Use "BAD English" to sound ADVANCED and NATURAL?! - Conditionals

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So, I've been thinking about how I teach

and how I see other teachers teach,

both in real classrooms and online.

And I realized something.

Everyone, including me, teaches conditionals all wrong.

(light music)

If you studied or taught English,

then chances are you've probably seen a textbook

like one of these.

Actually, I really like "New English File".

It's the teacher's favorite.

But, they have a problem, as do all textbooks,

as do all teachers.

And that problem is that it's too prescriptive.

Now, what I'm talking about is prescriptive grammar

versus descriptive grammar.

Basically, basically prescriptive grammar,

that is focused on traditional grammar rules.

Those don't change.

And if you change something in that grammar structure,

you're a bad person and you're rubbish at English.

Descriptive grammar, however,

that teaches how we really talk.

Yes, there are rules, but we know how to bend those rules.

And that's what I want all ESL teachers to change.

Teach real English and not just the rules.

Because when you do that, English students go

to an English-speaking country and they feel really bad

about their English

because they're like, "I don't understand anyone.

Is my English that bad or is everyone speaking wrong?

Must be me. I must be stupid."

In this video, I've got great news for you.

Your English is fine and you're brilliant.

But, this is the problem.

All teachers, myself included, we tend to follow

the rules a bit too strictly.

Now as a beginner in English, that's good.

You need to learn context.

You need to learn how grammar works

to explain context and time references.

But, as you get more advanced,

you learn how to break those rules.

Most of the time, especially for online teachers,

we tend to follow the rules a bit too strictly.

Why?

Because some idiot in the comments is gonna be like,

"Um actually, the grammar rule is this

and you're teaching teaching students how

to speak wrong, wrongly.

Wait, (beep)."

If you're a teacher, don't listen to your YouTube comments,

ever.

If you're a student, don't listen to YouTube comments

for grammar tips.

Very rarely are they correct.

But for now though,

I want to show you how we can update teaching.

Let me show you.

(air whooshing)

I started this video

by saying I've been teaching conditionals all wrong.

Well, probably everyone has and this is why.

You've learned there are four conditionals, right?

So, we've got zero which describes things

which are always true.

If this happens, then this happens.

It's useful for giving information,

talking about science, that kind of thing.

For example.

I don't know if you've heard this one.

But if you play Led Zeppelin backwards,

you can hear the devil.

I know, it sounds ridiculous.

Unbelievable, right?

But, then I tried it.

(record playing backwards)

♪ I'm gonna eat your soul ♪

The grammar for this, we've got if with a present tense verb

and a present tense verb for the result.

So, if this happens this happens, always.

Again, really good for information or scientific facts.

Then, there's the first conditional and that's like this.

So, something realistic happens in the future.

This is good for warnings, for example.

If you keep making that noise, I'm gonna break up with you.

Grammatically, we have if with a present tense verb.

And the result is future, so we use future tense.

So, I'm gonna, I'm going to, or I will, I'll,

whichever your preference is, it doesn't matter.

And again, it's for a future,

it really can or will happen.

Usually for warnings, threats,

promises, you know, real things.

But, if we need to use our imagination

for something that's not real, impossible,

or just imaginary, you know, we're talking hypothetically.

What if maybe this thing?

Then, we need to use second conditional.

If I were you, I'd break up with him.

This is the second conditional, if with a past tense verb.

We're talking in the future or now,

but that verb should be in the past tense.

Why?

Because we're imagining.

So, you see if and a past tense verb,

just know it's an imaginary situation.

But, if you want to be completely sure

if this situation is just imaginary,

you just have to look for that magic word, would.

This means, well, the situation isn't real,

I'm just imagining it.

You know, like if I had £1 million, I would buy a,

what would I buy, snacks.

I'd spend £1 million on snacks.

So yeah, you can abbreviate that to I'd, that's fine.

You can also use could if you want

to stress the possibility that that situation brings.

So remember that yes, the verb is past

but the situation is present or future.

If we need to talk about a different past,

an imaginary past, then we need the third conditional,

and that's this.

If I hadn't met you, I wouldn't have fallen in love.

Now, we are imagining a different past,

a past that didn't happen.

So for this, we need the if, again, and a had, or a hadn't

for a negative, with the verb three, or past participle.

And what is the result of that?

How does that different past affect the past?

Well, I wouldn't have a verb three, or past participle.

Those are the structures of the conditions,

zero, one, two, and three here.

So, we know how a different past,

if I hadn't met you, would create a different past.

I wouldn't have fallen in love in the past.

But, let's say he wants to say, if I hadn't met you,

right now I'm not in love.

How can he say that?

Well, you already know

because it's from the second conditional grammar.

So, let's mix them and create this.

I wouldn't be in love.

Now, we're just using would or wouldn't with the infinitive,

the base verb, verb one.

That creates a mixed conditional,

how a different past affects an imaginary present.

Try your own mixed conditionals

or any conditionals that you don't feel confident with

in the comments.

I'll try and correct you.

And these are the grammar rules, right?

Your teacher taught them. I've just taught them to you.

And if you change anything of these in a test,

you're a bad person and you fail at life.

I'm kidding.

I've got great news for you.

The rules here are flexible, very flexible.

For example, now probably I'm never going

to give you £1 million.

But what if I did?

A classic second conditional sentence that you learned

in your English class.

If I gave you £1 million, what would you do?

We've got the obvious if with a past tense verb,

then word and an infinitive.

That's fine and that is what you should write

in your English grammar tests.

But, in real life situations, in real English conversations,

you might hear this.

If you give me a million, I'm buying a yacht.

I've never understood the fascination with yachts.

I've never been on one. I'm sure they're great.

But anyway, surely this is wrong, right?

I mean, if you give me a million.

That's not likely, that's not gonna happen,

that's not real.

But, why are you using first conditional grammar here?

Shouldn't it be second?

Well yeah, in traditional grammar, yes.

However, that's not necessarily how we speak.

Most importantly from this video,

I want you to know that traditional grammar rules

are a guide, you know?

They should help you explain yourself better,

tell a story with more clear time references,

and all that stuff, and help you understand

when people talk.

Oh, you're talking about yesterday?

Cool, I understood that because grammar.

But, grammar is not a law.

If anyone tells you that you're stupid

or you've got bad English

because you didn't stick to the traditional grammar rules,

but yet they still understood you,

then you should make fun of their haircut.

Make them cry.

So if you say this, people will understand you.

No one will think that you're stupid

or that your English is bad.

This is fine. This is how we speak.

You're fine. Don't worry.

Because as another example.

Aly, are you tired? You look tired.

This is just my normal face.

Well, you wouldn't look tired

if you just slept early last night.

Now, this is talking about last night,

a different past.

So, shouldn't this be past perfect, if you had slept?

And that one, that one's okay.

You wouldn't look tired now.

There's no problem with that.

If you wrote this in an exam, you would fail.

But, in real conversations people change the second

and third conditional grammar,

I don't know what I'm doing with this, all the time.

Yes, you're talking about an imaginary past situation,

and that should be past perfect.

But if you just use past simple, no one will care

in real conversation.

In an English grammar test, people will absolutely care.

You'll fail there.

And this is the point I want to make with this video.

Prescriptive grammar is bad for students,

great for tests, bad for real life situations.

In textbooks and tests, there's only one correct answer.

Anything else is a fail.

But in real life, in real conversations,

we bend the rules all the time.

Please know that conversation is way more important

than tests.

Unless you, you know, need a Visa, uni entry,

or what's the other thing, a job.

Then, that one's more important.

Okay, maybe I've been too general.

You can't just break all the rules

because the sentence needs to make sense

and you need to understand each other.

So, there are some rules that we still follow.

but don't worry because they're very easy.

For example, she broke up with him.

But, he wants to say,

"To be honest, it was going to end anyway."

So, he says this.

If you didn't break up with me,

I would've broken up with you.

A textbook would say this is wrong.

Your test would say this is wrong.

But in a real conversation,

people speak like this all the time and no one cares.

That's the important thing.

Basically, basically any type of past sentence here

with if and the would've with a verb three

or past participle, everyone knows you're talking

about an imaginary past situation.

That's fine.

No one's gonna correct that.

However, and the more strict rule, would be this.

The main two rules to follow

with conditionals are make sure the time reference is right

and not confusing.

So if you're talking about a past situation,

make sure you have a past sentence.

So, not don't break, use didn't break, or hadn't broken.

Those two are acceptable in conversation.

Like I said before, any past and past,

we all understand that you're talking

about something in the past.

And secondly, breaking the structure of rules.

So, would broken,

you know that a modal verb needs an infinitive, verb one.

So, when you put would with a verb three, broken,

that just sounds weird to the ear.

So that one, yes, people will correct you on that.

But this one, probably no.

And in the future, I want to make more videos like this,

you know, how English teaching should be not how it is.

I think that it's already so outdated

and we need to change some of our methods.

That's the future of English teaching.

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So, this is why, yeah, it's good to learn the basics

of traditional grammar, because when you do

then you know how to break and bend those rules

to explain things better and more naturally.

So, I want you to try playing around

with conditional sentences in the comments.

I'll try to reply to as many as possible.

And I'll see you in the next class.

(light music)