Advance Your English By Making This Simple Change

24,161 views ・ 2021-12-13

RealLife English


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

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If you're focused on your ego, if you're focused on you, then
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you're not getting the best out of the experience in terms of learning potential.
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Have you ever met that one English speaker
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that presents themselves with such an attitude of absolute certainty?
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These learners seem to know
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exactly what to say with the most eloquent words at any time.
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They never translate in their heads, and they have no problems thinking in English.
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They have an intense conviction in their English abilities
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that seem to demolish every single language obstacle in their way.
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It's almost like if there were some sort of language competition,
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they would always win.
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Maybe you've thought, Gosh, that's a confident person.
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I want to be just like that.
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Maybe you've even fantasized about the day when that would be you.
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Well, in today's lesson,
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I talk with psychology
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and English coach Charlie from Real English with Real Teachers
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and the British English Podcast about how letting go of ego
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is what learners who are actually able to advance do.
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Charlie, welcome to the show.
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Thank you very much for having me on your show, Ethan.
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All right, and before we jump into Charlie's incredible insights,
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if when you learn a language, you want to be able to understand it
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even when it is spoken fast, you want to be understood by anyone
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and actually use that language to communicate naturally with others.
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Well, this is exactly what we will help you to do here on RealLife English.
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So don't wait to join our global community, subscribe
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and hit that bell down below so that you don't miss any of our new lessons.
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So Charlie, how is it that having an inflated ego made blind someone
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from reality and from seeing their areas for improvement?
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Yesterday, I had a class in one of the students
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which was trying to use a phrase that I had defined slightly differently
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to how she had perceived it.
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And every time I kind of corrected her, she she wasn't willing
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to take it on board.
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And it may remind me of with learning Spanish.
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If I if I take a phrase and I try to use it myself
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and I've invested time in it.
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I've attached ego to it.
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I've attached self-importance because I, I think I know it.
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And when a teacher rejects it, it's again
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about whether you're attached to that or not.
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And some people are really attached to that and they can't let go.
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I sometimes can't let go, and it really slows the whole learning process down.
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Everyone is revolving around kind of pleasure seeking and
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and affirming that ego.
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And that really woke me up to the idea of every action
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I do is almost ego driven, and I can kind of detach from that
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and choose to be a bit more neutral.
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Well, truly confident people know that improvement comes slowly over time,
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and that pretending to be something
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that they are not only delays, their improvement.
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Gaining confidence is such an important part of speaking a foreign language.
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However, Charlie makes a great point of how overconfidence
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sometimes is a double edged sword that can really prevent you
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from improving your English or making progress in any substantial way
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because your ego is so inflated by a false sense of confidence.
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They don't really care what people think about them.
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That definitely makes it easier when you learn a language,
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because I mean, I'm more of the same as you.
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But I think people I've met that are like that.
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They're just able to throw themselves into the situation
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and make mistakes and have fun with it and play around and laugh at themselves.
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And I feel like for me, that's definitely been a
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a growth process, something I've had to discover in my own language.
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Learning and everything is,
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you know, it's OK, it's OK to make mistakes, and it's it's OK
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if people laugh like, figure out why they're laughing and laugh at it too.
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And all these different things that
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in a sense, it's just not taking yourself so seriously, right?
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Yeah, yeah, totally.
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Yeah, I was just thinking also the flipside of that is,
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you know, talking so much and not really
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realizing your mistakes and people
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sometimes go, go that extra distance of
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of not even appreciating their mistakes and that and therefore
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never really progressed with it.
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So I feel like, yeah, there's definitely a balance between being self-aware,
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like we might be a bit shy, but
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we also probably learn from our mistakes, but we're slower progressing.
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But then the other side would be, you know, blurting every mistake out,
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but not being mindful of what your mistakes are in the moment.
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- Yeah, I've had some students like that. - Yeah, that's great.
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If you have that because it's...
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It's a confidence just to go out there and make all the mistakes and stuff.
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But you also need to have that more sober part.
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If that is you, you need to have that more sober part that can come and have
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maybe the deliberate practice to figure out, OK,
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what are these mistakes and actually be solving them?
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So it's not just something that gets fossilized or sticks with you
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for your your entire language learning journey.
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You can listen to the full interview with tons of other English teachers
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and experts for free anywhere you enjoy listening to Podcasts.
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However, I would recommend that you listen on the RealLife English App. Why?
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Because it is the only place where you can get a transcript for the full episode
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and learn all the most important vocabulary and more.
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Plus, many learners, like you told me that they are frustrated that they don't have
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anyone to practice what they're learning with. Well, on the RealLife App.
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You can have conversations in English with people from all around the world
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at the touch of a button and discover new cultures.
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So if you are ready to step outside the classroom
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and live your English, then download the app now
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by searching for RealLife English in the Apple App or Google Play Store,
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or simply click the link up here or download in the description below.
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If, like many, you hold yourself back
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because of the fear of making mistakes, know that we teachers love them.
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I'll let Charlie explain why.
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Yeah, I'm really, really trying to push them to
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see mistake as like a faster way, as you as you just
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said, to understand the phrase, because when I'm teaching the phrase,
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I have no idea how a non-native is going to interpret a phrase
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and think, Oh, I can use it in this way.
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And that very often mapped onto a phrase
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that they've kind of thought is similar in their language, perhaps.
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And obviously, I'm going to... I'm
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not going to have that understanding until it comes up. - (Ethan) Right.
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So that mistake really helps me as a teacher,
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see how a learner is perceiving it and how they think that they could use it.
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When you get a new piece of information,
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we tend to categorize into something that we understand.
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Like we label it, we give it a box.
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We like to put things in boxes, don't we?
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And whereas in a new language, the culture has affected the language a lot
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and very often, we can't quite associate
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the grammar, the syntax, whatever it is in the language.
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It doesn't compute with our brains and we've got to stay out of our native
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brain, essentially.
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So to not be putting
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language into different boxes that we already think that we know
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is a really nice way of kind of trying to stay outside of the native brain I would say.
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Yeah, that's kind of interesting when you
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if you learn multiple languages too, you kind of see that each language
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it gives you a little bit different way of thinking
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and putting things together and whatnot.
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So it's really is
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like putting puzzle pieces together in some sense
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with each language that you learn.
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And then like when you actually speak that language,
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I think it affects your personality, obviously.
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But it also just affects maybe
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how you view things a little bit compared to when you speak your native language
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or when you speak another language. Being authentic and true to yourself
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removes the distraction of thinking you need to be like someone else,
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and it allows you to see more
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clearly the direction in which you actually want to achieve. How about you?
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Do you ever suffer from being too confident?
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How have you dealt with that? Comment it down below and discuss it with other RealLifers.
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A big mistake that learners often make in a attempt to sound more confident
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or fluent is using fancy words when they speak.
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You do not want to do this, please.
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Let's watch a sneak peak of Andrea's lesson
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on choosing the most appropriate words for each situation.
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Being fluent in English has a lot to do with the vocabulary you know.
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But part of fluency, even proficiency and competency in the language
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is also being able to make good word choices.
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Just as you wouldn't wear a suit to the beach.
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You might not want to use academic vocabulary when you're talking to a friend.
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