HA HA HA! - English Addict - Sunday 30th May 2021 - LIVE Stream - Jokes and Humour

Here

we go again yes we are back i hope you are having a good day where you are as you can

see the weather is rather nice here at the moment in the uk we have some nice weather

sunny blue skies the birds are singing the sheep are calling and everything in the world

is rather nice well almost everything anyway here we go again

yes it's another english addict coming to you live from the birthplace of english which

just happens to be yes you know where it is it's

england

hi everybody this is mr duncan in england how are you today are you okay i hope so are

you happy well are you feeling happy i hope you are feeling good today i'm not too bad

i've had a very stressful morning however i have to say very stressful indeed lots of

noise lots of commotion going on outside commotion mr duncan that's a very interesting word that

you are using at the start of your live stream yes it is a rather interesting word commotion

commotion is chaos things that are happening that are creating lots of noise or chaos commotion

a lot of noise a lot of disturbances a lot of panic as well i was supposed to be outside

today but i'm not as you may have noticed even though we have the lovely live view behind

me it's lovely it's live right now that is the weather in the distance and yes it is

a lovely day you might notice that the sun is definitely out i hope it's out where you

are as well and i hope you are feeling good on this super day and i hope you're feeling

good my name is duncan by the way just in case you are wondering who is that strange

man staring from my computer screen well my name's duncan i talk about the english language

i do all sorts of other things as well and you are welcome to join me today because we

are talking about the english language i thought i thought today we would have a little bit

of a smile actually we are talking about jokes and humour what makes you laugh what makes

you laugh what makes you burst out laughing if you burst out laughing it means you suddenly

laugh you burst out laughing at something talking of things that are funny and unusual

we have mr steve coming later on as well i don't know what he's doing this week of course

is very special for us because we have a long weekend oh again yes i think that deserves

at least one fancy pants yes it is a long bank holiday weekend and

we are having a lovely relaxing time here in the uk because we have a public holiday

on monday so everyone is enjoying the lovely long weekend i hope you are having a good

weekend yes we have made it all the way to the end of another week and also the end of

another weekend because it is

sunday

my echo sounds a little different i wonder why i don't know i hope you are feeling good

today yes we have made it all the way to the end of another week and also almost the end

of another month because june is just around the corner here in england many people become

very excited at this time of year because what this means is the official arrival of

summer and it really does feel as if summer has arrived i'm feeling quite excited about

it to be honest another thing why i'm feeling excited is because next week i'm going to

see my mother in person yes for those who know she has been in care and because of all

of the craziness surrounding coronavirus i haven't been able to see my mother so next

thursday i'm going to see her i'm really excited i can't wait of course i will have to take

a covered test before i go apparently i have to take one of these just over here i have

one would you like to see my covid test it's just over here

here it is so this is my my covid test that i'm taking just to make sure i don't have

coronavirus i know i don't i'm pretty sure i don't and this will confirm that i don't

have coronavirus so i have to take one of these before i can actually go to see my mother

and of course when i arrive there they will also do do another test as well so i will

have to have at least two tests this week to make sure and on friday i'm going to have

my vaccination on friday i hope the reason why i say i hope is because i want to have

the pfizer vaccine so i'm hoping that they will be able to give me that on friday i have

booked the appointment it is all ready so that's what i'm doing on friday i'm having

my my first covid vaccine on friday this week and the day before that i'm going to see my

mother so a rather busy week and on tuesday mr steve and myself we are doing something

we haven't done for a very long time we are going somewhere in the car we are actually

going to visit somewhere else instead of walking around our back garden or up and down the

hill at the back of the house we are actually going to visit a nice scenic place on tuesday

to spend a little bit of time and of course mr steve has decided to take the whole of

next week off as well so i'm really looking forward to that very excited because the fourth

coming week has a lot of lovely moments and maybe also one or two surprises oh i wonder

what that could mean what could that mean mr duncan well you will have to wait and find

out can i say hello to the live chat oh hello to the live chat nice to see you here today

i wonder

i wonder who was first on today's live chat

i already know i can guess i don't need to look i'm not even going to look but i know

i know exactly who was first yes v tess v vitesse was first on today's live chat congratulations

to you

of course vitas was here first he he always is i don't know what your secret is vitas

maybe one day we will all find out what the secret is how does vitas always manage to

be first on the live chat i have no idea it's amazing also we have beatrice we have olga

nice to see you here today on a glorious day it's beautiful here let's have another look

shall we outside because it is really rather nice outside look at that it is bright cheerful

everything is looking lovely at the moment and i can't really complain even though there

are maybe one or two things i want to complain about we might do that a little bit later

on we will see what happens so there it is outside looking very nice indeed hello also

sandra gonzalez nice to see you here mavi hello mavi watching in turkey nice to see

you here as well hello alessandra we also have

belarusia or should i say claudia hello claudio nice to see you here today i think i prefer

your real name to be honest i love your real name you are like a little cloud going by

saying hello down there maybe i will rain on you perhaps i will just go by without doing

anything a little cloud in the sky floating by and guess what that is claudia yes oh we

also have lewis mendes i don't know why my echo my echo sounds different today i don't

know why hello also we have monica hello monica it is so many feet to see you here today it

is super duper in fact cezanne palazz hello from bodrum in turkey very nice to see quite

a few people watching in turkey at the moment very lovely to see you here of course everyone

is welcome wherever you are in the world wherever you are watching it doesn't matter it doesn't

matter where you are everyone and i mean everyone is welcome very nice to see you here today

beatriz and also we have khan new win hello to you as well watching in vietnam and i know

of course as i always say i know i have lots of people watching in vietnam oh by the way

we had a special visitor in the garden this week a very unusual visitor i might show you

the very strange very unusual visitor that i had in my garden this week i was very lucky

enough to be able to film it it was in the garden i will give you a clue it wasn't a

sheep and it wasn't a lamb definitely not but we will have a look at that in a moment

oh something else i want to show you very quickly for those who are very keen on horticulture

flowers plants all sorts of things that bring lots of pleasure and joy into your garden

well i have something lovely to show you right now would you like to see my lovely rhododendron

it is now in full bloom

very nice it's now lovely so there you can see the rhododendrons are now out with their

lovely pink flowers and i have to be honest with you i love them so much i really really

love them i wish i could marry them can you marry a rhododendron bush i'm not sure about

that we are talking about jokes and humor and it looks as if i've i've actually received

a joke oh i like it did you know mr duncan that french fries were not from france they

were first cooked in greece i think that's quite funny actually i i'm guessing that's

a joke is it a joke did you just tell me a joke there thank you very much for that joke

i did like it i'm not sure if anyone else appreciated it but i thought it was really

really nice a very good joke i i might actually have some laughter there if i can find it

where is my lovely laughter oh there it is mr duncan did you know that french fries were

not invented in france they were first cooked in greece oh no that's good that's a good

joke i like that joke it is a good joke it's lovely it's clean it isn't rude or dirty so

yes i i like that i like that thank you nitram for your joke i did like that and the reason

why it's funny is because of course chips are normally cooked or fried in grease a type

of oil that helps the chips to to cook and fry you see that's correct because there's

also a country called greece as well so that's it it's a joke that's how we do it you see

that's how a joke becomes a joke it is normally something you say that has a humorous ending

the ending is humorous sometimes you can have a joke that uses a certain word a way of using

a word we often you call that a pun pun p-u-n pun is also a thing that we can use to make

a person laugh out loud here we go then i will not keep you in suspense any longer here

it is here is the animal that came into my garden this week and i was very surprised

to find it there but it was there and i was able to film it here is the little surprise

guest who came into my garden this week isn't that lovely a little rabbit was in the garden

this week and it would appear that it's living very close to where we are because i've seen

it a couple of times in the garden but this week i was lucky enough to be able to actually

film it and oh look it's having a little sleep after eating all of mr steve's grass naughty

rabbit

hello hello hello everyone hello mr duncan not that i've seen you recently i like the

way you say hello to me i know well it's just the illusion isn't it i want to create the

illusion that i've just come on and we've only just met for the first time yes i noticed

something you were just showing a video of a rabbit oh now i i am happy i feel very happy

to see the rabbit in the garden however someone someone isn't very happy can it's just can

you guess who it is but did you see where that rabbit was lying down mr duncan right

across my new lawn yeah mr steve's new grass my new grass that has only just come to life

yes from the seed mr steve's new grass it would appear that the rabbit loves eating

mr steve's new grass so the rabbit is happy and i'm happy because i can watch it but mr

steve is not happy because it's his lovely grass his new grass it's been chewing away

at the new grass grass so common i say grass not grass

there are of course two ways of pronouncing that word yes okay uh and yes i've had to

i'm gonna have to get a shotgun mr duncan i'm serious but we can't have a rabbit ravaging

my lawn you can't you can't shoot the rabbit well i mean we could put it into a nice pie

yes rabbit pie because it could be could be full of mixomatosis so the one thing i'm just

imagining now is mr steve with a shotgun can you imagine that now think of this in your

mind mr steve walking around the garden with a shotgun trying to find that pesky rabbit

well i mean i've been wielding an axe yes but you're not going i don't think you're

going to chase the rabbit around the garden with an axe no i think it's quite clever it

can hear i think you can hear me coming from a long way off yes and before i get within

a few yards it goes off into the bushes uh and it knows for well i can't follow it into

the thorny bushes okay at the margins of our garden the margins the margins yes that's

what we call it nearly out near the edges the edges of the garden edges the margins

the margins or the borders of course rabbits have very good hearing you see because their

ears are large and also the other thing i love about rabbits is they can they can turn

their ears around as well so they can move their ears all around so louis says something

very interesting hello doesn't think it's a rabbit oh he thinks because it's got such

big long ears it's a hair oh okay a hair oh i see we'll have to look that up yes it's

got a white tail maybe hairs have white bob tails as well but i do know that we do have

hairs around here there there are hairs that live live on the top field at the back so

it could be it could be a hair however normally you can identify them when they're running

i know that sounds strange but rabbits don't normally run but hairs they do they they they

can run very fast so the only way i can really decide is to see is to go up behind the the

animal or maybe mr steve could chase it around the garden with it with his axe there's not

much hair in this studio if you know what i mean that's like that's like a joke that's

a joke yes well we are talking about jokes and humour today ah well i think i knew that

you see so uh obviously spelt differently uh hair h-a-i-r which i haven't got any of

uh an h-a-r-e yes which is the uh the creature running around in our garden that looks like

a river but it has got very long ears yes it has it's interesting now so i might i might

have another look at that later have another look at the video away from youtube and try

to work out yes it could be a hair you might be right you see so i i automatically assumed

it was a rabbit but but it could be a hair the other the other one i always get confused

are frogs and toads as well sometimes you can see what looks like a frog but in fact

it is a toad and sometimes you can see the opposite but of course you can always tell

the difference because a toad always has sort of like warts on its skin and it and it doesn't

hop it just sort of i think it just walks it just crawls and maybe as well if you were

to get a frog on a toad and lick one or the other one you would uh get a bit of a illusion

hallucinogenic trip off and the other one you wouldn't you know that's not real i think

it is i think it isn't i'm joking again it's a joke mr duncan that's not a joke please

don't go out and lick frogs i think that's true i don't know if it's true or no that

was on an episode of the simpsons

you know the simpsons isn't real yeah you know you know maybe there is something that

that frogs or toads secrets are you getting all of your information about the world from

maybe they're eating mushrooms magic mushrooms are you getting all the information from around

the world and the news from from cartoons well you know there must be some fact in there

somewhere otherwise they wouldn't be able to make the cartoon in the first place okay

if you say so so we're we're having a humorous lesson are we today not that we not not that

it's it's been very humorous so far i don't know we'll try our best we're always trying

to inject some humour yes into the situation talking of which i'm going for my injection

on friday i'm going for my covid vaccine hopefully and also the day before we're going to see

my mother and on tuesday the day after tomorrow we are going off somewhere in the car well

hopefully nice but can you believe it because we haven't been anywhere for ages it seems

like a long time but in fact it's been so long the sat nav the satnav needs updating

it does that automatically it's only got roman roads on the sat nav that's that's how long

it's been since we went on the road that's supposed to be a joke anyway we actually i

thought it was a very good joke i think i thought that joke deserves well at least it

deserves some laughter i wouldn't say that we've been in the house for a long time but

the satnav needs updating because all of the roads are still roman ones

i don't think that's particularly i mean if this is the the standard that you're setting

mr duncan i think we need to raise things up a bit yes okay we are going to look at

some examples of jokes a little bit later on but right now we're going to have a little

break because mr steve mr steve yes i told you i said to you just before we came on that

we're going to have a break because we're going to look at an excerpt from from one

of my english lessons and this is taken from one of my english lessons where i talk all

about jokes and humour

ladies and gentlemen put your hands together for crazy mister duncan

hi good evening wow so many people a man goes to see his doctor he says doctor doctor i

feel like a pair of curtains and the doctor replies oh pull yourself together do you like

shopping do you how come whenever i go to the supermarket i always end up with the shopping

trolley that has the bad wheel i want to go this way and my shopping trolley wants to

go this way yeah it's funny it's funny isn't it because it's true a man goes to see his

doctor he says doctor doctor people keep ignoring me and the doctor replies next please

okay you've been a great audience thank you very much good night

if a person stands on a stage and tells their jokes to an audience it is called stand-up

comedy because the person telling the jokes is standing up of course it is true to say

that a joke which may be funny to one person could actually be offensive or not funny to

another each one of us has a slightly different feeling when we hear a joke it is called our

sense of humor some people will laugh at anything while others will hardly ever laugh at all

it is yet another fascinating piece of the human emotion puzzle do you have a sense of

humour what makes you laugh do you know any good jokes

a good question also would be do you know any good jokes

we are here live i hope you are having a good sunday wherever you are in the world mr steve

is now with us a lot of people complimenting you on your garden as well a lot of people

say thank you mr steve must spend a lot of time in the garden he does you spend a lot

of time hours and hours hours and hours just to get away from you that's right that's that's

the only reason why he doesn't he's joking he does it to get away from me i'm joking

talking of jokes we've got uh people putting jokes into the live chat good nitram uh has

come up with a good joke i used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me well done

that deserves a clap well i i gave it some candle after instead that's good is that it

yes i mean please feel free to uh put your favourite jokes to us and we'll read them

out yes um but yes humour it uh it takes away stress yes it's supposed to and that's why

people like watching comedy on television because it takes away the stress in fact we've

got into the habit now haven't we of always watching something funny yes before we go

to bed i think it's good advice actually watch something that is humorous or funny before

you go up to bed and then by the time you get in bed and your head rests on the pillow

you'll be all calm and relaxed and maybe you will be thinking of something funny in your

mind well we do because we we're in this habit of watching sort of crime programmes aren't

we dramas yes um what's it called again what did we watch well we've only been watching

it for the last three years yes that's it anyway it's a crime people get murdered law

and order lauren order that's right but the trouble is if you go to bed after watching

that yeah even though that's a fairly mild program when it comes to crime uh it still

sort of colours your mind and puts bad thoughts into your mind so if so we watch that and

then afterwards now we watch something funny obviously bullseye mr duncan has talked in

length about that program but i think anything would do it then that's the last thing you

remember when you're going up the stairs and cleaning your teeth you just remember the

the fun the laughter the happiness and then you go to bed with a lighter mind yes so and

that is definitely working for us because there's nothing i mean the worst night's sleep

i ever have yeah is when we've watched some kind of science fiction horror program and

then you go to bed and it's all on your mind and what that thing we watched before about

um what was that last program we were about a chernobyl and that was that was sort of

i mean i know it's factual but at the same time it was quite depressing to watch yes

and you go to bed that on your mind you actually because it's such a powerful drama you think

you're there and experiencing all those emotions because i've gone on along but okay there's

steve a long while i have to say all of that has really depressed me watch something funny

before you go to bed i was hoping you would tell us a joke not talk all about chernobyl

i don't know any jokes okay not even one i might think of one that as time goes on okay

let's have some jokes shall we here we go i've got some here fortunately i've actually

put some preparation good into this well it is your show yes and don't forget that jokes

and humour we're going to we're going to tell some jokes now steve are we going to see how

funny they are i've got my i've got my laughter ready the left i'm just want to test my laughter

slight delay there i think it works jokes and humor here we go then steve the first

one

what do you call a man with a shovel or spade on his head i don't know mr duncan what do

you call a man with a shovel on his head yes does anyone know out there so i'm not just

asking you i'm asking everyone in the world what do you call a man with a shovel you can

also say spade a spade on his head what do you what do you call a man who who has that

and this is a joke by the way so what we are looking for is a name a person's name what

do you call a man with a shovel on his head um

come on mr duncan tell us please tell us you his name is

doug doug

doug because doug is somebody's name yes doug but as with a spade you dig uh and the past

tense of dig is doug so there it is what do you call a man okay what do you call a man

with a spade or shovel on his head doug and the reason why we say that is because it's

the past tense of dig you dig a hole you dig into the ground and we can also say doug as

the past tense it also happens to be a man's name even though the spelling as mr steve

pointed out the spelling is different okay here's another one eug would be the spelling

yes d-u-g is the past tense of dig here's another one let's see if we can get this right

this time i had a problem there with the machinery here we go again what do you call a man with

a seagull on his head a seagull is a type of bird normally found on the coast with a

big beak what do you call a man with a seagull on his head mr duncan what do you call a man

with a seagull on his head

anyone know does anyone know out there in youtube land what we call a man with a seagull

on his head and it would be somebody it would be an actual name of a person okay then right

um so we're looking for a name another name think of something think of where birds might

sit if they are by the sea not you steve don't you guess it it is an easy one actually for

us maybe maybe it isn't i don't know i don't know it might not be easy for us it might

be very difficult what do you call a man with a seagull on his head oh valentin valentin

says rocky huh say i like that one yes you might that's a good one it's not the one i

have but i have to be honest i think yours is actually better i think i think i've got

an idea i think it'd be i think valentin valentin has a better answer to my joke than i do does

it begin with b uh b no i was thinking bill bill that's good because it's connected to

birds yes yes very good but i probably would have said if if a man with a duck on his head

because that would be better we often think of duck so bills their beak is called a bill

anyway we're digressing what do you call a man with a seagull on his hand you call him

cliff well that's the end that's yeah can we have a laugh

it didn't split my sides that one no uh if your sides split it means that you are laughing

so much it actually hurts a seagull is a bird it is a type of bird that normally lives on

the coast they are white and very large and they make a horrible sound like this

no i've been asked on here actually when what is a seagull just a few seconds ago okay that's

what we're here to do you know don't be so dismissive not everyone is as clever as you

steve

it's not about being clever so a seagull is a type of bird normally lives on the coast

how about a picture oh grey they're quite big so you think that randomly i have a seagull

a picture of a seagull loaded in my computer no i don't maybe you should here's another

one what do you call a woman with two toilets on her head smelly i should think

that's not a person's name so this is again it's a person's name yes we are well that's

what you call a woman so so we are looking for a name

did you enjoy that silence then that silence was in tribute to the unknown youtuber what

do you call a woman with two toilets on her head thinking of a woman's name that sounds

got something to do with toilets yes um it's nothing rude it's nothing rude no rude jokes

today well we might have some later i've got some funny jokes i think mavy's got it oh

mavi mavi duressen oh oh i see fancy pants very nice if it's not the one you're thinking

of it's certainly very good yes well guess what let's have a look shall we what do you

call a woman with two toilets on her head you call her lulu

because well lou is another word for toilet so of course if she has two toilets on her

head she will be lulu lulu even though the spelling is different the spelling is actually

different but yes so there is another joke that was our third joke did it make you laugh

yes so even though that lu is lou uh it sounds the same as the correct spelling of toilet

or loo that's it which is l-o-o yes as valentin has pointed out thank you valentin yes so

the the sound is the same so they sound the same but the spelling is different pedro is

here i didn't i didn't pedro belmont but he's going already oh i see maybe he's leaving

before we have the flags of the world even he's bored with flags of the world now even

pedro and and pedro that's you're the reason why i i originally did flags of the world

you're the reason and now you're you don't you're not interested anymore you could at

least stay till three o'clock at least well he's got to you know pump some iron he has

to maintain that fabulous physique okay steve calm down maybe we can't have you getting

too excited today here we go then here's a here's another joke oh really what do you

call a man with a paper bag on his head so again we're looking for a man's name yes that

sounds similar to having a paper bag on your head so think of a man's name a man's name

a british man's name a british man you know well there is a famous actor with this name

a very famous actor so what do you call a man with a paper bag on his head think of

the sound that it might make what do you call a man with a paper bag on his head oh right

okay let me think mr duncan i don't know these let's just put them on let's see let us see

if anyone knows oh tomek is complaining by the way oh that's that's a surprise but we're

we're trying to explain how these jokes work yes breaking down the joke kills it even for

the educational reasons the good ones contain not such an obvious punchline well this is

it sometimes a joke can be very subtle so maybe the the actual joke is not immediately

clear so sometimes yes you're right you are right tomek even though once again you are

complaining like an old lady so you have a suggestion from jimmy zach zack oh that's

that's good i i yes i i don't know i suppose you could you could say yes it sounds a bit

like sack s-a-c-k maybe yes back yeah no that's that's good it's not what i'm looking for

v tess has put a funny funny joker did you know boris johnson married secretly oh if

only that were a joke yes how many how many it is true actually is this his his second

wife is it wasn't was he married before i don't think he was i don't know that he's

ever been married i don't know but he certainly had lots of girlfriends and he's got lots

of children and nobody knows exactly how many okay that is true mr steve said that just

in case just in case the lawyers are watching for boris johnson and they might be you never

know they might be bored because it's sunday you see they might have nothing else is a

good one leah i'm just imagining boris johnson's honeymoon no surprises there i'm sure she

already knows i almost threw up then leah as leo got that is very good that is very

good yes it might even be the answer let's have a look shall we what do you call a man

with a paper bag on his head you call him

oh well done russell

russell is a man's name it's also the sound made by paper bags when you move them about

you might say so this sound

rustle wrestle and wrestle even though the spelling is different first spelling is different

the pronunciation is the same would it begin with a w if you were uh if we were that sound

rustling wrestling w no how do you spell russell then r-u-s-t oh yes well done well i just

thought i'd ask that question i mean i knew obviously you you just thought i would just

say you thought russell as in the sound made by paper began with a w well i'm just saying

some people could be thinking that i think so i'm saying you know asking the question

i don't see if you you know you know i don't think anyone else was thinking that because

well done mr duncan well done well done just a little test for mr duncan there and you

came through with flying colours this is a good one i like jimmy jimmy's making a very

good joke there it's a very simple pedro's waiting until three o'clock by the way yes

carry on thanks steve just just talk out all over me a bit more and jimmy from hong kong

says i admire bertrand russell talking of which and that's the joke

what no that's it that's the joke oh it went right over mike because because bertrand russell

was a was a famous recon tour he always had great stories so he would talk and then he

would tell you a wonderful story he would have what they call an aside an aside is when

you start talking and then you you talk about something else maybe a story you tell a story

about something so bertrand russell was very famous for his for his stories he was a he

might describe him as a wreck and tour can you spell once again the sound of paper valentina

r u s t l that's it yes i will put it on the live chat as well the t is silent you wouldn't

go rustol you goes to go russell there's a t in there but you don't pronounce it there

it is it's now on the live chat absolutely wrestle the sound of something whereas r-u-s-s-e-e

is the man's name sounds exactly the same but spelt differently yes pedro is waiting

for flags of the world we have flags the world coming up i hope you are ready for those flags

look out for your flag and what i was going to try and do this week was read out the names

of the countries but to be honest my throat is a little bit dry so i do need something

to drink so i could read them out well i'm still here though and i have to control the

machine you could start it off and then i could just yes but no miss steve isn't understanding

what i was like i still need my hands to operate the equipment i can't drink water and do this

at the same time here they come then steve it's those lovely lovely flags of the world

and then we are back with more with more comedy and humour you could be ready with your uh

rotten tomatoes to throw at us yes the jokes are not up to standard so if you want to find

a joke that is funnier than my jokes then you know what to do

i

hope our appearance did not spoil your enjoyment of those flags of the world too much why mr

duncan yes atomic says um atomic so atomic that's that's a good nickname yeah atomic

we will call him from now on tomek you will be atomic no i don't think so right anyway

yes he's just trying to help us make the show better so that we can um fly above all those

other english channels and to help us please if there's anything you've liked so far in

today's show please hit the like button because that really does help mr duncan's channel

getting seen far and wide you might not realize just how important that little thumb is yes

so go below the video click the like button and you might be surprised to find out just

how

a few beads of perspiration the pressure is showing that's water oh i see i was drinking

the water and it went all over my face it's very hot in your studio today mr duncan plenty

hot please give me a like those those likes are very important you might not realize but

they are very important that's what sends your channel out doesn't it into the into

the into the into the space on the internet i don't know what i'm talking about all i

know is it helps other people pick up your channel and yes it's going to help you get

to 1 million subscribers much quicker which is your goal well it's nothing to do with

subscribers i know but that's to do with it it's to do with the youtube algorithms because

then the more likes means the more of a chance there is of it being passed around on the

site by those lovely algorithms here but uh late because they've been for their vaccine

so yeah oh mohsen you've had your you've had your jab what was it like tell mr duncan because

he's got his on friday i'm having my fizer jab i hope so anyway i'm going to make sure

i'm going to make sure i want to see the label on the bottle before anything goes into my

veins i always like to make sure that anything that goes inside my body i always like to

have a good it is i can't even get to the end there's a joke coming where there's a

joke coming yes it is coming eventually but i keep laughing at my own joke anything that

goes into my body i always like to i can't say it i always like to have a close look

at it first particularly if it's if it's going to be a little prick yes

i'm talking about the needle on the vaccine of course i mean what else would i be talking

about

oh i've made you laugh mr duncan it had to happen eventually it's very true

any more jokes mr duncan that was funny that was that was very funny so i was going to

make it even ruder but i decided not to and we were talking about something so serious

but i'm having my vaccination on friday but mohsen has just has had his was it your first

or second yes we'll be interested to know i've just had my i had my second one yes oh

steve steve is such a big fairy he really is really oh i've had my second jab oh i have

to have a lie down now oh

that's not nothing like it mr duncan

but at least i've had mine you've been putting yourself for weeks don't touch my arm it's

um i don't know who you're impersonating there but it's certainly not me it's you you know

it's true oh there's lots of lots of chat today i can't keep up with it uh i just can't

keep up with it yes what does pun mean somebody said pun is a is a joke which uses a word

to make the actual joke like steve just that was it yes but i can't explain why that's

funny because it's also rude alexandra has explained that it was a double on tommy yes

so you use a word well actually pun and double entendre are not always the same thing quite

often a double entendre is is maybe a joke with a rude meaning so you are using an innocent

word an innocent simple word but it also has a rude meaning as well so like mr steve's

joke that he made a few moments can i repeat it no please don't right yes yeah so that's

it a double entrant yes an innocent word that also can sound rude neutral phrase i think

nick tram might be a comedian here we go here's another one i shall get ready let me just

get ready with my uh with my canned laughter my laughter nitram says why can't you explain

puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally

yes that's it was that a fake laugh uh i'm very poor at understanding jokes uh so kleptomaniac

is somebody that can't help stealing yes or is always stealing a lot that's it yes and

uh go and explain the joke mr duncan well yes well if you take something literally it

means you are taking it at its real it is absolute real meaning so you are not putting

any other meaning into it besides its actual meaning so the literal meaning is what it

actually does mean however and this happens in many languages you can use words and phrases

to mean other things and quite often they can be very subtle so jokes sometimes can

can have very subtle endings or punch lines i've got it now nitram yes take things yes

literally because if you take something that's another word for stealing yes got it now you

take it literally you take it literally it means you you are taking the the all of them

the words and the meanings exactly as they are written some people say that about the

clever joke some people say that about the bible you see some people take the words in

the bible literally so they say all of those words are actually what you should follow

whilst other people say no no it's not literal so they are i i suppose the word would be

an allegorical oh i like that word so an allegory is a word that expresses a story that has

a meaning but quite often it is not to be taken literally that was a that was hard work

why don't sharks attack lawyers ah okay i don't know says john john joseph 10 professional

courtesy

i'm sure it's a joke mr duncan we just haven't seen it why sharks don't attack lawyers or

why don't sharks attack lawyers answer oh i see professional courtesy because they both

have something in common they are both sharks oh yes of course yeah these these jokes are

getting too clever for me mr duncan yes so so you think of a shark as being one of those

horrible big creatures in the sea you know from jaws

unscrupulous so and lawyers tend to be people who have no feelings they are ruthless and

they have no feelings and they are often described as sharks yes so that's very clever professional

courtesy means they are equals so neither will say anything bad about the other they're

respecting each other the sharks and the lawyers who are both bad are respecting each other

the sharks not attacking the lawyer because because it knows that the lawyer is the same

as itself so it's just being professional yes so it's actually a very clever joke that's

a good joke thank you very much it took me five minutes to explain it but it's a good

yes i like that chuck that is uh that's a lot better than yours mr duncan i think they

are much better than my jokes yes i thought my jokes were a pile of old rubbish yes oh

yes uh victoria says i like oscar wilde's irony oh yes i can resist anything except

temptation yes that's it you say oscar wilde he had he had a silver tongue got him into

uh not resisting temptation of course got him into a lot of trouble yes oscar wilde

he liked he liked his dalliances he liked i'm not saying anything else i'm going to

i'm going to get into trouble if i say anything else oscar wilde some some brilliant quotes

as well of course i might be lying in the gutter but some of us are looking up at the

stars i like that one that's not a joke no that isn't a joke that's just a deep meaning

some of us are enjoying the view even though we are lying in the gutter

we are still enjoying oh nissan's come got another joke for us um okay uh i don't know

if we've got the answer let's see if we've got the answer before i read it out lisa have

you given us the answer to your joke okay uh you haven't given the answer to your joke

which is why don't cox lay eggs um but i can't see the answer anywhere

uh i tried to think i don't i don't really want to know the answer to that it might be

rude beatrice i had the same problem after the after my first vaccine oh okay what happened

fever and headaches yes and tired for two days that's what i had well that's just normal

that's normal for steve true that's true yeah he has all of those things every day anyway

i didn't get anything on the second one we are having some messages come through saying

mr duncan can you please turn on the subtitles unfortunately they they don't work unfortunately

they used to work they used to work really well and then youtube made some changes and

now they don't work at all however there is good news because later after this has finished

i know it's it's completely useless now me telling you but later there will be some captions

later i promise there will be subtitles on the recording not now i can't help it it's

technical it's all to do with youtube it's made some changes and now i can't get them

it's really annoying for me as well and that's no joke yes because because i i like to read

the captions just to just to find out what i just said no yeah we can't put them on no

because youtube have changed things they keep changing things dear youtube can you can you

please stop changing things but can people switch on subtitles for their own language

can people do no no no don't stop captions don't work canvassers don't work at all there's

no captions at all they want you to pay for it don't they even if even if you press the

button the captions button is there but it it doesn't work it doesn't do anything but

there will be captions later okay okay what what's a tiger running a copying machine called

says leah what is a tiger that is running or operating a copying machine called

i don't know what that i can't read that one what's the difference between a run over lower

and a dog hmm don't quite understand that what's the difference between

a run over lower and a dog so maybe it's a run run over lover i don't know i don't know

sergio i have a feeling do you think it might be rude it could be uh beatrice is going oh

no but mosin's going sorry moses is going to see you later mohsen thank you next week

thank you for your contribution

we've got that yes ah right do cuckoos steal crow's neck eggs from their nest says is that

a joke i'm not sure it might be a question i think it's a question uh well they do steal

eggs out of birds nests i don't know if they do what what cuckoos do they they lay their

own eggs in other birds nests and then throw the other eggs out yes well the chicks the

chicks when they hatch out the first thing they do is push the other eggs out themselves

so it's not even the adult it's actually the can you believe it it's the other chicks the

cuckoo chicks will actually push the eggs the other eggs out from the nest and sometimes

they will even push each other so the cuckoo the little chick will push another cuckoo

chick out of the nest as well very good jokes they don't care you see those cuckoos they

just don't care uh here's one from john again did you hear about the new restaurant called

karma there's no menu you get what you deserve

no that's quite good i like that one

karma being that sort of spiritual thing that says that uh if you do good things good things

will come back to you you do bad things bad things will come back to you so if you go

to a restaurant called karma you get food there's no menu in proportion to whether you've

been good or bad yes there's no menu you just get what you deserve i like that no that's

a good one that might be one of my favourites how about this one from nitram i trust neither

stairs nor atoms stairs nor atoms okay why stairs are always up to something and atoms

make up everything yeah clever clever much heavier much cleverer than our jokes that's

a good one yes yeah any joke that has a little bit of some subatomic particle puns is always

good by me always good can't be back yes yes so have you got any other jokes mr duncan

do i have any other jokes what do you call

a man who has a k-pop boy band on his head

what's a k-pop boy band the k-pop boy band is a korean boy band okay so what do you call

a man who has a k-pop boy band on his head

um but he'd have to be a very large man wouldn't he not necessarily okay um i don't know what

do you call a man with a k-pop band on his head you call him stan i don't get it

i suppose stan is a man's name in england yeah and stan must also refer to korean pop

groups in some way but i don't know why well it's actually more in reference to to their

fans because this is what the young people do nowadays you see if you are a very big

fan of someone you will actually describe yourself as a stan stan do you know where

that comes from no it comes from the an eminem song called stan which is about a fanatical

fan hence stan so a person who will stand by the person that they are a fan of they

follow them they might even be very very very keen on them so there you go that's it that's

my joke that's my joke what do you call a man with a k-pop boy band on his head you

call him stan is that your own joke that's my own joke i made that up oh dear uh joseph

says uh here's a sort of english related joke uh a woman in labour suddenly shouted shouldn't

wouldn't couldn't didn't can't don't worry said the doc those are just contractions i

like it okay i like that one that's especially clever because this is an english teaching

channel that's very good and you have taught people about contractions which i don't know

anything about no and of course when you're going into labour having a baby you get contractions

you know which is painful is a good one comfortable so i hear well these jokes are coming through

very quickly now we have we have english themed jokes i know you're getting very subtle contractions

by the way are when you shorten a sentence and you normally abbreviate it such as do

not becomes don't so don't is a contraction cannot becomes can't oh i see so something

contracts it gets smaller yes literally that's right yes you are literally contracting you

are making the words smaller and when a woman is going into labour they describe that as

contractions i presume muscles are contracting trying to push the baby out and thus causing

pain and discomfort can you imagine that can you imagine pushing a baby out of your front

body my mother's told me all about uh how she gave birth to me i've had it many times

in lots of details well did didn't you fly out like like a bullet out of a gun didn't

it was quite a big baby so you still are that's mine that's a joke steve still is a big baby

yes and uh you know my mother told me about the damage that was caused to her anatomy

was it from her v to her to her a

that's the stitches were involved and of course if you if you tell a joke then uh your sides

uh you get stitches in your sides don't you what do you say what's the phrase your sides

will split your side will split uh stitches but how do you how do you say that and you

you do talk about having oh yes don't make me laugh so much i'll need stitches yeah that's

what you say the implication is you're laughing so hard it's painful yeah so you're going

to need your sides sewing up of course your sides might split open but also you might

also pee your pants as well i laughed so much i think i may have peed my pants a little

bit here's another one from john you're churning them out churning them out meaning that you're

producing a lot of something in this case jokes did you hear about the claustrophobic

astronaut he just needed a little space

i like that one that's a good one good one it's a good one yes uh why does the cockroach

shut its eyes when singing early in the morning it says anaki well i don't even know if i

want to hear this it might be rude why does the cockerel shut its eyes whilst singing

early in the morning i don't know please tell us well i don't know either i'm waiting for

the answer oh okay said it if child labour is a crime then why does the teacher give

homework ah they're very good hmm well you don't have to do it you could just say you

don't you can just say your dog ate it i've i've read it out now so you don't have to

keep putting it in okay the chat

yes yes but why does the cockroach shut its eyes while singing early in the morning we

want to know please give us the answer unless it's rude in which case don't tell us keep

it to yourself uh hmm yes jokes here unbelievable says sergio they are are they unbelievable

because they're not funny or are they unbelievable because they are actually funny looks like

louis is going oh au revoir see you later louis don't forget i am back during the week

as well as we enter a new month

a new month june is just around the corner and next week we're going away aren't we next

week yes yes well on tuesday hopefully we are going for a drive we might do we won't

want to give that away yes not that we've got anything valuable here why what do you

mean well you don't normally publicly announce that you're going away uh because if anyone

knows where you live they'll know they can come and rob your house look if you can close

to announce that on facebook if you could well it's not facebook other social medias

this is youtube i know but it's well it is it is a sort of you know a very public forum

yeah so shall we say so we're not going anywhere on tuesday no way if anyone breaks into this

house i i will actually help you to find something that's valuable i'm going if you find something

can you tell me please because there's nothing there's nothing of value in this house anyway

we've got all the alarms set the guard dogs the neighbours coming around to have a look

so the neighbours are very nosy oh yeah they don't miss anything around here even at night

they've all got their binoculars out they have one we have one neighbour and she walks

around the streets during the early hours of the morning we call her the beast of well

the area in which we live

i nearly said too much then we're going to have a break because we mentioned we're going

away sometimes we are whenever that is sometime in the future sometime in the future between

now and the end of time we are going away a date not to be revealed do you remember

when we went to ludlow castle with your mum yes i do yes well guess what prepare to have

your memory refreshed because we're going there right now

that music goes all over the place i'm never quite sure where that music is going to actually

end up it's funny music it's funny music i hope you enjoyed that that was one of our

many visits many visits around this area and that was ludlow castle with your mum and did

you just did you see the dragon as well the the the i'm not talking about steve's mum

there no did you see oh that's a joke did you see the old dragon no no no again i'm

not talking about steve's mum the old dragon the the dragon that breathes the hot fire

and gets very angry over nothing no no i'm still not talking about mr steve's mom but

that is that is a joke that um that married men make about their mothers-in-law yes or

the wife or the wife they call them dragons that's quite you know a derogatory term for

your wife yes so it's not a dragon it's not a good thing nev never call your wife after

a fire breathing creature that are definitely real of mythological origin no they're real

well definitely real according to your mum yes yes my mother did have a moment of uh

i mean she's 90. another moment of humour when she saw that dragon and said i can't

believe that there used to be creatures roaming around like that many you know hundreds of

years ago and i said well you are joking aren't you and uh after a short pause mum said of

course but i don't think she was so so your mum actually thinks dragons are real we had

a laugh over that we had a laugh together over that shropshire is how you pronounce

that word john yes you can say shropshire or shropshire if you're posh you would give

shropshire but yes the the basic basic pronunciation shropshire shropshire shropshire shropshire

and uh interesting that john comments that we were driving on the wrong side yeah uh

well we were driving on the right side of the uk yes which is on the left yes right

so so the right side is the left side but of course for you the right the left side

is the wrong side but for you the right side is the right side but for us the right side

is the wrong side because we drive on the left i'm getting very dizzy here

so which side of the road do we drive on mr duncan the left right no left right oh oh

i see what you're doing there right i got it because you can say right okay yeah we

seem to be turning into abert against uh abbott and costello you can't say that by the way

it's very hard to say abbott and costello sergio's commenting on us driving on the left

as well the nerve who's on next uh good play on words mr duncan yes a lot of cards on the

a lot of cars on the road i didn't see that mr duncan no i think there weren't i don't

think there were there were any right maybe when we were looking in the distance you could

see the road yes mr bruno says hello mr bruno hello mr bruno how can the left side be the

right side yes because right has two meanings see there's a joke yes the right side mean

it can if you're talking about on the right yes that's the right yes but if something

is correct that's you also say right so that's steve's right but of course yes to you that's

left so so this is this is actually your right as you're looking at me this is right but

to me this is left oh that is your left though it's just the camera reverses things no it

doesn't doesn't it no no if you're youtube as you're looking there that's that's the

screen so if i put my left hand up it's on my right as i look at it yes but if i put

my right right hand up it's the left hand on the screen right right there so that's

the same as being in front of somebody yes that that that's what everyone is seeing now

all of the millions and millions of people watching what are our favourite comedy movies

asks nitram i have oh yeah well that's easy for me i like planes trains and automobiles

one of my favourite movies very funny indeed i also like a movie called napoleon dynamite

which steve has never seen he's never seen it i don't believe i have and also there is

a movie that i love called freddy got fingered which is as bad as it sounds what about your

favourite i don't know if i've got a favourite comedy i do like um mr mr um i watch that

one with uh i can never i can never remember people's names or the names of anything i'm

very very bad at that i get that from my mother um that was that famous detective uh who's

the famous detective english detective guaro no that's french

english i said english mr duncan uh you know lives in london uh baskerville oh sherlock

holmes yes what's that film um of mr sherlock holmes's younger brother what's that for oh

i see well that's it you just that's what it's called shark holds his younger brother

yes with gene wilder gene wilder that's one of my favourite films and marty feldman marty

feldman yeah hilarious very good but in terms of comedy shows seinfeld is probably my favourite

thing

don't don't don't larry hilarious the larry sanders show uh is equally funny and of course

i do like family guy okay because it's anarchic anarchic

and sometimes very naughty sometimes very naughty it's it's amazing that you can um

you can say things in a cartoon and depict things in a cartoon that you cannot do when

you've got actual humans acting uh so in a comedy show with people in it you there are

many restrictions on what you can tell jokes about but not when it comes to cartoons time

why are you pointing to your watch in that annoying fashion mr duncan well because we

have 20 minutes left and we have to do the sentence game today's sentence game is a special

one because it has all words connected to humour so all of the words today are connected

in some way to humour telling jokes making a joke maybe a person who tells jokes maybe

a type of joke so all of those things are coming up in a few moments

some like it hot oh that is a great movie victoria's favourite of course it has the

most famous line ever at the end when where is it i think it's tony curtis and jack lemon

but they are both dressed as ladies and in the film there is a man who actually falls

in love with jack lemon i think it's jack lemon and at the end they're going off in

a speedboat and as a desperate way of getting away from this man he says i'm a woman sorry

i'm not a woman i'm a man and the the guy who who is in love with jack lemon says well

nobody's perfect and that's brilliant and that then the the the film ends and it's one

of the most famous endings ever in movie history besides citizen kane john's going to get a

shower thank you for your company and your jokes today you've brought something to the

party something to the party we've explained that one before please never say shower just

means that in the present company you bring something interesting for everybody to laugh

at or knowledge or something yes knowledge or something it doesn't have to be food you

know you've you've brought laughter and jollity and humour into this situation you know i'm

thinking of changing this show to what you just said what's that well knowledge and everything

okay right yeah okay welcome to knowledge in everything

sentence game mr duncan we've got 20 minutes yes i think we should less than 20 minutes

yes 17 minutes 17 minutes that is plenty of time for us to play the game that we all love

playing get yourself a piece of paper prepare to write these things down because it's time

to play the sentence game tip

ah the sentence game is here again

jamilia says yes what about the sitcom frasier yeah it's okay but i never thought it was

hilarious fraser now that was for people who who i think were thought they were intelligent

and they wanted to seem intelligent with their friends they say oh yes did you watch fraser

last night oh i like fraser oh it's so sophisticated ooh gotta be careful because jumeirah likes

that oh okay i'm not saying that to be sophisticated i'm just saying sometimes i think you're very

sophisticated a bit like people a bit like people who laugh at some of the jokes on the

big bang theory even though they don't actually understand the joke because quite often they

are very esoteric and to do with science but people still laugh because they think it just

makes them look smarter if they laugh at the joke even though they don't know what the

joke is there is a guy on youtube who has made a brilliant video talking all about this

the the lunacy of of the big bang theory and why technically it's not actually funny because

the people who are laughing at the scientific jokes don't actually understand the science

behind it yeah maybe they do i don't know what everyone so everyone understands astrophysics

but the early as we've said before the first four seasons of the big bang theory were genuinely

funny but since then it has not become as funny well it's been a bit formulaic but it

doesn't exist anymore if something is formulaic it means it follows a pattern that we all

know about yes well i like it when they were just nerds that's right but then they got

girlfriends and got married and all of that and then it just became a very boring romantic

sitcom yes exactly like the rest of my friends we used to like a lot we used to like friends

but it ate it's aged yes very big this week of course i'm sick and tired of people talking

about the friends reunion this week which premiered in the uk have you seen the friends

reunion have you seen it have you seen it yet have you seen the friends reunion no i

haven't no nor have i i'm not going to either for two reasons first of all i thought it

was a bit misleading because i thought it was actually an episode of friends where they

all meet together as their characters but it wasn't it was just the actors sitting around

with lots of other celebrities and also james corden oh well that's there's no way you're

going to watch it sergio says here's a left the mighty boosh sergio well that that wouldn't

ex yes not many people know about that show british tv yes and if you like the mighty

boosh sergio i think you would also like um what's that comedy about the people on i.t

doing i.t again you're you're virtually saying what the title is i t is it called i.t the

i.t crowd the i.t crowd because somebody from the mighty bouche is in that makes occasional

guest appearances in fact there are two people from the mighty bouche yes matt berry is also

in the mighty bouche so sergio have you seen uh the i.t crowd yes i think you would like

that if you like the mighty boosh anyway anyway please tell us if you've seen it anyway we

are trying to play the sentence game would you like to play the sentence game mr steve

i would these are all words missing from the sentences as usual but they are all connected

to humour types of humour maybe something to do with humour richard says i like benny

hill benny hill yes he was very funny very funny uh but again that is a type a style

of humour that has gone out of fashion in the uk it's still very i mean still very fashionable

in other parts of the world but in the uk they don't show repeats very sadly they don't

show repeats of benny hill because because of the politically correct climate that we

live in now a lot of well they say that he was they say that he was a misogynist in his

humour but i don't think so it was all a bit of fun if it makes you laugh look if you no

one's offended if you want to chase me around a park and then crank the film rate up to

about 10 times what it normally is and then play some funny music over the top of it it's

fine i i don't mind i i you can chase me anywhere chase me across the park up the hill down

the hill anywhere right sentence game we've only got now what 11 minutes 11 minutes and

we have an answer already have we i didn't know you put one on the screen oh yes i even

missed that right you're something of something is very right i love that steve pays so much

attention to what is happening on the screen yeah there it is there can you see there it's

underneath yeah we have it looks like jimmy's got it yes oh and this tram yes nick tram

the champ and jimmy have both got it congratulations that means we can we can get this one out

of the way move on yes we can move on much quickly quickly quicker quicker not quickly

yes um benny hill is sort of bawdy humour yes maybe a little bit rude rude as has alexandre

has pointed out so not for everyone no but then we can't see it anymore because it's

not shown no although there are lots and lots of benny hill clips on youtube oh good here

we go then here's the answer and

come on mr cockerel it's a bit late he was a bit slow there well you know what these

cocks are like sometimes when they get old they uh

they take a

they take a while to uh is that that's not even a double entendre they take a while to

spring up get pills for that mr duncan yeah well you would know how i don't know here

we go the answer to the first sentence game is yes your sense of humour is very dry dry

dry a person who has a dry sense of humour maybe their jokes are very subtle maybe they

are a lot of people say that british humour is very dry sarcasm we often use sarcasm in

british comedy and british humour so i i think we are very good at sarcasm i think the british

are very good at that and you have classic television shows like the office people think

of the office as having very dry humour because it involves real situations where people are

quite often being maybe sarcastic or rude to each other it takes a little slice of real

life so yes i think british humour british humour is very dry and sometimes a little

sarcastic it can be but american humour well it's very sarcastic uh in fact there are some

shows where every line that comes out of one of the actors is sarcasm they just go from

one sarcastic line to another yes in some american comedy that's one of the reasons

why we like seinfeld because the the the characters in that quite often are very sarcastic they

are literally sarcastic so it's being humorous and being nasty at the same time nessa says

i need a new cock. okay right well sadly that's not something that medical science can help

with at the moment sorry uh no you know oh you are right sorry yeah i got the wrong meaning

then uh mr duncan you thought you were joking you said you you literally got the wrong end

of the stick belarus is going by belarusia see you later claw claudia claudia i like

that clown we are calling her claudia now i like that name by the way very nice so here's

another one we have another sentence game coming up steve it is it is now on the screen

i feel as if i have to tell you this because clearly you are not paying attention here

it is so here's another one steve uh you are so something you have such a something something

so maybe a person who can come up with jokes very quickly mr steve often says this to me

because i can sometimes come up with jokes very quickly or or maybe puns i can i can

come up with a very quickly you are so you are so something you have such a something

something anarchy says that in spanish um sarcasm is called acid humor oh yes so something

that's causing pain yes or when you say it to somebody yeah it's corrosive yes interesting

i i like monty python it says here from jeff sebin hello hello jeff i like monty python

i wish to register a complaint about this animal that i bought not half an hour ago

from this very boutique oh yes sir what's the problem with it i'll tell you what the

problem is it's dead there you go and that's jeff from brazil hello jeff the famous parrot

sketch yes uh and so we've got moises from brazil we've got jeff from brazil we have

a lot of people watching from brazil he's pining for the field pining for the fuel and

pedro is from brazil is he not as well yes so yes lots of people watching us from brazil

even though pedro's gone uh we know he's from brazil

right very very alright so what suggestions you are so something okay you have such a

something something ah nissa you've got it very very very very close oh i think vitoria's

got it yes victoria i think you are one of the first with the correct answer to that

one ooh very nice yeah definitely okay then mr cockrell not that it's a competition no

well it isn't a competition it's just something to pass the time away whilst improving your

english

you are so

witty you have such a quick mind yes witty so a person who is witty as a person who is

able to make jokes or they have a very good sense of humour yes so you are so witty you

have such a quick mind you are able to think of jokes very quickly in real time not just

jokes if you're witty it just means you're coming out with funny things doesn't have

to be a full-on joke no did you see the one about the you know it can just be you just

see humour in everything and make comment about it and make people laugh somebody who's

witty is is different as to a joke teller so you are so witty and not to be confused

with professor chris whitty that's a different witty he's actually the opposite he's the

opposite of witty that's right he never makes me laugh have you noticed professor chris

whitty never ever makes me laugh for people who don't know who he is i think i think everyone

knows do they well in the uk they might yeah i think around the world as well professor

chris whitty his name is very ironic because he's not very funny yes he's not very funny

because he's always giving us bad news about the uh pandemic yes he's our sort of one of

our i think he's scientific advisor isn't he that's it uh government yes anyway let's

have another one i might be able to squeeze another one in as the well you had a joke

as the vicar said to the actress i've got a joke because we this that you said that

no paper ever picked up or news reporter which we you i thought was very funny and you came

up with this joke so we've got this professor who's been advising the government on uh the

pandemic and appears on television telling us all to put masks on or how bad it's all

going to get and he kept coming on you know over the last year quite regularly uh and

you said oh it's all gone chris witty which is rhyming slang rhyming slang for it's all

gone shitty okay and that's it we're all gone we only get one of those we only get one youtube

will only let us say that word once yes so that's it we've said it so it's rhyming slang

it's all gone chris witty it means it's all gone wrong everything has gone bad which it

has quite often what would be the opposite of a witty person hmm that's interesting yes

that's that's a good question well somebody who's witty might be a little maybe dull or

maybe somebody with no sense of humour unfunny you could say unfunny there isn't a quick

word that's opposite to witty no no i don't think humorous humourless no well i said humour

humorous is funny so humourless would be unfunny would be the opposite of that so you have

humour you are funny you are witty you have no humour you are unfunny you are un humorous

i'm not sure there is a direct opposite to witty like there is too humorous yes

there's mr steve sneezing i always sneeze at least once on a live stream very good normally

halfway through not towards the end witty i'm not sure there is a direct opposite to

that no i don't think there is because you think of a witty person as being naturally

funny but that's because they are that is an exceptional thing so it's not it's not

a normal thing you don't normally come across or meet witty people it's very unusual you

wouldn't and you would say oh such a it's a very witty person you wouldn't normally

say the opposite the opposite of that you wouldn't normally say to somebody you're very

unfunny uh because they're not humourless aren't you because they're not trying to be

yes exactly but humourless is good humourless i like that that's good that's a good one

steve okay one more and then we're out of here we are going to skidaddle as they say

yes cup of tea and tea cake a cup of tea tea cake and an episode of columbo the big question

of course the weather's too good for that mr duncan we might watch columbo outside in

the garden have you have you shown what the outside looks like today yes yes but it's

behind us now of course it's live isn't it that that now is outside that's live you can

see the heat rising yes and there is another view as well so this is the other view outside

right now there it at that is that blue sky it's not lovely look at that so that is the

sky it's a beautiful day here in england it's very nice and of course we have a long weekend

because it's the public holiday as well here we go then this is our final sentence game

and then we are going someone in the something kept something him during his something humorous

words we're looking for humorous at least the sentence is humorous yes there is humour

or words connected to humor in this i think moore has got it oh yes already yes already

wow that's incredible miura you are very quick there wow very quick off the mark i don't

yes more i don't think you i don't think you need to be on our channel at all your english

is so good i don't know how we could possibly improve it i think sometimes you know what

happens sometimes as well we do have people who speak english and they come here just

to watch because they're fascinated by this it's like looking at a goldfish bowl and you're

watching the fish go around but it's but instead of a fish bowl it's us i often feel like i'm

drowning when i'm on this show

i need feeding there we go i think i think what are you going to get a tea cake shoved

in your mouth about 10 minutes from now good that sounds good to me here we go then here's

the answer mr cockerel for the final time someone in the something kept something him

during his something hmm we haven't heard we haven't had a murder there steve we haven't

heard a murmur from guess who who likes the sentence game we haven't heard of yes nothing

but what's happened to what's happened to tomic where's tomic gone is he still here

was on earlier because he was saying how terrible today's live streaming he was joking he was

joking but there we go yes people are going already so well done tomorrow yes including

me because the answer is someone in the audience kept heckling him during his routine yes so

if you heckle it means you are shouting abuse or maybe you are trying to put the person

off doing what they're doing rubbish yes rubbish get off get off what a load of rubbish my

grandmother is funnier than you go on boo get off call yourself a comedian you're not

very funny are you what a stupid shirt what a stupid shirt what a what else what a stupid

web show who do you think you are go away and the routine of course is his or her act

act the routine is the cut is the comedy act the thing the thing they are performing it's

a routine it's something they do lots of times probably done the same uh presentation uh

in many other comedy places clark i can't contain myself any longer because we've come

to the end of today's live stream we've been on for two hours check your watch you can

see we are coming up now to two hours i've been here sukhana says that they're from canada

is that right brilliant you mean canada with a c not a k canada i don't know that we've

had anybody watching us from canada before we do sometimes have canadians watching but

it's been lovely to have you here i've got a relative living in canada i'm not going

to say who or where they are but they are in canada well they are in canada so yes so

there is the where and they're getting married next year okay and we're supposed to be going

there to the wedding yes but we're not we're not because we we're invited there is no way

i'm flying all the way to canada to go to a wedding you think i'm mad it seems like

a large expense for a few days isn't it from here i mean it's a long way to go just for

a wedding how far would you go to a wedding well i mean if they were you know if they

were to say well we'd like you to come to the wedding we'll pay for the flights in the

hotel the flight and of course the flight will have to be first class i mean if it's

in the uk you just drive there there's no real expense to you apart from your time but

if someone says i'm getting married and it's in a country thousands of miles away which

is you know seven eight hours by plane yes you know unless they sort of incentivize it

in some way incentivize it yes by saying to you well i would love you to come to the wedding

we'll pay for the airfare well then yes i'll go well you would expect that but yeah who

is going to go to a wedding that means you have to get on a plane for seven hours no

it isn't happening if it's being paid for yes if not no yes if you are paying for the

flight whoever you are and you are sending us first class well it would have to be first

class and you are putting us up you are going to treat us to a very expensive hotel in canada

although i'm not sure if if there are oh there are other very wealthy place is canada canada

really yes it snows there all the time not all the time it's very hot there at the moment

it's 30 degrees is it where my my where my relative is because my mother has told me

your mother has told you because it's hot in canada she communicates via you know the

internet the internet apparently this is the new this is the new code for internet don't

forget kids facetime don't forget kids when you're talking to your hip teenage friends

tomorrow don't forget this is you say i was on the internet and this is the new sign that

you use valentina went to a wedding in uh russia uh but how far away was it yes i mean

were you in russia at the time i don't know tomic says uh that's woken tomac up while

he was always there couldn't resist okay just go there don't be stingy just go there and

have fun i'm not going all the way to canada for a bloody wedding i i know once the furthest

we've ever been is is actually the netherlands we went we went all the way to amsterdam for

a wedding yes to a wedding actually yes but then we were it was a place that we wanted

to visit you see we've always been interested in going amsterdam netherlands that part of

europe a very interesting area so yeah so we went there and yeah we went to our wedding

i'm saving for my retirement tomic so you know i can't i can't i can't afford to spend

five thousand pounds on a trip to a wedding no more than that that might you know that

might well i'm 90 that i might need that money yes you might need it before then exactly

much much better i live in italy says valentina and went all the way to russia well well all

i can say it must have been a very good friend we're looking very mean right now no i don't

think so i think so people are thinking we're lean what what's spending thousands and thousands

of pounds to go to someone's wedding i don't think no that's not happening just go there

and have fun we wouldn't have fun we wouldn't have fun either no i don't like weddings you

know you know why i don't like weddings because we always end up on the sad table we do they

always push us on the sad taste we always end up with all of the the sad people the

the lonely people people with nervous tics and and all of the people that are basically

slightly broken odd broken we always end up on the table with of odd people so we we call

that the sad table and every every wedding has one yes every wedding any occasion there

is always the one table where they put all of the people that they don't want to mix

with anyone else or all the relatives they don't like all the people that are slightly

odd maybe their sexual orientation isn't you know doesn't fit in with the rest of the crowd

push them on that table or stick them at the back of the hall and then it won't upset the

main guests every year every time we go to a party a wedding or anything we always end

up on the sad table yes we do that is very true

we sound very mean and bitter we are i'm not no i'm not speak for yourself i'm full of

bitterness you are i'm bitter to my core you're as bitter as a lemon and on that note yes

are we telling a joke before we go or are we just going i think that was a pretty good

joke we just told there about being on the sad table goodbye from thailand goodbye we

we are we're going now i might have a little cry later yes nitram you could go there for

a holiday and the wedding would just happen to be at the same time well that's a very

good idea but i don't want to go to canada why not i'm not interested well it's well

then it's scenery well a huge place can you have it somewhere else not that many people

per square mile can can they have it in a place that i want to visit well i'd like to

go actually that was my original idea that we would go but mr duncan doesn't want to

go i'm blaming you well you can still go i'm going to go on my own please go please go

to canada please right we're still on in fact people we've got more people now than we had

on when we first came home we're getting controversial now starting to get you know twisted well

going to a wedding is controversial not going to one not being so mean i mean you have got

a point we are being a bit mean not going i think but it would be about it'd be about

10 000 pounds together i don't think it would be that much would it i think it would be

a lot if you you want to go to you know you want comfort on the plane i want to be able

to spread my legs you've got very long legs got very long legs this is the problem i have

because my troubles my legs are very long i need my leg room or else i have to i have

to put them up over my shoulders which is something i i can do very easily surprisingly

i didn't know you were that bendy mr duncan oh i'm bendy right okay very bendy has it

come in handy it has it she it has its uses right i'm hungry actually mr duncan my stomach

is rumbling you're hungry i'm hungry i'm pleased to meet you i'm very pleased to meet you oh

there we go that was a joke

goodbye everyone lovely to be here thank you steve share a bit of fun and frivolity with

you all today frivolity and i'm now going to make of course a cup of tina tk yes and

watch columbo i'm not sure if i'm going to do that today because it's just too nice i

will i will uh half an hour half an hour we've seen them all anyway yes we always know what's

good it's just easy watching isn't it okay i get the feeling you don't want to go i don't

actually i'm getting really into the spirit of it now i'm suddenly feeling alive and uh

ready for more yes you're full ago full of beans full of beans actually i'm full of beans

because we had baked beans at two nights in a row i actually am full of beans literally

i wonder what the smell was yes my stomach's inflating with gas okay good right bye-bye

everyone are you going to fade me away professionally we are we're going to close close the door

on you right now

he's gone mr steve has left the building that's it it's time to say goodbye oh i tell you

something that was hard work today that was that was very hard work that's all i can say

so it's almost time to say goodbye i hope you've enjoyed today's live stream it has

been an interesting one we've been talking about humor we've been chatting with mr steve

about various things including his mother

dragons we've been telling some jokes we played the sentence game of course as well and we

discovered some some very interesting things about are travel arrangements that's all i'm

saying thank you for your company today i hope you've enjoyed today's live stream i've

enjoyed it i will be back with you during the week however there is something i must

mention now next week of course sees the arrival of june but also we have a very busy week

next week because i'm going to see my mother and also i'm going to have my coronavirus

injection on friday as well

i insist that it is going to be the pfizer jab i hope so i will be asking and i'm going

to have a look at the bottle just to make sure no funny business and i will see you

later i hope you've enjoyed today's live stream this is mr duncan in the birthplace of english

saying thank you for watching i hope you've enjoyed today's live stream very much and

i hope you've enjoyed it as much as i have because i've i've enjoyed it i don't know

about you but i've really enjoyed it and if you think that you like it then why not show

your appreciation by giving me a thumbs up please give me a lovely thumb and then youtube

will let other people see this as well which is really nice and then i don't have to go

up and jump off the roof thank you very much for your lovely messages thank you nitram

thank you jeff thank you also monica thank you very much see you very soon take care

because i care okay okay and of course until the next time we meet here you know what's

coming next

ta ta for now