Gossip in English & How to Deal with It โ€” Speak Confident English

63,774 views ใƒป 2019-04-03

Speak Confident English


์•„๋ž˜ ์˜๋ฌธ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ”ํด๋ฆญํ•˜์‹œ๋ฉด ์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋ฒˆ์—ญ๋œ ์ž๋ง‰์€ ๊ธฐ๊ณ„ ๋ฒˆ์—ญ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.

00:00
Hey, it's Annemarie with Speak Confident English and for this week's lesson we're
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์•ˆ๋…•ํ•˜์„ธ์š”, Speak Confident English์˜ Annemarie์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ด๋ฒˆ ์ฃผ ์ˆ˜์—…์—์„œ๋Š”
00:05
going to focus on a pretty delicate topic.
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๋งค์šฐ ์„ฌ์„ธํ•œ ์ฃผ์ œ์— ์ดˆ์ ์„ ๋งž์ถœ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:09
We're going to focus on those conversations that usually start with something
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์œผ๋กœ "
00:13
like, oh my God, did you hear what she did yesterday?
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๋ง™์†Œ์‚ฌ, ๊ทธ๋…€๊ฐ€ ์–ด์ œ ํ•œ ์ผ ๋“ค์—ˆ์–ด? "์™€ ๊ฐ™์€ ๊ฒƒ์œผ๋กœ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•˜๋Š” ๋Œ€ํ™”์— ์ดˆ์ ์„ ๋งž์ถœ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:17
Those words are often a hint that the next thing someone says is going to be
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๊ทธ ๋ง์€ ์ข…์ข… ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ๋‹ค์Œ์— ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ๊ฐ€์‹ญ
00:23
some gossip. They're going to talk badly about somebody else. Now,
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์ด ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ด๋ผ๋Š” ์•”์‹œ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋‚˜์˜๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ž, Confident English Community์˜
00:28
if you're like me and many others in the Confident English Community,
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์ €์™€ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋งŽ์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๊ณผ ๊ฐ™๋‹ค๋ฉด
00:32
you don't really like gossip.
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๊ฐ€์‹ญ์„ ๋ณ„๋กœ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:34
You don't like participating in it and you definitely don't want to listen to
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ์ฐธ์—ฌํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์œผ๋ฉฐ ํ™•์‹คํžˆ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์˜ ๋ง์„ ๋“ฃ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
00:39
someone else. Talk badly about someone that you care about.
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. ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์•„๋ผ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋‚˜์˜๊ฒŒ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค .
00:43
Maybe a friend, a family member or a coworker,
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์นœ๊ตฌ, ๊ฐ€์กฑ ๋˜๋Š” ์ง์žฅ ๋™๋ฃŒ์ผ ์ˆ˜๋„
00:47
and what I love is that this particular lesson actually came from a question
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์žˆ๊ณ  ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ด ํŠน์ • ๊ฐ•์˜๊ฐ€ ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ
00:52
from someone in the Confident English Community several months ago I did a
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๋ช‡ ๋‹ฌ ์ „์— Confident English Community์—์„œ ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์˜ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์—์„œ ๋‚˜์™”๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ €๋Š”
00:57
lesson on how to answer uncomfortable questions in English. For example,
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๋ถˆํŽธํ•œ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์— ์˜์–ด๋กœ ๋Œ€๋‹ตํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๊ฐ•์˜๋ฅผ ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ๋“ค์–ด
01:02
if someone asks a rude or inappropriate question,
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ๋ฌด๋ก€ํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๋ถ€์ ์ ˆํ•œ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ํ•˜๋ฉด
01:06
what should you say? How do you handle that situation?
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์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ? ๊ทธ ์ƒํ™ฉ์„ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ฒ˜๋ฆฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
01:10
And on my youtube channel and someone left a comment and they asked me to
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ œ ์œ ํŠœ๋ธŒ ์ฑ„๋„์— ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ๋Œ“๊ธ€์„ ๋‚จ๊ฒผ๋Š”๋ฐ ๊ฐ™์ด
01:15
address the situation of what to do when a friend that you spend a lot of time
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์‹œ๊ฐ„์„ ๋งŽ์ด ๋ณด๋‚ด๋Š” ์นœ๊ตฌ๊ฐ€
01:21
with tends to gossip about other people and you don't really like it.
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ํ—˜๋‹ดํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒฝํ–ฅ์ด ์žˆ๊ณ  ๋ณ„๋กœ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์„ ๋•Œ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•˜๋Š”์ง€ ์ƒํ™ฉ์„ ํ•ด๊ฒฐํ•ด ๋‹ฌ๋ผ๊ณ  ์š”์ฒญํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:26
You'd like it to stop but you're not sure how to ask her to Stop Gossiping in a
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๊ทธ๋งŒํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€๋งŒ ์ข‹์€ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์œผ๋กœ ๊ทธ๋…€์—๊ฒŒ ๊ทธ๋งŒ ํ—˜๋‹ด์„ ์š”์ฒญํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์„ ์ž˜ ๋ชจ๋ฅด๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
01:33
nice way. So that is exactly what we're going to work on in this lesson.
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. ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ๋ฐ”๋กœ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์ด ์ˆ˜์—…์—์„œ ์ž‘์—…ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:50
The good news is when you want to politely or kindly ask someone to stop
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์ข‹์€ ์†Œ์‹์€ ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์—๊ฒŒ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋‚˜์˜๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•˜์ง€ ๋ง๋ผ๊ณ  ๊ณต์†ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋˜๋Š” ์นœ์ ˆํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋ถ€ํƒํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์„ ๋•Œ
01:56
speaking badly about somebody else,
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01:58
there are three simple strategies and in this lesson I'm going to tell you
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์„ธ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ๊ฐ„๋‹จํ•œ ์ „๋žต์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
02:03
exactly what those strategies are and give you some examples.
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.
02:07
But before we do that,
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ ์ „์—
02:08
I also want to share with you some common language and expressions that we use
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02:13
to talk about gossip in English. For example,
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์˜์–ด๋กœ ๊ฐ€์‹ญ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•  ๋•Œ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๋Š” ๊ณตํ†ต ์–ธ์–ด์™€ ํ‘œํ˜„์„ ๊ณต์œ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ๋“ค์–ด, ์–ด๋–ค
02:17
you might hear that someone wants to dish some dirt or chew the fat,
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์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ํ™์„ ๊น”๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์ง€๋ฐฉ์„ ์”น๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๋ง์„ ๋“ค์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:22
and what that means is they want to share some gossip with you.
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๊ทธ ๋ง์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋‹น์‹ ๊ณผ ์žก๋‹ด์„ ๋‚˜๋ˆ„๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๋œป์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:27
And of course when someone gossips,
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋ฌผ๋ก  ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ํ—˜๋‹ด์„ ํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ทธ
02:29
one of the consequences is that those rumors spread to other people and we refer
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๊ฒฐ๊ณผ ์ค‘ ํ•˜๋‚˜๋Š” ๊ทธ ์†Œ๋ฌธ์ด ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ํผ์ง„๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
02:36
to that as stabbing someone in the back or bad mouthing someone.
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.
02:42
So if you've got a coworker or even a friend who often bad mouth other people,
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ์ง์žฅ ๋™๋ฃŒ๋‚˜ ์นœ๊ตฌ๊ฐ€ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์„ ์ž์ฃผ ์š•ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒฝ์šฐ
02:48
and again you just want to ask them to stop,
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๊ทธ๋งŒํ•˜๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์„ ๋•Œ ์นœ์ ˆ
02:51
here are three strategies to help you do that in a kind and polite way.
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ํ•˜๊ณ  ์˜ˆ์˜ ๋ฐ”๋ฅด๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ ๋„์›€์ด ๋˜๋Š” ์„ธ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์ „๋žต์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:56
Strategy number one is to change it. In other words,
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์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ์ „๋žต์€ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ฐ”๊พธ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ฆ‰,
03:00
immediately change the topic.
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์ฆ‰์‹œ ์ฃผ์ œ๋ฅผ ๋ณ€๊ฒฝํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
03:02
So if you're in a conversation with someone and they say something like,
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์™€ ๋Œ€ํ™” ์ค‘์ด๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด "
03:07
oh my gosh, did you hear what she did yesterday?
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์˜ค ๋งˆ์ด ๊ฐ“, ์–ด์ œ ๊ทธ๋…€๊ฐ€ ํ•œ ์ผ ๋“ค์—ˆ์–ด? "์™€ ๊ฐ™์€ ๋ง์„ ํ•œ๋‹ค๋ฉด?
03:10
You know that the next thing coming is some kind of gossip or rumor.
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๋‹ค์Œ์— ์˜ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ผ์ข…์˜ ๊ฐ€์‹ญ์ด๋‚˜ ์†Œ๋ฌธ์ด๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:15
And if you don't want to hear it or you don't want to participate in it,
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋“ฃ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€ ์•Š๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์ฐธ์—ฌํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€ ์•Š๋‹ค๋ฉด
03:19
you can immediately change the subject.
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์ฆ‰์‹œ ์ฃผ์ œ๋ฅผ ๋ณ€๊ฒฝํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:22
So here are three examples of how to do that.
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์ด๋ฅผ ์ˆ˜ํ–‰ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์„ธ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์˜ˆ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:25
When a friend starts that conversation with, oh my gosh,
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์นœ๊ตฌ๊ฐ€ ๊ทธ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•  ๋•Œ , ์˜ค ๋งˆ์ด ๊ฐ“,
03:29
did you hear what happened yesterday? You can simply say no.
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์–ด์ œ ๋ฌด์Šจ ์ผ์ด ์žˆ์—ˆ๋Š”์ง€ ๋“ค์—ˆ์–ด? ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋‹จ์ˆœํžˆ ์•„๋‹ˆ์˜ค๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:33
But anyway,
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์–ด์จŒ๋“ ,
03:34
have you started watching that new TV series or no,
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๊ทธ ์ƒˆ TV ์‹œ๋ฆฌ์ฆˆ๋ฅผ ๋ณด๊ธฐ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ–ˆ๋‚˜์š”,
03:38
I didn't anyway, are you going to the concert next week? And finally,
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์•ˆ ๋ดค์–ด์š”. ๋‹ค์Œ ์ฃผ์— ์ฝ˜์„œํŠธ์— ๊ฐ€์‹ค ๊ฑด๊ฐ€์š”? ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋งˆ์ง€๋ง‰์œผ๋กœ,
03:43
no, I didn't. But anyway,
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์•„๋‹ˆ, ๋‚˜๋Š” ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์•˜๋‹ค. ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์–ด์จŒ๋“  ์ง€๋‚œ์ฃผ
03:45
tell me about how your presentation went last week and all of those examples.
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ํ”„๋ ˆ์  ํ…Œ์ด์…˜์ด ์–ด๋• ๋Š”์ง€ ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ ๋ชจ๋“  ์˜ˆ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋ง์”€ํ•ด ์ฃผ์„ธ์š”.
03:50
I'm using a really simple formula. I'm saying no,
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์ •๋ง ๊ฐ„๋‹จํ•œ ๊ณต์‹์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:53
that I didn't hear this important information and frankly I don't care.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ์ด ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ์ •๋ณด๋ฅผ ๋“ฃ์ง€ ๋ชปํ–ˆ๊ณ  ์†”์งํžˆ ์ƒ๊ด€ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋Š”๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:59
Anyway, I want to move on to another topic.
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์–ด์จŒ๋“  ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์ฃผ์ œ๋กœ ๋„˜์–ด๊ฐ€๊ณ  ์‹ถ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:03
It's a really simple formula and it makes it easy to transition to another
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์ •๋ง ๊ฐ„๋‹จํ•œ ๊ณต์‹์ด๋ฉฐ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์ฃผ์ œ๋กœ ์‰ฝ๊ฒŒ ์ „ํ™˜ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
04:07
topic. Now, if that doesn't work,
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. ์ž, ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด ํ†ตํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋Š”๋‹ค๋ฉด,
04:11
if you have someone who persists in saying negative things about other people,
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๊ณ„์†ํ•ด์„œ ๋ถ€์ •์ ์ธ ๋ง์„ ํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด,
04:17
then you can use strategy number two, which is simply shut it down.
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๋‘ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ์ „๋žต์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
04:21
And there are a couple of ways that you can do that.
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๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:24
The first thing you can do is simply be honest. For example,
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๋‹น์‹ ์ด ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ์ผ์€ ๋‹จ์ˆœํžˆ ์ •์งํ•ด์ง€๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ๋“ค์–ด, ๋“ฑ
04:28
you could say something like,
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04:30
I don't really feel like talking about someone behind their back,
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๋’ค์—์„œ ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€ ์•Š๋‹ค
04:33
or I feel bad talking about someone when they're not here. And finally,
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๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ์—ฌ๊ธฐ ์—†์„ ๋•Œ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ๊ธฐ๋ถ„์ด ์ข‹์ง€ ์•Š๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋งˆ์ง€๋ง‰์œผ๋กœ,
04:38
you know, I'm not really into gossip.
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์ €๋Š” ๊ฐ€์‹ญ์— ๋ณ„๋กœ ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:42
I'm not really into,
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I'm not really into,
04:44
this is a great expression to say that it's something that you're not interested
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์—†๊ฑฐ๋‚˜
04:48
in or you don't enjoy. I'm not really into, I'm not really into gossip.
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์ฆ๊ธฐ์ง€ ์•Š๋Š” ์–ด๋–ค ๊ฒƒ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๊ธฐ์— ์ข‹์€ ํ‘œํ˜„์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‚˜๋Š” ๊ฐ€์‹ญ์— ๋ณ„๋กœ ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:53
Then after you've been honest about how you feel,
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋‹ค์Œ ์ž์‹ ์˜ ๊ฐ์ •์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์†”์งํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•œ ํ›„
04:56
you can ask to simply change the topic. For example,
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๋‹จ์ˆœํžˆ ์ฃผ์ œ๋ฅผ ๋ณ€๊ฒฝํ•˜๋„๋ก ์š”์ฒญํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ๋“ค์–ด,
05:00
you might say something like, so can we talk about something else?
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๋‹ค์Œ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์ด ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
05:04
Or do you mind if we change the subject?
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์•„๋‹ˆ๋ฉด ์ฃผ์ œ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๊ฟ”๋„ ๋ ๊นŒ์š”?
05:08
Once you put those two things together,
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์ด ๋‘ ๊ฐ€์ง€๋ฅผ ํ•ฉ์น˜๋ฉด
05:10
being honest about how you feel and requesting the change the subject,
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์ž์‹ ์˜ ๊ฐ์ •์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ •์งํ•˜๊ณ  ์ฃผ์ œ ๋ณ€๊ฒฝ์„ ์š”์ฒญํ•˜๋ฉด
05:14
here's how it might sound. The next time someone says something like, oh my gosh,
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๋‹ค์Œ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์ด ๋“ค๋ฆด ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹ค์Œ ๋ฒˆ์— ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ์ด๋Ÿฐ ๋ง์„ ํ•˜๋ฉด, ๋ง™์†Œ์‚ฌ, ๋“ค์—ˆ์–ด? ๋ผ๊ณ 
05:19
did you hear about, you could say, you know,
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๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
05:23
I'm not really comfortable with gossip.
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.
05:25
Do you mind if we talk about something else or, yeah,
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•ด๋„ ๋ ๊นŒ์š”, ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ฉด, ์˜ˆ,
05:28
I'm not really into gossip. Let's talk about something else. As you can see,
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์ €๋Š” ๊ฐ€์‹ญ์— ๋ณ„๋กœ ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–˜๊ธฐ ํ•ด๋ณด์ž. ๋ณด์‹œ๋‹ค์‹œํ”ผ,
05:33
when we put those together with the right intonation,
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์˜ฌ๋ฐ”๋ฅธ ์–ต์–‘๊ณผ
05:37
when we stay friendly and polite,
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์นœ์ ˆํ•˜๊ณ  ๊ณต์†ํ•œ ํƒœ๋„๋ฅผ ์œ ์ง€ํ•˜๋ฉด
05:39
it's a perfect way to immediately shut down that gossip or negative talk.
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๊ฐ€์‹ญ์ด๋‚˜ ๋ถ€์ •์ ์ธ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์ฆ‰์‹œ ์ฐจ๋‹จํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ์™„๋ฒฝํ•œ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:45
Once you have those two strategies,
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์ด ๋‘ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์ „๋žต, ์ฆ‰
05:47
the strategy of changing the topic or shutting down that situation where
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์ฃผ์ œ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๊พธ๊ฑฐ๋‚˜
05:52
everyone wants to dish the dirt,
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๋ชจ๋“  ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ํ™์„ ํŒŒ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•˜๋Š” ์ƒํ™ฉ์„ ์ข…๋ฃŒํ•˜๋Š” ์ „๋žต์ด ์žˆ์œผ๋ฉด
05:54
you can start using strategy number three and this one's a little bit different.
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์„ธ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ์ „๋žต์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์œผ๋ฉฐ ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์•ฝ๊ฐ„ ๋‹ค๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:59
It's more longterm,
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๋” ์žฅ๊ธฐ์ 
06:01
and the ultimate goal is to create an opportunity for change.
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์ด๋ฉฐ ๊ถ๊ทน์ ์ธ ๋ชฉํ‘œ๋Š” ๋ณ€ํ™”์˜ ๊ธฐํšŒ๋ฅผ ๋งŒ๋“œ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:05
In other words to encourage your friend or coworker to Stop Gossiping about
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๋‹ค์‹œ ๋งํ•ด, ์นœ๊ตฌ ๋‚˜ ๋™๋ฃŒ๊ฐ€ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ํ—˜๋‹ด์„ ๊ทธ๋งŒ๋‘๊ณ 
06:11
other people and instead focus more on speaking positively.
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๋Œ€์‹  ๊ธ์ •์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ ๋” ์ง‘์ค‘ํ•˜๋„๋ก ๊ฒฉ๋ คํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
06:16
A great way to do that is to simply talk about advice or values that you have
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๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฐ€์žฅ ์ข‹์€ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์€ ์นœ๊ตฌ์™€ ๋Œ€ํ™”ํ•  ๋•Œ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š” ์กฐ์–ธ์ด๋‚˜ ๊ฐ€์น˜๊ด€์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๊ฐ„๋‹จํžˆ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
06:21
when you're having a conversation with your friend.
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.
06:24
So the next time that you're having lunch or coffee with a friend who often
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ๋‹ค์Œ ๋ฒˆ์— ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ž์ฃผ ํ—˜๋‹ด์„ ํ•˜๋Š” ์นœ๊ตฌ์™€ ์ ์‹ฌ์ด๋‚˜ ์ปคํ”ผ๋ฅผ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ํ•  ๋•Œ
06:29
speaks badly about other people,
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,
06:31
you can simply start talking about the things that are important to you and what
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์ž์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ๋“ค๊ณผ
06:36
you think about gossip and use it as an opportunity to have a discussion.
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๊ฐ€์‹ญ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์ƒ๊ฐ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ธฐ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•˜๊ณ  ์ด๋ฅผ ๊ธฐํšŒ๋กœ ์‚ผ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ํ† ๋ก .
06:41
Let me give you an example. You might say something like, you know,
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์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ๋“ค์–ด ๋ณด๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:45
recently I read this really interesting article that had some advice about how
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์ตœ๊ทผ์— ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์กฐ์–ธ์ด ๋‹ด๊ธด ์ •๋ง ํฅ๋ฏธ๋กœ์šด ๊ธฐ์‚ฌ๋ฅผ ์ฝ์—ˆ๋Š”๋ฐ
06:49
to talk about people and they had this interesting idea that every time you're
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06:55
going to say something about someone,
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋งํ•  ๋•Œ๋งˆ๋‹ค ๋‹ค์Œ ์„ธ ๊ฐ€์ง€๋ฅผ
06:57
you should ask yourself three questions first. Like,
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์Šค์Šค๋กœ์—๊ฒŒ ๋ฌผ์–ด๋ด์•ผ ํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ํฅ๋ฏธ๋กœ์šด ์•„์ด๋””์–ด๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์งˆ๋ฌธ ๋จผ์ €. ์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ๋“ค์–ด,
07:01
is this something that is kind about someone else?
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์—๊ฒŒ ์นœ์ ˆํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
07:04
Is it necessary for me to say and is it helpful?
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๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋งํ•  ํ•„์š”๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๊ณ  ๋„์›€์ด ๋˜๋Š”๊ฐ€?
07:08
And I thought that was really interesting and a great way to avoid talking badly
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋‚˜๋Š” ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ •๋ง ํฅ๋ฏธ๋กญ๊ณ  ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋‚˜์˜๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ํ”ผํ•˜๋Š” ์ข‹์€ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
07:13
about other people. I don't know. What do you think?
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. ๋ชจ๋ฅด๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋‚˜์š”?
07:16
Now that was just an example,
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹จ์ง€ ์˜ˆ์ผ ๋ฟ์ด์ง€๋งŒ
07:18
but you could use something similar if you read something online or hear some
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์˜จ๋ผ์ธ์—์„œ ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ์ฝ๊ฑฐ๋‚˜
07:24
great advice on a podcast or a Confident English lesson...
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ํŒŸ์บ์ŠคํŠธ ๋˜๋Š” Confident English ์ˆ˜์—…์—์„œ ํ›Œ๋ฅญํ•œ ์กฐ์–ธ์„ ๋“ฃ๋Š”๋‹ค๋ฉด ๋น„์Šทํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค...
07:28
Simply talk about it with your friend and use it as an opportunity to discuss
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๊ฐ„๋‹จํžˆ ์นœ๊ตฌ์™€ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ ํ•˜๊ณ  ํ† ๋ก ํ•  ๊ธฐํšŒ๋กœ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
07:33
the role of gossip and how terrible it can be for other people and the fact that
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๊ฐ€์‹ญ์˜ ์—ญํ• ๊ณผ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ์–ผ๋งˆ๋‚˜ ๋”์ฐํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š”์ง€, ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ 
07:39
you're not really into it.
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๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ์ •๋ง๋กœ ๋น ์ ธ ์žˆ์ง€ ์•Š๋‹ค๋Š” ์‚ฌ์‹ค.
07:41
It's a great way to get someone else to think about the things that they say and
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๊ณผ
07:46
the consequences they might have or it's simply might be an opportunity for you
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๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๊ฐ€์งˆ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒฐ๊ณผ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋Š” ์ข‹์€ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋˜๋Š” ๋‹จ์ˆœํžˆ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์นœ๊ตฌ
07:52
to have an honest discussion with your friend and to be clear that you're not
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์™€ ์ •์งํ•œ ํ† ๋ก ์„ ํ•˜๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ฐ€์‹ญ์— ๋น ์ ธ ์žˆ์ง€ ์•Š๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ถ„๋ช…ํžˆ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ธฐํšŒ์ผ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:57
into gossip, you don't enjoy it and you don't want to participate in it. Now,
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, ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ฆ๊ธฐ์ง€ ์•Š๊ณ  ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ์ฐธ์—ฌํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ด์ œ
08:02
as always,
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08:02
I've got a challenge question for you so you have the opportunity to practice
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ํ•ญ์ƒ ๊ทธ๋ ‡๋“ฏ์ด
์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์„ ์œ„ํ•œ ๋„์ „์ ์ธ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜ค๋Š˜
08:06
some of this language that we've talked about today. But before we do that,
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•œ ์ด ์–ธ์–ด๋ฅผ ์—ฐ์Šตํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ธฐํšŒ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ ์ „์—
08:11
if you found this lesson useful to you, I would love to know,
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์ด ๊ฐ•์˜๊ฐ€ ์œ ์šฉํ•˜๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐ๋˜์‹œ๋ฉด ์•Œ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:14
and there are three simple ways that you can tell me. Number one,
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๊ฐ„๋‹จํ•œ ์„ธ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์„ ์•Œ๋ ค์ฃผ์‹œ๋ฉด ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•˜๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ฒซ์งธ,
08:18
give this video a thumbs up on Youtube and subscribe to this channel so you
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YouTube์—์„œ ์ด ๋™์˜์ƒ์„ ์—„์ง€์ฒ™ํ•˜๊ณ  ์ด ์ฑ„๋„์„ ๊ตฌ๋…ํ•˜์—ฌ
08:22
never miss a lesson. Number two, share it with friends and coworkers on Facebook.
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์ˆ˜์—…์„ ๋†“์น˜์ง€ ๋งˆ์„ธ์š”. ๋‘ ๋ฒˆ์งธ, Facebook์—์„œ ์นœ๊ตฌ ๋ฐ ๋™๋ฃŒ์™€ ๊ณต์œ ํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
08:28
And finally, if you have a friend who could use some good advice,
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๋งˆ์ง€๋ง‰์œผ๋กœ ์ข‹์€ ์กฐ์–ธ์„ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ์นœ๊ตฌ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด
08:32
share this lesson with them by email. So now let's get to the challenge question.
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์ด๋ฉ”์ผ๋กœ ์ด ๊ฐ•์˜๋ฅผ ๊ณต์œ ํ•˜์„ธ์š”. ๊ทธ๋Ÿผ ์ด์ œ ๋„์ „ ๊ณผ์ œ๋กœ ๋“ค์–ด๊ฐ€ ๋ด…์‹œ๋‹ค. ๋™๋ฃŒ ์ค‘
08:37
Imagine that you're having lunch with one of your coworkers and it's someone you
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ํ•œ ๋ช…๊ณผ ์ ์‹ฌ์„ ๋จน๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š”๋ฐ
08:41
really like. You spend a lot of time together,
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์ •๋ง ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ์ƒํ•ด ๋ณด์„ธ์š”. ๊ฐ™์ด ์žˆ๋Š” ์‹œ๊ฐ„๋„ ๋งŽ๊ณ  ์ฃผ๋ง์—๋„ ๊ฐ€๋”
08:44
you even hang out on the weekends sometimes,
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๋†€๋Ÿฌ ๋‹ค๋‹ˆ๊ธฐ๋„ ํ•˜๋Š”๋ฐ
08:47
but this coworker often speaks badly about other people in the office and you
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์ด ๋™๋ฃŒ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋ฌด์‹ค์—์„œ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ ์š•์„ ์ž์ฃผ ํ•˜๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์€
08:53
like some of those other people,
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์„ ์ข‹์•„ํ•ด์„œ ๋งˆ์Œ์ด
08:55
so it makes you feel uncomfortable and you really wish she wouldn't do that.
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๋ถˆํŽธํ•˜๊ณ  ์ œ๋ฐœ ๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ์ง€ ๋งˆ. ๊ทธ๋…€์—๊ฒŒ ์ค‘์ง€๋ฅผ ์š”์ฒญํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์ฃผ์ œ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๊พธ๋ผ๊ณ  ์š”์ฒญํ•˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด
09:01
What strategy would you use from this lesson to ask her to stop or to change the
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์ด ์ˆ˜์—…์—์„œ ์–ด๋–ค ์ „๋žต์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ
09:06
topic? The best way for you to share with me,
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? Confident English ์ปค๋ฎค๋‹ˆํ‹ฐ์—์„œ ์ €์™€ ๊ณต์œ ํ•˜๊ณ ,
09:09
get feedback and learn from others in the Confident English community is to
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ํ”ผ๋“œ๋ฐฑ์„ ๋ฐ›๊ณ , ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๋กœ๋ถ€ํ„ฐ ๋ฐฐ์šธ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฐ€์žฅ ์ข‹์€ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์€ ๋Œ“๊ธ€ ์„น์…˜์—์„œ
09:13
share your comments just below this lesson in the comment section. With that,
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์ด ๊ฐ•์˜ ๋ฐ”๋กœ ์•„๋ž˜์— ์žˆ๋Š” ๋Œ“๊ธ€์„ ๊ณต์œ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
09:18
thank you so much for joining me and I look forward to seeing you next time for
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์ €์™€ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ํ•ด์ฃผ์…”์„œ ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹ค์Œ ์‹œ๊ฐ„์—
09:21
your Confident English lesson.
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Confident English ๋ ˆ์Šจ์—์„œ ๋ต™๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๊ธฐ๋Œ€ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
์ด ์›น์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ ์ •๋ณด

์ด ์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ๋Š” ์˜์–ด ํ•™์Šต์— ์œ ์šฉํ•œ YouTube ๋™์˜์ƒ์„ ์†Œ๊ฐœํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ „ ์„ธ๊ณ„ ์ตœ๊ณ ์˜ ์„ ์ƒ๋‹˜๋“ค์ด ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์น˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ˆ˜์—…์„ ๋ณด๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ฐ ๋™์˜์ƒ ํŽ˜์ด์ง€์— ํ‘œ์‹œ๋˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ” ํด๋ฆญํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ณณ์—์„œ ๋™์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋น„๋””์˜ค ์žฌ์ƒ์— ๋งž์ถฐ ์ž๋ง‰์ด ์Šคํฌ๋กค๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜๊ฒฌ์ด๋‚˜ ์š”์ฒญ์ด ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒฝ์šฐ ์ด ๋ฌธ์˜ ์–‘์‹์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์—ฌ ๋ฌธ์˜ํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.

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