STOP SAYING “I’M FINE!” | Reply This to "HOW ARE YOU?"

- Hey, how are you?

You hear this phrase all the time

and I'm sure you have a reflex to answer,

I'm fine, thank you.

This was like your first English class at school, right?

But the thing is, what we've learned at school

is not always applicable in real life.

In America for example, if you're asked how are you?

In the majority of cases, people don't care,

which means that your answer should depend on

whether people care or not.

And, I'm fine, thank you, is, well, kind of old fashioned.

So today, I'm gonna teach you how to reply

to how are you in different situations

and with different people.

So if you're interested, continue watching.

(upbeat music)

First, let's look at some quick phrases that you can use.

You would use those phrases with acquaintances or strangers.

What does it mean?

When you come to a grocery store

and the cashier asks you, how are you?

This is a stranger and you don't want to tell them

that everything is bad

and you have to pay this college bill or whatever.

Or if somebody's sitting next to you in a bus

or you're riding in an elevator,

like, I ride in an elevator everyday,

I meet my neighbors and they always, how are you?

It doesn't mean they're really interested in how am I,

they just want to start a conversation.

Those people are also strangers.

Actually, in the United States,

when people ask you, how are you?

Sometimes it's equal to hello

and it's not really a question.

So in these situations, it's better to give a short answer,

'cause you don't wanna be too daunting

with explaining what's going on in your life.

The first short answer is, not bad,

which, depending on your intonation,

can be either positive or neutral.

So if you say not bad, that means everything is okay,

everything is going well.

You know, say, eh, not bad, which is neutral.

Or, not bad, this is positive.

- Not bad.

- The next phrase you can say, all right.

Again here, it means you're fine.

And everything depends on your intonation.

All right is like okay, neutral.

Everything's all right!

Positive, you know, you're enjoying your life.

- I'm all right.

- The next thing you can say, good.

I'm good.

And sometimes you think that saying I'm good

is grammatically incorrect,

because when we're talking about actions,

we normally use adverbs instead of adjectives.

So for example, saying we danced good is wrong,

we danced well is better.

But because in this sentence,

you're actually saying, I am good, or you can just say good,

it makes it grammatically correct.

So don't worry about it.

I'm good is a completely grammatically correct phrase

and it means that you're happy, everything is going well

in your life.

- I'm good.

- This is the last answer that I'm giving you

when you reply to strangers.

So, let's repeat them.

Not bad, all right, good.

Very short, kind of informal

and you don't waste other people's time,

because you remember that how are you,

is just a way of saying hello and being polite.

But, if you're talking to your friends,

if you're talking to your family members,

if you're talking to somebody who's really close,

it's actually impolite to just tell them like,

eh, I'm okay, whatever, I'm good.

You want to be more explicit.

You want to go into details

because these people actually care about you

and they wanna know what's going on in your life.

You can say, I'm exhausted.

You're really tired, there are a lot of things

going on at work and you really wanna complain,

then do it.

That's a perfect situation to complain

because you're talking to your friends.

- I'm exhausted.

- If you tell your friend that you're okay,

sometimes if he's really worried about you,

he might ask you, just okay?

And this will be an appropriate follow-up question

because they might notice that something is not well,

that something's going on,

so they want more honesty from you.

- I'm okay.

- You can say, I'm frustrated.

My aunt in San Francisco, she just got a new job,

and we met for dinner and I was like, how are you?

And she's like, I'm frustrated.

There's this coworker who's so annoying,

who is, he's actually below her, so she manages him,

and he's trying to tell her what to do all the time.

And she said, "I'm frustrated."

"I don't know how to deal with him."

"I don't how to settle in this new working space

"because this guy keeps telling me what to do

"when, in the reality, I'm his manager."

Totally appropriate phrase to answer question, how are you?

I'm frustrated.

- Yeah, I'm just frustrated.

- If a friend calls you and you know he would always call

when he has free time and wants to talk,

you can tell him, hey, I'm busy.

You know, I'm recording a video for my LinguaMarina channel,

gonna call you back in uh, half an hour.

I'm busy.

- I'm busy.

- You see what we're talking about here,

is giving people more details

about how you're actually feeling.

And the next phrase is stressed out.

How are you?

I'm so stressed out right now.

You know, I have exams coming in a week.

I have to apply for a job.

I have to apply for a visa, blah, blah, blah.

So there's a lot going on in your life

and you're under this pressure.

- I'm so stressed out.

- By the way, the task for you after this video,

is to tell me how you are.

And I'm asking you how are you?

And if you already have a phrase in mind,

write it down in comments below

and tell me what's going on in your life.

Let's make it more informal.

Let's make it in a way that friends and relatives do.

Tell me how you're feeling.

What's going on in your life?

Using one of those phrases that you're learning right now.

Another very common phrase, I've been better.

Normally it's followed up by,

actually complaining about something

or explaining what's going on in your life

and why right now is not the best time,

why you're not enjoying your life right now.

And if you say, I've been better,

I will probably ask, what's going on?

Why?

- I've been better.

- If everything's great,

if you don't wanna go into too many details,

you can just say, I'm great, everything is great.

How are you?

- I'm great.

- And the last, but not the least,

if something is coming up in your life,

you're having a baby, you're heading out to a concert,

you are getting a new job,

you can say, I'm excited.

- I'm excited.

- And don't forget that when people ask you,

especially your friends,

when they ask you how you are,

and when you tell them what's going on in your life,

it's very important that you also ask them back,

what's going on in their lives.

'Cause this is the way you start a conversation.

This is the way you're being polite

and maintaining relationship with people

who matter to you.

That was it from me guys for today.

Thank you so much for watching this video.

Don't forget to subscribe to this channel.

Like this video if you liked it

and I will see you very soon in the next videos.

Bye bye!