube, this lesson is quite
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์—ฌ๊ธฐ YouTube์—์„œ ์ œ ๋ฐœ์Œ ๋ ˆ์Šจ์„ ๋ณธ ์ ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด ์ด ๋ ˆ์Šจ์€ ๋งค์šฐ
46:09
similar.
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๋น„์Šทํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
46:10
We shadow, and repeat, and practice individual sounds.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฐ๊ฐ์˜ ์†Œ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ๋”ฐ๋ผํ•˜๊ณ  ๋ฐ˜๋ณตํ•˜๊ณ  ์—ฐ์Šตํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
46:14
Then, we have the special conversation with my friend Elaine, who is an eating disorder
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋‹ค์Œ ์„ญ์‹ ์žฅ์•  ์น˜๋ฃŒ์‚ฌ์ธ ์ œ ์นœ๊ตฌ Elaine๊ณผ ํŠน๋ณ„ํ•œ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚˜๋ˆ•๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
46:20
therapist.
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.
46:21
She talks about going to therapy, this process of helping people with something that's really
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๊ทธ๋…€๋Š” ์น˜๋ฃŒ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ›๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ด ๊ณผ์ •์€ ์ •๋ง
46:28
personal, really personal, and sharing that with a stranger and how she helps people,
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์‚ฌ์ ์ด๊ณ  ์ •๋ง ๊ฐœ์ธ์ ์ธ ์ผ๋กœ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์„ ๋•๊ณ  ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋‚ฏ์„  ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๊ณผ ๊ณต์œ ํ•˜๋ฉฐ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์„ ๋•๋Š”์ง€,
46:33
especially she helps young people in her field.
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ํŠนํžˆ ๊ทธ๋…€๋Š” ์ž์‹ ์˜ ๋ถ„์•ผ์—์„œ ์ Š์€์ด๋“ค์„ ๋•์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
46:37
But, she goes through this and talks about it in detail.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ ๊ทธ๋…€๋Š” ์ด๊ฒƒ์„ ํ›‘์–ด๋ณด๊ณ  ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ž์„ธํžˆ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ๊ทธ๋…€์˜ ์ง์—…์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ
46:40
It's quite interesting to see the insight into her job.
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ํ†ต์ฐฐ๋ ฅ์„ ๋ณด๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋งค์šฐ ํฅ๋ฏธ ๋กญ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
46:44
Then, in the course, we have the story.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋‹ค์Œ ๊ณผ์ •์—์„œ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
46:47
The story is a unique thing here.
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์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๋Š” ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ ๋…ํŠนํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
46:49
We have different audio recordings of the story.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ์˜ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์˜ค๋””์˜ค ๋…น์Œ์„ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
46:52
This is a combination of all the vocabulary, grammar, pronunciation, plus some extra vocabulary
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ชจ๋“  ์–ดํœ˜, ๋ฌธ๋ฒ•, ๋ฐœ์Œ ๋ฐ
47:00
from the full lesson set.
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์ „์ฒด ๋ ˆ์Šจ ์„ธํŠธ์˜ ์ผ๋ถ€ ์ถ”๊ฐ€ ์–ดํœ˜์˜ ์กฐํ•ฉ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
47:02
This is about going to therapy.
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์น˜๋ฃŒ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ›์œผ๋Ÿฌ ๊ฐ€๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
47:05
It's kind of a fiction story.
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์ผ์ข…์˜ ์†Œ์„ค ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
47:07
But, you can use and see all of the vocabulary in a different context.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋งฅ๋ฝ์—์„œ ๋ชจ๋“  ์–ดํœ˜๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๊ณ  ๋ณผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
47:13
So, I hope that this will help to just add to your knowledge of the vocabulary and grammar
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ์–ดํœ˜์™€ ๋ฌธ๋ฒ•์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์ง€์‹์„ ์ถ”๊ฐ€ํ•˜๊ณ 
47:18
and see it in a different context.
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋งฅ๋ฝ์—์„œ ๋ณด๋Š” ๋ฐ ๋„์›€์ด ๋˜๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๋ž๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
47:21
There are questions so you can practice answering questions.
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์งˆ๋ฌธ์ด ์žˆ์–ด ์งˆ๋ฌธ์— ๋‹ตํ•˜๋Š” ์—ฐ์Šต์„ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
47:24
It's kind of a controlled speaking practice and also different verb tenses so that you
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์ผ์ข…์˜ ์ œ์–ด๋œ ๋งํ•˜๊ธฐ ์—ฐ์Šต ๊ณผ ๋‹ค์–‘ํ•œ ๋™์‚ฌ ์‹œ์ œ๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์—ฌ
47:29
can practice different verb tenses.
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๋‹ค์–‘ํ•œ ๋™์‚ฌ ์‹œ์ œ๋ฅผ ์—ฐ์Šตํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
47:31
All right, I'm going to bring back our video here.
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์•Œ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋™์˜์ƒ์„ ๋‹ค์‹œ ๊ฐ€์ ธ์˜ค๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
47:35
So if you would like to join us monthly in the Fearless Fluency Club and to practice
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ๋งค์›” Fearless Fluency Club์— ์ฐธ์—ฌํ•˜๊ณ 
47:40
these conversations together with us, you are welcome to join the Fearless Fluency Club
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์ด๋Ÿฌํ•œ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์—ฐ์Šตํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ๋‹ค๋ฉด
47:48
now in January or in February.
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์ง€๊ธˆ 1์›” ๋˜๋Š” 2์›”์— Fearless Fluency Club์— ๊ฐ€์ž…ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
47:52
If you join in January, you'll get the January lesson set immediately.
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1์›”์— ๊ฐ€์ž…ํ•˜์‹œ๋ฉด 1์›” ๋ ˆ์Šจ ์„ธํŠธ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๋กœ ๋ฐ›์œผ์‹ค ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
47:56
Then, in the month of February, February 1st, you'll get access to this special lesson set
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋‹ค์Œ 2์›” 2์›” 1์ผ์— Elaine๊ณผ ํ•จ๊ป˜ํ•˜๋Š” ์ด ํŠน๋ณ„ ๋ ˆ์Šจ ์„ธํŠธ์— ์•ก์„ธ์Šคํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
48:01
with Elaine.
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.
48:02
It is $35 per month, but please use the coupon code new.
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์›” $35์ธ๋ฐ ์ฟ ํฐ ์ฝ”๋“œ new๋ฅผ ์ด์šฉํ•ด์ฃผ์„ธ์š”.
48:09
If you use the coupon code new, N-E-W, you only get it for $5.
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์ฟ ํฐ ์ฝ”๋“œ new, N-E-W๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๋ฉด $5์— ๋ฐ›์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
48:14
Dan: $5.
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๋Œ„: 5๋‹ฌ๋Ÿฌ.
48:15
Vanessa: You have a $30 discount, which is great for the first month.
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Vanessa: ๋‹น์‹ ์€ 30๋‹ฌ๋Ÿฌ ํ• ์ธ์„ ๋ฐ›์•˜๋Š”๋ฐ, ์ฒซ ๋‹ฌ์— ์•„์ฃผ ์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
48:19
Try the course.
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๊ณผ์ •์„ ์‹œ๋„ํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
48:20
You pay $5.
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5๋‹ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ฅผ ์ง€๋ถˆํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
48:21
If you don't like it, cancel.
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๋งˆ์Œ์— ๋“ค์ง€ ์•Š์œผ๋ฉด ์ทจ์†Œํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
48:22
If it's a good fit for you, you can continue in the course and your English will grow day
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ์ž˜ ๋งž๋Š”๋‹ค๋ฉด, ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ณผ์ •์„ ๊ณ„์†ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์˜์–ด๋Š” ๋‚ ๋งˆ๋‹ค ์„ฑ์žฅํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
48:27
by day.
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.
48:28
You're welcome to join us.
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๊ฐ€์ž…์„ ํ™˜์˜ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
48:30
Many members speak together on Skype and Google Hangouts weekly, daily.
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๋งŽ์€ ํšŒ์›๋“ค์ด Skype์™€ Google Hangouts์—์„œ ๋งค์ฃผ, ๋งค์ผ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
48:34
They practice speaking together.
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๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ๋งํ•˜๊ธฐ ์—ฐ์Šต์„ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
48:36
This is a great way to meet friends from around the world.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์ „ ์„ธ๊ณ„์—์„œ ์˜จ ์นœ๊ตฌ๋“ค์„ ๋งŒ๋‚  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ์ข‹์€ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
48:38
Dan: Yes.
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๋Œ„: ๋„ค.
48:39
Vanessa: Also, you're not paying for expensive Skype lessons.
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Vanessa: ๋˜ํ•œ ๋น„์‹ผ Skype ๋ ˆ์Šจ ๋น„์šฉ์„ ์ง€๋ถˆํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
48:42
Instead, you're speaking with other people who are also learning, who are like you.
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๋Œ€์‹ ์—, ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋ฐฐ์šฐ๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์€ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๊ณผ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
48:46
Dan: It's a community.
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๋Œ„: ์ปค๋ฎค๋‹ˆํ‹ฐ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
48:47
Vanessa: Yes, so you can feel comfortable speaking with them.
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Vanessa: ๋„ค, ๊ทธ๋ž˜์•ผ ํŽธ์•ˆํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋Œ€ํ™”ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
48:49
And at the end of each month, we have a group Google Hangout with me so you'll be able to
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋งค๋‹ฌ ๋ง์— ์ €์™€ ๊ทธ๋ฃน Google ํ–‰์•„์›ƒ์ด ์žˆ์–ด์„œ
48:53
chat with me in this group Google Hangout.
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์ด ๊ทธ๋ฃน Google ํ–‰์•„์›ƒ์—์„œ ์ €์™€ ์ฑ„ํŒ…ํ•˜์‹ค ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
48:56
It's super fun.
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์ •๋ง ์žฌ๋ฏธ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
48:57
We have a good time together and you get just a chance to meet each other and also meet
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์ข‹์€ ์‹œ๊ฐ„์„ ๋ณด๋‚ด๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์„œ๋กœ๋ฅผ ๋งŒ๋‚  ๊ธฐํšŒ๋ฅผ ์–ป์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋˜ํ•œ
49:01
me and practice speaking a bit.
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์ €๋ฅผ ๋งŒ๋‚˜๊ณ  ์•ฝ๊ฐ„์˜ ๋งํ•˜๊ธฐ ์—ฐ์Šต์„ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
49:03
But, thank you so much for joining me.
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ, ์ €์™€ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ํ•ด์ฃผ์…”์„œ ์ •๋ง ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
49:05
I want to know in the comments, what is your number one relationship tips?
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๋‚˜๋Š” ์˜๊ฒฌ์—์„œ ์•Œ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์ตœ๊ณ ์˜ ๊ด€๊ณ„ ํŒ์€ ๋ฌด์—‡์ž…๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
49:09
Dan: Yeah, share your tips.
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Dan: ๋„ค, ํŒ์„ ๊ณต์œ ํ•ด์ฃผ์„ธ์š”.
49:10
Vanessa: Yes.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
49:11
Dan: Tell us.
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๋Œ„: ๋งํ•ด๋ด.
49:12
Vanessa: Yes.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค.
49:13
Dan: How can we have a better relationship?
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๋Œ„: ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋ฉด ๋” ์ข‹์€ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๊ฐ€์งˆ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„๊นŒ์š”?
49:14
Vanessa: Yes, of course.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ๋„ค, ๋ฌผ๋ก ์ด์ฃ .
49:15
We are always open to expanding, and growing, and strengthening our relationship, but also
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ํ™•์žฅํ•˜๊ณ , ์„ฑ์žฅํ•˜๊ณ , ๊ฐ•ํ™”ํ•  ๋ฟ๋งŒ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ
49:19
for other people.
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์„ ์œ„ํ•ด์„œ๋„ ํ•ญ์ƒ ์—ด๋ ค ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
49:20
It's interesting to see what worked for you, maybe what didn't work for you.
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์–ด๋–ค ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ํšจ๊ณผ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์—ˆ๋Š”์ง€, ์–ด๋–ค ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ํšจ๊ณผ๊ฐ€ ์—†์—ˆ๋Š”์ง€ ๋ณด๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ํฅ๋ฏธ๋กœ์šธ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
49:24
Give us some things not to do.
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ํ•˜์ง€ ๋ง์•„์•ผ ํ•  ์ผ์„ ์•Œ๋ ค์ฃผ์„ธ์š”.
49:26
So, I hope that this lesson has been useful to you and we'll see you again next Friday
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์ด ์ˆ˜์—…์ด ๋„์›€์ด ๋˜์—ˆ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๋ผ๋ฉฐ ๋‹ค์Œ ์ฃผ ๊ธˆ์š”์ผ์—
49:31
for a new lesson here on my YouTube channel.
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์ œ YouTube ์ฑ„๋„์—์„œ ์ƒˆ๋กœ์šด ์ˆ˜์—…์œผ๋กœ ๋‹ค์‹œ ๋ต™๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
49:34
I'll see you again the next time.
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๋‹ค์Œ์— ๋˜ ๋ต™๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
49:36
Dan: Bye, everybody.
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๋Œ„: ์•ˆ๋…•, ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„.
49:37
Vanessa: Bye.
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๋ฐ”๋„ค์‚ฌ: ์•ˆ๋…•.
์ด ์›น์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ ์ •๋ณด

์ด ์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ๋Š” ์˜์–ด ํ•™์Šต์— ์œ ์šฉํ•œ YouTube ๋™์˜์ƒ์„ ์†Œ๊ฐœํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ „ ์„ธ๊ณ„ ์ตœ๊ณ ์˜ ์„ ์ƒ๋‹˜๋“ค์ด ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์น˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ˆ˜์—…์„ ๋ณด๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ฐ ๋™์˜์ƒ ํŽ˜์ด์ง€์— ํ‘œ์‹œ๋˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ” ํด๋ฆญํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ณณ์—์„œ ๋™์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋น„๋””์˜ค ์žฌ์ƒ์— ๋งž์ถฐ ์ž๋ง‰์ด ์Šคํฌ๋กค๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜๊ฒฌ์ด๋‚˜ ์š”์ฒญ์ด ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒฝ์šฐ ์ด ๋ฌธ์˜ ์–‘์‹์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์—ฌ ๋ฌธ์˜ํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.

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