5 Things You Should NOT Say in English — It's Actually RUDE!

Good morning Thiago. Hi. 

So, how's it going? What? Say it again. 

Um... I asked how's it going... I want you to send me the documents now  

because I'll start my  presentation, so I need to...

Have you ever been in a situation where the other  person thought you were being impolite when that  

really wasn't your intention? Or perhaps you've  never been in that situation, but you'd like to  

avoid it. You might be wondering "Why do I  need to learn how to be polite in English?"  

Well, learning how and when to use polite English  might help you avoid uncomfortable situations and  

might even make you more successful in academic  and business settings. In today's lesson we'll  

help you learn more about polite English so that  you don't make the same mistakes Thiago did. We'll  

look at why politeness matters, how you can be  more polite in English and we'll also do a quiz to  

see how polite you are. But before we get started,  if you're new here welcome! Every week we create  

lessons like this to help English learners go from  feeling like lost and insecure English learner,  

to being confident and natural English speakers.  If that sounds like something you want to do, then  

join our community of over 370 000 learners by  hitting that subscribe button and bell down below  

so you never miss out on any of our new lessons. Polite English. Why does it matter?

When we're hanging out with our friends and family  we often use informal English which is usually  

less polite than the English used in business  situations or when we're trying to show respect.  

For example, if you made a mistake at work, you  might say to your boss "I would like to apologize  

for any inconvenience caused." On the other  hand, if you made a mistake with your friends  

and family, you might just say "I'm so sorry about  that." One of the main reasons polite English is  

so important is that it's often seen as a sign  of respect towards the other person. You can use  

this when you're at work, at school or meeting new  people. You'll also appear more professional and  

likable which could lead to more success at school  or work. Okay so let's move on to how can you be  

more polite in English. So you might already  know the basics like saying please and thank you,  

but there's more to being polite than that.  Let's start by learning from Thiago's mistakes.  

Tip number one: body language. Whether you're on  a call or face to face, when it comes to being  

polite, your body language, tone and attitude  are all important. Many experts agree that 60  

to 90 percent of our communication is non-verbal,  which means that it's not just what you say, but  

how you say it. That matters in western countries  including the UK and US maintaining eye contact  

with the speaker shows that you are interested  in what they're saying. This also includes  

listening and not interrupting the speaker.  Mirroring is also a good way of communicating  

politeness and agreement during a conversation.  To mirror means to copy or have similar body  

language to the other person. This usually puts  the speaker at ease and shows them that you are  

on the same page emotionally. For example, if they  smile and seem enthusiastic, you could smile too.  

However if they seem sad, it might seem rude if  you start laughing and being playful. If you'd  

like to practice your body language and mirroring,  why not do so with the speaking partner? And you  

can find one using our RealLife English app.  This is the only place where anytime, anywhere,  

at the press of a button you can connect with  other English learners from around the world.  

You can have fascinating conversations about  your hobbies, your passions, your culture,  

even the latest RealLife English lessons.  You could talk about absolutely anything.  

So download it now for free by clicking  up here or down in the description below,  

or visit your favorite app store  and search for RealLife English.

Tip number two: use questions  instead of statements. 

Instead of telling someone to do something,  you can turn your statement into a question.  

Using questions makes you sound nicer and more  considerate of the other person. Even if you need  

something done right away, making it a question  will make the other person more willing to help.  

Also pay attention to your tone when making  requests. If you want to sound more polite you can  

use the rising tone in your request for help in  some of your sentences and questions. Most likely  

if it's a request it will end in please which must  be pronounced with a rising tone. Instead of "say  

it again", you could say "could you repeat that  please." Or "could you say that again please?"

Tip number three: use modal verbs to soften  requests. I've already mentioned that using  

questions is more polite than using statements,  however questions can be made even more polite  

with the use of modal verbs. Modal verbs such  as would, could, should, shall and might make  

any question or statement sound more polite.  Instead of "I want the stapler" you could say  

"I would like the stapler, please." Before you  continue watching, why not pause the video and  

let us know down in the comments if you would like  to learn more about modal verbs. Share your answer  

below and don't forget to add an encouraging  message to the other members of the community.

So, those tips were related to the mistakes  Thiago made. But here are a few more. 

Tip number four: add some explanation. When  you're communicating at work or school,  

it's often a good idea to add an explanation.  

If you're asking someone to do something for you  or you're explaining a problem, people often feel  

better when they know a few details. To add your  explanation, you can use words or phrases like so,  

because, therefore or that's why. Instead of  saying "finish this presentation by tomorrow",  

you could say "the client is coming tomorrow, so  I would like you to finish the presentation by  

then." Instead of saying "I didn't want to go to  your party", you could say "I didn't want to go  

to your party because I was really sick." Tip number five: use the passive voice.  

When something goes wrong at work or in a formal  setting, the passive voice becomes very important.  

This is great for polite English because you  can address a problem or issue without directly  

putting the blame on a particular person. This  will definitely save you from seeming mean.  

Instead of "Joe gave me the wrong information",  you can say "I was given the wrong information."  

Instead of saying "Sue broke the  computer, so I couldn't complete my work",  

you could say "the computer was broken,  so I couldn't complete my work."

Tip number six: use common polite  phrases. Here are a few polite phrases  

that you can use at work or in formal  situations when dealing with a problem.  

Instead of saying "I already told you this",  you could say "as I mentioned previously."  

Instead of saying "you must do this", you  could say "thanks in advance for your help."

Now let's do a quick quiz to  see if you're able to spot  

which of these sentences  is polite and which isn't.

This would depend on your tone,  but despite the word please,  

it still sounds too direct and might imply  that you think the person is often late.

This is too direct. Explaining why the answer  is "no" might help you sound more polite.

This sounds very demanding. It helps  to turn the statement into a question  

and use modal verbs and in  this case we'd use "could."

In formal and business situations,  blaming someone for the problem is  

impolite. The passive voice is a  way to avoid naming the subject.

Did you get all of the answers correct? If not,  don't worry. You can always watch this lesson  

again and retake the test. To recap, here  are the tips we covered in today's lesson. 

Tip number one: body language is  an important part of being polite. 

Tip number two: use questions  instead of statements. 

Tip number three: use modal  verbs to soften requests. 

Tip number four: add some  explanation to your statements. 

Tip number five: use the passive voice. Tip number six: use some common polite phrases.

Also if you have any questions about  today's lesson, head over to our Instagram  

@reallife.english. Be sure to check out our  stories. Every Monday and Friday you'll find  

a question box where you can share your  thoughts or questions about the lesson.  

Be sure to follow us on Instagram so  you can continue your learning with us.  

If you enjoyed today's lesson, then  be sure to watch this one next.