Criticise POLITELY without being RUDE | Polite English Criticism Phrases

287,270 views ・ 2019-12-04

English with Lucy


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

00:01
(upbeat music)
0
1882
2583
00:10
- Hello everyone, and welcome back to English with Lucy.
1
10221
3789
00:14
Today we are going to talk about
2
14010
1970
00:15
alternatives for one of the most hated phrases
3
15980
5000
00:20
in the English language.
4
20980
1780
00:22
No offence.
5
22760
2940
00:25
Is there a more offensive phrase than no offence?
6
25700
3940
00:29
When somebody says no offence,
7
29640
2170
00:31
but you know they're going to follow that
8
31810
2880
00:34
with something offensive.
9
34690
1250
00:35
It's just the way people are.
10
35940
2090
00:38
So I have 11 alternatives for you
11
38030
3340
00:41
that you can use to give criticism politely.
12
41370
4850
00:46
So this video is perfect for improving your vocabulary,
13
46220
3610
00:49
but if you want to improve your listening skills
14
49830
2000
00:51
and your pronunciation skills even further,
15
51830
2870
00:54
then I highly recommend the special method
16
54700
2560
00:57
of reading a book whilst listening
17
57260
2640
00:59
to the audiobook version on Audible.
18
59900
2750
01:02
It sounds a bit odd, but let me explain.
19
62650
2320
01:04
It's a really good method.
20
64970
1720
01:06
Take a book that you have already read in English
21
66690
2730
01:09
or a book that you would like to read in English and read it
22
69420
3930
01:13
whilst listening to the audiobook version on Audible.
23
73350
4240
01:17
Reading alone will not help you with your pronunciation.
24
77590
3450
01:21
The way a word is spelled in English
25
81040
2370
01:23
doesn't necessarily give you much information
26
83410
2640
01:26
as to how it's pronounced in English.
27
86050
2760
01:28
If you listen to a word as you read it,
28
88810
3410
01:32
your brain will start making connections
29
92220
2900
01:35
and the next time you see that word written down,
30
95120
2380
01:37
you'll know exactly how to say it, how it's meant to sound,
31
97500
3030
01:40
the pronunciation and the next time you hear that word
32
100530
3570
01:44
you'll know exactly how it should be spelled.
33
104100
3340
01:47
You're combining two skills
34
107440
2260
01:49
but developing all of your skills.
35
109700
2510
01:52
It's such an effective method
36
112210
1800
01:54
and the best part is you can get one free audiobook,
37
114010
3900
01:57
that's a 30 day free trial on Audible.
38
117910
2720
02:00
All you've got to do is click on the link
39
120630
1820
02:02
in the description box and sign up.
40
122450
2310
02:04
Then you can download one of my many recommendations
41
124760
2630
02:07
which are also in the description box.
42
127390
2210
02:09
Give it a try.
43
129600
850
02:10
It really works.
44
130450
1430
02:11
Right, number one is with respect
45
131880
3790
02:15
or with all due respect.
46
135670
2460
02:18
With all due respect, that's slightly more formal.
47
138130
3370
02:21
This is something you can add
48
141500
2370
02:23
before you are going to say something that could
49
143870
2830
02:26
potentially cause offence.
50
146700
2770
02:29
You're showing the listener that you're not trying
51
149470
1840
02:31
to be disrespectful.
52
151310
1320
02:32
You're saying it in a respectful way.
53
152630
2770
02:35
An example, with all due respect,
54
155400
2580
02:37
I really don't think it's appropriate
55
157980
2310
02:40
to wear a white dress as a wedding guest.
56
160290
2950
02:43
Is this a thing in your country and culture?
57
163240
2280
02:45
I know not all cultures have white wedding dresses,
58
165520
3250
02:48
we do here in the UK
59
168770
1570
02:50
and it is extremely frowned upon to wear white
60
170340
3830
02:54
to someone's wedding.
61
174170
1560
02:55
And I went to a wedding last summer
62
175730
1520
02:57
and there was a woman in a long white dress
63
177250
2660
02:59
and I was appalled, I tell you.
64
179910
2360
03:02
Did I say anything about it to her?
65
182270
1770
03:04
No I didn't because I'm British.
66
184040
1900
03:05
Did I silently judge her?
67
185940
1480
03:07
Of course, I did because I'm British.
68
187420
3020
03:10
Number two is I'm going to be very honest with you
69
190440
3520
03:13
or I'm gonna be honest with you.
70
193960
2030
03:15
If you want to be a bit more informal
71
195990
2120
03:18
and speak using slang terms like gonna.
72
198110
3380
03:21
This is something you can say again
73
201490
2490
03:23
before you say something that could be offensive.
74
203980
3340
03:27
You are preparing the listener for the criticism
75
207320
3760
03:31
that is going to come next.
76
211080
2020
03:33
An example, I'm going to be very honest with you,
77
213100
3150
03:36
I wasn't happy with how you behaved in my party.
78
216250
3480
03:39
Now, this was said in all English speaking countries,
79
219730
2630
03:42
but especially in Britain
80
222360
1790
03:44
because we do have a habit of not being honest.
81
224150
3340
03:47
The example I gave before
82
227490
1480
03:48
of how I didn't tell the woman
83
228970
1460
03:50
that she shouldn't have worn white.
84
230430
1820
03:52
Well, that's pretty common behaviour.
85
232250
2330
03:54
We don't necessarily say things.
86
234580
1910
03:56
We like to avoid confrontation,
87
236490
2560
03:59
so for us, if we are going to confront someone,
88
239050
2260
04:01
it's a big deal and we need to prepare them.
89
241310
2710
04:04
I'm going to be honest with you.
90
244020
1930
04:05
That brings me onto my next one.
91
245950
1560
04:07
Number three, let's be frank.
92
247510
2590
04:10
Let's be frank.
93
250100
1860
04:11
To be frank is to be honest and direct.
94
251960
3480
04:15
If somebody is a frank person
95
255440
2120
04:17
then they are very to the point,
96
257560
1850
04:19
this means pretty much the same thing,
97
259410
1960
04:21
but it kind of opens the opportunity
98
261370
2420
04:23
to have an honest conversation.
99
263790
2150
04:25
Let's be honest with one another.
100
265940
1690
04:27
Let's have an honest conversation.
101
267630
2390
04:30
It's not me saying, I'm going to be honest with you,
102
270020
3280
04:33
it's saying, let's be frank,
103
273300
1740
04:35
let's be honest with each other.
104
275040
1570
04:36
An example, let's be frank.
105
276610
2300
04:38
You haven't excelled in your exams this year.
106
278910
2853
04:43
Number four is a very, very common one
107
283010
2590
04:45
and it's actually considered more slang in the UK.
108
285600
3940
04:49
It's actually a phrase that I think
109
289540
1670
04:51
a lot of people might think is overused
110
291210
2730
04:53
or becoming overused.
111
293940
2010
04:55
It is, I'm not going to lie
112
295950
2740
04:58
or now just shortened down to, not gonna lie, (chuckles)
113
298690
3630
05:02
not gonna lie.
114
302320
1050
05:03
And you say it before you're about to criticise someone
115
303370
4200
05:07
or something, or maybe when you're gonna give
116
307570
2910
05:10
a really honest, negative opinion about someone,
117
310480
4060
05:14
not gonna lie, your singing wasn't great.
118
314540
2940
05:17
Not gonna lie, her top was the ugliest top
119
317480
2610
05:20
I've ever seen in my life.
120
320090
1920
05:22
My God, that's so, so mean.
121
322010
2700
05:24
(laughing)
122
324710
1080
05:25
But it's one that is thrown around a lot.
123
325790
2160
05:27
It is used a lot and it can be very confusing
124
327950
4390
05:32
because you might think, well, of course you shouldn't lie.
125
332340
3790
05:36
Why would you lie?
126
336130
1350
05:37
It's just a phrase.
127
337480
1380
05:38
Now, number five,
128
338860
1660
05:40
sometimes you do just want to say, no offence,
129
340520
3700
05:44
but we can say it in a much
130
344220
3260
05:47
more formal way.
131
347480
1980
05:49
We could say, I don't mean to offend,
132
349460
2630
05:52
but, or I don't mean to offend you,
133
352090
2620
05:54
but, this sounds a little bit nicer.
134
354710
2520
05:57
Sometimes you just can't escape using no offence. (chuckles)
135
357230
4660
06:01
We can also say, without meaning to offend you
136
361890
3750
06:05
or without meaning to offend.
137
365640
2310
06:07
An example, without meaning to offend you,
138
367950
2540
06:10
your work hasn't been up to scratch recently.
139
370490
3030
06:13
Up to scratch means up to the standard.
140
373520
2333
06:17
Number six is another slang one.
141
377360
3260
06:20
It's very commonly used.
142
380620
1760
06:22
It's, don't get me wrong.
143
382380
2170
06:24
Don't get me wrong,
144
384550
1620
06:26
and we're using get here as in receive.
145
386170
3660
06:29
I've got a video all about the many uses of get.
146
389830
2760
06:32
There are a lot, I warn you,
147
392590
1870
06:34
but we're saying, don't receive me in the wrong way.
148
394460
2200
06:36
Don't interpret what I'm saying in the wrong way.
149
396660
2750
06:39
It basically means don't misunderstand me.
150
399410
3190
06:42
An example, don't get me wrong,
151
402600
1910
06:44
but I think we need to have a chat about the incident.
152
404510
2740
06:47
You wouldn't really use this in a formal situation.
153
407250
2500
06:49
This is more between friends and acquaintances.
154
409750
2780
06:52
Number seven is a nice phrase that you can say
155
412530
3870
06:56
instead of, I've been watching you
156
416400
2390
06:58
and I've seen that you've done something wrong.
157
418790
2580
07:01
If you want to of course, express
158
421370
1580
07:02
that you have been watching someone
159
422950
1420
07:04
and they have been doing something wrong,
160
424370
2040
07:06
you can say, I've noticed that.
161
426410
2710
07:09
I've noticed that,
162
429120
1190
07:10
this is something that's said a lot in offices.
163
430310
2930
07:13
I've noticed that you've been spending
164
433240
1540
07:14
a lot of time by the water cooler
165
434780
2480
07:17
or I've noticed that you aren't always
166
437260
2360
07:19
reaching your deadlines.
167
439620
2040
07:21
It's a nice way of saying,
168
441660
1200
07:22
I've been observing you and you're not doing anything right.
169
442860
3510
07:26
Number eight, a way of saying you're doing
170
446370
3410
07:29
lots of things wrong
171
449780
1260
07:31
and you're really not performing as you should.
172
451040
2220
07:33
You could say, there's room for improvement,
173
453260
3380
07:36
there's room for improvement.
174
456640
2220
07:38
You're doing okay,
175
458860
1290
07:40
but there's still a little room for improvement.
176
460150
3520
07:43
An example, I appreciate how hard you've worked,
177
463670
4310
07:47
but there still is room for improvement here.
178
467980
3160
07:51
Now, number nine,
179
471140
1950
07:53
is using a conditional to express criticism.
180
473090
4090
07:57
It is this lovely phrase, if you can learn it
181
477180
2430
07:59
and use it as a set phrase, that's fantastic.
182
479610
2670
08:02
If I were you, I would,
183
482280
2650
08:04
and then the advice, what you would do.
184
484930
1960
08:06
Instead of saying you should do this,
185
486890
1400
08:08
which people don't necessarily like.
186
488290
1890
08:10
If I were you, I would do it this way.
187
490180
2320
08:12
Oh, people love that.
188
492500
1770
08:14
An example, if I were you,
189
494270
2100
08:16
I would look at implementing a different strategy.
190
496370
4040
08:20
Translates roughly as change your strategy. (chuckles)
191
500410
3230
08:23
Number 10 what about a nice rhetorical question
192
503640
3450
08:27
to set off some criticism?
193
507090
1820
08:28
Oh, I love them.
194
508910
1240
08:30
If you want to give someone some constructive criticism,
195
510150
3650
08:33
you could say, believe it or not,
196
513800
2130
08:35
could I offer you a bit of constructive criticism?
197
515930
3110
08:39
They can't exactly say no, can they?
198
519040
1710
08:40
Especially if you're their boss. (laughing)
199
520750
2750
08:43
An example, can I offer you a little constructive criticism?
200
523500
4930
08:48
Try using a spellchecker
201
528430
1920
08:50
before handing in your assignment. (chuckles)
202
530350
3170
08:53
Now, number 11, is something that we actually
203
533520
3290
08:56
add to the end of sentences
204
536810
2900
08:59
to emphasise them a little bit.
205
539710
2070
09:01
In English, especially in British English,
206
541780
2310
09:04
we have the habit,
207
544090
1660
09:05
a huge habit of reducing everything,
208
545750
3960
09:09
trying to make things seem not quite as important
209
549710
3280
09:12
or profound as they actually are.
210
552990
2720
09:15
For example, if you gave me the most disgusting
211
555710
3240
09:18
cup of tea ever, I would say,
212
558950
2510
09:21
oh, well, it's not the worst tea I've ever had,
213
561460
2680
09:24
or oh yes, I think I could get used to it.
214
564140
3940
09:28
It's a real issue, and we often use this technique
215
568080
3080
09:31
whilst delivering criticism,
216
571160
1690
09:32
but if you decide that you actually do want the receiver
217
572850
3540
09:36
of the criticism to realise how badly they've performed,
218
576390
4480
09:40
you can add to say the least onto the end.
219
580870
3690
09:44
I think you could have done better, to say the least.
220
584560
3120
09:47
Or to put it mildly,
221
587680
2010
09:49
you don't smell great, to put it mildly.
222
589690
3400
09:53
Both of these are used to suggest that something
223
593090
2350
09:55
is far worse or more extreme than you are saying.
224
595440
3220
09:58
It does make the English language quite complex
225
598660
3070
10:01
because we don't actually say what we mean,
226
601730
2910
10:04
but don't shoot the messenger.
227
604640
1290
10:05
I'm just trying to help out. (laughing)
228
605930
2120
10:08
An example, you behaved in appropriately
229
608050
3580
10:11
at the staff party, to say the least.
230
611630
2683
10:15
And number 12, this one is used in the middle
231
615210
3370
10:18
of a criticising sentence,
232
618580
3000
10:21
and this one actually is quite different
233
621580
2080
10:23
to the previous one.
234
623660
1160
10:24
This one is used to make a statement
235
624820
2030
10:26
or criticism appear less severe or offensive.
236
626850
3970
10:30
It is, shall we say.
237
630820
2750
10:33
Shall we say.
238
633570
1190
10:34
An example, your report was, shall we say, a little lacking.
239
634760
5000
10:40
It's almost like, how do I put this?
240
640570
2230
10:42
How can I choose a non-offensive term
241
642800
3210
10:46
to describe the monstrosity
242
646010
2290
10:48
with which I have been presented?
243
648300
3060
10:51
Your report was, shall we say, a little lacking,
244
651360
3160
10:54
or your reaction was, shall we say, a little over the top,
245
654520
4640
10:59
meaning your reaction was completely
246
659160
2590
11:01
and utterly over the top right. (laughing)
247
661750
2840
11:04
Right, that's it for today's lesson,
248
664590
2000
11:06
how to say offensive things
249
666590
2010
11:08
and give criticism without causing offence
250
668600
3560
11:12
in a polite, or at least British manner.
251
672160
3230
11:15
Don't forget to check out Audible.
252
675390
1640
11:17
You can claim your free audiobook.
253
677030
1850
11:18
I've got loads of recommendations
254
678880
1800
11:20
down in the description box,
255
680680
1200
11:21
and the link to claim your book is there too.
256
681880
2890
11:24
Don't forget to connect with me on all of my social media.
257
684770
2380
11:27
I've got my Facebook, my Instagram, my Twitter,
258
687150
3380
11:30
and my new, kind of new personal channel,
259
690530
3560
11:34
my Lucy Bella Earl channel where I talk about
260
694090
1950
11:36
everything that isn't English, lifestyle, et cetera.
261
696040
3480
11:39
I will see you soon for another lesson.
262
699520
1950
11:42
(upbeat music)
263
702556
2583
About this website

This site will introduce you to YouTube videos that are useful for learning English. You will see English lessons taught by top-notch teachers from around the world. Double-click on the English subtitles displayed on each video page to play the video from there. The subtitles scroll in sync with the video playback. If you have any comments or requests, please contact us using this contact form.

https://forms.gle/WvT1wiN1qDtmnspy7