How to use IF Conditionals: Advanced English Grammar Lesson

Vanessa: Hello, hello.

Dan: Hi.

Vanessa: Welcome to today's live English lesson here on the Speak English with Vanessa YouTube

channel.

Today, as you can tell, I have a special guest.

Dan: Who?

Vanessa: It's my husband, Dan.

He's going to be giving us some different perspective and hopefully help you to hear

some new example sentences, and to just have a real English conversation.

So if you're new here, I'm Vanessa, and I teach English here on my YouTube channel.

Usually, I have a lot, a new lesson every Friday.

So if you want to get new lessons every Friday, you can subscribe and get a notification so

that you can continue to learn English with me.

But, today's lesson is super special for three reasons.

The first reason is that I have a special guest, Dan.

Dan: Hello, again.

Vanessa: My second reason is that you are going to be mastering an advanced complex

sentence structure that native speakers use a lot.

We're going to be asking you a question, specifically the question of if someone gave you $500 and

you had to use it for a tattoo, what would you get?

Dan: Ooh.

Vanessa: If someone gave you $500, what tattoo would you get?

We're going to be talking about tattoos because there is a super special reason, and I'm going

to share my screen with you so that you can see why we're going to be talking about tattoos.

Because I don't have a tattoo, Dan doesn't have a tattoo, but-

Dan: No tats.

Vanessa: ... I'm going to show you here on my screen why we're talking about tattoos.

All right.

You can see here that inside my course, the Fearless Fluency Club, we're going to be talking

about tattoos.

Now, we're going to be talking with my friend, Lana, who has a lot of tattoos.

She talks about the stories of her tattoos, her colored hair, a lot of different things.

And this is our topic for October, 2018.

So, you're going to be learning vocabulary, grammar, pronunciation, and also enjoying

this interesting conversation with Lana.

So if you would like to continue to learn more about tattoos, and this kind of controversial

topic ... I know in some countries it's not something that is common or is something that

is maybe looked upon in a good way.

Dan: Acceptable.

Vanessa: Acceptable.

That's a great word.

Yes.

So, we're going to be talking about that in October.

If you'd like to join Dan and I in the Fearless Fluency Club, there is a link below this video.

That's the second reason why today's lesson is special.

But, we have a third reason.

And the third reason is kind of crazy.

Well, as I mentioned, I don't have any tattoos.

Dan doesn't have any tattoos.

So, what are we going to do today?

Dan: I'm going to give Vanessa a tattoo.

Vanessa: All right.

Dan: But, it's not a real tattoo.

Don't worry.

I'm going to use henna.

Do you know what henna is?

Vanessa: Well, I know what henna is, and I love henna.

Henna is kind of a traditional Indian type of temporary tattoo.

Dan: Yes, it's temporary, so it won't stay on her for very long.

Vanessa: Yes.

Yes.

While I'm giving you this lesson, Dan is going to be drawing a secret tattoo on my arm.

I don't know what it is.

Dan: Yeah, I don't know what it is either.

This is going to be very spur of the moment.

It's a little surprise.

Vanessa: Spur of the moment is a great idiom.

Dan: Yes.

Vanessa: Oh.

What's spur of the moment mean?

Dan: It means that it's not planned.

Vanessa: Spontaneous.

Dan: Yes.

I'm also not an artist, so maybe you should have low expectations.

Maybe you should even expect a joke.

I don't know.

We'll see.

Vanessa: We'll see what happens.

Dan: I'm just going to get started.

Vanessa: So while I'm giving you and talking about this lesson today, Dan is going to be

trying his best.

Dan: But you got to be still.

Vanessa: Okay.

Are you going to ... Are you starting?

Dan: I'm starting.

Vanessa: Okay.

It's hard for me because you know how I love to use gestures and how I love to move my

arms a lot.

Dan: Yes, you do.

Vanessa: But, I can't move my arms while I'm giving this lesson.

So, I'm sorry if it's a little bit different than normal.

But at the end of this lesson, you'll get to see what Dan's interesting tattoo idea

is.

All right.

So, let's get started with the topic of today, which the generation topic is tattoos, but

I want to use this complex, advanced sentence structure, which is if hypothetical questions.

These are used commonly in daily conversation, often even in business situations when you're

thinking about what might happen.

It's not certain.

It's just an idea.

That's what hypothetical means, is that it's something that isn't known.

It's just an idea.

It's not really concrete and happening now, just an idea.

So, that's what the questions is today.

I'm also going to be asking Dan, so he might have to take a little break from his tattoo-

Dan: Artistic endeavor.

Vanessa: ... artistic endeavor to answer the question.

But, my question today is, if someone gave you $500 ... I've never had a tattoo, so I

don't really know how expensive they are, but I imagine with $500 you could get a pretty

tattoo.

So, I want to know, if someone gave you $500, what would you get?

Let's here what Dan has to say first, and then I'm going to explain some of the grammar

so that you can make your own sentence with this as well.

I'm not going to look at your tattoo.

What would you say to this question?

If your brother said, "Dan, you have to get a tattoo with this $500.

You have no choice you have to- " Dan: I'd say, "Just give me the money, please."

Vanessa: But he said you have no choice.

You have to.

Dan: I have no choice.

Vanessa: This is a hypothetical question.

Obviously, your brother wouldn't force you to get a tattoo.

Dan: Yeah.

Vanessa: But, let's just say that in this hypothetical situation he gave you $500 and

said, "It's my wish that you would get a tattoo."

What would you get?

Dan: I would probably make sure that both of us were getting a similar tattoo.

Vanessa: Oh, I have to do it, too?

Dan: Yeah, of course.

Because we're married, obviously.

I love my wife a lot, so I'd have to be kind of a bonding tattoo.

Vanessa: So would the tattoo have to be the same between us or do I just have to get a

tattoo at the same time?

Dan: It has to be similar.

I'm thinking like I'd have like a tiger on this arm, and then on your arm you'd have

another tiger, and they're like reaching for each other.

Vanessa: Oh, okay.

Dan: Or maybe they shape a heart.

Maybe the heart's too cheesy.

Vanessa: It's a valiant idea.

So for you, you said, "I would," or, "Maybe I would get a tiger on one arm," and I would

have to get a tiger on the other arm.

You might notice that in this grammatical sentence structure he used would to talk about

the hypothetical situation.

But if he made a full sentence, if my brother gave me, that verb gave is the past tense,

gave me.

If my brother gave me $500, I would ... So, I want to know for you, can you make a sentence

using that same sentence structure?

Do you need to draw some more?

Dan: Yes.

You got to be still now.

Vanessa: Okay.

I'm going to try to be still.

Dan: Okay.

Here we go.

Vanessa: What would you get?

So make sure that you're using the past tense here.

Let's talk about another question.

If the tattoo were words, if you were forced to get a tattoo with words, which words would

get on your arm?

It could be in English.

It could be in another language.

What tattoo would you get?

I guess it doesn't have to be on your arm.

It could be on your back, on your leg, on your foot.

It could be something that's hidden.

But, I want to know for you, what tattoo would you get?

A lot of you are giving really great answer.

Some of you said, "I would like to get a tattoo of my cats if my brother gave me $500."

Dan: Aw.

Vanessa: Beautiful sentence.

In the sample sentence, those of you who are following live ... Those of you who are following

live are writing sample sentences at the moment.

Thanks so much.

You said the past tense, if my brother gave me.

I want to let you know here that in this sample sentence I just said that if clause is at

the end of the sentence, but you could also put it in the beginning of the sentence.

If my brother gave me $500, I would get a tiger tattoo.

Or we could say the if clause at the end.

I would get a tiger tattoo if my brother gave me $500.

So here we've got two different places in the sentences that you could add that if phrase.

So, it's a little bit flexible.

Really, there's no difference in the meaning.

That's just your personal preference.

Some of you who are following live said, "I'd like to get a butterfly tattoo.

I'd get a tattoo with the word Beatles on it.

I'd get a tattoo that said world peace."

Aw, these are really- Dan: Ah, world peace.

Vanessa: ... beautiful ideas.

So you like the Beatles, you would get a Beatles tattoo.

You want world peace, you would get a world peace tattoo.

I love it.

Now, I want to ask you, Dan, what if your brother gave you $500 and said, "You have

to get a tattoo on your chest"? Dan: On my chest.

Vanessa: So it's a little bit more obvious.

It can really be hidden with a shirt, and it has to be at least the size of your hand.

What tattoo would you get?

Would it be different or would it be the same?

Dan: Yeah, I think I would have the same tattoo.

Vanessa: Oh, a tiger?

Dan: Yeah, something similar.

It would also have to be very abstract.

Vanessa: Oh, it's not going to be like a literal picture of a tiger.

Dan: Yeah, it wouldn't be a real picture.

It'd have to be kind of artistic, maybe some swirls or sharp corners.

I don't know.

It has to look ... I think we call those a tribal tattoo.

Vanessa: Oh, I see what you mean, so just like-

Dan: Maybe.

Vanessa: ... some sharp lines, not really colors or a clear image.

Dan: Yeah.

Vanessa: Okay, so we- Dan: Even on my chest I'd do something similar.

Vanessa: So we- Dan: Although I wouldn't be happy.

I don't know that would look very good.

Vanessa: Yeah.

Dan: Chest tattoo.

Vanessa: Might be a little bit odd for you, because you don't have any other tattoos.

Dan: Even more odd for you.

Vanessa: Yeah.

It would be really, really odd.

Well, I like that in Dan's sentence he said, "I'd get the same tattoo."

He's using the contraction here, I would get, but instead he said, "I'd get."

This is one of the most common ways to say I would.

I'd get a tiger tattoo.

I'd like to order the hamburger, please.

I'd like some coffee, please.

I'd like.

So, we're using that contraction I would and making it I'd.

I'd like a tiger tattoo.

For me, I think that if my sister gave me $500 and I had to get a tattoo ... This is

a tough question, because I don't have any tattoos, and there's a reason why I don't

have any tattoos, because I feel like it's so permanent.

My interests are always changing and my passions, when I feel passionate about something, I

feel really passionate about it.

But then, maybe I feel really passionate about something different after a couple months.

So to have a tattoo, it feels like that passion needs to be long-lasting and be something

that continues for most of my life.

Dan: That's why we have to get a couple tattoo.

Vanessa: But even then, it's a little scary.

Dan: She's not going to be with me forever.

That's what she's trying to say.

Vanessa: I hope so.

I hope we're together forever.

But, it's a little bit risky, you know?

So, I feel like for me I'd get ... I'm using that contraction.

I'd get a tattoo of maybe the world, and maybe highlight some places that are meaningful

to me, so maybe some places that I've lived, maybe the place that I grew up in the US,

maybe have a little special color for the place I grew up in the US, or the city where

I studied abroad in the UK, or maybe where I lived in France, or where we lived in Korea.

Those places have really special meanings to me.

I feel like that meaning isn't going to change over time.

Dan: Yeah.

Maybe you could color in the new countries you visit.

Vanessa: Oh, it's kind of like a map that I just color in as I visit new places.

Dan: Yeah.

Then eventually you have to color in the whole world.

Vanessa: Oh, that could be an interesting idea.

I guess if I did that, I could get a circle because you couldn't see all the places.

I'd have to be- Dan: I needs to be on your back.

Vanessa: Oh, a giant map.

Dan: Like the map behind us.

Vanessa: Like this map just on my back.

So, I want to know for you, do you have any tattoos?

If not, what kind of tattoo would you get?

Maybe for you, you would decide not to get a tattoo at all.

Dan: Yeah, speaking of tattoos- Vanessa: Yeah, how is ...

Dan: ... your tattoo is complete.

Vanessa: My tattoo is complete.

Dan: It's done.

Vanessa: All right.

Dan: It's simple.

Vanessa: It's simple.

Okay.

Dan: It's kind of ugly, too.

Vanessa: Well, the good news is it's temporary.

So, I'm going to show you.

Dan: The big reveal.

Vanessa: The big reveal what Dan drew on my arm.

Are you ready?

Dan: Are you ready?

Vanessa: I don't know.

Whoa.

Dan: Oh, that's so crooked, now that I look at it.

Vanessa: I love English.

All right.

I don't know if it's- Dan: It's a true statement.

Vanessa: ... if it's reversed for you.

But for me, it's the right way.

Dan: Yeah, it looks reversed on this video.

Vanessa: Oh, it's okay.

Dan: I don't know if it's reversed for you guys.

Vanessa: Well, for you, it's clear.

For me it's clear.

You can see that I love English.

Well, thank you.

Dan: Cupid has shot her heart and said, "She loves English."

Vanessa: Wow.

Well, if you have ever gotten a temporary tattoo or a henna tattoo, like this, it only

stays for maybe a week, maybe two weeks if you're lucky, at least in my experience.

So, it won't be there for very long.

But, it will be enjoyable while it lasts.

Dan: Enjoyable, yes.

Vanessa: Yes.

Dan: It was difficult because you were moving a little bit.

Vanessa: Oh.

Dan: That's why it's not good.

Vanessa: That's why.

I'm sure.

Dan: That's the only reason.

Vanessa: I'm sure.

Yes.

Well, thank you so much for your hard work making this tattoo.

I hope that for you you got to use some of these hypothetical if sentences.

If I got a tattoo, it would be a heart.

Dan: A heart.

Vanessa: That says- Dan: That says I love English.

Vanessa: ... I love English.

I'm sorry, Dan.

In reality, I would never get this tattoo.

I'm glad it's temporary.

Dan: You don't love my art?

Vanessa: But I appreciate that it's temporary.

Dan: Me, too, actually.

Vanessa: Yes.

So, thank you for being willing to do this spontaneously.

If you would like to continue to learn English with me and continue to learn English with

Dan ... Today's lesson was pretty silly, just a fun, live lesson, a good interaction where

you can learn English for 20 minutes, challenge yourself to hear something live, not planned,

completely spontaneous.

I'd like to let you know, if you would like to join me to speak about tattoos, you can

join Alana where we talk about about tattoos.

For the month of October, 2018, you're going to learn vocabulary with Dan and I.

We have a one-hour vocabulary lesson every month talking about the vocabulary that was

used in the conversation.

You're also going to learn some important grammar points and pronunciation as well.

So, I hope that you'll really be able to master English and practice as much as possible.

A lot of members also join our private Facebook group and speak together.

That's one of the benefits, is that you get to meet really dedicated English learners.

We have a live lesson every Sunday on Facebook for members of the Fearless Fluency Club.

Dan: Members only.

Vanessa: Yes.

I hope that you can join me and my tattoo and that you can enjoy learning English in

a fun way.

Thanks so much for joining me today.

Thanks, Dan- Dan: You're welcome.

Vanessa: ... for joining me.

Pretty silly lesson today, but I hope that you enjoyed it.

Make sure that you subscribe so that you can get future lessons every Friday.

You can join us here on YouTube, and you can become my personal student in the Fearless

Fluency Club.

Thank you so much for joining me.

I'll see you again the next time.

Bye.

Dan: Bye.