What is a PUN? / English Addict 108 - LIVE chat / Sun 9th August 2020 / Listen and learn

are we on oh dear well if you haven't already noticed we

are a little bit late today for which i apologise but at least

we are here here we are again yes it is another english addict live

from the birthplace of english which just happens to be

england

you know doing this is not easy there are moments when you just want to walk

away and keep walking forever and ever

and ever today was one of those moments here we are anyway hi everybody this is

mr duncan in england how are you today are you okay i hope so are you happy

i really hope you are feeling happy today i'm okay

not too bad can not complain i suppose 2020 when

will 2020 come to an end am i the only person who is feeling completely

and utterly tired of 2020. i'm sick of saying it to be

honest i'm i'm tired of hearing people say

2020 if i was completely honest with you anyway here we are i'm back with you

and yes we have made it all the way to the end

of the weekend you can still relax you can still take it easy because it's

sunday

oh dear it really does feel like sunday it

really does i feel like i want to go back to bed for

some reason don't ask me why i have no idea why but

i really feel like i would love to be back in bed if you haven't already

noticed we are out in the garden today this is not a green screen just to prove

look i'm going to walk into my background

very nice

just to prove that we are live and i am in the garden right now

i hope you are having a good sunday wherever you are in the world

mr steve went to see his mother today yesterday not today

can anyone hear a chicken is it my imagination

can i hear a chicken

is it my imagination is that really happening right now

it's not my cockerel is it let me just check

it's not my cockerel no i think it's someone else's

how strange here we go then yes it's sunday it's a fun day it's time

to improve your english i hope you are feeling all right

i i have a few things going on at the moment in my life

not not least of all the fact that next week i will be

another year older i will be another year older and i was talking to steve

about this a few moments ago and i was saying how

strange how strange it feels to be approaching

a certain age so on wednesday this wednesday

it will be my birthday but for some reason i don't know why this year i

don't feel quite so happy about my birthday i don't

know why it seems to be resting very heavily on

my shoulders and also in my mind and i don't know why

it's very strange i have no idea why anyway enough of my

problems i'm sure you have your own things

to think about as well enough of me by the way if you want to catch my live

english lessons and also my live streams you can catch me on sunday wednesday and

friday from 2pm uk time that is when i am with you on

youtube 2pm uk time

i am asked so many times mr duncan when are you on

when can i catch your live stream 2 p.m uk time sunday wednesday friday

i think maybe i should just permanently have the times and days

when i'm live on the screen just all the time even though the details are

also underneath as well you see they they are

underneath this video also if you want to have live captions

you are more than welcome to do so you can click if you want on

this click on see and yes you will have live

captions

what a crazy couple of days i've had i can't begin to tell you how crazy

everything has been recently it really has

2020 we cannot wait to see the back of you we really can't

if you want to see the back of something it means you want to see it go

you want to see it disappear you want to see it

vanish you want to see it

go

excuse me

i can definitely hear a chicken there is a chicken

it's either in my head or it's real can anyone else hear a chicken i hope so

oh we have the live chat oh thank goodness for that i have something else

to talk about besides chickens we have the live

chat oh hello everyone on the live chat nice to see you here as well

congratulations vitas wow vitas you are having a great week

not only are you the latest moderator you are also the first person on today's

live chat

do i seem distracted i think so do you ever have one of those days where

you feel very distracted by things that's what i feel at the

moment i'm feeling very distracted

i might just go back to bed to be honest i might it's it's turning out to be a

very strange period of time for me i don't know why

oh hello mary hello waffee hello unicarina

thank you very much for joining me today some people say that this is easy

some people say mr duncan what you do is so easy you just

stand in front of the camera and talk can i just say this is not easy this

might be one of the hardest things that you

ever have to do in your life and that is stand

in front of a camera live talking and that's what we're doing today oh

hello from france hello lolly lolly a big bonjour

to you as well unfortunately i don't have my

echo today we are talking about puns it's an interesting word

puns what is a pun

means a word that is used in a humorous way

other than its usual use however quite often we will slip it into

a sentence or into a joke so a pun is a joke that

is using a word in an unusual way or in a humorous way

we will talk about that a little bit later on we also have mr steve here

as well it would not be sunday without mr steve it really would not

hello also maria maria i'm saying hello to maria

hello everybody hello alessandra hello also to beatrice

hello oh we have some new people on hello

just variation i think you've been here before haven't you

your name seems slightly familiar just variation hello amina

as well hello amina nice to see you here

there are some very strange conversations taking place on the live

chat i think everyone everyone is going

slightly crazy during this period of time and i think

it might be happening to me i think this is it i think this is how

it starts you just start to feel as if you're

you're losing control of everything around you

so maybe it's happening to me right now you're missing steve says bella hello

bella nice to see you here as well it feels

feels like a long time since i said hello to you also hello

bella nice to see you as well

now last week we were talking about the english language in fact we were talking

about origins of certain words and also the

way in which they're used i thought it would be interesting to

play a video now i was going to show this

last week but i didn't have time so we are going to take a look at a

video where i talk all about the origins of

the english language and then hopefully in a few moments we will be back with

you and yes mr steve will be here

oh by the way also later we are going to play the sentence game

oh so lots of things still to come today don't go away

hi everybody this is mr duncan in england how are you today

are you okay i hope so are you happy i hope so i have a question for

you when is an english word not an english

word when it's a foreign word used both

inside and outside the language in today's

lesson we are going to look at those words that may

sound foreign to non-english speakers but are commonly used by

many native speakers every day in some cases without them even

realizing it confused not for much longer

i hope as we take a look at what i like to call

for english the english language has become one of

the most spoken in the world it has been described by some as a

global language over the years it has been viewed as a

language of freedom and a symbol of oppression its use is

still on the increase and remains an ever dominating medium on

the world stage having said that to describe english as

a unique language would be a misnomer as we will be

finding out today even modern spoken english regularly

contains words taken straight from other languages

some examples of which we will take a close look at

later but first let's take a close look at how it all started

with a brief history of the english language

the english language was formed in four distinctive stages

in its original form we usually refer to it as

old english this is the earliest form of the language which was created between

500 and 1100 a.d by the invaders of ancient

britain from southern denmark and jetland who

were known as the angles the angles along with the saxons and

jutes spoke a language which in modern times

became known as old english the word english comes from

angles the land of angles which is where we get

england you could also see this influence in the french word

langleter there were four distinctive dialects of old english

northumbrian mercian west saxon and kentish all of which were related to

the different regions of early england which still

exists today as northumbria murcia wessex

and kent

the next big change came with the norman conquest

led by william the conqueror who invaded england in 1066 a.d

with this invasion came a new language this time the integration of the french

language occurred which formed into what we now call

middle english through the changes caused by the

realignment of power the language of latin was also

integrated into english the romancing of the english language

was by then well underway in fact the roman

influence had occurred earlier albeit in a small way after the

introduction of christianity to england during the 7th

century it is worth noting that even at this

time the english spoken bore very little resemblance to the language

we use today but its influence on modern english

cannot be ignored a large portion of modern english words

are in essence foreign words which came into being

during the early invasions by the anglo-saxons and the vikings

from 1204 a.d a division formed this was due to the fall of normandy and

king john to the king of france this caused a division between france

and the english normans the ruling class by this time were known

as the nobles the next big change occurred after the

great plague which wiped out a huge portion of the

population and led to a surge in the so-called

laboring class these events led to another surge in the

use of english as a common language middle english had taken hold of the

country and would go on to develop yet again into what we now refer to as

early modern english with this came the period known as the renaissance

it signaled the birth of modern literature philosophy

and science which would go on to shape not only this country

but also many parts of the world from this would come what we now refer to as

modern english

people often ask me why i'm so fascinated by a language i have spoken

all my life and use daily why am i not bored of

hearing english spoken all the time this would be a fair question

my love of english comes from not just how it is used but from how it came into

being used english is more than a language it is an

essence of all which came before it carries with it traditions thoughts

and ways of living from over the past 900

years the changes that have occurred indelibly

left their marks on this language as wars and invasions were carried out

and attitudes altered so the language

changed too the marks left by the romans

anglo-saxons vikings and the many rulers of this

country ever since have shaped the way in which english is

used right up to this very day the historical impact of english remains

with us new countries were formed through this

language sometimes by choice and sometimes not the modern use of

english does more than merely allow dialogue to take

place it gives us a common ground it serves as

a means for us to understand each other as i have said before whether we agree

or disagree with each other is irrelevant the important thing is

that we are all

talking

oh did you enjoy that i hope so there it was

i think i might just go back to bed to be honest so for those wondering about

the history of the english language there was the history of the english

language in in around about seven minutes wow

that's incredible a thousand years of english in seven

minutes

i am really thinking of going to bed

oh there he is everybody yes a round of applause please

hello mr duncan hello mr steve how are you today

how am i i'm terrible i am having a terrible day

wow i can't begin to tell you how bad my day is going but i know that there

are people in the world who are having far

worse days so i shouldn't complain even though i really want to i want to

complain so much i want to climb to the highest mountain or maybe get

onto the roof of the house and i want to

shout all of my complaints well i will make you a nice cup of tea

and uh toast to a tea cake that sounds good in about

an hour and 20 minutes i like the sound of that

to be honest and uh well i think it's going to be a good week though isn't it

mr duncan it really is isn't there a special event

coming up this week i'm not sure if it's special that's one

of that's one of the reasons why i'm feeling down today to be honest i mean

it's my birthday on wednesday but for some reason i don't know why this year i

feel strange about it i i was talking to you earlier wasn't i

i'm way away from here but i was talking to

steve yes we do talk sometimes when we're not

on here deep meaningful conversations deep

conversations about the meaning of life but i was thinking yes on wednesday

i'm another year older but the thing is it seems weird this year because i

suddenly feel as if i'm approaching

old age it's very strange do you think about it mr duncan you're actually

another year older today as well compared to this time last year

so it's just a number yes i know but trying to make you feel better it's not

necessarily the number but it's just that feeling because

now i'm starting to remember in my childhood when when relatives

were the same age as me so i can remember when my grandparents

were approaching the age that i'm approaching

that's really weird that does feel strange

so i'm now approaching that age really i didn't know you were that old

mr duncan well you don't know what i'm talking what do

you must know what i'm on about too late for me to

find somebody else well when i was a child but when you're a child your grand

your grandparents are not are not 90 are they

they're in their late 50s or early 60s and then suddenly you find yourself in

the situation where you are approaching that same age but it's just dawned on me

it seems strange well you dawned on me that you're

getting old mr duncan yes and i'm still looking young and youthful well i'm not

about looks

i need to evaluate everything in my life now that you suddenly

made it very aware to me that i'm actually

living with somebody who's getting on in years yes whereas i'm still

youthful in my 30s well that doesn't make sense because you're you're older

than me i know i'm only joking steve is older

than me but but so so you have one next year you

have a birthday next year which might be described

no i've got no birthday coming nothing significant i'm 30.

aren't i next year 30. well i wish i was so on wednesday it's my

it's my birthday but i really don't feel good about it it's strange i don't think

i've ever had ever even when i when i was 50

it didn't really bother me strange i i became

50 and i thought that's nothing it doesn't feel that bad but

for some reason this wednesday my birthday this wednesday makes me

feel a little strange because i'm starting to realize that

i remember my grandparents so not my parents but my grandparents

being the age that i'm sort of approaching i know i'm you know five

years away from it but i will be 55

on on wednesday 55 you don't look it mr dumb but that's i don't care

about looking it i don't care if i look it or not maybe

we should ask our lovely viewers who are as you know approaching this difficult

age well i wouldn't say it's difficult it's not difficult for everyone i know

well maybe we could get advice from maybe people please give mr duncan some

some advice some words of support and comfort

it's just strange during this difficult time nothing's going to help me

trust me no words of comfort or support are going to help me because it just

feels it feels weird and i'm one of those people who feels things in a very

strange way sometimes things that seem like nothing to other

people affect me deeply and and sometimes it's

very hard to explain it and this is one of those things that's really affected

me over the past couple of days i've been

thinking about being 55 54

nothing it's like water off a duck's back

55 i'm thinking oh that's strange because i remember when

my grandparents were were in their late 50s in 60s in their

early 60s so suddenly i'm approaching that age

back then people looked older it doesn't work like that

your grandparents seemed older than their years didn't they

because i think they led hard lives life was tougher there yes i i still

don't think anyone's understanding what i'm on about

it's not it's not that you don't want to get old

no it isn't even that it's bizarre isn't the number

no it's it's the correlation i'm on about the correlation

of of my young years i hope someone understands what i mean

yes and now and i remember i remember my grandparents

so that's what i'm trying to express my grandparents

i remember them being this old but

the passage of time occurs so slowly and gradually we don't really

appreciate it and suddenly we're in that position

that's what you're saying no it's nothing to do with that what are you

saying then it is is my my perception

as a child of someone who was this age was like they were ancient

and old so it was really the perception so so i i'm now aware that people will

look at me so if a person who is i don't know

16 or 20 and they look at me they are going oh 55 oh that's like my

grandparents that's like an old person and that's the bit i think

that's the part of it so you think that people are looking at

you and saying you're old enough to be my grandparent i

think it's really that the cold fact so it's just the actual fact

of it that i can remember in my own life looking at people of this age that

i'm at now in thinking oh that's old i wonder what it's like

being that old and certain and now here i am i'm about

to cross some sort of strange threshold as i'm

now five years away from being 60 i mean that that just

even saying it sounds weird it it it's going into my ear and my brain is

going what what are you talking about you idiot

you're not five years off 60 but i am in i can remember my grandparents

being that old and it's very weird it's a very weird

feeling little makes a nice comment here okay

most people now are living to a hundred hmm so you're only halfway through it

that does not comfort me nothing will come for you mr duncan will

it let's just let's face it that's uh what's going on here my i i

seem to be bursting a state of undress what's going on here

with this shirt i don't know what's happening appearing in such a such a

disgraceful state in front of your lovely pupils i've just realized

that i'm i'm naked under this shirt well it's it's too

warm to be wearing anything underneath mr duncan it is uh it's far too hot and

muggy today can you believe it i've got through today's live stream without

mentioning the weather at all and and now we're going to

mention it it's hot i feel like i'm in the jungle it's like

a tropical rainforest here it's so humid we are having some of the

most bizarre weather last night

maybe last night or the night before as well it was

it was about 23 24 degrees overnight that's a lot for us that's high that's

tropical it's high for us it's bizarre it's very very weird what

are we talking about today mr duncan we like to know we are subjects

we are talking offer we are talking about

puns do you know what a pun is it's it's a something humorous isn't it

yes it's a humorous play on words so you take a word you take

some some word and what you do is you you put in put a

humorous spin on the words so you might say that

a pun is word playing so you are playing

with words so sometimes you will take a word and you will use it

in another sentence in a different way a different way or or with a different

context of some sort so pun is just

a play on a word you take a word and you will try to associate it with

something else but it is done in a humorous way

can you show us an example mr duncan i'm sure you have

examples set up for us to okay here's a good example here's an example of a pun

pun p u n you can see it above me pun so people

like to make puns that's what you do you see you make a

joke you make a pun you come up with a funny joke

using words so here's one steve

what sweet food do music composers like what sweet food

do music composers like so this is actually a pun

so remember that we are using a word that that is kind of making a joke by

being used in another way so is it a word that

has two meanings yes or of course it can be just a word that's said in a certain

way so it's not always spelt the same either

so don't forget that it's not just a word that is spelt

exactly the same way sometimes it might be

another word that is given a different meaning

as well so it's it's upon it is it seems simple but it isn't

it's not a basic simple thing it's actually quite complex

so that is what i'm trying to get across today we are trying to get across the

the puns let's see the answer mr duncan and then maybe we can

maybe we can understand further so that's why i'm showing this one

just to give you an example of a pun so what sweet

food do music composers like what's sweet food

so so think of think of what we're talking about there we're talking about

music composers so something to do with music

and it's sweet yes or of course composers

all right obviously so that's where the joke is

so the actual joke is relying on sweet food and music

composers so what you're looking for there is a word

or maybe a famous composer

whose name sounds like something sweet you see yes it's a good one i like this

one so this is what i thought up this

morning in my tiny little brain i see this is something that you've uh

discovered or made up yourself i've i've made it myself using my tiny

brain so clever he's so clever i wish i don't even know

what iota means tell us the answer mr duncan

i didn't know that iota is the ninth letter of the greek

alphabet i didn't know that no so now i am officially stupid apparently

because we only know there's only a few greek uh letters that

we tend to know so unless you're a greek scholar you

probably wouldn't know the answer to it well what's interesting

is in the united states of course what they do is they have

they have they use as i understand it they use the greek alphabet

for their for their house names in university

their varsity names oh right now i might be wrong there because we don't do that

here we don't have that sort of thing here

you see anyone don't know much about uh the greek alphabet in this country i

would say unless you're classically trained you

might say it's all greek to me that's that is a phrase that we use yes

here to mean something we don't really have any comprehension or

understanding about something confusing when when maybe you

read it or something you listen to and you don't understand it

you might say it's all greek to me anyway here is our pun

what sweet food has anyone actually uh well beethoven is a composer uh

beethoven it isn't beethoven i've never heard of a food called

beethoven you could i thought of one what what

vegetables do music composers like oh well shall we do this one first that

could be beet oven oh yeah as in beetroot

i've just made one up mr so let's see what it is so that people get an idea of

what we're doing okay then you could have said what composer do do

people take fishing with them and you could say

beethoven you see because bait you put bait on the

end of your fishing rod so that i just made that up instantly

that that's it bob we're trying to yes faster mr duncan maybe i'm not as

stupid as i think here we go then ready yes

schubert ah you see schubert which sounds like

sherbet yes you see there you see what we did

you see sweet powder that you sherbet yes so sherbet is is white

powder isn't it yes it's a very it's well it's sweet and it's very sour as

well at the same time so what sweet food do music composers

like they like sherbet because it sounds like

schubert the composer shubert c it also sounds like sherbet

the sweet confectionery that children often eat which ruins

their teeth yes so schubert so we're looking for a

word that yes as you say it sounds like something else but it's also

got a double meaning at the same time yes and sometimes the

spelling is different you are still using that word in a

humorous way so even though schubert is not spelt the

same as sherbet it still works because it sounds

close that's it it sounds close to it like my beethoven you see

my beethoven joke so what which composer or what composer do

people who go fishing enjoy and you could say

beethoven because they use bait even though the spelling of the word is

completely different so the pun works in that way

what about i can think of another one around beethoven mr duncan

okay then well but that's the answer though isn't it

that's not really the pun well you could use the the last phrase

oven to sound like oven yes and you could say what do uh what do

uh composers like to cook their cakes in in in the bait oven in the bait oven yes

you see that that's a that's a pun yeah sounds like

beethoven but it's bait oven bella says that

bella says you're wrong because the schubert is spelt different

i think i just explained that didn't i it doesn't always have to you see

sometimes you use words that aren't spelled the same

so you are still making the joke so a pun is not

always the word being spelt exactly the same maybe also the way you pronounce it

or say it so what sweet food i can't believe we're

doing this for so long i've got about 20 more what sweet food

do music composers like sherbet you see schubert it's

it's doesn't have yeah as long as it sounds the same and that's the joke

yes right let's have another one again get people an idea

of what we're doing i thought that would be a good idea but

need a few more i think i think we need about another hundred so here's another

one it's a difficult concept to to grasp it

is even for us and i'm explaining it

here we go steve ah so another pun word playing playing on words either the

spelling or the pronunciation okay so this one is not a question this

one is actually just an actual sentence so you will see

the sentence and then we will explain why it is a pun

are you ready the owners of a savory preserve factory were caught

avoiding tax and now they are in a pickle you see

what was that that was a fake laugh okay that's brilliant i could do with some

real laughter to be honest let's get some real laughter

can we have some real laughter

yes so uh yes you can see that what's going on there can't you

so in that particular example of a pun which i'm sure will be back on the

screen very shortly there it is uh so a savory preserve factory so

savory preserves if we need to explain that

yes it's normally something that is preserved maybe a type of vegetable

or something that is preserved in vinegar it could be sauerkraut

it could be a pickled onion yes it could be a pickle

some kind of pickle well yeah that's it i'm just explaining that's what that is

so savoury preserve is something that is preserved

in vinegar maybe a vegetable so of course

you would describe that as pickle a pickle is a type of savory preserve

yes so so it is another way of saying that exact word

savory preserve pickle if you pickle something like an onion

you put it in vinegar and it preserves it pickling preserves something

in vinegar so the pun is also the word pickle

so pickle can also mean a difficult situation or an

awkward situation so the owners of the savory preserve

factory the people who make the savory preserve

have been caught avoiding tax and now they are

in a pickle because if you don't pay your tax

you will get into a difficult situation with the government

and so you would be in a pickle a difficult situation but pickle also

means a savory preserve so that's the joke

yes so you can see now how the word play is used i don't think schubert was a

good example but i thought it was it made me laugh anyway i was laughing

this morning when i was sitting on the toilet i was having a right good laugh

the owners of a savory preserve factory so what we're saying there is pickle

factory you see so that's why you see but you never give

the answer away you normally use an alternative word or sentence

to make the joke appear at the end so that is really how a pun

works so you can see that there is an interesting construction

taking place here you give a clue to what the joke is without saying it

which of course makes the actual pun more

humorous quite often you get these sort of jokes

in a in a christmas cracker yes so when you're pulling a cracker at christmas

uh or well let's not say christmas let's say celebration

pulling a cracker inside there will be a plastic toy

and uh a joke and quite often they're puns yes so there we there will

be a play on words so yes i think that's quite a good one

a common prank that some some kids do is they will phone one of their

neighbors and they will they will ask them

is your is your fridge is your refrigerator running and then

the person says yes and then they say you better hurry up

and catch it then you see that is also a pun

so you are saying running means functioning

but of course running also means running away

moving away normally on foot so yes so that's how a pun works

okay let's have a look at another one uh we're getting into it now steve we are

i think we're finding it now people are talking about seinfeld for some reason

because of the laughter oh i see we have hand at last the canned

laughter so i will press that again even though

it makes everything disappear here we go here's the can laughter

that's it we could do with lots of that today to be honest

we could do with lots maybe later canned laughter if i was honest so let's put

those back up here's another one would you like another pun okay

oh it's a question what does a dog in long trousers do on a hot day

what does a joke okay yes it's a pun it's a joke but it's a pun so we are

using we're using a word that can have more than one meaning what

does a dog in long trousers do on a hot day

we'll give you 30 seconds to come up with some

suitable answers it's got to be funny yes

and it's got to be a play on words yes is it a word that's got

two meanings yes right okay well the clue is actually there

the the clue is literally staring in the face that's another thing about puns

quite often the answer to the pun if it's a question

is is actually normally staring you in the face

so dog think of dog long trousers hot day

a hot dog wearing long trousers so so it's there it's like

a it's like a beacon going but you just need to sometimes you

can't just think of it it's not obvious unless you think about

it yes what does a dog in long trousers do

on a hot day um

i'm i'm trying to think what what would you do take them off

uh but there's nothing funny in that in that

uh yes someone said hot dog hot dog but what does the dog do

not what is he no not what it is called what he would be hot he would be a hot

dog yes but what's he going to do he's actually going to do something that's

funny that is a pun yes and then the clue is

is in the whole thing the whole thing is giving you the answer this is actually

quite a good one i like this one because it's really

it really does define the essence of of what a pun is what does a dog

in long trousers do on a hot day

well mr duncan i don't want to come up with the answer yet no

here we go then we might have some laughter as well shall we have some

laughter when i give the answer well somebody just said it's very

contagious to have uh sound effect laughter i think so as well

i agree the answer is

oh dear i like this one what does a dog in long trousers do on a hot day

mr steve are you ready for the answer it pants ah you see it

pants pants because trousers pants is another word for

trousers yes so

that's a panting dog yes so the trousers are pants and the dog when it's hot

it pants so that the word pant means to breathe

heavily and deeply quite often a dog will do

that when it's hot so this actually is quite a clever

pun this is like opening a safe you have to listen to the combination

you see it's like it's like turning the the dial on the

safe you're trying to to unlock the pun

what does a dog in long trousers do on a hot day it pants

you see i think few people are having having

a little difficulty understanding this so maybe you know a few more

yeah we will we you might you'll get the hang of it maybe it's the way i'm saying

it but maybe you do something i wonder if

in other languages the same thing happens where you've got

words that may be spelt differently but sound the same or just one word with

several meanings and you turn it into a joke they're just

it's just a joke but we call them puns i think you can

i think you can actually have yes them in other languages as well so i think

i think they do exist definitely i i'm pretty sure they exist

maybe it's the way i'm saying it what does a dog in long trousers do on a hot

day it pants

maybe that's it maybe it's better when i have the can laughter

let's see another one mr duncan should i have another one yes

ah here's another one

what did the bowl say to the sexy plate oh yes you see again the answer

yes do to the sexy plate yes so think again the answer is right

there it is actually there staring right at

you the answer but again the pun is using words

what did the bowl say to the sexy plate so it's already funny even

before we've got the answer because you've got the concept going on that the

bowls and plates are somehow admiring each other that's

it and seeing each other as attractive

which is funny in itself yes many puns are actually abstract

so you might find that that you will use abstract

situations when you are making a pun so here's a good example of an abstract

pun what did the bowl say to the sexy plate

so think carefully what's happening there you have a bowl

and you have a plate that is looking very

sexy which obviously is ridiculous in itself because there's

no such thing as a sexy plate but you can imagine in your mind what

you're picturing is a bowl that is looking at a plate and finding

it attractive and that's funny even before

you've got the answer to the joke i've seen some sexy plates i've seen

some sexy spoons have you ever seen a very sexy spoon

it's sort of oh hello must have a bowl is something you

eat out of a bowl bowl it's a it's a ball it's a bowl it's

like that it's normally made of pottery or wood of

course eat your cereal or your soup out of a bowl bowl

so it is a thing for eating from normally soup

or maybe your morning cereal or in mr steve's case

in mr steve's case his porridge you see which is

cereal seriously yes uh so what's the answer mr duncan i can't

think well the answer is what did the bowl say

to the sexy plate so it must be a word that's somehow connected with uh

i would imagine it's something to do with plates or

or cutlery or it's going to be related to

to that those other two objects isn't it so what have we got

bowl we've got plates yes and sexy you see sexy is the

you know something attractive something that looks nice you go

yes tomic you're right you do you've got to have

you know quite a high level of english maybe and a

high vocabulary to maybe but you know this is all education yes it's

not really a test i'm not testing your english we are

actually talking about the concept of jokes and puns

so normally these will come very quickly you see

people tell puns or tell jokes very quickly so we are going slowly

through them to show how they are constructed people

are having a go hmm yes that's good yes

but not yeah that's good and arita says are we a couple oh

you see are we is that a pun not not necessarily in that case but yes

i know what you mean i know what you're saying here we go

then are you ready for the answer even mr steve doesn't know i thought you

would get it to be honest i'm not very good at thinking on my feet

what did the bowl say to the sexy plate

you are quite a dish ah oh yes that deserves some laughter i think

it would work the other way around as well what did the plate say to the

sexy bowl it would work the other way around

so a dish is is another form of something that you could eat out of um

well a plate you see this is where again you have to explain the meanings well

plate can also be a dish you see so a plate can also be described as a

dish we can also use the generic term dish for anything that we eat from

so that is one thing to bear in mind so this

again is a little bit more complicated because you are using

a word that can be used in more than one way so a plate

is a flat thing that you eat from and the bowl is something that

looks like that however they can both be described

as dishes yes which which is a generic term

so that word dish can be used in many ways

including when you say something is attractive

you can say someone is oh what a dish quite often a male maybe a man maybe a

woman is looking at a man or maybe a man is looking at another man

going oh oh what a dish oh look at him

oh he's he's quite a dish yes it means an attractive man doesn't it

so in this pun in this joke what did the bowl

say to the sexy plate you are quite a dish and of course when we say

and of course a bowl and a plate are both dishes

because when you wash the dishes you're washing

cups that's it plates bowls anything made of crockery like

that so that's why it's generic it's a generic so the word dish can be

used in more than one way as as a generic term for anything you

eat from or of course a plate can also be

described as a dish so you hand someone a dish normally it's

flat with a slight shallow center

sometimes you you cook things in the oven on a dish

maybe a baking dish or or a stewing dish something that you can put food on

they've got these in italy a couple of people have mentioned that and they're

also they're called uh freddie

i don't know if i pronounce that correctly but the puns in italian is

is fragile so thanks for that good thank you very much for that that's very

kind of you what dishes are you mr duncan and mr steve says bella

thank you you could have just said you're a couple of dishes

i think i'm a chamber pot something something was biting me there mr duncan

it wasn't me i know it was some kind of insect if i

was a type of dish or a piece of pottery

maybe i would be a chamber pot that people put under their bed and they

have a little wee-wee inside it during the night

what i don't know really so what did the bowl say to the sexy plate

you are quite a dear

you see there you go i wonder if people are getting sick and tired of

hearing the laughter here we go then here's another one

another question steve will we be playing the sentence game yes

we will be and we are playing with where is it

we are playing with the letter m m for mr steve you see oh mr duncan or mr

duncan m so not w i know some people might think it's w if

you're standing on your head at the moment maybe you are standing up

standing on your head it's not w today it's actually m

so you have to put yourself the right way round or turn your monitor

upside down and then you will see it properly so

so there it is m m for mother you went to see your mother

yesterday i did did you have a good time yes yes i did

of course i did how do elephants phone each other

how do elephants phone each other so these are

when you when you talk about puns as jokes like this they're

they're intentionally bad jokes sometimes a pun is bad so you might not

laugh you might just go oh but it's still funny because it's

creating a bit of humor they're almost you almost know the

answers when people hear the answers to puns

they normally go oh

and then laugh a bit yes it's just it's just

helps with conversa you know it's just funny just

a bit of humor yes so how do elephants phone each other

ah i think i know the answer to this one yeah so the clue

once again the clue is right there and that's the wonderful thing about

puns quite often if you're you're asking a person

a question and it involves making a pun quite often it is right in front of you

how do elephants elephants

phone phone each other how do elephants phone each other so

it's there you see the answer is already there

and sometimes you have to just tune in people have got it oh okay that's good

that was quick that didn't seem like a 30-second delay maybe it was on the

screen for a while it was on the screen for some time

andy's got it lena's got it well done

i think yeah

yes so quite a few people yeah i've got the yeah

so elephants obviously have let's give the answer shall we mr duncan i think

it's out there i think this is getting boring

everyone's saying for goodness sake mr duncan stop doing this

here's the answer and i'm hoping we have some laughter as well

oh yes i'm making a trunk of course that's a popular one to turn up in a

christmas cracker yeah how do elephants phone each other by

making a trunk call obviously they've got trunks

but a type of telephone call is also called a trunk call

but of course we don't really use that phrase anymore it's a very

outdated phrase yes to talk about uh telephoning somebody yeah i don't know

what a trunk call used to i think it was like was it like long distance that's it

you had to be you had to be put through on an

extension so if you if you wanted to phone someone

abroad or long distance they would have to connect you in a

certain way so a trunk call would be extended so trunk

just means extend so something that is truncated

is lengthened hence the elephant's trunk you see i think i'm demonstrating that

very well with my hand do you like that i've already done it

but you can almost see the trunk coming from my face so it's something

that it's like an extension so if you you can have so a trunk call would have

been in the past as you say you'd have had to some lady

sitting at a con at a at a desk would have had to plug

something in to make it go further and extend the call to a longer distance

yes not necessarily through an exchange

though sometimes you just press a number on your phone

and it will extend or maybe a code you see

so now we have dialing codes which allow us to

phone long distance but in the past you couldn't do that

and it also can you remember steve when phoning abroad

was horrendously expensive if you phoned so for example if you live here

in in england and you wanted to phone

australia in the 1970s it would cost

a fortune per minute it would be an eye-watering amount of money wouldn't

it it would be so there it is a trunk call

of course trunking trunking if you've got trunking that's

something that contains something isn't it so like a

trunking for electrical wires yes it's long it's a

long extension it goes it goes along the wall or the side of

the wall and the wires are hidden inside

trunk that was like for an extension so there you go so i hope i hope you're

getting the hang of this yes uh any more

um

oh carlos has said hey carlos very good carlos another

answer could be on the elephone yeah i like that

that's done that you know what that deserves that deserves

that's proper that's proper that is you've just made up a very good i like

that pun there

sounds like telephone but it's elephone yes yeah you could have said uh

yeah how do elephants vote each other on the elephone

yeah well done here we go congratulations when you win says i hate

this live stream

it's always hate is a very strong word it's always nice to hear from the fans

it's a very strong word i hate this live stream

first i wasn't the person who is chatting with you on the live chat

then everyone doesn't realize that i am very

respected to learn grammar and new words i don't know why you're so annoyed

how are we annoying you i know normally we are quite annoying

at the best of times but yes we're all here we're all here to learn

everyone is sharing the experience when you walk down the road when you

walk down the high street in your town does everyone give you a

round of applause as you walk down the road

well no it doesn't happen you see because that doesn't happen

because we're all pretty much the same no one here is more special

than anyone else including us we are just

human beings walking around on the planet like little ants

on a hill you see so so we're not we're not any better

so so you don't have to accuse us of leaving people out

i don't know why we seem to be i was i was attacked the other day

it's very difficult because the live stream is very busy and we're

trying to talk i was attacked difficult to keep an eye on

all everything everyone's saying and if we commented on

everything everybody said that's all we do yes but maybe

maybe you're doing it for attention in which case it's worked

you see you've got our attention but please don't criticize it

is going okay see your palm here we're going to see you on wednesday

wednesday yes we are here on wednesday because on wednesday

something happening on wednesday mr duncan it's my birthday on wednesday

okay we have oh we have some more puns and then we are going to play the

sentence game the sentence game is coming up please

don't shout at me a lot of people saying they're loving this live stream

it's just for that yes i i know i i know i'm not sexy

i know i don't have beautiful pert breasts

my pardon mr duncan this is what people want you see apparently on youtube

what people want now on youtube they want sexy people

they don't want us they wouldn't they don't want to stare at two

moldy old men speak for yourself they want to see glamorous women with

lipstick well maybe we could drag up yes well i don't think that would help

the situation it'd be interesting it would not help the situation

i think we would lose everyone if you drag up yes

that means a man dressing as a woman yes that's not going to do that don't worry

yeah let's not go okay steve let's not go there because that is

explaining what it meant because yes i know but let's not let's not go there

it's 2020 2020 and everyone everyone is

hypersensitive you can't you can't make a joke anymore

unless unless of course it's a pun maybe uh

isn't it isn't saying he hates it just just sort of

not liking it as much and let's move on to when you win

is the name in vietnam i don't know why well stay on for the sentence game uh

because that will be maybe more to your liking

yes here's here's another one steve please don't go away okay then because

we love you i'll be going away in a minute

here's here's another one steve oh hit steve

there's a penny i can't afford to pay for the watch in one go

i can't afford to pay for the watch in one go so you've got an expensive

watch it's expensive you can't in one go means in one time yes it once

at once so i can't pay all the money in one go in one payment

so maybe i will have to pay you a little bit of money

each time you see like when i bought you this watch

it was an expensive watch i couldn't afford to pay for it all in one go

i had to pay for it yes so ah right what's the next bit of the sentence then

yes well it's a pin so it's not a question there is another

bit that's what i mean that's it well what is it so

i can't afford to pay for the watch in one go i can't pay for all of it now

what's the answer is it one word no it's it's the rest of the sentence so

difficult mr duncan well i'm going to show you in a minute

all right well i'm just giving a little bit of time

or else yes this will be the shortest live stream ever

hello everyone goodbye i can't afford to pay for the watch in

one go faster mr duncan faster i can't afford

to pay for it all at once here comes the

the pun is coming steve are you ready for the it's a it's a funny one

you don't have to guess this one that you're just going to tell us

well you can guess it if you want i kind of want to play with watching one go

um i'm strapped for cash that's actually quite good strapped for

cash yeah so you've got a watch with a that's

the strap well there it is there's a real watch

the strap and if you're strapped for cash it means that you don't have very

much money yes so that would work but that's not

the answer not the answer you've got i can't i can't afford to pay

for the watch in one go here comes the pun yes

can i have it on tick ah you see did you like that that's a joke well

i can't afford to pay for the watch in one go can i have it on tick

but that's it that may be a difficult word for people to know what that means

well it doesn't matter because i can explain

it i mean that's what we're here to do explain so if i show you a word that you

don't know i will explain it so what we are doing

here steve well i'll let you explain okay so watch ticks doesn't it tick tick

tick tick tick but if you if you uh buy something and

this is an old-fashioned phrase have it on tick it means that you're

you're borrowing money you're having it on credit

would be another word for that so can i have it on tick can i have it

on credit so can you maybe pay it on installments

yes something every month you're not going to pay for it all at once so have

it on tick is an old-fashioned word for meaning uh can i have it on credit

and then pay for it or can i have it on installment

yes well nowadays it's it's the normal thing to do isn't it

we we buy everything without actually paying for it so credit is actually

something it's it's probably more common now than it

was in the past so if you have something on tick it

means you are having you are being allowed to pay it in small

amounts over a certain period of time we used to call it hp higher purchase

higher purchase as well here in england so that was a

phrase that we used to use but credit now is normal

and of course it's very cheap isn't it now credit because um

you know you can buy things on naught percent interest now

uh buying a mortgage now is very cheap i mean in the 1980s 1990s

it was you know you'd be paying six eight maybe twelve percent interest on

your mortgage it's now one and a half two percent i like the

way this is suddenly become a financial habit on

tick means to not pay for it all at once to have it

on credit that's what it means so that so the pun the joke is the word

tick tick of a clock or a watch tick to have something on tick means you

have it on credit yes and uh bella just to just to expand on what you

said there if if you're strapped for cash

it does mean that you have little little money you haven't got very much

at the moment somebody might say can i borrow 10

pounds off you please and you might say i'm sorry i can't at the moment i'm

strapped for cash and it means that you don't have enough

spare money to lend your friend ten pounds it's

quite a common phrase here that's it i've just put it on the live chat so

it's on there now forever and ever so i have actually put it onto the live

joke there would be because a watch has a strap

strap i'm strapped for cash so you would possibly not laugh or you

go no and that wouldn't you but it would be

sort of funny uh and lewis has made a lovely comment to help support

you mr duncan lewis says don't think about the end of

your life live every day one after another and

make a smile every day when you wake up that's that's

the part i'm looking forward to the most i have done the same thing and i'm

always happy the the end of my life is is the bit that

you know it might be a nice you know i might be ready for it i might be

thinking oh for goodness sake i've had enough of this

but you're normally very positive mr duncan i am positive

yeah yes think about you you wake up you're alive

make the most of what you do i do you do but it's strange how louis is saying

that's what hit me this week what hit me was my own memory

of remembering my grandparents being the age

that i'm approaching there was a strange there was it was

like a spark a spark went off in my brain that said

these two things are things that you know about and you've experienced

and they they do something it's a bit like when you

when you smell something maybe some cakes

are baking in the oven and then suddenly you remember your grandparents when you

used to go to their house uh it's that same thing it's a feeling

in your brain that where two things like that

you've had a lot of trauma in your past mr duncan you're a child who has left

these scars of emotional turmoil

well having grandparents isn't beginning to wonder uh nothing like that

good good that's good um

right i was going to say something then somebody made a comment good oh yes

andy says uh happy people don't observe watches happy people don't

look at their watches no that's true because you're having a great time

or you can't always be worrying what the time is oh what time is it

i i've got a relation i'm not gonna say who who is it

uh who's always yeah some people are like this aren't they

who they're a bit obsessed with time is it your mum

i'm not going to say that you know if you say i'm going to arrive

at a certain 12 o'clock for example and you don't then they get very

nervous and they get very stressed everything some people lives they have

to always be by the clock yes and that is stressful

because when something things go wrong every day

okay so you might have an appointment and something goes you can't there's

traffic uh and it's always very stressful when you're working to the

clock yes so yes that's um but some people are

obsessed with time so actually i think it also

becomes a little bit of a disorder in the end

because then you become too obsessed with time but yes yes well i have a

watch just just so i know where i should be or

except today it didn't work it's just an observation it didn't work today because

i was 15 minutes late it's just an observation that andy made

which i think is is is is very valid i can't even remember what

the original is going bye-bye okay meet you next sunday

or you could come on wednesday it's duncan's birthday

mr duncan i should say sorry mr duncan not just duncan

i'm itching i'm competing that's great we seem to be straying away from the

from the actual thing we're teaching today

uh which is puns we're talking about puns

oh here we go steve here's an easy one welcome to the brightest

day of the week is that sunday with your live streams oh okay steve that's that's

could you could you not just give the answer

you know what you know this is welcome to the brightest day of the week

come on mr duncan what's the matter now will it

i was asking if anyone had any idea what the answer was

oh that is that's what we're saying i don't didn't give the answer

you did you did it unintentionally okay unintentionally thought you'd realize

that was the answer i thought it was going to be something

around bulbs or something like that what is the brightest day of the week

let's see if anybody else comes up with a

bullet today i don't know but you know well it's it's too late now really it's

sunday there we go sun you see well i didn't give the

answer away you did you said it's sunday oh right sunday

yes so there's a joke obviously the sun is bright

yes why is sunday a bright day well it's just the brightest day of the

week it's just the joke you saw because the word sun yes

i i think or you could say what is the brightest day of the week

yes what is the brightest day of the week it's sunday that's it

yes it's just basically the same joke the same joke but just

with a question mark that's it halfway through so i might say welcome to the

brightest day of the week it's sunday

and then everyone will laugh laugh like sun is very bright they will laugh like

drains so that's a slightly different idea okay

we should have pause just let's just pause

sometimes steve pedro has said at least twice okay uh

and uh pedro you do say this quite often and i agree with you

uh send us a picture to you know pedro uh i'd love to see you visiting

landmarks of the world remember when we used to do that we did

it twice i remember enjoyed it you know one of

them was was salisbury cathedral i still remember

and the other one was the eiffel tower have you still got your long hair pedro

oh no the other one was i tell you the other one was the statue of liberty

i think we did three i think we did three landmarks

and i got so bored with it because i don't know what was it countries of

the world though is that what pedro is referring to no i think landmarks of

the world well landmarks aren't countries

but did we do landmarks of the world yes you stood in front of a green screen and

i put a landmark behind you and then you talked about the place

sorry about that but pedro has said before will you do

countries of the world because we've done that as well haven't we we have yes

but that's not landmarks well it's a completely different one i

know it is but i think you know pedro is just saying can we do

that well he's asked for he's asked for countries of the world and

that hasn't happened no now he's asking for landmarks of the world so

he's trying different ways to get you to go back to things that we used to do

before i tell you what i used to do as well i

used to poo myself all the time when i was a baby

i'll have a word let's go let's go back to doing that shall we

oh i think i've just done it one day pedro keep watching one day it

will be on uh but yes have you still got your long

hair let us know sorry who are you talking to

now pedro oh i see sorry is this

is this like a dating app no we're not brothers

a couple of people have asked that today oh my god i hope not

oh here we go flags of the world mr duncan the flag has been requested by

guess who pedro yes but you just mentioned it

no i didn't say flags of the world it was landmarks otherwise

but then you said countries of the world yes and now flags of the world

it's just basically the same thing but that was something else that we did so

yes it was there's a lot of things i used to

do i used to also sit in a high chair when i was a baby

but i don't do that anymore either

oh we have uh hello to the sentence game hello

chandra prakesh or tran chandra prakash which place

is this welcome to england this is england on a beautiful sunday afternoon

it's 3 38 don't forget we were late today steve

so we actually have an extra 15 minutes you see i wasn't late

well not for a change just for a change steve was not late

welcome to the brightest day it's sunday sunday here's another one

steve we're talking about puns are we doing the sentence game as well

we will be playing it soon okay calm down we have plenty of time

are we staying over a bit longer well well

we're not staying longer with it's still the same length okay we just

came on later yes but it was it doesn't make any

difference to the length of the live stream

because we're still doing two hours very awkward

i feel like i meant longer than two o'clock it's what i mean well it will be

because we were 15 minutes late you were 15 minutes yes exactly

i was on time we seem to be going around in circles

for this conversation we're just having a bit of fun aren't we mr don't worry

okay well maybe you are i'm i'm

what we're having for tea tonight are we having chicken fish now we're having

chicken tonight aren't we some fresh chicken oh yes yes you're not

fresh i fancied some fresh chicken i think so

yes i would love to eat some fresh chicken tonight i think yes

if only there was a chicken nearby that we could we could find

yes and cook oh well maybe one day do you like india do i like do i like

india like indian food for definite we love indian

food very much can we yeah we haven't been to

india so i can't comment on that but obviously

indian food we could live on it i could eat indian food for

breakfast dinner and tea and in fact when i've been on

holiday in malaysia that's exactly what i've

done

they had to replace the toilet in the hotel twice yes oh i love i will

give me give me a nice curry any day in fact we had a curry on friday didn't we

which is extremely popular so hello food in the

uk uh so the answer is no culturally

connected countries the answer is no we've never

been to india no we haven't but we like it we like that all of the

food that comes from india but of course don't forget indian

food is not as spicy or as hot as we have it here so over the years

it's been changed yes it's uh it's angler-sized isn't it

the the indian food in fact uh

when you go to an indian restaurant the uk the

uh often sometimes you see the owner eating

if you know the only you can speak to the owner uh

eating food uh maybe on a table by himself

and his food is very different to the food he would serve an

english person because they put more uh it's it's not a they change the

recipes for us because they think that we want it all hot and spicy yes i

thought i thought you're gonna say beans on toast

he was having beans on toast anyway here's another pun

so this is a sentence so there's no answer to this steve okay

so again it's another pun people who use umbrellas always seem under the weather

oh you see ah right so that that that does not have a double meaning

but we are saying that they seem under the weather because

whenever you see a person with an umbrella they are outside

and they are under the weather because they are using the umbrella to

protect themselves so they are always outside so it doesn't

mean that they're ill or unwell so in that sense it isn't

really a pun that can be used both ways so we're not

saying that people who use umbrellas are ill

we're just saying they are under the weather

so the pun is actually under the weather because they are actually

under the weather literally but if you say you're under the weather

it means you're not feeling very well that's it so that's another way of using

it so that particular pun does not work

both ways and again see there are different types

of joke you could put that another way you could

say you could have you could have met somebody with it or you could

have an umbrella up mr duncan and i could say what's the matter

are you under the weather and that would be funny because you are

under the weather because you've got an umbrella i'm just listening for the

laughter there i think it's better than the way you put

it no laughter yes here's another one steve

i've got a friend talking about hot spicy food

i've got a friend so i go out with him with a curry

quite regularly to a restaurant in wolverhampton

and he will say i now give me a nice curry full of flavor but i don't want

that it's hot spiciness i just want the

flavor so you can have if you just leave out

the the chili you can have a nice pleasant meal

without sweating everywhere okay right okay the police arrested me

for stealing my neighbor's new turf yes so when we say

turf we mean grass so there it is all behind us

turf is grass is there another part to this yes there

is so the police arrested me for stealing

my neighbor's new turf

the rest of it goes like this someone must have grasped on me ah you

see someone must have grasped on me

so there we go if you obviously turf is grass and if you grass on somebody it

means you tell on them yes you report that person

so maybe someone saw you stealing their grass

or their turf and they called the police which means that they grasped on you

and yes in films people who grasp on other people

in films uh well if you grass on somebody that's often seen as

not a good thing to do because uh particularly if if it's a friend of

yours maybe you had a friend and uh

they uh saw you stealing somebody's uh turf uh or their grass

and uh they were a friend of yours but they felt so

uh uncomfortable with the fact that they saw you stealing that they reported you

to to the police and you would say you

grasped on me yes you grest or you you grass someone up

as well there's another way so quite often people who are

involved in crime maybe one person will grasp

on the other person they will tell the police

what that other person is doing so yes it's again a pun so we are using the

word turf and grass

you see so the pun comes from the use of those words

thank you flower for your lovely comment

the police arrested mr duncan and mr steve

for stealing viewers hearts oh okay thank you that's that's very nice

uh um yes chandra prakash says i have a question

yes you may ask any question you like yes okay

i think i know what it's going to be please ask us

yes it's always the same question and the answer is yes

okay yes

is it well if the question is are you brothers the answer would be no

okay i think right i think the camera's just locked up again

i don't know what's happening today we seem to have some technical issues

can i can people still hear us like that oh

okay that's a strange effect mr duncan well that's interesting

i i i'm not quite sure what's happening i think i've lost some weight mr duncan

what what's going on how slim you look what's going on here

let me just see if i can put this right this is definitely live if anyone had

any doubts as to whether this was a live stream or

not we certainly look interesting are we at the fair mr duncan are these

distorting mirrors i don't know what's going on

front top it's the puns mr duncan that's what's going on the camera is

is getting revenge on these awful puns i don't i don't know what that is what's

happened to us did it just suddenly do it back

do you remember when they used to show old films that were

were made in cinemascope and they used to put them on the screen and that's

what people would look like at the end maybe you need to switch the

camera off and on again how bizarre i i have that has never

happened ever oh that's never happened ever

what's happened to what is going on mr duncan i mean yes i'll agree i look

slimmer i like that can can you still hear us

please tell us can you still hear us

how weird better quality you are correct bad quality is not the word you've got

30 seconds younger in a second uh we don't know what's

happening can you hear us hello can you hear us

please tell us if you can hear it let's let's see if i can put this right

that that is one of the reasons why i was late today you see

let's just see if we can put this right uh well there's

there's pete burning in moscow how strange

according to andy it's still not right there are fires

uh all over the world at the moment aren't there i mean australia have had

some very bad fires um because of global warming well i mean

because of global warming it's because of global warming well

global warming is is causing everything to burst into flames

well it's just causing a general rise in temperature which is

just drying out vast areas and causing fires they've had

bad fires in the amazon forests i can't believe we're carrying on as normal yes

we can people can still hear us so thank you

for that yes so we'll carry on talking even though we look odd

i don't know what's let me just uh see if i can sort this out that's

this has never happened before this is something that's never

ever happened we've got a camera fault maybe your camera's

going wrong mr duncan well something's happening

it's just one thing i do know something is happening

and we look a lot thinner i like this look

it's like it's like a before and after of some slimming pill

i i can i if you switch the camera off and on again

would people still be able to hear us yes i'm going to switch the camera off

but i don't think it is that i think this is

something a little bit more serious to be honest

we don't want anything serious mr duncan no

i don't want to have to buy a new phone uh sorry a new camera

oh dowana says i like this effect i'm not sure if i do maybe if we if we

if we go sideways you see i think we will look

normal well uh while you go and do that i'll

talk about the weather yes and global warming yes we'll have

some more pins yes something in the setting belly you

could be right but i don't know that this is this is something

this is uncharted territory so if you say

uncharted territory it means that uh it's something that

we've never seen before and never experienced before a bit like

coronavirus that's uncharted territory uh that mr

duncan can you hear mr duncan because he

doesn't want me to mention the word now we've disappeared but i'll carry on

talking while mr duncan tries to adjust the

camera uh we may have to carry on uh doing this live stream from

uh mr duncan's mobile phone but yes but no i'm still looking weird

mr duncan i'm still looking very odd

we may have to finish early

i don't i don't i don't really know what this is i have no idea what this is

it's strange i've never switched to another device

i would love to well i i i don't i don't live in a camera shop

unfortunately i would love to have another device but

wait there a second oh this is very we can only apologize for this technical

hiccup very strange normal service will resume

hopefully shortly but yes there have been wildfires

uh all over the world uh australia i think i mentioned

is anyone from australia watching because they've had some very bad

uh fires in australia um and in fact they've they've stopped

reporting them now because of the pandemic but it's still going on

uh bad fires in indonesia they have a lot of those

causing a lot of smoke that's drifting across to other countries

um where there's fires everywhere we get them in this country

and in fact now in the uh in the evening we're experiencing

temperatures of 20 degrees

at night which is there are these are extremely rare

events which never happen or they've only happened i think they

gave some statistics the other night on television telling us how many times

in the last 30 years we've had temperatures of over

20 degrees tropical temperatures overnight

in the uk and it's extremely rare i think it was about

you know once every 10 years or something like that and we're going to

get three or four of those in the space of

one month so it's very unusual now i'm not sure

what i can talk about at the moment because mr duncan's trying to sort out

the technical issues and i'm still

well i've frozen on the screen now i think mr duncan if you can hear me he's

gone into his studio to try and sort out what's going on uh

i'm looking normal on the camera oh i'm back mr duncan

it's working whatever you've done mr duncan you've fixed the problem

hurrah and hooray for mr duncan you see he's a very he's a very

technical wizard he's a technical wizard if you say

someone's a technical wizard it means they can perform miracles and

and they get on very well with technology

you would not describe myself as a technical wizard

because i don't really have much affinity with technology if you have

affinity with something it means that you like it you're drawn

to it you're attracted to it mr duncan is coming back i can hear him

he's restored normal service

i'm the best i'm the best i fixed it what was it mr duncan

i just pulled everything out i just i just took all of cables and i just went

and then i put them all back in again well it was a very strange occurrence

that's what they do at tv stations when anything goes wrong at a tv station

there is at least one engineer grabbing all of the cables and then he just pulls

them all out and then puts them all back in again

trust me that's exactly what happens i think the delay has reduced you know i

think there is less of a delay on here now because

already people are saying it's back to normal and it was only like

10 seconds later oh okay i think something's happened the delay is less

than it used to be okay i don't know yes mr duncan is

multi-talented it's true but we don't know what

happened there maybe we'll find out later

multi-talented m and are we now going to play the sentence game i think the puns

have sort of run their course you say

something's run its course it means it's come to an end

i'm all punned out well i've got a good one here you see

no we were still quite far behind with the

when i asked the live chat seems to be yeah live chat is is ahead

of the video that's physically impossible well

well somebody said back to normal well before that just happened anyway

when i asked my dog how his day was when i asked my dog how

his day was

what did he reply with he replied with he said it was rough

that deserves a laugh

i think it's okay uh yes we've got a very we've got a very tough audience

so they're very hard to please let's explain that shall we so a dog

well do i need to explain it yes i think so

when i asked my dog how his day was he said it was

rough well of course rough means difficult

difficult a bad day but also the sound of a dog

when it barks is rough you see so when i asked my dog how his

day was he said it was

rough that's funny yes yes okay one more

one more the local judge loves the sound of his own voice the local judge

loves the sound of his own voice so a judge is somebody that

uh sits in a court yes and uh he he makes judgments makes judgments

tell people whether they're uh what sentence they're going to get for

the crime they committed yes assuming the the jury

found them guilty yes the local judge loves the sound

of his own voice which of course i'm showing the answer now

okay he really likes giving long sentences

i think that's funny the local judge loves the sound

of his own voice he really likes giving long

sentences so a long sentence is obviously you know you 25 years

prison so the sentence is how many years you have to go to jail for or to prison

you've done something bad so the judge will give

a sentence but also if he likes talking a lot

he will use long sentences you see so that is the pun and the reason why i

wanted to show that one is it segues it links very nicely

into the sentence game you see you see what i did there

why did i bother the best joke i've ever heard

it is i think it is the best joke right we've had that come up within 10 seconds

very quickly anyway never mind but maybe that was the reply to the previous joke

i don't think so okay anyway at least we've fixed our

technical problem our technical problem has been put right

oh chandra prakash says where are your masks

uh that's the question we don't need masks

because we're in the same household uh so uh we live in the same house

so therefore we are a bubble as they're describing it here a social

bubble we live in a bubble and i've been here ever since the

lockdown and uh and uh 30 years before although you were

your mother's nest he was with his mother yesterday did you wear your mask

yesterday uh yes i did with your mum yep yep i

need proof of that i need to see a photograph

with you and your mother with yesterday's daily paper

and so i can verify and make sure that you were both wearing your masks because

i don't think they were so different countries have got

different rules at the moment depending on how serious

the situation is with the virus so in the uk at the moment

if you well if you live in the same household yes and

well you're not going to wear masks in the same house are you really no well

if you live together you're really together anyway

chandra prakash probably wasn't aware that we live in the same house

we do so therefore we don't need to have masks on we share the same space

well maybe it's a joke maybe uh chandra prakash thinks that we

need to wear masks to protect our viewers maybe some people think you

are wearing a mask maybe they think it's halloween i mean i

can put one on if you want yeah anyway shall we play the sentence game

before i i completely lose the will to live i'm getting very hungry by the way

me too four o'clock we we will spend about 15 minutes playing the

sentence game right

now

the sentence game is coming up are you looking forward to it

i was about 15 minutes ago it's a very strange day today we've had some weird

moments of time today including the equipment

going wrong going completely wrong we had some technical problems but of

course me being the professional the expert that i am

oh i was enjoying that too much a little bit too much there

so the sentence game is here without any more delaying

so mr mr steve stop delaying us faster the sentence game

it's very easy to play probably much easier than the

puns using the letter m we are using the letter m m for

mother m for mischievous oh i think sometimes mr

steve is a little mischievous and if you don't

know what the sentence game's about if you're new to this you will soon pick it

up m for marriage getting married

you see you might get married two people will join together in holy matrimony

there's another matrimony anyway mr duncan faster faster

i'm dilly dallying here we go then here's the first

sentence game for today using the letter m

i read the something but it something no sense

so you've got to find two words beginning with m

one is six letters long and one is five letters long that's what that means in

brackets underneath i read the something but it's something

no sense yes i read the something six letters

i nearly gave the answer away then mr duncan to at least the second word

why does that not surprise me that does not surprise me at all

you okay i think i've got one of them mr duncan okay then

i read the something but it something no sense and of course a lot of people

are looking forward to seeing my cock today my cock is ready i've been

i've been stroking it to keep it

to keep it calm because it gets very excited sometimes it runs around the

garden and it tries to interest back the other

birds

yeah so uh one or two people are asking to explain so that's it you have to

find two words today you have to find two words beginning

with m and uh in brackets the first word is six

letters long the second word is five letters long

so yes i read the something but it something no sense

a message i'm afraid has got seven letters

oh i see yes oh we're getting some some guesses coming through

message yes unfortunately that doesn't have the right amount

of num letters i mean that would fit the sentence but we want

a word with six letters we have to be precise

we have to follow these rules without rules you have

anarchy yes

magazine i'm afraid it's too many can you see in brackets underneath down

there

tells you the number of letters for the first word

and for the second word six so the missing word is six and five

letters so magazine is is would fit the sentence but it has to be

six letters i'm afraid yes

so message doesn't fit either

sarah says guys i am so boring i think you mean bored

are you saying that you're boring or what are you saying i think they're

saying they feel bored oh fine but we're

livened things up we're live and yes well at the end of the live stream

you see mr steve will take all of his clothes off yes

and he will do something very interesting with some of the apples

from this tree so look forward to that at the end of today's live stream

steve will be naked and he will be doing something with these apples

look forward to that

yes couple of answers no i'm getting bored

waiting for lots of answers coming through so maybe you know

that's what i'm saying people are reacting a lot faster than they normally

do i don't think it's 30 seconds anymore mr duncan

it is well something's going on i'll tell you because the answers came up

virtually straight away um right so yeah there's loads of

answers here look mr duncan loads of them okay the answer is coming

in a moment i have got mr cockerell

is ready he's down there he will spring forth and he will let us

all know that the answer is on its way come on mr

cockrell do your thing

that's going to excite the the other animals that we have very close to us mr

duncan right beatrice was the first to get

two words that fit that sentence that is correct

yes whether they're the same ones that you've got yes i don't know

but what what are the words beatrice says manual

and makes yes well a lot of people got makes correct yes you never know it

might it might be correct you see it certainly fits so you definitely

have got that right the answers are bing guess what you are right you've got

done beatrice well done beatrice you got it right

correct on you got it on the nose if you get something on the

nose it means you get it right you are you are correct

completely completely correct atomic atomic

has uh instead of using manual he's used the word memoir

which yes you could meet you could read someone's memoir

that is a six-letter word beginning with m

yes congratulations to you too yes good just because mr duncan chose those words

doesn't mean there aren't alternatives integra asks manual a manual

is something that you use to to guide you

if you are operating a piece of equipment so maybe you

you come to use something maybe a piece of equipment

a tool and you don't know how to use it so you will read the manual a manual

is a guide that shows you how to work something

or maybe you have to construct something maybe you have to put something together

and you read that oh let's have a look what's it say there how do i fit that

thing to that yes yes how do i how do i work

how do i work this computer how do i use this machine i need to read

the manual and sometimes manuals make no sense they are very hard to understand

the instructions are not clear yes and that's why we do that can we

have the next question please yes you can here is the next question on today's

sentence game the sentence game is what we're playing now

i don't have enough something to something

my car i don't have enough something to something my car

so first word has got to be five letters and the second word has got to be eight

letters beginning with m so

yes let's see i'm seeing how quickly it takes people to to answer

uh i don't have enough something to something my car i'm just practicing

my new instagram look do you like it no

that's what you do you see if you take photographs on instagram you have to

look like this what's that 30 seconds we've just had

two answers already

stay with the program mister so i was just we had two answers already was that

30 seconds do you think 30 seconds i don't know i'm not timing

it to be honest i'm not looking at how long

it takes yes

yes a lot of people have come up with the

first word oh okay then i don't have enough something

to something my car hmm wow

yes and uh yeah we have some correct answers coming through

now yes some correct answers come in indeed

some correct answers as we will be going in five minutes this is your five-minute

warning for us going away

your five-minute warning is now flashing on the screen

i can't wait until one minute

you know what i mean yes you do i can't wait until one minute

why not so this is five minutes oh i see say

five minutes yes i can't wait until one minute but

two would be rude as well two would be rude but only in this

country but there would be another one which is

rude depends which finger you use to display one yes

exactly which was the the basis of the joke

i don't have enough something to something my car

we will we will give the answer in a moment i wanted

lots of answers already lots of answers coming through

we have we've got two people who have both correctly

uh got answers and one of them slightly different to the other

oh and one person's got uh yeah so yeah well done

here we go then are you ready for the answer mr cockerell

do your thing

game's off you can't put any more suggestions here that's it we have to be

strict well tomic was first to get two correct

answers oh good so the answer we're looking for in

this particular sentence game is bing oh yes

money well done tomic you were on the money

a lot of people got money so well done well done for that

you were on the money on the money means you are right

you are correct you've made the right guess you can be on the nose

and on the money it means you are right you are correct

uh chandra prakesh has put modifying uh which is an eight-letter word

beginning with m but grammatically that wouldn't be

correct you would have to say modify

i don't have enough money to modify my car you couldn't say modifying

uh grammatically that wouldn't be correct but yes

well that's good modify yes but that that actually i like that

that answer though modify i don't have enough money to modify

to to make improvements or enhancements to my car well that's only a six-letter

word but that's only six letters you see so it's really wanted it's eight letters

it's not enough it's not enough letters i'm afraid i'm sorry

don't shout at me you would say uh if you were actually working on your car

and changing it then you would say i am modifying my car

modifying uh but that's where you yeah that doesn't quite fit there

to maintain

any other suggestions uh i'm just looking to that fire works mr

duncan it is very strange i just heard fireworks at

this time of the day august at this time of the year yes

anyway shall we have one more i'm going to squeeze one more in

as the vicar said to the actress i'm going to squeeze one more in

this is the last one and then we are going this is a silly one i thought we

would end it with a silly one so this is a bit silly so don't take

this too too seriously this is just a silly one

silly this is silly not serious we have to make sure you see people

realize because one person might be offended by this and

become so outraged that they will go into the street and they will

tear their clothing off and turn into the incredible hulk

and then they will find us and they will throw it in the air

really high it is something to something people to recycle old

something again the first word it's got to be seven letters the second

word has got to be four letters and the last word has got to be seven

letters all beginning with m and as a clue there is a clue here

it's something silly the last letter is something the last word

sorry is something silly so think of something silly that you might

be asked to recycle think of something

silly

it is something to something people to recycle old

something i've just realized there is a word that fits in there that is very

rude maybe somebody will come up with it yes

there is so no it's not that one and of course it

doesn't begin with m either but there is a word that does

fit in there and when i thought about it it made me laugh

quite a lot i wish i could say what it was it is it is something to

something people to recycle old something

think of something silly that that they might say you must recycle this thing

something silly is this another pun mixed in with the sentence

it is not it is not that one no

well we've got no right answers yet ah

it is something to something people to recycle

old something um i think we've got uh one person has put at least a correct

answer for the first two oh the first two i have a feeling i

have a feeling that many people will get that

or those but recycle old think of something silly that you might

be asked to recycle beginning with m m

m old

well i won't say what i'm thinking of uh

it isn't mothers well that's what i was thinking mothers

old mothers recycling your old mother so mothers is a seven letter word

beginning with n i don't think we can have that one no

no and it doesn't really make sense oh v

tests vitas has an interesting one where is that very test is coming up

that's good that's some good answers there interesting

but think of something silly something silly

that they might ask you because there are some strange things that we are

asked to recycle that's not quite right it's

not you'd need an s on the end of there which would make it an eight

letter word that's it so machine would be recycle old

machines you would have to say yeah you'd have to use the plural version of

that which would be too many letters if you'd

say to recycle an old if you'd put an in between

recycling then you could use the singular that's

it because you're denoting one thing but in that sentence that would have to

be you'd have to use a plural word in there so you'd probably need an s on

the end of the word very nice it is something to something

people to recycle old and it it's it's not mothers so

people are getting the first and second letters but

people are struggling with the the last one but think of something

funny something something funny silly that you that you would not

normally recycle they used to is it true that they still ask us to

recycle our old eggshells because your mother had a little container didn't

yes they gave her they gave her a recycling box

and it was a small box and they said this is this is to recycle your

eggshells yes who is who is recycling their

eggshells and why how are they reusing them are

they putting them back together and putting other chickens inside is

that is that how they're doing it i don't know

let me stretch

the answer is coming up in a moment and then we are going we are not hanging

around we will be getting out of here because steve is going to

make a cup of tea and the sun has just come out

so far no correct answers for the last word mr duncan

i'm afraid here we go then but uh yes go on sound your cock

for the last time we will take a look at my lovely cock

is that ever not going to be funny well uh that is always going to be funny

unicornia was that unicornia well done was the first person to

get two of the words okay two of the words but so far

uh and alessandra at the same time also got the same two words

unless of course you've copied just what unicorn would say

i'm only joking i like the use of muppets

m-u-p-p-e-t-s you see this muppets

old muppets or puppets of course maybe you have to recycle your old

puppets i like that maybe they can take the arms

and the legs and the eyes out of the puppets

right and they can transplant them into other puppets

well unicorny yes i mean that does fit if you've got some old muppets

then uh it would be madness would it be madness to recycle them

probably you'd probably want to keep them it'd be very

silly uh but it fits it fits even if it doesn't quite make

sense but it does fit it fits right in there

does if you've got uh it would be because

actually if you've got if you were yeah that does make sense because

to actually recycle an old muppet would be silly

it would be silly it would be simple i like it i still like it

here's the answer there hang on a minute one

yes lil what that what monkeys little has put

recycle your old monkeys if you yeah again that would be

silly that is silly it's very silly and we want silly

okay then but what's the answer you came up with mr duncan the answer that i

i came up with i made it all on my own using my brain

is bing matches yes okay yes that would be silly

that would be silly because a match is a very small piece of wood

and to ask you to recycle it would be silly it would

uh but why would you have an old match i don't know yes

so old matches so when you light a match it burns and then it just becomes

useless so why would you recycle old oh say

yes matches you strike the match you've got just a

little bit of wood left yeah a black bit on there

but they might think that all those little tiny pieces of wood

that are left on the match you could you could

you could recycle that so it would be madness

it would be madness wouldn't it it would be crazy but maybe one day

we will be told that we have to recycle matches

we break maybe you just break the end of the match

that that hasn't hasn't been burnt so there we go

and it's not mothers uh you could have put mothers in there that would be a bit

silly but i don't know what mr duncan's

laughing at actually i think i do know what mr

duncan's laughing at but i'm hoping please that he doesn't say why uh so i

think i'll go before uh i think we heard it

i think we'll go before uh no right yes so well done to

everyone what yes are those cows it's the cows they make all sorts of strange

noises can you hear them i can hear the cows in the background

matches it was not easy thank you zuzika i'm sorry about that it

wasn't easy enough but i just thought it was a fun one

funny it made me laugh you see when i thought about it the idea

of recycling matches yes that you've used and then you have to put them in a

little box and then you have to send them away to

be recycled but it might happen one day and this is where you heard it first

yeah because believe it or not in some parts of this country you are

given a container by the council to recycle your eggshells

i'm not joking i don't understand what what are you doing with your old

eggshells well most people would just sort of put

them on a compost heap or just throw them in the bin

what are you recycling them into that's what i want to know i need to know

what what are you recycling your eggshells into what are you doing

are they what i know yeah yeah so that's why mr duncan came

up with that silly idea uh

right it's time to go oh is it time to go i wonder what was happening time for

me to go and time for you to wrap up yes i'm

wrapping up it's time to say goodbye i hope you have enjoyed

today's unusual live stream why am i talking like that i have no

idea so we had a few technical problems today

for some reason during today's live stream mr steve and myself we became

very thin which to be honest with you i quite like

the look yes i like the look of that i like a very thin

mr dunker you know you know i'm just delaying you know why i'm delaying

because i know that the next time we're here will be my birthday

so i don't want this to end i want this to carry on because

the next time steve the next time i'm here i'll be another year older

and so will i what that doesn't make any sense every day

we're another year old right yes but i'm on about the birthday it's my birthday

that that's what i'm trying to say it's my

birthday on wednesday i'm not looking forward to it because i will be

approaching the the hill i can see the hill ahead of

me beatrice eats eggshells

because of course they contain calcium so it's good

for your bones you just put the eggshell in your mouth and crunch

or do do you grind it maybe you use a grinder

that's probably a very good way of getting calcium in your diet

particularly if you're vegetarian you don't

drink milk maybe you can just eat the whole egg and just swallow it

with the shell still on just some excess buy old timer

is that supposed to make me feel better so an old-timer is a is a person who's

old yes i think we've we've gathered that

anything with old in the name right bye everyone i'm off to make cup of tea

and a couple of tea cakes yes and uh i haven't had anything to eat

since breakfast so i'm quite tired but it does make you a mentally i

feel sharper really not eating yes it's only taken 30

years bye bye everyone and see you maybe on

wednesday the next time well you're going to be here on my

birthday i hope where are you going are you leaving me on my own well

steve's going to go on the live stream oh i see well i will be here on

wednesday normal time don't forget that's the only thing that will be

normal on wednesday it's my birthday on wednesday

so this is the last time we will you will see me with mr steve

at this age every second of this live stream we have been one older than

this exact same second one older 12 uh 12 months ago so we're always a year

older at every point but always a year older i'm a year older now

and now how does somebody you can't be a year older

you might be a minute older compared to compared to

exactly a year ago that doesn't make any sense it does it

does make sense you can be a minute older

no compared to this exact site exact same moment

12 months ago to the minute i'm a minute older but you normally have a second

older but you know normally signify that with a certain yes but the

point i'm taking is you're all you could you're

always 12 months older than you were at this exact same time 12 months ago

yes

it's difficult for some people to grasp that concept of course

it is you know it takes someone with a higher intelligence to be able to put

these ideas across well this is this might be the most

lackluster way of ending a live stream ever in the history

of youtube yes nissa i may well be here on

wednesday yes so i will be older on wednesday mr steve

will be older you will be older however i might be the

only person on the live stream on wednesday who is actually celebrating

their birthday well maybe not yeah well maybe not but

at this moment it would appear that the only person is

going to be me you see if anyone is celebrating their birthday

on wednesday please let us know show us your birth certificate to prove

uh that is the case and that we will all celebrate together

okay bye bye see you later see you later go make a cup of tea and i will wrap up

it's time to say goodbye i hope you've enjoyed this really really weird

strange live stream i'm sure a lot of people

are thinking i don't know what the hell that was i really don't and guess what

i'm thinking the same thing as well see you on wednesday yes it is

my birthday on wednesday i don't know why i don't feel great about it

to be honest i don't want to be another year older

but unfortunately it has to happen thank you very much vitas thank you

sandra luis mendes thank you lolly thank you annie to anna

anna thank you very much to authentic max thank you very much

for your company today i will be with you on wednesday

from 2pm uk time i have two days to prepare for my birthday

i might also be a little bit drunk on wednesday we will see what happens

and of course you know what's coming next until the next time we meet here on

youtube this is mr duncan in the birthplace of

english saying take care stay safe

and i will see you on Wednesday see you 2pm

uk time on Wednesday and of course you know what's coming next

yes you do until then...

ta ta for now 8-)