Emojis - 😀Smiley Face 🍆Eggplant? | part 2 @EnglishAddict - Episode 219 - CHAT - Sun 23rd Oct 2022

Welcome back, everyone.

I think

I am now assuming we are back.

So welcome back, everyone.

We are back.

I think I've fixed the problem.

Oh, my. I.

This.

You have no idea.

You will never know what I've just been for

every connexion, every wire,

every device disconnected and then reconnected.

I, I turned everything off, including the power supply to the house.

I ran outside.

I screamed as loudly as I could.

And I think we are back.

Yes, we are.

We are.

Let's just hope that

there we are on the screen that everybody else has figured out that there's a new stream started.

Well, there will be a notification. Good.

The numbers are going up.

So I'm guessing people are getting the hang of it.

Of the hang of it, yes. Apologies.

We had some Steve said Steve said to me, can you explain what's happening?

And I said, no, there's no way I can explain what's happening.

There is no way I can explain all of this to you.

So what I had to do, disconnect everything, turn everything off, reset the Internet,

and then I had to restart everything from scratch, including this live stream,

which now has messed everything up.

So. So goodness knows.

That's all I can say.

Goodness knows.

But thank you all for staying on.

Those of you that did you know, I lovely people.

Oh. Chatting away to each other.

I I've never done the live chat before, so I was, I wasn't quite getting it right.

Most of the comments were from me with your big giant fat fingers.

I kept pressing the wrong buttons and some of the words might have looked a bit strange,

but I got the hang of it in the end.

So when the typing was terrible.

It was Steve.

When the typing is lovely and wonderful, it's me.

And v test was telling you wonderful jokes.

I don't think v test is back yet. Yes he is.

So thank you for telling jokes to keep people entertained

while we were in the background pulling wires around.

Yeah. I think I've just explained all of I.

Can we not relive it?

Anyway, we're back and actually we just carry on sitting inside.

I might look calm on the outside, but inside

every organ in my body is now back to front.

My heart is on the wrong side.

My pancreas is where my kneecap and my right leg should be.

And I can't even begin to tell you where my spleen has gone.

Let's just say it is hanging out of my shorts at the moment.

We had a nice time waiting, says, Oh good, I'm glad you did that.

Somebody did.

And I noticed that because I was going to comment it on Palmira because I know

Bellucci is back, Claudia is back from holiday, but I think Palmira has been away as well.

So she's

back as well because this is her comment from Luis earlier about that.

Luis is back because he's been away, isn't he?

Yes. Well, they all returned last week.

Yeah.

So I think everyone you've all been on lovely holidays and we haven't and we haven't.

We need Rome after today's livestream.

I need a holiday anyway.

I mean, this is now me. I don't know.

I might have to rig an ambulance and have two men in white coats

take me away from all this.

So we are definitely back.

I just want to make sure I'm not talking to to the wall that people are here, definitely here.

But we're waiting for a few more people to join.

I think

I do.

I could I could ramble on about my stresses this week, but no.

Well, let's just let's just get everyone coming back first before you start

spreading this is pure vodka, okay?

That's

what it's not.

It's only water, but it should be kind of just say this week, it's been crazy.

Anyway, I'm crazy.

I mean, everything has been going wrong anyway.

Not, not for us necessarily, but but generally,

I suppose genuinely in the country

because here in England.

Right.

Why do people keep laughing?

That's the rest of the world.

Why do I why why do I hear laughter

whenever I say England?

What's funny about that? There's nothing funny about England.

We can hear it coming across the channel

and across the Atlantic, around the globe,

the North Sea, everywhere we can hear laughter in the air.

All right.

We've only got 29 people watching, so

I don't even want to put any effort into this to be able to say that. Mr.

Duncan, these 29 people have been hanging on waiting for us to come on.

I just want to go down and get going upstairs and lie down on the bed and cry myself to sleep.

Well, let's talk about.

Well, we've got to carry on, Mr. Duncan.

Professional, professional.

And these lovely people

have been loyally hanging on, chatting away to each other, telling jokes.

Do you have anything better to do?

Well, no, obviously not.

And we don't either.

And I said, Oh, well, we clearly have nothing better to do.

So thank you once again for hanging on, waiting for us through the technical difficulties.

Technical difficulties.

It was they was it was like it was like telling someone who's had

a fatal heart attack that they they've they've got indigestion.

It's going up.

Mr. Duncan, more people are rejoining. Okay, good.

So good, I think.

I mean, Tomic said he was off to get a get a doughnut.

Somebody else is making a cup of coffee.

Can I have a doughnut?

So anything.

It was welcome opportunities for people to take a little break

and go and sustain themselves with food

and sustenance, sustain.

No one ever says that in the sentence that people went off to get sustenance.

I'm just going to sustain myself.

Sustenance is food, water.

Okay.

Steve dragged Steve.

We did a really good show last Sunday.

We did this this Sunday.

Today is the worst one ever is strange that isn't it?

But we could turn it around just like people do

when that when they're on this, on the skids work when they're on the skids, yes.

When they're at their lowest ebb.

People can can come back from from from the ashes.

Are you just Phoenix rising, Mr. Duncan?

That's what we need to do on this livestream.

We need to rise like the Phoenix from the ashes.

And people will then say, this is the best livestream ever.

Yes. Well, I've got news for you, Steve.

In adversity, no one no one ever says that this is the best thing on YouTube.

But Paul, anyway, from adversity comes

the mother of invention or whatever that phrase is.

I've heard the word crap used a few times.

Then put yourself down, Mr. Duncan.

Talking of which, today we are looking at emojis.

Would you like to see one of the most famous emojis?

There it is.

And I think that sums up today's live stream.

Mr. Duncan.

Oh, by the way.

Well, I'll wait for a bit longer before.

Yeah, we might have to wait a while.

Yes, Palmira asks what was made in 1961

while the person is wearing this t shirt.

He was made in 1961 or more to the point, Steve, Mr.

Duncan gave me this as a birthday present when I was Big six.

I know. I don't remember.

I know.

I have to say, it was I when I was Big Six,

so when I was 16, that's not even a sense of the Big Six.

M Yes, just such there was a power cut.

Apparently the story is nine months before there was a power cut and Mr.

Steve's mum and dad were sitting at home and everything went off.

The television went off

the electricity in the house.

It all went off and then their clothes went off.

I don't want to think about my parents

in any kind of that type of activity.

No, nobody likes to think of that, Mr. Duncan.

Anyway, that's why you were brought up in a very different environment than I was there in heaven now.

So in your parents literally have sex in front of you, so what now?

But different families are all different time.

They said, when I grew up, you know, it was all you know, you never I never saw any kind of,

you know, even mild affection between my parents.

No affection.

It was the occasional little peck on the cheek.

You can say this now, you see, because they can't come and complain.

I could be listening raging, but they can't actually do anything.

I don't like the idea, by the way, people say that when your parents die, they're watching you all the time.

That is the most horrific thought.

If I were you shouting, I'm not sure. It's okay, Steve.

The connexions back now.

I just think I was shouting

outside in case it so that you could hear as you're still shouting.

Now I'm just talking normally.

This is not normal. Just.

I'm just trying to get excited. Psyched up. Mr..

I don't like the idea of your parents watching you all the time, by the way.

What about when you're in the toilet that is trying to push out a big poop

that is actually a bit of a horror thing for me.

What if you're having some sexy time with your partner?

I know what my parents are.

They're above watching you.

Can you tune them out when you want to?

I mean, that is actually that's actually been haunting me constantly.

Yeah, I don't want that to happen

since obviously my

mother passed away and it happened when my father passed away,

that I think that they are somehow looking down or up

or whatever of.

Do you think Steve thinks his parents have gone to hell?

Well, I don't know where they've gone, but my my mother's deaf.

If anyone who deserves to go to heaven, it would have been my mother.

Yeah, if she doesn't end up in heaven.

But, you know, there's no hope for anyone anyway.

That's not what I'm talking about.

I know.

Well, I'm just talking about the people.

Believe your parents are watching you.

I know all the time when you're doing everything.

So what about you?

If you want a bit of a bit of new time with your partner.

What? What?

Or maybe, as I said, you're sitting on the toilet.

Well, maybe.

Maybe you're having to go to the doctor's to have that thing removed.

Well, I know you don't want to think that.

You want to think that they're still there.

And the spirit of the soul is there.

But really, could there be anything worse

than your parents

or or other significant people constantly?

Look, I'm sure they've got better things to do.

I don't care about what anyone else can watch me, but I don't want my parents watching me.

Well, my my parents are still alive, and I'm not even sure if they watch this.

I mean, I know my mum doesn't live, by the way, a lot of people asking about my mother.

I know we're joking today about these things because well, to be honest, Steve's

mum would also have a laugh as well because she did have a very strange sense of humour.

But my mum is okay even though can I say it?

Last week we did have a scare last week with my mother.

Oh, didn't we? It was crazy.

We thought, here we go again.

We had a phone call saying, You've got to go and see your mum.

She's in hospital and she's,

she's not going to survive. Yes.

And so we all rushed there last week and she was taken back to the care home

and we're all gathered there around the bed.

And my mum looked awful.

She was making some strange noises.

They said she got pneumonia. Yeah.

And she's only got hours to live.

And then 3 hours later after sitting there,

she suddenly woke up, started complaining, and then was fighting with everyone in class,

including one of the nurses and your sister

actually fighting and, and she was telling us all to go away

in no uncertain terms, using language that we could not repeat on the live stream.

If there is one thing my mother tells a lot or did in her younger life, it was swear.

And when I say swear, I mean really bad language.

She loved swearing

and she was swearing the other day.

So I knew that my mother had returned from from whatever it was she was going towards.

I think it was a mis diagnosis.

It's very strange.

Anyway, that's not that's not do that one. I know, but I'm just saying.

But she did make this we were all around the bed

thinking this is last week, this is it.

Yeah, last Thursday, last week.

And then

it was like Lazarus.

You may have heard the story of Lazarus who wanted to come back to life.

He chose life as long as he was a fan of Jesus, he could have life.

So he came back from the dead.

And my mother seemed to do the same thing last week.

So we had a big drama last week.

We were all there, really worried.

But then Mama woke up.

She started complaining, told us all to

just to go away, leave her alone for a while.

And and she was hungry.

So she was eating food non-stop for the rest of the visit.

Nice. Isn't that strange, though?

I know. Because they told.

They told the people at the home not to feed your mother.

Yes. Don't go down that road. Okay.

Okay.

So anyway, I'm just saying that what they said.

Yes, okay.

She hadn't eaten

a bit

angry because.

Right. And let's get on to today's subject.

We've got lots of things to catch up on, haven't we, Mr..

Then eventually, yes.

Well you brought this subject up. Mr.

DUNCAN Oh, well, I was just saying that, that it's strange

because my mum's all right now. Yes.

Like, well, when I say all right, she still has Alzheimer's, unfortunately.

So she's still got that.

But is really weird isn't it.

Isn't it. With Banbury it's anyway carry on Steve.

I was going are we going to do you want to talk about the chaos that is going on politically in this country?

Well, I mentioned this earlier.

I did mention it on the stream, the other stream before it broke

and stopped working.

I did mention that we're all going to have a chance now.

Everyone in the UK, apparently this is what we're going to do now.

Everyone can have a chance to be the prime minister

for for two days.

So so two days.

Every person will have a chance to be the prime minister of the UK.

So, so apparently I've already been given my slot.

My slot is next June.

So next June I will be the Prime Minister of this country for two days.

And then during those two days I will probably do some things,

maybe some great things, maybe some terrible things, maybe some really crappy ideas,

but I will try my best and that's what we're doing now.

Apparently everyone is going to have a chance.

Everyone has a go. You've got to book your slot. It's difficult.

It's a bit like trying to book a slot for for home shopping from a supermarket, as you know you've got.

Yes. Because you could only go so far ahead.

So you've got to be, you know, there at the right time to be able to book your slot to be PM for two days.

Yes. So that's it.

And that's how we're going to solve the chaos in this country.

Yes. So that's that's what's happening.

So so we're not going to bother anymore with having a prime minister who just stays there.

We're just going to keep swapping all the time.

I think it will catch on, to be honest. I think it will.

Yes. That's a chaos.

And as some people have already intimated.

Intimated, haven't you that have they intimated they've been intimating?

What does that mean? Certain person with a surname

begins, as Jay

Johnson may.

Well, he's trying to come back as prime minister

and the rest of the world is laughing.

You know, they call him.

You know, they call him B.J..

Yes, I know. I don't want to.

You see, this is the trouble they give him these sort of fun names.

I just made a joke there, by the way, but yeah, I think it went straight over Steve's head.

But no, it didn't.

I know what you were trying to say, Mr..

But they called him be an emoji for that, by the way.

That probably is somewhere well, maybe not, but yes, we won't get too much into it.

But let's just say we are not fans.

You know, when Steve whenever Steve says, I won't get too deep into it,

he then talks about it for another 5 minutes.

But that's what's happening here.

So that's the reason why every time I say England, there is.

LAUGHTER Yes.

Yeah, because everyone's laughing at the rest of the world, particularly here about imagine.

And I don't blame them because, you know,

we're like some third rate country now.

Third rate, I didn't know.

Are we rating countries? Yes.

I mean, we used to look upon developing countries.

You know, they'll be one day up to our level.

You know, the UK was seen as a stable country.

Well, you know, a reliable partner in the world.

And it's just been utter chaos.

And we know what we can trace it all back to.

Oh, okay.

Does anyone want to hear this?

But anyway, what you said, this is really not as good as last week's

if you like this, by the way, if you want to see good life stream.

We did a really good one last week.

What's that one? So don't watch this now click away. So.

So everyone go and watch last Sunday's live stream

the week before last Sunday because that was a really good one.

This one today. I don't know what this is.

It's fantastic, Mr.

Duncan.

And we've got a lot to talk about, not just the chaos in this country, emojis.

You want to talk about how long we saying are we going on for longer?

I have absolutely no idea now.

Well, let's just carry on then.

All right, Moss, I'm going to talk about Moss.

Mr. Duncan, no doubt.

Moss on the lawn.

I want to talk about emojis. Right.

Okay.

I've literally sat this morning planning all of this.

I was going to talk about hard things and easy things because we didn't do it last week.

That's we ran out of time because Mr.

Steve was talking too much.

And today we've run out of time because well, because everything kept breaking down.

But we'll carry on for a bit longer when we will.

Yes, we are looking at emojis.

Would you like to see some lovely emojis, Mr.

Steve? Go on.

There are some.

So they are common emojis.

So these are the most common.

So you might notice there.

There is the most common one.

Look at the screen, Steve.

I'm looking I've already looked so we have this one.

What's this one? Smiley face. That's the most common one.

Apparently lazy people and people who don't really understand

the concept of emojis fail.

They just click that one for anything, whatever it is.

Do you keep beeping in my ear?

Yeah. I'm burping, Mr. Duncan. Yes, that's.

That's good.

It's very distracting.

Like while you were showing those cows earlier.

But I'm just like a cow.

I'm constantly belching. Yes.

And leaving poops everywhere.

Giant poops.

So there is the most common one.

So that's the one most people use.

And then there's this one which I think is

gritted teeth when you are trying to bear something,

something you are trying to

to tolerate, but you almost can't, this one here is laughing a lot.

You are laughing and your eyes are closed because you're laughing so much.

He This one is laughing and crying at the same time.

Something that people are doing this week about this country.

So people are laughing so much, they are actually crying at the same time.

Don't worry, I'm not going to do all of them.

And I just say this could turn into a very, very tedious live stream.

Next step.

If you do that, Mr.

Duncan So we have laughing again, but I don't know what the difference is with him.

What's that? It's pretty.

That one and that one. Is there any difference?

I don't know.

Not much difference. I like I like you.

Go down one, Mr.

Duncan, into the middle row from right.

You just go down one. No, you were just.

Ibrahim, I want you. How do I get my finger up that

way? That's.

That's the one. I like that one. Oh, with the sunglasses.

The sunglasses. That's the one I use quite commonly.

Oh I see. I think it just means sort of cool.

So it's under there. The second one down.

Yes. Sunglasses.

Okay, that's good.

I and this one, this is my favourite.

The, the innocent person who is innocent and angelic.

They are such a nice person.

They never do anything wrong.

They are like an angel and that that's my favourite.

I like that one. Yes.

Please tell us your favourite emoji.

Incidentally, Mr.

Duncan, I looked up because I noticed

Tomic in the first livestream

asked a question while I was upstairs preparing

what is the you know, who decides on these emojis?

Yes, but I looked it up. Yes, apparently so.

There is a hole.

There's a whole group of people who have to decide whether the emoji is

able to be used. Hmm.

The unique the Unicode Consortium.

Yes, there is a consortium which is a group of people isn't it.

They get together, you know, different.

Yes. Areas and it's called the Unicode Consortium.

They do other things amongst amongst that they decide on

what emojis are allowed for us to use.

So this is these are grown adults.

Yes. Wearing suits, sitting in an office

and they're all deciding which emojis that they are going to allow.

So I just I would love to be at that meeting where they're having people

put put large diagrams on a whiteboard and say, oh,

this is the new emoji for Please get out of my house.

Oh, okay.

Then yes, I can see that one too.

So do we approve that one?

Everyone, apparently the how the process works, from what I understand, from

what I've read is that there has to be a petition.

So you can't just say approach

this consortium and say, can we have this emoji?

You have to have got a petition with, you know, lots of names on it

saying that they would all like this new emoji.

And then the Unicode consortium, which is made up of representatives from

major

computer manufacturers like Apple, Microsoft, Google,

Facebook, as well as rappers, entities

from most all lots of countries all around the world, including India.

This seems like a lot of work just to approve something

that's a smiley face with with angry eyes.

Lithuania are on this group and they all meet together.

Probably do it by Zoom or something very similar to this.

I'm not sure what that one is.

I think that's a dead person.

So that's dead.

I think that one is.

So you're a dead person.

You're saying I'm dead, I'm dead. You've killed me.

I'm dead. I think so.

And then we have this one.

This one is surprise,

surprise dies.

And then we have this one, which is what I like to do to Mr.

Steve. Sometimes I like to put the zip on Mr.

Steve's mouth. That's a good one.

I like to close it.

And here is a coronavirus one.

So this one was very trendy in 2020, somebody with a mask

and it is an emoji for that.

Here is someone.

Did you ever send that 108, maybe four.

You are telling people that you have COVID and then you would, you would put that on the end.

Yeah. Are you telling people put a mask on.

Yeah, I'm not quite sure.

Maybe, but yes, it's a mysterious people

that we never get to see are voting on whether we have an emoji.

Yeah.

And then presumably then gets put across all the platform.

I just find I find it amazing but it is quite

I've just put it in the live chat as those, the one I mentioned earlier,

the poop one poopy, poopy friendly poop.

That wasn't it atomic.

Ask if I if I could spell your name.

They think I've got that right.

The consortium that does it if you're fascinating, it's universal.

Pardon? Universal.

What is the Universal Unicode Consortium?

Is it something like that?

Yes. Anyway, unique about anybody.

You can find it. You can find it out.

But I would have thought you'd have been far too busy to me

anyway, because after last week you said you were very, very busy.

So you haven't got time to look this up.

So I never lied to you.

Okay, fine.

I'm fine. Mr.

Carry on. This is sort of rambling.

Oh, rambling.

I can. I can zip it if you want me to.

But it's getting hungry that I can.

I can feel the heat coming off.

Mr. Steve So this is another one that's a ghost one because Halloween is coming up.

That's a good one.

And there is a skull if you want to scare your friends with a scary emoji.

And then we have an alien there.

Alien emoji. I like that one.

And then a robot emoji

because I was once talking about it again.

Artificial intelligence robots are coming.

They are.

That's what we need as a new prime minister.

I thought we had one.

We we need an artificial intelligence because there's no real intelligence at the moment.

And the government.

Hmm. It's it is a problem.

It is a I thought Liz Truss may have been a robot.

I think she was.

I think they were they were there was somebody at the back adjusting the the nuts and bolts.

And this is what annoys me more than anything else about politicians

is that they never answer a question.

You ask them a question, and it's

the goal

of this government is to make sure that the people of the UK,

they never answer the question, they just trot out this sound bite.

This is what you said last week.

I know, but it's so annoying.

I mean, you can't vote for any of them because they they're not even human beings.

They are like robots, as you say, Mr.

Duncan, that they're not trained to say what they think and what that's what they should do.

I want a real person who says what they really think and what they feel.

But if they did that, I think we would all be in trouble.

It's a meme you want people to tell you, okay, so what is really going to stay anyway, right? Yes.

You're on the wrong show here.

I'm not on the wrong show yet.

You should go to one of these podcasts where they just all complain and moan about the government.

I'm going to set one up.

I'm going to start my own, Mr. Juncker, because you will.

Please, lady, there's a police lady there.

Look, police lady.

So we have all of these because of course,

gender is the new thing, isn't it, Steve?

Yes, we have to have gender relatable emojis.

So there is a lady police woman or police person

or police officer and that looks like a builder.

It's also a lady.

And then we have a lady.

Oh, she's getting married. So there is a bride?

Of course a lady.

Quite often the bride will be a lady.

I like saying lady, if you know my father.

Christmas next to the bride.

That's right. Yes.

It looks like Father Christmas is marrying this lady's.

Oh, maybe, maybe, maybe.

For all of these years, maybe Santa Claus is the bachelor.

It is not very happy.

It is not to be marrying such a beautiful girl, but he is getting married.

That is no reason to be happy ever.

But he's marrying somebody who's a lot younger than him.

And you know, you should be happy.

You would have thought one of one of my favourite

emojis is The Pregnant Man.

Have you seen that one?

So instead of a woman with a bump,

it's actually now a man with a bump because apparently men

can get pregnant.

We, by the way, we are not touching that.

No, we're not going there. We're not going there.

But but there is there is an emoji that shows a man pranking Conant.

All I can say is

with all that when it comes out,

that that is really going to be painful.

Is it just not a fat man? It will.

It will be nothing like passing a kidney stone,

is it just not a fat man?

Mr. Dan is not a fat person. No.

Ironically, you can't do a fat person emoji because that's offensive.

But you can have a pregnant man emoji,

which some people will find offensive.

So it does exist. Look it up.

Check it out on the Internet, everyone.

And they voted on that

and approved it.

I like this one.

So this is this is a naughty one.

We're going to look at some naughty some naughty emojis.

Would you like to see some? So here is an emoji.

This is a smiley face looking very happy

because obviously someone or maybe

a group of people have been kissing this emoji.

So he is looking very pleased.

Very pleased indeed.

Or maybe her. It could be her.

It could be him.

It could be anything in between.

One of those lovely rainbow colours in between.

So don't worry about that.

So there it is. I like that one. That's a naughty one.

Whoever is kissing them has got lipstick. Yes,

but that doesn't mean anything. Doesn't mean anything.

It doesn't mean anything nowadays.

I mean, we grew up in the eighties.

All the men were wearing lipstick in the 1980s.

Well, only on television.

Well, that's

I don't remember seeing anybody in the street

with lipstick on a man in the street with lipstick on.

I did. I did it.

I wore lipstick.

And that's why you were beaten up quite regularly.

Is that supposed to be a joke?

I think even now.

I think you would like.

Could you go out on the street?

Could you, man?

Could you and I go not not that we would,

but could we just walk into the street now with lipstick on?

Yes, I think you could, especially in much Wenlock.

We would be stared at, we would be ridiculed.

They're all inbred, he say. So.

So it's all the families keep marrying each other and it just goes round around. So.

So I think is walking down the high street with lipstick.

I don't think anyone would care.

They thought they wouldn't even notice.

They wouldn't.

Yes, really. And says it's a beer badly.

I say not a pregnant man. Oh.

So it could be an analogy of a man with a bear

badly, something that, of course, we don't have.

We don't suffer from beer bellies.

Not yet.

Anyway, here's another one.

Maybe you want to say something naughty to someone.

Maybe you are angry and you want to swear at them like my mother last week.

Oh, yes.

Oh, this is a good one.

A very good way of expressing anger, but also anger to the point

where you actually want to swear at them and curse them.

Oh, I like that one.

Better. Easier.

Going back to the last one. Hello?

Claudia. Claudia.

But if somebody wants to be known as Claudia, why doesn't she put Claudia not better.

Easier? Well, because that's that's a handle.

But but but now we're nowhere personally in touch with.

Wow. Claudia So now we know Claudia very well

what Claudia just said that that last emoji with the kisses on it

is, is actually her with your kisses.

Oh, I see, I see. It could be.

You can

use it to your heart's delight.

So it is. That's it. So it's Claudia.

You haven't got any hair.

It doesn't matter.

It's a very yellow. It's an emoji.

So you probably got hepatitis, but.

Or you've been eating too many carrots.

Well, that's the thing with the images.

They're all yellow, aren't they?

They've obviously been eating far too many carrots

and. Yeah.

Did you just say that?

Well, I'm just making observation, you know.

Okay, that's right. Yes, I like that one.

If you like.

If you want to swear, you see, that's what you do.

You put this at the end of a sentence.

If you are angry about something, you say, who?

Oh, I want to swear at you.

I could have used that one at work if I had known that one existed.

We had a we had a, you know, in our team.

We had a WhatsApp group, if I didn't know.

And the number of times we were moaning about work

and stupid things that we're doing, I can say it now because I've left.

Oh, no. Hello? Gaming. Gaming. Sheung is here.

I think maybe you were watching in China now.

Hello to you.

How are you?

Don't interrupt.

Really, Mr.

Chen, don't let me finish my sentence, Mario.

I didn't even know what I was saying.

Now, what was I saying?

You cut me off completely, Mr. Duncan.

It was.

You can't remember what you were just saying. Okay.

Can someone please remind Steve what he was just talking about?

So. And it's it's it's.

It's. Yeah. Jianming Zhang.

Hello to you. It's very nice. How are you today? Now, my.

How are you? Yes, I'm okay.

Just because there's somebody from China and you just want to show off, you know, that is Chinese.

Yes, I do.

So you cut me off just to do that.

You couldn't have waited.

Don't be careful, because I might.

I might do what she Ping did yesterday to Hu Jintao.

Oh, I carried him away.

Yes. Now, some people are saying that that Mr.. Hoo

hoo hoo hoo.

Yeah, that's what I mean. Who?

Well, who who are you talking about? Yes.

Yes, I am.

I'm talking about who but who. Who are you talking about?

I don't know who the last president was.

It Prime Minister? I don't know.

What do they have?

Presidents have presidents.

The grand leader.

They Supreme leader.

They used to have supreme leaders.

You see, they never show things on television when they the last supreme leader was actually Mao Tse tung.

But but they they they got rid of all that

when Deng Xiaoping came along

and he wanted to reform everything.

And then Mrs.

Thatcher went there and she said, I really like China.

Now let's be friends.

And then here we are.

We're well, we're not friends anymore with China, but we are.

But with them we're not.

So it really depends.

So it was very dramatic yesterday.

Poor old Hu Jintao did not look as if he wanted to go anywhere.

He didn't look very well to me. I thought he looked ill.

I think he was a bit ill.

So maybe he was acting strange and I thought it would be better

if he went, which, you know, is something

that they could have done to a lot of people in the Conservative Party.

This is to be very nice to see some of those people walked out,

forcibly removed, carried out, carried out.

I would like to see Boris Johnson taken to the edge of a

of the white cliffs of Dover and then just from over the.

Yes, and that's it.

I think that's what they should do in Parliament here.

They should just somebody to people should come in and literally carry

certain people off like a certain person.

His name is Johnson. Yes.

And just get rid of this trash.

Okay.

And hello, everyone.

Welcome to learning English with Mr.

Duncan and Mr.

Steve, where we are now, just deciding which members of our government

should be thrown over the edge of the white cliffs of Dover.

Well, what do you think you're watching the news.

What do you make of what is happening in the UK at the moment

and the prospect of a Prime Minister?

But we don't know. We don't really understand it.

Two months ago was thrown out for being a liar and corrupt

and is now possibly going to come back again.

What do you make of that?

I'm going to take to last week's live stream underneath here.

It will be there later.

So you can watch that instead of this.

This is from putting his house down.

I don't know any safe town. I'm not putting my sister down.

I'm just I just, you know, very aware that we don't have many people watching.

That's because we went off.

Mr. Duncan, you don't have to keep referring to it.

I just carry on.

I just wish YouTube.

YouTube would stop.

We had a very interesting question last week on the live chat, by the way.

Very interesting question.

If you have 1 million subscribers, Mr.

Duncan, how come only

70 or 80 people watch your live stream?

That is a very good question.

I saw that too.

And I only YouTube only YouTube can actually answer that question, but they never will.

It is all to do with algorithms.

It is to do with the system.

If they like you, you will float to the top.

If they don't like you, you will sink to the bottom.

That's the reason I am at the bottom.

The widest part of the pyramid.

Yes. Palmira says enjoy your democracy.

Because if you get supreme leaders like in Russia, China, Belarus,

you have them until they're gone.

But not it's not actually Belarus here.

We're not saying that.

You know what? I was sorry.

Did I say Belarus?

Belarus? It's just anyone watching might misunderstand.

That's it.

So we're not saying that.

Claudia is a supreme leader of any country.

Although you might make a very good one.

You might be very good if you were in power.

You might give everyone free food and free cakes every Friday.

So I would like that. So maybe.

Maybe Claudia would be very good.

What's happening in the Conservative Party is a desperate attempt for them to cling on to power.

And they will

they will put anybody in who they think will win them the next general election.

That isn't all it's about. Isn't that what they all do?

You know, I know because the Labour Party is different.

You can't just get rid of a Labour leader so.

Well, no, but what I'm saying is you wouldn't choose someone who won't win.

I know, but they're all incompetent.

They're not capable of governing.

So which ones?

Which ones are the most incompetent?

The ones that the one that we've just got rid of

and the other one before that, who's thinking of coming back again?

All we've got is chaos, indecision,

division, massive divisions all started through Brexit.

Sorry.

And because of that we've got dysfunctional government.

Because

you've got these massive divisions.

Yes. Now, so nobody can get over these or move forwards.

Okay. Unfortunately welcome to

Thomas says that Claude you can offer free dental care.

Yes, I do get into power.

I could do that because dentistry if you have dental work done

here, it's it's it's very expensive.

It is eye wateringly expensive.

So not only is the treatment eye

watering, the price is also eye watering.

It's very expensive.

So Yes, I think everyone should have free dental care

and then the government can subsidise or pay the dentists for their work.

But it doesn't exist here anymore.

Louis, you're absolutely right.

And what you say in your comments there, the problem was that

the British people did vote in back in at the last election.

Yeah.

So that they've already we've already lost our heads

because people voted him back and wanted him as the Prime Minister

because he's just this wonderful, fun guy, everybody.

Oh, good. Oh, Boris.

And this is what this is what all these charismatic leaders do.

They they they they they project this charisma.

They make everybody think they're wonderful,

but underneath they're absolutely useless.

I am going to call it

I'm going to call it now I'm going to say that Rishi Sunak will be the next prime minister.

Let me go. Well, I hope he is, because he will.

Well, there's no doubt about it.

Why do you say that? Because it will happen.

That's what's going to happen.

Well, if he isn't, we really will know

that the Conservative Party have completely lost all moral compass.

It's a bit like the best.

You've got a pile of it, got a pile of rubbish in the corner of the room.

But you can only keep one thing

from that pile of rubbish and it has to be the best thing there.

That's a bit like choosing

the leader of any party,

not just conservative, because that's what happens every election.

I remember in South Park they had a great little story about two people who were running, I think.

I think they want to be the school president.

And they said all elections are run by a turd sandwich

and a giant douche and that's it.

They're never very good.

So you have to choose from two or three terrible people.

So you just choose which one is the least terrible.

But it didn't used to be like that, as you were saying yesterday.

I mean, we used to vote and you had,

you know, at least a couple of good candidates, people that you thought, yeah, they can run like that.

Cameron, for example.

I mean, we know he messed everything up, but at least, you know,

he was quite a good prime minister

and you know, Tony Blair was.

And whether you like him or hate him, he was quite a good prime minister.

Government was working, it was functioning.

He was, like you said, Tony Blair.

Yeah.

I mean, I didn't vote for him, but you can't say he was a bad. Yes.

He made some catastrophic decisions, you know, instead in parts of the world,

I'm talking about getting away by shouting out what I'm.

Yeah, the point I'm making is I have no government that's working, that's functioning properly.

But anyway, let's not get into that.

Let's not get into it.

You were writing right into it.

So on that I agree, Mr. Jenkins.

You see, having read the I've been making comments all over the Internet over the last few days.

Have you when I see news items now

and I see something I am writing, there's always a section you can make comments.

Yeah.

So you've been leaving comment?

I mean, leaving comments all over the internet.

I've even written to my local MP

to express my disgust at the possibility that Johnson might be coming back.

You know, Prime Minister not sending letters to Jodie Foster as well, are you?

They're very well constructed

because it's not rude.

I'm just saying how I feel because once you start

writing letters to Jodie Foster, apparently, apparently it's just a downhill.

Jodie Foster.

Jodie Foster, who's Jodie Foster who?

Jodie Foster is one of the most famous actresses in the world.

Oh, that, that Jodie Foster.

Well which, which, which Jodie Foster I don't know.

I haven't seen her in a film for years.

She's, she's, she's literally in the film at the moment.

Right.

Well I don't really watch films but very famous actress.

And of course the guy who shot Ronald Reagan

was doing it for Jodie Foster.

He's doing he was doing it as a gift as she was.

She was in Silence of the Lambs, is that right? She was.

That's right.

She that other one about going to see aliens cut my contact.

Contact. That's it.

So but yes, but the fact that so so is it.

As long as you're not writing in the letters to Jodie Foster, you're okay?

Well, it's going to happen.

Is this is all going to send more division in society?

Oh, yes.

Well, it does matter because the world is in a very fragile state.

It is it needs strong governments.

When I if we're going to protect democracy.

Hi, Steve. Steve, this is not the time or place.

In the early 1980s, we thought

that the Third World War was going to start with Russia.

Every day people were talking about nuclear war in the early 1980s.

And I guess what I'm going to spoil the plot.

It didn't happen.

It very nearly did, though, Mr. Duncan.

No, not in the 1980s.

It was all just it turned out to be all in the 1980s, right?

Well, that's what I said. Yes, the 1980s.

The very nearly did happen in the sixties.

Well, yes, that's a different thing altogether.

I'm not talking about that.

I'm talking about the 1980s.

Oh, my God.

What is this is what?

Anyway, in the 1980s, it turned out to be just sabre rattling.

So everyone was making up things and none of it was true.

And so that was different. And then it all passed.

And I think now we've almost come full circle where everyone again is talking

like it's going to be the end of the world, the end of the world.

I don't think is going to be the end of the world.

So don't worry about it.

Have a cup of tea.

Put your feet up.

Watch a bit of Netflix's. The Crown is back.

I'll tell you something there are stupid people who actually believe.

Steve, I've got to say this.

There are stupid people who probably need

to be kept away from everyone else in society that believe

that The Crown is a documentary.

Now, just let that sink in for a moment.

A fictitious television show about the royal family.

There are people who believe that it's a documentary, and the new series of the Crown

now is going to have a special message at the start

to tell

people that this is not a documentary, this is it.

This is the problem.

This is this this goes to the heart of the problem in society.

Now, the people are so far removed from reality

that they don't know what is true and what is what is fact and what is fiction.

Well, I can work it out.

I know you can buy them.

Talking about the majority of people.

And that is a huge problem because people spend most of the time

with their heads buried in, you know, the Internet, buried in the Internet.

That's it.

You always have your head buried in the you know what I mean?

Okay.

I'll tell you something, Mr. Duncan.

If Boris Johnson comes back as prime minister of the UK and

if Donald Trump

comes back as president of the United States, that would be a sign

that Western democracy is finished

and I will build a bunker in the garden

and we are going to prepare for a cataclysm because it will be on the way.

If that happens, we will know it's all over you remind me one of those men that used to see

walking around London with those sandwich boards saying the end is nigh.

I'll tell you what, we're going to live in France

because this is a big country.

What if the French done to deserve us?

Well, no, because I think I think if anyone, if any country is going to survive.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. France, Italy, France.

And we can go and live right in the centre somewhere in the nice out in the country.

In fact, the president comes and cuts our hedges down.

Okay.

And trims our hedges has got a friend that is in France.

I mean, we've got lots of friends in France.

So maybe say, okay, all right. And we've got to

live out there.

All of us. All of us.

Mr. Duncan, everyone on the livestream.

Now we can all go and live ribeye chateau.

I know what you got in power in France. Where are you going to stay?

Got the idea.

I, I'm just saying what I'm very sentence speak.

You're saying the same thing again and again.

I'm going to go to France.

We're going to move there. We're going to go there. We're going to go to France.

In France, all of on the line stream, live together.

Okay. But we're not driving our own crops.

But we're not.

I'm just saying that.

I'm just saying to you,

do you realise they're fighting each other in the streets of Paris at the moment over petrol?

Well, I'm not going to live in Paris, but there's a shortage of

if I knew there have been strikes. Yes.

So I don't think France is on the

I it has to be somewhere else like like Inner Mongolia

or Outer Mongolia maybe.

But what was what, a drab, cold, barren existence that would be.

I've been there, but I went.

It's a bit like much Wenlock a monday afternoon.

It's, it's, it's about, it's, it reminded me of being on the surface of Mars.

Might be what are you talking about now.

I don't know but, but yes.

What's, what's like the surface of Mars.

What I think you felt with your thumb.

You just said

Mongolia is very barren, bleak, cold.

I wouldn't want to live there.

Mr. Duncan, here's some of this. Yes, very few people.

Yes, very few people. You are right.

That seeker, I think you are referring to the number of people watching us at the moment.

I don't think so.

Oh, I see.

I think it was a thing.

That's right. Yes.

But anyway, maybe we could move to Italy.

Italy?

We could go there.

Well, don't want to be unkind to anybody living in Italy, but we always in the UK,

they always paint Italy as being a country in chaos

because of the number of elections that they will have in

I don't think changes of leaders lot, but I don't think we have any.

Well, that's the point I'm making, Mr. Juncker.

This is how Italy is always painted in the UK by politicians,

by the media as being a country in chaos.

They've always giving you elections

and fighting with the politicians, but we're just the same now.

That's what we've turned into.

So no, I think we're worse.

I think we're worse, actually. We're not.

We're not the same. We're worse.

Well, we are like, do you remember those banana republic

tinpot dictators that used to be around in the 1960s and 1970s?

There were lots of them.

It's a bit like that now.

We seem to be turning into one of those tinpot

dictators ships where the leader is changed every every few days

and says moved to the Czech Republic.

The beer is good.

Oh, yes.

That said, yes, I might take up drinking.

Yes, it's going to be a country that's a neutral.

Uh, it well, I think Switzerland traditionally neutral isn't it.

Is it. Yes.

They always remain neutral in wars.

So maybe we could go there. Except it's very expensive.

Okay.

I bet we could buy a nice watch.

Couldn't we get a nice watch?

Mm hmm.

Anybody in Switzerland watching is prepared to take us in if the worst happens.

I don't think.

I don't think Switzerland wants us.

Well, no, we're not with our watches that are made in Lithuania.

Well? Well, is it invisible?

Well, do you know what I'm talking about?

What are those watches?

Okay, Steve, you're just rambling. Well, go on, then.

I'm trying to teach

my missus.

Sorry, everyone.

Last week, by the way, last week.

Last Sunday, a brilliant livestream.

Just. Just forget about this one.

I might delete this.

Actually, I deleted.

Or I may delete my channel at this rate.

So what do you to talk

to them to say that we're talking about emojis.

Don't I dare say what?

What are we going to talk about today?

What are we talking about?

Mr. Duncan? Carry on, then. Show another 100 emojis.

We're talking about

emojis. The government.

Yeah. Poop. Here is the one.

Here is the one that a lot of people recognise straight away.

Oh. Ooh, look at that.

Nobody knows all about that.

Who Claudia was

because she I noticed earlier you said that Claudia was cooking eggplant.

Claudia knows all about this. Yes.

This is one of the this has been banned, by the way, has it?

Some countries.

I'm not joking.

People keep thinking I'm joking.

This has now been banned in some countries.

In some places. You are not allowed to post this.

Do you know why?

No, I've no idea.

Mr. Duncan.

Because it represents a man's dingle dangle.

Right. It doesn't look anything like mine.

Thank goodness. But.

But that is it. That.

So this this is used as as a

as a way of representing

a man's dingle dangle penis.

No, don't say it. Don't say that.

I can say that.

It's a it's a medical term.

Yes, there are lots of medical terms I'd like to use now.

So a man's dingle.

Dingle would could be represented by this.

Oh I think

that's. Have you finished.

I don't know.

Is there another one.

They normally come in threes. I do

make says it looks like he's

can I just say it's funny

if your dingle Dingle looks like this you really do need medical attention straight away

but apparently in some countries in some places there this is now not allowed.

You can't use this emoji.

Do you know what is the worst emoji you can use?

The worst, the worst one.

Now, in terms of being offensive, you make anything the worst one that you shouldn't use ever.

Are you going to use it anyway?

I'm going to show you. Yes, but I'm just asking you first.

I've no idea. It's thumbs up. Okay, it is.

Yes, joking. Go. Right. The thumbs up.

The thumbs up emoji has now

been deemed

as offensive.

You're joking.

I wish I was joking.

I'm not joking.

I keep saying I'm not joking by the woke people.

It is it is all to do with the fact that this can be seen as Patrick

izing and demeaning.

If you do it, if you give

that thumbs up emoji there, it is if you do it.

I haven't got one on the screen.

I can't believe I haven't got one.

But there it is. We all know what it is.

Apparently it's the one you should never use now because people get offended.

They think it's patronising and demeaning.

You are making the person feel awkward or embarrassed

by it.

That's what's happening to the world too.

So anyone know what's happening to the world at the moment?

Everything is a bit weird. It is strange.

But the thing is, it is the easy one to use, isn't it?

It's there. It's right at the start.

The trouble with emojis is I only tend to use the ones that are visible.

I'm not going to search through them.

And the ones that come up first are the smiley face with the thumbs up and the cool one with the glasses.

So I can't be bothered.

So it is second one down from there.

Yes, but when you're on the one, you're on your phone, it comes up.

I think it's the first one that comes up for the second one.

Predictive text will often suggest emojis to you now if you type in a certain word.

So if you type love in a message automatically the

you can get rid of the keyboard that's trying to get rid of it.

Yes, that's what I was trying to tell you.

The I've learnt now that I can actually write text when we're on the livestream.

I've done this all these years and I didn't know I could actually do it.

I'm surprised you can write.

Well, I did have problems early actually putting putting words together

so that so just below the sleepy face there is the thumbs up and that is now bad.

It's a bad thing to use,

but we haven't got to the worst of it yet

because the worst thing and this is something I've noticed

and I'm sure you've noticed as well with emoji is thank you for it.

See Farai

lots of them is that

I don't mind that's an endorsement of the live stream I don't mind the buy.

I love these.

Please give me as many of these as you want because then YouTube

might actually start letting people see my stuff.

Yes, Myra.

Thank you, Myra.

Instead of hiding it, we need lots of likes on these

because that's this is all the algorithms thing that gets.

Mr. Duncan said more. Notice the technical term for it.

So the algorithm thing, please do like the live stream because it will help Mr.

Duncan get noticed more.

The worst thing about emojis

is when people use them inappropriately.

I'm not going to say too much, but we had a drama recently, didn't we?

I'm not going to say what it was, but we received a couple of messages and at the end

there were emojis, but the message was something

very serious and quite unhappy.

But I think sometimes using emojis is not a good idea

because it looks as if maybe you are not being sincere.

So I think the use of emojis can actually slowly

make everyone seem insincere

instead of using them all the time just to use them

occasionally, especially on Facebook.

Social media people will often just click the thumbs up,

whatever it is.

So maybe, maybe a person will say, Oh, I'm sorry.

My my cat died yesterday.

My lovely cat died.

It was hit by a car and it died.

And then people underneath put thumbs up.

But but they're just clicking it.

They're not thinking about the message.

They're just doing it automatically.

Is this because and I've noticed this TV on Facebook, which I rarely go on

and you get text, you haven't got time to read

everybody's texts, not everybody's messages.

So is that what people are doing?

Mr. Duncan said they're not even reading it.

They're just responding because they think that they have to respond to be seen to be responding.

Yeah. And I've noticed this at work.

So instead of reading the message, they're just putting a thumbs up that they haven't even read the message

at all because they don't want to read it because they haven't got time or can't be bothered.

I would say haven't got time.

And I used to notice this at work when we had our work,

the sales team that was in the eight of us. Okay.

And we had a we had a WhatsApp group and so people would put a comment on

and then suddenly everybody would reply to it and everybody would say,

and you haven't got time to keep reading all these messages.

So quite often the easiest thing to do is just like a thumbs up or or.

I used to do the cool with the glasses on

because you haven't got time to soak it all these months.

Unless, of course, someone is saying that one of their parents

passed away last night and you go thumbs up.

But you have.

But the thing is, when you're in a small group, a WhatsApp group, often you have to say something,

because if you don't, people think that you're not engaged to kids when it's work.

Oh, well, Steve and he hasn't replied to the message.

Or maybe he's not. Oh, what's wrong?

And then suddenly, if you don't reply after an hour, you suddenly get someone to call you.

Are you all right, Steven?

You you didn't.

You didn't see you on the on the WhatsApp group, right?

Well, I'm busy, you idiot. Steve. Okay.

Yeah, it's just no scepticism.

It's knowing when to stop that.

I understand we get it, we get it.

So quite often people will use these inappropriately.

Maybe if a person is giving bad news, but the person replying

will just click the like button even if the news is awful.

All of my family were wiped out last night in a fire.

Thumbs up

smiley face because you haven't read the message and you are responding in an inappropriate manner,

which is probably because you're sick to death of how much time does it take?

This is why I don't go on Facebook.

I haven't got enough time in the day to constantly

be reading messages about what people are doing.

Okay, I just haven't got the time.

I just literally haven't got the time in my life to be doing it.

But I need to decide on what most treatment that needs to go on the move

and which which angry letter or email should I send to my local MP?

Which plant shall I buy to?

Make the new hedgerow and to do everything.

This has been a problem though, so Steve is not very good at deciding things,

making decisions in that situation.

So I think the world of emojis, here they come.

Look, there are so many of them.

Look at all those emojis.

Can you see any you recognise that there are quite a few.

No, because I never go beyond the ones that are visible. Yes.

On, you know what, I'm sending a message.

There are only so many that are visible on the screen.

So I never go beyond ones that I can't see because I'm not going to spend 5 minutes

just trying to decide on an emoji so I can see

when that look that looks like a prawn.

Has anyone ever used that emoji?

That's rude to me. Prawn emoji.

And that looks very rude.

It looks rather rude, but it isn't. It's it's it's a prawn.

It looks like a prawn with who's getting excited.

Okay, Steve, that's.

It's very, uh, what's the word I'm looking for

if you just

joined us, by the way, this is the second attempt

at doing a live stream for Sunday, live

from England.

Yes, right.

Why is that funny?

Where the laughing stock of the world, if you say if you say to somebody or something

that are the laughing stock, it means everyone is laughing at you

and ridiculing you because they think you're stupid. Yes.

Because you've done something stupid sometimes are right.

Of course.

And in this case, sometimes, like

my nose is running, Mr.

Duncan will notice.

You better hurry up and chase it.

Did somebody have COVID early on the live stream with you commenting about somebody who might have had COVID?

I think there's a lot of people in there wishing they had COVID just so they don't have to watch this.

A lot of people getting it the moment who have escaped it all this time.

I've got two people I know

who never got COVID.

Yeah.

And suddenly they've got it now.

They thought they'd escaped and they're getting it.

Lots of people thought they'd escaped it.

Suddenly getting it.

Uh, yes.

That's good.

Any more emojis, Mr. Duncan? Oh, any more emojis?

Oh, we're going to give people a timescale about when we're going to go.

No, we better not.

Because if we do that, people might go, yes.

If we say we're going, then people will leave.

We're not going to have them again.

We will just suddenly disappear like we did earlier.

Could be 30 seconds.

It might be another half an hour. I don't know what happened today.

Something really bad happened today.

It went completely wrong.

The connexion broke and then the computer restarted.

Then I couldn't go, Mr. Duncan.

I couldn't get anything connected.

So this is part two.

I don't know how it's going to work out later,

but I'm sure you will find this a bit too live streams to watch.

Too few lucky people. But

that's a good one.

Very tense.

My boss got really angry with me this morning.

He kept shouting and cursing.

At least an hour after a while my habits kicked in

and at one point I said, You're right, honey.

Oh, in that you mean the boss is wife?

Although, although the V tested, say, my boss, he kept shouting,

Yes, sir, maybe you are involved in a homosexual relationship.

Maybe.

Yeah, maybe. Nothing wrong with that.

Nothing wrong with that.

Don't knock it until you've tried it. Yes,

but anyway, there we. It was funny.

Maybe she maybe my boss was angry at me this morning and complained

she instead of he.

So if you are telling the joke as a male and you want it

to appear as if it's your wife, you would say she are not he.

Unless of course you are happily

to a nice man

and you live together

in a beautiful house with white picket fences.

I think Test has just been inclusive. Yeah.

Inclusive of all possible relationships.

All of them.

All possible interactions.

All shapes and sizes. You know, the flag.

The flag has all of the colours.

Now there are some colours that don't even exist on the flag.

Now it's all them. Every single.

Every single colour is lumped together.

We're all together in a big happy

group.

Mm hmm. Yes.

Right.

Emojis, right. Don't count.

Oh, okay. Yeah.

Have you any more to surprises?

Why does. Why would you think I had more? I don't know.

Because I suppose the one we've been using today quite a lot is this like this one.

See that one to describe lib?

What is going on in politics in the UK?

Well, no, it's not necessarily anything.

So anything that a person thinks is a pile poop, that's all I'm saying.

I'm not using the real word.

Don't use the real word for goodness sake.

Please don't.

Don't use the real words.

I won't do not whatever you do.

Do you mean the one beginning with F or the one beginning with S well, f?

Yeah. Well, clearly, this is.

This is a pile of poop. Hmm.

Well, the word beginning with F would be the sort of technical.

Oh, I see. Oh, yes. And I use that.

No one's using that word anyway, but can I use it now?

So there it is.

That's one that a lot of people use when they want to show that something is awful.

But there is another one and I couldn't find it.

There is another one, Steve, that has flies buzzing around it.

There are some flies around it,

which is my favourite, but I couldn't find it.

But I know it exists somewhere.

So there it is.

We call that the poop emoji

because it's a it's a poop with a smiley face, but it's so friendly.

Who would have ever imagined that society

would one day have a smiling piece of poop

as an icon that is being used around the world?

Wasn't there a character on the American cartoon series, South Park?

Who was it like a friendly piece of poop?

That, of course, was Mr.

Hanky at it? Yes.

Oh, oh, oh.

Beatrice now has a bad signal.

So we we, you know, we feel your pain. Yes.

It's not us, but not this time.

I've just checked my signal.

It is 100% okay.

Fancy pants.

Very nice.

Thank you, Beatrice.

And look to seeing you again next week. Yep.

And hopefully we will have no technical difficulties whatsoever.

Thank you, Beatrice, for watching us today.

It's been a strange one because, well, first all, we were on for around

33 minutes and then the signal disappeared.

Everything went off, and I had to spend a long time repairing it.

Then we came back and it started.

And then it's up until this point here now.

So this now is still the same live stream

that we had to restart earlier.

So this is it. It's still still here.

Now this and those those words

that I'm saying now and those and those words and these words.

So this is now live. We've caught up

in the UK.

Steve. I'm fine. I'm fine.

Yes. Sadly, we don't have time

to talk about hard and easy.

We don't have time to do that.

We didn't have time last week and we don't have time this week either.

Are the emojis for hard and easy?

I wish there were.

Well, maybe thumbs up and thumbs down.

You see, we could probably use those easy,

hard.

So maybe that's it.

Maybe that's when you're typing in your phone.

Certain words. Sometimes the emojis come up, don't they?

That's it.

I meant predictive text will now actually show the emojis.

If you put love, a little heart will come up.

If you put if you put poop, if you put poop, you know what comes up.

And it said to save you having to scroll through.

How many emojis are there altogether?

There are assistants, thousands.

So are they all available? On my device?

On my communication device?

They probably are on your communication device and

I've stopped using them really now because it's sort of,

oh, do you need to use an emoji really.

Everyone's going, by the way?

Yes. Well, they probably think we're going.

Well, I think Claudia is going.

Yeah.

Because where Beatrice is going, things to do, places to go.

I am going as far as we have to go.

I'm thinking about hungry actually.

Yeah.

Well, well, it is 25 hours for eggplant emoji.

It's made me feel we've had. Really?

Are you sure? Yes.

Oh, yes.

Nick Trump said the eggplant was obviously for hard. Yes.

And we know it bears a strong resemblance to a certain person's anatomy.

Yes, a man's a man's Dingley dangly.

Well, Tomic said it looked very much like his because a little bit of events on the livestream

did it?

Yes. I didn't know that you missed that.

You see, I'm paying attention.

Did we have some drama today?

Not really, but a little bit of mild offence,

which could have escalated into a massive argument that didn't work.

Well, that's the problem.

That's why no one watches, because we need more more interaction.

You see, we need more violence, more fighting, because that's that's

why people watch live streams and videos on YouTube.

That's what it's all about these days.

You've got to have confrontation.

You've got to have people disagreeing and fighting and scratching each other.

I don't agree with that.

Oh, I'm going to write something that.

We stay on for another 5 minutes, a bit like you and I can tell everybody

about how I'm treating the moss in my grass, my lawn.

Have you been asked about it? No.

No one's asked about your moss now.

Okay, then I think it's safe to say that no one is interested.

I am ordering Moss.

Are you interested in hearing about Mr.

Steve's moss? Yes.

Uh, and if so,

if have a problem with moss, how do you treat it?

Is there something wrong with your grass? Yes.

And that, you know, can you be accused being a murderer?

If you go out with chemicals, spray them on your lawn and kill them off?

Yeah.

Personally, I'm using

iron sulphate you could call it are other methods.

You could call it lawn aside.

Yes. Lawns if you kill if you kill your grass,

you could call it lawn aside.

But I don't want to kill the grass as I would pronounce it.

You say grass. I say grass. Yes,

I. Because I'm posher than you.

Okay.

So, you know, if you want to be posh, don't say grass.

Say grass. Right.

Okay. Okay.

But it doesn't matter as long as people can understand you, which is what you're always say, Mr.

Duncan. Well, I never have any complaints.

Long as people can understand what you're saying, that's all that matters.

The most important thing of all is that people understand you.

Yes. You're saying?

Well, I don't know if people are really interested in learning

about how I'm treating the moss in public.

I'm not reading the most riveting of subjects know.

Most of today's subjects, by the way, have not been very interesting.

Something is riveting, by the way. We better say that.

If something is riveting, yes, it means it is keeping your attention firmly acting.

You can't stop watching. You are riveted.

So it to note the thing that is used quite often in construction,

quite often things that are made of metal, they usually use small.

They look like but they're not.

They are actually things that are pressed and flattened

and they use the joining metal together.

They put.

Yes, they are called rivet.

Rivet rivets. Yes.

And you you sort of sort of bang them in one end and then flat and then other end.

And the two bits of metal are then.

Or you can weld them I suppose.

But yes, I mean maybe that's where the world comes from.

Being riveted to something you fixed place a fixed.

You can't you know you can't take your eyes off just like this livestream. Yes.

People are riveted on Mr.

Duncan's live stream by Olga because they cannot everyone's going that either way.

So in that case, I think it's probably time for us to go.

They definitely can't take their eyes away from this.

The most of the eyes aren't even watching.

I think.

So we've got our love, lovely Laura viewers that stayed with us

during the downtime when Mr.

Duncan had.

We had a few problems with the connexion and you stayed on.

And we thank you very much for that.

Our lovely Laura viewers who every week are here watching. Yes.

Hoping that we'll actually say something interesting.

One day it will happen one day.

One day you will be rewarded.

I thought last week's live stream was really good.

So if you want to see a good live stream last week was good.

It was a good one last week. So watch it again.

Don't watch this, but watch last week's it was

it was really good Tom I since to stay why

I'm almost talking to no one at the moment.

There are more people surrounding us in houses,

so there are people watching this live stream.

If you haven't already, I will say again, please do like the live stream.

Although I'm not sure that 50 likes would make much difference anyway, but at least please do it anyway.

You can't get likes from people who aren't watching.

Unfortunately, that would be good though.

It would be nice if you could get from people who are not watching

because then we could get millions of likes.

But you have to be watching too.

Like, unfortunately, yeah, it's coming up to half past.

Where were we then?

We were down about ten, 15 minutes, so we've actually done more than we usually would.

Everything.

It's a bit like what people say when they have an accident.

It's like everything is in slow motion.

And that's what happened today when I was trying to repair the Internet connexion

and the computer and everything stopped working

and it felt as if I was moving in slow motion.

Everything around me was

going very slow

I want

to add

stuff like

that is a bit like that.

Oh God, catch my breath and

catch my breath.

Well, I don't know what that was. Sorry about that.

I don't know if I say yeah.

Amelia Lopez. Hello, Amelia.

Hello.

Amelia says we're having an interesting we think you were having such an interesting conversation.

When you use a variety of words, the audience can increase

their vocabulary have vocabulary.

You can't say the words. Well, that's an idea.

That's ironic vocabulary.

So the word you can't say is vocabulary.

Yes. Okay.

That's correct.

And Anna is going by.

Anna?

Yes, Tom. Well, we've tried all this.

It doesn't work.

Well, Michael, I think you meant content.

Yes. Anyway, yeah, we don't know how it works.

We've given up. Really.

We're just very thankful that you make your content every week.

Thank you, Mac. Make your content better.

Thank.

Can I just say thank you, Tom, for that.

I needed that word of and courage.

Maybe that boost today, didn't you?

That there is nothing worse than telling someone

to make something they're doing better.

Because what you're saying is the thing you're doing now is rubbish,

but it's good enough for you and that's all that matters.

That's okay too.

Say, can I just say YouTube is not just about videos.

It isn't.

It's a it's a complex world

where people who appear to be popular

or famous

are actually there for a reason quite.

Often they have other people helping them, or maybe there is money involved, or maybe there are

people behind the scenes who are paying

for that person to be put forward and promoted on the site.

So don't forget that we don't do any of that.

We don't do any promotion.

We don't put money into having ourselves

put all around the sites, mainly because we can't afford it.

It's only us.

It's Mr.

Steve and me that suits.

But we don't have a team of people here.

We don't have people behind the scenes controlling all of this.

It's me.

I have to take care of everything.

I have to take care of the computer.

I have to take care of all of the technical stuff.

Me And sometimes Mr.

Steve comes along and he talks about things.

I'm going to look into all this, Mr.

Duncan, and see if there's anything I can do to help you.

I am sick and tired of it. Yeah, but anyway, Mr.

Negative. And I'm not being negative.

I just. That's not negative.

That's just an opinion.

But it's true.

That's what happens when someone says you need to stick out.

I tried that once and I got arrested perhaps you

perhaps if you kept sharing that eggplant emoji every week, that would get you noticed.

Mr. Duncan I think this one is your eggplant out every week on live stream and you will get noticed.

Okay, then.

So if I get my if I, if I get my eggplant and wave it around, that's it.

Maybe.

Maybe someone will notice me.

You will definitely stick out, Mr. Duncan. Definitely.

Thank you. Especially if it looks like that.

Yes. Yeah, that's it.

If you're Dingli dangly looks like that, you are in a lot of trouble.

I think so. My risk preparing lunch.

As we know a lot of people prepare while they're watching us

and we are quite happy to entertain you while you're doing that.

Yes, of course.

We always like to know what you're cooking, but whatever you are doing, wherever you are going,

whoever you are seeing, I hope it will be an enjoyable

moment of time.

Wouldn't that be nice? Steve if it was, it would be lovely.

I think so.

So are we going to take time?

I think we are going, yes.

Let's go now.

I'm hungry.

My hips are aching. We're going for 2 hours. Poor Mr.

Steve and his aching joints. Yes,

I think I'm going downhill, Mr.

Duncan.

But you know, you.

There's a clue you're old.

That is the clue. Yes.

And everything's falling apart.

Anything made in 1961 has either fallen pieces

or is in the ground or on the scrap heap.

Even to make something is dinner. So which one are you?

What are you eating? We want to know what you were eating.

What was eating?

What are you eating? Tarmac.

What have you got on your plate?

What are you eating?

Tarmac, please tell us.

My best mate and Myra.

What are you preparing for? Your lunch?

We want to know. What are you cooking?

Don't just say you're preparing lunch.

You've got to tell us what it is.

You must know we need a list. We need a menu.

That by thought was What's going on?

My voice there is going by Louis.

I know.

You know it's bad when Louis is going by Louis. Yep.

I know Louis is probably going to cook something.

We are now officially awful.

We've done it.

Yes, thanks to a great job, says Palmira

and Thomas.

Veggies and potatoes.

Well, that sounds nice.

Potatoes?

Do you mean chips maybe you are having chips?

Is it fish chips?

It's fish and chips, isn't it? And peas.

That's what it is. Fish chips.

Fish and chips and peas.

That's what it is.

Is that what they.

When you say potatoes, you mean chips is not what they have in the Netherlands.

Netherlands style. Very healthy dish.

I imagine it's, uh, garnished

with a tulip on the side.

Right again.

Put the kettle on, Mr. Duncan.

I'm going to make a decision.

I'm very bad at making decisions. Thank you, Steve.

Now, making the decision that I'm going

my was preparing roast vegetables with rice and tofu.

Ooh, I don't like tofu. It's disgusting.

A huge hug to us.

I don't like tofu.

I'm not I'm not saying that people who like tofu should not like it,

but I'm saying it is disgusting for its phrase, having salad.

Mara's having very healthy food going on here.

Myra is having

tofu with rice and vegetables, which I'm sure is delicious.

Mr. Duncan It's delicious. It sounds good to me.

It's having it's broccoli, cauliflower, carrots and potato chips.

Very healthy.

Very healthy.

Yeah. Okay.

Thank you, Mr. Steve.

I'm going to gorge on some chocolate.

Steve is going to eat chocolate because we need comfort food after today.

Well, I don't like comfort food.

I've decided to eat healthily.

I'm so surprised. 70.

Very healthy.

Lots of you. Healthy.

Very healthy.

Yeah. Oh, very healthy. Out there. Yes. Well done.

Thumbs up. You are.

It's not the sort of meal I would expect to make to eat, to be honest.

Oh, okay.

Well, fish and chips.

No, no, it's not fish and chips. It's very healthy.

All sorts of mixture of broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, potatoes.

Uh, so, yeah, I expected junk food.

Anyway, there you go. Yeah.

I'm always surprised by.

By what people say on the lives particularly stomach,

but right never fanciful, fun and laughs.

It's all good fun.

At the end of the day, no one actually cares.

And one day we'll all meet up and have a good laugh.

60 years from now, we will always hope we'll all be dead so it won't matter.

So just have for some of us a lot sooner than that.

Thank you, Mr. Steve.

Thank you, Mr. Duncan.

Thank you, Mr. Stewart.

For being here and I shall enjoy looking forward to seeing you all again next.

Well, enjoy looking forward. Yes. Okay.

If it makes you happy, do it.

The lovely cows. Very nice.

It's time to say good bye.

If you've enjoyed this, whatever it was,

I'm back with you on Wednesday from 2 p.m.

UK time with you on Wednesday Mr.

Steve might be with us.

I'm not sure to be honest.

I don't know. He hasn't said. He hasn't told me.

So I might be here on Wednesday by myself. Mr.

Steve might also be with you.

Does it make any difference?

I am thinking not. Thank you for watching.

There are two parts to this live stream.

The first half an hour and then this

after our slight technical difficulty.

Thanks for watching c Wednesday.

Have a good week. Enjoy the rest of your day.

This is Mr.

Duncan in the birthplace of the English language.

Shall I do it again?

Okay, I'll do it one more time.

In England

saying

thanks for watching C on Wednesday and of course, until the next time we meet here.

You know what's coming next.

Yes, you do...

ta ta for now.