20 Difficult English Phrases you need to know

Vanessa: Hi, I'm Vanessa  

from SpeakEnglishWithVanessa.com. Have  you had a bad day? Let's talk about it.  

Has someone ever asked you, "How are you doing?"  And you've had a really bad day and you just  

don't know what to say? Or maybe  even worse, someone is telling you  

about their bad day and you don't  know what to say. You just say,  

"Okay, sorry." Let me help you. In today's  lesson, you're going to learn the top daily life  

expressions to talk about difficult situations,  so the next time you accidentally spill coffee  

on your shirt, or someone tells you that their  dog died, you will know exactly what to say. 

And for today's lesson, like always, I have  created a free PDF worksheet that you can download  

right now with the link in the description.  It includes all of today's expressions,  

all of the situations and nuances when you should  use them that we'll talk about today, and you can  

answer Vanessa's challenge question at the bottom  of the PDF worksheet. You can click on the link in  

the description to download that worksheet today. All right, let's get started with the first  

category, which is some minor inconveniences  or difficulties, nothing too serious. How  

disappointing. Ugh. This loaf of bread has  already gone stale? How disappointing. My date  

doesn't look anything like his profile picture?  How disappointing. It's unfortunate. That's  

unfortunate. This is especially used when there's  some element of luck involved or maybe being  

unlucky. Let's say you bite into a cookie. Ugh.  I thought these were chocolate chip cookies, but  

they have raisins. Ugh. That's unfortunate. It's  just bad luck. It's not ideal. That's not ideal.  

You could say there was a lot of traffic, so I  took a shortcut and then I lost. It wasn't ideal.  

Well, yeah, that's true. It's not the best  situation. Ideal means amazing, the best.  

So you might say, eh, that's not ideal. Or what about this situation? I wanted to  

spend the weekend relaxing and then my mom asked  me if I would help her to clean out her garage.  

It's not ideal, but I'll help her. This wasn't my  idea of a perfect weekend, but you know what? I'll  

do it. It's not ideal, but I'll do it. Now, just  a little note. This can be used sarcastically.  

Let's imagine a situation. Let's say  you're driving and you accidentally  

hit your neighbor's trash can and it dents the  front of your car and cracks your windshield.  

Okay. It's not ideal, but it's kind of worse  than that, right? Like this is a big deal.  

You have to get it fixed. It's probably going to  be really expensive. And it was all your fault.  

And it was kind of a dumb thing too, right?  So when you're telling someone what happened,  

they might say, that's not ideal. This is very sarcastic, because of course  

it's not ideal. This is so obvious, right? That's  not ideal. Notice the tone of my voice, the look  

on my face. I'm saying it in a sarcastic way. I'm  saying, "Yeah, that was a bad thing that happened.  

But I'm going to say it a little sarcastically."  Yeah. That's not ideal. You shouldn't have done  

that. That was kind of dumb. So it can be used  sarcastically, too. So just pay attention to  

someone's tone of voice. It's discouraging. That's  discouraging. My date said he would call me,  

but it's been two weeks. It's discouraging. This  is the 10th date that hasn't called me back.  

It's discouraging. This is especially true if  you are hoping for something good and then, ugh,  

it's so discouraging. Or if you bought  some lottery tickets and you were hoping  

that you would win and you hear them call the  winning lottery numbers and they're not yours,  

you could say, ugh, that's so discouraging. I  buy lottery tickets every day and I still haven't  

won. Hmm. Maybe it's a sign that you shouldn't  buy lottery tickets. Well, personal choice. 

The next set of three words is very casual.  Don't use this in the workplace, but  

in other situations, it's fine. You could say,  nuts. Crap. Dang it. Has this ever happened  

to you? You thought you were putting sugar in  your food. Maybe it's your tea or your coffee,  

or even a cake that you're making. And then  you look and say, "Ah, crap, it's salt."  

You don't want to substitute salt for  sugar. Ugh. So you can use these for  

minor inconveniences. Ah, nuts. This is  very polite, more polite. Then we have  

crap. That's what I say the most. And then  there's dang it, which is a euphemism.  

This means a slightly kinder or softer  word instead of saying a bad word, which is  

damn it. So if you put salt in your tea instead  of sugar, you can say, dang it. And it's  

okay to say that with children or maybe with your  family. If you don't want your kids to repeat it,  

well, maybe don't say it around them, but it  is certainly much nicer than the swear word. 

Another casual expression is, oh man. This  is especially when you're disappointed.  

You might say, "Oh man, I ordered a burger  and fries and they gave me a salad instead.  

Oh man." Let's say it's the beginning of  winter. This has happened to me many times.  

I open up my drawer of sweaters and I pick up  my favorite sweater. Oh, man, there's a little  

hole in it. How did that happen? I didn't touch  it all winter. Oh man, this is disappointing. 

The next one is also casual. That sucks. This is  also kind of a little bit rude, I would say. When  

I was a kid, my parents told me that's not a nice  word. Don't say it. But as an adult, people use  

it pretty flippantly. That means casually and  comfortably all the time. So I would say avoid  

it at work, but with friends or with family,  it's okay. If you're a kid, it's not really  

that great. But if you're an adult, it's fine. Let's imagine that you're watching your favorite  

football team in the championship and they lose.  You say, "Ah, my favorite team lost. That sucks."  

You're disappointed. You could also use this to  potentially comfort someone. So if your friend  

is hoping to get a promotion, you could say,  "Ah, I'm sorry, you didn't get the promotion you  

wanted. That sucks. I hope you get it next time."  So it seems like it could be used for really  

shallow situations. Your team losing.  Maybe that's very serious for you.  

Or for more serious situations, too, to express  care and empathy. Oh man, that sucks. I'm sorry. 

It's a bummer. That's a bummer. I use this  one a lot. Let's say you want to go to the  

beach and it's raining. Ugh. That's a bummer. You  booked this trip. You were so excited and now it's  

going to rain all week. Sorry. That's a bummer.  The next one is a fun one. Oh, come on, seriously?  

You can use this when you are annoyed and  frustrated. Let's imagine. You might say,  

"Ugh, come on. Seriously? I break down in the  middle of nowhere and then it starts to rain  

and I'm late for my job interview? Ugh, come  on. Seriously?" You are questioning the motives  

of the universe. Ugh. Come on, seriously? I would recommend not saying this to other  

people and only saying this to you yourself,  because if you said this to someone else, let's  

imagine that your coworker spills coffee on her  white shirt and it's messy all day. You wouldn't  

want to say to her, "Oh, come on, seriously?"  Because you would be telling her, "You are  

such a clumsy person. Why do you do that?" It's  quite negative. You're telling the other person,  

"You're a bad person." That's not so nice. But you  can say it to yourself. Oh, come on. Seriously?  

Why did this happen to me? Come on, seriously. Another fun one is, you've got to be kidding me.  

You got to be kidding me. They fired  you because your classes were too  

fun? You've got to be kidding me. This  might or might not have happened to me.  

You've got to be kidding me. Or what about this  situation? She broke up with you because she said  

her cat didn't like you? You've got to be kidding  me. Can you see in all of these situations,  

you are shocked. You are outraged. You've got to  be kidding me. This is a phrase that you can say  

to someone else, if you want to share their shock.  So if your friend says, "Yeah, he broke up with  

me because he said his cat didn't like me." You  can reply. "You've got to be kidding me. That's  

the most shallow reason to break up with someone.  What was he thinking? You got to be kidding me." 

Before we go to our seriously difficult  situation expressions, let's talk about  

one final melodramatic phrase. Why, God?  Why? So this one, you can sense the drama.  

Let's imagine that you, like I mentioned  before, accidentally put salt into your  

tea instead of sugar, but you also have  woken up late. You have a job interview.  

You're just feeling generally pretty bad. You  woke up on the wrong side of the bed and then  

you put salt into your tea. You might say, "Why  God, why? Why is everything going wrong today?"  

You're kind of appealing to the universe. Why,  why is everything against me today? So make sure  

you use this one for not so serious situations,  but just when you want to be overly dramatic. 

And now let's go on to some phrases you can use  for seriously difficult situations, whether it's  

to talk about yourself or to comfort someone else  and to talk about what they're going through.  

It's too bad. That's too bad. You lost your  job? That's too bad. That doesn't mean you did  

something wrong. It just means in general, I am  sympathizing with your hard time. That's too bad. 

Now just a little note, this can be used a  sarcastic tone of voice. So let's take a look  

at this situation. Let's say you're talking about  a couple and you hear that they have broken up.  

You might say, "Oh, they broke up. That's  too bad." Okay. Well you can see by my face,  

I'm not exactly devastated about this news.  Possibly I predicted that they would break up,  

or possibly I am interested in one of those people  who is now newly single. So you might say, "Oh,  

that's too bad that they broke up." So your words  and your tone of voice are very different. So this  

is something you need to watch out for in English,  is when someone's tone doesn't match their words.  

Oh, that's too bad. Oh, I got a big  smile on my face. So I'm not really sad.  

I'm just saying the thing that's socially  appropriate, but really that's not how I feel. 

It's a shame. That's a shame. She wanted  to be a professional figure skater and then  

she broke her leg. Ugh, that's a shame. It's  just something that's disappointing and sad.  

Possibly life changing or just a big roadblock.  You might say, he wanted to be a lawyer and then  

he didn't pass the bar exam and he just gave up.  He decided not to take it again. That's a shame.  

It's a pity. That's a pity. It's a pity you  have to move away for your new job. I was  

really loving being your neighbor. You can't  have cats in your apartment? Ugh. That's such  

a pity. I know how much you love your cats. So here in this situation, it's pretty serious,  

right? Well, either someone's moving away,  they can't keep their pet or in the previous  

expression, it's a shame, it's quite serious as  well. So these two, make sure you don't use in  

lighthearted situations. It's a shame or it's  a pity or for serious things. It's awful.  

That's awful. Ugh. He asked for a divorce on your  anniversary? That's awful. I'm so sorry. It's very  

strong, very serious and pretty big thing, huh?  You could also say, I spilled coffee on my shirt.  

I was late on the way to work and I got fired.  That's awful. Yes. This is really, truly awful. 

The final three expressions are for extremely  serious situations. You can say, it's devastating.  

That's devastating. To be devastated means you  can kind of imagine you're completely just on  

the floor. You can't move for weeks. Everything in  your life is terrible, or there's something that's  

so bad that you can't function normally. It's  devastating. So if someone that you love dies,  

it's devastating. Maybe if someone tells you about  some really tragic thing that happened to them.  

"Yeah, my grandma died and she  was just totally fine. And she,  

all of a sudden," and they tell you the story, you  could say, "Oh, that's devastating. I'm so sorry." 

So you're using this word in the accurate  situation, where there is something that is  

completely difficult for someone else and you are  acknowledging that, and that might make them feel  

validated or heard. And it can be good to use  this word only in very serious situations. Ugh.  

It's devastating. I can't believe that this  happened. If someone tells you something tragic,  

let's imagine that same situation that someone's  grandma dies. What can you say? The most common  

thing to say is, "I'm so sorry to hear that."  I'm so sorry to hear that. Is there anything I  

can help you with? Hey, can I bring you some  food tomorrow? I'm so sorry to hear that. 

But you could also add on to this. I'm so sorry to  hear that your grandma died. I'm so sorry to hear  

that you have to move to another state and you  really don't want to. I'm so sorry to hear that,  

plus the thing. This is great to write in a card,  too, because often in these devastating or tragic  

situations, we write a letter or write a card to  someone and give it to them. Those are the special  

moments when something physical really touches and  means a lot. So this is a good expression you can  

write. I'm sorry to hear that your grandmother  passed away. I'd like to stop by tomorrow and  

bring you some food. This is great. So kind. Our final expression for talking about difficult  

situations is, "I can't imagine." Now, this is  short for a fuller expression. I can't imagine  

what it must feel like to have your grandmother  die. Of course you don't understand because it's  

not your grandmother. You haven't been in that  situation. But to say that full expression is  

less common. It's more common to just say,  "Oh, I can't imagine. It must be really tough  

for you right now. I'd like to help bring you  some food tomorrow." Or, "Can I walk your dog  

for you?" I can't imagine. Let me help you. Oh  man, this lesson this kind of a bummer, right? 

Well, I hope that I can help you in these  difficult times because you know what?  

Sometimes things that are shame or even things  that are devastating, they happen in daily life,  

and we need to be able to express them and  talk about them. And we need to be able to  

empathize with other people who have difficult  things happening to them. So I have a question  

for you. Let me know in the comments, if I told  you that I failed a test and then broke my arm,  

what would you say to me? Which one  of these expressions would you use  

to empathize with my difficult situation? Well, don't forget to download today's for  

PDF with all of these bummer expressions,  but quite useful and necessary. Make sure  

you download the free PDF worksheet so that you  can accurately use these in daily life, and you  

can see all of the sample sentences and answer  Vanessa's challenge question at the bottom of the  

worksheet. There's a link in the description. You  can click that to download the worksheet today. 

Well, thank you so much for learning English  with me, and I will see you again next Friday  

for a new lesson that's less sad here on  my YouTube channel. Bye. The next step is  

to download the free PDF worksheet for this  lesson. With this free PDF, you will master  

today's lesson and never forget what you have  learned. You can be a confident English speaker.  

Don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel  for a free English lesson every Friday. Bye.