To Put It Mildly & Other Conversational Expressions in American English

Hi everyone. I'm Jennifer from English with  Jennifer. Do you always say exactly what you're  

thinking? I doubt you do. As we grow up, we learn  to restrain ourselves from saying the first thing  

that enters our head. That's because sometimes our  comments would be inappropriate or unappreciated.  

Or we may hold back because we know it's not the  time or place to go into detail about something.  

For these kinds of situations, there  are a number of expressions we can use.  

Let me help you learn and practice expressions  for showing restraint in conversation.

Sometimes we don't want to say the truth  straight out. We soften it for whatever  

reason. Let's say you have a friend  who reacts like this to a suggestion.  

Don't tell me what to do. This is your friend,  not mine. I don't know the guy, so I say,  

"I take it he's not quite open to advice."  You say, "That's putting it mildly."  

In other words, my assessment or statement  is true, but not accurate. The situation is  

actually worse. We could use stronger,  harsher words, but we choose not to.  

Don't tell me what to do. The truth is the  guy is probably being hardheaded, stubborn,  

and unreasonable. Maybe he's too emotional,  but to avoid that harsh criticism, I say,  

"Well, to put it mildly, he seems  like he's not quite open to advice."

We can use "to put it mildly"  in our own statements,  

or we can react to someone else's statement  by saying, "That's putting it mildly."  

You come to us with no evidence, no record, no  artifacts. Only a story that, to put it mildly,  

strains credibility. I know we've never  enjoyed a particularly warm relationship.  

That's putting it mildly. I hate your guts. So,  it's difficult. "Difficult" is putting it mildly.  

Let me show you a woman who's sharing her  feelings with someone. I don't know what to do.

I think you understand what she's feeling,  

but you don't want to judge her  too harshly, so what could you say?

"Upset" is the softest, weakest of the three.  

Saying "she's slightly upset" is putting  it mildly. I don't know what to do.

In another situation, maybe you don't want  to reveal just how bad things are. Uh,  

there's been a very, very slight delay.  

What could you say so that the bride  wouldn't panic? Well, to put it mildly...

The groom needs more time to get ready.  

The reality? Maybe the groom is having  second thoughts and doesn't want to go  

through with the wedding, but do you really  want to tell her that directly? Bluntly?

The opposite of "to put it mildly" is "to put  it bluntly." Bluntness can hurt. It's direct  

and the words are sharp. The bride  would break down in tears if you said,  

"To put it bluntly, he's not  sure if he wants to marry you."

A similar expression to "to put it mildly"  is "let's just say." What can you conclude  

from this scene? Let's just say Bobby  had some strong words for all of you.

B. Right? The woman isn't going to repeat  Bobby's offensive words, but she wants to  

convey that Bobby was angry and he used harsh  words. Let's just say bobby had some strong  

words for all of you. How might you play down  or understate the man's feelings in this scene?

Moving to Florida? That's wonderful. I'm so happy...for you. I'm so happy for you!

C. Right? A makes no sense. B is true  because he's overjoyed he's relieved,  

but that's not how this expression works.  We need to choose the weaker option.

Moving to Florida? That's wonderful. I'm so happy...for you. I'm so happy for you!

We're playing it down, and we're choosing  not to emphasize his extreme joy.  

Let's just say he's happy  that she's moving to Florida.

Can you think of conversations that you don't  want to have or that you're tired of having?  

In the U.S., the very mention of politics  these days can lead to heated discussions,  

mostly unpleasant ones, so if you're not in the  mood to hear about gun laws, taxes, elections,  

and political parties, you can say, "Don't  get me started" or Don't even get me started."

The unspoken idea is that if you get the  speaker started, you'll hear too much  

or you'll hear things that you really don't want  to hear. Mauricio, I got to tell you you got  

issues. All right. Don't even get me started. So,  Mauricio knows that he has problems to work out,  

but he doesn't want to talk about them at the  moment because it's too hard, too stressful.  

We can also use this expression if someone enjoys  talking about something, either good or bad.  

They can talk at length, so it's a  warning that if you get them started,  

you won't be able to stop them.  Well, actually our car broke down.  

Would you mind if I used your phone? Oh,  don't get me started on car problems.  

Note how we can use the preposition "on" with  this expression. Don't get him started on car  

problems because he won't stop. Don't get him  started on that or you won't hear the end of it.

Don't get me started on car problems.

What's something you might talk too much about?  Friends and family might warn others about you  

and say, "Don't get him started on that" or  "Don't even get her started on that issue."  

In my case, don't even get me started on  home renovations. I can complain for a  

full hour or more. Our final expression is  "not to mention." It's a little different.  

We can use it to add another point, and  it strengthens what was already said.  

We can use "not to mention" in a  positive or negative statement.

It's huge. Oh, it's beautiful. Not  to mention valuable. Real estate like  

this is worth a fortune! You mustn't  always think about money, Vincent.  

What are they talking about and  what's the final point made?

They're generally impressed with the property, and  the one man, Danny Devito wants to mention that  

this property is worth a lot of money. So, "not to  mention" actually means, I'd like to mention this  

because it's important. In fact, I could do more  than just mention this briefly." So, there could  

be some restraint shown. I'm adding another point  but not necessarily going into detail about it.  

Think about someone you like very much or  someone that you're fond of and tell me about  

their finer qualities. For example, my 94-year  old-cousin Gina is kind, generous, and funny,  

not to mention the fact that she's healthier than  many other Americans who are younger than she is.

The expressions we learned are: to put  it mildly/that's putting it mildly,  

let's just say, don't get me  started/don't even get me started,

not to mention.

I hope you found this lesson useful. Please  like and share the video with others.  

As always, thanks for watching and happy studies!  I'd like to say a special thank you to two  

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