How to turn a conversation into a connection

383,640 views ใƒป 2023-11-29

Learn English with Rebecca


์•„๋ž˜ ์˜๋ฌธ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ”ํด๋ฆญํ•˜์‹œ๋ฉด ์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋ฒˆ์—ญ๋œ ์ž๋ง‰์€ ๊ธฐ๊ณ„ ๋ฒˆ์—ญ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.

00:00
Hi. I'm Rebecca from engVid. Today, I'm going
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์•ˆ๋…•. ์ €๋Š” engVid์˜ Rebecca์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ์˜ค๋Š˜์€ ์˜์–ด๊ฐ€ ๋ชจ๊ตญ์–ด๊ฐ€ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋”๋ผ๋„ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๊ณผ
00:03
to share with you one of the secrets of having
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00:06
better conversations with people, even when
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๋” ๋‚˜์€ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚˜๋ˆ„๋Š” ๋น„๊ฒฐ ์ค‘ ํ•˜๋‚˜๋ฅผ ์•Œ๋ ค๋“œ๋ฆฌ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
00:09
English is not your native language. I'm going
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.
00:12
to show you how you can turn a conversation into a connection with someone. And in this
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๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์™€์˜ ์—ฐ๊ฒฐ๋กœ ๋ฐ”๊พธ๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์„ ๋ณด์—ฌ ๋“œ๋ฆฌ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ด๋Ÿฐ
00:19
way, you're not only going to be able to improve
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๋ฐฉ์‹์œผ๋กœ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์€
00:22
your English, but I believe if you start using
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์˜์–ด ์‹ค๋ ฅ์„ ํ–ฅ์ƒ์‹œํ‚ฌ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„ ๋ฟ๋งŒ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ
00:24
some of these methods, you'll also be able to improve your relationships with people.
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์ด๋Ÿฌํ•œ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ• ์ค‘ ์ผ๋ถ€๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๊ธฐ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•˜๋ฉด ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๊ณผ์˜ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋„ ํ–ฅ์ƒํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„ ๊ฒƒ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ฏฟ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:30
And when we improve our relationships, we also improve our lives. So, let's see how
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ด€๊ณ„๊ฐ€ ๊ฐœ์„ ๋˜๋ฉด ์‚ถ๋„ ๊ฐœ์„ ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋Ÿผ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋Š”์ง€ ์‚ดํŽด๋ณด๊ณ 
00:37
to do it, and I'm going to show you lots of examples so you understand exactly what the
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, ์ „๋žต์ด ๋ฌด์—‡์ธ์ง€, ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๊ตฌํ˜„ํ•˜๋Š”์ง€ ์ •ํ™•ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ์ดํ•ดํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋„๋ก ๋งŽ์€ ์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ๋ณด์—ฌ๋“œ๋ฆฌ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
00:42
strategy is and how to implement it. Ready? Let's get started.
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. ์ค€๋น„๊ฐ€ ๋œ? ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•˜์ž.
00:47
So, the secret is to ask open questions rather
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๋น„๊ฒฐ์€
00:53
than closed questions. Let me explain to you
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๋‹ซํžŒ ์งˆ๋ฌธ๋ณด๋‹ค๋Š” ์—ด๋ฆฐ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:58
exactly what each of these are. So, closed
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๊ฐ๊ฐ์ด ๋ฌด์—‡์ธ์ง€ ์ •ํ™•ํžˆ ์„ค๋ช…ํ•ด ๋“œ๋ฆฌ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ํ์‡„ํ˜•
01:02
questions usually start with "are you", "were
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์งˆ๋ฌธ์€ ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์œผ๋กœ "are you", "were
01:07
you", "do you", "did you", and open questions
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you", "do you", "did you"๋กœ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•˜๊ณ , ๊ฐœ๋ฐฉํ˜• ์งˆ๋ฌธ์€
01:11
start with other words like "how" and "what".
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"how" ๋ฐ "what"๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์€ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋‹จ์–ด๋กœ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:15
But let's look at some examples, and you'll understand immediately because you already
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ์‚ดํŽด๋ณด๋ฉด ์ด๋ฏธ
01:19
used these... Both of these strategies, but
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์ด๋Ÿฌํ•œ ์ „๋žต์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ–ˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์ฆ‰์‹œ ์ดํ•ดํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‘ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์ „๋žต ๋ชจ๋‘ ์žˆ์ง€๋งŒ
01:22
maybe you didn't realize what the effect is.
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ํšจ๊ณผ๊ฐ€ ๋ฌด์—‡์ธ์ง€ ๊นจ๋‹ซ์ง€ ๋ชปํ–ˆ์„ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:26
So, let's understand. Let's look at this question.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿผ ์ดํ•ดํ•ด ๋ด…์‹œ๋‹ค. ์ด ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ์‚ดํŽด ๋ณด๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜ค๋Š˜
01:30
Did you have a good day? So, if someone asks
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ํ•˜๋ฃจ ์–ด ๋•Ÿ์–ด? ๊ทธ๋ ‡๋‹ค๋ฉด ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€
01:34
you, "Did you have a good day?", what would
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โ€œ ์˜ค๋Š˜ ์ž˜ ๋ณด๋‚ด์…จ๋‚˜์š”?โ€๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ฌป๋Š”๋‹ค๋ฉด ๋ญ๋ผ๊ณ 
01:37
you probably say? "Yes" or "No". Right? That's
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๋Œ€๋‹ตํ•˜์‹œ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ? "์˜ˆ ํ˜น์€ ์•„๋‹ˆ์˜ค". ์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ? ๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ๋‹ค์•ผ
01:41
it. Maybe you'll go on after that, or maybe
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. ๊ทธ ํ›„์—๋„ ๊ณ„์†ํ•  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋ ‡์ง€
01:45
not. Maybe that's it. Okay?
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์•Š์„ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์–ด์ฉŒ๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ๋‹ค์ผ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ข‹์•„์š”?
01:49
On the other hand, if you ask someone, "How
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๋ฐ˜๋ฉด์— ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์—๊ฒŒ โ€œ์˜ค๋Š˜
01:53
was your day?" Now, first of all, the person
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ํ•˜๋ฃจ ์–ด๋• ๋‚˜์š”?โ€๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ฌป๋Š”๋‹ค๋ฉด, ์šฐ์„  , ๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์€
01:57
doesn't have the option to say yes or no because
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02:01
the answer to "How was your day?" requires
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"์˜ค๋Š˜ ํ•˜๋ฃจ ์–ด๋• ๋‚˜์š”?"๋ผ๋Š” ์งˆ๋ฌธ์— '์˜ˆ' ๋˜๋Š” '์•„๋‹ˆ์š”'๋ผ๊ณ  ๋‹ตํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ์„ ํƒ๊ถŒ์ด ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:04
some words, some language, some information.
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๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ๋‹จ์–ด, ์–ธ์–ด, ๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์ •๋ณด๊ฐ€ ํ•„์š”ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:07
Right? So, you're going to get more than just
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์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ? ๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ, ๋‹น์‹ ์€
02:11
a one-word answer. So, for example, if you're
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๋‹จ์ง€ ํ•œ ๋‹จ์–ด๋กœ ๋œ ๋‹ต๋ณ€ ์ด์ƒ์˜ ๊ฒƒ์„ ์–ป๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ๋“ค์–ด , ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด
02:14
a parent and if your kids or your teenagers,
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๋ถ€๋ชจ์ด๊ณ  ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์˜ ์ž๋…€๋‚˜ ์‹ญ๋Œ€ ์ž๋…€๊ฐ€
02:18
you want them to speak with you more and they're
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„๊ณผ ๋” ๋งŽ์ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์›ํ•˜๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด
02:20
just giving you these short, one-word answers,
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์—๊ฒŒ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ์งง๊ณ  ํ•œ ๋‹จ์–ด๋กœ ๋Œ€๋‹ต๋งŒ ํ•œ๋‹ค๋ฉด
02:22
then maybe you're asking the closed question
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์€ ํ์‡„์ ์ธ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ํ•  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:26
instead of the open question. Maybe by changing
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๊ณต๊ฐœ ์งˆ๋ฌธ ๋Œ€์‹  ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ํ•˜์„ธ์š”. ์•„๋งˆ๋„
02:29
your words, you will be able to transform the
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๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๋ง์„ ๋ฐ”๊พธ๋ฉด ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ
02:32
answers they're giving you and the information
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์ฃผ๋Š” ๋Œ€๋‹ต ๊ณผ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋‹น์‹ 
02:35
they're sharing with you. Okay? And it's not
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๊ณผ ๊ณต์œ ํ•˜๋Š” ์ •๋ณด๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๊ฟ€ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ์ข‹์•„์š”? ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ด๋Š”
02:38
only true for parents and children, it's true
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๋ถ€๋ชจ ์™€ ์ž๋…€์—๊ฒŒ๋งŒ ํ•ด๋‹น๋˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ
02:40
for everyone.
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๋ชจ๋“  ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์—๊ฒŒ ํ•ด๋‹น๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:41
Okay, let's look at another example.
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์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋˜ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ์‚ดํŽด๋ณด๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:44
Was it a good meeting? You might ask your colleague,
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์ข‹์€ ๋งŒ๋‚จ์ด์—ˆ๋‚˜์š”? ๋™๋ฃŒ์—๊ฒŒ
02:48
"Was it a good meeting?" He or she might say,
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"์ข‹์€ ๋งŒ๋‚จ์ด์—ˆ๋‚˜์š”?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ฌผ์„ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ ๋˜๋Š” ๊ทธ๋…€๋Š”
02:51
"Yes", "No". Again, limited. On this side,
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"์˜ˆ", "์•„๋‹ˆ์˜ค"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹ค์‹œ ๋งํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ, ์ œํ•œ์ ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ด์ชฝ์—์„œ๋Š”
02:55
you could ask the person, "What did you think
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์ƒ๋Œ€๋ฐฉ์—๊ฒŒ "
02:59
of the meeting?" or "How was the meeting?" "How was the meeting?", "What did you think
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๊ทธ ๋ชจ์ž„์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์…จ๋‚˜์š”?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ฌผ์–ด๋ณผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋˜๋Š” "ํšŒ์˜๋Š” ์–ด๋• ๋‚˜์š”?" "ํšŒ์˜๋Š” ์–ด๋• ๋‚˜์š”?", "ํšŒ์˜์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์‹œ๋‚˜์š”
03:05
of the meeting?", "What did you think of the
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?", "ํšŒ์˜์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์‹œ๋‚˜์š”
03:07
conference?" Right? "What do you think of
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?" ์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ? "๊ทธ ์•„์ด๋””์–ด์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์„ธ์š”
03:10
that idea?" You could put anything there. Right? But this will open it up. The person
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?" ๊ฑฐ๊ธฐ์—๋Š” ๋ฌด์—‡์ด๋“  ๋„ฃ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ? ๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ ์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ์—ด๋ฆด ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์€
03:18
is going to share more.
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๋” ๋งŽ์€ ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊ณต์œ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:20
Next, you could say, ask someone, ask a student,
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๋‹ค์Œ์œผ๋กœ, ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์—๊ฒŒ, ํ•™์ƒ์—๊ฒŒ
03:24
"Did your exam go well?" Again, the person
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"์‹œํ—˜์€ ์ž˜ ๋ณด์…จ๋‚˜์š”?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ฌผ์–ด๋ณผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ด๋ฒˆ์—๋„ ๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์€
03:27
will answer with "Yes" or "No". Here, you could say, "How was your exam?" And maybe
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"์˜ˆ" ๋˜๋Š” "์•„๋‹ˆ์˜ค"๋กœ ๋Œ€๋‹ตํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์—์„œ "์‹œํ—˜์€ ์–ด๋• ๋‚˜์š”?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์–ด์ฉŒ๋ฉด
03:33
the person will explain a little bit more. "Well, you know, it was a little bit... It
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๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ์กฐ๊ธˆ ๋” ์„ค๋ช…์„ ํ•ด์ค„ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "๊ธ€์Ž„์š”, ์กฐ๊ธˆ ๊ทธ๋žฌ์–ด์š”...
03:38
was quite easy in the beginning, and then at the end, I, you know, was a... I ran out
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์ฒ˜์Œ์—๋Š” ๊ฝค ์‰ฌ์› ์ง€๋งŒ, ๋งˆ์ง€๋ง‰์—๋Š”...
03:42
of time, and so I had to rush a little bit, but overall it was good." Now, you've got
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์‹œ๊ฐ„์ด ๋ถ€์กฑํ•ด์„œ ์„œ๋‘˜๋Ÿฌ์•ผ ํ–ˆ์–ด์š”. ์ข€ ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ธด ํ•œ๋ฐ ์ „์ฒด์ ์œผ๋กœ๋Š” ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์•˜์–ด์š”." ์ด์ œ
03:48
some information. Right? The person has also
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๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์ •๋ณด๋ฅผ ์–ป์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ? ๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์€ ๋˜ํ•œ
03:50
been able to open up with... To you and share
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... ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ๋งˆ์Œ์„ ์—ด๊ณ 
03:52
their thoughts, their feelings. So, these are
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๊ทธ๋“ค์˜ ์ƒ๊ฐ๊ณผ ๊ฐ์ •์„ ๊ณต์œ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ์ด๊ฒƒ์€
03:56
the ways that you can ask the open questions
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03:59
with the "how" and the "what" and so on.
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"์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ", "๋ฌด์—‡" ๋“ฑ์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์—ฌ ๊ณต๊ฐœ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:02
Now, let's look in some more detail, a little
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์ด์ œ
04:04
more about each of these kinds of questions,
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์ด๋Ÿฌํ•œ ์ข…๋ฅ˜์˜ ์งˆ๋ฌธ ๊ฐ๊ฐ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ข€ ๋” ์ž์„ธํžˆ ์‚ดํŽด๋ณด๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ํ•ญ์ƒ ๊ฐœ๋ฐฉํ˜• ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„
04:08
because it's not that I'm saying you should always ask open questions. If you're trying
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ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๋œป์€ ์•„๋‹ˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ๋‹น์‹ ์ด
04:14
to learn more, if you're trying to build a relationship, if you want someone to share
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๋” ๋งŽ์€ ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ฐฐ์šฐ๋ ค๊ณ  ๋…ธ๋ ฅํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด, ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๊ตฌ์ถ•ํ•˜๋ ค๊ณ  ๋…ธ๋ ฅํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด, ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ๋‹น์‹ ๊ณผ ๊ณต์œ ํ•˜๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์›ํ•˜๊ณ ,
04:19
with you, and if you want to listen, and if
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๋“ฃ๊ณ  ์‹ถ๊ณ ,
04:22
you have time to listen, then you'll ask these.
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๋“ค์„ ์‹œ๊ฐ„์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด, ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋ฌผ์–ด๋ณผ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ธฐ๋ณธ ์ •๋ณด๋ฅผ
04:26
If you're looking for basic information, then
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์ฐพ๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด
04:28
these questions are useful. So, let's look
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์ด ์งˆ๋ฌธ์ด ์œ ์šฉํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋Ÿผ
04:31
at what this is. So, you ask the closed questions,
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์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ๋ฌด์—‡์ธ์ง€ ์‚ดํŽด๋ณด๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ํ์‡„ํ˜• ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ํ•˜๋ฉด
04:34
they produce basic information. Right? "Yes",
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๊ธฐ๋ณธ ์ •๋ณด๊ฐ€ ์ƒ์„ฑ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ? "์˜ˆ
04:37
"No". The open questions give you more detailed information.
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์•„๋‹ˆ์˜ค". ๊ณต๊ฐœ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์€ ๋” ์ž์„ธํ•œ ์ •๋ณด๋ฅผ ์ œ๊ณตํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:43
The closed questions give you short facts. "Where did you go?" "To the office", that's
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ํ์‡„ํ˜• ์งˆ๋ฌธ์€ ๊ฐ„๋‹จํ•œ ์‚ฌ์‹ค์„ ์•Œ๋ ค์ค๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "์–ด๋”” ๊ฐ”์—ˆ์–ด?" "์‚ฌ๋ฌด์‹ค๋กœ" ๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ๋‹ค์˜ˆ์š”
04:50
it. You know, instead of something more. And
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. ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ๊ฒƒ ๋Œ€์‹ ์—. ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ 
04:54
here, you'll get more meaningful responses.
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์—ฌ๊ธฐ์—์„œ ๋” ์˜๋ฏธ ์žˆ๋Š” ์‘๋‹ต์„ ์–ป์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:58
People will share more in their thoughts, their feelings, their opinions. All right?
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์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ์ž์‹ ์˜ ์ƒ๊ฐ, ๊ฐ์ •, ์˜๊ฒฌ์„ ๋” ๋งŽ์ด ๊ณต์œ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€?
05:02
The closed questions are... Give the listener
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๋‹ซํžŒ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์€ ... ๋“ฃ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์—๊ฒŒ
05:07
a forced choice. So, I'm saying, "Did you
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๊ฐ•์ œ ์„ ํƒ๊ถŒ์„ ์ค๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ €๋Š” "
05:12
have a good day?" So, I'm presuming that you should have a good day. All right? Or
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์˜ค๋Š˜ ์ž˜ ๋ณด๋‚ด์…จ๋‚˜์š”?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‹ˆ, ๋‚˜๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์ข‹์€ ํ•˜๋ฃจ๋ฅผ ๋ณด๋‚ด์•ผ ํ•œ๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€? ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ฉด
05:18
I'm presuming that your exam should go well.
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๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์‹œํ—˜์ด ์ž˜ ์ง„ํ–‰๋  ๊ฒƒ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ์ถ”์ธกํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:21
So, this is a kind of a forced choice. Or,
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์ผ์ข…์˜ ๊ฐ•์ œ ์„ ํƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋˜๋Š”
05:23
for example, in some professions, people use
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์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ๋“ค์–ด ์ผ๋ถ€ ์ง์—…์—์„œ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด
05:27
this strategy. People who try to collect money
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์ด ์ „๋žต์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:30
from those who owe money, collectors, they
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๋ˆ์„ ๋นš์ง„ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค, ์ถ”์‹ฌ์ž๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ๋ˆ์„ ๋ชจ์œผ๋ ค๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€
05:33
don't ask you, "When would you like to pay?"
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"์–ธ์ œ ๊ฐš์œผ์‹œ๊ฒ ์–ด์š”?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ฌป์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:36
They say, "Do you want to pay on the first
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"๋งค์›” 1์ผ์— ๊ฒฐ์ œํ•˜์‹œ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ,
05:39
of the month or the third of the month?" For
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์•„๋‹ˆ๋ฉด ๋งค์›” 3์ผ์— ๊ฒฐ์ œํ•˜์‹œ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?"๋ผ๊ณ  ํ•˜๋”๊ตฐ์š”.
05:42
example. Right? So, that's kind of like a
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์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ๋“ค์–ด. ์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ? ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ผ์ข…์˜
05:44
forced choice. So, there are in some situations
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๊ฐ•์ œ ์„ ํƒ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์–ด๋–ค ์ƒํ™ฉ์—์„œ๋Š”
05:48
people are looking for that. But this one gives you that forced choice, but the open
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์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ฐพ๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ๊ฐ•์š”๋œ ์„ ํƒ์„ ์ œ๊ณตํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์—ด๋ฆฐ
05:55
questions open up and expand. People share
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์งˆ๋ฌธ์ด ์—ด๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ํ™•์žฅ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€
05:57
feelings, people share opinions, people share
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๊ฐ์ •์„ ๊ณต์œ ํ•˜๊ณ , ์˜๊ฒฌ์„ ๊ณต์œ ํ•˜๊ณ ,
06:01
their experiences. All right? So, each one,
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๊ฒฝํ—˜์„ ๊ณต์œ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€? ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ
06:03
as I said, has its features, and its benefits,
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์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋งํ–ˆ๋“ฏ์ด ๊ฐ๊ฐ์˜ ๊ฒƒ์—๋Š” ํŠน์ง•์ด ์žˆ๊ณ  ์žฅ์ ์ด
06:07
and its pros and cons.
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์žˆ์œผ๋ฉฐ ์žฅ๋‹จ์ ์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:09
In the closed questions, who has the control?
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ํ์‡„ํ˜• ์งˆ๋ฌธ์—์„œ๋Š” ๋ˆ„๊ฐ€ ํ†ต์ œ๊ถŒ์„ ๊ฐ–๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‚˜์š”?
06:13
The control is the person who's asking. The
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ํ†ต์ œ์ž๋Š” ์š”์ฒญํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ๊ตฌ์„ฑํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์—
06:17
control is in the hands of the person who's
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ํ†ต์ œ๊ถŒ์€ ์งˆ๋ฌธํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์˜ ์†์— ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
06:19
asking because they are framing the question.
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.
06:22
Right? "Did you have a good day?" I'm asking
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์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ? "์˜ค๋Š˜ ํ•˜๋ฃจ ์–ด ๋•Ÿ์–ด?"
06:25
you that you should have a good day. I'm telling
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์ข‹์€ ํ•˜๋ฃจ ๋ณด๋‚ด์‹œ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๋ผ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‚˜๋Š”
06:27
you, and I'm asking you yes or no. Here, it's
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๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์œผ๋ฉฐ, ์˜ˆ ๋˜๋Š” ์•„๋‹ˆ์˜ค๋ฅผ ๋ฌป๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์—ฌ๊ธฐ๋Š” ๊ทธ๋ ‡์ง€
06:32
not that way. The control shifts to the person
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์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์งˆ๋ฌธ์— ๋‹ตํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์—๊ฒŒ ํ†ต์ œ๊ถŒ์ด ๋„˜์–ด๊ฐ‘๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
06:36
who's answering the question. Because if I
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. ์™œ๋ƒํ•˜๋ฉด ๋‚ด๊ฐ€
06:38
just ask you, "How was your day?" That's it.
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" ์˜ค๋Š˜ ํ•˜๋ฃจ๋Š” ์–ด๋• ๋‚˜์š”?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ฌป๋Š”๋‹ค๋ฉด ๋ง์ด์ฃ . ๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ๋‹ค์•ผ.
06:40
I've said this much, and you're probably going
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๋‚˜๋Š” ์ด๋งŒํผ ๋งํ–ˆ๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ๋„
06:43
to say this much. So, it's going to open up.
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์ด๋งŒํผ ๋งํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ด๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ, ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ์—ด๋ฆด ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์‘๋‹ตํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด
06:46
The control is more the person who's answering.
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๋” ๋งŽ์€ ํ†ต์ œ๊ถŒ์„ ๊ฐ€์ง‘๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
06:49
Okay? They can decide if they want to give
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์ข‹์•„์š”? ๊ทธ๋“ค์€
06:51
you a short answer, a little bit longer, or a very long answer. Got it?
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๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ์งง์€ ๋Œ€๋‹ต์„ ์ค„ ๊ฒƒ์ธ์ง€, ์กฐ๊ธˆ ๋” ๊ธด ๋Œ€๋‹ต์„ ์ค„ ๊ฒƒ์ธ์ง€, ์•„์ฃผ ๊ธด ๋Œ€๋‹ต์„ ์ค„ ๊ฒƒ์ธ์ง€ ๊ฒฐ์ •ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์•Œ์•˜์–ด์š”?
06:57
Next. So, again, as I've said, this one limits
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๋‹ค์Œ. ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ, ๋‹ค์‹œ ๋ง์”€๋“œ๋ฆฌ์ง€๋งŒ, ์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ์ œํ•œํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
07:00
the conversation. And there may be times when
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. ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ 
07:03
you need to or want to limit the conversation.
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๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ์ œํ•œํ•ด์•ผ ํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์ œํ•œํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ๊ฒฝ์šฐ๋„ ์žˆ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:07
The open questions expand the conversation.
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์—ด๋ฆฐ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์€ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ํ™•์žฅํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:11
So, if you'd like people to say more, share more, definitely use more open questions.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋ฏ€๋กœ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ๋” ๋งŽ์ด ๋งํ•˜๊ณ , ๋” ๋งŽ์ด ๊ณต์œ ํ•˜๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์›ํ•œ๋‹ค๋ฉด, ํ™•์‹คํžˆ ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ๊ฐœ๋ฐฉํ˜• ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
07:18
Why? Also because when people tell you more and
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์™œ? ๋˜ํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ์ž์‹ ์˜ ์ƒ๊ฐ, ๊ฐ์ •, ๊ฒฝํ—˜์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋” ๋งŽ์ด ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ๋” ๋งŽ์ด
07:22
share more and say more about their thoughts
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๊ณต์œ ํ•˜๊ณ  ๋” ๋งŽ์ด ๋งํ•  ๋•Œ
07:26
and feelings and experiences, you're giving
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,
07:28
them a chance to express themselves, to talk
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๊ทธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ์ž์‹ ์„ ํ‘œํ˜„ํ•˜๊ณ 
07:31
about themselves. You're giving them someone
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์ž์‹ ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•  ๊ธฐํšŒ๋ฅผ ์ฃผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ
07:35
who cares. You're giving them a person who
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๊ด€์‹ฌ์„ ๊ฐ–๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์„ ์ œ๊ณตํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ
07:38
is ready, and willing, and able to listen to
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์ค€๋น„๊ฐ€ ๋˜์–ด ์žˆ๊ณ , ๊ธฐ๊บผ์ด ๊ทธ๋“ค์˜ ๋ง์„ ๋“ค์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์„ ์ฃผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
07:42
them. And everybody likes that. Okay? Everyone
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. ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋ชจ๋‘๊ฐ€ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ข‹์•„ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ข‹์•„์š”? ๋ชจ๋“  ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์€
07:46
wishes that someone would really listen to them and understand them. So, if you want
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ์ž์‹ ์˜ ๋ง์„ ์ง„์‹ฌ์œผ๋กœ ๋“ฃ๊ณ  ์ดํ•ดํ•ด ์ฃผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๋ž๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋ฏ€๋กœ ๋งŒ์•ฝ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด
07:50
to be this person, and you want to improve your
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์ด๋Ÿฐ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ๋˜๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์›ํ•˜๊ณ ,
07:52
relationships personally, socially, professionally,
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๊ฐœ์ธ์ ์œผ๋กœ, ์‚ฌํšŒ์ ์œผ๋กœ, ์ง์—…์ ์œผ๋กœ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๊ฐœ์„ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ๊ณ ,
07:56
listen to others, the way to listen to others is by asking more open questions.
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์˜ ๋ง์„ ๋“ฃ๊ณ  ์‹ถ๋‹ค๋ฉด, ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์˜ ๋ง์„ ๋“ฃ๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์€ ๋” ๊ฐœ๋ฐฉ์ ์ธ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:02
Next. Here, of course, it's all communication,
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๋‹ค์Œ. ๋ฌผ๋ก  ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ๋Š” ๋ชจ๋‘ ์˜์‚ฌ์†Œํ†ต์ด์ง€๋งŒ
08:06
but here the focus is more on communication.
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์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ๋Š” ์˜์‚ฌ ์†Œํ†ต์— ๋” ์ค‘์ ์„ ๋‘ก๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:10
Okay? Did you have a good day? Yeah? Okay, good. Let's have dinner. Okay? You move on.
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์ข‹์•„์š”? ์˜ค๋Š˜ ํ•˜๋ฃจ ์–ด ๋•Ÿ์–ด? ์‘? ์•Œ์•˜์–ด, ์•Œ์•˜์–ด. ์ €๋… ๋จน์ž. ์ข‹์•„์š”? ๊ณ„์† ์ง„ํ–‰ํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
08:16
And here, it's more about connection. It's more
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ๋Š” ์—ฐ๊ฒฐ์— ๊ด€ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€
08:19
than communication. You're actually building
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์˜์‚ฌ์†Œํ†ต ๊ทธ ์ด์ƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ
08:22
that connection because you're building the relationship. How was your day, sweetheart?
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๊ตฌ์ถ•ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ๊ทธ ์—ฐ๊ฒฐ์„ ๊ตฌ์ถ•ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ์˜ค๋Š˜ ํ•˜๋ฃจ ์–ด๋• ์–ด?
08:27
Whether you're talking to your partner, or you're talking to your child, or anyone...
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ํŒŒํŠธ๋„ˆ์™€ ๋Œ€ํ™”ํ•˜๋“ ์ง€, ์ž๋…€์™€ ๋Œ€ํ™”ํ•˜๋“ ์ง€, ๋ˆ„๊ตฌ์—๊ฒŒ๋“ ...
08:30
Or your grandmother. Okay? And so you could
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์•„๋‹ˆ๋ฉด ํ• ๋จธ๋‹ˆ์™€๋„ ๋ง์ด์ฃ . ์ข‹์•„์š”? ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ
08:33
say you're creating a connection with people.
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์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๊ณผ์˜ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๋งŒ๋“ค๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:36
All right? So, again, these are useful...
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๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€? ๋‹ค์‹œ ํ•œ ๋ฒˆ ๋ง์”€๋“œ๋ฆฌ์ง€๋งŒ, ์ด๊ฒƒ๋“ค์€ ์œ ์šฉํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค... ๋‹ค์–‘ํ•œ ์ง์—…์— ์ข…์‚ฌํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€
08:39
Different types of questions are used by people
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๋‹ค์–‘ํ•œ ์œ ํ˜•์˜ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
08:42
in different professions. Salespeople usually
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. ์˜์—…์‚ฌ์›์€ ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์œผ๋กœ
08:45
want to make the deal fast. Right? So they
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๊ฑฐ๋ž˜๋ฅผ ๋นจ๋ฆฌ ์„ฑ์‚ฌ์‹œํ‚ค๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ? ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ๊ฐ€๊นŒ์šด ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„
08:47
might ask more of the close questions. Also,
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๋” ๋งŽ์ด ํ•  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ๋˜ํ•œ
08:51
busy people... Here, open questions are used
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๋ฐ”์œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค... ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์—์„œ๋Š” ํŠน์ • ์ง์—…์—์„œ ๊ณต๊ฐœ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
08:55
by certain professions. For example, journalists
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. ์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ๋“ค์–ด,
08:58
who want to learn more and gather more information,
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๋” ๋งŽ์€ ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ฐฐ์šฐ๊ณ  ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ์ •๋ณด๋ฅผ ์ˆ˜์ง‘ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ์–ธ๋ก ์ธ
09:01
and also counsellors whose job it is to listen.
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๊ณผ ๊ฒฝ์ฒญ์„ ์ง์—…์œผ๋กœ ํ•˜๋Š” ์ƒ๋‹ด์‚ฌ๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:05
So people who tend to listen ask more open
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ๋“ฃ๋Š” ๊ฒฝํ–ฅ์ด ์žˆ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ๊ฐœ๋ฐฉํ˜•
09:09
questions, and people who tend to speak themselves ask more closed questions. Okay?
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์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ๋” ๋งŽ์ด ํ•˜๊ณ , ์Šค์Šค๋กœ ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒฝํ–ฅ์ด ์žˆ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ํ์‡„ํ˜• ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ๋” ๋งŽ์ด ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ข‹์•„์š”?
09:16
Now let's look at several examples of how to
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์ด์ œ
09:19
turn these closed questions into open questions.
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์ด๋Ÿฌํ•œ ๋‹ซํžŒ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ์—ด๋ฆฐ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์œผ๋กœ ๋ฐ”๊พธ๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๋ช‡ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ์‚ดํŽด๋ณด๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:23
So, what we can see on the board are all closed
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์น ํŒ์—์„œ ๋ณผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ชจ๋‘ ๋‹ซํžŒ
09:26
questions. What we'll do together is to change
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์งˆ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ํ•  ์ผ์€
09:30
each of them into an open question. All right?
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ๋“ค ๊ฐ๊ฐ์„ ์—ด๋ฆฐ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์œผ๋กœ ๋ฐ”๊พธ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€?
09:33
So, here we go. Something that people might say
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์ž, ์—ฌ๊ธฐ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด
09:37
in a social context. Did you have a good holiday?
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์‚ฌํšŒ์  ๋งฅ๋ฝ์—์„œ ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ. ํœด์ผ ์ž˜ ๋ณด๋‚ด์…จ๋‚˜์š”?
09:41
Nothing wrong with that, but how could we improve
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์ž˜๋ชป๋œ ์ ์€ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๊ฐœ์„ 
09:45
it and make it into an open question? These are
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ํ•˜๊ณ  ๊ณต๊ฐœ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์œผ๋กœ ๋งŒ๋“ค ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„๊นŒ์š”?
09:48
the key words you could use, "how" or "what".
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"์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ" ๋˜๋Š” "๋ฌด์—‡์„" ๋“ฑ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ํ•ต์‹ฌ ๋‹จ์–ด์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:51
So instead of saying, "Did you have a good holiday?" you could say,
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‹ˆ โ€œ ํœด๊ฐ€ ์ž˜ ๋ณด๋‚ด์…จ๋‚˜์š”?โ€๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๋ณด๋‹ค
09:57
"How was your holiday?" Good. In a professional
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"ํœด๊ฐ€๋Š” ์–ด๋• ๋‚˜์š”?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์–ด์š”. ์ข‹์€. ์ „๋ฌธ์ ์ธ
10:01
context, instead of just saying, "Was it a good
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๋งฅ๋ฝ์—์„œ ๋‹จ์ˆœํžˆ โ€œ์ข‹์€
10:05
conference?" you could ask, "What did you think
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์ปจํผ๋Ÿฐ์Šค์˜€๋‚˜์š”?โ€๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๊ธฐ๋ณด๋‹ค๋Š”, "
10:10
of the conference?" Or, "How is always good?
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ํšŒ์˜์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์‹œ๋‚˜์š”?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ฌผ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋˜๋Š” "ํ•ญ์ƒ ์ž˜ ์ง€๋‚ด์‹œ๋‚˜์š”?
10:14
How was the conference?" Again, you'll get more sharing, more information. Okay?
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์ปจํผ๋Ÿฐ์Šค๋Š” ์–ด๋• ๋‚˜์š”?" ๋‹ค์‹œ ํ•œ๋ฒˆ ๋ง์”€๋“œ๋ฆฌ์ง€๋งŒ, ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์€ ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ๊ณต์œ ์™€ ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ์ •๋ณด๋ฅผ ์–ป๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ข‹์•„์š”?
10:21
When you're asking about someone's health, of
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์˜ ๊ฑด๊ฐ•์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋ฌผ์„ ๋•Œ, ๋ฌผ๋ก 
10:23
course you could ask, "Are you feeling better
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"์˜ค๋Š˜ ๊ธฐ๋ถ„์ด ๋‚˜์•„์กŒ๋‚˜์š”
10:26
today?" Nothing wrong with that, but how could we
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?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ฌผ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ์ž˜๋ชป๋œ ๊ฒƒ์€ ์•„๋‹ˆ์ง€๋งŒ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ
10:31
ask more? We could say, "How are you feeling today?"
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๋” ๋ฌผ์–ด๋ณผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ? โ€œ์˜ค๋Š˜ ๊ธฐ๋ถ„์ด ์–ด๋•Œ์š”?โ€๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:36
Okay? Good. In a personal context, you could
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์ข‹์•„์š”? ์ข‹์€. ๊ฐœ์ธ์ ์ธ ์ƒํ™ฉ์—์„œ๋Š”
10:43
ask somebody, "Do you want to watch a movie?"
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์—๊ฒŒ " ์˜ํ™” ๋ณผ๋ž˜?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ฌผ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:51
Okay? That way you open it up. Maybe the person
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์ข‹์•„์š”? ๊ทธ๋ž˜์•ผ ์—ด์–ด์ค๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ์–ด์ฉŒ๋ฉด ๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์€ ์˜ํ™”๋ฅผ
10:54
doesn't want to watch a movie. Maybe they're
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๋ณด๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์„ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ์–ด์ฉŒ๋ฉด ๊ทธ๋“ค์€
10:56
going to think of an even better idea than you
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๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์ƒ๊ฐํ–ˆ๋˜ ๊ฒƒ๋ณด๋‹ค ํ›จ์”ฌ ๋” ์ข‹์€ ์•„์ด๋””์–ด๋ฅผ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด๋‚ผ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
10:59
thought of. So to open up that possibility,
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. ๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋ฏ€๋กœ ๊ทธ ๊ฐ€๋Šฅ์„ฑ์„ ์—ด์–ด๋ณด๋ ค๋ฉด
11:02
ask the more open question. Okay? Next, in
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์ข€ ๋” ๊ฐœ๋ฐฉ์ ์ธ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค. ์ข‹์•„์š”? ๋‹ค์Œ์œผ๋กœ,
11:06
an... Again, in a kind of a social situation,
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... ๋˜ ๋‹ค์‹œ ์ผ์ข…์˜ ์‚ฌํšŒ์  ์ƒํ™ฉ์—์„œ
11:11
you might ask somebody, "Are you happy with your
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์—๊ฒŒ "์ƒˆ ํœด๋Œ€ํฐ์— ๋งŒ์กฑํ•˜์‹œ๋‚˜์š”
11:14
new phone?" Or, "How do you like your new phone?"
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? "๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ฌผ์„ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋˜๋Š” " ์ƒˆ ํœด๋Œ€ํฐ์ด ๋งˆ์Œ์— ๋“œ์‹œ๋‚˜์š”?"
11:18
Or, "How's your new phone?" Or, "What do you think
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๋˜๋Š” "์ƒˆ ํœด๋Œ€์ „ํ™”๋Š” ์ž˜ ์ง€๋‚ด์„ธ์š”?" ๋˜๋Š” "
11:23
of your new phone?" Okay? Any of those. Again,
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์ƒˆ ํœด๋Œ€์ „ํ™”์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์‹œ๋‚˜์š”?" ์ข‹์•„์š”? ๊ทธ ์ค‘ ํ•˜๋‚˜. ๋‹ค์‹œ ๋งํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ,
11:27
the "how" and the "what" questions will open
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"์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ"์™€ "๋ฌด์—‡"์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์ด ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ์—ด์–ด์ค„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
11:30
up the dialogue. In an academic situation,
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. ํ•™๋ฌธ์ ์ธ ์ƒํ™ฉ์—์„œ๋Š”
11:33
you could ask someone, "Did you enjoy the lecture? Did you enjoy the class?" Or,
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์—๊ฒŒ " ๊ฐ•์˜๊ฐ€ ์ฆ๊ฑฐ์› ๋‚˜์š”? ์ˆ˜์—…์ด ์ฆ๊ฑฐ์› ๋‚˜์š”? "๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ฌผ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋˜๋Š”
11:40
"How was your class?" That's it, you're getting
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"์ˆ˜์—…์€ ์–ด๋• ๋‚˜์š”?" ๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ๋‹ค์•ผ, ๋‹น์‹ ์€
11:43
it now. See, it's coming more naturally,
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์ง€๊ธˆ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ์–ป๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋ณด์„ธ์š”, ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋” ์ž์—ฐ์Šค๋Ÿฝ๊ฒŒ ๋‹ค๊ฐ€์˜ค๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:46
which is what we want. Okay?
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์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ๋ฐ”๋กœ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ข‹์•„์š”?
11:48
In a parenting situation, suppose there are
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์–‘์œก ์ƒํ™ฉ์—์„œ
11:52
two kids who got into a fight. You could say,
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๋‘ ์•„์ด๊ฐ€ ์‹ธ์›€์„ ํ–ˆ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๊ฐ€์ •ํ•ด ๋ณด๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:56
"Who started the fight?" And of course, everybody
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"๋ˆ„๊ฐ€ ์‹ธ์›€์„ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ–ˆ๋‚˜์š”?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋ฌผ๋ก  ๋ชจ๋“  ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€
11:58
would say, "He did, she did, he did." Okay?
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"๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ๊ทธ๋žฌ์–ด, ๊ทธ๋…€๊ฐ€ ๊ทธ๋žฌ์–ด, ๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ๊ทธ๋žฌ์–ด"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ๊ฒ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ข‹์•„์š”?
12:01
Instead of that, you could say, "What happened?
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๊ทธ ๋Œ€์‹ ์— "๋ฌด์Šจ ์ผ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚œ ๊ฑฐ์•ผ?
12:06
What happened, kids?" All right? Give each one
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๋ฌด์Šจ ์ผ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚œ ๊ฑฐ์•ผ, ์–˜๋“ค์•„?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€? ์†๊ฐ€๋ฝ์งˆ๋งŒ ํ•˜๊ธฐ
12:10
a chance to kind of explain and talk instead
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๋ณด๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฐ์ž์—๊ฒŒ ์„ค๋ช…ํ•˜๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ธฐํšŒ๋ฅผ ์ฃผ์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค
12:13
of just pointing a finger. All right? And then,
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. ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€? ๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‹ค๊ฐ€
12:16
even if you're discussing global topics and conversations, okay, you could say,
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๊ธ€๋กœ๋ฒŒํ•œ ์ฃผ์ œ ์™€ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚˜๋ˆ„๋”๋ผ๋„
12:21
"Do you think we can achieve peace?" That's
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"์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ‰ํ™”๋ฅผ ์ด๋ฃฐ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์‹œ๋‚˜์š”?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€
12:25
a closed question. How could we reframe that
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๋‹ซํžŒ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ด ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์žฌ๊ตฌ์„ฑํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„๊นŒ์š”
12:28
important question? "How can we achieve
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? "์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ํ‰ํ™”๋ฅผ ์ด๋ฃฐ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‚˜์š”
12:33
peace?" Not... We don't want the "no" question,
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?" ์•„๋‹ˆ์š”... ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ๋Š” "์•„๋‹ˆ์˜ค"๋ผ๋Š” ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ์›ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
12:38
here. We probably want a "yes" question, but we
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. ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์•„๋งˆ๋„ "์˜ˆ"๋ผ๋Š” ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ์›ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ
12:41
want more information. How can we achieve peace?
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๋” ๋งŽ์€ ์ •๋ณด๋ฅผ ์›ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ํ‰ํ™”๋ฅผ ์ด๋ฃฐ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ? ํ‰ํ™”๋ฅผ ์ด๋ฃจ๊ธฐ
12:44
What can we do to achieve peace? This will...
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์œ„ํ•ด ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋ฌด์—‡์„ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‚˜์š” ? ์ด๊ฒƒ์€...
12:47
These questions will also generate more thoughts,
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์ด๋Ÿฌํ•œ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์€ ๋˜ํ•œ ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ์ƒ๊ฐ,
12:50
more ideas, more possibilities. All right? So,
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๋” ๋งŽ์€ ์•„์ด๋””์–ด, ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ๊ฐ€๋Šฅ์„ฑ์„ ์ƒ์„ฑํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€? ๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ
12:53
if you'd like to open up your relationships,
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๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ์—ด๊ณ , ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๊ตฌ์ถ•ํ•˜๊ณ ,
12:56
build them, make them stronger, create connections
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๋”์šฑ ๊ฐ•ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋งŒ๋“ค๊ณ ,
12:59
with people, whether it's at home, whether it's
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์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๊ณผ์˜ ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๋งŒ๋“ค๊ณ  ์‹ถ๋‹ค๋ฉด ์ง‘์—์„œ๋“ ,
13:02
at work, whether it's in your social circles,
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์ง์žฅ์—์„œ๋“ , ์†Œ์…œ ์„œํด์—์„œ๋“ ,
13:05
anywhere, try using more open questions.
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์–ด๋””์—์„œ๋“  ๋” ๊ฐœ๋ฐฉ์ ์ธ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•ด ๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
13:08
Now, in order to help you with this, I've
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์ด์ œ ์ด ๋ฌธ์ œ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋„์›€์„ ๋“œ๋ฆฌ๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ์ €๋Š” ์ด ์ฃผ์ œ์— ๊ด€ํ•ด
13:10
written a long, detailed, very helpful, I believe
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๊ธธ๊ณ  ์ž์„ธํ•˜๋ฉฐ ๋งค์šฐ ๋„์›€์ด ๋˜๋Š” ์ž๋ฃŒ๋ฅผ ์ž‘์„ฑํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
13:13
I've been told, resource on this subject. I give you examples of sample conversations,
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. ์ €๋Š” ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์—๊ฒŒ
13:21
lots of different areas, like social areas,
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์‚ฌํšŒ์  ์˜์—ญ,
13:25
political areas, professional areas, technical
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์ •์น˜์  ์˜์—ญ, ์ง์—…์  ์˜์—ญ, ๊ธฐ์ˆ ์ ์ธ
13:29
questions, and we take them from the closed questions, make them into open questions,
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์งˆ๋ฌธ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์€ ๋‹ค์–‘ํ•œ ์˜์—ญ์˜ ์ƒ˜ํ”Œ ๋Œ€ํ™”์˜ ์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ์ œ๊ณตํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹ซํžŒ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์—์„œ ์ด๋ฅผ ๊ฐ€์ ธ์™€ ๊ณต๊ฐœ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์œผ๋กœ ๋งŒ๋“ค์–ด์„œ
13:35
just so that you have lots of examples to refer to
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๋งŽ์€ ์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ์ œ๊ณตํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:38
when you're trying to really master this subject,
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์ด ์ฃผ์ œ๋ฅผ ์ •๋ง ๋งˆ์Šคํ„ฐํ•˜๋ ค๊ณ  ํ•  ๋•Œ ์ฐธ๊ณ ํ•˜์„ธ์š”. ๋๊นŒ์ง€ ์ˆ˜๊ณ ํ•ด์„œ ์‹œ์ฒญํ•ด์ฃผ์…”์„œ
13:41
which I really appreciate that you've taken
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์ •๋ง ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•˜๊ณ ,
13:43
the trouble to watch all the way to the end,
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13:45
and I really hope that it helps you to have better
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๋” ๋‚˜์€ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚˜๋ˆ„๋Š” ๋ฐ ๋„์›€์ด ๋˜๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์ง„์‹ฌ์œผ๋กœ ๋ฐ”๋ž๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
13:48
conversations. I believe it will. All right?
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. ๋‚˜๋Š” ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ฏฟ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€?
13:51
Take care for now. Thanks very much for watching. Bye for now.
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์ง€๊ธˆ์€ ์กฐ์‹ฌํ•˜์„ธ์š”. ์‹œ์ฒญํ•ด ์ฃผ์…”์„œ ๋Œ€๋‹จํžˆ ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ง€๊ธˆ์€ ์•ˆ๋…•.
์ด ์›น์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ ์ •๋ณด

์ด ์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ๋Š” ์˜์–ด ํ•™์Šต์— ์œ ์šฉํ•œ YouTube ๋™์˜์ƒ์„ ์†Œ๊ฐœํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ „ ์„ธ๊ณ„ ์ตœ๊ณ ์˜ ์„ ์ƒ๋‹˜๋“ค์ด ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์น˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ˆ˜์—…์„ ๋ณด๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ฐ ๋™์˜์ƒ ํŽ˜์ด์ง€์— ํ‘œ์‹œ๋˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ” ํด๋ฆญํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ณณ์—์„œ ๋™์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋น„๋””์˜ค ์žฌ์ƒ์— ๋งž์ถฐ ์ž๋ง‰์ด ์Šคํฌ๋กค๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜๊ฒฌ์ด๋‚˜ ์š”์ฒญ์ด ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒฝ์šฐ ์ด ๋ฌธ์˜ ์–‘์‹์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์—ฌ ๋ฌธ์˜ํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.

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