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So men,
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It's come to this.
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War between our two schools of thought
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Years from now, they'll call this war...
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For years, linguists, grammar nerds, and pedants
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have battled over the Oxford comma
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In a series of three or more items, should there be a comma after the penultimate item?
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Or...
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Meh
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Two schools of thought: The pro Oxford Commanists.
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and the anti commas meet today to
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finally decide its fate
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The Oxford Commanists have made their arguments known
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It avoids confusion, If I say:
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Without that comma, it implies Obama and Trump are part of the gang!
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How do they not get it!?
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COMMA!
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Hah! The same tired argument!
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We get it from context!
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We know Obama and Trump aren't in a gang so it's redundant!
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NO COMMA!
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Isn't it strange that we as Americans
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Fight FOR the 'Oxford' comma
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While the British and their media fight against it
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Is it just the name "Oxford"?
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If it were called the 'Delaware comma',
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Would it have this much support?
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I guarantee you it would not!
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And so, we must fight to the death
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To decide if the Oxford Comma dies,
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Or lives on forever in all its glory!
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COMMA!
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There is a consensus on this
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That that extra comma is pedantic and prissy
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Hah! You're saying the queen is an Oxford man and a poet!
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Even with an Oxford Comma there,
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The previous coma doesn't necessarily stop the Queen from being an Oxford man
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Enough! Now we settle this!
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Prepare to die, Oxford Commanist!
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Actually, sir, I didn't agree to come and fight
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So I need to leave!
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Johnson, what is this nonsense!? You signed a contract to fight!
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Ah but no sir, If you read the contract,
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It specifically stipulates that our activities would be limited to:
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Yes, exactly. You signed a contract agreeing to be shipped to war
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and you were shipped to war.
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Congratulations, Johnson you can read
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No no no. See in that clause, it specifically states:
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"Training for combat or being shipped to war"
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I only signed up for training, not actual war!
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I'm with them on this! If you actually wanted us
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to fight in the war you should have used
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that Oxford comma to show two separate things
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Johnson I grant you that perhaps
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in contracts it's necessary to avoid confusion, but
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Let's not forget what this fight is really about
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The Oxford Comma...
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It clogs up writing!
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Enough!
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Prepare to die, Oxford Commanists!
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Wait
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What?
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You didn't put a comma between "red white and blue"
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Of course not. It seems less free!
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And America is all about freedom baby!
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What?! I'm going to say:
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Do you hear how that sounds?
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Do you HEAR how that sounds!?
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But wait!
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If I can make an exception,
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and you can make an exception,
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Why can't we all just get along?!
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Co-exist in this grammatical whirlwind of a language
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I guess we could just use it when it improves clarity
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And perhaps we should use it to avoid confusion
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particularly in contracts
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And not be dicks about it
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Yes. Exactly.
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After all it is just one comma
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I love you
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I love you,
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I love you, friend
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I love you too, bud.
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