Dating and Relationships | Advanced English Listening And Vocabulary | Say It Like A Native

Hello, and welcome back.

We are going to get into a bunch of great expressions about relationships and sex and

biological things having to do with all of this, uh, in this Fluency Corner lesson.

Now, I'm going to be talking, uh, about a couple of things here.

One of those is the social expressions.

Uh, and then we'll also have more biological words as well.

Uh, but one common theme for both of these things is the euphemism.

And this is something, if you've not heard of this before, a euphemism is just a way

of saying something that if you said it directly like, sex, like, if I say that to some people,

whoa!

They would, they, like, people would, you know, they would blush.

Like, their, their cheeks would get rosy.

You wouldn't, you know, say that, maybe, while you're out just, you know, aft, after, uh,

a meal with your family or something like that.

Uh, so we use a euphemism where we're talking about that.

So, a euphemism for sex could be, let's see, there are lots of them.

Uh, like, a very, like, a very, like, bad euphemism, like, one that's, like, it's kind

of funny, like, hide the sausage.

Now, it's funny, like, now I'm gonna blush over here.

But this is a, kind of a crude, uh, like, a, like, a, not very, like, subtle, uh, idea.

But a euphemism for something again, we're trying to take something that might sound

impolite or be, uh, blunt.

And again, blunt meaning, like, we say something, and people are maybe a little bit offended

by that.

So, we think of a better way, a euphemism, by which to explain that thing.

So, I'll cover a lot more of those.

I just wanted to give you an example because when we talk about, uh, not only the, the

different social phrases that we're using or phrases that are describing, uh, kind of

the social interactions between people, but also the biological processes, uh, that people

have.

So, the biological things that go on with your body.

Uh, an interesting way to think about this, like a doctor would use more of these blunt

terms.

Like, he would talk about, we'll kind of talk about it more when I get to that.

Uh, but the terms that a doctor would use, most people would use a euphemism for those

things in regular casual conversations.

So, if you can learn those things, and I'll help you learn a lot of them in this video,

then you're going to become a much more confident speaker.

You also understand a lot more as well.

So, let's get into it.

We'll begin with a lot of the social expressions, and then we'll move on to the biological ones

to end the video.

First, we've got a lot of different expressions that can describe touching someone.

And I’ll, again, like, this is the interesting thing about the language.

Where you begin with, it's the same idea about a tree where we have one idea, touch, where

you're connecting skin to skin or maybe you're touching someone even on their shirt or their

dress or something like that.

Uh, this is the basic term here, to touch someone.

But then we can move into a lot more different meanings or more subtle or more specific things

depending on what kind of idea we want to express.

So, the first one here, we'll just cover because it's one of the first that appears in the

conversation, is to grope someone.

To grope.

Now, grope usually has an idea of touching someone, but not in a very gentle way.

Uh, not in a very confident way either, uh, and this is, uh, a problem.

So, we, you'll hear us talking about this, uh, in the conversation where even in Japan

now, so a lot of people, especially in very busy cities like Tokyo, uh, people will have,

uh, or there will be separate trains just for women so that they're not groped.

Like, you know, men are trying to reach out and, uh, touch these women while they're on

the train.

So, it was such a problem that they needed to have their own train.

Uh, you know, not, not all women ride on this, and it's not all times of the day, I believe.

Uh, but particularly busy times when, when you have lots of people really crammed into

the train.

Uh, you have to be careful because, you know, you could get touched by someone else.

It might be accidental, or you're really getting groped where someone's like really grabbing

you, something like that.

So, it could be grabbing your leg or some other, uh, more sexual body part or something

like that.

But grope is the word that we use for that, uh, even not in a sexual situation where you're

talking about groping around in the dark for something.

Like, I’m, I, like, I can't, I'm not expressing my zerf, I'm not expressing myself well.

You can see even right now, uh, uh, uh, uh.

I can't really speak.

I'm groping, groping for the right word to say.

So, it means I'm not doing it in a skillful way, a way that's impressive to people.

I'm doing it in a, like, I'm fumbling around with my language.

Uh, I'm groping for something to say.

So, all these different ideas come from this.

And again, like, this idea of touching something, but if we're doing it in kind of a bad way,

a negative way, something that's maybe, uh, offensive to someone else.

So, if I'm groping a woman, you know, she probably doesn't want me to be doing that.

I'm not doing, I'm not like, uh, touching her gently.

So, if I want to touch her gently, maybe we would call that a caress.

So, if I'm caressing someone, or I'm massaging something.

These are different ways of touching.

Again, it's that same idea, but you're getting more specific for that kind of thing about

the language.

So, what's the feeling of it?

What's the pressure of the touch?

Is the other person, uh, happy about that or not happy about that, in the case of groping.

Uh, so in the case of groping, typically not.

Now, one more thing here, just this same kind of idea about touching someone.

Maybe you accidentally touch something, uh, or touched someone.

You don't mean to do it.

Like, I turn around and maybe I, with my elbow, I hit, you know, some woman in the chest area

or something.

So, I graze someone.

So, this just means to touch someone just kind of lightly like this.

I'm not groping, not, oh my God, groping someone like this.

Just, just gently touching, gently grazing, something like that.

And again, this idea of touching just like groping for words, means you're not doing

it in a skillful way.

When you graze something, like, if I shoot a bullet and it grazes the person, it just

means, like, the bullet, you know, just went kind of…

It went, like, right by me.

It kind of barely touched me but didn't hit me directly.

So, that's to graze something or someone.

Next, we've got a couple of words and expressions having to do with making a connection for

the first time.

Now, this is typically when you're talking about a social situation.

Like a classic example is just going out to a bar.

Although, as the young ladies were explaining to me, this is not something that happens

as much now because a lot of people are using online dating tools.

And people are almost forgetting how to go out and, you know, walk up to a man or a woman

and approach somebody.

Uh, but in these examples, we're talking about hitting on someone.

To hit on someone, this is a really great phrasal verb, very common.

And this is used for talking about beginning a conversation with someone, usually because

you like the person.

You, even if you don't know anything about them, you find them physically attractive

in some way.

So, you're going to approach that person.

So, you're talking about going on an approach, or approaching someone, uh, to hit on that

person.

Now, you can hit on someone.

You can also, you also hear, uh, chat someone up.

This is a little bit more of a British English expression.

Uh, but you will hear that, like, I was chatting up some girl at a bar.

But typically, like, hitting on, uh, is a more common American English, the United States

expression, uh, that you will hear.

Also, I hear from some people sometimes about my use of the word America.

Now, when I say America, I know there are many countries.

You know, we have North America and South America.

But American, like, people who live in the United States, will often just shorten the

name, uh, United States of America to America because it's the only country with the name

of America actually in it.

So, many countries are in North America and South America, but the United States just

uses this.

And that's just why people typically call it, uh, America.

So, it's not meant to be offensive to anybody from a particular country.

It's just really what we say, and this is why it comes out of my mouth naturally.

When you're learning a language in this way, uh, again, it's best to think about it like

a scientist.

To not be worried about, you know, having to express it in a certain way.

Or that, like, okay, my, like, you know, Mexico is also in Central America.

So, we're Americans too.

Like, yes, I understand.

Lots of people are in the, you know, the continents of united, or continents of North America

and South America.

Uh, many countries are within these two continents as well, but casually and conversationally,

uh, people in the United States just refer to themselves as Americans because United

States of America is what we have in the name.

Now, getting back to what I was talking about, uh, so you get on to the approach.

So, you're approaching someone, and this is where flirting begins.

And again, we have a ‘t’ in there, flirting, but it becomes more of a ‘d’ sound.

Flirting with someone.

So, to flirt with someone means I say something.

I’m maybe teasing someone a little bit, or I say, “Oh, you…

That's a really nice jacket,” or something.

You know, I'm just using a way to, uh, what we call in English to break the ice.

So, to maybe, you know, the first time you're making a, a connection with someone, you have,

uh, you have to break that barrier there.

There's maybe trust that you have to think about, uh, and you have to warm up that relationship.

So, these are all, you know, physical ideas we talk about.

Uh, but there's a barrier there because people are naturally a little bit wary about meeting

new people.

So, you have to, you know, approach someone and be confident.

And there are actually a lot of things that are quite difficult to do, especially for

young men.

I remember they were difficult for me.

Um, I don't really do them anymore now because I'm married.

But, uh, it was fun to talk about these different things.

So, when you're flirting with someone, uh, we also talk about, you know, which, which

person does the approach.

So, like, if a woman looks at a man in a bar, and then it's his job then to walk over.

Or, does the woman walk over and initiate the conversation, and we talk about this as

making the first move.

So, who makes the first move in a situation like that?

Does a man approach and then make that, you know, make the first move to, to try to talk

to, talk to the woman?

To approach, to flirt with her, to initiate that, or does the woman?

Next, in the conversation, you'll also hear us talking about gender roles, traditional

gender roles.

Uh, and so, this is things where we're talking about what's traditionally masculine or what's

traditionally feminine.

And I mentioned in the, uh, in the Phrase Builder lesson, talking about, uh, like, the

kind of different…

What's the way to best describe it?

So, in the, in the Phrase Builder lesson, I was talking about like liberal and conservative.

And these are, uh, kind of the same ideas about like masculine and feminine where there

are traditional ways of thinking about it.

And it's really just traditional because it's the way it's been done for a long time.

So, it doesn't necessarily mean it's better, or one is good, or one is worse than the other.

But again, it's how people think about those.

And then, uh, we all kind of have these rules for our lives that we live by.

And so, if it's a traditional one, maybe you, you are more traditional and more conservative.

Uh, and then if you're more, uh, feminine, or not feminine, but if you're more liberal,

uh, maybe you have kind of new or more modern ideas about how men and women should treat

each other.

So, I was talking to the, the young women in the conversation just because it was an

interesting thing to hear their perspective.

Now, I, I didn't have a young man from America or some other place with me to, to, to kind

of talk with them also, um, because I don't really know much about how the culture is

changing for young people who are dating in the United States now.

Or even, uh, other countries like the united, like the United Kingdom or Australia or Canada.

Uh, but I get the impression just from news and, uh, like, a lot of…

With a lot of people talking more about the equality of men and women and, and talking

about women's rights and making sure men and women are equal.

Uh, it's making it a bit more different, or difficult, for people to express kind of different

gender roles.

Uh, if you have those kinds of values.

So, again, it's not about if it's correct or not to, like, to look at, like, should

a woman traditionally do this or should a man traditionally do that.

But in, like, the social climate now it's changing, uh, to try to bring more equality

into the, the situation.

But it's also bringing a bit more confusion, uh, from what I hear.

Next, we've got nightlife.

Now, nightlife can be talking, I think in the conversation, uh, it was used more talking

about like romantic kind of things like relationships and the kinds of activities that happen at

night.

You see I’m, I'm speaking in euphemisms right here, so I'm not saying sex or something

like that.

Uh, but you can also talk about nightlife as the general, like, going out in the evening

and parties and things like that, that younger people do when they're going out and being

social and, you know, connecting with one another.

So, you can talk about what's the nightlife like in a city.

Uh, and it's really just talking about more like, not sex specifically, it's just more

talking about, can you go to the theater, or are there good restaurants open, that kind

of thing.

The nightlife.

Next, a really great expression, this is another phrasal verb, two of them actually.

This is to turn on and turn off.

Now, casually and conversationally, and you'll hear, you'll even hear me give a lesson about

phrasal verbs in the conversation, uh, to the young women.

But I was talking about the, the idea of where phrasal verbs come from.

And it's really interesting that we have, uh, you know, and, like, an old television

set where you turn it on or turn it off.

And this is where we get that idea of turning something in order to activate a switch, to

add power to something.

Even though now we push a button or slide a dial or something like that.

Uh, but sexually when we're talking about being physically excited and we're in the

mood, again, this is a, a euphemism here.

I'm in the mood for, you know, sex or something like that.

But you can say, “Honey, I'm in the mood tonight.”

And then my wife says, “I'm not in the mood.”

And I say, “Oh no!”

You know, like, that kind of thing.

We're talking a, we're talking in euphemisms.

Uh, we know what we're talking about.

But again, this is more about expressing that in a way that's, you know, a bit more casual

and conversational.

Uh, so, if you feel maybe you can use those expressions, if you, if you walk up to a woman

at a bar and you say, “Hey, like, we should have sex.”

Now, may, she might think that's funny, but she probably won't.

You know, it's just getting to know that kind of person.

Uh, but again, that's why we speak in euphemisms.

But this idea of being turned on or turned off, um, or you can talk about the phrasal

nouns.

So, not the phrasal verb, but the phrasal noun of saying that something is a turn on

or a turn off.

So, uh, like, if my, my wife, like, wears, you know, some very sexy outfit or something

like that.

Like, yeah, that's a turn on for me.

Uh, or if she's just wearing some old clothes and, you know, just, like, sick or something

or whatever.

I mean, it's a bad example.

But that's a turn off kind of thing.

So, it's how you feel, uh, about a person doing something.

If they're exciting you in a sexual way, uh, this is known as a turn on, uh, or they are

turning you on.

Like an oven, you know, like something like that.

Uh, or the opposite would be a turnoff.

Next, very quickly, a prude.

A prude.

Now, prude is just a term used for, like, typically a conservative woman, uh, especially

in the modern-day climate of dating where, uh, people are often having, like, a one-night

stand.

Or, they're connecting, a one-night stand just means having sex, like, typically on

the first meeting, the first night.

Uh, and maybe you never have any kind of relationship or anything like that ever again with the

same person.

Uh, so that's a one-night stand.

Uh, but when you, you look at that, like, if you are the kind of person who does that,

that sort of thing, uh, and you maybe are talking with someone who does not.

Maybe you will look at that person and say, “Well that person's kind of a prude.”

Uh, you know, like, they should be able to have fun and enjoy themselves.

Maybe they should, you know, have sex with people more freely or whatever.

Again, it doesn't matter if you agree or disagree with that for the purposes of this lesson.

It's just more so you understand the vocabulary.

Next, to have game.

To have game.

Now, you’ll hear, again, it's a euphemism.

We're talking about game as in the game of, of men and women, or relationships in general,

whatever that relationship is.

Uh, but we think about it like a game.

There are different rules to it.

What socially should you, should, you should do?

Is this allowed or is that not allowed?

Um, but these are the, kind of the games that people play.

And men and women, uh, you know, we will talk about, like, don't play games with me or I

don't want someone who plays games.

So, these, this kind of expression of a game we're talking about, uh, just the rules and

the different rituals that we have when we go out on dates.

So, uh, it, like, people will argue.

Can you, like, sleep with someone on the second date?

Should you kiss someone on the first date or not?

Is that too fast or too slow or whatever?

So, people talk about these different rules, and what's okay to do.

And then they change over time just like the language.

So, now, like, the rules are becoming a bit more liberal and they used to be more conservative,

uh, years ago.

Anyway, so, that idea of game, uh, there's also the idea of having game.

And this is typically used more for men, uh, approaching women and talking to women.

Because, uh, as I'll talk more about, uh, in the, the, in this video a little bit later,

um, the idea of evolutionary, uh, psychology is looking at the biology of men and women

and the differences that we have physically.

Uh, and thinking about how that changes our mental strategy for, for finding a different

person to date.

Uh, or how we, how we do the game of dating, that kind of thing.

So, not just dating as well but, uh, producing children and the other things that we have

to do.

But the idea of having game or when you hear about, uh, like, wow, that guy over there

has great game.

It's just talking about he's very good at talking to women and, uh, getting dates or

other things like that.

Next, some more great phrasal verbs to be called out and to be shot down.

To be called out for something.

When you're called out and you, it means you're being noticed by other people usually in a

negative way because maybe you said something silly or you got, you know, in trouble for

doing something.

So, if I'm, uh, like, cheating, uh, on a test in the classroom with the next, with the student

next to me, and the teacher looks at me and said, “Are you cheating over there?”

She is calling me out.

So, she is, uh, again, signaling that I did something wrong and making it known to everybody

else.

Uh, and then this is like, in a way it's ostracizing me.

So, she says, “You have to go, like, sit in the other classroom and take the test because

you're cheating.”

So, again, it’s a, as I talked about in the Phrase Builder lesson, uh, ostracizing

someone.

So, the other phrasal verb here is to get shot down.

If you think about a plane that's flying somewhere, like especially in the, in the, in a war.

You’ve got those little planes that are operated by one man and, you know, one whatever,

one person in the, in the, uh, in the plane, uh, or two people.

And, like, it gets shot, you know, out of the sky.

So, we talk about that like a man walking up to a woman, approaching her and maybe he

says, “Oh, hello.

How are you?”

And he tries to say something, and the woman is clearly not interested.

We say that the man has been shot down.

And this is why it's often difficult because even if maybe social ideas about men and women

talking to each other have changed, still we have, you know, a majority of people, you

know, a lot of people are still…

It's still men trying to walk up to approach women, and women often expecting men to do

the approach.

But what happens there, uh, is that the man is the one that he is taking the risk because

he is, he is approaching the woman.

And either she accepts him or rejects him or not.

And this is why, uh, it's good to have some kind of sense about the person before you

approach them.

If the woman is looking at you many times, usually that's a good indicator of interest.

That she's, you know, happy to have you come over and speak with her.

Next, we've got sexual harassment.

That's another thing that came up.

It's also a very common thing, uh, in just everyday conversations as well, especially

if you're working at a company, a larger company.

Uh, but sexual harassment is now more of a thing.

Uh, I remember reading an interesting, uh, and just, it was, I forget what, what, what

online website or something like that.

But it was, uh, it was talking about psychology, uh, and it was talking about men and women

working at the workplace.

Because before it used to be more segregated.

Women would have maybe their particular place at the office, and men would have their particular

place.

Uh, but when you start mixing them together, what, what this article was saying, uh, is

that women wanted to be treated equally.

So, they were saying, “Don't, like, you shouldn't be sexually harassing us, saying

like sexual things to us at work.”

But the interesting thing that this article was saying, is that men would do that to each

other.

So, if you have, many years ago it's only men working in this area and they are saying

sexual things to each other.

And they're joking around, and that's just kinda what they do.

Uh, and there's some teasing and this is, you know, just part of being human for most

people.

There's, like, different levels of people.

You have a boss and other people that work for him and her or whatever.

And, uh, so, this is kind of a general thing.

And so, what, what this, uh, this psychology report, it was just documenting how, uh, women

were being treated equal by being kind of, like, harassed in the same way that men are

harassed in the workplace.

So, it was a really interesting article.

Uh, I don't remember where I saw it.

Um, I would recommend it though if you can find something like that.

But again, har, uh, sexual harassment, uh, it, it can mean anything from looking at someone.

Like if I'm standing in an elevator and I look at a woman in, like, a suggestive, uh,

sexually suggestive way.

So, I'm, like, looking up and down.

Like, oh!

Like, you look really nice or I say something to her.

Um, but again, we have this also, also kind of traditional cultural idea.

Uh, and this is just another funny example of something I saw.

It was a, um, I think it might've been, uh, it was some comedy show, I think.

But they were, they were explaining what sexual harassment was.

Uh, and they were saying sexual harassment is when an unattractive man tries to approach

a woman.

So, when a, when a, a good-looking guy approaches a woman and says, “Hey, like, you look good

today,” uh, it's not sexual harassment.

But when an unattractive guy to that woman approaches that woman, and she's not interested,

then that becomes sexual harassment.

Now, this is kind of joking.

But, uh, it's funny because it, it, it goes into, like, a kind of more broader, uh, idea

about how men and women, uh, deal with each other in the workplace or other things like

that.

Uh, but in general it just means you're, you’re doing something negative that the other person

doesn't really like.

There can be sexual harassment both ways.

Like, maybe women are harassing men and men are harassing women.

Uh, but you hear a lot more about that as men harassing women.

Next, I also mentioned or, uh, it was mentioned, courtship.

And courtship is just another one of those kind of, um, it's like a classier way of describing

dating where you have, you know, a man and a woman.

They have certain roles that they have, even if it's not, you know, like a man has to do

this and a woman does that.

Um, but in general, just like every other species on the planet, like, two birds are

coming together.

The, the male bird does this thing and the female bird does this thing.

And they have a courtship ritual or something.

And it's very complicated with humans.

Uh, and it's different with even in different cultures or different neighborhoods within

the same country.

Uh, but again, these are just interesting things you notice, but courtship is just talking

about the process of meeting and dating and, uh, building a relationship so that maybe

you get married and have a family, that kind of thing.

Next, I also mentioned MGTOW.

So M-G-T-O-W.

This is Men Going Their Own Way.

This is actually something I don't know very much about.

Again, I'm learning, you know, things like this because I'm not in the dating world anymore.

Uh, but when you hear something like this, there's a, uh, we call this a backlash.

Where it just means if men are perceiving themselves as, like, they're not, uh, able

to communicate with women or their opportunities are restricted or other things like that.

Like, you know, you hear, uh, like, younger people are delaying marriage longer and longer.

And we talk about this as well in the conversation.

Whether that's a good idea, I don't know.

It's just something that I wanted to discuss because I figured you might be interested

in that.

Uh, but this idea of men going their own way, is men saying, “Well, uh, like, the laws

are designed to, to benefit women.”

So, if we get married, uh, then, like, the woman can, you know…

It's just, like, a lot of the laws are there for, for women to get custody.

So, to get control of the children if there, there’s a divorce, other things like that.

Again, I don't know specifically about, like, the rules or whatever or what their particular

principles are.

But it's just an interesting thing that there is such a group of people like Men Going Their

Own Way, meaning they don't want to have relationships with women because it's, you know, too much

trouble or something like that.

Next, kind of the opposite of someone who is a MGTOW.

This is the alpha male.

Now, this is going back to that evolutionary psychology idea or evolutionary psychology

with evolutionary biology, uh, of where you have kind of a group of different people,

just like you have in a company.

You have a boss and then some people under that boss and then more people under that.

Um, so, all humans are organized into these kinds of groups.

So, even within a family, uh, even if, like, the mother and father are basically equal,

usually there's one that's a little bit more dominant than the other.

Um, and even within the, like, the kids, like, the older children are a little bit more dominant

than the younger children, that kind of thing.

So, it doesn't always have to work that way.

Uh, but these are interesting things that happen.

And so, because of that, like we dis, we, you kind of, uh, naturally create different,

different things that could become things like sexual harassment.

Uh, or even just the ways that we relate to other, the ways that we relate to other, to

each other, excuse me, uh, in relationships.

And so, this means, like, you have power relationships, like, like a boss.

Like this was another thing recently, uh, like, the MeToo Movement.

So, this is where a lot of actresses and, like, famous, even some men were, um, were

saying that, like, powerful people in Hollywood were, you know, sexually harassing other people

like that.

And again, this is, it's kind of just, not saying it's a good thing.

But obviously, it's something that happens because people are naturally kind of in groups

like this.

Um, but also, we get these, uh, same ideas of, uh, because we have these groups, we have

the alpha male or the idea of the alpha male.

Um, because typically, like, often in, in groups of, of animals like us, uh, you will

have maybe the dominant male who will, you know, get access to all these, all the women,

all, like, the females in his area.

And so, all the other males are trying to become the alpha.

So, the alpha like that, it's, it's a similar idea, uh, for, for people as well.

So, you might have a group of men, and then there's, like, the alpha.

Like, and he might not be the biggest or the strongest, but maybe the most confident or

the wealthiest or just the highest status of those groups of, uh, or that group of men

or women.

Next, some other great euphemisms, some other great words that describe just casual relationships.

Typically, when you're getting into a relationship, you might, at the very beginning, just to

weed out.

And this is a great phrasal verb, to weed out, like you’re pulling weeds out of a

garden.

Uh, this means to remove things that maybe you don't want, that you don't care about.

Um, so to weed out the people or things that are not interesting to you.

So, you might want a casual relationship.

Uh, this is also described as friends with benefits.

So, maybe if someone is just a friend of yours, you have no sexual relationship with that

person.

But a friend with benefits, those benefits are maybe sex or other things that are related

to that.

Um, so, you're looking for a friend with benefits.

And people will say, “Well, I'm just looking for a casual relationship right now.”

It means I don't want a long-term commitment, a long-term relationship.

Next, I mentioned this a little bit in the conversation itself, but I thought I would

talk about it here.

And this is that again, evolutionary psychology.

So, the way we think coming from the different, uh, kind of ways that, uh, that we are physically

as men and women.

Uh, and so, you might have women, again, like, women have to be choosy as I mentioned before

in the Phrase Builder video.

Uh, because they have a limited supply, and also limited amount of time of being able

to produce children.

So, a man, conceivably, like, it's possible to, to make a million different babies.

It's, like, very possible for a man to do that, especially with science, you know.

You could go to a lab and you know, give your sperm or whatever and have lots of kids all

over the world.

Uh, but a woman can only, you know, care for one baby or maybe one or two or three or whatever,

uh, at a time.

And then, you're still raising that child maybe for two or three years or something.

So, you have a limited supply and a limited time.

Uh, but men, again, like, we, we don't have to do that.

So, this is where the, the different reproductive strategies come from.

Uh, and so that's why a woman, you know, they have to be very selective about the kind of

man they're looking for.

But maybe men, like, we don't have to care as much.

Like, you know, for just like a fun evening or something if you're looking for a friend

with benefits, you don't really care so much about maybe the person long-term.

And you're not thinking about it in an evolutionary way.

Most people don't think about it like that anyway, but it's just a natural way we think.

Next, Mr. Right.

Mr. Right.

Now, we often don't hear about Mrs. Right, but it's a word or expression that you could

use.

But Mr. Right is talking about, uh, the, the man that's right for me as a woman.

So, I'm out looking for Mr. Right.

Maybe I go out on dates with a couple of different men.

Uh, and then I find one that I really like and, ah!

That's Mr. Right.

That's the, that's the good man for me.

So, the one that maybe he's funny, and does other things, and he's, you know, the way

I want him to look or something like that.

Mr. Right.

So, women will often be waiting for Mr. Right.

And maybe until he arrives, they date other people.

Next, you got a stay-at-home mom or a stay-at-home dad, which is, uh, uh, becoming increasingly

common.

I am at home.

I'm not a stay-at-home dad, uh, because my wife is at home as well.

But this just means to be at home taking care of the children.

Next, you’ll also hear to settle down.

And the opposite is to see what's out there.

So, when you're talking about settling down, this is another great phrasal verb, a way

of talking about getting married.

So, we say, well, it's time for me to settle down.

I'm, you know, 40 years old.

I have a good job and I'm looking for now a wife, and I want to have kids and that kind

of thing.

So, it's time for me to settle ra, settle down.

Or, I’m, you know, seeing what my options are.

Or, I'm, you know, still playing the field.

These are, again, euphemisms where you're talking about still going out and, you know,

trying to meet people and date people and see what your options are.

Keep your options open.

Next, to seal the deal.

To seal the deal.

This is another euphemism where you're talking about having sex, or some kind of connection

where maybe you kiss someone or did something.

Uh, but this is just coming from an idea of having a deal where maybe you have a contract

with a different company or something, uh, and you write down, you sign what that is.

You put your seal on that.

So, to seal the deal, to make sure it's, uh, like, a strong physical thing.

But then we use that, uh, in a euphemistic way.

So, as a euphemism talking about, well, like, I went out with this girl last night.

And I, I come back and meet my friend for breakfast, and he says, “Hey man, did you

seal the deal last night?”

And I say, “Oh, well, I don't kiss and tell.”

I don't kiss and tell.

That's another great phrase you can use when you want to, like, not tell other people what

you did with someone.

Like, maybe you went out on a date, but I don't kiss and tell.

I don't kiss and tell.

But, seal the deal just means to, to physically connect or do something in that way.

Next, you'll hear Carly talking about bonus points.

And now, points, uh, talking about that for people.

It's almost like we do keep a mental score of people when we're out dating or even, you

know, if you're using a dating app.

And you're, like, okay, this person gets ten points because, you know, they're an athlete.

And so, they're very strong.

Maybe they get another ten points because, uh, they're a very smart person, they went

to a good college.

Uh, but they lose 20 points because they went to jail for doing something.

So, we, we talk about having different points for, uh, for people in this way.

And so, Carly was saying, “Well, that guy gets bonus points because he, uh, like, you

know, went out and, like, took care of my family,” or does something like this.

So, you can, like, kind of over time in a relationship, you can change your own point

level, uh, for the other person.

So, they're, they're thinking about you in a certain way.

If you do something nice for them, you kind of increase your point level for that.

So, Carly was saying bonus points for, you know, my mom liking a guy.

And finally, a few more things.

We've got sleazy.

So, sleazy just meaning, like, a guy walks up to you and he says, “Hey, we should go

back to my house and have sex right now.”

And you say, “Eww.

Like, I don't want to do that.”

That doesn't sound like you're, I don't know, I'm not attracted to you.

And that was a really horrible way to begin the conversation.

That's just sleazy.

Sleazy.

And it's not something you like.

Uh, another expression is to hit it and quit it.

Now, listen carefully, I'll pronounce it so you can understand.

Hit it and quit it.

But we're pronouncing it quickly as hidit and quidit.

Hidit and quidit.

Hidit and quidit.

It's almost like hidid en quidit.

Hidid en quidit, hit it and quit it.

So, hit it, again, this is a euphemism for having sex.

Again, we've got lots of these.

So, to hit something and then to quit means, like, to leave.

So, it's like a one-night stand, where a guy sleeps with a girl and then they don't do

anything more for whatever reason.

But, uh, yeah, like, he hit it and quit it.

So, it's a very kind of, like, sad thing.

Or, you know, if both people were interested in that, that's great.

But, uh, this is more how people can describe it in that way.

Now finally, we'll just cover some of the biological terms that were used in the conversation

as well.

Again, they'll be euphemisms for these kinds of things.

The first one is a period.

So, period, uh, this is kind of the everyday conversational term, the most commonly used

expression, uh, for a, a woman's monthly menstrual cycle.

So, you have, you know, like, like, blood and things that come out.

I don't need to go specifically into that.

But, anyway, to saying, to say you have your period.

Um, it's kind of like, like a period, like a period of time.

So, like, it's my period or you would say or hear women say, “I'm on my period right

now.”

So, that's a very common expression for that.

Um, there are other ways of describing it, but really this is the most common one.

And so if you're using that, like, if you were a woman and talking to your girlfriends

and say, “Yeah, I'm not feeling very good right now.

Like, I'm, like, I'm on my period.”

You can also say, or you will hear people talking about, it's my time of the month.

It's my time of the month, or it's her time of the month.

And this just means, again, it's a euphemism for talking about a period.

So, women have a monthly cycle, uh, where they're, you know, like, more likely to get

pregnant.

And then, you know, they release a new egg.

And again, I don't need to talk about the biology of it, but it's more about the expressions

that people use.

But very common ones are to be on your period, or to have your period, uh, or having your

time of the month.

You'll also hear me talking about a gestation period.

And this just refers to how long a baby is growing, uh, inside of a woman.

So, for humans, it's nine months.

For elephants, it's, I don’t know two years or something like that.

I don't remember how long it is, but it takes a long time I think.

Uh, but anyway, that's the gestation, the gestation period.

Uh, but even from this idea of the physical, like, uh, like, having a baby, being pregnant,

the gestation period of that.

Uh, we also talk about that, like, the incubation period or the gestation period, uh, for, like,

building a, a company or something like that.

So, maybe a company would have a division that's building some new product, and there's

a gestation period where they're thinking about it.

They're figuring out what that is.

Like, they're incubating an idea.

Uh, that same kind of thing, but it's just before something is released or born or given

to the market.

Uh, it's taking some time to grow internally.

Next, we have contraceptive.

A contraceptive.

Now, a contraceptive is something that inhibits a woman becoming pregnant.

Uh, so, really, for men, this could be just wearing a condom.

Really that’s about all you can do, uh, unless you're getting, like, an actual operation

where, um, like, you're getting a, a vasectomy.

So, you won't hear this.

Like, I don't go into detail about this in the conversation.

I just thought maybe you would be interested in that.

But that's the operation where you're getting your tubes tied.

And so, you actually can't, uh, produce any children anymore.

Actually, some people maybe it, it heels or something.

Uh, but typically when you get your tubes tied, then you're, it’s, you’re unable

to have, uh, make, pro, produce children anymore.

But you can still have sex.

So, this is why people would do it, uh, because men don't want to wear a condom, you know.

Uh, but, uh, like, for women, there are lots of different things you can do, and I won't

go into all these.

But again, contraceptive is just, um, uh, talking about either you're blocking something

physically or doing something like taking, uh, what women just call the pill.

So, women say I'm on the pill, and this is just talking about, you know, they're taking

their pill every day.

So it's, it’s stopping them, uh, from being able to get pregnant.

Again, so they can, you know, still not use a condom and enjoy sex.

Next, you’ll also hear us talking about young children, and then you can have adoptive

children or foster children.

Uh, typically when, uh, like, a regular family will go to, like, an orphanage or they will

just go to the hospital and adopt a baby from some other family.

Uh, this is just having a child that is not yours or your, of your blood.

And so, you're raising that child, or you could have a foster child.

And typically, a foster child, it, it's like, um, like a child that isn't directly given

to someone else at birth.

So, maybe they go into an orphanage.

This is a, a house or a place where, uh, a lot of children who don't have parents are.

So, they're being raised in that.

Um, and so, they would go through maybe a foster parent.

So, this is a similar thing of being adopted, but maybe it's not you’re like adopting

that child, you know, for, for life.

So, you might, like, kind of take care of that child for a while, uh, and then put them

on a, you know, maybe do something else or give them to a different family.

Uh, or they just get older and then they begin to take care of themselves.

And finally, this isn't exactly a biological term, but I talked about a young buck.

Now, this is a term for young men.

Uh, and I was saying, “Well, I'm not a young buck anymore,” you know, a young man.

This is like, you know, like, 18 to 20, I don't know, 9 or something like that.

So, younger men that are maybe not married yet and they're going out and, you know, still

playing the field in the dating scene, other things like that.

But they're not married, and they're going out and just younger and, uh, doing things

like this.

But typically, older men are describing younger men in that way.

A young buck, just like a young deer, uh, compared to an older deer.

Well, that's it for this lesson.

I hope you have enjoyed going back and reviewing this.

Uh, and again, do go back.

Uh, listen to things again.

Remember to go back and practice speaking with me.

Watch how I speak.

Remember, I don't, I don't have a script for these lessons.

So, I'm just thinking about what I want to say as I say it.

But I'm still able to communicate fluently and automatically.

And really this is something you can develop.

You can watch as I do this.

Sometimes I'm even thinking about something I want to say, uh, but then maybe I have to

change my mind, or I have to think about it in a different way.

But you develop a better sense for this if you actually go back and repeat to try to

speak with me or speak right after me.

Uh, and this will help you get fluent faster.

So, go back and review this, and I'll see you in the Master Class Conversation coming

up next.

Bye bye.