How Everyday Interactions Shape Your Future | Mesmin Destin | TED

翻译人员: Yip Yan Yeung 校对人员: Yanyan Hong

When I was 16 years old,

在我 16 岁的时候，

I was getting straight As at my fancy college prep school

我在我那所高档的 大学预科学校科科得 A，

and feeling great about all the possibilities ahead of me.

对眼前的无限未来万分憧憬。

So one day I walked into the office of my high school guidance counselor,

有一天，我走进了 高中指导老师的办公室，

and I told him about all the exciting plans

告诉了他 我满脑子激动人心的计划。

that were coming together in my mind.

I told him how I wanted to move to the great city of Chicago,

我告诉他， 我想搬去芝加哥这座大都市，

where my brother was living at the time, and start a whole new life.

当时我兄弟住在那里， 我想在那里开始全新的人生。

I told him I wanted to go to Northwestern University

我告诉他，我想上西北大学，

and build on my strengths in something like biology

发挥我的特长，比如生物、

or piano or psychology.

钢琴或心理学。

It was all just a path that felt so right to me in my bones.

这就是我骨子里 觉得最合适的道路。

The guidance counselor was this quirky older white gentleman,

指导老师是一位 古怪的白人老先生，

I remember really well,

我记得很清楚，

in response, he looked directly at me

听完了我的计划， 他直勾勾地看着我，

and he said,

说道：

"Well it's a nice plan, a great school,

“嗯，计划不错，学校很好，

but it costs a lot of money

但是要花很多钱，

and they don't let a lot of people in."

而且他们也不会录取多少学生。”

And that was pretty much the end of the conversation.

对话结束。

I walked out of that office knowing I had a lot of other support in my life,

我走出了办公室，心里知道 周围还有很多其他支持我的人。

I put the conversation to the side and kept moving forward.

我把这段对话抛诸脑后， 该干嘛干嘛，

But it stuck with me.

但就是挥之不去。

And I would think about it from time to time over the years

多年以来，我时时刻刻 反复想起这段对话，

and just wonder how that interaction or others like it

思考这段互动或类似这样的互动，

could really affect someone,

会怎样确确实实地影响一个人，

especially if they don't have a lot of other support in their life

尤其是当他们周围 没有什么人可以支持他们，

or they're not sure what they might be able to do.

或者他们不确定 自己能做到一些什么。

So I kept going, I followed through with my plan.

我坚持着我的方向， 按照自己的计划前进。

It worked out really well for me.

事实证明我的决定没错。

I continued on to grad school in psychology.

我继续攻读心理学的研究生学位。

And eventually I found myself fixated

最终，我发现自己很喜欢

with studying the lives and life paths of young people.

研究年轻人的生活和人生轨迹。

And in this work,

在研究过程中，

the problem I've come to recognize

我意识到了一个问题，

is that people are constantly made to feel smaller

就是人们总是会由于

周围的人和环境的影响，

than they might otherwise become

认为自己达不到 有能力达到的高度。

by the people and the systems around them.

And this really matters

这很重要，

because it holds us back from seeing and reaching who we might be.

因为这会阻碍我们看清、 成为我们能成为的人。

My colleagues and I have also found, however,

但是，我和我的同事也发现了

that key messages at critical moments

关键时刻的关键信息

can keep people inspired by possibility.

能让人看见各种可能性， 因而备受鼓舞。

We've been conducting experiments for the past 15 years,

我们在过去的 15 年里 做了一些实验，

testing how messages that open possibilities

测试了为人们带来新机遇的信息

can change people's lives by expanding their identities,

是如何通过拓宽而不是 限制人们的身份，

rather than shrinking them.

改变人们的一生的。

And when I say identities,

我所说的“身份”，

I mean, all of the ideas that you have about who you are

指的是你对“你是谁”、 “你会成为什么样的人”的

or who you might be.

所有想法。

This includes the groups that feel really core to who you are,

包括主要代表了 “你是谁”的那个群体，

which we call social identity.

我们称之为“社会认同”。

Like, your family can be a part of your identity

比如，你的家庭 可以是你身份的一部分，

or your race, your ethnicity, your economic status.

还有你的人种、种族、经济状况。

But identity is more than just all these ideas about who we are right now.

但是，身份不仅仅是这些 代表了“你现在是谁”的想法。

It's also your ideas about who you might become in the future,

它还包括了你以后会变成什么样，

which we call “future identity.”

我们称之为“未来身份”。

And all these different parts of identity are constantly being shaped

身份的各个部分一直会受到

by the environments that you find yourself in,

你身处的环境、

by the things that you go through and by the messages that you take in.

你的经历和你汲取的信息影响。

These messages can either shrink your identities

这些信息可能会限制你的身份，

and make you feel smaller,

让你感觉自己更渺小，

or they can expand your identities

它们也有可能会拓宽你的身份，

to bring more possibilities within reach for you to then work towards.

为你带来触手可及的新可能， 让你可以为之努力。

So to make all this as clear as possible,

为了阐明我刚说的内容，

let's imagine together a specific 11-year-old kid.

我们一起来想象 一个 11 岁的小朋友。

Let's give him a name,

给他起个名字，

we can use my brother's name and call him Reggie.

就用我兄弟的名字吧， 叫他瑞吉（Reggie）。

At the age of 11,

11 岁的时候，

Reggie's moving from being a cute little kid to a preteen.

瑞吉从一个可爱的小宝宝 长成了一个即将步入青春期的儿童。

He has got good friends, loves his family.

他有好朋友，也爱他的家人。

And when he gets asked that question people always seem to ask,

有人问了他一个老生常谈的问题：

"What do you want to do when you grow up?"

“你长大了想干些什么？”

He actually has a pretty solid image coming together in his mind.

他的脑海中出现了 一个挺清晰的画面。

He is growing up in a modest apartment,

那时，他会住在 一个不太大的公寓里，

but he loves beautiful homes

但是他很喜欢他美丽的家，

and has an eye for how they’re designed and constructed.

很讲究它的设计和装修。

And he likes math,

他喜欢数学，

so he sees himself becoming an architect and designing homes all over the world.

所以他认为自己会是一名建筑师， 为世界各地的家设计。

At the same time,

与此同时，

he's starting to learn more and more

他越来越了解

about the barriers in his way to reaching that possible future identity.

获取那个可能拥有的未来身份 途中的艰难险阻。

Everything he's going to have to accomplish,

他需要完成的每一件事，

all of the money it takes to get there.

他需要拥有的所有财富。

It's this part that we wanted to tackle in our research.

这就是我们的研究 所针对的部分。

So we've run experiments testing how kids like Reggie react

我们做了一些实验， 测试像瑞吉这样的孩子会如何

or respond to messages that open or close possibilities.

对拓宽或限制可能性的信息 做出反应或回复。

How does that change what they imagine for their own future identities

这些信息会如何影响 他们对未来身份的畅想，

and what they actually do.

如何影响他们真正会做的事。

So let's say, somebody comes into Reggie's classroom one day

比如，有一天， 有个人来到了瑞吉的教室，

with a message to share.

要分享一个消息。

And this is just like we do in our experiments.

这就是我们在实验中 会采取的行动。

It's something like,

我们可能会说：

"Yeah, college can cost a lot of money.

“没错，读大学要花很多钱。

But there's this thing out there called need-based financial aid.

但是有这么一个机制， 叫做基于需求的奖学金。

There are these resources and opportunities to help you get there,

有很多资源和机会 可以帮助你读大学，

tuition can be really lower, even free,

可以大大降低学费， 甚至可能是免费的，

if you set yourself up to get to the right places."

只要你下定决心要达成你的目标。”

Our experiments show that getting that message

我们的实验表明接收到这样的信息

changes how Reggie responds to the question

会改变瑞吉对

“你觉得你以后会做些什么？” 这个问题的答案。

of "What do you see yourself doing later in life?"

All of the possibilities that probably require college,

可能需要大学学历的各种可能性，

like becoming an architect,

比如成为一名建筑师，

become bigger in his mind,

会在他的脑海里放大，

and he becomes 30 percent more likely to see that for himself

他能想象自己 走向这个未来的可能性

and give that type of response

比起接收到这么一条信息： “这是读大学要花的钱。完毕。”

compared to if he just gets a message saying,

"Here's the cost of college, end of story."

得到同样反应的可能性 要增加 30%。

What's really interesting on top of that

除此之外，更有趣的是

is that the message that opens possibilities

拓宽未来可能的信息

does more than just change what Reggie imagines.

不仅仅改变了瑞吉的想象。

It changes what he actually does to get there.

它还改变了瑞吉为达成这个目标 所采取的行动。

Our experiments show that after getting that message,

我们的实验表明 在接收到这样的信息后，

he plans to spend twice as much time on homework the following night,

他决定要在第二天晚上 花两倍的时间做作业，

and he ends up seven times more likely

最终确确实实完成、提交 一份老师第二天分发的作业的

to actually complete and turn in a real assignment

the teacher hands out the very next day.

可能性增加了 7 倍。

So this is all when he's just 11 years old.

这是在他仅有 11 岁的时候 会发生的情况。

So let's follow this a little bit further to when he's now 15 years old.

我们再往后走一走，现在他 15 岁了。

He's in the middle of high school

他高中读了一半，

and still really excited about this possibility of architecture in his life

依旧对建筑师人生的 可能性充满激情，

because of the messages he's been getting, opening the possibilities

源自他接收到的信息， 这为他敞开了未来的大门，

and the things he's been doing as a result of them.

他也由此采取了各种行动。

At this age, he’s becoming more and more attuned

15 岁，他越来越理解

to what we call different levels of status

他与社会中的一些人和 群体之间存在的

between him and other people and groups in society

所谓的地位阶级差异，

who seem to have more stuff,

那些人拥有更多资产，

have nicer clothes, more expensive homes.

更多高档衣物，更贵的房产。

Ultimately, he's picking up on whose lives and identities seem to be setting them up

最终，他发现这些人的生活和身份

for all this success that everybody seems to want.

好像就是在为 人人向往的成功铺路。

So what we wanted to know in our studies

我们试图通过研究理解

is how are the messages that he's getting at this point

这时他获取的 关于他自身身份的信息，

about his own identities,

who he might be now or in the future,

关于他现在、未来 会成为什么样的人的信息，

changing the extent to which it still feels worth it

会如何改变他对值不值得

to keep working towards this long-term goal.

继续朝着这个 长期目标努力的感受。

So let's say, somebody comes into his high school classroom

假设现在有个人 来到了他的高中教室，

with a message to share, could be a counselor or a teacher.

要分享一个消息， 这个人可能是个顾问或者老师。

Again, just like we do in our experiments,

和我们在实验中采取的行动一样，

but this time it's a message specifically about his identities.

但是这次，这条信息 针对的是他的身份。

It's something like,

消息可以是这样的：

"You may be noticing that there are some people and groups in society

“你可能注意到了 社会中有些人、有些群体

who seem to have more money or seem to be better set up

好像有更多的钱， 好像有更多成为人生赢家的资本。

to succeed in life.

But actually those people and groups

但是那些看似拥有更少资产，

that are seen as having less and having to work more for things,

需要付出更多努力 才能收获的人和群体，

they gain some specific advantages because of that experience.

他们会因为这段经历 收获一些特别的优势。

That type of social position leads people to develop all sorts of strengths

这种社会地位让人们 发展出了各种各样的特长、

and skills and perspectives and connections

技能、观点、联结，

that are really key to contributing to school and society."

它们是学校、社会的关键部分。”

What we find and replicate in multiple experiments

我们的多个实验中 都出现了这样的结果：

is getting that message

获取了这样的信息，

that you might be a person with special strengths because of your identity,

让你知道你可能由于你的身份 成为了一个有特殊优势的人，

leads Reggie to feel better about who he is

会让瑞吉对自己的身份

和人生中的机会更为积极。

and his chances in life.

And this is above and beyond just some general positive

这胜过、超越了一些 普普通通的积极话语，

"You can do it" type of message.

比如“你能行”。

It's the specific connection between his identity and those strengths

他的身份和优势之间的特殊关联

that's especially powerful.

非常强大。

For example, he starts to reflect and he realizes that he has to work a lot

比如，他开始思考， 发现他需要非常努力

to help to contribute to the family,

才能为这个家贡献一份力，

and he has to take care of his brother all the time

他得在他妈妈工作到很晚的时候，

while his mom is working late.

一直照顾他的弟弟。

So he's become really good at time management

于是，他变得很擅长时间管理，

and still getting everything done.

所有事都能干完。

It's these types of realizations as a result of the message

这条信息带来的进步

that lead him to have a significant boost in his self-esteem

比起没有听到这条消息，

compared to if he didn't get that message.

大大增强了他的自尊。

But it's not just that empty self-esteem.

但这不仅仅是徒有其表的自尊。

What’s again interesting is that he becomes more inspired,

又得到了有趣的结果， 他变得更加振奋，

and he becomes almost 10 percent more likely

比起没有接收到这样的信息，

to continue working and persisting every time he runs into difficulty

他在做很难的学校任务或作业时，

in a challenging school task or assignment

每次遇到困难， 他会继续坚持完成的

compared to if he didn't get that message.

可能性提高了将近 10%。

And that increase in persistence pays off over time,

越来越多的坚持不懈 会逐渐体现出回报，

it's connected to his grades staying high or improving throughout high school,

会让他的成绩保持优秀， 或在高中阶段越来越好，

which is very different from the normal trajectory of most students' grades

这与大多数学生成绩的 正常轨迹截然不同，

slowly going down a little bit as high school goes on.

通常随着高中生活的推移， 成绩会缓缓下降一些。

So that shift keeps his goals within reach for longer.

这种改变让他的目标更长久地 保持在他的可及范围内。

And it takes us to four years later.

又过了四年。

He's now 19 years old.

现在，他 19 岁了。

He kept going on in school

他在学校里保持着这样的状态，

because of these messages building up his identities

源自帮他建立起身份的这些信息

and the things that he did as a result of them.

和他由此采取的各种行动。

And he finds himself in this exciting and scary new world of college.

他现在来到了这令人激动 又让人害怕的大学新世界。

He's feeling a little bit uncertain.

他感觉有点不安。

As he looks around,

环视四周，

he's hearing other students use words he's never heard before with confidence,

他听到同学们侃侃而谈 他从未听过的词语、

they're talking about their trips to Europe and all over the world.

他们欧洲之行和世界各地之旅。

So he's really looking for some kind of message

他在寻找某些信息， 想知道在这个新环境里，

about how his identities are seen in this new environment.

别人是如何看待他的身份的。

So let's say he's in the dining hall one day early on.

假设他刚来不久， 某一天在食堂里，

He doesn't know a lot of people yet.

他还不认识什么人。

So he overhears a group of older students sitting nearby,

他听到一些学长学姐 坐在附近说话，

and they happen to be older students

这些学长学姐正好背景各异。

coming from a wide range of backgrounds.

And he hears them talking about the financial aid they're receiving

他听到他们在讨论收到的助学金，

and how they feel supported at the university.

感觉在大学里受到了支持。

He hears some of them saying they realize

他听到有些人说，他们发现

they're coming from homes and neighborhoods

他们的家庭和社区

that aren't the same as many of the wealthy students

和那些看似与他们 平起平坐的有钱学生

who seem to be around.

不太一样。

But it's turning out to help them.

但这对他们是有益处的。

They know a little bit more about how to handle the tough situations

他们逐渐了解了该如何处理

读大学时会出现的麻烦情况。

that come up during college.

They know a little bit more about real-world issues and topics.

他们逐渐了解了 真实世界中的问题和话题。

He hears them say they realize they're bringing more into the classroom

他听到他们说，发现自己 会怀揣着更多东西进入课堂，

because of their identities and where they’re coming from,

这来自于他们的身份和出身，

and that it's being recognized.

而且这些都是受人认可的。

Getting that message, hearing from your peers or the institution

听到了这个信息， 听到你的同伴或学校说

that your identities are valued

你的身份很重要，

leads Reggie to feel like he's going to figure out

让瑞吉觉得他得想办法

how to succeed in his classes and get the most out of college.

学好每门课， 从大学收获更多东西。

Our experiments show that getting that message at the right time

我们的实验表明 在适当的时机获取这条信息

bolsters him so much

让他获得了巨大支持，

that he then engages in college

比起他没有收到这条信息，

in ways that throughout his first year lead his grades to improve

他在大一这一年采取的学习方式

compared to if he didn’t get that message.

提高了他的成绩。

So much so, that he ends his first year with grades that are just as high

提高到了什么程度呢， 大一结束时，他的成绩

as students coming from those wealthy backgrounds

已经和来自富有家庭、

and well-known private schools,

知名私立学校的学生差不多了，

reducing the disparity between him and those other students

他与其他学生之间的差异

by over 60 percent.

减少了超过 60%。

These are robust effects that we find in experiments

我们随机指定了学生 会不会受到这样的信息，

where we randomly assign students to receive these messages or not.

而这就是我们从实验中 得到的有力成效。

But there's a wrinkle in all of this.

但这一切不是一帆风顺的。

All of these messages, they help so much,

这些信息确实很有帮助，

they keep somebody seeing and reaching towards tough goals

让人们大开眼界， 向着将在以后的人生中兑现的

that can pay off in life,

高远目标努力，

but it can take a lot from you

但是如果你要一直坚持、 克服困难，

to constantly persist and overcome barriers.

也要付出很大的代价。

And as Reggie reaches his dream job at a top architecture firm

当瑞吉获得了一份 顶尖建筑师事务所

or in whatever field he discovers along the way,

或在此过程中发现的任何领域 所提供的理想工作时，

he realizes that he's feeling kind of stressed all the time.

他发现自己一直有点焦虑。

He's even getting physically ill a little bit more often.

甚至身体上 也越来越频繁地出问题。

This is because to make it this far,

这是因为要达到现在的成就，

he's had to be extraordinarily vigilant and persistent.

他必须保持 高度谨慎、坚持不懈。

He's had to overcome barriers in schools and workplaces

他得克服学校和职场中的艰难险阻，

that aren't designed for people without a lot of family wealth.

这些困难本就不适合 家里没有矿的人。

He's had to deal with constant experiences of prejudice and discrimination

他得持续面对 偏见和歧视的侵扰，

in settings that aren't used to seeing someone like him succeed.

就是有人看不惯 像他这样的人取得成功。

We published a review of dozens of academic articles and empirical studies

我们发表了一篇基于大量 学术论文和实证研究的报告，

showing that this type of experience takes a toll on the physical health

表明这种经历需要像瑞吉这样的人 付出身体健康上的代价，

of people like Reggie

and leads him to have an increase in levels of inflammation in the body,

会导致他体内的炎症加重，

which is normally a natural response to something like a threat from a virus.

这通常是由病毒之类的威胁 产生的自然反应。

But it becomes harmful

但是它会变得有害，

and over time leads him to have an increased risk of heart disease,

长期以来， 相较如果没有这么拼，

cancer, chronic long-term illness

他患上心脏疾病、癌症、 慢性长期疾病的风险会增加。

compared to if he weren't striving in this way.

So in the end, is it even all worth it?

说到底，这一切都值得吗？

Well, I do think that it is, because our experiments,

嗯，我觉得是值得的，

因为我们与健康研究实验室 合作的实验

in collaboration with health research labs

show that there are ways for him to work towards these goals

表明他有办法可以 在朝着目标奋斗的同时

and maintain his health at the same time.

保持自己的健康。

Let's go back to when he's in college,

让我们回到他读大学，

overhearing that group of students talking.

听到一群学生聊天的时候。

And say he actually is able to jump over to connect

假如他选择了过去聊聊天，

and make that new group of friends.

和这群人成为了朋友。

Or he's able to join some community or organization,

或者他加入了一些社团或者组织，

like many that we work on,

就像我们组织的那种，

that's established to help him form deep and meaningful bonds

旨在帮助他建立起 与他人深厚、有价值的联结，

with people who may have some shared identities and experiences

这些人可能拥有 与他一样的身份、经历、

and backgrounds that they explore together.

背景，共同探索。

Or he's able to also hold on to connections

或者他牢牢抓住了某些联结，

in the places that he calls home

心系他称之为“家”的地方，

with the people that he calls family

心系他称之为“家人”的人，

and with the culture that matters to him.

心系他所珍视的文化。

All of these social connections and relationships

这些社会联结和关系

are essential for physical health.

对于身体健康至关重要。

We've run experiments in collaboration with health research labs

我们与健康研究实验室 共同完成了一些实验，

where we randomly assign young people to get a message

我们随机分配年轻人 收到这样的信息，

that encourages them and shows them

鼓励他们，告诉他们

how to cultivate and maintain these types of relationships

应该如何培养、维护这种关系，

while they're striving for these goals,

与此同时朝着目标努力奋斗，

taking them to new places,

引领他们走向新天地，

compared to a message only focused on achievement.

也可能会接收到只关注成果的信息。

And what we find when we bring these participants back into the lab

把受试者带回实验室后，我们发现

is that over the course of a year,

在这一年里，

that increased emphasis on connection and relationships

越来越多针对 联结和关系的着重强调

leads to a decrease in inflammation of 25 percent.

会减少 25% 的发炎症状。

So by not only expanding his identities

瑞吉不仅拓宽了自己的身份，

but also keeping them connected to close relationships,

还保持着亲密关系的联结，

Reggie is able to find achievement and health at the same time.

使他能在追求成功的同时 保持健康。

Now my actual brother Reggie had a very different life path

我真正的兄弟瑞吉 与我们刚描述的 11 岁虚构小朋友

than the imaginary 11-year-old kid that we just followed.

有着大相径庭的人生轨迹。

His life ended when he was struck and killed by a drunk driver

大约 10 年前， 他被一名醉驾司机撞死，

almost exactly 10 years ago.

生命止步于此。

He was just a couple of years older than I am now.

他只比现在的我年长几岁而已。

I really looked up to the life that he was able to build.

我一直憧憬着 他本可以拥有的生活。

It was full of joy and community and success, doing what he loved.

充满欢乐、归属感、成功， 做着他喜欢做的事。

But he had to find all of that

但是，他得靠自己 寻觅这些东西，

despite not receiving any of these messages we've talking about in schools,

没有人告诉过他 我们刚谈到的学校里的信息，

building up his identities or opening possibilities.

建立身份、开创未来的信息。

I never had the chance to ask him how he felt about all of that.

我从未有机会问问他 对此有何感想。

If there were any possibilities he felt like he'd let go of

有没有他想放弃的选择，

or if it all just seemed harder than it needed to be to find his way.

寻找道路的过程有没有 比本该经历的更为曲折。

What if these schools and systems that we’re in as we’re growing up

如果我们成长过程中 所在的学校和系统

actually supported everyone's vision and potential?

真的为每个人的畅想 和潜力提供支持，会怎么样？

What if they actually encourage people to see

如果它们真的鼓励人们去

that there is a path to the goals that they're working towards

看清一条通往 自己努力的目标的道路，

and that there are ways that the circumstances of their lives,

他们人生中的各种情况，

whatever they may be,

无论是什么情况，

are setting them up for success as they see it,

都在让他们 为达成想要的成功做准备，

building up their identities rather than shrinking them.

建立而不是限制他们的身份。

These types of messages can be embedded

我们可以把这种信息融入

in the ways that we teach important and challenging topics

我们要传授的重要、有挑战的话题，

in areas like science, language, math, the arts, history.

如科学、语言、数学、艺术、历史。

They can be central to out-of-school activities,

这些信息也可以成为 课外活动的核心部分，

like mentoring programs and enrichment programs.

如辅导计划、拓展项目。

These messages can be backed up by the policies

这些信息需要由政策支持，

that are necessary to make the financial resources

把达成这些目标所需的资金

that you need to reach these goals

actually available for every kid, without taking on crippling debt.

提供给每一个孩子， 而不是背上令人身心俱疲的债务。

In the meantime,

与此同时，

as we continue to push for the systemic changes

我们一直在推进系统性变革，

that would be necessary to make these types of messages just feel common,

让这种信息成为家常便饭，

we also each have power as individuals.

同时我们也有作为个人的力量。

I'm thinking about you as parents,

我在想象作为家长、

as coworkers, as leaders, as friends,

同事、领导、朋友的你，

taking the time to show someone that you see who they are,

花点时间告诉别人， 你看到了他们是谁，

you see who they could be

你看到了 他们能成为什么样的人，

and that there is a path to the life that they're imagining for themselves.

他们有能力走向他们想要的人生。

That message from you could lead someone to hold on to what keeps them going

你分享的这条信息 足以让一个人坚持着他的动力，

for just one more day.

再多坚持一天。

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause and cheers)

（掌声与欢呼）