Can You Follow This Group English Conversation? Advanced English Listening Practice

All right, well welcome to this month’s Master Class lesson. Actually…

Thank you.

… this is gonna be an interesting video this month.

Yeah.

Whoa, you guys want to introduce yourselves over here?

Sure. Okay, I’m Carly, and, uh, maybe you know me from a few videos or so now. Um…

If you’ve been with us for a while, yep.

Yeah. To any new faces, I’m Carly. I’m from San Diego, but I am living in Nagasaki,

Japan right now.

Next.

I’m Natasha. I went to school at San Diego State University with Carly.

Woo woo!

Um, I’m originally from the Bay Area, and she actually connected me with Drew. And I

interned for him for a while.

Yep. She did…

For a bit.

… a little of, little bit of help and so we’re, we actually had, uh, a great evening

today talking about, uh, lots of different business-related things and, uh, customer

service cause she’s really interested in that kind of thing as, uh, it’s great for

learning more about business and…

Yeah.

…helping people get what they need from whatever that was. Uh, but we were just sitting

here talking. She, uh, you want to hold up this book here. Uh, so this is a book about

Japan. She came out to visit Carly. You’re out here for what, a week or…

Ten days.

… ten days.

Yep.

Uh, so did you read this whole book?

I skimmed through this whole book.

Yep.

I didn’t read it word-for-word, but I definitely kept picking out…

You found interesting…

… like the different sections…

…sure, sure.

… yeah.

Yeah.

Uh, so we were just sitting and talking about, like, men and women and, like, other things

like that. Just, you know, coming from, uh, a different cultural thing. Like, you probably

heard about, like, uh, men, like, the, the subway cars are, and the train cars are pretty

packed…

Yeah, and there’s…

… in some places.

… and there’s women only…

Yep.

… ones.

So, there are women, women-only cars out here in…

Yeah.

… Japan as well, just to make sure people don’t get groped or…

Yeah.

… you called it, what, grazing someone.

Grazing.

So, you told, you told a story…

Yeah.

… about a woman getting, like, her, her breasts got grazed…

Grazed.

… or something…

Yeah. She’s…

… so a man…

… really upset.

Yep, yep.

And, yeah, and how, like, I shouldn’t be laughing. But Drew … So Drew said, like,

“Ah, I wish women could do that to men a little more.”

Well I, I didn’t, I didn’t, yeah, yeah.

That’s so bad. So bad.

Yeah, yeah. So I, I was just saying, like, kinda joking…

Sorry.

… like, you know, why don’t, why don’t women, women try to just grope men more, like

out, like out, like, cause you don’t, you don’t see that often. Especially not in

Japan. Like, you don’t…

Yeah.

… it would be pretty rare for, uh, like, a woman to hit on a man out here.

Mm-hmm.

You might see that more with a, like, a Japanese woman and foreign guy.

Mm-hmm.

Maybe just because they, they understand a little bit more about…

Mm-hmm.

… Western culture and that’s a…

Right.

… whole…

Funny that you mention that, though. In this book, Japan Made Easy, um, it talks about

how girls are not taboo but, “dot, dot, dot.” It starts off saying that “it’s

common knowledge that Western men find oriental women unusually attractive.” And that in

any ranking of overall femininity, characteris, character and personality, Japanese women

are invariably in the top three. But it goes through…

Oh, it like…

The top…

… talking about…

…three, wow.

… uh, what, what are the other two in the top three?

Yeah, I’m curious now.

There’s other, um, and other I don’t, I’m not sure.

Yeah.

Oh, so it doesn’t, it doesn’t list that? It just says they’re in the top three, but

it doesn’t say…

It doesn’t say…

… what the other two…

… what the other two are.

You can’t do that in a book.

Yeah.

You’re supposed to give, like, the, all of the top…

Now I’m curious.

But, it pretty much says, like, male guests from other countries visiting Japan, the Japanese

men and cultures, they are very protective of their, their women. And, um, if they are

going to engage in, like, flirting or in sexual encounters or anything, it’s, uh, going

to be with the entertainment business. So, they’re very kind of, that’s, that’s

what it talks about.

Like…

I have a…

I know.

When, when was that written? Cause I haven’t found…

Great question.

… that to be the case out here.

No… 1999, updated…

Huh.

… and, uh, a copyright 1995, updated in 1999.

Ah, okay.

Okay.

Well it’s, yeah, that’s almost…

Ten years.

… 20 years really, 1999.

Oh my God, 20 years.

I was curious about that. It’s good to know. I know.

But I…

I was like ten years. That’s not…

… but I mean, cer…

… so bad.

… like, the culture, the culture has definitely changed, uh, more about that. But I, I certainly

haven’t…

Yeah.

… found any, any Japanese men being particularly, like, protective of women that are not dating

them specifically.

Yeah.

So they wouldn’t just walk up, like, oh. Like…

Stop hitting on…

… like, you’re talk, gonna talk to our women or whatever. I’ve never, never experienced

anything…

Oh, I wonder if…

… like that.

Yeah.

… it’s just if you’re here for a short period of time. You’re like, all right,

I’m just looking for a party or, like, the nightlife, or…

Maybe.

… yeah.

But I guess, depending on your level of Japanese, I guess, they, I wouldn’t, I don't know.

I, but I’ve never had any experience like that. But, so…

Yeah.

… we were, we were just sitting, talking about that, about, like, you know, just the

differences in men and women and, and, uh, it’s also something I thought would be an

interesting topic because culturally, in, uh, countries like America and the United

Kingdom and Australia, there are a lot of, like, now there’s a lot more discussion

about equality and men and women and how they relate to each other and what…

Yeah.

… should we be doing in business situations. And things…

Mm-hmm.

… like that.

Like, should women make the first move?

That’s, so that’s…

Yeah.

…another thing. Like, relationship wise, uh, what, what do you think about that? Can

you, if you see a guy at a, at the club or whatever and you’re, you know, like…

Be, you’re like…

… or at the…

… what’s up.

… grocery store or something.

Yes.

Uh, would you…

Yeah.

… would you, would you feel comfortable making the first move?

No. I mean…

Really? Why not?

… I just, no, I don't know. I guess I just grew up in a more conservative environment.

But also there’s the, some of the things that guys ask nowadays, and like, in…

What do you mean?

… online dating, or like, even like just regular, like, I can’t believe you just

asked me to, like, do this or do that, you know? And I’m like, do other girls really…

…

I can’t give an example right now, but like…

Oh, you mean….

… for example…

… like, some like…

… they’ll say…

… sexual thing? Like…

Not…

… very…

… necessarily sexual, it’s just so, like, they think that they’re being light and

flirting and stuff. Or like…

Yeah, it’s just weird.

… it’s just weird. Like, they’ll talk about me in a third person or something. We

have only been…

Yeah. She was telling me about…

… on like, one date…

… this guy…

… or something.

Well, you need to explain to people…

… they were dating…

what that, what that means.

Like, they’ll say, “Oh, uh, it sounds like Tash is, uh…”

Angry right now, or whatever.

Not, well, or like, it sounds like Tash is, like, really likes this. Or like, talking

about me, like, in a third person, you know?

Yeah.

Sure.

And I’m like…

She was dating somebody…

… how do…

… who would, like, message her back and talk to her in the third person. It…

Weird.

… was really weird…

Yeah. Or like, I just say…

Yeah.

… one word, like, oh. Like, asking about if you took a flight or a, um, drove to a

certain location they were traveling to. And like, they told me they were flying, and I

go, “Oh, nice.” And they go, “How many time are you gonna call me nice.” And I’m

like…

That’s so weird. That’s you’re…

… it’s just…

… way of flirting, dude?

… I’m not…

Was this, this is…

… impressed. I’m sorry.

… this is somebody you met, like, personally or they’re…

Through friends, yeah.

Uh-huh, and you don’t speak with this person anymore?

Not anymore, no.

Ah, okay.

It was just a bit of a…

Yes.

… turn off. I just…

Yeah.

… like, I…

Yeah.

… you know, I have people who tell me, like, “Oh, don’t be such a prude. Like, they

were just being nice, flirting.” But I just…

It’s like…

… feel like for me…

… if it’s not vibing then…

… maybe I don’t, I can’t…

That doesn’t sound like game…

… tell if it’s…

… really…

No.

… I can’t tell if it was just my personal preference or if that was something that other

people wouldn’t enjoy either. So you guys tell me what your thoughts are on that.

Well that is…

I think it’s weird

… it, it sounds like he, he has no game, really.

Yeah, no game. And…

Maybe.

… and is a awkward person, and doesn’t know how to socialize with women properly…

Sure. Well I think…

Well, that’s…

… but this, this is a problem…

… from my perspective.

… with men now. Like, men and women, they’re kind of, we used to have like what you’re

talking about, a bit more traditionally defined (gender) roles or people understood…

Mm-hmm.

… like men are maybe more the aggressor. Not like in a bad way, but they’re the,

they, they approach.

Mm-hmm.

And so women are there, like, and this is kinda biologically where we’re coming from.

Like the, I, I guess I have more of, like, an evolutionary biology…

Mm-hmm.

…way of looking at it. So if you just look at the, like, the different sexes in general.

So you have eggs. And you have a limited supply of them.

Mm-hmm.

So, it’s your job to be choosy.

Mm-hmm.

But my, my job, like, I have…

You’ve got millions…

Yeah. I got…

… of little guys.

… I could, I could make millions of little, like sperms or whatever.

Yeah.

And so, you know, it’s okay. We can, we can talk about this. We can, we can be adults…

You got a…

… over here. Yeah, I know. Exactly. Well actually, uh, everybody, everybody watch,

I think there’s a few people in the program actually in high school. But, okay. But some…

Okay, well they’re probably really enjoying this…

Yeah.

… topic. It’s…

But it’s important to learn. You will see it in movies and TV shows and people talk,

it’s just normal…

Yeah.

… conversational stuff. So…

This is the real talk.

… yeah, yeah.

Well here’s the thing too just based off of her, my, like, my personal, uh, experience

growing up. That stuff was kind of hidden from me.

Sure.

So, I think if it would have been, um, there more often and talked about more often, it

wouldn’t be so different, or, uh, not awkward. I don’t feel awkward, but like, it wouldn’t…

Yeah.

… be something that I feel should not be talked about…

Openly.

… more openly, exactly.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, so, um, it, yeah. I mean, even like… Yeah.

Well feel free to talk about it now. See I, I, I try to think about it in a scientific

way when I’m…

Yeah.

… talking about it. Like, I, I like…

So you have limited supplies of, uh…

Yeah.

… our materials…

Yeah.

… per se…

And not, not only that, but I mean, even, like, I mean, you have, uh, you have a period

every month.

Mm-hmm.

So you go that, like, one egg and there, there’s a, like, 400 of them or however…

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

… many you’ve got for, you know, for you…

Until menopause.

Yeah. And you can only produce a child, you know, its nine months gestation period.

Mm-hmm.

And you got to raise the child really before…

Yeah.

… doing another one. So you have a very limited supply, so…

Mm-hmm.

… you have to be choosier.

Yeah, about who we make a baby with.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But I think, like, women now, like, you know, there are contraceptives…

Mm-hmm.

… and you know, women can have more fun or they cannot have more fun.

Yeah.

But do, do you think with, I mean, cause I, I’ve been out of America for a while. I

mean, I follow the news…

Yeah.

… or things that happen in the United States. But like, since Natasha you’re still living

out there. Are you noticing more, uh, people feel like men and women are becoming more

equal? Or is that making a, a difference in the way people interact with each other?

I would say I’m really lucky to be in California where there is more equality between men and

women. Even in, like…

Sure.

… the workplace, people are like, okay. Let’s talk, uh, let’s see what the women’s

side, it, it, like….

Perspective, or…

… uh, perspective is, you know, or…

… are they interested in that?

Uh-huh.

… it’s not just the men. I do think that women have come a long way, and there’s

still a lot more to be done. But…

Uh-huh.

… just going somewhere more rural or like, more towards the Midwest and, or even going

to another country like in Greece, you know. Like, it just seems like, um, there’s so

much more opportunity where I’ve grown up in terms of where women’s voices are definitely

diminished, and…

Mm-hmm.

Huh.

… so I do feel like it’s come a long way in California.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Um, and you know, city areas and everything, but…

Do you think that, like, changes…

… some of the things you hear, oh yeah.

… does, do you think that changes dating in any way? Like…

Like more women…

…maybe…

… more women getting into the workplace and that’s affecting the way men and women

relate to each other you mean? Or you’re just talking about equality socially in general?

Yeah. Like, socially in general, like would it be more normal in California for a women

to approach a man than vice versa? I think it would, right? It’s a little bit different.

It’s more open. Like, you could.

Yeah.

I, I would say that you, you can approach a guy. But I think that there’s also the

feeling of letting the guy feel like a guy.

Mm-hmm.

They like to do those things, you know. Sometimes…

Boost their ego.

… I, I, you know, now that I think about it, there are times where I’m the first

one.

Yeah.

Or like, I’m like trying to reach out and everything but…

Yeah.

… I’m like, oh, I don’t wanna, like…

Or, at least make some, like, really flirty eyes. Like…

Yeah.

…

… It’s like, okay, I’m showing you I’m interested, and…

Yeah.

… I’m like…

Look at my body.

… either…

…

…I’ve been sorely rejected, or, or they really just like, they have, they have to

do it on their own two. Like, sometimes you know, or like…

Sure.

… there has, have been guys, like, I’ve dated where, um, I’ll make more of the m,

the f…

Mmm, the first…

… the first moves, and…

… moves.

… and then….

Mm-hmm.

Well that’s common.

… there’s…

I mean, you, like, women…

Yeah.

… typically, like, if I’m, if, if a man walks into a bar and there are women there,

and he’s kinda looking around and like…

Which one…

… yeah, and he seeing…

… can I talk to?

… well, who, yeah. So who, who is…

Who’s friendly?

…yeah. Who looks friendly? Who is providing some kind of indication and invitation…

Yeah.

… of some sort. Like, ooh, like… You know? But…

Yeah.

… whatever women…

Who’s…

… do. Yeah.

… looking, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, if you, if you pay attention to that, then you’re, it’s really up to you to

make a move at that point.

Yeah, but…

Mm-hmm.

… then sometimes when I feel like I made a move, like I feel like, oh. Maybe that was

too strong. Like, wasn’t that supposed to be, like, his kind of like…

Uh-huh.

But that’s what I’m saying…

… the ball’s in his court.

… I think, I think…

Yeah.

… like, the, like, a lot of the, the, the changes that are happening socially are contributing

to making that more difficult…

Yeah?

… for men.

Hmm.

I see, yeah.

So they, if they feel, like some places, I, I mean, and again, like, I’m not, I’m

kind of out of touch as far as, like, actually living in the United States or a place where

you have that, cause the culture is still, it’s a bit more traditional still, out here

in Japan. Kinda like what the book was talking about. But the, if men feel that they’re

going to be, uh, I don't know, called out for sexual harassment or something. Like,

if I, if you kinda look at me, I’m like, all right. Maybe, maybe she wants me to make

a move and I walk over, and you’re like, why are you talking to me or whatever. And,

and like, like, I think men are…

Why’d you touch my shoulder?

… or some, yeah. Something like that. So it’s, uh, like…

Yeah.

… the, because the, the socially understood rules are a little bit different now.

Right.

Do, do you…

Yeah.

… do you feel that? Does that sound, does that make sense or you don’t really notice

that or…

I don’t notice it.

Yeah.

I’ve never heard a story where a, you know, you hear a guy complain about a girl…

Mm-hmm.

… making moves or being too strong.

Oh, well yeah. I, I, I, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t mean about like a man

complaining about a women approaching. I mean my, men might even but, it, especially if

you’re interested in the women. Like, the worst is when if you’re not interested in

someone, like, a woman and they’re approaching, and you’re like, oh. I, I feel bad, you

know, like…

Yeah.

… if I’m not…

Yes.

… interested or whatever.

Yeah.

Uh, but the, just men feeling a bit more nervous about…

Mmm…

… approaching a women in general.

Mm-hmm.

Gotcha.

I think…

Having, like…

… I think, like, the Bay Area is a, is a pretty, is a pretty special case because there

is, uh, such a, uh, you got so many more men than women out there now. So, women have it

much better…

Mm-hmm.

… like, dating wise or whatever, than, than men do out there.

I see. So you’re saying that guys now are feeling like they are holding back more because

women in, like, are kind of evolving to be…

Sure.

… come…

Well it, that, it’s, that’s, that’s what I hear, or kind…

Mm-hmm.

… of what I see online or in, on just news when I hear people talking about things like

that because I’m not, I’m not out there. So I’m asking…

Mm-hmm.

… more because you’re there. Do you notice anything like that, or does it not seem like

it’s…

No, I mean…

Yeah?

… I’ve heard of that too, now that I think about it, but I haven’t actually…

Sure.

… experienced or noticed that.

Huh.

Yeah.

Have you?

Not, not too much. No, yeah.

Well what, what…

I think, like…

… what do you…

… women are being, uh, sticking up for themselves more if they feel harassed.

Mm-hmm.

Whereas, like, in the past, maybe they just kinda like, go with it and not say anything.

Yeah.

Um…

So women are becoming more assertive?

Yeah. They’re becoming more assertive about, like, needing respect or space if they’re

not interested in the guy. So, it can lead to some sticky situations, you know, if like,

a guy does, like, push himself to touch her on her shoulder or elbow or whatnot, in kind

of like a safer area. But, if she doesn’t like it, like, the women has full right to

be like, “Don’t touch me.” Like, “Get away.” You know? So, like, I can see why

maybe some guys are afraid to approach women. But like…

Ah.

… they should, I don't know. They should just, like, have more of a social intuition

I guess. But…

Uh-huh.

… not everybody has that, you know?

Sure. Well it’s, it’s a…

It’s tough.

… thing you, you kinda have to, you have to develop, I suppose.

Yeah.

Or it take, it takes, I mean, learning, learning how to, like, that courtship of meeting…

Mm-hmm.

… women, going out, talking to women and you know, if you’re, you know, the, developing

that game.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, and I just wonder now, again, I’m, I’m not any kind of authority to talk about it

because I’m not living out there. I’m not young and dating anyway so…

Mm-hmm.

… uh, but I’m, I’m just curious because I see about that. And people complaining about

that online.

Mm-hmm.

So, now you have more, like, you know what MGTOW is? You ever heard of that?

MGTOW?

No.

So, MGTOW is an acronym for Men Going Their Own Way.

Men Going Their Own Way.

So this is, this is men. There’s a, like, a growing community of men that, like, they’re

feeling ostracized or, like, socially…

Mm-hmm.

… that they don’t, like, it’s, it’s like, it’s like, getting…

They don’t…

… harder, socially, to even approach women.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, like, maybe years ago, like, uh, like, a less attractive guy or somebody…

Mm-hmm.

… you know, could try to approach women and wouldn’t get shot down…

Mm-hmm.

… as quickly, or something like that. But now, uh…

Yeah.

… like, only, only what would be considered like an alpha male. Like…

Mm-hmm.

… you know, you know what an alpha male is?

Yeah.

So that, that…

Absolutely.

… idea.

Hot or like…

Yeah, so good looking or like, socially…

Yeah.

… very, like, high, high status, that kind…

Uh-huh.

… of person.

Well, here’s the thing. I feel like, in the Bay Area at least, there’s a lot of

online dating nowadays.

Sure.

So there’s so many different apps. It doesn’t even seem like you really hit on someone at

a bar or like…

Sure.

… you meet somebody. I mean, it’s, you still meet people through friends and stuff

like that, but it just seems a lot rarer.

Mm-hmm.

Like, if you’re…

Yeah.

… you know?

…

Are you using these apps now? Or you, or, uh, are you, you…

Here and there.

Sure.

I wouldn’t say…

Mm-hmm.

… like, yeah. But just from…

How’s your experience…

… like, my experience…

… been?

Yeah, I mean, it’s…

…

… like I said, here and there. Um, uh, met a few good eggs, a few…

Yeah.

… bad eggs.

Yeah.

But, um, I…

Right.

… I feel more comfortable getting to know the person, like, being able to gauge, like,

oh. Is this somebody I actually want to invest my time spending with and getting…

Sure.

… to know, even for, like, a, a first meetup, you know? And then, um, I’ve, every person

I have met, luckily, actually has been a good egg. But the bad eggs, I’m like, I’m not

even going to bother wasting my time, like…

Yeah, messaging.

Oh, really?

… messaging…

Yeah.

… online.

So how do you, you’re, so you’re, what are you using Tinder or something? Or…

Tinder, no.

Oh, no?

That’s a little bit too risqué for me.

Oh, really? Now I, I’ve not, I’ve not used any, any dating app ever. Like, I remember

actually meeting people back on America Online, like, way…

Whoa.

… like, many, many, many, I know. That’s like, it’s like, old, like…

What is that?

… pen pals and stuff, way back…

Yeah.

… in the day. Uh, but thinking about that now, why, why not Tinder? I guess I don’t

know much about it. I know you…

Tin, yeah.

… just swipe left or right on pictures…

Yeah.

… and if you connect with someone then it lets you communicate with that person.

Mm-hmm.

Well, each app almost has a reputation. Tinder’s reputation…

Mm-hmm.

… is, okay. I’m looking for a…

Hookups.

… hookup for that night. Like…

Oh, really?

… that weekend or…

Oh really?

… you’re like, something quick.

Yeah.

You know?

Uh-huh.

Like, I mean, there are rare stories where they, the people do meet on Tinder and then

they end up getting married, and, you know, end up…

Yeah.

… dating a lot longer and everything. But…

Huh.

… Tinder…

But that’s the rare exception?

… I try to stay, yeah. Exactly.

Ah, I see.

Mm-hmm.

I don’t try to stay away, I just don’t, I don’t use it.

Huh.

Yeah.

Oh really. So what, what…

Yeah.

… would you recommend for, for women that are trying to actually have a connection with,

with a guy or…

Yeah, there’s an app called Bumble. And…

Ah, okay.

… Bumble…

All right, I’ve heard of that.

You’ve heard of Bumble. Yeah, exactly.

Never heard of this.

The girl can reach out first to the guy.

Oh, really?

And…

Oh, interesting.

… yeah. Yeah, so, um, usually my go-to is “Hey, how’s it going?” So if, uh…

Yeah. That’s good.

… yeah. Happy face.

Yeah.

Or like, I’ll try to point, figure something out from like maybe a picture that interests

me or, like, I can connect with…

Mm-hmm.

… you know?

Yeah.

Um…

Like, “Like the picture of you in the trees. Where did you go camping?”

Well there ya go.

“Do you like to spend time outside?”

Yeah. Or, “It’s so cool you’re an astronaut.”

Yeah.

Like he’s really an astronaut.

That would be cool, but are you really an astronaut?

Yeah, you just…

Well that’s a great opener anyway…

Love your…

… even if they’re not.

… abs, but are they real?

Like, they could just be out, like, walking their dog or whatever.

Yeah.

Oh, I didn’t know you were an astronaut.

No, they, they have business title or like, what they’re…

Ah.

… do, what they’re working…

Ah, okay.

… and doing and everything. And they’re like, “Yeah, astronaut at NASA.” And I’m

like, “We matched…”

Okay.

… “I feel pretty cool.”

Uh-oh.

Like, I…

Yeah.

… can go on a date with an astronaut.

Like, up in space, you know.

Yeah. Oh, that would be romantic.

That’d be a cool date.

I’ve always wanted to go to a coffee shop on the moon with a view of, like…

Oh.

… planet Earth.

That would be beautiful.

There ya go.

That would be, uh…

That’s a good business idea…

… out of this world.

… right there.

Out of this world, yeah. Great business idea, right? Let’s, so once Elon Musk…

That’s right.

… you know, gets all his, uh, life ideas to build a civilization on Mars. Maybe…

Yep.

… there can be some transportation to the moon too.

Yeah.

Yeah, you think we would do the moon first…

The moon kinda thing, but it’s…

… you know? It’s a little bit closer.

A lot closer…

Yes.

… isn’t it? Yeah, that’s a good idea, Drew.

Let’s do it.

It’s like, let Elon have the, have Mars, you know?

I’ll take the moon.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We’ll…

Yeah.

… we’ll get, we’ll get to the moon first. Well that, are, are, are you seeing anybody

right now? Or you don’t want to divulge that? Or is that, is that, uh-oh. We can,

we can, we can, we can gloss over that one.

Yes, gloss…

Um, we can gloss over that one. Nice try though, Drew.

I don't know. I, like, I, I don't know if, if, if that…

Gloss over that.

… that special someone, if there is one, would probably not be watching this video

anyway. But, uh…

That’s true.

… the thing, like how, how did you…

Unless I share it with them.

… if you, ah.

Yeah.

If you, if you did meet such a person…

And then…

… where would you have met them? Would that be through, through Bumble or through just…

Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel…

Coffee Meets Bagel?

… those two. Yeah. I would say Coffee Meets Bagel and Bumble.

Uh-huh.

Coffee Meets Bagel, they give you like, a bagel of the day. They call…

Bagel…

What…

… it a profile…

… of the day?

… bagel equals profile in this case.

Okay.

And what’s coffee? That’s a euphemism for…

That’s you?

… something else, or …

I guess it just is the coffee meets bagel, so they pair well together. So they’re looking

for, like, your…

Oh.

… taste maybe? That, that’s just my assumption. I’m not…

Huh.

… exactly sure. But…

Hmm.

… that’s what I’m getting from it.

Oh, I was thinking, like, the bagel meant, like, a woman or something like that for some

reason.

Yeah.

Cause like a…

I heard of one app on Instagram. Like, I don't know if it’s true or just like a fake thing,

but like, they take these, like, super-duper great profiles and feature them so there’s

only like 21 men per month or something like that. And I, basically you have to, like,

enter to win, like a date with these awesome guys. Like…

That’s like bachelor’s…

Yeah.

… offer up…

Kinda like…

Oh really?

… bachelorette or…

Huh.

… The Bachelor online.

Yeah, only, like, a app, right. I know.

Innovative.

So, it is so innovative. I was like, I want to…

And so you, you’ve tried this before? Or you…

No. I haven’t tried it. Um, I was just kinda flipping through my phone and saw that and

skimmed over the information, and made my own, like, assumptions about it. So I could

be way off, but…

You don’t remember the name of it?

I don’t.

D: Ah.

I don’t remember the name. But that sounds fun, like, uh, yeah. If I could go on a date

with a really nice guy, I would be happy…

Well that, that’s what I was mentioning before about, like, the, the, the dating strategies

of men…

Mm-hmm.

… and women. Like, just from, like, thousands of years ago, you talk about, like, how, because

of the way we reproduce. So a women is gonna be more inclined to…

Be choosy.

… to find, like, yeah, to be choosy. And like, because you’re choosy, you want to

meet…

Yeah.

… the best person you can.

Yeah.

And…

And the, would a dude be like, “Oh, she’s cute. Okay.”

Basically.

Yeah.

Well what’s awesome about the app is you can scroll through profiles and you can be

like, all right, I’m more interested in that. Especially when you’re really busy,

like…

Ah. Yeah, that seems like…

Yeah, that’s true.

… it’s the big, a big, uh…

That’s the big appeal.

Yeah.

… yeah, yep.

Especially when you’re going through your 20s, you’re trying to build up your career

or, you know, build up your hobbies, this and that. So, it’s like, where can you fit

your romance? Sometimes people are too busy, so it’s easy…

Oh, well that’s interesting…

… just to…

… you bring that up though. So I mean, both of you are working and you’re…

Mm-hmm.

… you know, young ladies. Are you thinking about, you want to have kids in the future

or do you care?

Yeah.

Is that a, a priority to balance that out?

Mm-hmm.

Or not really? Or, what do you think?

More in the future.

Yeah.

You know, I definitely feel like now, like, I’m really wanting to focus on my career.

Um, I haven’t thought that far ahead to be honest.

Mm-hmm.

I mean, one day, yes. But I think, I mean, you have a better…

Yeah.

… idea on what you want. For me, I’m like…

Well but you guys…

… career…

… are how, how old?

… very career focused. Uh, 25.

25?

24.

Ah, okay.

Yeah. So I would like to have children, but like, honestly, I’m just gonna be doing

my own thing until Mr. Right shows up.

Exactly.

And like, I can have a child maybe 28 to 37. Like, there’s a wide, wide window. I’m

ready for, like, whatever comes at me.

Uh-huh.

But, um, definitely I want to be financially stable, be with the right person. Um, and

make sure, like, I’m healthy.

Yeah.

So if those things are, like, checked off and both me and my partner feel ready, then

like, that’s when I could have a child. But, I definitely do want children, and I

want to adopt, at least. Like…

Oh really?

Yeah. I wanted to.

It’s really interesting…

Oh, you want to adopt…

… that you mention…

also? Or…

Um, well actually I grew up in a family that was really involved with, uh, foster family…

Uh-huh.

… the Foster Family Network, and…

Oh, are you adopted or?

Um, it’s a, it’s a complicated story. But…

Uh-huh.

Mm-hmm.

… um, you know, I have, uh, siblings who have been adopted and, um, a lot of kids have

come into our house and home due to, like, neglect or drug issues with their family and…

Mm-hmm.

… everything. But, um, just going back based off of what you mentioned in terms of evolution.

Uh-huh.

Like, my grandma, I call her Yiya. She had her, like, first child at 17.

Sure.

And like, you know, a lot of civiliza, or civilizations, I don't know, like, different…

Yep, yep. Yeah. Societies is…

…you know, societies and…

… sure.

… everything back in the day. It’s like, hey, you get married, you have children, you’re

the child bearer, you know. The woman is sweeping around the house, trying to look for the American

dream, white picket fence. Cook for the husband once he comes home. But nowadays, it’s like,

both the man and the woman are providing. Or sometimes you even see and hear about,

like, men staying home and…

Sure.

… the women going out and…

Mm-hmm.

A stay-at-home dad, yep.

… getting, yeah. Staying at home, and…

That was my dad.

Yep.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And yeah, and then like, now it’s like, we think, okay. What are we going to do right

now? How far in the future are we going to plan out when we’re going to have kids?

Or are we even thinking about that at all? Are we continuously pushing that back and

everything, you know. So, it is interesting to think about the mindset. And even now people

my age are having kids and getting married. I’m thinking, aren’t you still so young

for that? But, it really just depends on…

On the person.

… the person nowadays. I mean…

Yeah.

… luckily you have freedom and choice and everything, but…

Sure. And the better healthcare systems that enable people to push that back. So…

Yeah.

… I mean, it’s, it, you can have maybe a complication with a pregnancy or something

where you could be older. Uh, so like, my wife, we had Aria. She was, uh, 34, I think.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, so we’re thinking about another one actually.

Yeah.

But I mean, I thought the same way. I didn’t, wasn’t interesting in having kids. I knew

I wanted kids…

Mm-hmm.

… but not until I was, you know.

Ready.

I think men, men really specifically think about the financial stableness, you know?

Mm-hmm.

Uh, to be able to, like, and again, that’s part of that, like, traditional… I, I, I,

I guess I kind of, I look at it almost like a business in a way, where there’s a division

of labor.

Mm-hmm.

So if, if I can work more and focus on that, then my wife can, you know, be at home with

kids or whatever.

Mm-hmm.

We both happen to be home, cause I work from home. But, um, but again, I’m just, from

what I hear about people, things seem to be changing in some way that I’m not personally,

I guess, uh, knowing much about. So, it’s nice to get your feedback about what’s happening

about that.

Yeah. Definitely.

We need to get more, like, men over here to explain, like, young men explaining…

Yeah.

… what’s, what’s happening with that.

On their mind.

Yeah, I feel like this age, it’s, there’s not a, I don't know. Not looking…

Yeah.

… for anything to just settle down right now. It’s more like, hey, let’s see what’s

out there…

Yeah.

… kind of thing.

And if you find somebody that’s like really good for you, then…

So if you, if you…

… yeah, just…

… did find, if you found some guy now that met some kind of critour, criteria, would

you, would you settle down or would you still even then be like, nah. We’re gonna, like,

wait and, and see or, or date him for a while or something?

Date for a while.

Yeah?

Yeah…

Yeah.

… before I really seal the deal.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm, same. Like, I’d have to be in my career that I know I want to stay in or like,

in the same city I know I want to stay in. Like, I’m gonna be moving back to San Diego

in four months and now I’m just like, not focused on dating right now.

Sure.

Like…

Like, in college and, um, I’d work, and I’d go to school. I didn’t even have time

for dating and all these, you know, um, a lot of people I knew would go on dates and

everything. It was, wasn’t really until like after graduating college when I got into

the, you know, dating scene at first, and everything. So I don't know, I must be late

to the game and everything. But I just feel a lot more focused on, like, what I, like,

my…

Yeah, depends on the….

… my path and my career…

… person, yeah.

… and bettering myself. And then, whoever wants to come along for the ride, you know?

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

And I think, like, a good thing about online dating is you can see on the profile right

away, like, what kind of relationship they’re interested in; if it’s casual, short-term,

long-term. And they usually ask, like, if you want to have children someday or be married

someday.

Uh-huh.

So you kinda, like, know what you’re getting…

Sure.

… yourself into.

Yeah.

But like, I think as we get older too, and you know, do want to find a life-long partner,

like, it’s important to ask those questions early on in the game. Cause like, if we know

we want kids, but like, we start dating a guy who…

Yeah.

… like, we find out six month after investing our time with him. So it’s like, oh by the

way, I’m not too into kids. That’s how their voice will sound.

Yeah, well, It’s actually really nice. Some of the guys, like, online dating will like,

right off the bat, be like, “Hey, I’m actually just looking for a friends with benefits

kind of thing.”

Yeah.

And I’m like, you know what? I like that you’re so direct…

I respect that.

… you respect that.

Yeah.

I’m not interested, but you know, let…

That’s great.

… let them know what you’re looking for, you know? Like…

Sure.

… that was awesome. Like, I might not be interested in that, but…

Yeah.

… it’s still, it’s almost like auditioning.

Yeah.

Well you’re, you’re…

But I…

… looking…

…

…

Sure.

You’re not, you’re not right for the role.

Yeah, sorry…

You gotta find, you gotta find what you’re looking for. I suppose that makes it easier

to narrow your choices down.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

What about, uh, are you, are you getting any kind of advice or pressure from your parents?

Or like, your mothers are saying anything like, “Why…

Well…

… don’t you settle down?” You know?

Mm-hmm.

Do you think about having, like, you’re not getting any younger dear. You know?

Yeah.

Do you, do you get any of that or not really?

I have, I have family from India and trust me. They’re like, oh, let’s do an arranged…

Yeah.

… marriage for, for you at this point. But, it’s kinda joking, kinda not.

Ah.

You know? Like, I don’t really know. I think they’re kidding, but, uh, no. Not really.

Um…

Yeah. I hear Indian…

… they’ve never been like, oh my gosh…

… families are strict about that. Or like…

Yeah. They’re not…

… can be pushy.

… super, no. They’re not really. I mean, for more…

…

… um, traditional Indian families, yes. Both my roommates are Indian and, you know,

they, very, like, if they’re dating someone who’s not Indian, they’re very like, hey.

I don’t want to…

Mm-hmm.

… talk to my family about this even, you know?

Oh, really? Huh.

Yeah. But for me, it’s, luckily I’ve had freedom to kinda do…

Yeah.

… they, they trust my decision and if they’re…

Yeah.

… important enough to bring home, I will. And they, usually they’re pretty respectful…

Sure.

… about that. So…

Yeah.

So if you’re, if you’re parents, like, if you brought home a guy that your parents

didn’t like, you wouldn’t feel bad about that. You’re just like, well, I mean, you

just gotta…

Mm-hmm.

… do your own thing.

Yeah. Um, that’s actually a really good point now that I think about it. I’ll like,

you know, when I go on a date with a guy or like, I’ve been on a few dates, usually

I don’t let them know. But when I do, I’m like, “Oh mom, what do you think of this

guy?” And she’ll be like, “Eh, it’s okay.” And I’m like, “Mom…

Yeah.

… why don’t you like them? I want you to like them. “ Especially if, like…

Come on, mom. He’s an astronaut.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the, the…

He’s an astronaut. How can you not?

… astronaut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure.

You know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Exactly. But she’s like, “Natasha, it’s your life. Like, if you like him then that’s

fine.” But then I’m like, “Well, I’m already turned off now because I want my mom

to love this guy.” You know?

Yeah. It’s important to have a family like him.

Yeah.

You think so, yeah?

In my eyes, yeah.

I do. I do think that’s important too. I agree with that.

Yeah.

Um, and then like, if they do like him. I’m like, “All right, he’s a good one. I’ll

keep him around for a while.”

Yeah.

You know?

So if you, if you, maybe like, there was a guy you liked, maybe 80 percent. But your

mom liked him a lot, that would, that would sway…

Boost him up?

… that for you?

It would…

Yeah?

Yeah.

… add that extra boost, yeah.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Especially when, like, they, even before I bring them home or like, even before I even

mention them to my family. Like, if they talk about their mom, like, all right. That’s…

That’s so nice.

… that’s cool to hear.

Oh, really?

Bonus points, yeah.

Yeah.

Ah, so if you’re, if you’re trying to…

Right.

… how, how, how soon into the…

Or…

… dating or whatever should he…

Yeah.

Not…

… like…

… not necess, yeah. Not necessarily about their mom. But I guess even about their family

in general.

Just to say that’s…

Like, how close they are.

… important.

Um…

Oh, so them, them saying family is important…

Important, yeah.

Yeah. Like, I don’t…

That could be anytime, the first date…

… want to know their, the detail of their family history. Like…

No, I don’t need…

… their life…

… a family tree.

I don’t need a family tree. I don’t need to, like, know every detail about your childhood.

But like, just to express your values and to include, like, your relationship with your

family and friends is important…

Yeah.

Ah.

… to me.

Just…

Yeah.

… subtle cues.

Sure, sure. So note, note to people out there…

Yeah, you don’t, like…

… if you’re, if you’re dating…

… don’t stop today and be like, say, “I got a mom.” I mean, I got…

My mom’s calling.

… my mom’s calling. I gotta answer this. “Hey, Mom.” Yeah. I’d be like, okay.

So…

Or what if, now what if a guy, like, if a guy walked up to you at the club and he was

just like, you know, like, my mom would love you. What, what would, what would you, would

you be, would you be kinda like…

I would laugh so hard.

Watch that happen now.

Yeah.

Oh.

Or try that one out. Like, come out, like just bring, carry the photo album with you.

Like, this is me…

Yeah.

… when I was…

Hey, photo…

… five, you know?

… albums are on phones nowadays.

Oh, it’s, I know. Look at me…

Yeah.

Just…

… with like, a physical, physical pictures over here. I’m all, I’m old over here.

That would be even more creepy.

Well think…

This is my photo…

I always think it’s so…

… of my mom.

… funny. Like, back in the olden days, not the olden days, but like…

The olden days.

… you know, you see in movies, like, a, a cute little grandma or a cute little grandpa

pulling out their wallet with like…

Yep, with the…

… whole long line of, like…

All the pictures.

Yeah. People watching this who are young probably don’t even know what I’m talking about

right now.

Yep, yep, yep.

You should show a little picture showing that.

Well actually…

Yeah.

… it’s, it’s, it’s interesting again, you had mentioned something like that. Like,

when I teach, uh, a lot of even just the vocabulary that people have, like, we take it for granted,

even when you’re younger. So you’ll learn something like, like hang the phone up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now you’re pushing a button on the phone.

Oh, so you’re not…

But it’s because…

… like hanging it…

Yeah, so it used to be up on a wall and you…

Ah.

… would actually hang something up. Or like…

Yeah.

… a, a dial that you would turn on…

That makes sense.

So now it’s a switch…

Oh.

… that you, like, flip back and forth or push a button. But before…

Yeah.

… I mean, old televisions, like, you remember an old television? It just had the power;

the power dial was the channel dial…

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

… as well. So, you would turn it on, turn the chann, so we would say turn the channel.

Oh.

Because it was a dial.

Oh.

And so now you’re…

I remember that for a very short period…

Yeah.

… of time. Yeah.

So, it use, used to be like that. And you know, like, but again, we have things like

that that come from those…

Mm-hmm.

… you know, older, olden days…

The olden days…

The olden days.

… as, as these young, these young ladies like to call it. But, it’s great…

Yeah.

… great to get your, your fresh perspectives on what’s happening…

Yeah.

… with the dating scene and what, what men and women are up to these days. I need to

get more…

Yeah.

… another, another young buck over here.

Right. I think…

Talk about what’s going on.

… can I say, like, one pro tip?

Yeah, yeah.

If it, if they take away anything from this…

Mm-hmm.

… um, men or women, like, if you just approach somebody and you’re genuine. You’re not

trying to, like, look for anything out of somebody and just treat them like a person.

Uh-huh.

…

I mean, that’s like, yeah. That’s a huge turn on. Like, because…

Yeah?

… I feel like attacked if, like, a guy is being sleazy, or I can see in his eyes he,

like, wants something more. This is gonna end, and like him asking for my number. It’s

just, like, socially exhausting.

You can tell if he’s like a, if he’s like a hit it and quit it kind of…

Yeah.

… kind of guy, or whatever?

It’s awkward.

Yeah, it is.

Yeah.

It’s like…

Or you can see what’s happening in their brain. But if you’re just genuine, like,

“Hey, what’s up. Like, I really like your dress.” Or, like, that tie you’re wearing.

Like…

Like, the tie you’re wearing.

Yeah. And just, like…

Yeah.

… be genuine about it.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

And don’t expect anything. Don’t expect anything. That’s what I want to say. Don’t

expect…

Yeah.

… anything from the other person ever.

Sure to…

Ouch.

Just be…

… if you don’t expect anything, you’re sure to…

Get something.

… be more successful.

I see.

It’s amazing.

All right. Well, like, you, you men out there, play it safe. Be kind to the ladies, you know,

or at least let them know, like, can I, you know, can I graze your, your chest or like,

you know? Some like you to ask…

Ask permission.

… ask politely, ask permission.

Yeah.

Uh, but wanna, wanna, I’ll leave it here. There’s a lot more that we could talk about,

but I think that’s a lot of interesting things to jump into there. Uh, but I wish

both of you well with your respective…

Thank you.

… dating, dating lives and professional lives as well.

Yes.

Arigatou gozaimasu

Uh, yeah. Well hopefully I got some interesting, uh, vocabulary and tips in there for you.

But, we’ll leave it here for now, and I’ll be back in just a minute for the Special Mission

Homework assignment. Maybe I’ll send you out dating or something like that. Do something

interesting…

Check out some apps.

Try this on a date. Hey Drew, high five.

Oh…

…

… yeah, well, yeah. You, you could, you could do some, she was, she was telling us…

Or a pound of ice cream.

Ice cream cone.

I can’t see it from that angle.

There ya go.

Ice cream cone.

Some different, different ways of interacting…

Yeah.

… with people over here. That might be a generational thing.

Yeah.

But, you see, see, see who that works with. But anyway, so we’ll…

Yeah, anyways…

… close it down for now. And I’ll see you back in here soon. Bye bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Well that’s the end of this conversation. I hope you did enjoy it. For your Special

Mission Homework assignment tonight, uh, or this month, what I’d like you to do, there

are actually two things. The first one is just going back and reviewing the conversation

because we had a really, a special opportunity this month with two speakers in addition to

myself, that we get to speak with. So there are lots of opportunities where people are

trying to find their turn in the conversation. And this is something that you develop as

you speak. It’s the same thing in your native language, but there are certain language patterns,

ways of expressing yourself or certain words that people use right before they’re done

speaking. Or it could be maybe a pause and a thought or something that this gives the

other person in the conversation, or if there are more than one person, uh, more than peep,

more than one person, uh, in the conversation who are also waiting.

So go back and look for this in the conversation. And this is really just to, to develop that

sense of listening for when a conversation point, uh, someone is saying something and

then maybe they’re going to stop talking so you can make your point after that. Uh,

but go back and watch when the conversation switches. So the speakers, uh, it switches

from one person to the next. And then just go back a little bit and see what was being

said right before that happens. Now it happens a lot throughout the conversation, but just

pay attention to that.

The other part of your homework assignment more connected with this month’s theme,

uh, this month’s theme, is to go out and watch some kind of romantic comedy movie.

Now you could watch something maybe, uh, even just a TV show like an episode of some TV

show you like that has to do with, like, a love thing or a relationship or dating thing,

something like that. But just so you can listen for this kind of vocabulary. So even if you

don’t understand everything, exactly like we do in Master English Conversation and The

Fluency Course, what you’re really doing is just focusing on one thing at a time. I

know you want to be able to use every kind of grammar point very well or use every kind

of phrase exactly when you want to say it. But it takes time to do that.

So that’s why each month, we just focus on one particular grammar point. You focus

on that, and then even there are plenty other grammar points you’ll find in these lessons,

we just want you to focus on that one.

So take your time. Really listen for this vocabulary. Uh, you could even, you know,

take a movie, something like that and learn it in the same way that you’re doing this.

So you could just go through a couple of sections of it. Most movies, you can find the script

of them online. So you can even, uh, search for a particular romantic comedy movie, find

the script online. Just type in Google or wherever, “script for…” You know, whatever

the name of that movie is. Uh, and then when you find the script, you can, you can even

just do searching for, uh, specific words right in that online script. So if you’re

just looking at it in your browser, uh, you can take some of the vocabulary that you’ve

learned this month in the lessons, and then just look for those particular words and then

see where that appears in the movie. And then you can go to that section of the movie and

watch those things as well.

So it should be a lot of fun. Uh, and if you can, you can also find fan sites for these

kind of movies or even if you go to IMDB.com. This is the Internet Movie Database. And usually

you can even start by picking a movie that has lots of people commenting, and you can

again, speak specifically about that movie or talk about, uh, maybe something interesting

that you liked about it or ask other fans questions about it. Again, the more you go

deep into the conversation, you know, whatever you’re talking about. Maybe it’s a specific

movie or something else, it doesn’t really matter. But the point is that you’re going

deeper into that, and that’s what’s going to get you closer to fluency.

Well, that’s it for this month. So go back and do those two things. One, again, going

back. Reviewing the lesson, looking for that where you can, uh, get in and out of people

speaking because of the, the specific words they’re using or maybe the pause or the

body language that they’re using to let other person, uh, to let the other person

know that you can get into the conversation or to, uh, to start speaking because one person’s

not going to say anything after that. And then also look for some kind of romantic comedy

movie.

So part of that is watching it to get connected with the vocabulary and seeing it in something

like a movie. But also if you can connect with other people, that’s ideal as well.

So maybe even find some other people who enjoy learning English, or just like those kinds

of movies, and watch it with them. And say, “Hey, like you know, I want to watch a movie

with you, and this could be a great thing to watch.” Anyway, that’s the end of this

lesson. I hope you have enjoyed it and I look forward to seeing you next month. Bye bye.