Why Body Language Is the Key to Self-Expression — and Hot Selfies | David Suh | TED

It is so great being up on here.

I also want to make sure I commemorate and take a quick TED selfie.

Hold on, sorry, don't mind me.

What was my best selfie angle again?

Anyone else have that question?

A few, a few, OK.

Well, it's a question I get asked all the time as a posing coach.

And it's so silly because it's really simple,

there's chin up and chin down.

Matter of fact, can we try this from our seats real quick?

Everyone just do a simple chin up.

Let me take a look.

Alright, OK.

Let me try to figure this out for everyone here.

Chin down.

Yeah, great, OK

How does everyone look good in both angles?

(Laughter)

But before I go on to solve the world's mystery of selfies

for you today,

let's address the elephant in the room, shall we?

Because I have a feeling that not everyone here

is so deeply invested in taking the cutest selfie every day.

But that's OK, that's OK.

This is still going to be good

because I'll take a bet in saying

that every single one of you here

deserves a powerful headshot that not only reflects your identity

but your ambition and success.

For the past decade,

I've been photographing over thousands of people.

A few you may recognize.

Celebrities.

CEOs.

But mainly people.

People like you and me who have a simple human desire

to be seen and heard.

And there's something

this external-validation-seeking culture of selfies

that I learned

that this culture hasn't taught me.

It's that posing for a photo

doesn't have to be this terrifying experience

that subjects you to beauty standards.

In fact, posing should be natural

because it's something that you've been speaking.

It's a language you've been speaking your entire life.

Body language.

And I'm here to show you

that our body is so interconnected with our hearts and our identity.

Take a look this time, let me just show you, OK?

I'll say a little hello from here,

and then a little chin up and, hey.

And then also a little chin down and, hey.

(Laughter)

Whoa.

What just happened?

Perhaps on the chin-up, you felt a sense of confidence.

Maybe on the chin-down,

you felt like I was flirting with you from the stage.

I told you, everyone looks so good here.

But how does something so mechanical start to express emotions?

It's not voodoo magic

because this is something that we can all do.

Matter of fact, let's try this all together one more time.

Everyone, this time just relax your shoulders with me, yeah.

Let's take a deep breath through your nose

and out through the mouth.

Beautiful.

Chin up, very slowly with me, feeling powerful.

Back down to neutral.

Chin down just a touch,

head tilt to the side,

nose around slightly,

and just the eyes down towards the ground beneath you.

And just the eyes again, slowly bringing up back to me.

Ooh, OK.

(Laughter)

If you felt something in here in your body, my friends,

you felt a fraction of the power of posing.

Just using your chin up.

Imagine what you can do when you use your entire body.

By the end of this talk, I want to show you

that you can become whoever you want to become

through a single pose.

But how did David get here,

where he can orchestrate a whole room full of beautiful people

to just flirt with him in a matter of seconds?

(Laughter)

It started in high school.

Not the flirting.

It was a passion, it was a simple passion

of taking a photo for someone else that they would love.

And it's an honorable passion.

But there was a big problem.

Posing.

David, what do I do with my hands?

Don't look at me,

I'm just a shy Korean kid hiding behind his camera.

(Laughter)

I know, it's very cute, very cute.

(Laughter)

But because they didn't know how to pose,

they felt awkward,

therefore, they looked awkward.

And then they saw the awkward photo

where they said, "Oh, once again, I look awkward."

Further validating their limiting beliefs.

But it's OK because high-school David had a solution.

He went to Google and typed in "top three poses for a woman."

The guys in the high school didn't want photos that much.

So David memorized pose one.

Pose two.

And pose three.

(Laughter)

Easy peasy, right?

Nope.

Because David learned that everyone has different body types.

I mean, how can he -- OK, that makes sense.

But what if David learns the top three poses

for every conceivable body type out there in the universe?

Surely he would be set up for success, right?

Nope.

Because even if two people have the same body types,

how they perceive themselves

and how they want to be seen can be drastically different.

This is a problem with today's definition of posing.

It boxes you in

based on your physical traits and your labels.

Ah, you are a woman,

this is how you need to present your body.

Yeah, let's not get cancelled on the TED stage my first time here.

(Laughter)

That's me, by the way.

(Laughter)

There's a client that taught me this lesson really well.

She was an ex dominatrix, now author.

I know, really cool.

So she was getting her hair and makeup done, and I went over and I said,

"Miss Client, how would you like to be photographed today?"

She looked dead straight at me and said,

"David, I want to be a bisexual assassin."

(Laughter)

"Yeah, let's do that."

And as I slowly walked out of the makeup room,

immense panic just -- whew.

What does that even mean?

David went to his laptop and typed

"top three poses for bisexual assassins."

Immediately regretted it.

(Laughter)

Eventually, I had no other options.

I had to trust my process.

So David guided her limb by limb,

intentionally, to feel within her body.

And I nervously presented a photo to her, and she said,

"David, this is me."

I learned that day --

Thank you, thank you.

(Applause)

I learned that day that it wasn't my job

to teach her how to be a bisexual assassin.

All I had to do was give her space to be who she already was.

The baddest bisexual assassin in the world.

It's not about contorting your body to fit someone else's idea of you.

It also doesn't matter if you see

a version of what you believe is bisexual assassin here or not,

because Krista connected with herself.

That is what posing is.

It's a declaration of self.

Telling the world that you belong,

that you are deserving of self-exploration,

self acceptance and self expression.

A playful promise to tell yourself that I will see myself as a work of art,

a one of one.

So with that being said -- thank you --

Let's make this declaration together.

I invite you all.

I'm going to grab my trusty chair here real quick.

Like, what is going on?

Let me just ...

Let's make this declaration through what I call posing yoga, poga.

I'm going to be your mirror.

So if you wave at me real quick, this should be your left hand.

Just mirror, mirror.

Yep, I should be able to go up to you and high five, right?

We're going to embody the leaders that we are

and the leaders that we are becoming.

So first, starting with everyone that has skirts on.

Being mindful, right?

Sit on the edge of the seat for me.

Just the people with the skirts.

I'm going to have you go for a little leg cross.

This hand leaning towards the knee.

Feel that shift of the balance onto that knee relaxing this wrist,

this hand just placing on top of that wrist.

Bring your shoulder around ever so slightly towards your chin.

And wait for me right here.

Everyone else in the trousers and the pants,

let's still sit on the edge of the seat

and go for a wider stance on the legs.

Be mindful of your neighbors.

Let’s go for a little tippy toe to raise this platform on the knee.

And this hand we’re going to lean over, really shifting that balance.

Rely on your body, relax that wrist.

This hand we're just going to go right over here.

And everyone with me,

let's bring our chin up ever so slightly.

Deep breath in through the nose

and out through the mouth.

And just the eyes to me.

I wish I can take a photo of everyone right now.

(Laughter)

End scene, you can relax.

(Applause)

This is how posing should feel.

It should feel grounding.

It should feel empowering.

And this is how the shy Korean kid that you saw earlier on

came to be him today.

Me on stage.

(Applause and cheers)

I mean, don't get me wrong, both Davids are beautiful.

But this David saw posing as a tool to look good,

to almost pretend.

Me now, I see posing as a way to embody who I've become

and who I'm destined to become.

So the next time you are in front of the camera,

whether it's for a selfie or a headshot,

please remember that you deserve to take up space,

shift your balance to comfort your body,

and remember David asking you,

how are you and your future self showing up for you today in your body?

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

(Applause and cheers)