The Secret To Communicating Effectively In English

Do you struggle to communicate your ideas in  English? If you aren’t good at communicating  

in your native language then you are likely not  to be good at communicating in English either.  

I know communication is generally a skill  that we all could improve, because of this,  

in this lesson you will learn: -> What makes a good communicator? 

-> Why communication is different from speaking -> And I have a special surprise for  

you at the end so don't go anywhere! To understand fast speaking natives, be understood  

by anyone and connect to the world make sure you  hit that Subscribe button and the Bell down below. 

That's exactly what this fan did and they say that  our channel has improved their overall fluency,  

so join our growing global community, so  you don't miss any of our new lessons.

Communication is like being on a roundabout. There are things coming from  

all different directions. You have the  speaker, the listener and the message. 

Sometimes you can go ahead, sometimes  you've got to wait for your turn,  

and other times you even change the course as  you go. But, the way each of these elements are  

involved in the communication process can  take it to totally different directions. 

Before we dive into the skills you need to develop  to become an effective communicator, I want you to  

reflect on this question: What is Communication? Is it talking and listening? Is it giving a  

speech? Communication does involve getting  information from one person to another, but  

it’s so much more than that. "Communication is the  art and process of creating and sharing ideas."

Unfortunately, we live in a world of separation.  Of "Us vs. Them." Of "We're number one,  

they're the enemy." But what if there was a  tool that would allow us to go beyond these  

petty differences and see our similarities as  human beings and ultimately as a global family. 

Never before in human history have we been  so interconnected. You can talk with people  

across time zones and get informed about  what's happening over 5 000 kilometers away.  

You can be anywhere in the world  without even leaving your home. 

It's crazy to think that, right?  Communication goes beyond just speaking.  

Success in communicating your ideas will  lead to understanding, empathy and change.  

You have the power to be a global citizen.  That's what we believe here at RealLife English:  

speaking a common language helps  us create a world beyond borders. 

As you share your personal experience with others,  all while gaining the knowledge and understanding  

to change the world for the better.  Join our global community now.

Now if you want to feel more confident when  you're communicating in English and create more  

positive connections for life I want to tell  you that you should join our Fluency Circle.  

A group of learners who have the power  to communicate with each other every day. 

The Fluency Circle is a global  community of language learners  

who have taken part in the  Native Immersion Course. 

Now, the Native Immersion Course will take you  on an adventure of the English language over 41  

weeks. It's a fun, natural and convenient way to  learn English from the comfort of your own home. 

And of course you can try it for FREE today  with our 3-Part Power Learning Series. To get  

started today click up here or if you're on a cell  phone click on the link in the description below.

First and foremost being a good communicator  goes beyond just maintaining a good conversation.  

Everyone's goal is to be understood and how  can you ensure you are getting or understanding  

what the other person is trying to tell you? Well you have to develop your communication  

skills. They are the tools we use to  remove the barriers in communication,  

listening, understanding and responding.  Let's take a look at each one of them.

What's your listening habit?  Are you the type of person who  

fakes your attention? Do you interrupt people  when they are speaking? Maybe you listen while  

typing an email or looking at your phone? Take a minute to reflect on that.  

We sometimes do these things without even being  aware of them. However that sends a hidden message  

that prevents good communication from happening. Ideally we should all aim at being active  

listeners that is listening with intent. A  way of supporting the other person. When we  

have someone paying close attention and showing  interest in what we're saying we feel flattered. 

And it usually makes us feel good about ourselves. So how do you demonstrate interest? Well,  

it's quite easy. Visibly give the person your  full attention, not only with your ears but  

also with your whole body, turn to face them,  intently gaze at the person and help them speak. 

Good listening also includes acting in a  way that is considerate of the other person. 

A good listener will acknowledge the  other person's idea and even help them,  

if needed. Sometimes the person is having  difficulties getting their idea across,  

so you can help them by showing positive  encouragement, you can nod, smile and  

make positive noises to show your approval. A fundamental attitude to support this is to  

value the person's opinion even if you do not  agree completely with what they have to say. 

If you disagree find a way you can disagree with  their argument and not with the person. Show your  

acceptance of their right to differ with you,  whilst stating your opposition to what they say.

That brings me to the second aspect of  good communication which is understanding.  

Stephen Covey says that understanding  others before trying to be understood  

is a habit of highly effective people. You can learn more about his ideas and how  

to learn English effectively with this  lesson based on the best-selling book  

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Now the same words have different meanings  depending on how we interpret them. This  

is often where communication breakdown  happens. People won't always understand  

your ideas the same way as you. How we interpret what we hear or  

read is affected by the thought we have in  our minds when we are listening thus the  

importance of focused and active listening. Another golden tip to build the bridge in  

communicating well is finding a balance  between asking questions and using statements. 

This will help you build rapport and generate  connection with the other person rather than  

having them feeling like you're lecturing them. Asking positive questions is generally a good  

approach, both to test your own understanding  and also to demonstrate interest. 

There are many types of different  questions you can ask a person,  

such as, "So what you're saying is...? What you  mean is...? What you're trying to say is...?"

Another way of creating an atmosphere of  understanding is by giving extra meaning to  

the words you use through the use of intonation.  Check out how Andrea explained it in this lesson.

One great tip I can give you is to pause  before you dive into a response or comment  

about what the other person has said. Give yourself some time to notice your  

own internal references on the topic and  if you are truly openly listening or if  

your inferences are biased. This is if you already have  

a solid or strong opinion on a topic, pauses  are always good to emphasize what you're saying.

Think about what you would say and the  effect that it would likely have. Also,  

be ok with silence. We tend to feel uncomfortable  when there's a long pause in a conversation.  

Pauses can also be an invitation for the other  person to speak as well. Some people may need time  

to process what they heard and what they'll say. And finally, pay attention to how you react  

to what the other person says. There are  other elements involved in communication  

that go beyond the words you say. They are  body language, tone of voice, eye-contact. 

Sometimes, when you are not interested in what  the other person is saying or your mind is  

elsewhere while they are speaking, there are many  non-verbal signals that "speak louder than words."  

You may be nodding your head, but your lack of  eye-contact may show you're not listening to them. 

Or, you may answer a question, but your  tone of voice may underlie criticism.

So when you're responding use your body  language and your tone of voice correctly.  

Also make sure you maintain eye-contact so that  you can have highly effective conversations.

So, RealLifers, in this lesson we have looked  at the main important skills to become a good  

communicator. Remember the awkward conversation  we saw at the beginning? We don't want you to  

experience that ever again. So, now, we're  going to practice a REAL-LIFE conversation  

for you to start working on  your Communication Skills.

Here's the exercise: I want you to  film yourself while you're having a  

conversation. I'm going to ask you a question  and give you the beginning of your answer,  

then I want you to continue giving  your answer for about 30 seconds or so. 

Whilst you are answering have in mind what  we discussed, like your tone of voice,  

your eye-contact, intonation  and body language and so on. 

When you finish I invite you to  share it on your Instagram stories  

and make sure you tag us @reallife.english and  use the hashtag #RealLifeCommunication and we will  

happily share some of your stories. Aww yeah!!

You can start practicing these skills  right now! We at RealLife English have  

developed a unique App for you to connect  with anyone in the world and speak English. 

That's right, speak English  with anyone in the world.  

Embark on a global adventure and  join the list to be a tester of our  

exclusive speaking and listening App.  The link is in the description below. 

Last thing, if you want to keep learning run  over to our Instagram because I have a bonus  

lesson for you there. We also have lessons  for you every day on all of our channels,  

podcast and Instagram. So make sure you hit  the Subscribe button and the Bell down below,  

so you don't miss any of our new lessons  on the RealLife English channel. Aww yeah!!