Elizabeth Zion: The need for family reunification -- to make families whole again | TED

Transcriber: Leslie Gauthier Reviewer:

(Irish) Dia duit.

(Yoruba) Bawo ní.

(English) My name is Elizabeth.

I am 18 years old,

and I am a second-year university student in Dublin.

And I would like to share a glimpse into my beginnings.

Prior to my birth,

my mother,

who was born in a Muslim family,

converted to Christianity.

And she faced persecution from her family,

who were all Muslims at the time,

and fled Nigeria to escape religious persecution

and to fight for a better life for my four siblings and I,

of which I am the youngest.

She tried to get asylum in a number of countries

and eventually got a letter of acceptance

from a relatively small country known as Ireland.

Ireland accepted her application,

and while her case was pending,

we were given housing

in a small town in the West of Ireland called Clifden,

in one of the country’s Direct Provision centers.

And so began the wait for my arrival.

My due date was July 13th,

which was also the day that my father was born.

But I refused,

and decided that I preferred to be born on the 16th.

And so I was born in my mother’s room

with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck.

I was actually believed to be the first child to be born in Clifden,

as opposed to in the hospital,

in 15 years.

I even made the local news.

I guess persistence and stubbornness pays off.

And my mom still has a newspaper that detailed my arrival story

to this day.

So you could say I had a rocky start to life.

Other than the fact that I was born on the floor,

I was literally born into a system

that has been criticized by human rights organizations as illegal,

inhumane and degrading.

But I’ve denied my beginnings the ability to dictate my end.

After I was born,

my siblings were granted residence here,

and it was a relief for her to have all of her children with her.

But what she didn’t have was her husband ...

my father ...

her biggest support in the journey.

And now after 18 years,

multiple rejected visa applications,

countless trips to the immigration offices

and hundreds of visits to various different lawyers and solicitors,

my father is yet to be granted access to join his family here.

And growing up without him has been the hardest part.

So the topic of this talk today

is the need for family reunification

and the effects of one-parent households on children.

We often spend time talking about how children are the future

and how it’s necessary and crucial for us to lay good foundations for them

so they have equal opportunities to succeed.

But the first and most important foundations in a child’s life

are laid at home. within the family structure.

And think about it:

when you have two parents who want to be in your life,

having both parents around and involved means having access

to more of the economic and community resources available,

as both parents are willing

to invest their time, energy and money into the well-being of their children.

And so I often imagine

how different life would be if my father was here.

If my father was here,

I would have never had to witness my mother painstakingly try her best

to raise my two sisters and I along with my two brothers alone.

There is not one day

I have not heard her beg God for the strength to raise us.

Her earnest prayers have been the backdrop of my sleep

and my only lullaby for as long as I can remember.

She’s only one person,

so she needed his strength to be in five places at once,

as my siblings and I all had our different issues

and problems to deal with that we needed her there for --

but all the while struggling to maintain a good relationship with my father,

who is thousands of miles away.

Or what it would have meant

to see my father at my recitals or at my brothers’ matches.

None of us would have ever been left staring into a crowd of parents,

disappointed that our own parents,

our biggest supporters,

couldn’t be there.

And I’m certain we would have escaped experiencing homelessness

if my father was here.

For months, my family and I were homeless.

Finding housing in Ireland is difficult enough already,

but just imagine how challenging it is for a single mother,

trying desperately to provide for her five children.

In fact, at times it’s virtually impossible,

which is how my family and I ended up homeless.

And I remember the first night we spent at the emergency accommodation hostel.

My mother, siblings and I all gathered to pray

because we knew that the only thing we had left to depend on

was God and his mercy.

It was a tearful night.

And we had many more of those

in the following seven months of our homelessness.

And I could give you all of the statistics about family separation around the world

or the harm it does children

when they have parents who want to be together raising them

but are denied the chance to do so.

But we don’t need statistics or case studies

to justify the need for family reunification.

Because the idea that families should be together,

deserve to be together,

is a fundamental human right.

It doesn't arise from research evidence or government charts.

The right to be with your family,

to be loved and cared for by your family,

exists because you exist.

It is the right of all humans.

And according to the United Nations Convention of the Rights of the Child,

Article 9 states

that children must not be separated from their parents against their will

unless it is in their best interest.

And children whose parents are separated have the right

to stay in contact with them

unless this would cause them harm.

And we don’t have to document that harm to show its magnitude

and for those rights to be vital and central and urgent,

even though, of course, those harms are indeed very real.

I remember a time, when I was about seven years old,

and I had been tucked into bed by my mom,

and I had a sudden realization

that I couldn’t remember what my father even looked like anymore.

I began to cry to her,

as it felt like the waves of time had wiped away his image from my mind.

My memories of him consisted of pictures

and her stories of him

for the longest time.

And now that my siblings and I are all grown up,

I hear him lamenting to my mother over the phone

about just how much he’s missed out on.

It deeply pains him

that he doesn’t know life with his daughters as women

and his sons as men.

And each day my yearnings grow stronger

to enjoy life with him now that he’s getting older,

and for him to enjoy the fruits of his labor.

He was never given the chance to hold my hand as I took my first steps.

But I pray I get the chance to hold his

when he needs my help to walk

In his old age.

As many of you already know,

the issue of family reunification is more than just an Irish issue.

It's indeed a global issue,

and it has been highlighted by the recent takeover in Afghanistan

and the ongoing Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

The sheer amount of families who have been displaced

and the thousands of unaccompanied children arriving

on the shores of countries all over the world,

Ireland included.

If there are parents who want to be together raising their children,

no government should ever stand in their way

but should instead find ways to reunite families who have been broken up by war,

persecution,

immigration

and all sorts,

but still have a desire to be together.

We need governments to take into account the stories of young people like myself,

whose families have been needlessly separated.

By expanding safe and legal pathways for families to migrate together,

whether that be migrant workers and their children

or refugees,

families have a greater chance of staying unified.

We need governments to accelerate reunification applications,

and we need them to address

the bureaucratic and political barriers to reunification

for families all over the world.

My father is a gentle, loving man

and the role model I have always needed.

He’s a man of great integrity

and a passionate, loyal advocate for the welfare of his family.

His love doesn't announce itself when it enters into a room.

It’s a quiet type of love,

but it knows no bounds for his family.

So ...

I cannot possibly begin to express

how devastating it would be

to continue living life this way,

especially when I know that my father loves me

and wants to be in my life.

I want my father to join me here in Ireland,

the country that my family and I are proud to call home.

And I want all families to be made whole,

to be reunified,

to be together,

as is our right.

Thank you.