The Key to CHANGE your LIFE'S DESTINY — Podcast for English Learners

So I think we could say that knowing your values,  defining them, is the icing on the cake. Man,  

when I saw that for the first time I was  like "yes! that's it!" You know? That's  

it. Now maybe you are a good Samba  dancer, maybe you do play football  

well or soccer. It's a secret that I've  been keeping from everybody, you know.

So in today's episode, we are looking forward to  shifting over to talk about mindset. And in fact,  

mindset is at the center of our teaching  methodology, the RealLife Way. And the reason  

for that is because it's just something that is  so fundamental in making everything else better,  

right? Uh, and in particular, within mindset,  we're going to look at values. So what we're  

hoping to do is to help you to get more insight  into what are the values that you already have  

that you identify as being your values - cuz each  of us have different values, right - and that you  

live by. Because if you're able to identify those  and kind of augment their place in your life, it  

can just, it makes everything so much better. It  makes everything so much more effective. It means  

that you can be aligned with those values and be  making a bigger impact on yourself, on your life,  

on the world, of course. And finally, uh, values  are something that are super important because  

they're like the, they're like a set of glasses,  say that you are wearing, that you put on,  

and it's kind of, you're seeing the world through  those lenses. If any of us have ever put on our  

friend's glasses that it's like everything goes  blurry, right? So, you know, if you, maybe you're  

living your life by not the best values, then you  might see the world in a negative way, you might  

be very pessimistic, you might not believe in  yourself. But if you're able to adopt values or,  

um, strengthen values that you do have, but maybe  you're not living by, then you'll start seeing  

the world in a, in a brighter light, and it'll  allow you to make better decisions, and so on. 

By the way, if my listening skills are not  failing me right now - did you say augment? 

Augment. Yeah. (Wow.) Augment  is to increase something. 

So, Ethan, getting back to this talk about  values, yeah, um, so I think we could say that  

knowing your values, defining them is the icing  on the cake for many ofus. Wouldn't you agree? 

It's a very nice expression. What does it  mean if something is the icing on the cake? 

Yeah. When you take something good and you improve  it, you, you make it better. Just like a cake.  

Imagine a cake is already great and delicious, but  the icing is the, the thing that you, you know,  

put on top of it and around it to make it  even more delicious or even more appealing  

or tasty. So yeah, the icing on the cake, like  you take something good and make it even better. 

And that said, Thiago, let's get into my  big question for you of the day, which is,  

what is one core value that you hold dear? And how  has it influenced your life decisions and actions? 

For me, Ethan, one of my core values is definitely  resilience. And before I talk about that,  

let me just quickly define how I view resilience.  Resilience for me is about how effectively you  

handle challenges, obstacles, adversity  in life. Because, you know, we all have  

problems. We all have obstacles. Yeah. We have  bumps on the road. Yeah. Nobody's life is, um,  

a hundred percent smooth. But how you deal with  those bumps, how you deal with those challenges,  

the more resilient you are, the better you tend  to deal or cope, uh, with those challenges. 

What does cope mean? Deal with, could be a synonym. You cope  

with a situation, you deal with it, you handle  it. Yeah. Another part of the definition that I  

like to think about is also, um, I, I find I, in  my opinion, resilient people tend to recover more  

quickly as well from setbacks. You know. Very true. 

Uh, we all have setbacks in our lives sometimes,  you know, sometimes you are, you know, uh, feeling  

like you are progressing in life, you know, you  are, you know, doing well, and then something  

happens that either stops that progress for a  moment or maybe even forces you to take one or  

two steps back, or get you down a little bit.  Yeah. So I find that the more resilient you are  

as a person, the quicker you recover, the quicker  you get back on the course, you get back on track  

and keep moving forward. So for me, that was  definitely, that is definitely one of my core  

values. And, um, I think it's a value that has  served me very well in my life, professionally  

speaking, personally speaking. But one example  I can give here to make it more concrete is  

learning English, because I think by now it's not  a secret anymore that I learned English in Brazil,  

here in my home country. I've never been abroad.  And back then, 20 years ago when I started,  

I could have given, or I could, I could  have told myself maybe dozens of excuses  

not to learn English, you know? Oh, I  didn't have enough money to buy a course,  

I couldn't hire a teacher, or I didn't have enough  money to travel. So I could have told myself  

many things, uh, not to learn English. But instead  of that, I decided to take another path, which is,  

which was the path of, okay, I wanna learn this  language. I think it's gonna be important for me,  

it's gonna be good for me. I wanna do it. I'm,  you know, let me do it. Yeah. Let me find a way  

to learn this language, given my circumstances,  my resources at that time. And then I, I thought  

it might be more challenging for me or more  difficult than for somebody else who has more  

resources, but that's okay. Or it might take me  longer, maybe somebody else with more resources  

could do it in three years or two years.  But, you know, my mindset at that time was,  

even if I took 10 years, I don't care because,  you know, eventually I'm gonna get there to my  

goal. So this is an example of resilience. I think  that if I hadn't been resilient enough back then,  

I wouldn't have learned English the way I learned,  and I wouldn't be using English nowadays the way I  

use for work and for life. Um, that actually  reminds me of a really nice clip from the  

Pursuit of Happiness. Have you seen that, that  movie, the Pursuit of Happiness with Will Smith? 

I have, it's a, it's a great one. In fact,  we even have a, a lesson with it. It's one  

of our most popular lessons on Learn English  with TV Series of all time, which we can link  

down in the description, if you're watching  this on YouTube or in the show notes, if  

you're just listening to the audio to check out. There is a really cool scene, uh, I, I don't know  

if you remember when he walks in the job, the,  the interview, uh, for the internship program  

he's applying for, and he's all covered in paint  because he had an incident with his apartment the  

night before. So he was clearly not dressed  appropriately. And looking at the interview,  

you know, watching the interview, it was clear  that he didn't have the qualifications necessary  

for that position. Right? But then he says, he  says something really nice in that scene that  

really, like, you know, I think it, it defines  very well also what we mean, well, what I mean  

by resilience. Actually, we have the clip here.  So if T could play for us so that we can listen  

to it or watch, that'd be nice, Can I say something? Um,  

I'm the type of person, if you ask me a question  and I don't know the answer, I'm gonna tell you  

that I don't know. But I bet you what, I know how  to find the answer and I will find the answer. 

Man. When I saw that for the first time, I  was like, yes, that's it. You know? That's it!  

Because, you know, and that's how I, I operate, or  I have operated most of my life, you know, like,  

I never let these things kind of bring me down,  like, you know, Hey, I'm gonna tell you, I don't  

know, but I will find the answer. I will find a  way to get the job done, or to be successful at  

this or that thing. Right? So, and I think that  this is also, it, it shows how confident you are  

in yourself as well, because, you know, if you  believe in yourself, if you are confident enough,  

you will, you know, by being in that position  more often. Like, Hey, I don't know, but hey,  

I can do it. You say you trust yourself enough  to say, I can do it. I can learn this. Okay. So,  

yeah, I mean, resilience is definitely really  important to me. And, um, if there is one thing  

that my, I want my kids to learn from me, you  know, my two kids, my son and my daughter,  

is that, you know, I want them to be resilient  people as well, to develop that tough skin,  

you know? And to go for what they want in life.  You know, not, you know, what, giving excuses  

or pointing fingers, you know, to justify maybe  their failures. I don't want them to do that. So. 

I think for being successful at anything - English  is a great example - resilience is, it's crucial.  

Uh, I actually took some notes cuz it, it reminded  me of some things when you were discussing that.  

There's a great quote that says, something along  the lines that "wind extinguishes a candle,  

but it, um, but it fans a fire". So this, what  this basically is comparing is that, you know,  

when you have adversity is the wind, so if there's  a, a gust of wind, we might say, you know, so some  

wind blowing, it would put out a candle, right?  A candle is weak. But a fire, if you're, it can  

cause like a wildfire, right? It can cause just  like this huge, powerful thing. So the difference  

between someone who's resilient and someone who,  who's not resilient, then not resilient person  

would be like the candle, right? They're going to  be thrown into adversity and they'll just go out  

there to say, I can't do it. That's too big of a  challenge for me. I, I don't have the skills. I'm  

not naturally talented. I don't have the money,  I don't have this and that other thing that would  

make it more ideal, right, for me. But, and this  is very much like growth mindset that we talk  

about a lot. Uh, you know, people who lean into  it saying, you know, I I can do it, uh, as long  

as I work hard at it, right? That's more like the  person who's going to be like the, the fire. And,  

and maybe you're even the case that, that that  wind blows and it, it just, it pushes you.  

There's people, you tell them that they can't,  and they're going to find a way. They're going  

to go at it forever, you know, until they actually  make it. So, uh, it's really something that if you  

don't have that already, you need to cultivate it.  You need to just work on your self-talk even of  

catching yourself if you're saying like, I can't  do this. It's too hard. Uh, I don't have the  

talents, I don't have the skills, I don't have  the money. And so on to shift that, to say like,  

I can't do it yet. And finally, the, there's a  really great image, actually maybe, uh, T can,  

can show it hear, that this reminded me of that's  expectations versus reality. And it shows like  

a biker - the expectation being that he's, he's  going to his goal, right? And it's like a straight  

line. But then the reality is it's all these  ups and downs. There's canyons, there's lakes,  

there's bridges that have to be crossed. There's  mountains that have to be climbed, right? So  

it tends to be when we have a goal or something,  we think like, oh, it's gonna be this clear,  

this clear path and everything. But life has  always throws at us obstacles, right? So, uh,  

those were two things that I thought of. And  (Amazing) that scene, it was like less than 20  

seconds. But if, uh, a learner, if there weren't  subtitles there, I think most learners would have  

a lot of difficulty understanding Will Smith  because he uses so much connected speech there.  

So, I, I took notes of some of this. I thought we  could actually just maybe step aside from values  

for just a moment. And I wanted to challenge  you guys to actually try to mimic these entire  

15 seconds. Exactly like Will Smith says 'em.  Cuz it's just, even if you're not interested in  

sounding like an native speaker, it's going  to help you a lot with your listening. So,  

um, let's see. I have here  the, the text. So he says,  

he starts out by saying, Can I say something? Can I say something? 

But he doesn't say, Can I say something? Which  is how most people learn how to say it in school,  

right? But he reduces CAN to kin. This is  something that, that we natives do all the time,  

right? Kin. And it links to the I  and I links to SAY. So Kin-I-say,  

Kin-I-say something? Can I say something? Kin- I- say, can I say something? 

Exactly. And then - I'm the type of person... I'm the type of person. 

Here we have schwa, we've talked a lot  about the, the schwa as well. That this  

is the most common sound in, at least in  American English. And it's this: uh, uh,  

we use it all the time. So in school you probably  learn to say the, but usually we'll reduce the  

to thuh, I'm thuh, I'm thuh type of person. So we  have another one there. The OF the V gets dropped  

and we also just pronounce it as schwa. And that  all links together. I'm thuh type uh person. 

I am thuh type of person. You got it. Going back to the scene. So  

Will Smith says, If you ask me a question. If you ask me a question. 

But there's again, a lot of connected speech in  this line. If you, so YOU oftentimes we natives  

will reduce that to ya or yuh as he does here.  So he says, If yuh, if yuh ask me uh - again,  

we have the schwa there. A - instead of saying  A, we'll often say uh, and then question If you,  

if yuh ask me uh question. If yuh, if yuh ask me uh question. 

You got it. And I don't know the answer.  So again, this he reduced a lot. So, AND  

oftentimes we'll say it that way, but oftentimes  we just say an' or 'n. So he says there an',  

and it links to the I - an' I. And then DON'T  we have a T at the end there. Usually when we  

have this NT at the end of words, we'll pronounce  that T as what's called a glottal T, it's a sound  

that's cut off at the back of, we cut the T off  at the back of our throat, right? So it's like uh,  

uh, uh, uh. And so instead of saying don't, which  a lot of learners I hear say: don't, or can't or  

isn't. We don't say that strong T in American  English we'll say, don't, can't, isn't, right?  

So he links all those, those three words together.  And I don't, an' -I- don', an'- I- don'. Again,  

we have a the here that's reduced to thuh, and  that links to KNOW. An'- I- don' know thuh answer. 

And I don't know the answer. The answer. Mm-hmm, exactly. Okay. We have here - I'm  

going to tell you that I don't know. I'm gonna tell you that I don't know. 

Which, of course he doesn't say it like that.  We have going to most learners know that that  

becomes gonna, right? So, uh, and he reduces  it even more. Oftentimes gonna will reduce to  

'unna. So he says, I, instead of saying  I'm going to, he says, I'munna, I'munna.  

And also like, again, there, the, the, YOU  reduces and links to Tell. So it's tell you.  

That I, we have an American T there. When we  have a T in American English between two vowel  

sounds. So here between A and an I, it usually  changes to a D sound. So instead of being That I,  

it's Thad- I. Don't again with the glottal T  there. Know. I'munna tell you thad-I don' know. 

Mm-hmm. I'munna tell you that I don't know. You got it. Okay. And then - But I bet you what,  

he says, which by the way, what does it mean  if you, if I say I bet you, I bet you what? 

Like placing a bet, like, you know, you are  willing to bet your money to put your money  

on the table and say, Hey, I can do this. And  if I can't, you can take my money away. Yeah. 

Exactly. So he says, But I bet you what... But I bet you what... 

He says as Bud- I, so we have an American T  there. And then something really interesting  

that happens here is oftentimes when we have a  T plus a Y in American English, we change it,  

it morphs into a -ch- sound. Same actually  happens. If you have a D plus a Y, it morphs into  

a -j- just sound. So Bet you becomes Bet-chew. And  you'll hear people say this a lot, like bet-chew  

or betcha. You know? And What - betcha what,  betcha what. So here he says - Bud- I betcha what. 

But I bet you what. I know how to find the answer. 

I know how to find the answer. So here we have the TO reduces to a  

schwa sound. So it becomes tuh. But then, because  it's a T between two vowel sounds, between the -uh  

and the -ow of How - it becomes how-duh, how-duh.  I know how-duh find the answer. So the the other  

thing that happens there is he drops the D on  Find. And this is probably because oftentimes  

when you have a D and a T following each other,  you might drop one of them. So he says, fin'-thuh,  

uh, actually I think here he emphasizes.  So he says, fin'- the, fin'- the answer.  

I know how- duh fin'- the answer. I know how to find the answer. 

And finally, this one has hardly any connected  speech because he's being very emphatic. So  

when we wanna be emphatic, oftentimes we'll  deliberately not use connected speech, right?  

So he says - An'- I. So we do have connected  speech there, which we saw before - An' - I,  

but then in every other word he says, pretty  pretty emphatically. An' - I will find the answer. 

And I will find the answer. Can I say something? Um,  

I'm the type of person, if you ask me a question  and I don't know the answer, I'm gonna tell you  

that I don't know. But I bet you what I know how  to find the answer and I will find the answer. 

So again, I wanna challenge you dear  your listener, dear your viewer to,  

you know, watch the entire scene again and try to  mimic Will Smith try to say it exactly as he did.  

So we gave you kind of the, the piece by piece  there. If you're watching the video on YouTube,  

it'll help too. Cause you'll, you'll be  able to see there the connected speech. But  

doing that, I promise you, if you, if you do that  a few times and you're able to get it really down  

how he says it, it's going to help you so much  to understand fast-speaking natives. Right?  

And speaking of understanding, fast-speaking  natives and even feeling more resilient when  

you're learning English, I highly recommend that  you check out the RealLife English app because  

you get an interactive transcript for, uh, the  podcast. So you'll be able to follow along as  

we're speaking and everything and see how we're  pronouncing things. Uh, you get to see all of the  

most important vocabulary as well. And you get  vocabulary flashcards so you never forget the new  

words that you're learning. And of course, you  can go have conversations with people from all  

around the world, so you practice everything that  you're learning anytime, anywhere. So check it  

out. It's absolutely free to download, just look  for RealLife English in your favorite app store,  

and we look forward to seeing you there. All right, Ethan, so I've shared my,  

one of my core values. What about you? I'm  curious to know what is one core value that  

you have and how has it influenced your  life and your decisions up until now? 

Yeah. So I put some reflection into this as  we were preparing for this lesson. And one  

that's really near and dear to my heart is global  citizenship, which actually, global citizenship  

is, I think a package really of different values  and everything. But our vision here at RealLife  

English is to create a world beyond borders.  And obviously, I, I'm one of the co-founders,  

so I helped to come up with this vision. And that  doesn't mean create a world without borders. We're  

not trying to, you know, break down and, and have  like a world where anyone can go anywhere. That  

might be nice at some someday some point, uh,  not needing to worry about passports and visas  

and so on. But when we say beyond borders, what  we really mean is that we're not limited by our  

borders. We're not limited by our culture. We're  not limited by the way of thinking in our part of  

the world. We're able to open our minds to be  able to speak with anyone from anywhere. And I  

think the big thing here is being a global  citizen is instead of being judgemental,  

you're curious. You know? So when you're, you're  having a conversation with someone from another  

country, they're doing something very strange,  that's different from how the people do it in  

your part of the world, instead of judging them,  you recognize that the the way that I do things,  

the way that my culture perceives the world  isn't the right way. It's just one way of  

doing it. And the way that this other person does  it, as long as it's not harming anyone, is also  

also perfectly valid. You know, we, we all have,  we all come out of these different traditions,  

these different, uh, value systems, these  different, uh, maybe religions or beliefs. So  

it's really opening yourself up and, and being  curious. And instead of judging, asking questions,  

really trying to put yourself in the other  person's shoes, really trying to understand  

how they see the world. And that's something  that I think is immensely challenging. So it's  

a value I hold, but it's something that I'm  always working at because it's very easy to,  

very easy to judge people. It's very easy to just  go by your stereotypes or the stereotypes you've  

been hearing all your life about it. You know, to  imagine that Thiago is a excellent samba dancer.  

He, he plays, uh, you know, football like, like  Neymar and, you know, he (Yeah.) has a pet monkey,  

of course. But obviously, like none of those  things are, are true. Well, not obviously,  

you know, maybe you are a good samba dancer.  Maybe you do play football well, or soccer. 

Oh yeah. It's a secret that I've been  keeping from everybody, you know. 

So coming back to this, there's, uh, a quote  that we like to use all the time here, which  

is - No matter what divides us, that which unites  us is far greater. And what this means is that,  

you know, as human beings, as you know, being  this, this same animal that has all these same  

fundamental problems and desires, you know, if you  have kids, ultimately you just want the best thing  

for your kids, no matter where you're from. All of  us have, uh, all of us wanna be successful in our  

lives. All of us want to feel like we matter. All  of us want to feel loved. All of us want to spend  

time with our friends and, and have meaningful  relationships and so on. All these things that  

connect us as human beings, there's so much more  important than all the superficial things that  

make us different depending where we come from,  like, you know, religion, traditions and, uh,  

and so on. So, if I had to say one core  idea here, I'd say that the big thing is  

being willing to lean into the discomfort that you  feel when someone has a different worldview from  

you. So, in, in other words could say, stepping  outside of your comfort zone and really being  

willing to challenge your assumptions. I really like that. It's so beautiful.  

Um, and it's a, it's about going deeper, right?  Because, uh, yes, maybe superficially speaking,  

we are different, right? Different countries,  different cultures, even, you know, the looks,  

right? But if you dig a little bit deeper, yeah,  you will see that there are some fundamental  

truths that everybody on earth, every human  being on earth shares. Like, you know,  

those examples you gave, right? So being able to  get past that initial barrier and realize that,  

hey, I mean, we, we actually have more in  common than we think, or than I thought. 

It allows you to start seeing that  it's really fascinating actually,  

all the different ways of operating and seeing the  world and so on. So if you're able to, you know,  

get off of your high horse, as we might say,  stop, stop being judgmental of people. Stop  

thinking that yours is the ultimate truth and so  on, it allows you to get to have more fun with it,  

to be, to be curious, to learn different ways of  doing things and so on. And, um, that's one of the  

really beautiful things about being able to speak  English as it allows you to open to yourself,  

up to all these different ways of, of seeing the  world, all these different realities. This whole,  

this whole, uh, conversation about stepping  outside of your comfort zone. It really  

reminds me of one of my favorite movies, which  is called Into the Wild. So we prepared a clip  

from that as well. I'll just, in case any of you  aren't familiar with this movie, in a nutshell,  

it's about a guy who is graduating college. You  know, he has parents who have these expectations  

that he should get a really good job, you know,  be a doctor or a lawyer or something like that.  

But he kind of rebels against that. He just  sees all of this as being kind of consumerist,  

capitalist culture. And he's wanting to go out  and, and have an adventure. He takes his car out  

to the desert, he burns it, he gives away all  of his money. Like he's, he's just completely  

breaking himself away from society. He changes his  name, his name's Chris, but he changes his name  

to Alexander Supertramp. And he, it's, uh, he's  working towards a dream. He wants to go to Alaska  

and live out in the wilderness, but throughout  the movie, and it's actually based on a book and  

a true story, he meets all these different people  along his way who have different impacts on him.  

And it's, it's like a lot of different beautiful  stories that happen within this movie. So  

the scene that I chose is from, uh, he's, I  believe in Arizona staying with this, this older  

man who's a widower, which means his, his wife  died, and he, he lives alone. And so they, they  

kind of cult... they cultivate, I got tongue-tied  there. They foster their, you could say, uh,  

relationship. And so Alexander Supertramp,  he's about to leave, but you know, they go out,  

um, outside together and Ron says, you know, what  are you running from? Why? What is the reason that  

you don't have this relationship anymore with  your family and that you're trying to go to  

Alaska? What are you running from? And Alexander  turns it around on him and says, like, I know what  

you're running from. So that's what we're going to  going to see. He challenges him, challenges him to  

break out of his stagnant existence there that  he's gotten into. But before we watch that clip,  

we wanted to give a very special thanks to one of  our viewers, listeners and app users who also is  

named Thiago. So obviously it's not from, not  from you, Thiago, from a different Thiago, uh,  

who is also from Brazil. So he even sent us in  an audio reading his review. So let's roll it. 

Hi everyone! I'm Thiago and I'm from  Brazil. My favorite part of the app is  

the possibility to practice the language using  podcasts to improve my level of comprehension.  

It's also the chance to talk to people all  around the world in English. Before the App  

I wasn't confident enough to talk to people  in English. And now my English is way better  

than I thought it was before this experience  with RealLife English. I love it. Aww yeah! 

All right, Thiago, thank you so much for the  wonderful shout out and testimonial. And it's  

amazing to see that we share the same name. If you want us to shout you out, then all  

you have to do is download the app, again it's  free. And if you enjoy the experience, leave us  

a 5-star review so we can find you and we can also  give our thanks here on the podcast. Alright, so  

now we're going to have Ice T, who's here in the  studio with us. Roll that clip of Into the Wild. 

You're gonna live a long time, Ron. You should  make a radical change in your lifestyle.  

I mean, the core of man's spirit comes from new  experiences, and there you are, stubborn old man  

sitting on your butt. Sitting on my butt? Yeah.  Ha. I'll show you sitting on my butt. Hooked up  

an old man. I'll show you. Come on then. Come on. That's a beautiful scene. Uh, just to give the  

listeners hear some visual context there.  So, the young guy, uh, Chris, his name,  

right? He's at the top of a hill, and then the  old guy hear, Ron, yeah, the elderly guy, he,  

he's at the bottom. And, and he actually climbs  up, he actually climbs up the hill when he says,  

I'll show you. Yeah? And he goes up and then he  joins, uh, Supertramp on, you know, up there,  

and then they sit together, have a, a nice  chat. Yeah. That is such a beautiful scene. 

Yeah. I highly recommend that if you haven't  watched it yet to check it out, cuz it's the  

whole movie is just like, so inspiring. Uh, but  the reason I chose this scene in particular is  

because I love this quote that he says, "The core  of man's spirit comes from new experiences", which  

I think is really everything that we're talking  about, about stepping outside of your comfort  

zone, uh, and, you know, experiencing new things,  meeting new people from other places and so on,  

just like he does. He's just in the States, but  he's still, the States, it's a big country, he's  

able to meet all these really different people  who teach him different things. So what, what  

does that mean, by the way, if you say that the  core of something, the core of man's spirit? 

Let's say maybe the main part of something.  Yeah? The main part of something is the core, the  

fundamental thing, quality or truth, let's say. And he calls him a stubborn old man. I think  

something like that, right? What  does it mean if someone is stubborn? 

If you are stubborn, you are stuck in your ways.  And, yeah, it's very hard to change your mind,  

to change your opinion. And, that's actually,  uh, it's usually used in a negative way, yeah,  

this word, because, you know, it  shows that you are inflexible,  

you are not open to other points of view,  other types of opinion. You are stubborn. 

We even have an expression we could use if  you're wanting to be even more emphatic,  

you can say someone is stubborn as a mule. A mule  is a, an animal, like a, I think it's crossed  

between a horse and a donkey. And, uh, apparently  these are very stubborn animals. They're, if  

they don't wanna move, for example, it's very  difficult to get them to move, right? They're  

just stubborn. And then people who are watching  on YouTube, they saw both of us were laughing  

when he says, sitting on your butt. What does  that mean if someone's sitting on their butt? 

Literally your butt is your behind, right? And,  uh, sitting on your butt is like a lazy person,  

yeah, you're just sitting on her butt, like  not doing anything, like sitting down and  

maybe watching TV all day long. Yeah. Or not  (Right?) doing much with your life, yeah,  

just sitting on your butt. It's a fun expression. And I, I really like too, uh, the way that he says  

this cuz he is as often happens, right, when we  have these words ending in -ing we will drop the  

G. So he just said, sittin' on. And, uh, he  reduces again, the your, like we saw before,  

we reduce you, we also reduce your, so he said,  sittin' on yir butt, sittin' on yir butt. And  

something here too that I thought I would  quickly point out is a lot of learners,  

I think because for example, in Spanish, you  don't have a word that you'd use for that's  

different between butt, butt, uh, butt and  ass, for example. And so I hear some learners  

will use the word ass, but ass is actually a  curse word in English, right? So, uh, yeah,  

ass, you, you can use if you're with, you  know, people who you have a good relationship  

with and everything, but in other cases,  butt is a softer word we could say, right? 

That reminds me of maybe a, a previous episode  we did where you mentioned this, right, Ethan?  

Um, also those cultural insights, yeah, like,  you know, for example, (Yeah.) cursing too  

lightly. Yeah. Like, you know, be careful with  the word ass, yeah? Don't use it so lightly. Yeah. 

And just like in, in ending the scene, uh, Ron  says, "I'll show you!" - what does that mean? 

So when somebody, um, challenges you or dares you  to do something, and you accept that challenge,  

you can say, Oh, yeah? You think I cannot do this?  I'll show you! Watch me. So, it's a great phrase  

to accept the challenge and do it. And watching  the scene is really nice because the, the, you  

know, Ron, he says, Oh yeah? I'll show you!  And then he does climb up the hill. Yeah? 

it despite difficulty, right? It's  actually, he's quite resilient. In  

that case, we could circle back. There you go. Yeah. Beautiful. 

The last thing I took note of is that, uh,  Alexander says, you are going to live a long time,  

but he says this really quickly, people might have  noticed this. He says, you're gonna live a long  

time. So he reduces the You're to yir, and going  to of course becomes gonna, uh, the live and a - a  

becomes schwa, and they, they link together. So  Live-uh long time. You're gonna live a long time. 

You're, you're gonna live, you're gonna live a  long time. (Nice.) So Ethan, okay. Uh, this is  

all nice and beautiful. Yeah. Get in touch with  your adventurous side, seek out adventure. But  

does that mean that now all of us have to go into  the woods or the wilderness, as you said earlier,  

and build our cabins there, not talk to  anybody anymore in order to be adventurous? 

I mean, that might be right for some people who  are listening or watching, you know, maybe that's,  

that's what you need right now. But I think  there's so many different kinds of adventure,  

right? Um, for example, having a kid is a huge  new adventure in your life. Even, you know,  

a a few years ago I got, I got a dog. I think I  underestimated the adventure that, that getting  

a puppy is as well, you know. So bringing  someone, a new family member in, that's a,  

that's a huge adventure. Uh, starting a business,  for example, maybe you've been, you know, in a,  

in a job, you're, you're stuck in a rut. You just  aren't happy with your job. You have this idea for  

something that you're, you're really passionate  about and you'd love to go do it. That would be  

a, a huge adventure, right? Or, or even just  sometimes it, it doesn't have to be something  

huge, but learning a new language or learning to  play a guitar or another instrument that you've  

always wanted to learn, that can be an adventure.  So I think it depends where you are in your life,  

maybe how resilient you are or how, um, how  much of a tolerance that you have for doing  

something new or, or challenging and so on.  So you can always start with something small,  

but I think that, you know, asking yourself,  what am I doing today to step outside of my  

comfort zone in some way? That could be doing a  new workout. It could be, we talked a few episodes  

ago about, you know, making the decision to take  the stairs instead of the elevator. That can be  

for some people stepping outside of their comfort  zone. It can be an adventure. So I think it, it  

really just depends. Start where you're at, right? That's amazing, you know. So, it's about  

challenging your assumptions, getting out  of her comfort zone, trying new things,  

being open to new experiences, always learning,  learning new things. So yeah, that's what we mean  

by being adventurous. Yeah? It can take the more  literal sense of the word. Yeah? Literally. Yeah.  

If maybe that's what you need, like Ethan said, or  maybe it's just about that. Yeah. Like, you know,  

experimenting new things, learning new things. Yeah. Step outside of your comfort zone.  

Big or small. Alright, so let's  jump into today's big challenge.  

So for today's big challenge, actually, before we  even get into the big challenge in preparing for  

this, Thiago, you had found a really nice  quote from David Brooks, who's actually a  

journalist from the New York Times. I think most  people are familiar with that publication and  

a writer. Uh, so do you want to share that? Yeah. It was really cool because, you know,  

in this article, uh, he's talking about the  difference between your resume virtues and your  

eulogy virtues. Just to contextualize here, your  resume is your curriculum. Yeah. Your CV. Yeah.  

When youapply for a job, you have that document,  that piece of paper with your background,  

you know, work background, educational background,  that's your resume. So he calls a resume virtues  

and the eulogy virtues. Eulogy is, uh, usually  a speech, uh, that is given when somebody passes  

away or dies. Yeah. You know, there's usually  somebody there, um, speaking some nice words  

about that person who has just, uh, passed away.  That's your eulogy. Now it's really cool because,  

you know, he compares the difference here. Yeah.  He explains the difference. And he says that we  

should focus more in life on developing our eulogy  virtues instead of resume virtues. So let me read  

here, uh, the, the paragraph where he defines  that. So here it is. "The resume virtues are  

the ones you list on your resume, the skills that  you bring to the job market and that contribute to  

external success. The eulogy virtues are deeper.  They're the virtues that get talked about at your  

funeral, the ones that exist at the core of your  being.- that's the word, there's that word again,  

right, Ethan? Core. At the core of her being...  "whether you are kind, brave, honest, or faithful.  

What kind of relationships you formed." He uses the word virtues here, but virtues,  

it's, it's kinda like a synonym, right, for  values. So it's basically the things, the resume  

values, I think of those is kind of like the  values that you say you have. But then when push  

comes to shove, we'd say, when you're actually  put to the test to exhibit that value in some way,  

you, you don't, you know, you just tell  people, this is something about you,  

but you don't actually walk the talk with it.  So, for example, if someone says, oh yes, I'm,  

I'm very adventurous, but then you can never get  them to try anything new. You know, they say, you  

say, oh, let's go out for sushi. And they're like,  no, let's just have, you know, maybe some pasta or  

something more, more comfortable or something.  It's like, oh, you know, don't you say you're,  

you're trying to be more adventurous? Let's go out  and have, have something new. Have some kimchi.  

Uh. So we wanted to jump in today, uh, jumping in  today's big challenge, the big challenge that we  

want to give you all is something that's called  the funeral exercise. And actually, I don't know  

if this originally comes from there, but the first  place I heard of it was from the Seven Habits of  

Highly Affected People, a book that is very near  and dear to our hearts because it's got it's  

chock-full of important values for living a  successful or just, you know, a meaningful, happy  

life. And so he calls this the funeral exercise.  And it's a way for you to develop or even identify  

what are these eulogy virtues that you have. And  basically all you have to do, you, you can even  

like close your eyes for a moment and imagine, you  know, you're, you're walking into a church, you're  

walking into a place where a funeral is being  held, and you know, there's lots of people there,  

there's people crying. It's very somber, sort of  ambiance I could say. Uh, and, you know, you walk  

up to the casket. The casket is the, the place  where the dead person is exhibit, is exhibited.  

Sometimes you have a funeral with an open casket.  So that would be the case at this one. You walk up  

to the casket to show you respects to the person  who's passed. And to your shock, you see that  

the person inside is you. So you're at your own  funeral. And basically what you're doing in this  

exercise is you're imagining what are the, what  are the conditions that are happening here? What  

do you want people to be saying at your funeral?  What do you want people to remember about you?  

What kind of things will they say that you valued?  Or what were the contributions that you made to  

your community or to society? Um, what will they  say about your work? Who are even the people that  

you want there? You know? And, and like, you can,  you can really get down into the details and think  

of each of these person, the relationship they  had. What do you want each of these people to say  

about you? So you can go really deep with this.  It's a really powerful reflection. Uh, I've, I've  

done this myself. And, you know, once you've  done that, you'll have much clearer, like,  

what are the things actually, when push comes  to shove? Like, actually when I die, what are  

the things that I really value and I want people  to remember me for? And, you know, that gives you  

kind of a map is like, okay, I should actually be  trying to cultivate these things more. Be trying  

to exhibit them more. Be trying to live a life  more aligned with these values. We, we, we highly  

recommend you actually, you know, sit down,  grab a piece of paper and do this exercise.  

It's going to make a huge, like, possibly can  make a huge impact on your life. And if you do,  

we would love it if you just shared something that  you learned in doing this exercise with us. So  

you can, if you're just listening to the audio,  you can write us at [email protected].  

We would love to receive your email. We're really  looking forward to what kind of insights you have.  

And if you're watching on YouTube, then all you  have to do is comment below. We read every comment  

that you guys send us. So again, we're really  looking forward to hear what kind of impact  

this exercise has on y'all. And before we go, we  just wanted to wrap up by sharing some comments  

that we were really grateful for in our last  lesson. So I'll throw that over to you, Thiago. 

Allright guys, So we have some wonderful  comments here. For example, Vivian says,  

"Since I've discovered her podcast, I've  started to live my English". Miguel says,  

"You are all special in my life. Since I  started to listen to your podcast, I've  

gained a lot of confidence in myself". Finally,  Grace says, "You guys have changed the way I learn  

English forever. Thank you." (Wow.) Thank you so  much. Yeah. These are (Yeah) wonderful comments. 

We would love to see your comments too, if  you want to throw them down in the comments,  

or again, you can email them to us and maybe  we'll read it in one of our future episodes. 

And I actually have a question here from  Abigail, another follower. She wants to  

send us a voice message, but she doesn't  know how. How can she and other viewers  

and followers here send us a voice message? It's so nice that Abigail actually asked about  

that. So if you want to send us a voice  message again, the best way would be by  

email to [email protected]. You can record  this on your computer. Uh, there's obviously many  

different softwares, a free one that you could use  as Audacity if you don't have any voice recording  

software, or you can do it on your phone and then  send it to us, whatever works for you. But yeah,  

we'd love to receive your voice, your voice  note to your voice message. All right guys,  

so we really hope that you, you know, you do  some reflection a little bit about your values,  

hope that you got inspired today even on some new  values that you can cultivate or some values that  

you wanna spend more time with. And we hope that  this podcast, that we were able to have some sort  

of impact on you and inspire you to some sort of  change. It's going to help you to live a better,  

happier life or help you to help others. So thanks  so much for joining us again, and we look forward  

to seeing you on the next episode of The RealLife  English Podcast. 1, 2, 3 Aww (Aww) yeah (yeah)!