How to APOLOGIZE correctly (SORRY vs. EXCUSE ME)

- I'm going to put this stand.

How to Say Sorry.

Hey guys, welcome to my channel.

Today we're gonna talk about apologizing in English

and using the word sorry.

And in fact, native speakers use this word a lot.

When I was in the U.K, when I came for the first time,

I was surprised that people are apologizing for my fault.

I bumped into somebody on the underground

and they would apologize.

I do something wrong and people are like, I'm so sorry.

I'm like, no, no, no, I'm sorry.

People apologize all the time.

But there are several words

that you can use and several phrases

that are not appropriate in every single situation.

So we're gonna talk about those situations.

We're gonna talk about this words in this video.

Let's start with something really serious,

You made a very bad mistake.

Somebody gave you $1,000 to buy a mattress

and you lost $1,000.

Let's imagine that,

this is a serious mistake.

you come to that person,

you don't say, I'm sorry.

You say I owe you an apology.

Something really bad happened.

I went out and I lost $1,000.

I owe you an apology.

Then another phrase that you can use,

I'd like to apologize

and normally you would use these phrases

when you were about to get into this long explanation

about what happened.

You won't use this phrases,

when you bump into somebody in the street

or you do something minor.

You really use these phrases

with something wrong has happened, like really bad.

I want to apologize for doing this, this and that.

I did it because I had nothing else to do.

And you'd go into explaining,

don't forget to maintain the eye contact

because it's really important

and highlighting how serious the situation is.

Because if you just I'm sorry

and you walk away,

this is what you do in the street.

If you really sit down and look a person in the eye,

they realize this is something serious.

I sincerely apologize.

I would use this phrase when you were late for the meeting

and your manager is really angry

or you're late for a class

the teacher's really angry

and you're like, I sincerely apologize.

There was this traffic jam.

I should have accounted for it and I haven't.

Can I please join the class?

And the last but not the least,

you can say, please forgive me,

this is something super serious.

For example, you took a job,

you had a deadline, you didn't do it.

And you can say,

I take full responsibility for my behavior,

It was completely wrong,

It was really irresponsible of me to do that.

Please forgive me.

Normally next you would offer something like,

I would like to do this work again for you,

free of charge, please forgive me.

So those phrases again are for really bad events,

really bad mistakes.

But if something less serious happens,

you can use the phrases that we're gonna learn next.

And also the phrases that I've just mentioned,

you can use them in written English.

If you're writing an essay,

if you're writing an academic statement,

if you're writing a formal letter of apology

there's something like that as well,

then you use those phrases.

Now if you're talking to a friend

and you're just late for the movie

and nothing serious, you just wanna apologize,

there are several phrases that you can use.

First. Hey, I wanted to tell you I'm sorry,

I was 20 minutes late for this movie,

but I'm glad I was able to join.

Or you dropped something in a restaurant

in front of somebody who's walking by

and you're like, my apologies and you pick it up.

What I hear a lot from native speakers

is when they say, sorry, my bad,

which means this is my fault.

Sorry, my bad.

Sorry, my fault.

Sorry, my mistake.

So you're taking full responsibility for what happened.

Another phrase that you can add,

I'm sorry, I was wrong on that.

And this is maybe

when you made a prediction about something.

And for example you said,

it's gonna be sunny tomorrow

and we're gonna go for a walk

and you wake up in a fog and it's raining

and you're like, I'm so sorry I was wrong on that yet

it's actually raining.

We need to stay home,

but we can do other things.

Maybe you gave somebody's secret away

and you can say,

how stupid of me, I should have thought about this,

I'm so sorry.

How stupid of me is another informal phrase.

And again, these phrases are really informal.

I would use them in an informal situation with friends

or people you know well.

Now there is a difference between saying sorry

and excuse me.

Sorry is when something happened already

and you're apologizing

and you go into explaining why this happens.

Excuse me, is when you want to get somebody's attention.

You're apologizing in advance.

Like, excuse me, could you please move a little?

Which means I am so sorry I have to move you.

But could you please do it

because I'm taking a picture

and you're right in the picture.

So you're like, excuse me,

could you please move two fit to the right.

If you wanna speak up

and you want to draw attention to yourself.

Again you're not saying, I'm sorry, I want to speak.

You say, excuse me, could I please have a word

or excuse me, excuse me guys, can I have your attention.

There is something I want to tell you,

about when to say sorry and when to say excuse me.

Please separate those two words in your head.

When you do something wrong,

you don't say, excuse me,

you say, I'm sorry.

When you want to draw somebody's attention,

you haven't done something wrong yet, you say, excuse me.

Another situation when native speakers use the word sorry

is when they want to express their sympathy.

Maybe they've heard bad news

and they want to tell you that they're feeling the same grief,

maybe not the same, but they have sympathy for you.

And they can say, I'm so sorry to hear that,

It's gonna be fine.

Here they're not sorry

because they haven't done something wrong.

They are just telling you about how they feel.

For example, you got a really low score on your TOEFL,

which means you have to retake it

and somebody can say,

I'm so sorry that you got this low score

but you know, life goes on,

you have another month to prepare

and you're gonna retake it.

Or something bad happened

and you're like, I'm so sorry for your loss.

My deepest condolences.

Here again sorry is not because he made a mistake.

It's because you are feeling

what the other person is feeling

and you want them to understand that.

And again, you notice the way I pronounce those phrases,

it's more like lower wise.

Maintaining eye contact super important,

because your voice, your body, your mimic, everything

that surrounds what you're saying

actually gives it different meaning

to your words.

Please pay attention to that.

And native speakers are really sensitive to those things.

And there are several prepositions

you use with the word sorry.

You say sorry about

and you're sorry about something that you've heard,

you're expressing your sympathy.

And sorry for, is when you've done something wrong.

This is another differentiator for you,

the preposition that comes after the word sorry

either about or for.

About again is when you heard something, sympathy,

for is when you've done something wrong.

The last but not the least with this video,

you need to know how to react when people apologize.

There are different ways to react normally.

99% chance when you're apologizing to a native speaker,

they would tell you that,

don't worry, It's okay.

Though Maybe they're really upset

and you made really big mistake.

But this is this Western culture

where people don't wanna blame you,

they want you to feel easier.

They will tell you,

don't worry, it's okay.

Or they gonna tell you,

that's all right, forget it.

I'm good. Yes, I'm.. you spilled coffee all over me

and you ruined my favorite dress,

but don't worry, forget it.

It doesn't mean that you just walk away.

You still offer help because this is this Western culture.

People just really polite

and don't want you to feel bad.

Normally I would say,

no worries, no problem, no big thing.

No worries is I think my favorite phrase ever.

If you wanna be really formal,

you can say,

this is not your fault,

I understand,

traffic happens, no problem, take your sit.

This is not your fault.

Please do not blame yourself.

You couldn't control these things, it's okay.

You should not blame yourself.

Again things were outside of your control.

That was it from me for today guys,

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Thank you and bye.