The 2 essential skills you need for great conversations

322,758 views ใƒป 2018-06-13

ENGLISH with James


์•„๋ž˜ ์˜๋ฌธ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ”ํด๋ฆญํ•˜์‹œ๋ฉด ์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋ฒˆ์—ญ๋œ ์ž๋ง‰์€ ๊ธฐ๊ณ„ ๋ฒˆ์—ญ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.

00:02
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo.
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๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘๋‘ ๋‘๋‘
00:05
Oh, hi. James from engVid.
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์˜ค, ์•ˆ๋…•. engVid์˜ ์ œ์ž„์Šค.
00:08
Today I wanted to talk to you about two tips on conversation.
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์˜ค๋Š˜ ์ €๋Š” ๋Œ€ํ™”์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๋‘ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ํŒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:15
These tips I think can have you...
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๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๊ธฐ์— ์ด ํŒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์„...
00:16
Help you have an amazing conversation, make you really interesting...
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๋†€๋ผ์šด ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ํ•˜๋„๋ก ๋„์™€์ฃผ๊ณ , ๋‹น์‹ ์„ ์ •๋ง ํฅ๋ฏธ๋กญ๊ฒŒ ๋งŒ๋“ญ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค...
00:21
Actually, make people really interested in you so you can keep having conversation.
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์‚ฌ์‹ค, ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ์ •๋ง๋กœ ๊ด€์‹ฌ์„ ๊ฐ–๊ฒŒ ๋งŒ๋“ค์–ด ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๊ณ„์†ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋„๋ก ํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
00:26
After all, it's the practice that we need to get better, and if people don't want to
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๊ฒฐ๊ตญ, ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๋” ๋‚˜์•„์ง€๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ํ•„์š”ํ•œ ์—ฐ์Šต์ด๊ณ  ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด
00:30
talk to you, you can't improve.
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๋‹น์‹ ๊ณผ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋Š”๋‹ค๋ฉด ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ฐœ์„ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:32
So quickly we'll go to the board and you'll see Mr. E has boxing gloves, and it says:
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๋นจ๋ฆฌ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋ณด๋“œ๋กœ ๊ฐ€์„œ Mr. E๊ฐ€ ๊ถŒํˆฌ ๊ธ€๋Ÿฌ๋ธŒ๋ฅผ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ๊ณ 
00:38
"1, 2".
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"1, 2"๋ผ๊ณ  ์“ฐ์—ฌ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ณด๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:39
In boxing, the "old one-two" is a jab and a straight punch.
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๊ถŒํˆฌ์—์„œ "์˜ค๋ž˜๋œ ์›ํˆฌ"๋Š” ์žฝ๊ณผ ์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์ดํŠธ ํŽ€์น˜์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:43
Why?
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์™œ?
00:44
It's very effective and it gets the job quickly done so you can take out your opponent.
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๋งค์šฐ ํšจ๊ณผ์ ์ด๋ฉฐ ์‹ ์†ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ์ž‘์—…์„ ์™„๋ฃŒํ•˜์—ฌ ์ƒ๋Œ€๋ฅผ ์ œ๊ฑฐํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:49
In this case, what I want to do is teach you two things that you can use in combination
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์ด ๊ฒฝ์šฐ, ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด
00:55
to make people you speak to enjoy the conversation with you, want to practice more, or talk to
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๋งํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ๋‹น์‹ ๊ณผ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ์ฆ๊ธฐ๊ณ , ๋” ์—ฐ์Šตํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜,
01:02
you more so you get more practice.
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๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋” ๋งŽ์ด ๋Œ€ํ™”ํ•˜๋„๋ก ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ์กฐํ•ฉํ•˜์—ฌ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๋‘ ๊ฐ€์ง€๋ฅผ ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์ณ ์ฃผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:03
Are you ready?
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์ค€๋น„ ๋˜์—ˆ๋‚˜์š”?
01:04
Let's go to the board.
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๋ณด๋“œ์— ๊ฐ€์ž.
01:06
So, how to knock them out with killer conversation tips, 1 and 2.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ํ‚ฌ๋Ÿฌ ๋Œ€ํ™” ์š”๋ น 1๊ณผ 2๋กœ ๊ทธ๋“ค์„ ๋…น์•„์›ƒ์‹œํ‚ค๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•.
01:13
For most people when they're practicing or when they want to improve conversation, they
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๋Œ€๋ถ€๋ถ„์˜ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ์—ฐ์Šตํ•  ๋•Œ๋‚˜ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๊ฐœ์„ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์„ ๋•Œ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ
01:18
think: "I need to talk a lot because if I get to talk a lot I'll get better."
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์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‚˜์„๊ฑฐ์•ผ."
01:23
That's 50% of the equation, because in any conversation there's the speaker and the listener,
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ฐฉ์ •์‹์˜ 50%์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์™œ๋ƒํ•˜๋ฉด ๋ชจ๋“  ๋Œ€ํ™”์—๋Š” ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๊ณผ ๋“ฃ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด
01:30
and both parts must be worked on, because if you have a healthy balance the person who
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์žˆ๊ณ  ๋‘ ๋ถ€๋ถ„ ๋ชจ๋‘ ์ž‘์—…ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์™œ๋ƒํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ฑด๊ฐ•ํ•œ ๊ท ํ˜•์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด
01:34
is listening to you will want you to continue, but usually they want to speak as well.
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๋‹น์‹ ์„ ๋“ฃ๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ณ„์†ํ•˜๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์›ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ด์ง€๋งŒ ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์œผ๋กœ ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ์›ํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋งํ•˜๊ธฐ๋„ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:40
In a lot of conversations, something that will make a conversation go well is empathy,
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๋งŽ์€ ๋Œ€ํ™”์—์„œ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ์ž˜ ์ด๋Œ์–ด์ฃผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ณต๊ฐ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:46
which "empathy" means: "I understand what you're saying.
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"๊ณต๊ฐ"์€ " ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ดํ•ดํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:50
I also want to know how you feel."
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๋˜ํ•œ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๋Š๋ผ๋Š”์ง€ ์•Œ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."๋ฅผ ์˜๋ฏธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:54
Another part of it is energy, people want to be excited.
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์˜ ๋˜ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋ถ€๋ถ„์€ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ํฅ๋ถ„ํ•˜๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์›ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:56
Nobody wants to talk to a person who talks like this on the whole subject, it wants...
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๋ชจ๋“  ์ฃผ์ œ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด๋Ÿฐ ์‹์œผ๋กœ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๊ณผ
02:02
It makes them want to stop talking to you.
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์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์€ ์•„๋ฌด๋„ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:04
That energy or lack of energy can be on your part or their part.
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๊ทธ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€ ๋˜๋Š” ์—๋„ˆ์ง€ ๋ถ€์กฑ์€ ๊ท€ํ•˜ ๋˜๋Š” ๊ทธ๋“ค์˜ ์ผ๋ถ€์ผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:09
In this lesson I want to address both things, empathy and energy, to teach you how to raise
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์ด ์ˆ˜์—…์—์„œ ์ €๋Š” ๋Œ€ํ™”์—์„œ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€๊ฐ€ ๋‚ฎ์„ ๋•Œ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€๋ฅผ ๋†’์ด๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์„ ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์น˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ๊ณต๊ฐ๊ณผ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€ ๋‘ ๊ฐ€์ง€๋ฅผ ๋ชจ๋‘ ๋‹ค๋ฃจ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:14
the energy in a conversation if it's low; and teach you empathy, how to feel or get
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ณต๊ฐ์„ ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์น˜๊ณ 
02:21
them to feel in the conversation so they care, because if they care, they share.
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๋Œ€ํ™”์—์„œ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๋Š๋ผ๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๋Š๋ผ๋„๋ก ํ•˜์—ฌ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๊ด€์‹ฌ์„ ๊ฐ€์ง€๋ฉด ๊ณต์œ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:25
Are you ready?
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์ค€๋น„ ๋˜์—ˆ๋‚˜์š”?
02:26
Let's go to the board.
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๋ณด๋“œ์— ๊ฐ€์ž.
02:27
Let's talk about empathy.
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๊ณต๊ฐ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•ด ๋ด…์‹œ๋‹ค. ๋Œ€ํ™”
02:30
One of the biggest parts of a conversation is empathy.
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์˜ ๊ฐ€์žฅ ํฐ ๋ถ€๋ถ„ ์ค‘ ํ•˜๋‚˜๋Š” ๊ณต๊ฐ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:34
When a person cares about the conversation, they stay in it, they're excited about it,
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์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ๋Œ€ํ™”์— ์‹ ๊ฒฝ์„ ์“ฐ๋ฉด ๊ทธ ์•ˆ์— ๋จธ๋ฌผ๊ณ  ํฅ๋ถ„ํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์—
02:39
so it's one way to raise energy.
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์—๋„ˆ์ง€๋ฅผ ๋†’์ด๋Š” ํ•œ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:42
A lot of times when we're talking we make the mistake of thinking: "Okay, well, I've
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ํ•  ๋•Œ "์ข‹์•„์š”,
02:45
got a lot to tell people", and we get excited, so we have a lot of energy, you're talking
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์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ํ•  ๋ง์ด ๋งŽ์•„์š”"๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋Š” ์‹ค์ˆ˜๋ฅผ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒฝ์šฐ๊ฐ€ ๋งŽ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:50
about: "I got a new car the other day.
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: " ์ €๋ฒˆ์— ์ƒˆ ์ฐจ๋ฅผ ์ƒ€์–ด์š”.
02:52
It's an amazing car.
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์ •๋ง ๋ฉ‹์ง„ ์ฐจ์—์š”.
02:54
It's got, like, bucket seats.
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๋งˆ์น˜ ๋ฒ„ํ‚ท ์‹œํŠธ ๊ฐ™์€ ๊ฒƒ์ด ์žˆ์–ด์š”.
02:55
The seats warm up in the winter.
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์ขŒ์„์€ ๊ฒจ์šธ์— ๋”ฐ๋œปํ•ด์ง‘๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:57
Canada's cold.
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์บ๋‚˜๋‹ค๋Š” ์ถฅ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:58
The steering wheel warms up.
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์Šคํ‹ฐ์–ด๋ง ํœ ์ด ๋”ฐ๋œปํ•ด์ง‘๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:00
I got a really good price on it.
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์ •๋ง ์ข‹์€ ๊ฐ€๊ฒฉ์— ์ƒ€์–ด์š”.
03:01
I...
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๋‚˜...
03:02
I...
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๋‚˜...๋‚˜
03:03
I...
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...๋‚˜
03:04
I...
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...๋‚˜...๋‚˜...๋‚˜
03:05
I...
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03:06
I...
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03:07
I...
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...
03:08
I..." the magic "I".
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๋‚˜..." ๋งˆ๋ฒ•์˜ "๋‚˜".
03:09
Now, it's good for me because I get to say: "I", see?
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์ด์ œ "๋‚˜"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์ €์—๊ฒŒ ์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:10
Me and I, but for a listener it gets boring because they're like: "Ah, ah".
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๋‚˜์™€ ๋‚˜, ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์ฒญ์ทจ์ž์—๊ฒŒ๋Š” "์•„, ์•„"์™€ ๊ฐ™๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์ง€๋ฃจํ•ด์ง‘๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:15
They want to talk.
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๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:17
So a way to change that around, you might say: "Well, I'll just use 'you'.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ฐ”๊พธ๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์€ ๋‹ค์Œ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์ด ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
03:20
I'll say: 'How about you?
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03:21
You, you, you'".
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.
03:22
That's okay, that's a good start, putting it on them.
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๊ดœ์ฐฎ์•„์š”, ์ข‹์€ ์‹œ์ž‘์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:26
But if you want to show empathy to get them interested in the conversation, what you might
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์ƒ๋Œ€๋ฐฉ์ด ๋Œ€ํ™”์— ๊ด€์‹ฌ์„ ๊ฐ–๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ๊ณต๊ฐ์„ ํ‘œ์‹œํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ๋‹ค๋ฉด ์ง€๊ธˆ ๋ณด์—ฌ๋“œ๋ฆด
03:30
want to say is one of two sentences I will show you now because when you say these sentences
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๋‘ ๋ฌธ์žฅ ์ค‘ ํ•˜๋‚˜๋ฅผ ๋งํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:37
it makes the person know you care about them, not just about you.
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๋„ˆ.
03:41
And in inviting them to speak about something gives them the opportunity to put their opinion
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ์–ด๋–ค ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋งํ•˜๋„๋ก ์ดˆ๋Œ€ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ๊ทธ๋“ค์˜ ์˜๊ฒฌ์„ ๋งํ•  ๊ธฐํšŒ๋ฅผ ์ฃผ๊ธฐ
03:47
in, so no matter how the conversation goes, they will remember that they were part of
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๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๋Œ€ํ™”๊ฐ€ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ง„ํ–‰๋˜๋“  ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋ฐฉ๊ธˆ ๋งํ•œ ๊ฐ•์˜๊ฐ€ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ ๋Œ€ํ™”์˜ ์ผ๋ถ€์˜€๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
03:53
a conversation, not a lecture where you just spoke about you.
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.
03:57
And they will also probably remember the conversation in a more positive way, which means later
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ๋˜ํ•œ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋” ๊ธ์ •์ ์ธ ๋ฐฉ์‹์œผ๋กœ ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ฆ‰, ๋‚˜์ค‘์—
04:02
on they'll want to talk to you.
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๋‹น์‹ ๊ณผ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:04
So what are these magic sentences that change everything?
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๊ทธ๋ ‡๋‹ค๋ฉด ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ฐ”๊พธ๋Š” ๋งˆ๋ฒ•์˜ ๋ฌธ์žฅ์€ ๋ฌด์—‡์ผ๊นŒ์š” ?
04:06
Well, you say it...
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๊ธ€์Ž„, ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋งํ•œ๋‹ค...
04:08
Well, you know them, but how often do you say it?
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๊ธ€์Ž„, ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์„ ์•Œ๊ณ  ์žˆ์ง€๋งŒ ์–ผ๋งˆ๋‚˜ ์ž์ฃผ ๋งํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
04:11
The first one is: "How do you feel about that?", or: "How do you feel about it?", or: "What
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์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ๋Š” "๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์„ธ์š”?" ๋˜๋Š” "๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์„ธ์š”?" ๋˜๋Š” "
04:16
do you think about that?"
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์„ธ์š”?"์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:17
I know it sounds mechanical and it might be hard to use, but play with me for a second.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด ๊ธฐ๊ณ„์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋“ค๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๊ธฐ ์–ด๋ ค์šธ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ๊ณ  ์žˆ์ง€๋งŒ ์ž ์‹œ ์ €์™€ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์—ฐ์ฃผํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
04:24
So, Mr. E, I'm talking and I'm like: "So, you know, I got that car I was telling you
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ Mr. E, ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š”๋ฐ ์ €๋Š” ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:29
about.
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04:30
I got a really good deal, dah-dah-dah.
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04:31
You know, it's got these seats and that."
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์ด ์ž๋ฆฌ์™€ ์ € ์ž๋ฆฌ."
04:33
Mr. E is over here: "Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
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E ์”จ๋Š” ์—ฌ๊ธฐ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:38
Mm-hmm, yeah."
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04:39
It's only a matter of time before he takes out his cellphone, looks at his watch and
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๊ทธ๊ฐ€ ํœด๋Œ€ํฐ์„ ๊บผ๋‚ด ์‹œ๊ณ„๋ฅผ ๋ณด๊ณ 
04:44
says: "I have to go."
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"๊ฐ€์•ผ ํ•ด"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์‹œ๊ฐ„ ๋ฌธ์ œ์ผ ๋ฟ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:45
It's all about me.
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๋‚˜์— ๊ด€ํ•œ ๋ชจ๋“ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:47
Now, if I'm smart and I'm just: "Dah-dah-dah", and I notice he's like: "Uh-huh, uh-huh",
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์ด์ œ ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๋˜‘๋˜‘ํ•˜๊ณ  "Dah-dah-dah"์ด๊ณ  ๊ทธ๊ฐ€ "Uh-huh, uh-huh"์™€ ๊ฐ™๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ๊ฒŒ ๋˜๋ฉด
04:52
then I might turn around and say: "You know what?
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๋Œ์•„์„œ์„œ "๊ทธ๊ฑฐ ์•Œ์•„?
04:55
How do you feel about that?
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์„ธ์š”?
04:56
I mean, you said you needed to get a new car, and how do you feel about the cars that are
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๋‚ด ๋ง์€, ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ƒˆ ์ฐจ๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ์•ผ ํ•œ๋‹ค๊ณ  ํ–ˆ๊ณ , ๊ฑฐ๊ธฐ์— ์žˆ๋Š” ์ฐจ๋‚˜ ๊ฐ€๊ฒฉ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์„ธ์š”
05:01
there or the prices, or...?"
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, ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ฉด...?"
05:03
And they'll: "Oh, you want my opinion, you care about me."
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ "์˜ค, ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋‚ด ์˜๊ฒฌ์„ ์›ํ•˜๊ณ  ๋‚˜๋ฅผ ๊ฑฑ์ •ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."
05:07
Now Mr. E is involved in the conversation again, and then he will get to talk.
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์ด์ œ Mr.E๊ฐ€ ๋‹ค์‹œ ๋Œ€ํ™”์— ์ฐธ์—ฌํ•˜๊ณ  ๋‚˜์„œ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:12
This is when it's time for you to shh and listen, because by asking this kind of a question
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์‰ฌ์‰ฌํ•˜๊ณ  ๋“ค์–ด์•ผ ํ•  ๋•Œ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์™œ๋ƒํ•˜๋ฉด ์ด๋Ÿฐ ์ข…๋ฅ˜์˜ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์„ ํ•จ์œผ๋กœ์จ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๊ณ„์†ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋„๋ก
05:18
you invite them to give you information so you can continue the conversation.
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๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ์ •๋ณด๋ฅผ ์ œ๊ณตํ•˜๋„๋ก ๊ทธ๋“ค์„ ์ดˆ๋Œ€ํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
05:22
Because he might say: "Ah, I'm not really into getting a new car.
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์™œ๋ƒํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ทธ๋Š” "์•„, ๋‚˜๋Š” ์ƒˆ ์ฐจ๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์ง€ ์•Š์•„.
05:26
It's doubtful about my job.
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๋‚ด ์ง์—…์ด ์˜์‹ฌ์Šค๋Ÿฌ์›Œ.
05:28
I don't know what's going to be happening."
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๋ฌด์Šจ ์ผ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚ ์ง€ ๋ชจ๋ฅด๊ฒ ์–ด."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:29
You go: "Hey, what's happening in your life?
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ "์ด๋ด, ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์ธ์ƒ์—์„œ ๋ฌด์Šจ ์ผ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
05:31
What's going on with your job?"
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๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์ง์—…์— ๋ฌด์Šจ ์ผ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?"
05:33
Now they get to express themselves, make an...
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์ด์ œ ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ์ž์‹ ์„ ํ‘œํ˜„ํ•˜๊ณ ... ์•Œ๋‹ค์‹œํ”ผ
05:36
You know, put an opinion on what you were talking about further about...
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, ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋งํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์˜๊ฒฌ์„ ์ œ์‹œํ•˜๊ณ  ...
05:40
Further the conversation about themselves, they're into it.
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๋” ๋‚˜์•„๊ฐ€ ์ž์‹ ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๋Œ€ํ™”์— ์ฐธ์—ฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
05:43
When they walk away now, they're going to think: "It was really nice talking to that
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๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ์ง€๊ธˆ ๋– ๋‚  ๋•Œ ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๊ณผ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ •๋ง ์ข‹์•˜์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
05:47
person."
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."
05:48
Right?
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์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ?
05:49
That's tip number one.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ํŒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:50
Tip number two, because that was empathy, get them to feel.
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ํŒ 2๋ฒˆ์€ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด ๊ณต๊ฐ์ด์—ˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋Š๋ผ๋„๋ก ํ•˜์„ธ์š”. ์žฌ๋ฏธ์žˆ๋Š” ๋Œ€ํ™”
05:54
Feeling is important for an interesting conversation.
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์—๋Š” ๋Š๋‚Œ์ด ์ค‘์š”ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
05:58
Energy.
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์—๋„ˆ์ง€.
05:59
Now, in this case you were talking too much about yourself because you were all energetic
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์ž, ์ด ๊ฒฝ์šฐ์— ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์€ ๋ชจ๋‘ ํ™œ๊ธฐ์ฐจ๊ณ 
06:04
and chatting, chatting, chatting.
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์ˆ˜๋‹ค๋ฅผ ๋–จ๊ณ  ์ˆ˜๋‹ค๋ฅผ ๋–จ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์ž์‹ ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋งŽ์ด ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ
06:06
Energy is a different thing here.
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์—๋„ˆ์ง€๋Š” ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:08
What I want to talk about is: When you have a conversation with someone and they're not
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์ œ๊ฐ€ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์™€ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚˜๋ˆ„๋Š”๋ฐ ๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์—†์„ ๋•Œ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
06:12
into it.
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.
06:13
So look at my face.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‹ˆ ๋‚ด ์–ผ๊ตด์„ ๋ด.
06:16
I will be two characters, character A and character B, or 1 and 2.
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๋‚˜๋Š” ์บ๋ฆญํ„ฐ A์™€ ์บ๋ฆญํ„ฐ B, ๋˜๋Š” 1๊ณผ 2์˜ ๋‘ ์บ๋ฆญํ„ฐ๊ฐ€ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:19
So, 1, I'm like: "Hey, man.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ 1์€ "์ด๋ด,
06:20
I got a new car.
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์ƒˆ ์ฐจ๋ฅผ ์ƒ€์–ด.
06:21
It's really cool.
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์ •๋ง ๋ฉ‹์ ธ.
06:22
Oh, I'm so excited about it.
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์•„, ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๊ธฐ๋Œ€๋ผ. .
06:24
Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah."
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๋‹ค๋‹ค๋‹ค๋‹ค๋‹ค๋‹ค."
06:25
And the other person's like: "Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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์ƒ๋Œ€๋ฐฉ์€ "๊ทธ๋ž˜, ๊ทธ๋ž˜, ๊ทธ๋ž˜.
06:27
Mm-hmm.
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์Œ-ํ .
06:28
Mm-hmm."
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์Œ-ํ ."
06:29
And you go: -"So, what about yourself?
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์€ - "๊ทธ๋Ÿผ ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์–ด๋–ป์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
06:30
What are you doing now?"
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ง€๊ธˆ ๋ฌด์—‡์„ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?"
06:31
-"Well, you know, I've just got this new job."
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-"๊ธ€์Ž„์š”, ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋ฐฉ๊ธˆ ์ด ์ƒˆ ์ง์žฅ์„ ๊ตฌํ–ˆ์–ด์š”."
06:34
And they go: "I just got a new job."
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"๋ฐฉ๊ธˆ ์ƒˆ ์ง์žฅ์„ ๊ตฌํ–ˆ์–ด์š”."
06:36
They don't really look at you, they just kind of drop it off...
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๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์„ ์ณ๋‹ค๋ณด์ง€๋„ ์•Š๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ๋–จ์–ด๋œจ๋ฆฝ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค...
06:41
Normally what you would say: "Oh, so tell me about the new job."
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์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ: "์˜ค, ๊ทธ๋Ÿผ ์ƒˆ ์ง์žฅ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋งํ•ด์ฃผ์„ธ์š”."
06:43
And then they'll go: "Oh, yeah, yeah, it's okay, you know, pays me a bit more money.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ "์˜ค, ๊ทธ๋ž˜, ๊ทธ๋ž˜, ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์•„. ๋ˆ์„ ์ข€ ๋” ์ฃผ๋ฉด ๋ผ.
06:47
You know, it's a new job."
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์ƒˆ ์ง์žฅ์ด์•ผ."
06:50
The conversation is dying.
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๋Œ€ํ™”๊ฐ€ ์ฃฝ์–ด ๊ฐ€๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:51
A better example of that would help you think about this is if you've ever been on a date,
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์ด๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ ๋„์›€์ด ๋˜๋Š” ๋” ์ข‹์€ ์˜ˆ๋Š” ๋ฐ์ดํŠธ๋ฅผ ํ•œ ์ ์ด
06:56
and you ask your date: -"So, how do you like the food?"
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์žˆ๊ณ  ๋ฐ์ดํŠธ ์ƒ๋Œ€์—๊ฒŒ ๋‹ค์Œ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์ด ๋ฌป๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. -"๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์Œ์‹์ด ์–ด๋•Œ์š”?"
07:01
-"Ah, it's okay."
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-"์•„, ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์•„."
07:03
-"Oh.
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-"์•„.
07:04
Did you see...?
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๋ดค์–ด...? ๋ฐฉ๊ธˆ ๋‚˜์˜จ
07:05
Did you see that new movie that just came out?"
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๊ทธ ์ƒˆ ์˜ํ™” ๋ดค์–ด ?"
07:08
-"No, no, no.
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-"์•„๋‹ˆ, ์•„๋‹ˆ, ์•„๋‹ˆ.
07:09
What about it?"
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์–ด๋•Œ?"
07:10
And you find yourself talking and sweating the whole time.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ํ•ญ์ƒ ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ๋•€์„ ํ˜๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ž์‹ ์„ ๋ฐœ๊ฒฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
07:15
Here's a little trick I'm going to teach you: Use the word: "Okay."
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์ œ๊ฐ€ ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์ณ ๋“œ๋ฆด ์•ฝ๊ฐ„์˜ ์š”๋ น์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . "์ข‹์•„"๋ผ๋Š” ๋‹จ์–ด๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
07:19
Huh?
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๋ญ?
07:20
Well, don't just say: "Okay", say it like this: "Okay.
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์Œ, "์ข‹์•„"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜์ง€ ๋ง๊ณ  ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•˜์„ธ์š”. "์ข‹์•„.
07:26
Hmm, okay."
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ํ , ์ข‹์•„."
07:29
Flat.
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ํ‰ํ‰ํ•œ.
07:31
Why?
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์™œ?
07:32
When you say the word: "Okay" like that, or even if you go: "Yeah, sure.
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๋‹น์‹ ์ด "์•Œ์•˜์–ด"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ๋•Œ , ๋˜๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์ด "๊ทธ๋ž˜, ๊ทธ๋ž˜. ๊ทธ๋ž˜
07:38
Sure", flat, it makes the person...
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"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋”๋ผ๋„, ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์„ ๋ฌด๋ฏธ๊ฑด์กฐํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋งŒ๋“ญ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:40
You're telling the person: "Go on."
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์—๊ฒŒ "๊ณ„์†ํ•˜์„ธ์š”."
07:42
It's like saying: "And...?"
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"๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ...?"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:44
Now, remember the conversation about the date?
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์ด์ œ ๋‚ ์งœ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•˜์‹ญ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
07:46
I want you to think of another situation.
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์ƒํ™ฉ์„ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด ๋ณด์…จ์œผ๋ฉด ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:48
You walk in your boss' office and you say: "Okay, boss, I've done that project for you
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ƒ์‚ฌ์˜ ์‚ฌ๋ฌด์‹ค์— ๋“ค์–ด๊ฐ€์„œ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "์•Œ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ƒ์‚ฌ๋‹˜, ์˜ค๋Š˜ ๊ทธ ํ”„๋กœ์ ํŠธ๋ฅผ ์™„๋ฃŒํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
07:54
today."
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."
07:55
She looks up at you and she goes: "Okay."
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๊ทธ๋…€๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์„ ์˜ฌ๋ ค๋‹ค๋ณด๋ฉฐ ๋งํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "์•Œ์•˜์–ด."
07:58
And then you're like: "And I talked to Johnny like you told me to", and they look at you
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์€ "๋‚˜๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋‚˜์—๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ Johnny์™€ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์„
08:04
again and say: "Okay", because they keep saying to you: "And...?
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๋‹ค์‹œ๋ณด๊ณ  "์ข‹์•„"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ๊ณ„์† ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ "๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ...?
08:10
Go on."
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๊ณ„์†ํ•˜์„ธ์š”."
08:11
You can even say: "And" as well, like: "And...?
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"๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ "๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ...?
08:14
And...?"
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ...?"
08:15
It means: "I'm not really impressed.
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" ๋ณ„๋กœ ๊ฐ๋ช…๋ฐ›์ง€ ์•Š์•˜์–ด์š”.
08:18
It sounds interesting maybe for you, but what makes it interesting for me?"
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๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ๋Š” ํฅ๋ฏธ๋กœ์šธ ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์ง€๋งŒ, ์ œ๊ฒŒ๋Š” ์–ด๋–ค ์ ์ด ํฅ๋ฏธ๋กœ์šธ๊นŒ์š”?"
08:23
This causes the person you're speaking to, to raise their energy level.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์˜ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€ ์ˆ˜์ค€์„ ๋†’์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ
08:28
They will then have to go: "Oh, so, yeah, and food's really good here, and..."
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๋‹ค์Œ ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ "์˜ค, ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ, ์˜ˆ, ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์—ฌ๊ธฐ ์Œ์‹์€ ์ •๋ง ๋ง›์žˆ๊ณ ..." ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด
08:34
As soon as you hear them take a pause and then start speaking, you'll notice they raise
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์ž ์‹œ ๋ฉˆ์ถ”๊ณ  ๋ง์„ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋“ฃ์ž๋งˆ์ž, ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋ชฉ์†Œ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ๋†’์ด๊ณ  ์‹œ๋„ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ์•„์ฐจ๋ฆด ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋Œ€ํ™”์—
08:39
their voice and they try to bring more energy to the conversation, because your: "And",
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๋” ๋งŽ์€ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€๋ฅผ ๊ฐ€์ ธ์˜ค๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด , ์™œ๋ƒํ•˜๋ฉด ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ "๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ "๋Š”
08:45
like the boss is like: "And" or your "Okay" is like: "Okay, so what?
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์ƒ์‚ฌ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ "๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ " ๋˜๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ " ์ข‹์•„"๋Š” ๋‹ค์Œ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค: "์ข‹์•„,
08:50
And, so what?
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๋ญ?
08:53
Impress me.
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08:54
And in order to impress me, you're going to have to raise your energy."
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๋‚˜์—๊ฒŒ ๊ฐ๋™์„ ์ค˜, ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€๋ฅผ ๋†’์—ฌ์•ผ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."
08:58
After they've done that, you can turn around and then start being excited yourself.
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๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ํ•œ ํ›„์—, ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋Œ์•„์„œ์„œ ์Šค์Šค๋กœ ํฅ๋ถ„ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:02
Right?
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์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ?
09:03
Remember?
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๊ธฐ์–ตํ•˜๋‹ค?
09:04
And then we can even use this one, go back to the empathy thing, where it's like: "So,
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋‚˜์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ด๊ฒƒ์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ณต๊ฐ์— ๊ด€ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์œผ๋กœ ๋Œ์•„๊ฐ€์„œ, "๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ,
09:06
and then how do you feel about that new job and what have you?"
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๊ทธ ์ƒˆ๋กœ์šด ์ง์—…์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋ฌด์—‡์„ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?"
09:09
Get them more excited.
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๊ทธ๋“ค์„ ๋” ํฅ๋ถ„ํ•˜๊ฒŒํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
09:10
But up until that point in time, if they're being what we call lackluster and not showing
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ ์‹œ์ ๊นŒ์ง€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ์†Œ์œ„ ๋ฌด๊ธฐ๋ ฅํ•˜๊ณ 
09:15
energy or not interested, it's much better that you stick with the: "Okay, and...?
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์—๋„ˆ์ง€๊ฐ€ ์—†๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์—†๋‹ค๋ฉด "๊ทธ๋ž˜, ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ...?
09:20
So?"
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ?"
09:21
Okay?
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์ข‹์•„์š”?
09:22
Cool?
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์‹œ์›ํ•œ?
09:23
You like that?
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ์‹์œผ๋กœ?
09:24
Good.
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์ข‹์€. ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๊ฐœ์„ ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ
09:25
They're little tricks to help you improve your conversation.
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๋„์›€์ด ๋˜๋Š” ์ž‘์€ ํŠธ๋ฆญ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
09:27
But a trick is only a trick until we can make it a tool, and what I mean by that is: Make
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ ํŠธ๋ฆญ์€ ๋„๊ตฌ๋กœ ๋งŒ๋“ค ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„ ๋•Œ๊นŒ์ง€ ํŠธ๋ฆญ์ผ ๋ฟ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์˜๋ฏธํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ”๋Š” ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ํ–ฅ์ƒ์‹œํ‚ค๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด
09:32
it something that you can use on a regular basis to enhance your conversations to make
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์ •๊ธฐ์ ์œผ๋กœ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ๋งŒ๋“ค์–ด
09:37
them useful so you get the practice you need.
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๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ์œ ์šฉํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋งŒ๋“ค์–ด ํ•„์š”ํ•œ ์—ฐ์Šต์„ ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:40
You ready?
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๋‹น์‹  ์ค€๋น„?
09:41
It's bonus time.
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๋ณด๋„ˆ์Šค ์‹œ๊ฐ„์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:42
[Snaps]
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[Snaps]
09:43
Okay, so we talked about energy and empathy.
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์ข‹์•„์š”, ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์—๋„ˆ์ง€์™€ ๊ณต๊ฐ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:47
Think Einstein: E=MC2.
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์•„์ธ์Šˆํƒ€์ธ์„ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด๋ณด์„ธ์š”: E=MC2.
09:49
Right?
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์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ?
09:50
The two things you need together to have a good conversation.
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์ข‹์€ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚˜๋ˆ„๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ํ•จ๊ป˜ ํ•„์š”ํ•œ ๋‘ ๊ฐ€์ง€.
09:54
One is to bring someone to speak to you, another is if they're not energetic or interested,
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ํ•˜๋‚˜๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•  ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ๋ฐ๋ ค์˜ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด๊ณ , ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ํ•˜๋‚˜๋Š” ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ํ™œ๋ ฅ์ด ์—†๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์—†๋‹ค๋ฉด
10:00
to make them more.
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๊ทธ๋“ค์„ ๋” ๋งŽ์ด ๋งŒ๋“œ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:02
But do you remember at the beginning I talked to you about a 1, 2 punch?
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๊ทผ๋ฐ ์ฒ˜์Œ์— ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ 1, 2 ํŽ€์น˜์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ–ˆ๋˜ ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•˜์‹ญ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
10:06
You can use 1 or you could use the other, but in a 1, 2 punch we use them together to
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1์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๊ฒƒ์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์ง€๋งŒ 1, 2 ํŽ€์น˜์—์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์„ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์—ฌ
10:11
be highly effective, and that's what we're going to do here.
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๋งค์šฐ ํšจ๊ณผ์ ์ด๋ฉฐ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์ด ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:15
If you know Nelson Mandela, I'm going to do a bonus part for you, as always.
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๋„ฌ์Šจ ๋งŒ๋ธ๋ผ๋ฅผ ์•„์‹œ๋Š” ๋ถ„์ด๋ผ๋ฉด ์–ธ์ œ๋‚˜์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ๋ณด๋„ˆ์Šค ํŒŒํŠธ๋ฅผ ํ•ด๋“œ๋ฆฌ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:20
Nelson Mandela was a leader of South Africa.
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๋„ฌ์Šจ ๋งŒ๋ธ๋ผ๋Š” ๋‚จ์•„ํ”„๋ฆฌ์นด ๊ณตํ™”๊ตญ์˜ ์ง€๋„์ž์˜€์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:22
He went to jail.
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๊ทธ๋Š” ๊ฐ์˜ฅ์— ๊ฐ”๋‹ค.
10:23
He was very successful from going to jail and being in an apartheid situation to freeing
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๊ทธ๋Š” ๊ฐ์˜ฅ์— ๊ฐ€๊ณ  ์•„ํŒŒ๋ฅดํŠธํ—ค์ดํŠธ ์ƒํ™ฉ์— ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์—์„œ๋ถ€ํ„ฐ
10:30
his people and then leading his people after being in jail.
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๊ทธ์˜ ๋ฐฑ์„ฑ์„ ํ•ด๋ฐฉ์‹œํ‚ค๊ณ  ๊ฐ์˜ฅ์— ๊ฐ‡ํžŒ ํ›„์— ๊ทธ์˜ ๋ฐฑ์„ฑ์„ ์ด๋„๋Š” ๋ฐ ๋งค์šฐ ์„ฑ๊ณต์ ์ด์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:34
Now, Nelson Mandela was a son of a tribal prince...
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์ž, ๋„ฌ์Šจ ๋งŒ๋ธ๋ผ๋Š” ๋ถ€์กฑ์˜ ์™•์ž...
10:38
Or a king.
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๋˜๋Š” ์™•์˜ ์•„๋“ค์ด์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:39
So, tribes are groups of people of similar background that live together.
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ๋ถ€์กฑ์€ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์‚ฌ๋Š” ๋น„์Šทํ•œ ๋ฐฐ๊ฒฝ์„ ๊ฐ€์ง„ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์˜ ์ง‘๋‹จ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:43
And you can find them all over in North America with the Indian tribes.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋ถ๋ฏธ ์ „์—ญ์—์„œ ์ธ๋””์–ธ ๋ถ€์กฑ๊ณผ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ๊ทธ๋“ค์„ ์ฐพ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:47
Sometimes they're called casts or sects, but generally a group of people living together
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๋•Œ๋•Œ๋กœ ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ์บ์ŠคํŠธ ๋˜๋Š” ๋ถ„ํŒŒ๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ถ€๋ฅด์ง€ ๋งŒ ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์œผ๋กœ ํ•œ ์ง€์—ญ์—์„œ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ์‚ฌ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์˜ ๊ทธ๋ฃน์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
10:54
in an area.
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.
10:55
Anyway, he is...
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์–ด์จŒ๋“ , ๊ทธ๋Š”...
10:57
King was...
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์™•์€...
10:58
His father was a tribal king, and he taught Nelson Mandela two things.
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๊ทธ์˜ ์•„๋ฒ„์ง€๋Š” ๋ถ€์กฑ์˜ ์™•์ด์—ˆ๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋Š” ๋„ฌ์Šจ ๋งŒ๋ธ๋ผ์—๊ฒŒ ๋‘ ๊ฐ€์ง€๋ฅผ ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์ณค์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:02
Number one, always make your table round, not square, so everyone's equal.
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์ฒซ์งธ, ํ•ญ์ƒ ํ…Œ์ด๋ธ”์„ ์ •์‚ฌ๊ฐํ˜•์ด ์•„๋‹Œ ๋‘ฅ๊ธ€๊ฒŒ ๋งŒ๋“ค์–ด ๋ชจ๋“  ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ํ‰๋“ฑํ•˜๋„๋ก ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:08
And number two, which is important for this conversation, he said: "Be the last to speak",
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ด ๋Œ€ํ™”์—์„œ ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ๋‘ ๋ฒˆ์งธ๋Š” ๊ทธ๊ฐ€ ๋งํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "๋งˆ์ง€๋ง‰์œผ๋กœ ๋งํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค
11:14
and I'm going to add the part: Be the first to listen.
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." ๋ง์„
11:17
The reason in make...
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ํ•˜๋Š” ์ด์œ ๋Š”...
11:18
You know, being the last to speak is you get to hear what someone has to say, and before
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๋งˆ์ง€๋ง‰์œผ๋กœ ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ๋œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์˜ ๋ง์„ ๋“ค์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ณ ,
11:22
you say something and have to take it back or seem silly, you get to understand their
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๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ์ทจ์†Œํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์–ด๋ฆฌ์„์€ ๊ฒƒ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ๋ณด์ด๊ธฐ ์ „์— ๊ทธ๋“ค์˜ ์š”์ ์„ ์ดํ•ดํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋˜๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋‹ค์Œ
11:27
point and then you can speak in an intelligent way.
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์ง€๋Šฅ์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:32
How we're going to do that is by using these two things we just learned today on empathy
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์€ ์˜ค๋Š˜ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๊ณต๊ฐ๊ณผ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋ฐฐ์šด ์ด ๋‘ ๊ฐ€์ง€๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
11:38
and energy.
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11:39
So the first thing we could do: Get information.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ์ผ์€ ์ •๋ณด๋ฅผ ์–ป๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:42
When someone's speaking to you, you can say: "Okay."
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€ ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•  ๋•Œ "์ข‹์•„์š”"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:44
Now, remember, if you want them to raise their energy level, you would say: "Okay...?
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์ž, ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•˜์„ธ์š”. ๋งŒ์•ฝ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๊ทธ๋“ค์˜ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€ ๋ ˆ๋ฒจ์„ ์˜ฌ๋ฆฌ๊ธธ ์›ํ•œ๋‹ค๋ฉด, ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค: "์•Œ์•˜์–ด...?
11:49
Okay...?"
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์•Œ์•˜์–ด...?"
11:50
Or you could go: "Oh, okay.
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๋˜๋Š” "์˜ค, ์•Œ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:52
Okay", and use it energetically yourself to get them or promote them to give you information.
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์•Œ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ์ •๋ณด๋ฅผ ์ œ๊ณตํ•˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ์ •๋ณด๋ฅผ ์–ป๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ํ™๋ณดํ•˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ์Šค์Šค๋กœ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:57
And then halfway through it we can then demonstrate empathy and go: "So, you're going to get a
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋‹ค์Œ ์ค‘๊ฐ„์— ๊ณต๊ฐ์„ ํ‘œ์‹œํ•˜๊ณ  ๋‹ค์Œ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์ด ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
12:01
new job, okay."
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.
12:03
So they can say: "Oh, I need it, because..."
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "์˜ค, ๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ํ•„์š”ํ•ด์š”. ์™œ๋ƒ๋ฉด..."
12:06
Then you go: "Okay, okay.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋ฉด ๋‹น์‹ ์€ "์•Œ์•˜์–ด ์•Œ์•˜์–ด. ์ง์—…์„ ๋ฐ”๊ฟ”์•ผ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์—
12:07
And how do you feel about having to change careers?"
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๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋‹ˆ ?"
12:10
Now we've used energy, getting them to get more excited about it, and then asking them
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์ด์ œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์—๋„ˆ์ง€๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์—ฌ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋” ํฅ๋ถ„ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ํ•œ ๋‹ค์Œ ๋‹ค์Œ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์ด
12:14
to give us some of that energy by saying: "Hey, tell me about how you feel.
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๋งํ•จ์œผ๋กœ์จ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์—๊ฒŒ ๊ทธ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€์˜ ์ผ๋ถ€๋ฅผ ์ œ๊ณตํ•˜๋„๋ก ์š”์ฒญํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:18
Tell me what you think", so they can give you more information, but in a very positive...
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๋” ๋งŽ์€ ์ •๋ณด๋ฅผ ์ œ๊ณตํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๋งค์šฐ ๊ธ์ •์ ์œผ๋กœ...
12:25
You say vibrant, but excited way so they're really happy to talk to you, regardless what
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ํ™œ๊ธฐ์ฐจ๊ณ  ํฅ๋ถ„๋œ ๋ฐฉ์‹์œผ๋กœ ๋งํ•˜๋ฉด ๋Œ€ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋ฌด์—‡์ด๋“ 
12:30
the conversation is, whether it's being upset and being able to express their feelings so
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, ์†์ƒ ํ•˜๊ณ  ๊ฐ์ •์„ ํ‘œํ˜„ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š”์ง€ ์—ฌ๋ถ€์— ๊ด€๊ณ„์—†์ด ๋Œ€ํ™”๊ฐ€ ์ •๋ง ํ–‰๋ณตํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:35
they feel better, or being exciting about a new challenge and they get to tell you because
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๊ธฐ๋ถ„์ด ์ข‹์•„์ง€๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์ƒˆ๋กœ์šด ๋„์ „์— ํฅ๋ฏธ๋ฅผ ๋Š๋ผ๋ฉด ๊ด€์‹ฌ์„ ๋ณด์ด๋„๋ก ์š”๊ตฌํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
12:40
you're asking them to make them seem interested.
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.
12:44
Before we do the test, actually something you can think about is this, keep this in
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ…Œ์ŠคํŠธ๋ฅผ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์ „์— ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ด๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ด๊ฒƒ์„
12:48
mind: It's more important to be interested in others than to be interesting, telling
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๋ช…์‹ฌํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค. ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์—๊ฒŒ ์ž์‹ ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๋ณด๋‹ค ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์—๊ฒŒ ๊ด€์‹ฌ์„ ๊ฐ–๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋” ์ค‘์š”ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
12:54
them about yourself.
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.
12:55
Okay?
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์ข‹์•„์š”?
12:56
Cool?
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์‹œ์›ํ•œ?
12:57
If you can keep that in mind with this, let's go to the board and we'll have our quiz on
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์ด๊ฒƒ์„ ์—ผ๋‘์— ๋‘˜ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด ๊ฒŒ์‹œํŒ์œผ๋กœ ๊ฐ€์„œ ๋Œ€ํ™”์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ํ€ด์ฆˆ๋ฅผ ๋ด…์‹œ๋‹ค
13:02
conversation.
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.
13:03
How well do you understand what I've taught you today?
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์˜ค๋Š˜ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์นœ ๋‚ด์šฉ์„ ์–ผ๋งˆ๋‚˜ ์ž˜ ์ดํ•ดํ•˜๊ณ  ๊ณ„์‹ญ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
13:06
Okay?
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์ข‹์•„์š”?
13:07
So, use the right phrase in the correct situation.
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ์˜ฌ๋ฐ”๋ฅธ ์ƒํ™ฉ์—์„œ ์˜ฌ๋ฐ”๋ฅธ ๋ฌธ๊ตฌ๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
13:09
So, remember I said this one?
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ, ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์ด๊ฒƒ์„ ๋งํ–ˆ๋˜ ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
13:11
"How do you feel about it?" is for empathy.
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"๋„ˆ๋Š” ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด ?" ๊ณต๊ฐ์„ ์œ„ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:14
All right?
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๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€?
13:15
And don't forget the: "Okay..." notice the arrow going up?
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์žŠ์ง€ ๋งˆ์„ธ์š”: "์•Œ์•˜์–ด..." ํ™”์‚ดํ‘œ๊ฐ€ ์˜ฌ๋ผ๊ฐ€๋Š” ๊ฒŒ ๋ณด์ด์‹œ์ฃ ?
13:17
You go: "Okay..." and let your voice trail up or go up to tell them subconsciously or
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ "์•Œ์•˜์–ด..."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๋ชฉ์†Œ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ์œ„๋กœ ์˜ฌ๋ฆฌ๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๋ฌด์˜์‹์ ์œผ๋กœ ๊ทธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜
13:24
to get them to give you more information, like you're saying to them: "Go on, continue,
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๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ทธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ "๊ณ„์†, ๊ณ„์†,
13:29
keep talking."
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๊ณ„์† ๋งํ•˜์„ธ์š”."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ์ •๋ณด๋ฅผ ์ฃผ๋„๋ก ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:30
All right?
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๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€?
13:31
Cool.
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์‹œ์›ํ•œ.
13:32
Let's go to the board.
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๋ณด๋“œ์— ๊ฐ€์ž.
13:33
Let's start off with the first one.
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์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ๋ถ€ํ„ฐ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•˜๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:36
Someone seems disinterested in a conversation with you, would you use A or B?
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€ ๋‹น์‹ ๊ณผ์˜ ๋Œ€ํ™”์— ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์—†๋Š” ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . A ๋˜๋Š” B๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์‹œ๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
13:42
You know, I want to keep that in mind to keep them to talk more, get them more excited in
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์•Œ๋‹ค์‹œํ”ผ, ๋‚˜๋Š” ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋” ๋งŽ์ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ณ  ๋Œ€ํ™”์—์„œ ๋” ํฅ๋ถ„ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋งŒ๋“ค๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ช…์‹ฌํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
13:48
the conversation.
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.
13:49
Which do you think it would be, A or B?
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A ๋˜๋Š” B ์ค‘ ์–ด๋Š ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋  ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์Šต๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
13:58
That's right, if they're not interested, you need to prompt them or you need to push them,
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๋งž์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค, ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์—†๋‹ค๋ฉด, ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์„ ์žฌ์ด‰ํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๋ฐ€์–ด๋ถ™์ผ ํ•„์š”๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:03
so the answer is going to be, what?
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๋‹ต์€ " ๋ฌด์—‡"์ด ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:05
B. You're going to go: "Okay..."
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B. ๋‹น์‹ ์€ "์•Œ์•˜์–ด..."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:08
So if they were to, like: "So, I got a new job."
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๋งŒ์•ฝ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด "๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ, ๋‚˜๋Š” ์ƒˆ ์ง์žฅ์„ ์–ป์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."
14:10
You go: "Okay..."
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"์•Œ์•˜์–ด..."
14:11
Like: "You need to give me more information to make me interested in your conversation."
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"๋Œ€ํ™”์— ๊ด€์‹ฌ์„ ๊ฐ€์ง€๋ ค๋ฉด ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ์ •๋ณด๋ฅผ ์ œ๊ณตํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค ."
14:16
By using empathy here is not going to really help you as much because they don't really
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์—ฌ๊ธฐ์„œ ๊ณต๊ฐ์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์—†๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์‹ค์ œ๋กœ ๋„์›€์ด ๋˜์ง€ ์•Š์„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:20
care, so first you got to make them care and then get, you know, emotion from them.
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ๋จผ์ € ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๊ด€์‹ฌ์„ ๊ฐ–๊ฒŒ ํ•œ ๋‹ค์Œ ๊ทธ๋“ค๋กœ๋ถ€ํ„ฐ ๊ฐ์ •์„ ์–ป์–ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:27
How about the next one?
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๋‹ค์Œ์€ ์–ด๋•Œ?
14:29
Someone is upset or angry about something.
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚ด๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋ƒ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:36
Yeah, I'd say A. Right?
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๋„ค, A๋ผ๊ณ  ํ•˜๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋งž์ฃ ?
14:44
They have emotion.
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๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ๊ฐ์ •์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:45
You want to say: "How do you feel about that?
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" ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์„ธ์š”?
14:46
What do you think about that?"
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์„ธ์š”?"
14:48
Help them get that energy...
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๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๊ทธ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€๋ฅผ ์–ป๋„๋ก ๋„์™€์ฃผ์„ธ์š”...
14:49
They're already energetic, they're excited, they're upset.
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๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ์ด๋ฏธ ํ™œ๊ธฐ์ฐจ๊ณ , ํฅ๋ถ„ํ•˜๊ณ , ์†์ƒํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:51
Remember?
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๊ธฐ์–ตํ•˜๋‹ค?
14:52
Angry, upset is full of energy.
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๋ถ„๋…ธ, ์†์ƒํ•จ์€ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€๋กœ ๊ฐ€๋“ ์ฐจ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:54
Now you want them to give you more information.
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์ด์ œ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ์ •๋ณด๋ฅผ ์ œ๊ณตํ•˜๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์›ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:56
"Okay..." remember, that wouldn't be good in this situation because you'd be going,
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"์•Œ์•˜์–ด..." ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•˜์„ธ์š”. ์ด ์ƒํ™ฉ์—์„œ๋Š” ์ข‹์ง€ ์•Š์„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์™œ๋ƒํ•˜๋ฉด ๋‹ค์Œ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์ด ๊ฐˆ ๊ฒƒ์ด๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
15:00
like: -"I'm so angry, my boss ran out..."
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15:02
-"Okay..."
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15:03
It's like not the time.
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์‹œ๊ฐ„์ด ์•„๋‹Œ ๊ฒƒ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ.
15:05
You should be like: "Well, how do you feel about it?
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ "๊ธ€์Ž„, ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋‹ˆ?
15:08
What do you think is going on?"
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๋ฌด์Šจ ์ผ์ด ์ผ์–ด๋‚˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋‹ˆ?"
15:10
This, you want to show empathy so they know you're listening so that they will continue
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ๊ณ„์†ํ•ด์„œ ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋„๋ก ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋“ฃ๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ์•Œ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋„๋ก ๊ณต๊ฐ์„ ๋ณด์—ฌ์ฃผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์›ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
15:15
to speak to you.
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.
15:16
Okay?
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์ข‹์•„์š”?
15:17
Excellent.
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ํ›Œ๋ฅญํ•œ.
15:18
You're doing a good job.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ž˜ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
15:19
Let's try the next one.
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๋‹ค์Œ์„ ์‹œ๋„ํ•ด ๋ด…์‹œ๋‹ค.
15:22
Someone is excited about something.
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๋Š” ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€์— ํฅ๋ถ„ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
15:25
Someone is excited about something.
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๋Š” ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€์— ํฅ๋ถ„ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
15:36
That's right, it's similar to the other situation.
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๋งž์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์ƒํ™ฉ๊ณผ ๋น„์Šทํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
15:40
Excited is with energy, they already have energy, so: -"How do you feel about it?"
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ํฅ๋ถ„์€ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€๋กœ, ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ์ด๋ฏธ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€๋ฅผ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ: -"๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์„ธ์š”?"
15:43
-"I just got a new job, and it's, like, going to be in a new city and I have to travel."
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-"๋ฐฉ๊ธˆ ์ƒˆ ์ง์žฅ์„ ๊ตฌํ–ˆ๋Š”๋ฐ ๋งˆ์น˜ ์ƒˆ๋กœ์šด ๋„์‹œ์— ๊ฐ€๊ฒŒ ๋˜์–ด ์—ฌํ–‰์„ ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์•„์š”."
15:47
And it's like: "So how do you feel about that?
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"๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๊ธฐ๋ถ„์ด ์–ด๋•Œ์š”?
15:49
Are you excited about that?"
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ํฅ๋ถ„๋˜์‹œ์ฃ ?"
15:50
You don't put emotions, you ask them, so go: "Yeah, I'm terribly excited.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ฐ์ •์„ ์ง‘์–ด๋„ฃ์ง€ ์•Š๊ณ  ๊ทธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ๋ฌผ์–ด๋ด…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "์˜ˆ, ์ €๋Š” ๋งค์šฐ ํฅ๋ถ„๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
15:53
I'm also afraid because I have to leave my friends, and..."
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๋˜ํ•œ ์ €๋Š” ์นœ๊ตฌ๋“ค์„ ๋– ๋‚˜์•ผ ํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๋‘๋ ต์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ..."
15:57
They're going to be excited to talk to you because they need to get it out, and you're
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๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ํฅ๋ถ„ํ•˜์—ฌ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊บผ๋‚ด์•ผ ํ•˜๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์€
16:00
allowing them to do that.
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๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋„๋ก ํ—ˆ์šฉํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:02
"Okay..." as in: "Go on" would seem like...
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"์•Œ์•˜์–ด..."์™€ ๊ฐ™์ด: " ๊ณ„์†ํ•ด"์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ๋ณด์ผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค...
16:05
We might say you seem disinterested, like: "Yeah?
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋ฌด๊ด€์‹ฌํ•ด ๋ณด์ธ๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:09
What's so important about it?"
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16:10
Clearly you can see they're excited, demonstrate you understand by asking them: "How do you
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๋ถ„๋ช…ํžˆ ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ํฅ๋ถ„ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์•Œ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "๋‹น์‹ ์€
16:15
feel about it?"
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๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์„ธ์š”?"
16:16
Next one: You've been talking a lot in a conversation.
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๋‹ค์Œ ๊ฒƒ: ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋Œ€ํ™”์—์„œ ๋งŽ์€ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:22
What should you do?
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์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
16:23
Hmm, you're going to say: "Oh, I'm not too sure."
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ํ , ๋‹น์‹ ์€ "์˜ค, ์ž˜ ๋ชจ๋ฅด๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
16:34
I'll tell you what you do.
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๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋ฌด์—‡์„ํ•˜๋Š”์ง€ ๋งํ•ด ์ค„๊ฒŒ.
16:38
This.
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์ด๊ฒƒ.
16:39
"What?
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"๋ญ์•ผ?
16:40
Why would you do that?"
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์™œ ๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋Š”๋ฐ?"
16:41
Well, you've been talking a lot, so you've been taking a lot of the air and the energy
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๊ธ€์Ž„์š”, ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋ง์„ ๋งŽ์ด ํ–ˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๋Œ€ํ™”์— ๊ณต๊ธฐ์™€ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€๋ฅผ ๋งŽ์ด ๋นผ์•—๊ฒผ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
16:44
in the conversation.
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.
16:45
They might be now disinterested in the conversation or maybe even angry because you've been talking
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๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ์ด์ œ ๋Œ€ํ™”์— ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์—†์„ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ทธ๋“ค์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์‹ ๊ฒฝ ์“ฐ์ง€ ์•Š๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ๊ณ„์† ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ–ˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ์‹ฌ์ง€์–ด ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋‚  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
16:53
the whole time like you don't care about them.
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. ๋‹ค์Œ๊ณผ
16:55
It's time for you to say something, like: "And then I did this, and then I did this,
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๊ฐ™์ด ๋งํ•ด์•ผ ํ•  ๋•Œ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋‚˜์„œ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ํ–ˆ๊ณ , ๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๊ณ  ๋‚˜์„œ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ํ–ˆ๊ณ ,
16:58
and then I...
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋‚˜์„œ... ๊ทธ๊ฑฐ
16:59
Do you know what?
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์•Œ์•„์š”? ๋‹น์‹ ์€
17:01
You haven't been on a vacation in a long time.
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์˜ค๋žซ๋™์•ˆ ํœด๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์•Š์•˜์–ด์š”.
17:03
How do you feel about taking a vacation to a country like this?
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์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ง€๋‚ด์„ธ์š”? ์ด๋Ÿฐ ๋‚˜๋ผ๋กœ ํœด๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ๋– ๋‚˜๋Š” ๊ฒŒ ์–ด๋•Œ?
17:05
How would...?
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์–ด๋•Œ...?
17:06
What would you do?"
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์–ด๋–กํ• ๋ž˜?" ๋‹น์‹ ์ด
17:08
Turn it around, show empathy that I do care about what you think about my life, but I
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๋‚ด ์‚ถ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋Š”์ง€์— ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ์ ์„ ๊ณต๊ฐํ•ด ์ฃผ์„ธ์š”
17:12
also care what you think because I care about you.
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.
17:15
Remember: One of the most important words in the English language is not the letter
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๊ธฐ์–ตํ•˜์„ธ์š”: ์˜์–ด์—์„œ ๊ฐ€์žฅ ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ๋‹จ์–ด ์ค‘ ํ•˜๋‚˜๋Š” ๋ฌธ์ž
17:19
A, but the letter I, right?
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A๊ฐ€ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ ๋ฌธ์ž I์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:22
And once you say: "You", and they can say: "I think, I feel", they feel included, that's
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ผ๋‹จ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด "๋‹น์‹ "์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด "๋‚˜๋Š” ์ƒ๊ฐํ•œ๋‹ค, ๋‚˜๋Š” ๋Š๋‚€๋‹ค"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ณ , ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ํฌํ•จ๋œ ๋Š๋‚Œ์„ ๋ฐ›๊ณ ,
17:27
where the emotion and the empathy comes in.
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๊ฑฐ๊ธฐ์—์„œ ๊ฐ์ •๊ณผ ๊ณต๊ฐ์ด ์‹œ์ž‘๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:30
And finally: Someone is talking down to you.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋งˆ์ง€๋ง‰์œผ๋กœ ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€ ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ๋ง์„ ๊ฑธ๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:34
Talking down to you means, like, this, they are going: "Mm-hmm, mm-hmm."
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๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ๋ง์„ ๊ฑฐ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋‹ค์Œ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์€ ์˜๋ฏธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . "์Œ-ํ , ์Œ-ํ ."
17:38
They've got their nose, they're looking down on you because you're not important to them.
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๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ์ฝ”๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ทธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ์ค‘์š”ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— ๋‹น์‹ ์„ ๋‚ด๋ ค๋‹ค๋ณด๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:42
You seem like nothing to them.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ์•„๋ฌด๊ฒƒ๋„ ์•„๋‹Œ ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
17:44
"Mm-hmm, yeah.
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"์Œ-ํ , ๊ทธ๋ž˜.
17:45
Mm-hmm.
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์Œ-ํ .
17:46
Anyway, what I feel..."
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์–ด์จŒ๋“ , ๋‚ด ๊ธฐ๋ถ„์€..."
17:48
What would you do, A or B?
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋ฌด์—‡์„ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๊นŒ, A ๋˜๋Š” B?
17:53
Yeah, funny enough, B.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜, ์ถฉ๋ถ„ํžˆ ์›ƒ๊ฒจ, B.
18:07
And as a bonus, once the conversation turns around, first of all I would say: "Okay."
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋ณด๋„ˆ์Šค๋กœ, ๋Œ€ํ™”๊ฐ€ ๋Œ์•„์˜ค๋ฉด ์šฐ์„  ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ "์•Œ์•˜์–ด."๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
18:12
If they're talking down on me, like: "Dah-dah-dah", I go: "Yeah, okay, okay", because you're saying:
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๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋‚˜์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด "Dah-dah-dah"๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋ฉด " ๊ทธ๋ž˜, ์•Œ์•˜์–ด,
18:16
"Just as you don't think I'm not important, I'm not really impressed by your conversational
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์•Œ์•˜์–ด." ๋‚˜๋Š” ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ๋Œ€ํ™” ๋Šฅ๋ ฅ์— ๋ณ„๋กœ ๊ฐ๋ช…์„ ๋ฐ›์ง€ ๋ชปํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
18:20
skills.
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.
18:21
You need to bring them up.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์„ ํ‚ค์›Œ์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
18:23
You need to make me interested."
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๊ด€์‹ฌ์„ ๊ฐ–๋„๋ก ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค."
18:25
But here's a key: Once they are interested and they seem to give some energy or they're
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‚˜ ์—ฌ๊ธฐ์— ํ•ต์‹ฌ์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ผ๋‹จ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๊ด€์‹ฌ์„ ๊ฐ–๊ณ  ์•ฝ๊ฐ„์˜ ์—๋„ˆ์ง€๋ฅผ ์ฃผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ๋ณด์ด๊ฑฐ๋‚˜
18:29
interested in your conversation, then switch to A. After all, you're trying to improve
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๋Œ€ํ™”์— ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด A๋กœ ์ „ํ™˜ํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค. ๊ฒฐ๊ตญ
18:36
your conversation, right?
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๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๊ฐœ์„ ํ•˜๋ ค๊ณ  ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ
18:38
And the best way to improve your conversations is to have conversations.
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๊ฐœ์„ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฐ€์žฅ ์ข‹์€ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์€ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ๋‚˜๋ˆ„๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
18:42
To make people feel bad just because they make you feel bad doesn't make you get more...
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์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์„ ๊ธฐ๋ถ„ ๋‚˜์˜๊ฒŒ ๋งŒ๋“ ๋‹ค๊ณ  ํ•ด์„œ ๊ธฐ๋ถ„์ด ๋‚˜๋น ์ง„๋‹ค๊ณ  ํ•ด์„œ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ๊ฒƒ์„ ์–ป์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค...
18:47
Won't help you get more practice.
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๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ์—ฐ์Šต์„ ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ ๋„์›€์ด ๋˜์ง€ ์•Š์„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
18:49
So what we want to do is maybe go to B because you're human and you deserve respect, but
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ๊ฒƒ์€ ์•„๋งˆ๋„ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ์ธ๊ฐ„์ด๊ณ  ๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์กด๊ฒฝ๋ฐ›์„ ์ž๊ฒฉ์ด ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์— B๋กœ ๊ฐ€๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ
18:54
once they're showing it to you, show A, that you care about them, because after all, this
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์ผ๋‹จ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ณด์—ฌ์ฃผ๊ณ  ๋‚˜๋ฉด A์—๊ฒŒ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ทธ๋“ค์— ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ณด์—ฌ์ฃผ์„ธ์š”.
18:59
lesson was how you can improve your conversation, but it's by doing practice or getting a lot
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๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ํ–ฅ์ƒ์‹œํ‚ค๋ ค๋ฉด ์—ฐ์Šต์„ ํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์—ฐ์Šต์„ ๋งŽ์ด ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
19:05
of practice.
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.
19:06
To do that you need to involve people in that, the conversation, not just talk at them, but
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด์„œ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์„ ๊ทธ ๋Œ€ํ™”์— ์ฐธ์—ฌ์‹œ์ผœ์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค . ๊ทธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ๋ง๋งŒ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ
19:11
talk with them.
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๊ทธ๋“ค๊ณผ ๋Œ€ํ™”ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:12
With these two tips you'll be well on your way to finding that many people, even in your
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์ด ๋‘ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ํŒ์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๋ฉด
19:17
own language, like talking to you more, want to talk to you, and enjoy conversations with
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๋ชจ๊ตญ์–ด๋กœ๋„ ๋” ๋งŽ์ด ๋Œ€ํ™”ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•˜๊ณ  ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ์ฆ๊ธฐ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•˜๋Š” ๋งŽ์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์„ ์‰ฝ๊ฒŒ ์ฐพ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค
19:21
you.
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.
19:22
You get the practice you need to be the person you want to be in a language: Fluent.
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์œ ์ฐฝํ•œ ์–ธ์–ด๋กœ ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ๋˜๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ํ•„์š”ํ•œ ์—ฐ์Šต์„ ์–ป์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:27
Now, I got to get going, so before you go...
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์ด์ œ ๊ฐ€๋ด์•ผ ํ•˜๋‹ˆ๊นŒ ๊ฐ€๊ธฐ ์ „์—...
19:30
Before I go, first of all I want to say thank...
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๊ฐ€๊ธฐ ์ „์— ๋จผ์ € ๊ณ ๋ง™๋‹ค๋Š” ๋ง์„ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€๋ฐ...
19:32
Oh, I almost forgot.
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์•„, ์žŠ์„ ๋ป” ํ–ˆ์–ด์š”.
19:33
You got homework.
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๋‹น์‹ ์€ ์ˆ™์ œ๋ฅผ ์–ป์—ˆ๋‹ค.
19:34
You know what your homework is?
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์ˆ™์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋ญ”์ง€ ์•Œ์•„?
19:36
I need you to go to engVid.
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engVid๋กœ ์ด๋™ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:39
There are a lot of people there and I see all the time...
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๊ฑฐ๊ธฐ์—๋Š” ๋งŽ์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ์žˆ๊ณ  ๋‚˜๋Š” ํ•ญ์ƒ ๋ณธ๋‹ค...
19:43
Go to www.eng as in English, vid as in video.com (www.engvid.com).
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์˜์–ด๋กœ www.eng๋กœ ์ด๋™ํ•˜๊ณ  video.com(www.engvid.com)์—์„œ vid๋กœ ์ด๋™ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:48
A lot of people are always saying: "I need to talk to somebody.
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๋งŽ์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ํ•ญ์ƒ ์ด๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. "๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์™€ ๋Œ€ํ™”ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
19:50
I want to chat and practice."
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์ฑ„ํŒ…ํ•˜๊ณ  ์—ฐ์Šตํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ด์š”."
19:52
Go there, go especially after this lesson, check out the people who are there.
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๊ฑฐ๊ธฐ๋กœ ๊ฐ€์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค, ํŠนํžˆ ์ด ์ˆ˜์—… ํ›„์— ๊ฐ€์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค, ๊ฑฐ๊ธฐ์— ์žˆ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์„ ํ™•์ธํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
19:56
Go on there, they often put down their Facebook or whatever, saying: "Hit me up" or "What's
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๊ฑฐ๊ธฐ์— ๊ฐ€์„œ ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ์ข…์ข… "๋‚˜๋ฅผ ๋•Œ๋ ค์ค˜"๋˜๋Š” "๋ฌด์Šจ ์ผ์ด์•ผ
20:00
up?"
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? "๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๋ฉด์„œ Facebook ๋“ฑ์„ ๋‚ด๋ ค ๋†“์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
20:01
Do so, practice these things so you can get it.
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๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ํ•˜์„ธ์š”, ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๊ทธ๊ฒƒ์„ ์–ป์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋„๋ก ์ด๊ฒƒ๋“ค์„ ์—ฐ์Šตํ•˜์„ธ์š”.
20:03
So if you can't talk to somebody, you know, in person right away, get online and talk
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๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์™€ ๋Œ€ํ™”ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์—†๋‹ค๋ฉด ์ฆ‰์‹œ ์ง์ ‘ ๋งŒ๋‚˜์„œ ์˜จ๋ผ์ธ์— ์ ‘์†ํ•˜์—ฌ
20:08
to people.
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์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๊ณผ ๋Œ€ํ™”ํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.
20:09
Cool?
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์‹œ์›ํ•œ?
20:10
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the lesson, once again.
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์–ด์จŒ๋“ , ๋‹ค์‹œ ํ•œ ๋ฒˆ ์ˆ˜์—…์„ ์ฆ๊ฒผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๋ž๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
20:12
Please subscribe, it's either up here or over there; it changes every day.
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๊ตฌ๋…ํ•˜์„ธ์š”. ์—ฌ๊ธฐ ๋˜๋Š” ์ €๊ธฐ์— ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋งค์ผ ๋ฐ”๋€๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
20:15
All right?
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๊ดœ์ฐฎ์€?
20:16
And I want to say thank you for watching the video.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์˜์ƒ ๋ด์ฃผ์…”์„œ ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•˜๋‹ค๋Š” ๋ง์”€ ๋“œ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์‹ถ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค .
20:19
Excuse me.
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์‹ค๋ก€ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
20:20
And don't forget to go check out other people on the website, they're great teachers.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์›น์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ์—์„œ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์„ ํ™•์ธํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์žŠ์ง€ ๋งˆ์„ธ์š” . ๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ํ›Œ๋ฅญํ•œ ์„ ์ƒ๋‹˜๋“ค์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
20:23
Okay?
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์ข‹์•„์š”?
20:24
Been a pleasure, and I'll talk to you soon.
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์ฆ๊ฑฐ์› ๊ณ  ๊ณง ์–˜๊ธฐํ•˜๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
์ด ์›น์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ ์ •๋ณด

์ด ์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ๋Š” ์˜์–ด ํ•™์Šต์— ์œ ์šฉํ•œ YouTube ๋™์˜์ƒ์„ ์†Œ๊ฐœํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ „ ์„ธ๊ณ„ ์ตœ๊ณ ์˜ ์„ ์ƒ๋‹˜๋“ค์ด ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์น˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ˆ˜์—…์„ ๋ณด๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ฐ ๋™์˜์ƒ ํŽ˜์ด์ง€์— ํ‘œ์‹œ๋˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ” ํด๋ฆญํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ณณ์—์„œ ๋™์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋น„๋””์˜ค ์žฌ์ƒ์— ๋งž์ถฐ ์ž๋ง‰์ด ์Šคํฌ๋กค๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜๊ฒฌ์ด๋‚˜ ์š”์ฒญ์ด ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒฝ์šฐ ์ด ๋ฌธ์˜ ์–‘์‹์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์—ฌ ๋ฌธ์˜ํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.

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