IELTS & TOEFL Writing: 5 Common Mistakes

711,570 views ใƒป 2016-05-24

Adamโ€™s English Lessons


ไธ‹ใฎ่‹ฑ่ชžๅญ—ๅน•ใ‚’ใƒ€ใƒ–ใƒซใ‚ฏใƒชใƒƒใ‚ฏใ™ใ‚‹ใจๅ‹•็”ปใ‚’ๅ†็”Ÿใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ ็ฟป่จณใ•ใ‚ŒใŸๅญ—ๅน•ใฏๆฉŸๆขฐ็ฟป่จณใงใ™ใ€‚

00:01
Hi. Welcome again to www.engvid.com. I'm Adam. Today's lesson, we're looking at IELTS and TOEFL,
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ใ‚„ใ‚ใ€‚ www.engvid.com ใธใ‚ˆใ†ใ“ใใ€‚ ็งใฏใ‚ขใƒ€ใƒ ใงใ™ใ€‚ ไปŠๆ—ฅใฎใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใงใฏใ€IELTS ใจ TOEFL
00:08
the writing section, and we're going to look at the five most common mistakes that
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ใฎใƒฉใ‚คใƒ†ใ‚ฃใƒณใ‚ฐ ใ‚ปใ‚ฏใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใซ ๆณจ็›ฎใ—ใ€
00:13
I see when I'm checking students' essays. Okay? Now, as usual, for the IELTS and TOEFL
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็”Ÿๅพ’ใฎไฝœๆ–‡ใ‚’ใƒใ‚งใƒƒใ‚ฏใ™ใ‚‹ใจใใซใ‚ˆใ่ฆ‹ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใ‚‹ 5 ใคใฎ้–“้•ใ„ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใฆใ„ใใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ใ•ใฆใ€ใ„ใคใ‚‚ใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ€IELTS ใจ TOEFL ใฎ
00:20
lesson, I will speak a little bit more natural speed, a little bit faster than usual. If
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ใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใงใฏใ€ใ‚‚ใ†ๅฐ‘ใ—่‡ช็„ถใช ้€Ÿใ•ใงใ€ใ„ใคใ‚‚ใ‚ˆใ‚Šๅฐ‘ใ—้€Ÿใ่ฉฑใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
00:26
you're a beginner, don't worry. Watch the video, listen, practice your listening. Get
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ๅˆๅฟƒ่€…ใฎๆ–นใงใ‚‚ใ”ๅฎ‰ๅฟƒใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใ‚’่ฆ‹ใฆใ€่žใ„ใฆใ€ใƒชใ‚นใƒ‹ใƒณใ‚ฐใ‚’็ทด็ฟ’ใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
00:30
the vocabulary you need.
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ๅฟ…่ฆใช่ชžๅฝ™ใ‚’ๅ–ๅพ—ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
00:32
It's all... It's good for everybody, but just a little bit harder. Okay?
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ใใ‚Œใฏใ™ในใฆใงใ™.ใใ‚Œใฏ่ชฐใซใจใฃใฆใ‚‚่‰ฏใ„ใ“ใจใงใ™ ใŒใ€ๅฐ‘ใ—ใ ใ‘้›ฃใ—ใ„ใงใ™. ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
00:37
So, now, where do I begin? I check a lot of essays. Okay? People send me their essays,
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ใ•ใฆใ€ใฉใ“ใ‹ใ‚‰ๅง‹ใ‚ใพใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ ใŸใใ•ใ‚“ใฎใ‚จใƒƒใ‚ปใ‚คใ‚’ใƒใ‚งใƒƒใ‚ฏใ—ใฆใ„ ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ไบบใ€…ใฏ็งใซใ‚จใƒƒใ‚ปใ‚คใ‚’้€ใฃใฆใใ‚Œใ€็งใฏ
00:43
I check them, I edit them, I tell them what they're doing wrong, and I've come to the
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ใใ‚Œใ‚‰ใ‚’ใƒใ‚งใƒƒใ‚ฏใ—ใ€็ทจ้›†ใ—ใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒ ไฝ•ใ‚’
00:48
realization that there are certain mistakes that many, many people make. So, I want to
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้–“้•ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚’ไผใˆ ใ€ๅคšใใฎไบบใŒ้–“้•ใ„ใ‚’็Šฏใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใซๆฐ—ใฅใใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ ใใ“ใงใ€
00:53
tell you five of these common mistakes so that you can avoid making them. Okay?
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ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎใ‚ˆใใ‚ใ‚‹้–“้•ใ„ใ‚’ 5 ใค็ดนไป‹ใ— ใฆใ€ใใ‚Œใ‚‰ใ‚’้ฟใ‘ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ—ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
00:58
And the first one-and this is the most common mistake that I see-is that you are trying
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1 ใค็›ฎใฏใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ็งใŒ็›ฎใซใ™ใ‚‹ๆœ€ใ‚‚ไธ€่ˆฌ็š„ใช ้–“้•ใ„ใงใ™ใŒใ€้ ‘ๅผตใ‚Šใ™ใŽใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™
01:04
too hard. Now, what does this mean? Trying hard is a good thing, right? Yes, it is. But
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ใ€‚ ใ•ใฆใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใฏใฉใ†ใ„ใ†ๆ„ๅ‘ณใงใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ ้ ‘ๅผตใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏใ„ใ„ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ‚ˆใญ๏ผŸ ใฏใ„ใ€ใใ†ใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€
01:09
you're trying too hard to sound impressive. Okay? You're trying to impress the graders
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏๅฐ่ฑก็š„ใซ่žใ“ใˆใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซไธ€็”Ÿๆ‡ธๅ‘ฝๅŠชๅŠ›ใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎๆŽก็‚น่€…ใซๆ„Ÿ้Š˜ใ‚’ไธŽใˆใ‚ˆใ†ใจใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™
01:16
of these... Of these exams, IELTS and TOEFL, you think that by using big words or lots
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... ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎ่ฉฆ้จ“ใ€IELTS ใจ TOEFL ใฎไธญใงใ€ ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใ€ๅคงใใชๅ˜่ชžใ‚„ๅคšใ
01:21
of idioms, or very, very long sentences that are very complex and have many clauses that
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ใฎใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚ชใƒ ใ€ใพใŸใฏ ้žๅธธใซ่ค‡้›‘ใงๅคšใใฎๅฅใ‚’ๅซใ‚€้žๅธธใซ้•ทใ„ๆ–‡็ซ ใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จใ™ใ‚‹
01:27
you're getting a higher score. In fact, most of the times, you're actually hurting yourselves.
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ใ“ใจใงใ€ ใ‚ˆใ‚Š้ซ˜ใ„ใ‚นใ‚ณใ‚ขใ‚’็ฒๅพ—ใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ๅฎŸ้š›ใ€ใปใจใ‚“ใฉ ใฎๅ ดๅˆใ€ๅฎŸ้š›ใซ่‡ชๅˆ†่‡ช่บซใ‚’ๅ‚ทใคใ‘ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
01:33
Why? Because you're using words incorrectly, you're using them inappropriately, meaning
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ใชใ‚“ใง๏ผŸ ๅ˜่ชžใ‚’้–“้•ใฃใฆไฝฟ็”จใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใ€ๅ˜่ชž ใ‚’ไธ้ฉๅˆ‡ใซไฝฟ็”จใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
01:38
in the wrong context or the wrong usage or in the wrong parts of speech; you're using
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ใคใพใ‚Šใ€้–“้•ใฃใŸๆ–‡่„ˆใ€้–“้•ใฃใŸ็”จๆณ•ใ€ใพใŸใฏ้–“้•ใฃใŸๅ“่ฉžใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ ใ€‚
01:43
a verb when you should use a noun, etc. When you write very, very long sentences, quite
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ๅ่ฉžใชใฉใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จใ™ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใจใใซๅ‹•่ฉžใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ้žๅธธใซ้•ทใ„ๆ–‡ใ‚’ๆ›ธใใจใใ€้žๅธธใซ
01:49
often, you have run-on sentences, mean... Meaning you have two independent clauses in
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ๅคšใใฎๅ ดๅˆใ€้€ฃ็ถšใ—ใŸๆ–‡ใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ใคใพใ‚Šใ€1 ใคใฎๆ–‡ใซ 2 ใคใฎ็‹ฌ็ซ‹ใ—ใŸๅฅใŒ
01:54
one sentence, and no punctuation, and no conjunctions, and then the whole sentence falls apart and
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ใ‚ใ‚Šใ€ใชใ„ใจใ„ใ†ๆ„ๅ‘ณใงใ™ใ€‚ ๅฅ่ชญ็‚นใŒใชใใ€ๆŽฅ็ถš่ฉžใŒใชใ„ ๅ ดๅˆใ€ๆ–‡ๅ…จไฝ“ใŒใƒใƒฉใƒใƒฉใซใชใ‚Šใ€
02:00
means nothing. And also, a lot of people use idioms because... Yeah, idioms will get you
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ๆ„ๅ‘ณใŒใชใใชใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ใพใŸใ€ๅคšใใฎไบบใŒใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚ชใƒ ใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ ใŸใ‚... ใˆใˆใ€ใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚ชใƒ ใฏ
02:05
extra points, but they're using them incorrectly or in the wrong context. Again, make sure
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ไฝ™ๅˆ†ใชใƒใ‚คใƒณใƒˆใ‚’็ฒๅพ—ใ—ใพใ™ใŒใ€ใใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฏ้–“้•ใฃใฆไฝฟ็”จใ•ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใ‚‹ ใ‹ใ€้–“้•ใฃใŸใ‚ณใƒณใƒ†ใ‚ญใ‚นใƒˆใงไฝฟ็”จใ•ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใพใ™. ็นฐใ‚Š่ฟ”ใ—ใซใชใ‚Š
02:10
you know the words you're using, make sure you know the idioms you're using, and shorter
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ใพใ™ใŒใ€ไฝฟ็”จใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ๅ˜่ชžใจๆ…ฃ็”จๅฅใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็ขบ่ชใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„
02:15
sentences can actually be better. Simple is often better than complex. If you think about...
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ใ€‚ๅฎŸ้š›ใซใฏใ€็Ÿญใ„ๆ–‡ใฎๆ–นใŒๅ„ชใ‚Œใฆใ„ใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ๅคšใใฎๅ ดๅˆใ€ๅ˜็ด”ใช ๆ–นใŒ่ค‡้›‘ใงใ™ใ€‚ ่€ƒใˆใฆใฟใ‚‹ใจ
02:21
As an analogy, if you think about cooking, the more spices you put into the dish, the
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... ไพ‹ใˆใจใ—ใฆใ€ๆ–™็†ใซใคใ„ใฆ่€ƒใˆใ‚‹ใจ ใ€ๆ–™็†ใซๅ…ฅใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ‚นใƒ‘ใ‚คใ‚นใŒๅคšใ„ใปใฉ
02:26
less you taste the actual meat or the actual core of the dish. Simple is best.
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ใ€ๅฎŸ้š›ใฎ่‚‰ใ‚„ๆ–™็†ใฎๅฎŸ้š›ใฎๆ ธใ‚’ๅ‘ณใ‚ใ†ใ“ใจใŒๅฐ‘ใชใใชใ‚Šใพใ™ . ใ‚ทใƒณใƒ—ใƒซใ‚คใ‚บใƒ™ใ‚นใƒˆใ€‚
02:31
Let me give you an example. Here are two sentences. Okay? Let me read them to you.
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ไพ‹ใ‚’ๆŒ™ใ’ใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚ ใ“ใ“ใซ 2 ใคใฎ ๆ–‡ใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ใใ‚Œใ‚‰ใ‚’ใ‚ใชใŸใซ่ชญใพใ›ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
02:37
"The CEO", Chief Executive Officer, like the head of the company... "The CEO's tenure at the company
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ใ€Œๆœ€้ซ˜็ตŒๅ–ถ่ฒฌไปป่€…ใ€ใ€ๆœ€้ซ˜็ตŒๅ–ถ่ฒฌไปป่€…ใ€ไผš็คพใฎ้•ทใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใช ... ใ€Œไผš็คพใงใฎCEOใฎๅœจ่ทๆœŸ้–“ใฏใ€ใ‚ˆใ‚Šๅคšใใฎๅฅณๆ€งใ‚’ไธŠ็ดš็ฎก็†่ท
02:43
was abbreviated due to his reluctance to integrate more females into upper managerial posts,
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ใซ็ตฑๅˆใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใซๆถˆๆฅต็š„ใ ใฃใŸใŸใ‚ใ€็Ÿญ็ธฎใ•ใ‚Œใพใ—
02:49
thereby drawing the ire of the Board who consequently relieved him of his duties."
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ใŸใ€‚ ๅฝผใฏๅฝผใฎ็พฉๅ‹™ใ‚’ๆžœใŸใ—ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ใ€
02:55
Now, this sentence is perfectly okay. It's grammatically correct, all the words are being used correctly, but
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ใ•ใฆใ€ใ“ใฎๆ–‡ใฏใพใฃใŸใๅ•้กŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ๆ–‡ๆณ•็š„ใซใฏ ๆญฃใ—ใใ€ใ™ในใฆใฎๅ˜่ชžใŒๆญฃใ—ใไฝฟ็”จใ•ใ‚Œใฆใ„
03:03
if you can write a sentence like this the way that I wrote it here, then you don't need
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ใพใ™ใŒใ€ใ“ใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใชๆ–‡็ซ ใ‚’ใ“ใ“ใงๆ›ธใ„ใŸใ‚ˆใ†ใซๆ›ธใใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚Œใฐ
03:08
to worry about the IELTS or the TOEFL; your English is obviously very high level. If you
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ใ€IELTS ใ‚„ TOEFL ใซใคใ„ใฆๅฟƒ้…ใ™ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใ‚ใชใŸใฎ ่‹ฑ่ชžใฏๆ˜Žใ‚‰ใ‹ใซ้žๅธธใซ้ซ˜ใ„ใƒฌใƒ™ใƒซใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ“ใ‚ŒใŒ
03:12
can do this, then this test will be very easy for you.
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ใงใใ‚Œใฐใ€ใ“ใฎใƒ†ใ‚นใƒˆ ใฏ้žๅธธใซ็ฐกๅ˜ใซใชใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
03:15
However, a lot of people, a lot of test-takers try to write this sentence, and then they
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ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ๅคšใใฎไบบใ€ๅคšใใฎๅ—้จ“่€…ใŒ ใ“ใฎๆ–‡็ซ ใ‚’ๆ›ธใ“ใ†ใจใ—ใฆ
03:21
end up making many, many mistakes. They don't use this word correctly: "abbreviated", they
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ใ€ๅคšใใฎ้–“้•ใ„ใ‚’็Šฏใ—ใฆใ—ใพใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏ ใ“ใฎๅ˜่ชžใ‚’ๆญฃใ—ใไฝฟ็”จใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ›ใ‚“: "abbreviated", ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏ
03:27
say: "abbreviation". Okay? That's the more common thing of it. "Abbreviated" means made
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่จ€ใ„ใพใ™: "abbreviation". ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ใใ‚Œใฏใใ‚Œใฎใ‚ˆใ‚Š ไธ€่ˆฌ็š„ใชใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ€Œ็œ็•ฅใ€ใจใฏใ€็Ÿญใใ™ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ๆ„ๅ‘ณ
03:32
shorter. Okay? "Reluctance", hesitance, like not really wanting to. This word: "ire". I
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ใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ใ€Œๆฐ—ใŒ้€ฒใพใชใ„ใ€ใ€่บŠ่บ‡ใ™ใ‚‹ใ€ ๆœฌๅฝ“ใฏใ—ใŸใใชใ„ใ€ใฟใŸใ„ใชใ€‚ ใ“ใฎ่จ€่‘‰๏ผšใ€Œใ„ใ‚‰ใ„ใ‚‰ใ€ใ€‚ ็ง
03:41
write all the time, I write for a living. I never use this word "ire", because it's
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ใฏใ„ใคใ‚‚ๆ›ธใ„ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€็งใฏ็”Ÿ่จˆใ‚’็ซ‹ใฆใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ็งใฏใ“ใฎใ€Œๆ€’ใ‚Šใ€ใจใ„ใ†่จ€่‘‰ใ‚’ๆฑบใ—ใฆไฝฟใ„ใพใ›ใ‚“
03:45
so old-fashioned. And also, it's a small word. Right? So you don't need many syllables, you
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ใ€‚ ใพใŸใ€ใใ‚Œใฏๅฐใ•ใช่จ€่‘‰ใงใ™ใ€‚ ๅณ๏ผŸ ใงใ™ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€ๅคšใใฎ้Ÿณ็ฏ€ใฏๅฟ…่ฆใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ—ใ€
03:51
don't need very rare words. You need to be simple, you need to get your message across.
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้žๅธธใซ็ใ—ใ„ๅ˜่ชžใ‚‚ๅฟ…่ฆใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใ‚ทใƒณใƒ—ใƒซใงใ‚ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใ€ใƒกใƒƒใ‚ปใƒผใ‚ธใ‚’ไผใˆใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚
03:56
The most important part of the test is: Answer the question. They give you a task, answer
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ใƒ†ใ‚นใƒˆใฎๆœ€ใ‚‚้‡่ฆใช้ƒจๅˆ†ใฏๆฌกใฎใจใŠใ‚Š ใงใ™ใ€‚่ณชๅ•ใซ็ญ”ใˆใพใ™ใ€‚ ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏใ‚ใชใŸใซใ‚ฟใ‚นใ‚ฏใ‚’ไธŽใˆใ€ใใ‚Œใซ็ญ”ใˆ
04:02
it. Answer it clearly, concisely. Means: Use fewer words, not more words. If you can say
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ใพใ™ใ€‚ ๆ˜Ž็ขบใซใ€็ฐกๆฝ”ใซ็ญ”ใˆใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ๆ„ๅ‘ณ: ๅ˜่ชžใ‚’ๅข—ใ‚„ใ™ใฎใงใฏใชใใ€ๅ˜่ชžใ‚’ๆธ›ใ‚‰ใ™ใ€‚
04:08
the same thing in fewer words, get the message across, make it clear, make the reader interested,
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ๅŒใ˜ใ“ใจใ‚’ใ‚ˆใ‚Šๅฐ‘ใชใ„่จ€่‘‰ใง่จ€ใ„ใ€ใƒกใƒƒใ‚ปใƒผใ‚ธ ใ‚’ไผใˆใ€ๆ˜Ž็ขบใซใ—ใ€่ชญ่€…ใฎ่ˆˆๅ‘ณใ‚’ๅผ•ใ
04:14
then you'll get higher points than if you write something like this. Okay?
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ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚Œ ใฐใ€ใ“ใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใชใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ›ธใใ‚ˆใ‚Šใ‚‚ใƒใ‚คใƒณใƒˆใŒ้ซ˜ใใชใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
04:18
Let's look at this sentence:
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ใ“ใฎๆ–‡ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใฆใฟใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
04:20
"The CEO's time was cut short because he wouldn't promote
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ใ€ŒCEO ใฎๆ™‚้–“ใฏ็Ÿญ็ธฎใ•ใ‚Œใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ ใชใœใชใ‚‰ใ€ๅฝผใฏๅฅณๆ€งใ‚’ใƒˆใƒƒใƒ—ใฎๅœฐไฝใซๆ˜‡้€ฒใ•ใ›ใ‚ˆใ†ใจใ—ใชใ‹ใฃ
04:23
women to top positions, which angered the Board who then fired him."
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ใŸใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™ใ€‚ใใ‚ŒใŒๅ–็ท ๅฝนไผšใ‚’ๆ€’ใ‚‰ใ›ใ€ๅ–็ท ๅฝนไผšใฏๅฝผใ‚’่งฃ้›‡ใ—ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ใ€
04:28
Okay, look at the two sentences. This sentence means exactly the same thing as this sentence.
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ใ•ใฆใ€2ใคใฎๆ–‡ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ใ“ใฎๆ–‡ ใฏใ€ใ“ใฎๆ–‡ใจใพใฃใŸใๅŒใ˜ๆ„ๅ‘ณใงใ™ใ€‚
04:36
Much shorter, much simpler words, much more direct delivery of the message. Now, "tenure", "time", same
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ใฏใ‚‹ใ‹ใซ็Ÿญใใ€ใ‚ˆใ‚Šๅ˜็ด”ใช่จ€่‘‰ ใงใ€ใƒกใƒƒใ‚ปใƒผใ‚ธใ‚’ใ‚ˆใ‚Š็›ดๆŽฅ็š„ใซไผใˆใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ•ใฆใ€ใ€Œๅœจ่ทๆœŸ้–“ใ€ใ€ใ€Œๆ™‚้–“ใ€ใ€ๅŒใ˜
04:46
thing. Tenure's a nice word, but if you're not going to use it correctly, then you're
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ใ“ใจใ€‚ ๅœจ่ทๆœŸ้–“ใฏใ„ใ„่จ€่‘‰ใงใ™ใŒ ใ€ใใ‚Œใ‚’ๆญฃใ—ใไฝฟ็”จใ—ใชใ„ใจใ€
04:50
going to lose points; not gain points. Better to write "time", and get the message across,
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ใƒใ‚คใƒณใƒˆใ‚’ๅคฑใ†ใ“ใจใซใชใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ใƒใ‚คใƒณใƒˆใ‚’็ฒๅพ—ใ—ใชใ„ใ€‚
04:56
than to write "tenure" and use a word incorrectly, which means you don't actually know it, and
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ใ€Œๅœจ่ทๆœŸ้–“ใ€ใจๆ›ธใ„ใฆๅ˜่ชžใ‚’้–“้•ใฃใฆไฝฟ็”จใ™ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ‚Šใ‚‚ใ€ใ€Œๆ™‚้–“ใ€ใจๆ›ธใ„ใฆใƒกใƒƒใ‚ปใƒผใ‚ธใ‚’ไผใˆใ‚‹ใปใ† ใŒใ‚ˆใ„ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†
05:02
you make the whole sentence confusing to the reader. So you're actually doing two bad things.
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ใ€‚ ใคใพใ‚Šใ€ๅฎŸ้š›ใซใฏ 2 ใคใฎๆ‚ชใ„ใ“ใจใ‚’ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚
05:07
We call this a "double-whammy", in case you need extra expressions.
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่ฟฝๅŠ ใฎ่กจ็พใŒๅฟ…่ฆใชๅ ดๅˆใซๅ‚™ใˆใฆใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚’ใ€Œใƒ€ใƒ–ใƒซใƒฏใƒผใƒŸใƒผใ€ใจๅ‘ผใณใพใ™ใ€‚
05:14
A double-whammy means
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ไบŒ้‡่‹ฆใจใฏใ€
05:16
you're hurting yourself twice. Okay? So don't do that.
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ใ‚ใชใŸใŒไบŒๅบฆ่‡ชๅˆ†ใ‚’ๅ‚ทใคใ‘ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€ใใ‚Œใ‚’ใ—ใชใ„ใงใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
05:20
"Ire", just say "angered". Now, if you can use the word "angered", this is a high-end word.
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ใ€Œๆ€’ใ‚‹ใ€ใ€ใ€Œๆ€’ใ‚‹ใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ใ•ใฆใ€ ใ€Œๆ€’ใ‚Šใ€ใจใ„ใ†่จ€่‘‰ใ‚’ไฝฟใˆใ‚‹ใจใ—ใŸใ‚‰ใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ้ซ˜็ดšใช่จ€่‘‰ใงใ™ใ€‚
05:26
Now, you're thinking: "Angry? 'Angry' is not a high-end word." Yes, but I didn't
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ไปŠใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใ“ใ†่€ƒใˆใฆใ„ใพใ™๏ผšใ€Œๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹๏ผŸใ€Žๆ€’ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€ ใจใ„ใ†่จ€่‘‰ใฏ้ซ˜็ดšใช่จ€่‘‰ใงใฏใชใ„ใ€ ใฏใ„ใ€ใงใ‚‚ใ€Œๆ€’ใ‚‹ใ€ใจใฏ่จ€ใ„ใพใ›ใ‚“ใงใ—ใŸ
05:30
say "angry". I said "angered". If you could show the graders that you know this word so
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ใ€‚ ็งใฏใ€Œๆ€’ใฃใŸใ€ใจ่จ€ใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ ๆŽก็‚น่€…ใซใ€ใ“ใฎๅ˜่ชžใ‚’
05:35
well that you know how to use it as a verb... Because most people don't. Most people only
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ๅ‹•่ฉžใจใ—ใฆไฝฟ็”จใ™ใ‚‹ๆ–นๆณ•ใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใปใฉใ‚ˆใ็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็คบใ™ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚Œใฐ ... ใปใจใ‚“ใฉใฎไบบใฏ็Ÿฅใ‚‰ใชใ„ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™. ใปใจใ‚“ใฉใฎไบบใฏ
05:39
know "angry" or "anger", the noun. Very few people use this word as a verb. Use this word
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ใ€Œๆ€’ใ‚Šใ€ใพใŸใฏใ€Œๆ€’ใ‚Šใ€ใจใ„ใ†ๅ่ฉžใ—ใ‹็Ÿฅใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใ“ใฎๅ˜่ชžใ‚’ๅ‹•่ฉžใจใ—ใฆไฝฟใ†ไบบใฏใปใจใ‚“ใฉใ„ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใ“ใฎๅ˜่ชž
05:46
as a verb, and you have your high-end vocabulary, you get your extra points. Use "ire" incorrectly
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ใ‚’ๅ‹•่ฉžใจใ—ใฆไฝฟ็”จใ™ใ‚‹ใจใ€ใƒใ‚คใ‚จใƒณใƒ‰ใฎ่ชžๅฝ™ ใŒๅพ—ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใ€่ฟฝๅŠ ใฎใƒใ‚คใƒณใƒˆใŒๅพ—ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ€Œๆ€’ใ‚Šใ€ใ‚’้–“้•ใฃใฆไฝฟ็”จใ™ใ‚‹
05:52
and you're actually losing points. Okay? Same idea, fewer words, simple words, the message
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ใจใ€ๅฎŸ้š›ใซใƒใ‚คใƒณใƒˆใ‚’ๅคฑใ†ใ“ใจใซใชใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ๅŒใ˜ ่€ƒใˆใ€ใ‚ˆใ‚Šๅฐ‘ใชใ„่จ€่‘‰ใ€ๅ˜็ด”ใช่จ€่‘‰ใ€ใƒกใƒƒใ‚ปใƒผใ‚ธ
05:59
is clear and to the point.
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ใฏๆ˜Ž็ขบใง็š„ใ‚’ๅฐ„ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
06:01
Now, for some reason people love this idiom:
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ใ•ใฆใ€ใฉใ†ใ„ใ†ใ‚ใ‘ใ‹ใ€ ไบบใ€…ใฏใ“ใฎๆ…ฃ็”จๅฅ
06:08
"a double-edged sword". Everything is a double-edged sword.
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ใ€Œไธกๅˆƒใฎๅ‰ฃใ€ใ‚’ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ™ในใฆ ใŒไธกๅˆƒใฎๅ‰ฃใงใ™ใ€‚
06:11
The problem with a double-edged sword is that there's two sides to it, and most
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ไธกๅˆƒใฎๅ‰ฃใฎๅ•้กŒใฏใ€ ใใ‚Œใซใฏ 2 ใคใฎๅด้ขใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ‚ใ‚Šใ€ใปใจใ‚“ใฉใฎ
06:17
people don't realize that. Right? If you're going to use an idiom, make sure you're using
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ไบบใฏใใฎใ“ใจใซๆฐ—ใฅใ„ใฆใ„ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ๅณ๏ผŸ ใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚ชใƒ ใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จใ™ใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใฏใ€ๆญฃใ—ใไฝฟ็”จใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็ขบ่ชใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„
06:21
it correctly. So, this idiom, "a double-edged sword" means that something, or a situation,
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ใ€‚ ใคใพใ‚Šใ€ใ“ใฎใ€Œ่ซธๅˆƒใฎ ๅ‰ฃใ€ใจใ„ใ†ใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚ชใƒ ใฏใ€ไฝ•ใ‹ใ€็Šถๆณใ€
06:26
or an action has both a positive side and a negative side. So if you're going to use
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ใพใŸใฏ่กŒๅ‹•ใซใƒ—ใƒฉใ‚น้ขใจ ใƒžใ‚คใƒŠใ‚น้ขใฎไธกๆ–นใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ—ใŸใŒใฃใฆใ€ใ“ใฎใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚ชใƒ ใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จใ™ใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใฏ
06:32
this idiom, you better explain to the reader: What is the positive, what is the negative?
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ใ€่ชญ่€…ใซๆฌกใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซ่ชฌๆ˜Žใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ใŠๅ‹งใ‚ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใƒใ‚ธใƒ†ใ‚ฃใƒ–ใจใฏไฝ•ใ‹ใ€ใƒใ‚ฌใƒ†ใ‚ฃใƒ–ใจใฏไฝ•ใ‹?
06:37
Okay? So, this sentence is a double-edged sword. If you can write it like this, then
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ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ใงใ™ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€ใ“ใฎๆ–‡ใฏไธกๅˆƒใฎ ๅ‰ฃใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ“ใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซๆ›ธใใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚Œใฐ
06:43
yeah, you're getting a bonus point. But on the other side of it, if you write... If you
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ใ€ใƒœใƒผใƒŠใ‚นใƒใ‚คใƒณใƒˆใ‚’็ฒๅพ—ใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ ใงใ‚‚
06:48
make any mistakes in it, you're losing points. So be very careful with vocabulary, extra
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ใใฎๅ้ขใ€ๆ›ธใ„ใŸใ‚‰โ€ฆ ้–“้•ใˆใŸใ‚‰ๆธ›็‚นใ€‚ ใ—ใŸใŒใฃใฆใ€่ชžๅฝ™ใ€ๅฟ…่ฆใฎใชใ„ไฝ™ๅˆ†ใชๅ˜่ชžใ€ใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚ชใƒ ใซใฏๅๅˆ†ๆณจๆ„ใ—
06:54
words that you don't need, and idioms.
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ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ ใ€‚
06:56
Now, another thing: Long, complicated sentences. They don't need to be. Remember I said they're
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ใ•ใฆใ€ใ‚‚ใ†ไธ€ใค: ้•ทใใฆ่ค‡้›‘ใชๆ–‡็ซ ใงใ™ใ€‚ ใใ†ใงใ‚ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ็งใŒ่จ€ใฃใŸใฎใ‚’่ฆšใˆใฆใ„
07:02
run-on sentences? Now, another thing you have to worry about is redundancy. This is a big
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ใพใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ ใ“ใ“ใงใ€ใ‚‚ใ† 1 ใค ๅฟƒ้…ใ—ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚‰ใชใ„ใฎใฏใ€ๅ†—้•ทๆ€งใงใ™ใ€‚ ๅคง้›‘ๆŠŠใงใ™ใŒใ€
07:06
word, but I'll write it here. If something is redundant, it means it's unnecessary.
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ใ“ใ“ใซๆ›ธใ„ใฆใŠใใพใ™ใ€‚ ไฝ•ใ‹ ใŒๅ†—้•ทใงใ‚ใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใ€ใใ‚Œใฏไธ่ฆใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ„ๅ‘ณใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
07:14
"The CEO's tenure at the company", now, here you noticed I put "at the company". Here... Here,
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ใ€ŒCEOใฎไผš็คพใงใฎๅœจ่ทๆœŸ้–“ใ€ใ€ไปŠใ€ใ“ใ“ใงใ€Œไผš็คพใงใ€ใจๆ›ธใใพใ—ใŸ ใ€‚ ใ“ใ“...ใ“ใ“ใงใฏใ€
07:21
I didn't put "the company". Why? A CEO is a head of a company, it's understood that
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ใ€Œไผš็คพใ€ใ‚’ๅ…ฅใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใงใ—ใŸใ€‚ ใชใ‚“ใง๏ผŸ CEOใฏ ไผš็คพใฎ้•ทใงใ‚ใ‚Šใ€ไผš็คพใงใฎๆ™‚้–“ใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒ็†่งฃใ•ใ‚Œ
07:26
the time at the company. I don't actually need to say it. If you can use three words
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ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ็งใฏๅฎŸ้š›ใซ ใใ‚Œใ‚’่จ€ใ†ๅฟ…่ฆใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ไฝ•ใ‹ใ‚’่จ€ใ†ใฎใซ 3 ใคใฎๅ˜่ชžใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จใงใใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใฏ
07:32
to say something, don't use five. If you can use five, don't use 10. Less is more, just
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ใ€5 ใคใ‚’ไฝฟ็”จใ—ใชใ„ใงใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ 5ใคไฝฟใˆใ‚‹ใชใ‚‰10ใคไฝฟใ‚ใชใ„
07:39
like when you're putting on makeup. Another analogy, there, for you. Okay? So, this is
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ใ€‚ ใ‚ใชใŸใฎใŸใ‚ใซใ€ๅˆฅใฎ้กžๆŽจใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ใ—ใŸใŒใฃใฆใ€ใ“ใ‚Œ
07:43
the most common mistake. Let's look at a few more.
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ใฏๆœ€ใ‚‚ไธ€่ˆฌ็š„ใช้–“้•ใ„ใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ•ใ‚‰ใซใ„ใใคใ‹่ฆ‹ใฆใฟใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
07:46
Okay, so now we're a little bit busy, here, but I'll squeeze everything into one shot
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ใ•ใฆใ€ใ“ใ“ใงๅฐ‘ใ—ๅฟ™ใ—ใใชใ‚Šใพใ™ใŒใ€ ใ™ในใฆใ‚’ 1 ใคใฎ
07:51
so it's much easier for you. What I'm going to do, I'm going to begin by looking at a
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ใ‚ทใƒงใƒƒใƒˆใซ็ตžใ‚Š่พผใฟใพใ™ใ€‚ ็งใŒ ใ‚„ใ‚ใ†ใจใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏใ€
07:54
very classic task, either IELTS or TOEFL will give it to you. "Parents make the best teachers."
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IELTS ใ‹ TOEFL ใฎใฉใกใ‚‰ใ‹ใŒใ‚ใชใŸใซไธŽใˆใ‚‹้žๅธธใซๅคๅ…ธ็š„ใชใ‚ฟใ‚นใ‚ฏใ‚’่ฆ‹ใ‚‹ ใ“ใจใ‹ใ‚‰ๅง‹ใ‚ใ‚ˆใ†ใจใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ€Œ่ฆชใฏๆœ€้ซ˜ใฎๆ•™ๅธซใ‚’ไฝœใ‚‹ใ€‚ใ€
08:02
Do you agree or disagree? Okay. You had your introduction, we're talking about parents,
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ่ณ›ๆˆใงใ™ใ‹ใ€ๅๅฏพใงใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸใ€‚ ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใ‚ใชใŸใฎ ็ดนไป‹ใ‚’ใ—ใพใ—ใŸใ€็งใŸใกใฏ่ฆชใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€
08:08
we're talking about education, we're talking about children. Some people believe that parents
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็งใŸใกใฏๆ•™่‚ฒใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€็งใŸใกใฏ ๅญไพ›ใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹. ่ฆชใŒๆœ€้ซ˜ใ ใจไฟกใ˜ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ไบบใ‚‚ใ„ใ‚Œใฐ
08:12
are the best, some people believe teachers are the best. I think that... I agree that
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ใ€ๆ•™ๅธซใŒๆœ€้ซ˜ใ ใจไฟกใ˜ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ไบบ ใ‚‚ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
08:17
parents are the best teachers. Okay, your introduction's done.
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่ฆชใŒๆœ€้ซ˜ใฎๆ•™ๅธซใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใซๅŒๆ„ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ•ใฆใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฎ็ดนไป‹ใฏ็ต‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
08:20
Let's get into the first body paragraph. So, first, I'm going to read this to you. This
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ๆœฌๆ–‡ใฎๆœ€ๅˆใฎๆฎต่ฝใซๅ…ฅใ‚Šใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚ ใจใ„ใ†ใ‚ใ‘ใง ใ€ใพใšใฏใ“ใ‚Œใ‚’่ชญใ‚“ใงใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ“ใ‚Œ
08:25
is not a complete paragraph, but you'll get the idea.
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ใฏๅฎŒๅ…จใชๆฎต่ฝใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Š ใพใ›ใ‚“ใŒใ€ใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใฏๅพ—ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใพใ™ใ€‚
08:28
"Firstly, parents know their child best, including what he likes and doesn't like, such as books he likes to read, or favourite
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ใ€Œ็ฌฌไธ€ใซใ€่ฆชใฏๅญไพ›ใฎใ“ใจใ‚’ไธ€็•ชใ‚ˆใ็Ÿฅใฃใฆ ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ใใ‚Œใซใฏใ€ๅญไพ›ใŒๅฅฝใใชๆœฌใ‚„ๅฅฝใใช็ง‘ๅญฆใฎ่ฉฑ้กŒใชใฉใ€ๅญไพ›ใฎๅฅฝใใชใ‚‚ใฎใจๅซŒใ„ใชใ‚‚ใฎ
08:35
science topics. Parents can also talk to the child's teachers and find out from them how
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ใ‚‚ๅซใพใ‚Œใพใ™ใ€‚ใพใŸใ€่ฆชใฏ ๅญไพ›ใฎๆ•™ๅธซใจ่ฉฑใ—ใ€ๅญไพ›ใ‚’ๅŠฉใ‘ใ‚‹ๆ–นๆณ•ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใคใ‘ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚‚ใงใ
08:42
to help him at home. They can also monitor how much TV he watches, and cutting down on
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ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใพใŸ ใ€ๅฝผใŒใฉใฎใใ‚‰ใ„ใƒ†ใƒฌใƒ“ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚’็›ฃ่ฆ–ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚‚ใงใใพใ™ใ€‚
08:49
this might help his concentration."
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ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚’ๆธ›ใ‚‰ใ™ใ“ใจใงใ€ๅฝผใฎ้›†ไธญๅŠ›ใŒ้ซ˜ใพใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ ใ€‚ใ€
08:51
And on and on. Okay? I didn't give you the full paragraph.
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ใใ—ใฆใฉใ‚“ใฉใ‚“ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ็งใฏ ใ‚ใชใŸใซๅฎŒๅ…จใชๆฎต่ฝใ‚’ไธŽใˆใพใ›ใ‚“ใงใ—ใŸใ€‚
08:54
Not necessary; you'll understand what I'm getting at.
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ๅฟ…่ฆใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“; ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ ็งใŒไฝ•ใ‚’ๅพ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹็†่งฃใ™ใ‚‹ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚
08:57
So, common mistake number two: No topic sentence. If you look at this example, I don't know
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ใ—ใŸใŒใฃใฆใ€ใ‚ˆใใ‚ใ‚‹้–“้•ใ„ใใฎ 2 ใฏใ€ใƒˆใƒ”ใƒƒใ‚ฏ ใ‚ปใƒณใƒ†ใƒณใ‚นใŒใชใ„ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ“ใฎไพ‹ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใ‚‹ใจใ€
09:05
what this paragraph is about. Right? A topic sentence is your introduction sentence to
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ใ“ใฎๆฎต่ฝใŒไฝ•ใซใคใ„ใฆๆ›ธใ‹ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹ใ‚ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ๅณ๏ผŸ ใƒˆใƒ”ใƒƒใ‚ฏ ใ‚ปใƒณใƒ†ใƒณใ‚นใฏใ€ๆฎต่ฝใธใฎๅฐŽๅ…ฅๆ–‡
09:10
the paragraph. It's very important to remember that one paragraph has one central idea. Okay?
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ใงใ™ใ€‚ 1 ใคใฎใƒ‘ใƒฉใ‚ฐใƒฉใƒ•ใซใฏ 1 ใคใฎไธญๅฟƒ็š„ใชใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’่ฆšใˆใฆใŠใใ“ใจใฏ้žๅธธใซ้‡่ฆใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ
09:17
This central idea must be presented right at the beginning of the paragraph so the reader
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ใ“ใฎไธญๅฟƒ็š„ใชใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใฏ ใ€
09:22
knows what to expect. So, in this sentence, we're talking about parents know their child,
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่ชญ่€…ใŒไฝ•ใ‚’ๆœŸๅพ…ใ™ในใใ‹ใ‚’็†่งฃใงใใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ€ๆฎต่ฝใฎๆœ€ๅˆใซๆ็คบใ™ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ใคใพใ‚Šใ€ใ“ใฎๆ–‡ใง ใฏใ€่ฆชใŒ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๅญไพ›ใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ€ๅญไพ›ใฎ
09:29
they know what he likes and what he doesn't like, they know what books he likes, they
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ๅฅฝใใชใ‚‚ใฎใจๅซŒใ„ใชใ‚‚ใฎใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ€ๅญไพ›ใŒๅฅฝใใชๆœฌใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ€ๅญไพ› ใŒ
09:33
know what science topics he likes. What is this paragraph about? Is it about books? Is
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ๅฅฝใใช็ง‘ๅญฆใฎใƒˆใƒ”ใƒƒใ‚ฏใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹. ใ“ใฎๆฎต่ฝใฏไฝ•ใซใคใ„ใฆใงใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ ๆœฌใฎใ“ใจใงใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ
09:38
it about choosing his books or choosing his science topics? Is it about parents know their
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ๅฝผใฎๆœฌใ‚’้ธใถใ“ใจ ใงใ™ใ‹ใ€ใใ‚Œใจใ‚‚็ง‘ๅญฆใฎใƒˆใƒ”ใƒƒใ‚ฏใ‚’้ธใถใ“ใจใงใ™ใ‹? ่ฆชใŒ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๅญไพ›ใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹
09:43
child? Is it about what he likes, what he doesn't like? I'm assuming that it's: Parents
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ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ ใใ‚ŒใฏๅฝผใŒๅฅฝใใชใ“ใจใ€ๅซŒใ„ ใชใ“ใจใงใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ ่ฆช
09:48
know their child best. Okay? So it's about the parents' knowledge of the child. That
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ใฏ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๅญไพ›ใฎใ“ใจใ‚’ไธ€็•ชใ‚ˆใ็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€ใใ‚Œ ใฏๅญไพ›ใฎ่ฆชใฎ็Ÿฅ่ญ˜ใซใคใ„ใฆใงใ™ใ€‚ ใใ‚Œ
09:55
is what this paragraph is about. That is why they are the best teachers, because they know
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ใŒใ“ใฎๆฎต่ฝใฎๅ†…ๅฎนใงใ™ใ€‚ ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๅญไพ›ใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏๆœ€้ซ˜ใฎๆ•™ๅธซใงใ‚ใ‚‹็†็”ฑ
10:00
their child. Put a period here, and then start with your reasons. This is your topic sentence.
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ใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ“ใ“ใซใƒ”ใƒชใ‚ชใƒ‰ใ‚’ๅ…ฅใ‚Œ ใฆใ€็†็”ฑใ‹ใ‚‰ๅง‹ใ‚ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ใ“ใ‚Œใฏใ‚ใชใŸใฎใƒˆใƒ”ใƒƒใ‚ฏใ‚ปใƒณใƒ†ใƒณใ‚นใงใ™ใ€‚
10:08
This is what the paragraph is about. Stop, start giving me your support; start elaborating
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ใ“ใ‚ŒใŒๆฎต่ฝใฎๅ†…ๅฎนใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚„ใ‚ใฆใ€ ใ‚ใชใŸใฎใ‚ตใƒใƒผใƒˆใ‚’ๅง‹ใ‚ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
10:14
on this key point, and giving me the details, reasons, examples, etc.
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ใ“ใฎ้‡่ฆใช็‚น ใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉณใ—ใ่ชฌๆ˜Žใ—ใ€่ฉณ็ดฐใ€็†็”ฑใ€ไพ‹ใชใฉใ‚’ๆ•™ใˆใฆใใ ใ•ใ„
10:20
Too many ideas. So, this basically goes in line with the topic... No topic sentence.
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ใ€‚ใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใŒๅคšใ™ใŽใพใ™ใ€‚ ใคใพใ‚Šใ€ใ“ใ‚ŒใฏๅŸบๆœฌ็š„ ใซใƒˆใƒ”ใƒƒใ‚ฏใซๆฒฟใฃใŸใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™...ใƒˆใƒ”ใƒƒใ‚ฏใ‚ปใƒณใƒ†ใƒณใ‚นใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
10:27
So then, okay, they know what he likes, what he doesn't like, his books, etc. They can
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ใใ‚Œใงใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏๅฝผใŒๅฅฝใใชใ‚‚ใฎใ€ ๅซŒใ„ใชใ‚‚ใฎใ€ๅฝผใฎๆœฌใชใฉใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ๅฝผใ‚‰
10:31
also talk to the child's teachers and find out how they can help him. Okay, that's another
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ใฏๅญไพ›ใฎๅ…ˆ็”Ÿใจ่ฉฑใ‚’ใ—ใฆใ€ ๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒๅฝผใ‚’ๅŠฉใ‘ใ‚‹ๆ–นๆณ•ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใคใ‘ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚‚ใงใใพใ™. ใ‚ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸใ€ใใ‚Œใฏ
10:36
way they can do. So, teachers have nobody to ask. Or maybe they have the parents. Who
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ๅฝผใ‚‰ใŒใงใใ‚‹ๅˆฅใฎๆ–นๆณ•ใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€ๆ•™ๅธซใฏ่ชฐ ใซใ‚‚ๅฐ‹ใญใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใพใŸใฏใ€ไธก่ฆชใŒใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
10:40
knows? So, parents know their child best, parents can talk to the child's teachers,
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็Ÿฅใ‚‹ใ‹๏ผŸ ใคใพใ‚Šใ€่ฆชใฏ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๅญไพ›ใ‚’ๆœ€ใ‚‚ใ‚ˆใ็ŸฅใฃใฆใŠใ‚Šใ€ ่ฆชใฏๅญไพ›ใฎๅ…ˆ็”Ÿใจ่ฉฑใ™ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ€ๅญไพ›
10:46
they can find... They can monitor how much TV he watches, so they can... This is something
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ใŒใฉใฎใใ‚‰ใ„ใƒ†ใƒฌใƒ“ ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใฆใ„ใ‚‹
10:50
else they can do. Doesn't have anything to do with what he likes or doesn't like. They
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ใ‹ใ‚’็›ฃ่ฆ–ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ ๅฝผใฎๅฅฝใๅซŒใ„ใฏ้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ๅฝผใ‚‰
10:55
can concen-... They can help his concentration by cutting down on TV. Too many ideas, here.
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ใฏ้›†ไธญใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™...ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏใƒ†ใƒฌใƒ“ใ‚’ๆธ›ใ‚‰ใ™ใ“ใจใซใ‚ˆใฃใฆๅฝผใฎ้›†ไธญๅŠ›ใ‚’ๅŠฉใ‘ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ . ใ“ใ“ใงใฏใ€ใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใŒๅคšใ™ใŽใพใ™ใ€‚
11:02
Now, too many ideas is not a bad thing if each idea is expanded on, you elaborate, you
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ใ•ใฆใ€ใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใŒๅคšใ™ใŽใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏๆ‚ชใ„ใ“ใจใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใใ‚Œใžใ‚Œใฎใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใŒๆ‹กๅผตใ•ใ‚Œใ€่ฉณใ—ใ
11:09
explain why this is important, and you have to connect. Right? Every sentence must flow
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่ชฌๆ˜Žใ—ใ€ใชใœใ“ใ‚ŒใŒ้‡่ฆใชใฎใ‹ใ‚’่ชฌๆ˜Žใ—ใ€ๆŽฅ็ถšใ™ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ ใ€‚ ๅณ๏ผŸ ใ™ในใฆใฎๆ–‡ใฏ
11:16
in terms of ideas, logically, from one idea to the next. So, here, this... This sentence
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ใ€ใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใ‹ใ‚‰ๆฌกใฎใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใธใจ่ซ–็†็š„ใซใ€ใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใฎ่ฆณ็‚นใ‹ใ‚‰ๆตใ‚Œใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐใชใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ ใ€‚ ใงใ€ใ“ใ“ใ€ใ“ใ‚Œโ€ฆ ใ“ใฎๆ–‡
11:23
and this sentence really have no connection. Here, we're talking about what he likes; here
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ใจใ“ใฎๆ–‡ใฏๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ้–ขไฟ‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใ“ใ“ใงใฏใ€ๅฝผใŒๅฅฝใใชใ‚‚ใฎใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ“ใ“
11:27
about what they can do with their teachers. Two completely separate ideas, not connected
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ใงใฏใ€ๆ•™ๅธซใจไธ€็ท’ใซไฝ•ใŒใงใใ‚‹ใ‹ใซใคใ„ใฆ่ชฌๆ˜Žใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ ไฝ•ใ‚‚ ๆŽฅ็ถšใ•ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใชใ„ใ€2 ใคใฎๅฎŒๅ…จใซๅˆฅๅ€‹ใฎใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ข
11:32
by anything. Okay? Next, they can talk about TV. They can cut down on TV. Okay. What does
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ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ๆฌกใซใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏใƒ†ใƒฌใƒ“ใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ™ใ“ใจใŒใงใ ใพใ™ใ€‚ ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏใƒ†ใƒฌใƒ“ใ‚’ๆธ›ใ‚‰ใ™ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸใ€‚
11:39
that have to do with talking to the child's teachers? Nothing. Again, no connection. Different
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ใใ‚Œใฏๅญไพ›ใฎๅ…ˆ็”Ÿใจ่ฉฑใ™ใ“ใจใจไฝ•ใฎ้–ขไฟ‚ใŒใ‚ใ‚Š ใพใ™ใ‹? ไฝ•ใ‚‚ใชใ„ใ€‚ ็นฐใ‚Š่ฟ”ใ—ใพใ™ใŒใ€ๆŽฅ็ถšใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ้•ใ†
11:45
idea. So the reader is going:
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่€ƒใˆใ€‚ ่ชญ่€…ใฏ
11:47
"Umm, what are you trying to do here? Like, what...? What is the purpose of this essay?
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ใ€ใ€Œใ†ใƒผใ‚“ใ€ใ“ใ“ใงไฝ•ใ‚’ใ—ใ‚ˆใ†ใจใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ™ใ‹? ใŸใจใˆใฐใ€ ไฝ•...? ใ“ใฎใ‚จใƒƒใ‚ปใ‚คใฎ็›ฎ็š„ใฏไฝ•ใงใ™ใ‹?
11:52
What is the purpose of this paragraph?" The point is you're
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ใ“ใฎๆฎต่ฝใฎ็›ฎ็š„ใฏไฝ• ใงใ™ใ‹?ใ€ ่ฆ็‚นใฏใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ
11:56
trying to support your idea, why you think parents are the best teacher.
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่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎ่€ƒใˆใ‚’ๆ”ฏๆŒใ—ใ‚ˆใ†ใจใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚ใชใœ ่ฆชใฏๆœ€้ซ˜ใฎๆ•™ๅธซใ ใจๆ€ใ†ใฎใ‹ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™ใ€‚
12:00
Don't just throw in ideas.
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ใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใ‚’ๆŠ•ใ’่พผใ‚€ใ ใ‘ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
12:03
Which brings us to point number four: Good point... So, you're making good points. There's
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ใ“ใ‚Œใง 4 ็•ช็›ฎใฎ ใƒใ‚คใƒณใƒˆใซใคใชใŒใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚่‰ฏใ„็‚นใงใ™...ใคใพใ‚Šใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ่‰ฏใ„็‚นใ‚’ๆŒ‡ๆ‘˜ใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
12:08
nothing wrong with the ideas, here; they're actually quite good, quite strong in terms
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ใ“ใ“ใงใฏใ€ใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใซๅ•้กŒใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใ‚ใชใŸใฎๆ„่ฆ‹ใ‚’ๆ”ฏๆŒใ™ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ† ็‚นใงใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏๅฎŸ้š›ใซใฏ้žๅธธใซๅ„ชใ‚ŒใฆใŠใ‚Šใ€้žๅธธใซๅผทๅŠ›
12:11
of supporting your opinion. But then you don't give me any examples. Okay? For example, if
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ใงใ™. ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏ ็งใซไพ‹ใ‚’ๆŒ™ใ’ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ใŸใจใˆใฐ
12:19
you're talking about books, this is like already the second sentence, you're talking about
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ใ€ๆœฌใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ ใ™ใงใซ 2 ็•ช็›ฎใฎใ‚ปใƒณใƒ†ใƒณใ‚นใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใชใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™ใ€‚
12:21
what books he likes, what science he likes... For example, if a child likes dinosaurs, the
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ๅฝผใŒๅฅฝใใชๆœฌใ€ๅฅฝใใช็ง‘ๅญฆใซใคใ„ใฆ่ฉฑใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹. ใŸใจใˆใฐใ€ๅญไพ›ใŒๆ็ซœใŒๅฅฝใใชใ‚‰ใ€
12:27
parents can then go buy him a dinosaur set, a model set, or books about dinosaurs, or
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่ฆชใฏ่กŒใใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™. ๅฝผใซๆ็ซœใ‚ปใƒƒใƒˆ ใ€ใƒขใƒ‡ใƒซ ใ‚ปใƒƒใƒˆใ€ใพใŸใฏๆ็ซœใซ้–ขใ™ใ‚‹ๆœฌใ‚’่ณผๅ…ฅใ™ใ‚‹ใ‹
12:33
they can take him to the museum to see... The Natural History Museum to see how dinosaurs
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ใ€ๅš็‰ฉ้คจใซ้€ฃใ‚Œใฆ่กŒใฃใฆ่ฆ‹ใฆใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใ†ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™... ่‡ช็„ถๅฒๅš็‰ฉ้คจใงใ€ๆ็ซœใŒใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซ
12:38
evolved, and died, and etc. Or if you're talking about TV, well, what's wrong with TV? TV can
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้€ฒๅŒ–ใ—ใ€ๆญปใ‚“ใ ใ‹ใชใฉใ‚’่ฆ‹ใ‚‹ ใƒ†ใƒฌใƒ“ใซใคใ„ใฆใ€ใพใ‚ใ€ใƒ†ใƒฌใƒ“ใฎใฉใ“ใŒๆ‚ชใ„ใฎ๏ผŸ ใƒ†ใƒฌใƒ“
12:44
be very educational. But for your purpose, you want to give the example. If the child
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ใฏ้žๅธธใซๆ•™่‚ฒ็š„ใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ—ใ‹ใ—ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฎ็›ฎ็š„ใฎ ใŸใ‚ใซใ€ไพ‹ใ‚’ๆŒ™ใ’ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ๅญไพ›
12:49
is watching too many cartoons or is watching violent movies, he's not going to be able
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ใŒใ‚ใพใ‚Šใซใ‚‚ๅคšใใฎๆผซ็”ปใ‚’่ฆ‹ใŸใ‚Šใ€ ๆšดๅŠ›็š„ใชๆ˜ ็”ปใ‚’่ฆ‹ใŸใ‚Šใ™ใ‚‹ใจ
12:54
to concentrate on his math homework. Right? Or if his imagination is getting carried away,
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ใ€ๆ•ฐๅญฆใฎๅฎฟ้กŒใซ้›†ไธญใงใใชใใชใ‚Šใพใ™. ๅณ๏ผŸ ใ‚ใ‚‹ใ„ใฏ ใ€ๅฝผใฎๆƒณๅƒๅŠ›ใŒ็‹‚ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใ€ๅฝผใฏ
12:59
how's he going to concentrate on his science lessons?
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ใฉใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซ ใ—ใฆ็†็ง‘ใฎๆŽˆๆฅญใซ้›†ไธญใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ‹?
13:02
So, give me the points, yes, make sure that you give me concrete examples.
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ใงใ™ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€่ฆ็‚นใ‚’ๆ•™ใˆใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ใฏใ„ใ€ ๅ…ทไฝ“็š„ใชไพ‹ใ‚’ๆ•™ใˆใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
13:10
"Concrete" meaning give me a real thing, something I can actually hold onto. The dinosaur set,
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ใ€Œๅ…ทไฝ“็š„ใชใ€ใจใ„ใ†ใฎใฏใ€็ง ใŒๅฎŸ้š›ใซใคใ‹ใ‚€ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚‹ๆœฌ็‰ฉใ‚’็งใซไธŽใˆใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ๆ„ๅ‘ณใงใ™ใ€‚ ๆ็ซœใ‚ปใƒƒใƒˆใ€
13:16
concrete example. Cartoons on TV, concrete examples. Okay? Make sure you support your
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ๅ…ทไฝ“ไพ‹ใ€‚ ใƒ†ใƒฌใƒ“ใฎๆผซ็”ปใ€ๅ…ทไฝ“็š„ใช ไพ‹ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ไพ‹ใ‚’ๆŒ™ใ’ใฆ็†็”ฑใ‚’่ฃไป˜ใ‘ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„
13:22
reasons with examples. Make sure you support your argument with reasons. Everything has
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ใ€‚ ็†็”ฑใ‚’ไป˜ใ‘ใฆ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎไธปๅผตใ‚’่ฃไป˜ใ‘ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ใ™ในใฆใŒ
13:27
to be connected. Better to take only one or two of these ideas, expand on them, and give
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ๆŽฅ็ถšใ•ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฎใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใฎ 1 ใคใพใŸใฏ 2 ใคใ ใ‘ใ‚’ๅ–ใ‚ŠไธŠใ’ใฆ ๆ‹กๅผตใ—ใ€
13:34
me examples to support them to make them stronger. Okay? So, this is the general idea about the
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ใใ‚Œใ‚‰ใ‚’ๅผทๅŒ–ใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใฎใ‚ตใƒใƒผใƒˆใจใชใ‚‹ไพ‹ใ‚’ๆŒ™ใ’ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ใ“ใ‚ŒใŒ
13:40
paragraphs in body one, body two. Same thing for body two. You're going to a new topic,
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ๆœฌๆ–‡ 1ใ€ๆœฌๆ–‡ 2 ใฎๆฎต่ฝใซ้–ขใ™ใ‚‹ไธ€่ˆฌ็š„ใช่€ƒใˆๆ–นใงใ™ใ€‚ ใƒœใƒ‡ใ‚ฃ2ใ‚‚ๅŒใ˜ใ€‚ ใ‚ใชใŸใฏๆ–ฐใ—ใ„ใƒˆใƒ”ใƒƒใ‚ฏใซ่กŒใใพใ™
13:45
introduce it with a topic, make sure you have the transition between paragraph, body paragraph
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ใ€ใƒˆใƒ”ใƒƒใ‚ฏใงใใ‚Œใ‚’็ดนไป‹ใ—ใพใ™ใ€ๆฎต่ฝ้–“ใฎ็งป่กŒใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็ขบ่ชใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ ใ€ๆœฌๆ–‡ๆฎต่ฝ
13:50
one and two, topic sentence, reason you think so, example, maybe another point,
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1ใจ2ใ€ใƒˆใƒ”ใƒƒใ‚ฏใ‚ปใƒณใƒ†ใƒณใ‚นใ€ ใใ†ๆ€ใ†็†็”ฑใ€ไพ‹ใ€ใŠใใ‚‰ใๅˆฅใฎใƒใ‚คใƒณใƒˆใ€
13:56
go on to your conclusion.
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็ต่ซ–ใซ้€ฒใฟใพใ™.
13:58
Now, this one, the last one. This is actually a bit of a pet peeve. I'll explain this expression.
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ใงใฏใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใงๆœ€ๅพŒใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ“ใ‚ŒใฏๅฎŸ้š›ใซใฏ ใกใ‚‡ใฃใจ้ขๅ€’ใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ“ใฎ่กจ็พใซใคใ„ใฆ่ชฌๆ˜Žใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
14:09
A "pet peeve" is something that you find really annoying. Right? Something that happens all
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ใ€Œใƒšใƒƒใƒˆใƒ”ใƒผใƒ–ใ€ใฏใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒๆœฌๅฝ“ใซ่ฟทๆƒ‘ใ ใจๆ€ใ†ใ‚‚ใฎ ใงใ™ใ€‚ ๅณ๏ผŸ ใ„ใคใ‚‚่ตทใ“ใ‚‹ไฝ•ใ‹
14:14
the time, and it really bothers you. So I've had many students, and I've explained to them
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ใ€ใใ—ใฆใใ‚Œใฏๆœฌๅฝ“ใซใ‚ใชใŸใ‚’ๆ‚ฉใพใ›ใพใ™. ็ง ใฏๅคšใใฎๅญฆ็”Ÿใซใ“ใฎ็‚นใ‚’่ชฌๆ˜Žใ—ใฆใใพใ—ใŸ
14:18
this point-I'm going to explain to you in a second-and I say: "Don't do this." And then
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โ€”ใ™ใใซ่ชฌๆ˜Žใ—ใพใ™ใŒ โ€”ใ€Œใ“ใ‚Œใ‚’ใ—ใชใ„ใงใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ ใใ—ใฆใ€
14:23
their next essay, they do it again; and then their next essay, they do it again. Like,
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ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฎๆฌกใฎใ‚จใƒƒใ‚ปใ‚คใงใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏๅ†ใณใใ‚Œใ‚’่กŒใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใใ—ใฆ ๆฌกใฎใ‚จใƒƒใ‚ปใ‚คใงใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏใใ‚Œใ‚’็นฐใ‚Š่ฟ”ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
14:26
you say: "Don't do it, don't do it", and they do it, and they do it. So, what is the problem?
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ใŸใจใˆใฐใ€ใ€Œใ‚„ใ‚‰ใชใ„ใงใ€ใ‚„ใ‚‰ใชใ„ใงใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ใจใ€ๅฝผใ‚‰ ใฏใ‚„ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€ใใ—ใฆๅฝผใ‚‰ใฏใ‚„ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ใใ‚Œใงใ€ๅ•้กŒใฏไฝ•ใงใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ
14:32
Once you have your opinion, once you've decided agree or disagree, say so once. Okay? Use
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่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๆ„่ฆ‹ใŒใพใจใพใฃใŸใ‚‰ใ€ ่ณ›ๆˆใ‹ๅๅฏพใ‹ใ‚’ๆฑบใ‚ใŸใ‚‰ใ€ไธ€ๅบฆ่จ€ใฃใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ ใ‚ใ‹ใฃใŸ๏ผŸ ใ‚จใƒƒใ‚ปใ‚คๅ…จไฝ“ใง
14:41
this pronoun: "I agree", "I think", "I believe", "In my opinion" one time in the entire essay.
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ใ€ใ€ŒๅŒๆ„ใ™ใ‚‹ใ€ใ€ใ€Œๆ€ใ†ใ€ใ€ใ€Œไฟกใ˜ใ‚‹ใ€ใ€ ใ€Œ็งใฎๆ„่ฆ‹ใงใฏใ€ใจใ„ใ†ไปฃๅ่ฉžใ‚’ 1 ๅ›žไฝฟ็”จใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
14:53
Do not say: "I think" two, three, four times. Don't say it twice in the introduction, and
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่จ€ใ‚ใชใ„ใงใใ ใ•ใ„๏ผšใ€Œ็งใฏๆ€ใ†ใ€2ใ€3ใ€4ๅ›žใ€‚ ๅฐŽๅ…ฅ้ƒจใง 2 ๅ›ž่จ€ใฃใฆใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€็ต่ซ–ใงใ‚‚ใ†ไธ€ๅบฆ่จ€ใฃใฆใฏใ„ใ‘ใพใ›ใ‚“
14:58
then again in the conclusion. Say it one time in the introduction if that's where your thesis is
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ใ€‚ ใใ‚ŒใŒใ‚ใชใŸใฎ่ซ–ๆ–‡ใงใ‚ใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใฏใ€ใ‚คใƒณใƒˆใƒญใƒ€ใ‚ฏใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใงไธ€ๅบฆ่จ€ใฃใฆใใ ใ•ใ„
15:05
- that's it, you're done. Don't use the word: "I", "my", "me", "mine" any more in your essay.
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-ใใ‚Œใง็ต‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใงใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚จใƒƒใ‚ปใ‚คใงใ€Œ็งใ€ใ€ใ€Œ็งใฎใ€ใ€ใ€Œ็งใ€ใ€ใ€Œ็งใฎใ€ใจใ„ใ†่จ€่‘‰ใ‚’ใ‚‚ใ†ไฝฟใ‚ใชใ„ใงใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
15:10
The only time you can repeat the personal pronoun is if you have a very personal task
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ไบบ็งฐไปฃๅ่ฉžใ‚’็นฐใ‚Š่ฟ”ใ™ใ“ใจใŒใงใใ‚‹ใฎ ใฏใ€้žๅธธใซๅ€‹ไบบ็š„ใชใ‚ฟใ‚นใ‚ฏใฎ่ณชๅ•ใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใฎใฟใงใ™
15:17
question. Would you prefer to live in the city or the country? Okay, in that case, you
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ใ€‚ ้ƒฝไผšใจ็”ฐ่ˆŽใฎใฉใกใ‚‰ใซไฝใฟใŸใ„ใงใ™ใ‹ใ€‚ ใใฎๅ ดๅˆใ€
15:22
can use "I", or "me", or "my" a few times, but even then, you don't need to, so don't.
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ใ€ŒIใ€ใ€ใ€Œmeใ€ใ€ใพใŸใฏใ€Œmyใ€ใ‚’ๆ•ฐๅ›žไฝฟ็”จใงใใพใ™ ใŒใ€ใใ‚Œใงใ‚‚ๅฟ…่ฆใชใ„ใฎใงไฝฟ็”จใ—ใชใ„ใงใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
15:29
One time, give me your opinion, that's it; don't give me any more.
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ไธ€ๅบฆใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฎๆ„่ฆ‹ใ‚’่žใ‹ใ›ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ ใ€‚ ใ‚‚ใ†็งใซไธŽใˆใชใ„ใงใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
15:33
Now, what happens is I see quite often in the introduction, I see people say:
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ใ•ใฆ ใ€ใ‚คใƒณใƒˆใƒญใƒ€ใ‚ฏใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใงใ‚ˆใ็›ฎใซใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใฏใ€
15:38
"I think that A, B, C, which is why I believe C, D, E, F." Whatever.
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ใ€Œ็งใฏAใ€Bใ€Cใ ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ใใ‚ŒใŒใ€ ็งใŒCใ€Dใ€Eใ€Fใ‚’ไฟกใ˜ใ‚‹็†็”ฑใงใ™ใ€ใจใ„ใ†่จ€่‘‰ใงใ™ใ€‚ ใชใ‚“ใงใ‚‚ใ„ใ„ใ€‚
15:47
Well, what is your thesis?
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ใ•ใฆใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฎ่ซ–ๆ–‡ใฏไฝ•ใงใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ
15:49
Is it the first one or the second one? Right? Usually it will be a bit clear what you're
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ใใ‚Œใฏๆœ€ๅˆใฎใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™ใ‹ใ€ใใ‚Œใจใ‚‚2็•ช็›ฎใฎใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ ๅณ๏ผŸ ้€šๅธธใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ่จ€ใŠใ†ใจใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏๅฐ‘ใ—ใฏใฃใใ‚Šใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™
15:53
trying to say, but the fact that you say two opinions makes your thesis weak, because I'm
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ใŒใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใŒ 2 ใคใฎๆ„่ฆ‹ใ‚’่ฟฐในใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ไบ‹ๅฎŸใฏใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฎไธปๅผตใ‚’ ๅผฑไฝ“ๅŒ–ใ•ใ›ใพใ™
16:00
not sure. You're not taking a very firm stance. If you think A, B, C, which is why you believe
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ใ€‚ ใ‚ใชใŸใฏใ‚ใพใ‚Šๅ›บใ„ๅงฟๅ‹ขใ‚’ใจใฃใฆใ„ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใ‚ใชใŸใŒAใ€Bใ€Cใจ่€ƒใˆใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใชใ‚‰ใ€ใใ‚ŒใŒใ‚ใชใŸใŒ
16:06
D, E, F - well, you only think A, B, C, which is not a very strong support for D, E, F or
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Dใ€Eใ€Fใ‚’ไฟกใ˜ใ‚‹็†็”ฑใงใ™ - ใพใ‚ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฏAใ€Bใ€Cใ—ใ‹่€ƒใˆ ใฆใ„ใพใ›ใ‚“
16:11
believing D, E, F. Have one firm expression: "I think" something, done. Support it the
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ใ€‚ F. ใ€ŒI thinkใ€ไฝ•ใ‹ใ€ๅฎŒไบ†ใ—ใŸใจใ„ใ† 1 ใคใฎใ—ใฃใ‹ใ‚Šใ—ใŸ่กจ็พใ‚’ใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ ใ€‚
16:19
rest of the essay. In the conclusion, you can restate that opinion, but you don't have
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ใ‚จใƒƒใ‚ปใ‚คใฎๆฎ‹ใ‚Šใฎ้ƒจๅˆ†ใ‚’ใ‚ตใƒใƒผใƒˆใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ ็ต่ซ–ใจใ—ใฆใ€ใใฎๆ„่ฆ‹ใ‚’่จ€ใ„็›ดใ™ใ“ใจใฏใงใใพใ™ใŒ ใ€
16:25
to say: "That is why I think", "In conclusion, I think this because that". No.
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ใ€Œใใ‚ŒใŒ็งใŒ่€ƒใˆใ‚‹็†็”ฑใงใ™ใ€ใ€ใ€Œ ็ต่ซ–ใจใ—ใฆใ€็งใฏใ“ใ‚ŒใŒๅŽŸๅ› ใงใ“ใ‚Œใ‚’่€ƒใˆใ‚‹ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ†ๅฟ…่ฆใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚ ใ„ใ„ใˆใ€‚
16:29
"In conclusion, parents make the best teachers for several reasons,
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ใ€Œ็ต่ซ–ใจใ—ใฆใ€่ฆชใฏใ€ๅญไพ›ใฎ็Ÿฅ่ญ˜ใ‚’ๅซใ‚€ ใ„ใใคใ‹ใฎ็†็”ฑใงๆœ€้ซ˜ใฎๆ•™ๅธซใซ
16:34
including knowledge of their child and" whatever your second body paragraph was.
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ใชใ‚Š ใพใ™ใ€‚ใ€ใ‚ใชใŸใฎ2็•ช็›ฎใฎๆœฌๆ–‡ใฎๆฎต่ฝใŒไฝ•ใงใ‚ใ‚Œ.
16:39
I don't know. Everybody has different ideas.
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็Ÿฅใ‚‰ใชใ„ใ€‚ ่ชฐใ‚‚ ใŒใ•ใพใ–ใพใช่€ƒใˆใ‚’ๆŒใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ‚จใƒƒใ‚ปใ‚ค
16:42
One time in the whole essay, that's it.
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ๅ…จไฝ“ใงไธ€ๅบฆใ ใ‘ ใ€ใใ‚Œใ ใ‘ใงใ™ใ€‚
16:45
So, these are the five common mistakes people make. Try to avoid them.
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ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‰ใฏใ€ไบบใ€…ใŒ็Šฏใ—ใŒใกใช 5 ใคใฎ้–“้•ใ„ ใงใ™ใ€‚ ใใ‚Œใ‚‰ใ‚’้ฟใ‘ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
16:50
Your score will go up right away, I can promise you that. If you have any questions, come to www.engvid.com,
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ใ‚ใชใŸใฎใ‚นใ‚ณใ‚ขใฏใ™ใใซไธŠใŒใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚็ด„ๆŸใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ ่ณชๅ•ใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ๅ ดๅˆใฏใ€www.engvid.com ใซใ‚ขใ‚ฏใ‚ปใ‚น
16:57
you can ask me questions in the forum. I will put a quiz to make sure you understand the
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ใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ใƒ•ใ‚ฉใƒผใƒฉใƒ ใง่ณชๅ•ใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ ใ“ใ“ใง ใ€้‡่ฆใชๆฆ‚ๅฟตใ‚’็†่งฃใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚’็ขบ่ชใ™ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใฎใ‚ฏใ‚คใ‚บใ‚’ๅ‡บใ—
17:02
key concepts, here. If you need extra help, please visit my site, www.writetotop.com,
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ใพใ™ใ€‚ ่ฟฝๅŠ ใฎใƒ˜ใƒซใƒ—ใŒๅฟ…่ฆใชๅ ดๅˆใฏ ใ€็งใฎใ‚ตใ‚คใƒˆ www.writetotop.com ใซใ‚ขใ‚ฏใ‚ปใ‚นใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚
17:08
I have a lot of useful tips for writing there as well; subscribe to my YouTube channel;
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ใ“ใ“ใซใ‚‚ใ€่จ˜ไบ‹ใ‚’ๆ›ธใใŸใ‚ใฎๅฝน็ซ‹ใคใƒ’ใƒณใƒˆใŒใŸใใ•ใ‚“ ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ ็งใฎ YouTube ใƒใƒฃใƒณใƒใƒซใ‚’่ณผ่ชญใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
17:14
and come back soon. I'll see you then. Bye.
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ใใ—ใฆใ™ใใซๆˆปใฃใฆใใพใ™ใ€‚ ใใฎๆ™‚ใŠไผšใ„ใ—ใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚ ใ•ใ‚ˆใชใ‚‰ใ€‚
ใ“ใฎใ‚ฆใ‚งใƒ–ใ‚ตใ‚คใƒˆใซใคใ„ใฆ

ใ“ใฎใ‚ตใ‚คใƒˆใงใฏ่‹ฑ่ชžๅญฆ็ฟ’ใซๅฝน็ซ‹ใคYouTubeๅ‹•็”ปใ‚’็ดนไป‹ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ไธ–็•Œไธญใฎไธ€ๆต่ฌ›ๅธซใซใ‚ˆใ‚‹่‹ฑ่ชžใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใ‚’่ฆ‹ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ๅ„ใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใฎใƒšใƒผใ‚ธใซ่กจ็คบใ•ใ‚Œใ‚‹่‹ฑ่ชžๅญ—ๅน•ใ‚’ใƒ€ใƒ–ใƒซใ‚ฏใƒชใƒƒใ‚ฏใ™ใ‚‹ใจใ€ใใ“ใ‹ใ‚‰ใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใ‚’ๅ†็”Ÿใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ๅญ—ๅน•ใฏใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใฎๅ†็”ŸใจๅŒๆœŸใ—ใฆใ‚นใ‚ฏใƒญใƒผใƒซใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ใ”ๆ„่ฆ‹ใƒปใ”่ฆๆœ›ใŒใ”ใ–ใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ‚‰ใ€ใ“ใกใ‚‰ใฎใŠๅ•ใ„ๅˆใ‚ใ›ใƒ•ใ‚ฉใƒผใƒ ใ‚ˆใ‚Šใ”้€ฃ็ตกใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚

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