Afraid of Speaking English? Try these steps

It's easy for you to say "put yourself  out there and just start speaking" because  

you're a native speaker. I practice at home and  it's okay, but when I actually have to speak,  

my palms get sweaty, my heartbeat  races and I just start to shake.  

Now with most things that we do whether it's new  or something that makes us nervous, it's always  

important to just try and break that  initial resistance. I know sometimes it's  

easier said than done, but imagine you were in  a life-threatening situation. You would actually  

be forced to break that resistance, you wouldn't  even think about it. So we kind of just have to  

put ourselves in that kind of mindset and  just really go for it. In those moments  

when you're in a life-threatening situation or a  really serious one, you don't even have the time  

to think about it, so you just act. And this  is going to help you to break that resistance,  

to break through that barrier that is holding  you back. That fear that is holding you back.  

Think of English as a tool for other things.  Maybe it will help you to start a new hobby,  

you'll meet and make new friends or you'll even  go for that job promotion you've been wanting.  

What are you missing out on because of your fear.  You have to think of it in this way what might  

I actually be missing out on because I'm not  putting myself out there and I'm not going for  

it. So I suggest that you share this lesson with a  friend because in it I'm going to be giving you an  

action plan to help you feel more relaxed in those  situations where you need to speak English. Such  

as meeting someone new, going to a party or even  in a school university or job related situation.  

Because here at RealLife English we want to make  sure that you are not alone in your learning  

journey. As language learners ourselves we  want to guide you beyond the classroom to  

live your English. Just like David who says he's  already improved his English with our channels,  

but he's also downloaded the RealLife English App  and has connected with lots of people from all  

around the world. Because this is what learning  English is all about. It's about connecting with  

others and living your English. So if that's  something you would like to do, make sure you  

hit that subscribe button and the bell down below,  that way you will not miss any of our new lessons.

Step one. You don't need to discuss  nuclear physics or cryptocurrency  

when you are trying to speak in English.

Speaking a language that is not your native one  is a sign of bravery. I remind myself of this  

every day when I have to make a phone call, for  example, in Spanish. That's right, I've lived in  

Barcelona in Spain for eight years now, but I  still get nervous when I want to make a phone  

call or I'm in a new situation that I haven't been  in before and i have to speak the language. So I  

still take some time beforehand to prepare myself  or to plan and think about what I want to say.  

So what I recommend you do is to start simple.  Start with one sentence and then think about  

the next sentence or even think of a question that  you want to ask someone. When I first moved here,  

we had a porter in our building, a doorman, and he  was quite friendly and we just started by having  

some small interactions with him every day to  practice our Spanish, so it could be something  

about the weather, a general comment about the  weather, maybe asking him how his day was or how  

he was doing and you know he'd probably ask us the  same. So you just have to start off very small and  

very simple. Also don't forget the benefits of  practicing alone. So you might want to prepare  

for these small interactions at first to help  to build your confidence and to break away from  

that fear factor. Don't forget even professional  athletes, before they go out to a competition,  

they must prepare and they do this on their own  beforehand or with a trainer. So you can do the  

same. You can prepare at home beforehand, you  could write out a script, you could practice  

speaking on your own or even if you have a friend  who's also learning or someone that you trust,  

you can practice with them. Send them some voice  notes or, you know, practice speaking together.

Step two. You may say I just  can't find the words to say...

Now, if you understand the main points of a video  you're watching or a conversation that people are  

having around you, chances are you probably know  enough to be able to talk to them as well and  

respond to them. What's missing is just piecing  everything together. So you've probably heard some  

of this vocabulary before, you've probably heard  some of these comments before as well and it's  

just remembering that and putting it all together.  now I highly recommend, if you haven't already,  

that you watch this lesson next because it's  going to expand on this point even more.  

It's also really important to make a conscious  effort to notice some key phrases or questions  

in conversations. Ones that you can  then remember for future conversations.  

For example "what do you think about that" and  "did you hear about this?" That way, if you're  

paying close attention you can then practice  those in order to remember them. Forget about  

fully rehearsed answers here. It's all about  interaction. So your response doesn't need to be  

perfect it's just about responding and  interacting and making that connection with  

someone. You don't need to remember a specific  response to answering this question, for example  

"have you heard about what happened in Italy this  week?" So if someone is asking you a question,  

that starts off with "have you" you are probably  thinking you'd need to respond with "yes i have"  

or "no i haven't" but if in that moment you can't  remember that, it really doesn't matter. A simple  

yes or no will do or even responding with, or  like a simple shaking of the head or something  

or if you didn't quite understand you could even  say "oh no I'm not sure" or "no, what happened?"

Step three: you're bound to feel  nervous in an unknown situation.  

Now this is true of everyone. It's simply  human nature, it doesn't really matter,  

especially for myself, it doesn't really  matter if I have experienced something  

10 times before or if I'm doing  something for the first time,  

chances are I'm going to be a little bit nervous.  Of course if I'm doing it for the first time,  

my nerves are going to probably be a bit stronger  than if I've done it many times. But I think also  

having that nervous feeling means that you care  about what is happening. So it's not necessarily  

a really bad thing, it's true that second language  anxiety is a real thing, so don't be too hard on  

yourself here. But I can guarantee you that as  you practice you start to do this more and more,  

it's going to get better. So, for example, like  I just explained, if you're doing something  

for the first time, you're going to feel strong  feelings of nervousness, but then if you're doing  

it for the eighth ninth or tenth time, you still  might feel a bit nervous, but it's going to be  

a lot better because you've had some practice.  You might have those negative thoughts going on  

in your head like "oh but my English isn't good  enough" or "what if they don't understand me",  

but the thing is if that holds you back and you  never actually speak, you're never actually going  

to practice and improve your English and you're  never even going to know the answers to those  

questions. You'll never know how to run a 5k race  if you've never dipped your toes in running for  

one minute or two minutes or even trying a sprint  for example. I remember back in 2013 I set myself  

the challenge of running the London Marathon and  I wasn't a runner at all. In fact, I didn't really  

enjoy running at all either, that's why it was  a challenge for me. But I started off with a 5k,  

so I started off with something much, much  smaller that was then going to help me build  

on that to then be able to run the marathon, which  I managed to do successfully even with an injury.  

So this also even emphasizes the  point I made in point one with  

"start simple". Start with something small and  then build on that. It's really going to help you.

Step four: people won't laugh at you, but  you should probably laugh at yourself. 

Don't forget that language is alive, slang words  come and go all the time, so slang that I used  

to use as a kid is not as popular now and there  are so many new words that probably even I don't  

know and I don't use. So it's virtually impossible  to know all of the words and all of the meanings  

at any given time. Would you mock someone that was  trying to speak your native language? I would hope  

not, I certainly would never do this, especially  as a language learner myself, I'm just so grateful  

that people speak English or even try to speak  English with me that I would never mock them.  

Even if they make a mistake, I wouldn't correct  them, unless they ask me if they have made a  

mistake or not. If you use a word incorrectly and  people notice it or someone comments on it, just  

laugh at yourself see the light in the situation.  You're a language learner, you're not a language  

expert. And i mean, even natives make mistakes  as well and we laugh at ourselves all the time,  

so you should too. To this day I remember specific  mistakes that I've made in Spanish living here in  

Spain as well. Some have been with friends,  some have been with people that I don't know,  

but I learn from all of those and I still laugh  at some of those situations as well. There have  

been somewhere I've mixed up words or I've learned  that some words in Spanish have double meanings  

which I didn't know of. And, you know, although  maybe sometimes in that moment you get a little  

bit embarrassed, you can really see the funny  side of it and that's what you need to do.

Step five is to find a judgment-free environment  to practice just a little bit every day.  

Each conversation is a moment to practice to  get even better. You might find a speaking club,  

you might find other language learners in your  city or in your town. And also this is why we  

created the RealLife English App. Everyone  there is a language learner, so there is no  

pressure at all, you can connect with like-minded  people for short dynamic conversations. And even  

if someone is at a different level than you,  it's not going to make your English worse,  

you'll see that as you start to use it. If you  find someone whose level is better than yours,  

see it as an opportunity to learn from them. And  if you find someone whose level is a bit lower  

than yours, then you can see it as an opportunity  to teach them something that maybe you learnt or  

that they don't know. So to start practicing your  speaking just for a little bit every single day,  

make sure you download the RealLife English  App. You definitely won't regret it and it's  

absolutely free. You can do it right now  in the Google Play or the Apple App Store  

or you can click this link up here and I'll  also add it down in the description below.  

Now if when you are speaking in your native  language you feel confident and you speak a lot  

but when you're speaking in English you're  constantly apologizing and saying "sorry for  

my bad English", then this lesson is definitely  for you. So make sure you watch it next.