Do You Want to Be the BEST English Speaker? This Video is for You.

Every human happiness or sadness in life  comes from action. But it is in our actions  

where we can find that happiness (or the  contrary). That's why we do it.   

This quote comes from Aristotle's Poetics, a  book that was published in 335 a.C.

Now we can do the math on how many years have  passed since then, but this timeless idea is more  

relevant than ever today. How many  things in life put us into motion?

So why is this important? I think that since we are  little everything forces us into action.

Learning how to walk and taking your first steps, going to  school. And then, not long after that, starting your  

first job, and then your first business or project. And on and on and on it goes.

And I can't think of  any of these things that don't involve competition.

Our instincts tell us to go bigger, to do better.

To go ahead and try to come out on top of whatever  we are trying to achieve.

And who's not up for competition?

Look at these pictures and tell me if  you can't feel the power that they transmit.

But why do we feel this spirit of competition so deeply?

Why is it that our self-consciousness tells us that we need to compare ourselves to others

in order to feel good about our own growth.

And it goes without saying, English is  not an exception in this competition driven world.

Obviously, feeling the need to improve  ourselves is a positive thing.

You don't want to just spend your life lazing about on the couch.

Whether intentional or not, we as humans,  

are always learning. We are always taking  information and applying it to our own life. 

It was just so transformative in the sense  it taught me, uh, just grit.   

Really being able to dig deep, work hard, go through failure.

Work with other people.

Find mentors. I had great  

mentors. I had great coaches.

My brother  was a runner too, he's a really good runner and  

he was an important mentor. He still is.

But I had coaches who were really great leaders as well.

So, if you have ever been in a competitive  environment, like Justin was on the running team,  

you probably also noticed that it gave you a  drive that helped you to reach objectives that you  

thought were impossible.

However, this competitive  spirit is not always a positive thing.

When you start to drown in constant self-criticism it can  be paralyzing.

The voice inside your head tricks  

you into believing that those negative thoughts  define who you are,

so you can't move forward.

Every time you want to take action on something,  that negativity surfaces.

You beat yourself up.

I remember a student of mine, Pep, that was  consistently improving his english by reading  

a lot and watching tv series and movies.  

And although he understood all of it and he was

really enjoying the process, he felt that he still  needed to improve the way that he spoke the language.

Pep worked as a social media manager, so one  day he decided to make a video of himself  

speaking English about something he was truly  passionate about and posted on his Instagram.  

One day, he came to me saying that he read on  one of his comments that although he was a good  

entertainer and content creator, he shouldn't do  it in English because he didn't speak it very well.  

My advice to him was to not feel bad, because he  was improving and learning with each passing day.  

And I shared with him this wisdom from Confucius. 

I also asked  him why this comment had affected him so much.  

Pep told me that the negative comment came from  a person that he really admired, who shared his mother tongue.

I'm sure that you can empathize  with Pep, just as I did. That hearing criticism  

especially from someone you look up to, can  feel like a knife to the heart.

From that moment, Pep started to push himself and study harder than ever.

However, he also started to judge himself in  

a way that was not very healthy.

Pep's competitive  self not only wanted to succeed and speak English  

more fluently, but he also started judging those  around him that were on the same path as he was. 

He wanted to be better than all of them, and he felt  jealous of the ones that were ahead of him.  

And then, Pep started losing focus on his job. He got  so insecure about what he was putting out there,  

that the quality of his content actually declined.  He was trying way too hard to achieve perfection.

Let's take a look at the etymology behind  it. If you Google "to compete", you'll see  

that in modern English it is a synonym of  "rivalyze" and "dispute".

However, originally "compete" comes from the Latin word "competere",

which can be translated to "to aspire together".

I am competitive, but I'm also an individual who,  even though I like to compete, I also like to see  others win.

So I'm not a person that wants to win  at all costs. I'd like to win and see everyone else  win, so...

Competition is not actually about who's  the best. It shouldn't be an ego game.  

Instead, we need to go back to competition's original meaning.

That striving together brings the best  

out of each individual. And this is  especially true when learning English.  

We all need this language to survive  and thrive in a globalized world. 

So, we are all on our individual journeys to learn  it and communicate naturally and confidently.  

It should never be about who speaks the best.  

Toxic competitiveness will always happen 

to us at any stage in our lives. Comparing  ourselves to others is part of human nature.  

And on the journey to learn English, or learning  anything at all, you will definitely run into it.

So, what happened to Pep? As often happens in our  stories, he had to go through the deepest point  

in his career to realize that one of the most  important aspects of our lives is communication.  

It affects our daily routines. It affects our  moods, and more often than not, can help us  

change and deepen our perspectives.

So, you're like,  again, just trying to please other people because...  

why do we want to assume a different identity?  It's not that it's like this deep desire, it's  

not that it would be, you know, our deepest passion  or fulfilling our dream. Ultimately it's to fit in.  

Right? To not experience bias and prejudice.

So, uh, I  think that, if we want to be complete we have  

to come to peace with who we are, how we sound. And that is the secret for real freedom, the way I see it.  

Pep started reading the comments  again. And taking the criticism as an opportunity  

to improve himself by taking healthy actions,  instead of comparing himself to others and  

trying to have his journey be and feel unnatural  to what he actually needed.

Competition can bring us great motivation. 

It can be a huge drive for us  to move forward.

But it can also be painful if you 

do it in the way that Pep did.

I'm still figuring out how I can fit competition into my own life in a healthy way.

I know for one, I feel better  competing with myself, beating my own personal best, 

than trying to compete with others.

How about you?

What role does competition play in your life? 

And how does it make you feel?

It doesn't matter  what environment I'm in. If I'm confident in my  

abilities, I'm okay. And I also still have the  idea of... I want everybody to succeed.

It's not  a competition like I'm going to be better than  anybody else, no.

A lot of our competitive sides are actually driven by a deeper need for perfectionism.

So if you feel like you have ever struggled from  

perfectionism, then I highly recommend that  next you watch this lesson.

Let's check out a clip from that.

So, the connection not perfection. The way I connect to that is I never want our  

learners to feel that, right? I never want language  to get in the way of human connection.

That's what that's all about. It should always be the number  one goal. Is to maintain the connection,  

so if you make a mistake don't drop your eye contact, 

don't feel embarrassed, don't move away.

Look at the person in the eye and keep the connection  going. It's up to you at that moment whether  

you lose the connection or you keep it, right? So  we have a lot more control than we think we do.