Advanced English Conversation Lesson

Vanessa: Hello, hello.

Welcome to today's live English lesson here on the Speak English With Vanessa YouTube

channel.

Thank you so much for joining me.

I'm here with my husband, Dan.

Dan: Hello.

Vanessa: And we're going to having a natural conversation about emotions today, so I hope

that you'll learn some new words.

If we use any new expressions we're going to explain them as we go.

It's going to be pretty spontaneous.

We have a couple questions to talk about, but it's not so planned, so I hope that your

listening skills will be tested and you'll just have a good time.

If you enjoy this live lesson with us together having a conversation, talking about vocabulary,

we do this every month in the Fearless Fluency Club.

Dan helps me to explain the monthly vocabulary expressions.

So you can join the Fearless Fluency Club for $5 for the first month with the coupon

code NEW and there's a link in the description.

So thank you everyone who is here to join to talk with me live.

I'm glad that you're joining from all around the world, we can see friends from Brazil,

from Poland, from France, from Indonesia.

Thank you so much for joining me.

I'd like to start with a question for Dan.

Dan: We're going to talk about being emotional.

Vanessa: Yes, having emotions, because everyone has emotions.

Dan: I don't know.

Vanessa: We'll see, we'll see.

I thought we'd start with positive emotion question.

I want to know what something that makes you feel excited.

Dan: Excited?

Vanessa: Yes, yes.

Dan: Well, the first thing that came to my mind was food.

Vanessa: I agree.

Dan: I mean, food is so exciting.

If you're really hungry and you see a hamburger in front of you, you get really, really excited.

Vanessa: I want to know, do you get excited by food?

So in this sentence that Dan just said, he said, "I get excited by" something.

"I get excited by food."

Or, "I get excited when I see food."

So what about for you, can you make a sentence using this sentence structure?

For me, I get excited when I smell delicious food.

Dan: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Vanessa: It's really exciting for me.

In fact, a couple days ago I was cleaning out my closet and I found an old journal that

I wrote when I was seven years old.

Dan: Did you write a poem to food?

Vanessa: I wrote a lot about food.

I think every- Dan: Dear pizza, I love you with all my heart.

Vanessa: It was almost like that.

I wrote about apples, I wrote about ice cream, I wrote about lots of food because as a kid,

I don't know, it's exciting, right?

Dan: You know, when I was looking at your journals I remember you were very excited

about boys.

Vanessa: Oh.

Dan: She had her little boyfriends.

They weren't really boyfriends, she was viewing them from afar.

Vanessa: Just from afar, just from afar. Dan: Yes.

She would say, one journal said, "And you were looking at you know who."

Vanessa: Oh.

Dan: I don't know who that was.

Vanessa: So can you explain what "you know who" means?

We're getting to another question here, which is about embarrassment.

I feel embarrassed.

Dan: Yeah.

But "you know who" just means you don't want to say who it is, so it's a secret.

Its kind of like in Harry Potter, have you ever read Harry Potter where the book says,

"He who shall not be named?"

Vanessa: Oh, so in Harry Potter- Dan: But it's kind of the opposite of that,

it's not a bad guy.

Vanessa: It's not a bad guy, but it's someone who's secret, you're trying to not say their

name.

So in Harry Potter, Voldemort, you're not supposed to say his name, so they might say,

"Oh, I see you know who."

And that just means you don't want to say his name.

So you could say this for someone you're talking about but you don't really want to say their

name specifically.

And just to let you know, any vocabulary words that we discuss and talk about, after this

live lesson is finished I'm going to write them in the description below this live lesson

so that you can go down and check them, see the sentence that we used, and kind of get

a better picture for them, because I know we're going to be talking fast, and talking

about a lot of things.

So I hope that that will be useful to you.

Alright, so let's get started with a more serious question.

I want to know, what's something that annoys you.

Dan: Serious.

Vanessa: Yeah.

Dan: Something that annoys me?

Vanessa: Yeah.

Dan: That seriously annoys me?

Vanessa: Oh it could be something that's kind of silly that annoys you, but it's not so

happy, it's not excited, you're not happy about it.

Something that annoys you.

Dan: A simple thing that annoys me is we used to have this fan in our living room, and the

fan would be spinning and it would make a clicking sound, it would go, "Click, click,

click, click," over, and over, and over again.

And I could not take that sound, it was so annoying, so I had to turn it off, and then

we were hot.

Vanessa: It was hot in our house.

Dan: At night, I would rather be hot than hear that sound over and over again.

Vanessa: So the fan annoyed you.

Dan: Yes.

Vanessa: And you used a great phrasal verb, "I can't take it."

Dan: Yeah, I couldn't take it.

Vanessa: Yes.

What does it mean if you say, "My job is so annoying, I can't take it anymore."

Dan: Yeah, that means you're about to leave the job, or turn something off, or just stop

it, go away.

You know, you can't take it.

Vanessa: Yeah, I kind of have this image in my mind of your patience.

Your patience is lowering, and lowering, and lowering and then all of a sudden you don't

have any more patience, that's when you can't take it.

Dan: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Vanessa: Like, "I've tried to be patient, I tried to be patient," and then, "I can't

take it!"

Dan: Yeah.

Do you find me annoying?

Vanessa: I wouldn't say ... Not usually.

Dan: Well you can't really be married to somebody, well you could, but it wouldn't be a fun marriage.

Vanessa: Yeah, I think that when there's things that you do that annoy me, I usually just

tell you right away.

Like, "Hey, stop tapping," when he drums on tables and I'm trying to concentrate, "Stop

tapping, I need to focus."

I tell you, I think pretty directly.

Dan: Yeah.

Vanessa: Do you think so?

Dan: Yeah, yeah.

Vanessa: Okay.

Dan: You're very direct.

Vanessa: Especially when- Dan: You're not very annoying though.

Vanessa: Oh yeah?

Dan: Yeah, she's not annoying ever.

Vanessa: That's good.

Dan: She's kind of perfect really.

Vanessa: Well you're a little biased.

Dan: I am a little biased.

Vanessa: Well let's go to the second question.

Dan: Okay.

Vanessa: My second question is, have you ever felt down in the dumps?

This is an idiom, but I think we can explain it in a ... Just a quick sense, how would

you explain "down in the dumps?"

Dan: That means depressed.

Maybe close to depressed.

Vanessa: You're not- Dan: You're very, very sad.

Vanessa: You're not clinically depressed, you're not taking medication, but you're really

sad.

Dan: You're very, very, very sad.

Vanessa: Yeah.

So this is a kind of more serious question, but-

Dan: I know, this is going to get dark.

Vanessa: Have you ever felt down in the dumps?

And I want to know for you, have you ever felt down in the dumps?

Dan: I know that we've been down in the dumps because we were long distance before.

Vanessa: Can you explain what that means?

Dan: Yeah.

So if you're in a long distance relationship, you don't live close by.

Vanessa: It's so hard.

Dan: So she was in France and I was in the United States and we were-

Vanessa: Or I was in South Carolina and you were in Tennessee, we're six hours apart.

Then we were an ocean apart for three years.

Dan: Yeah, so when I was down in the dumps the most it was probably in college when we

separated.

We were still dating, but we didn't see each other very much, and I had no friends, and

I was living alone, and it was a new school, and I watching YouTube videos for the first

time about conspiracy theories.

Vanessa: And you just go down that- Dan: And I went down a rabbit trail.

Vanessa: Sad spiral.

Dan: Which I don't believe in conspiracy theories.

Vanessa: But, it was a difficult time for you?

Dan: Back them I thought the world was upside down.

Vanessa: Oh no.

So this idiom, "down in the dumps," what is a dump?

So we can kind of get this visual image of dumps.

Dan: I kind of assumed it meant garbage.

Vanessa: Yeah, that's what I would say.

Dan: Trash.

Vanessa: When you say- Dan: I'm in the trash.

Vanessa: Yeah, you kind of imagine you're in this really terrible place, it's where

people take their old couches, or their trash, and this is called "the dump."

So when I was little I remember my dad would say if he had something that the trash man

wouldn't take, maybe some big item or something like that, he would often ask me, "Vanessa,

do you want to go to the dump with me?"

And I don't know why, but that was so fun for me because it was out in the country,

and we got to drive on these fun roads, and then we got to throw things into this big

hole.

Dan: Oo, yeah.

Vanessa: Which is always fun.

So this is the literal dump, D-U-M-P.

We would go to the dump, but if you are figuratively down in the dumps, down in the dumps.

It means you're sad?

Dan: Yeah, have you been down in the dumps?

Vanessa: Yeah, I think that the times that I've been down in the dumps has been in serious

situations like family problems, or when we were separated, those kind of relational deep

things.

I feel like I don't get down in the dumps for small things.

Dan: Yeah, or- Vanessa: Some people do.

Dan: Or for very long.

I've never seen Vanessa sad for a long time.

Vanessa: Mm, I feel like- Dan: She usually gets happy pretty quickly.

Vanessa: Well it's hard for me to maintain always-

Dan: Sorrow.

Vanessa: Yeah, always being sad.

I can have a hurt inside that lingers for awhile, but I think that constantly, when

I got to the store, being sad with the cashier, when I come home and I'm cooking dinner, being

sad, when I talk with Dan- I can't keep it up for that long.

I might feel sad inside and- Dan: She can't keep a smile away honestly,

it just comes.

Vanessa: Well let's go to the third question, which is, do you get easily embarrassed?

Here I'm using a "get" expression plus an adjective, "get embarrassed."

Get happy, get hungry, get thirsty.

But this one is get embarrassed.

So do you get easily embarrassed?

Dan: No.

Vanessa: That's what I thought you'd say.

Dan: Yeah, not really.

Maybe if I'm thinking about going to a party, or seeing friends, maybe I get a little nervous

that I'll say something silly, or dumb, or I don't know.

But when I'm actually in a situation with people and I say something, I'll say almost

anything and maybe it's kind of silly, and I don't feel embarrassed.

Vanessa: I feel like you're the kind of person who has a very low embarrassment level.

Dan: Maybe high.

Vanessa: You don't often get embarrassed.

Dan: I don't often get embarrassed.

Vanessa: But, you can- Dan: I say a lot of embarrassing things though.

Vanessa: You can inadvertently make other people feel embarrassed.

And inadvertently means you're not trying to, but you just do.

I remember one time when we were ... This isn't so serious, but I remember one time

we were living in Korea and one of our good friends was walking along the road, the sidewalk

with us, and you just did something simple, something I'm used to, I didn't think anything

about it.

You just like, jumped up on this brick wall and just went, "Yay, I'm so happy," or you

just did something kind of silly, and she said, "Dan, what are you doing?

That's so crazy."

But for you, it was nothing.

Dan: "You're so crazy."

Vanessa: It was nothing, it wasn't that crazy.

But for her, she was embarrassed by your actions.

Dan: Yeah.

Vanessa: I would say a moment ago when you were talking about my journals, I felt a little

embarrassed.

Dan: Talking about ex-boyfriends.

Vanessa: I felt a little embarrassed, but I think that that's ... For me, it's easy

to see when I'm embarrassed because I easily blush.

Dan: I do too a little bit.

Vanessa: A little bit?

Dan: Last night I got a little embarrassed.

Vanessa: Last night?

Dan: Yeah.

Vanessa: What happened last night?

Dan: I said something at trivia.

Vanessa: Oh, we went with our friends and you said something embarrassing.

Dan: Yeah.

I got a little embarrassed, but not ... It wasn't a big deal.

Vanessa: Oh yeah, yeah.

Dan: I didn't have to walk away and cry.

Vanessa: Oh, sure.

Should I share with everyone why you were embarrassed?

Dan: What did I say?

I don't remember.

Vanessa: I remember- Dan: I've already erased it from my memory.

Vanessa: This is our trivia team, and trivia is kind of like a game show.

We go to a restaurant or a bar and our team, which is just our friends, with other teams,

we have to answer some questions correctly about music-

Dan: Trivial things.

Vanessa: Or history, things that aren't really important.

That's why it's called "trivia," trivial, it's not important.

But one of the questions was, "TV show theme songs."

Dan: Oh, I do remember this now.

Vanessa: So our team didn't know- Dan: It's a little embarrassing.

Vanessa: Didn't know the TV show theme song, and Dan knew it.

The theme song was for?

Dan: Baywatch.

Vanessa: And Baywatch is just a silly- Dan: It's a stupid soap opera.

Vanessa: A silly show, and Dan was embarrassed that he knew the theme song.

Dan: Yeah.

It's about women in swim suits.

Vanessa: Yeah.

Dan: Running, they're saving people, and it's really dumb.

Vanessa: So you felt embarrassed that you knew that.

Dan: But I never really watched it.

Not much, I just knew the theme song for some reason.

Was I right?

Vanessa: Yeah, you were right.

Dan: I was right.

Vanessa: Yeah, you were right.

Dan: I know Baywatch.

Vanessa: It was that, and you said- Dan: Go watch from Baywatch.

Vanessa: Yeah, sometimes if you know something but you feel a little bit embarrassed that

you know it, it's a great way to use this.

"I feel embarrassed because I shouldn't have known that.

That was a little weird."

Dan: Yeah.

When were you the most embarrassed?

Vanessa: Oh, the most embarrassed?

Dan: What's the most embarrassing thing that ever happened?

Vanessa: I feel like a lot of times I tried to just brush it off and pretend like I'm

not embarrassed, but really inside I am embarrassed.

So, maybe I'll laugh or smile, sometimes that's my go to, or maybe I'll just change the subject

or say something like, "Oh, that's interesting.

Well, let's look at this."

Or just kind of divert attention to something else.

Dan: Yeah.

You can't think of one moment though?

Vanessa: I feel like- Dan: I can.

Vanessa: Oh, you can?

Dan: Should I tell you mine?

Vanessa: Oh, you're going to tell about when I was embarrassed?

Dan: No, no, when I was embarrassed.

Vanessa: Okay, okay, go ahead.

Dan: My story's easy.

Vanessa: Oh yeah?

Dan: Yeah, I was in college and I was doing a presentation.

Vanessa: Oh, okay, yeah.

You should talk about this.

Dan: Yeah, I had a presentation in front of the whole class and I didn't sleep that night.

I got up to do my presentation and I forgot everything.

And then I had to leave the room, that was very embarrassing.

Vanessa: Yeah.

Dan: Maybe the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me.

Vanessa: That would be really embarrassing.

Dan: That was bad.

Vanessa: I wasn't in the room when that happened, but you could say-

Dan: I think I called you afterwards.

Vanessa: I think so to.

Dan: "It's so embarrassing."

Vanessa: If I were in the room, I could say I was embarrassed for you.

So this means Dan is embarrassed, but I feel embarrassed because he feels embarrassed.

So you're kind of connecting your feelings, "I feel embarrassed because he feels embarrassed."

Dan: Yeah, everybody felt sorry for me.

Vanessa: Oh, that's a great expression, can you explain that?

Dan: Yeah.

That's kind of what you were saying, I felt bad and they felt bad too.

So they felt sorry for me, so both of us felt bad.

Vanessa: Yeah.

So if someone has something bad happen to them, so let's imagine that you are in an

English class, and you're trying to give a presentation, but then you get up in front

of the class and you feel so nervous that you can't say anything, and you just.

And then the teacher says, "Why don't you sit down and try again?"

Dan: This is basically what happened.

Vanessa: Happened to Dan.

Dan: Yeah.

Vanessa: But you're a native English speaker, so it can happen to anyone.

So the other students might say, "I feel sorry for you.

I feel sorry that that happened."

Because they're kind of sharing your embarrassment or sharing your sadness, it doesn't even have

to be embarrassment, it could just be sadness.

"I'm sorry.

I feel sorry for you because something sad happened."

It's just a sharing of feelings.

Alright, so my next question is about a negative and a positive emotion.

So I want to know when you're feeling stressed, what do you do to relax?

Before we talk about it I just want to mention the grammar here.

When you say, "When I feel stressed," stress has an -ed at the end.

I know that we often say, "I have stress," but it's pretty common to say, "I feel stressed,"

stressed.

So make sure that when you say stressed there's a T sound at the end.

"I feel stressed.

When I feel stressed I punch a wall.

When I feel stressed I go for a walk."

Dan: She does.

Vanessa: As you can see.

Dan: So stressed.

Vanessa: So what are things that you do when you feel stressed to feel more relaxed?

Dan: I would say the best thing to do, for me, is to go outside.

Vanessa: Oh.

Dan: Somewhere.

Vanessa: I'm curious why do you think that works?

Because I feel like a lot of people say that, "When I feel stressed I go outside."

Dan: Well, especially because I tend to look at a screen a lot-

Vanessa: Mm, a lot of people do.

Dan: So maybe I'm looking at my computer, and then I'll look at my phone, and then I'm

reading all kinds of posts about everything, I'm reading new stories about politics, and

I'm just getting overwhelmed.

And that's after work already, you know?

So, if you go outside and you don't bring your phone, then it's just you and sky, and

the trees, and I'm climbing a mountain now, I'm not doing anything that's too mentally

anguishing.

Vanessa: Sure.

I feel like for me, going outside definitely helps, and I think that it helps because it

kind of gives me a bigger perspective.

I remember one time, something happened on my website, and for me, I'm an English teacher,

I want to teach English, technology is interesting to me, and it's a challenge for me, but when

something goes wrong I can easily feel stressed or overwhelmed by it because I don't easily

know the solution.

I had some problem with my website and I was feeling stressed and I just walked out of

this room where I make lessons and Dan, you said, "Let's go for a walk.

Let's just walk."

And when we walked around the neighborhood, it was like, 15 minutes, but I felt so much

better.

I just looked around and thought, "There is a world outside my website.

There's trees, there's people walking around."

Dan: It helps to move too, some movement Vanessa: Yeah, you just have a bigger perspective

of things going on.

Maybe for you, when you're looking at bad things happening in the world, or politics

you feel like that's everything.

Dan: It's easy to feel stressed nowadays.

Thank you, social media.

Vanessa: So when you want to feel relaxes, getting away from that is really helpful.

And nature is really nice for that.

You know something funny?

It works for our baby too.

Dan: Oh yeah, he likes being outside a lot.

Vanessa: Yeah.

Whenever he's fussy or crying, when we walk outside, instantly he seems just curious and

aware.

It works, that's amazing.

So, it's a good tip if you're feeling stressed about learning English.

Dan: Nature is good for you, yeah.

Vanessa: Yeah, go outside, take a deep breath.

Dan: Stop and smell the roses.

Vanessa: Stop and smell the roses, yes.

This is a good English proverb, maybe there's something similar in your language as well.

Dan: Stop and pet a cat.

Vanessa: Pet a cat, yeah.

What does "Stop and smell the roses actually mean?"

Because maybe there's no roses.

What does this figuratively mean?

Dan: It means stop being distracted by everything or worried about everything and appreciate

the small things.

Vanessa: Mm, yeah.

Appreciate the small things.

Dan: Notice the small things around you.

Vanessa: Yeah, I think- Dan: Or, simple pleasures.

Vanessa: Yeah, that's especially what I think.

Taking time to slow down and notice the things around you.

Dan: Yeah.

Vanessa: In fact, we just finished reading a book about a girl who had a lot of stress

in her life, and at the end of the book her ideas changed, her mental health changed.

When she was getting healthier, she walked outside and she noticed all those little details.

She noticed the people walking on the streets, their dogs, the flowers, the shops.

She noticed those details and I think that that-

Dan: And smiled about them.

Vanessa: Yeah, and smiled about them.

Dan: Got to smile.

Vanessa: Really appreciating those things.

Sure, sometimes even just a simple smile can help.

But stress is certainly no fun.

Well, thank you Dan, for talking about all of these emotions today.

Dan: You're welcome.

Vanessa: Yeah.

Excitement, annoying, down in the dumps- Dan: We didn't talk about anger though.

Vanessa: Oh, anger.

Do you want to talk about anger?

Dan: I'm so angry that we aren't talking about anger.

Vanessa: Alright.

Well, we just did.

Dan: Not really.

Vanessa: Well- Dan: We don't get angry anyways.

Vanessa: Mm. Dan: We're above angry.

Vanessa: Mm, hmm, I think everyone gets angry.

It's good to get angry about things that you should be angry about, I think.

Dan: True.

Vanessa: Like I'm angry that there is injustice in the world.

I'm angry that people mistreat children, or mistreat their dogs.

It's good to be angry about those things, but you can't let it really get you down in

the dumps for long.

But I think there's a time and a place for anger.

Dan: For sure.

Vanessa: Yes.

Well thank you so much for joining me for this live lesson.

If you enjoyed it let us know in the comments.

Try to use these emotion words that we used and try to make your own sentences in the

comments.

If you enjoyed this let us know and we'll do it again, have another conversation.

Dan: Yeah.

Vanessa: Check the description for some of these vocabulary words, some of the questions

that we talked about, and I hope that you'll join me here on my YouTube channel.

Make sure that you subscribe to get notifications for any future lesson.

Dan: Click "Subscribe."

Vanessa: Yes, click "Subscribe," click the bell so you get a notification.

If you'd like to become my personal student and also learn with Dan in the Fearless Fluency

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Check the description below this video and thank you so much for joining me.

Dan: Thank you.

Vanessa: I hope you have a wonderful day, we'll see you again the next time.

Bye.

Dan: Peace.